Chapter Text
“Dude, Ten ge is gonna kill me!”
“Are you sure he isn’t just hiding somewhere? Have you checked the shelves?”
“Yeah.”
“Under your bed?”
“Yeah.”
“Bathroom?”
“Of course.”
“Under your laundry?”
“I’ve scouted all the possible hiding spots in this apartment. Dude, Leon’s not a stupid cat.”
“Well, I really need to go now,” Guanheng stood up to put on his coat. “Call me if you can’t find him tonight, I’ll help you tomorrow. But he can’t possibly have left the building right? I mean he’s a cat.”
“Yeah, yeah I know. Say ‘Hi!’ to Dejun for me?”
“Yeah, I’m off!”
“Lock the door!”
Yangyang sighed deeply as he crawled on the floor, looking under the couch. He’s been looking around the apartment for his cat for about forty minutes now. Leon should be easy to spot, he’s a fucking cat. He laid on the floor with his phone’s flashlight on. Ten only allowed him to move out if he could take care of Leon and himself like a responsible adult he should be. He’s twenty now, it shouldn’t be hard right?
Only two weeks have passed and he almost set his kitchen on fire, killed the plant Dejun gave him, and lost Leon.
Thankfully, didn’t actually set the kitchen on fire, he just had to clean out his stove tops. And Dejun forgave him. He did tell him to not give him a house warming gift, but Dejun insisted.
He can’t even remember to water a plant daily, so how the fuck is he going to father a cat by himself?
Usually, Yangyang has everything under control. Guanheng said that even if he seemingly bullshits everything, it eventually works in his favor. Yangyang basically freestyles his way through everything and it all comes together, somehow. He did raise Leon, allotting time just for him. But that was when he was living with his brother Ten where he didn’t have to cook, clean, do laundry, and all that other shit, he just needed to study hard and get good grades. Now, he has the responsibility of looking after two beings and he can’t even take care of himself or his home.
He did lock the door before leaving for classes and he remembered to shut the windows.
“Holy shit, the balcony! I fucking forgot to shut the door.”
He stood up from the floor and ran to the balcony, and it was open indeed. Leon couldn’t have possibly jumped from the fifth floor. He isn’t Overcat, the opposite of Underdog. Yeah, he couldn’t have left the building, maybe one of his neighbors found him. Yangyang went back inside, this time closing the balcony doors. He just needs to knock on a couple doors next to him, but he isn’t really familiar with his neighbors. He sucks it up for his cat, slips on his shoes, and headed to the hallway.
The first neighbor, the one who resides in the unit opposite to him, is a lady who kindly said that she haven’t seen a greyish – brown abys cat. The second neighbor, the one next to unit A, apparently wasn’t home.
The last door is unit D, which is on the right. He was about to knock when the door opened to a guy his age, wearing pajamas and cradling his cat.
“Hi, I was going to ask if you’ve seen my cat.”
“Yeah, I think I’m holding him right now. I was about to knock on doors to look for his owner, here you go,” the guy handed Leon to him. “He entered my unit from the balcony door, I was so shocked to see him laying on my shelf.” He dusted his shirt, probably the cat fur, and smiled at him.
“He does that, laying on shelves I mean and not like breaking into other people’s apartments,” Yangyang forced himself to laugh in order to release his nerves.
Because the guy in front of him is so pretty, it made Yangyang conscious and a little bit jealous. He hasn’t changed out of the clothes he wore to uni earlier, which is a graphic tee, black cargo pants, and Run Star Hikes. The boy however, made loungewear look adorable.
“It’s alright,” he leaned on his doorframe, “he’s an obedient cat and I’ve always wanted a cat since I was young.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Silence engulfed the two, and the boy giggled, “I’m Huang Renjun by the way.” He offered his hand but retracted it when he realized that Yangyang was holding a cat with both of his hands, so he smoothly ran his fingers on Leon’s head instead.
“Liu Yangyang, and his name is Leon,” he gestured at the cat.
“Nice to meet you Leon!” Renjun cooed at the cat. “You too, Yangyang.”
“Thanks for looking after him,” he took a step backward, smiling wide at Renjun.
“No problem, he’s cute.”
“And you are too.”
“What?”
“What?”
“I heard you,” he smirked, crossing his arms, “and I think you’re cute too.”
---
“Nice, you found him. Then what did you do?”
“I excused myself and walked to my unit.”
“What? Dude, that was your shot!” Guanheng yelled through the phone.
“Yeah?”
“You blew it.”
“Eh,” he shrugged.
“What happened?”
“I’ve like never seen someone so pretty, like he’s wearing pajamas and a shirt and looking so adorable holding Leon like a little baby.”
“So your neighbour is cute huh?”
“He wears glasses and has platinum hair.”
“So what are you gonna do about it?”
“About what?”
“Your hot neighbor?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I don’t even know if he likes boys.”
“You kinda went all out talking about how his eyes light up and how you died inside when he smiled at you. Like ask him?”
Yangyang cringed, remembering what he said earlier. “Dude, I’m like so busy keeping my shit together. I don’t have time to pine over my cute neighbour, and I can’t just ask right away like 'Hey I think you’re neat, do you like boys?'”
“Well it worked for me.”
“You’re the worst.”
“At least I have my shit together. I bet you can’t even clean your whole unit by next week.”
“Are you challenging me?”
“Yeah.”
“Bring it.”
“Bet. Also you’ve been the token single friend for like a while now, and I’m getting tired of hearing you gag at everything Dejun and I do. Live a little won’t you? ”
“Gee, thanks. I’m hanging up, don’t spoil the movie for me.”
Yangyang slumped on his couch as he munched on his dinner. Boxed Mac and Cheese was his best bet because it’s easy to make. Guanheng is right, he’s young, single, and tired of watching his two bestfriends be disgusting together, but he just started living on his own.
Yes, Huang Renjun is aesthetically attractive. He’s little bit shorter than him or maybe the same height. Yangyang was wearing platform shoes earlier, while Renjun was wearing pizza patterned socks, so maybe they’re at the same stature. He’s kind to animals too, not everyone would look after a cat that broke into their house. Definitely Yangyang’s type physically, but that really isn’t enough for him to ask Renjun out. He barely knows the guy.
But deep inside, he knew that the boy will hold some sort of significance in the future.
“Did you have fun?” Yangyang asked Leon as he petted his back and Leon just stared at him straight to his eyes. “Alright, just don’t disappear like that again, you’re gonna give me a heart attack.”
He looked at Leon, his finished bowl of macaroni, then around his apartment. Two weeks was enough time to bask in his new found independence, but now he really has to act on it and prove it. He really needs to clean his apartment and learn some healthy recipes, and maybe get some spare cash from Guanheng after slapping his face with his clean apartment.
“Aight, time to write this essay.”
---
Yangyang didn’t have classes today, and he took the time to finish his requirements and do some housework. He finished his essay last night and collapsed in bed at three in the morning. It’s kind of funny how his professor received and noted his work right away. At least Yangyang was not the only one who had a rough night.
He flipped through his flash cards in preparation for his recitation tomorrow, even though his mind is turning numb. Maybe he should take a break and do his laundry. He would sort lights from darks, but all of his clothes are dark. He placed the first batch of clothes in the washing machine and went to the living room to sort out the last of his boxes that he failed to do last week.
He laughs to himself, wishing Guanheng would stub his left big toe eight times today.
It isn’t really much stuff, just kitchenware his aunt sent him and most of his shoes. Yangyang played some music as he scrubbed the ceramics and pots before putting them all inside the cabinets. Then he set up the shoe rack he owns and arranged his shoes by color. Forty – five minutes passed and his laundry is finished. He placed in the second batch of laundry and flipped the newly washed clothes inside out to be hanged on the clothesline in the balcony to dry.
“You don’t own a dryer?” someone spoke Mandarin from behind him.
Renjun is crouching and trowelling soil on a pot. Tiny flowers in plastic bottles lined the edge of his balcony.
“Nope, do you?” Yangyang put clothespins on a towel he hung.
“Nah,” he placed a small plant in the pot and patted the soil with his hands, “how’s Leon?”
“Great, he’s inside. Wanna see him?”
“Really?”
“Hold on,” he went inside and saw Leon was just laying around on the coffee table. Yangyang scooped him up and went back outside. “Here,” Leon purred in his arms.
“The distance from your balcony to mine really is jumpable, good thing I removed the bottles on this side.”
He put Leon down and the cat ran off, gracefully jumping to Renjun’s side.
“Leon, what the fuck?" Yangyang exclaimed. "What if you fell?”
“But he didn’t.” Leon curled to Renjun’s ankles.
“We’re five storeys above the ground.”
“Your cat is one hell of a dare devil.” Renjun rubbed the cat’s head, and Leon let out a satisfied purr. “Look he likes me so much.”
“Well he basically would jump off a building for you.”
“It’s only like two and a half feet, even you could jump this far.”
“Should I try?”
“Yes, and if you die, I’d catnap Leon.”
“I could just walk over there instead.”
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that? Come Yangie!” He said as he tapped his lap.
“Oh my god, you’re annoying.”
“People find it very endearing.”
All the garments from his basket are now hanged and Yangyang needs to get back on reviewing for his recitation. “Leon, jump back here and let Renjun garden in peace.”
Leon nudged Renjun’s calf in reply.
“Come on, I need to do shit around the apartment.” Yangyang tapped the space beside him.
“You’re hard working aren’t you?”
“No, I put off two weeks of housework. Everything is in shambles, and my best friend told me I won’t get shit done this week.”
“Sucks. He could stay a bit at my place. I’ll bring him back to you later.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I kinda fell in love with your cat.” He dusted his shorts and stood, leaning on the railing. “And I think he wants to stay with me too.” Leon passed between Renjun’s legs.
“Okay, only if he’s not intruding.”
“Its fine, and I’m done gardening for today.” He picked up Leon.
“Thanks.” Yangyang lifts his laundry basket and gestures to the door. “I’m gonna head in now.”
“Fighting! Don’t choke on dust!” He raised Leon’s paw to let out a little wave.
With Leon away, he could turn his apartment upside down without the fear of a clumsy cat. Yangyang finally arranged his wardrobe after years, sorting out the stuff to donate and to keep. Sometimes getting distracted with the treasure he would find. Like the stuffed elephant he bought in Taiwan. There is visible progress in his home, the curtains are fresh because Dejun helped him put them on the windows, the first batch of laundry is done, the kitchen is okay, he doesn’t think he needs to clean the bathroom yet, and his shoe collection and wardrobe are organized.
All he needs to do are change his sheets, grocery shopping, and shower.
Hold on.
The laundry.
Fuck laundry.
He ran to the bathroom with a basket and a tote bag full of red hangers.
---
He’s chilling in the living room fresh from the shower after all that hard work, when the doorbell rang.
“Hey, I brought Him over.”
“Thank you for looking after Leon, again.”
“It’s no problem, really.”
“Come in? I’d offer you dinner, but I’m literally like gonna collapse right now.”
Renjun, with Leon in hand, went in Yangyang’s home. “Wow, I guess you did well.” He says, noticing the boxes labled ‘Donate’ and ‘Trash’.
“Thank you, I took selfies as proof that I did it and uploaded it in my stories.” Yangyang rummaged through his fridge and found nothing.
“Well, I had such a good time with Leon over here.” He nuzzled the cat with his face, now seated on the couch. “I owe you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I made dinner, I know you’re hungry.”
“Oh my god, no. I’d eat like cat food if I have to. You’re making me feel bad.”
“Now, you’re making me feel worse.” Renjun frowned, his glasses slipping down his nose. “You’re thinking of eating fucking cat food.”
“Dude, you took care of Leon twice in a span of two days. I don’t wanna owe you too much.”
“I fucking insist. I wanted to look after Leon for my benefit.”
“And that is?”
“Having a cat in my home.”
“Wow, you really love cats.”
“Eat or starve to death?”
“Starve to death.”
“Dude, no.”
“Yes, I am finally escaping the confines of this limiting, physical form.”
“Don’t make me spoon feed you.”
“I mean, would you?”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m gonna move away and you’ll never like see Leon ever again.”
“I can literally hear you stomach.” Renjun pointed at Yangyang. “Your tum tums never lie.”
“Oh my god, fine. Please feed me, you are very much welcome to poison me.”
“If I do, I get to keep Leon?”
“Sure.”
“Nice.” He sets the cat on the floor, stood up, then headed to the door. “I’ll be back.” The door shuts and Yangyang is left alone with his cat.
“So like are we friends now or?”
Leon just looked at him like he’s stupid.
“Yeah, dumb question. Right you’re a cat.”
Yangyang had set the four seater table and filled a pitcher up with water. He also brought out his stash of chocolate for dessert. A few minutes later, Renjun came knocking with two containers in his arms.
“We just met yesterday and you’re already feeding me a hearty meal made with love?”
Yangyang sat down the chair as Renjun opened the containers of rice and chicken. “You know what they say about the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“I really feel like you’ve poisoned this, but I’m eating it anyway.” Renjun laughs at this. “Thanks for the meal, I really appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem, I thought my friends will come over tonight but they cancelled.” Renjun pushed the container towards him.
“Aww, I’m sorry. I’m like your rebound bestie.”
“Nah, I think you’re cool.”
“Really? So like we’re friends now?”
Yangyang placed Korean barbeque and rice in his bowl.
“Only if you want to, I mean do you want to go through the awkward neighbour phase where we just nod to each other in the halls?”
“And like ask each other for a pinch of salt?”
“People really do that?”
“I don’t know I only see that happen in movies. I hated my former dorm neighbors.”
“Sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“You started talking to me earlier in Mandarin.” Yangyang took a bite of the food. “This is nice.”
“Better than cat food right?”
“I guess, it’s less juicy.”
“Wait, what the fuck? You really ate cat food before?”
“I mean it looks tasty, aren’t you curious?”
“You’re a heathen.”
“Thanks, babe.”
“It’s actually my friend’s recipe.” He stuffed his cheeks with food too. “Your last name isn’t Korean and you replied right away when I asked if you own a dryer. Where are you from?”
“Taiwan, but I grew up in Germany.”
“I’m from Jilin. So how’d you end up here in Seoul?”
“I moved here with my brother to study.”
“What’s your major?”
“Business.”
“Oof sexy. Mine’s art.”
“Cool what kind?”
“Fine arts.”
“Wow, I can totally picture that.”
Yangyang doesn’t really talk much while eating, Renjun too, so they ate in silence. Leon went off to the bedroom to nap. They fed him before eating, themselves. Renjun chews with his mouth closed, and he looks really cute with his cheeks puffed up because he put a huge amount of rice in his mouth. It’s kind of weird being instantly friends with someone, especially his neighbor. Renjun matched his energy well, and he isn’t all that adorable when he opens his mouth. He spouts bullshit sometimes and jokingly flirts with him too. Renjun is his neighbor to the right who happens to be an adorable, snarky but charming, and cat loving art student.
Bowls of rice and two plastic containers now sit on the drying rack. Yangyang sat on the edge of the couch with one leg up the armrest, satisfied. The last homemade meal he ate was Ten’s cooking on the night before he moved, so Yangyang felt grateful. Renjun told him to stop feeling bad and that he understood that moving is not a smooth process.
He looked up from his phone and said. “You know you could just knock and like I’ll let you in to see Leon.”
“Really?” He said with a mouthful of chocolate. His eyes reflected the light from the lamp, making it look like they’re shining.
“Yeah, I mean.” Leon curled on Renjun’s lap, purring as he received rubs. “Look at you.”
Renjun sat cross legged on the other side of the couch. He switched out of the shorts and thin shirt he wore while gardening in the afternoon for plaid pajama pants and an old high school hoodie. And his glasses, His half rimmed glasses perched on his thin nose. Renjun looked comfortable and at home as he dotted on Leon.
Yangyang wished he could take a photo.
“Thanks, because I will jump from my balcony and smash your doors if you said no.”
“Like all for my cat?”
His stare bore into Yangyang’s eyes. “All for your cat.”
“Damn you love cats.”
“Meow meow, bitch.”
“Are you sure you’re not just like pouring your feline frustrations on my cat?”
“Dude, I’m not a furry.” Yangyang just shrugged in reply. “But I assure you, I look great in cat ears.”
“Oh my god, get out.”
---
“He said that?” Dejun yelled through the phone.
“Yes.”
“And? Anything else?”
“Nothing we just chilled and the he helped me put my sheets on.”
“Nothing happened with the sheets?”
“What do you mean? Like I guess it got wrinkled when I woke up in the morning, it smells nice I washed them yesterday.”
“You’re hopeless.”
“Thanks, also tell Dery I cleaned the apartment.”
“Will do, I guess it’s a good thing you have friends other than us.”
“I met the dude yesterday.”
“He helped you put your sheets on, saw your dumpster desk-“
“Hey! What dumpster desk?”
“- And looked after your cat. Twice.”
“So?”
“You don’t even trust Dery with Leon.”
“Dude, he uses Leon to take thirst trap pics of him.”
“I know he sends them to me.”
“Oh my god, y’all are disgusting.”
“Like I said, you don’t have any friends besides us. Don’t you like people with glasses and cat boy tendencies?”
“Don’t you?”
“This is about you, Yangnyam.”
“Oh my god, we don’t talk about that!”
“See where your friendship takes you?”
“Fine, come here tomorrow and bring food.”
---
September came with downpour, but not as much as the yesterday. The weather isn’t the worst. There was drizzle here and there, but it was cold enough for Yangyang to start trading his hoodies for thicker outerwear. It is Thursday and he’s off to walk to university, which is three blocks away. He was about to press an elevator button and close the doors when Renjun came dashing inside.
“Hey.”
“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Did you eat breakfast?”
“No, you?”
“Gonna buy a sandwich.”
Renjun hummed in reply. “I don’t remember catching you here the past few weeks.”
“Oh, I left early today.”
The door opened to the lobby and they stepped out. Yangyang held the door out the building for the two of them. They have over thirty minutes before their lectures, so didn’t have to rush. They brought out their own umbrellas. Renjun adjusted his red scarf. He dressed warmly today, wearing a huge knitted sweater, jeans, red Converse, and a red beanie to match.
And of course, his half rimmed glasses.
They made small talk about Leon, asshole group mates, and the couple staring at them because they conversed in Mandarin.
“I swear Leon misses me.”
“I’ll open the slides next time, or just knock so I won’t have to worry about my cat possibly falling five floors down.”
“Aren’t you busy with that paper you we’re talking about earlier.”
“I could use a distraction, I swear a cat helps.”
“I’m so jealous.”
They went in the store. Yangyang went to the aisle where the sandwiches are found. He showed Renjun a club sandwich and got a nod in reply. Renjun insisted and paying for his half, rummaging through his sachel for his wallet, but Yangyang already paid for the sandwiches and cans of coffee. He told him to not worry about it and Yangyang was just paying his dinner debt. They couldn’t stay too long in the convenience store, so they went out right away.
Yangyang opened both cans of coffee because Renjun’s nails are too short.
“Isn’t there an unspoken rule about wearing neutral tones during fall?”
“It isn’t fall yet, September literally just began.”
“Yes, but bright orange? It hurts my fucking eyes. You look like a traffic enforcer.”
“Then let’s gouge out your eye balls.”
“Mean.”
It wasn’t even that bad, Yangyang was just wearing his neon orange Nike backpack to match his shoes. The rest of his clothes are black. He isn’t wearing a scarf and a beanie like Renjun, he’s good with cold weather.
“You’re just saying that because you think I look fine as heck.”
“I still think I look better than you.”
“Sure you do babe, especially with those glasses.”
His face heated up, so Yangyang took the opportunity to rearrange Renjun’s scarf, covering half of his face. He said “You must be cold, there you go.” and walked four steps ahead of him.
He deadass didn’t know where that came from. Maybe he’s been watching too many dramas.
“Hey! Wait up you dipshit! It’s fucking raining!”
---
Dejjun calls them exasperating, saying that Yangyang could’ve skipped several steps of development if he just asked him if he’s single or not. So him and Guanheng called for an intervention.
Now, the three of them sat on a table in the café Renjun works at. Thankfully, Renjun hadn’t noticed them, yet.
Guanheng stood up to order for the rest of them, walking to the counter where Renjun was taking orders. Yangyang could see him talking to Renjun, probably something unrelated to the milk tea he told Guanheng to buy. He must have told something funny, because they both started laughing. Renjun nodded and Guanheng pointed at his direction.
Renjun met his eyes and smirked as he waved at him.
He had no choice but to wave back and smile, as he remembered The Penguins of Madagascar. He sank into his chair as Guanheng finally went back into their table.
“Dude, what the fuck did you do?”
“I told him to act like he’s laughing when I point at you.”
“Annoying.”
Dejun opened his laptop and squinted at the screen. “Okay, you two need to quiet down and let me do my work.” He looked at Guanheng and said something in Cantonese. He could understand to gist of their conversation, but they spoke rapidly so he isn’t sure.
“Come on guys I’m literally right here.”
“And your order is right here,” someone spoke behind him. Yangyang whipped his head to see Renjun setting a tray on their table.
“But we didn’t order cake?”
“No it’s on me,” Renjun said as he set a cup of milk tea in front of him. “It’s nice to meet you Guanheng and Guanheng’s boyfriend.”
“Call me Dejun.”
“Nice to meet you, Dejun.”
“Likewise.”
Renjun placed a wad of tissue under the side of the plate of chocolate cake. “I’ll be going now,” he bowed a little towards Guanheng and Dejun. “It’s nice to see you here Yangie," he poked Yangyang’s side.
“Good luck at work and thanks for the cake.”
He raised his right hand for a wave with his back turned as he went back to the counter.
“You know,” Dejun took a piece of cake, “I understand now, he’s like so pretty.”
“Pretty, gay, and single,” Guanheng said with a mouthful of cake.
“What the fuck do you mean?”
“I mean you have a shot, idiot.”
“Like you call him babe,” Dejun added, “and look at your cup.”
On his large plastic cup of earl grey milk tea, “YANGNYAM” was written with a black marker under a doodle of him with cat ears on. He shouldn’t feel this giddy over knowing that one of his friends is single and possibly a cat boy enthusiast.
“You did not just fucking tell him about last year.”
The doodled cup was thoroughly washed and now holds Yangyang’s favorite pens. It sits on his not so dumpster desk along with his Funko Pop collection.
---
Yangyang would say that he and Renjun are close friends. It’s weird looking at Renjun’s repost of a friend’s story of him baking a cake with chocolate smeared on his cheek posted on his stories, when all he posts are aesthetic photos of streets, coffee, and sunsets. Then he noticed the green rectangle on the right corner of his screen.
Close friends.
They became mutuals not long ago. Renjun asked for his Instagram and Snapchat handle so he could tag him in his stories with Leon whenever he came over to play with his cat. Yangyang would have asked asked for his Twitter handle too, but he forgot. Renjun gave him his phone number and a winking cat emoji is placed next to his full name in Chinese characters.
They don’t really interact in social media as much as they do in person. On Thursdays, the come to university together. During free days, they find each other in their respective balconies, Yangyang doing his laundry while Renjun tends to his garden. They eat dinner together sometimes, especially whenever Renjun cooks too much for a single person. And Yangyang repays him by making him try some of the basic recipes he learned online.
Maybe he’s getting his shit together just fine.
This time, Yangyang adds Renjun to his close friends list on Instagram and uploads a picture of Leon.
Minutes later Renjun replies to his story.
‘can i see leon :<’
Yangyang snaps a close up photo of Leon and sends it to him, but he figured why not call him?
So he called on Instagram.
“What’s up? It’s late.”
Yangyang turned on his camera, and Renjun did too.
“Oh, did I bother you?”
“Nope I was just watching anime, you?”
“Finishing a plate.”
“Second dinner? What did you cook?”
“No, I’m doing art student shit.”
“Hold on,” Yangyang noticed his eyes, “were you crying?”
“No,” Renjun wiped his tears. “No, can I see Leon?”
Leon was seated on his lap, looking up to meet his eyes. It’s like he could understand.
“Want me to drop him off at yours?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, hold on. I’m gonna hang up.”
“Bye.”
Yangyang lifted Leon, went out the door into the hallway, and padded to Renjun’s door in slippers. He knocked once and the door opened immediately.
“Hey.”
Renjun’s eyes were red and dry, and his face is all puffed up. His platinum hair, stuck up in all directions. “Come in, I know I look like shit.”
“I brought Leon,” he notices the colored pencils and fancy looking paper on the coffee table. One is ripped, one is pencil sketched then thoroughly erased, and several are crumpled and scattered. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
He doesn’t say anything and hands him Leon. He knew that he was doing something for a course and got frustrated. Yangyang doesn’t know shit about art despite owning several classical art graphic tees and Mona Lisa hoodies, but he knows that art isn’t just as simple as visualizing something then creating it.
Renjun thrives in art, Yangyang is damn sure of it. He saw all the canvases that lined the walls and the last plate he was working on. Renjun needs to give himself some more credit.
He watched him play with the cat for a while. Well he did say that he was just going to drop off Leon so he headed to the door.
“Yangyang.”
He stops on his tracks and turns aroud to face Renjun. “Hm?”
“I’m going to be very selfish right now.”
“What do you mean?”
The volume of their voices matched each other’s, hushed and low. Renjun’s eyes refused to meet his. He wiped his sweaty palms on the fabric of his shorts, waiting.
“Can I get a hug?”
Yangyang held his breath until he physically can’t. He nodded and walked towards Renjun but stopped when he was at an arm’s length. He wanted to speak up but he ended up stammering. How the fuck do you give hugs again? So Yangyang just stood there with his arms awkwardly open. For the first time that night, Renjun met his gaze.
“You look so fucking stupid.” Arms slowly encircled his neck. He hooked his chin over his shoulders and muttered “Thanks.”
His waist is tiny, yet his arms are strong enough to crush him. Renjun giggled as he cried, whispering “Sorry” against his neck. Tears trailed from his neck down to his back, and in different circumstances he would have bolted out the door in disgust.
But he is Huang Renjun.
“Don’t be.”
Yangyang has no idea what the fuck exactly Renjun is dealing with right now. Pacifying him with words of encouragement would be a bad path to take. If only Renjun would tell him, but Yangyang is only his neighbor or a friend who happens to own a cat. He has no rights to say anything.
He indulged himself in holding the other close, close enough to feel pressure on his chest. And if Renjun thought that he is selfish, then what would be the appropriate adjective to describe what Yangyang feels right now?
Yangyang reached up to card his hand through Renjun’s hair, and he broke into a sob.
“Come on, you’re tired.” He loosened his grip on the boy, holding on to both of his wrists. “Let’s get you to bed?”
He only nodded for a reply. Renjun went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and freshen up. Yangyang stayed at the living room to tidy up a little bit, smoothening the crinkles on the papers and stacking them on a neat pile. He placed the colored pencils neatly inside the tin container. Leon pawed at his legs.
“You’re staying here for tonight, I guess.”
Leon meowed in reply.
“Let me help you.”
“No.”
“Go to bed," he pushed him towards his bedroom with Leon following after them.
“Alright don’t push me.”
Renjun flopped into his bed and held the hem of his blanket to his neck. “Satisfied?”
“You’re missing something.”
“What?”
Yangyang lifted Leon and placed him next to Renjun on the bed. “There you go. I swear he bathed today.”
“Yeah it’s okay.”
His eyes are getting heavy and Leon snuggled to him. Yangyang saw the time on the clock and Renjun must have noticed too.
“It’s late.”
“Yeah.”
Yangyang gave him a small smile and walked backwards towards the door, “I’m going.”
“I kept you up, sorry.”
“I don’t have classes in the morning, I’m staying up regardless.”
“You should sleep too.”
“I don’t know man, but Jojo.”
“Get out and close the lights,” he giggled. “You’re unfair.”
“Gute Nacht, schatzi.”
“I swear you just said something bad.”
“Nah.”
“Good night Yangie.”
They held eye contact, with Renjun blinking slowly. Yangyang smiled for the last time with his fingers against the light switch.
He slept right away that night, not bothering to finish the episode of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures. Josuke could wait. He felt that the development Dejun was waiting for finally happened.
---
Renjun returns Leon the next day along with a paper bag of pastries and a cup of coffee from the café he works at.
“You didn’t have to.”
“You own my emotional support cat.”
“But-“ He cuts him off.
“I’m sorry,” he gave him a smile but it isn’t like the one last night or the nights before. “Thank you, you’re the best.”
---
Renjun seems to be avoiding Yangyang. Two Thursdays passed without a sign of him. He could knock on his door and demand for an explanation on why he is being ghosted, but that would be rude. Besides, his Instagram stories tell him that he is doing just fine.
Yangyang had no choice but to let him be. He busied himself on schoolwork and revising his research paper with his group mates. Thankfully his group mates got their heads out of their asses and finally helped him with the paper. He almost reposted a Tiktok video of one of his group mated flexing his fake drip with a callout for not being active in their group chat. Yangyang went to their meeting in full streetwear that day. His apartment is holding out okay, Dejun got him a new plant because his one shot at a love life is lost. His plant sits on the balcony with the doors always locked, leaving Leon stuck in his apartment.
He spent lunch on his birthday in his brother’s apartment with Ten and Kun. It’s been a while since he saw them, so when he took a bite of Kun’s steamed fish he almost cried. Ten joked that he could move back with him if he wanted to, but he knew that Ten and Kun were preparing to move in together. So he boasted that he could cook proper meals and maintain his home by himself now. Despite his brother’s claims that he is still a baby, they both knew that they are growing up. Ten graduated last year and Yangyang is attending university and now living on his own.
“So what do you want for your birthday?”
“Would you buy me car?”
“You could ask mom, have you talked to them?”
“Yeah, they are really excited for December.”
“I’m sorry I can’t come with you.”
“Nah its fine, I hope you piss your pants meeting Kun ge’s parents.”
“You little bitch!”
For dinner he went out with Guanheng, Dejun, and Xuxi for karaoke. Replay by Shinee was blasting inside the booth when Guanheng nudged him with his elbow.
“You’re waiting for something.”
“Someone,” Dejun said.
“Oh the hot neighbor, what’s his name?” Xuxi said into the microphone he was holding.
“Huang Renjun.”
“I know him! Cool dude, he’s close with Winwin,” he said while dancing the choreography.
“Bro he has the same surname as us.”
“Yeah.”
Guanheng and Xuxi thankfully got distracted and started yelling into the mic, but Dejun won’t let him off the hook that quickly.
“Won’t he greet you on your special day?”
“Dude, I don’t even know if he knows it’s my birthday today.”
Renjun isn’t obliged to greet him, but it won’t hurt to hope a little bit, right? Sure, they are friends on Facebook and he would have gotten a notification for Yangyang’s birthday. But who the fuck checks Facebook anyways?
“He follows me on Instagram, so tonight we are going to have fun and flood everyone’s stories for Liu Yangyang birthday bash.”
“Yeah! You a bad bitch and it’s your birthday! G’on ahead and fuck it up in the worst way!”
“Oh my god.”
“Dude is that song on the song book?”
He ended up with ice cream on his nose, Dejun being caked in the face, and Guanheng and Xuxi being so trashed. They had to call Sicheng to pick Xuxi up.
“Are you okay going home alone?” Dejun hauled Guanheng inside a cab.
“I didn’t drink that much, besides the building is like right there.”
“Fine, text me when you get home.”
“Sure mom.”
“I’m cancelling the bag I ordered for you.”
“No you won’t!” he yelled with his back turned against them and started running.
He slowed down when he they were out of sight. Yangyang pulled out his phone from his pocket and scrolled through Instagram as he walked down the street. They did spam the feed and stories with photos and videos of him. Xuxi uploaded blurry photos of them from earlier. He cringed as he watched the video of him dancing to Birthday Bitch. Ten posted a photo of him from his puberty stage, while Dejun posted the photo of him from last year’s Halloween.
He quickly sent Dejun a text.
‘you bitch’
‘Happy 21st, Yangnyam <3’
Kun and Sicheng posted decent selfies. And still no sign from Renjun. Even Renjun’s friends greeted him, Mark Lee dmed him 'Happy birthday bro ahaha' earlier.
He jammed his Airpods in and played ASTROWORLD as he walked home to his apartment. When he arrived, he texted Dejun that he is safe. He went out of the elevator into the hallway of his floor, fumbling with his keys to open the door. The door finally opened after four keys. He was struggling to untie his laces when he noticed it.
A white card next to his left foot, and it was flipped upside down. Maybe someone slipped it under his door. He had an idea on what it is because of the ink that seeped into the backside. There was no signature, nor name of the sender, but he knew who it was from.
His heart grew heavy on his chest. Anticipation? Mild hurt? Definitely confusion.
Is this an unspoken apology? Like who and why would someone send him a card with a drawing of himself after avoiding him for weeks?
Oh he definitely saw Dejun’s post about Yangyang.
---
Their research paper was finally defended and he took some work early so he won’t be catching up on much when he returns next year. Yangyang wanted to finish everything as soon as possible so he can head straight to Germany for the holidays, finally coming home to his parents. However, Ten chose to spend the holidays in China with his boyfriend’s family. So he would have to travel alone. His flight was booked since September and everything was set.
Except his luggage.
Okay, also no one can look after Leon for a month.
Ten and Kun will be in China, so they’re off the list. Dejun and Guanheng’s apartment doesn’t allow pets. Xuxi has a dog, and Sicheng will visit his sister in New Zealand. He would ask his blockmates, but he doesn’t trust them enough.
Maybe Renjun would be willing to take care of Leon for a while because despite not talking to each other, he still reacts to his stories and posts. But they haven’t spoken to each other past small talk when he needs to hang clothes on the balcony, and it gets really awkward.
Yangyang has no idea what the fuck happened between them and it has been two months. He thought that he could apologize to him, but doesn’t even know what to apologize for. He can’t even thank Renjun for the birthday card, but he thinks that Renjun didn’t write his name there for a reason. Like there has to be one right? But it’s too late to ask, it has been months since they last talked to each other properly and Yangyang was too busy with academics to feel hurt and confused.
Leon still doesn’t have someone to look after him and Yangyang is leaving on Monday, which is three days from now. So, that’s gonna be a problem.
He went to the convenience store to buy some essentials. He bought Korean snacks for his family and for him to eat on the plane, a new toothbrush, sanitizer, wipes, and some other toiletries. The elevator of the building is under maintenance so he took the stairs, but not before noticing the two large grocery bags on the first few steps. He went up and saw Renjun on the second flight of stairs with two large bags in hand.
It’s been a while. His fingers wrapped tightly on the plastic, panting from the trip up the stairs. He wore the white and brown uniform for his job as a barista. His brown roots are visible now that his hair grew longer. It feels weird looking at him now and not just through his Ig feed on a screen.
“So those were yours.”
He froze mid step and looked back to where Yangyang was standing behind him. “A bad day for the elevator to be broken.”
“Need a hand?”
“Please.”
Yangyang reached for one of the bags he was holding and held it against his chest. They climbed up to the fifth floor with only the tinkling of Yangyang’s keys, the shuffling of plastic, and the skidding of their shoes were heard. Renjun opened the door and led him to the kitchen.
“Your other bags are downstairs.”
“Yeah.”
Going down consumed less energy so they were there right away, but the air seems denser now that no one’s talking.
“You know I could have carried these up by myself.” Renjun broke the silence and showed him the contents of the bags, which are snacks and detergent.
“But I’m here anyway and I don’t wanna feel useless.”
“Fine," he hands Yangyang the lighter bag, “you bring the snacks.”
“Sure.”
They reached the third flight of stairs when Renjun spoke up, “You look healthier.”
“Thanks, I’ve been catching up on sleep. You got home from work?”
“Yeah, decided to stop by the supermarket.”
“I’m guessing this is for the month?”
“I’m not going home for the holidays.”
“Will you be alone?”
“My cousin will celebrate with me, and maybe Hyuck and the others will come.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“Yeah.”
Renjun opened the door with his free hand and entered the apartment with Yangyang following. He offered to help him sort out the goods.
“You?”
“What?”
“Do you have plans for the holidays?”
“I’m going home.”
“To Taiwan?”
“Germany.”
“When?”
“On Monday.”
“Oh, that’s in three days.”
“Yeah.”
“For how long.”
“A month, till January.”
“That’s long.”
“Which brings me to my problem.” Renjun looks at him with anticipation, he stilled from putting bacon in his freezer. “I don’t know who’ll look after Leon for a month.”
“Oh,” Renjun exhaled, he must have been expecting something else.
Yangayng busied himself with stocking up the cupboards. Hopefully Renjun will get the message and offer to look after his cat, and Yangyang is hoping that he wouldn’t have to ask him himself. He heard Renjun close the fridge from behind him.
“I’ll look after him.”
Yangyang whipped his head back, “Really?”
“Yeah it’s no big deal, and my friends would love him too.”
“Surely Jeno would love it.”
“Yeah.”
He closed the cabinet and leaned on the counter, fiddling with the plastic bags and folding then into small triangles. He feels Renjun’s eyes on him and he looked like he has something to say. So Yangyang waited.
Four plastic triangles were finished and Renjun still hasn’t said a word. Yangyang is growing impatient, he looked straight at him. “Aren’t you gonna say something?” he asked.
“What? No,” Renjun was baffled at the statement.
“Did I do something wr – “
He interrupted him saying “No, we-” Renjun stammered, “we’re cool.”
“We’re good?”
He closed his mouth to contemplate on what to say, and when he looked determined enough to speak, he slowly let his hand down with a ragged exhale, like it pained him to breathe. “I guess.”
Well that’s that. Maybe today isn’t the day.
“Okay, I’ll drop Leon off on Monday after lunch.”
“Okay,” He paused. “Thanks for helping me with the grocery.”
“No problem.”
“Hey Yangyang?” He stops right before opening the door and hums with his back turned against him. “It was nice to see you again.”
He looked back at him and forced a smile, “Likewise.” Then he went out the door and stormed off into his unit.
It frustrates him how Renjun won’t say shit and he can’t do anything but let him be and wait. He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for, and it hurts to expect for something you don’t even know exists. But it’s clearly there. It’s the thickness of the air that surrounded them earlier, the sentences cut, and the filtered words. Many things were left unsaid. Renjun chose to avoid it, while Yangyang lacked the courage to ask. He wanted to blame Renjun for avoiding him without an explanation and insisting that there’s nothing wrong, but it’s partly his fault too. If only he knocked on unit D on the night of his birthday and prodded for answers. That could have been his chance.
Yangyang decided that he’ll give him a month. What will happen after? He doesn’t know.
For now, he needs to pack his bags. He lazily attempted to stuff his clothes into his luggage and sent Kun a photo of it. An hour later, Ten and Kun arrived with an exasperated looks on their faces.
“This is the last time I’ll be doing this for you,” Kun said as he sat on Yangyang’s luggage, zipping it closed.
“Ain’t I your baby?”
“Please, Louis is our baby.”
“Speaking of cats, who will look after Leon? Because we’ll be leaving Louis at Taeyong’s.” Leon was laying on Ten’s stomach as he was getting petted. The both of them lay on the couch as Yangyang played games on his console.
“Renjun.”
“Ah the cute neighbour you have a crush on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well don’t be sad, you’ll see him again.”
“You still have Pooh?” Ten yelled.
He just shrugged in reply.
---
Monday came and he has Leon’s things in a bag to bring over to unit D. The cat perched on his shoulder as he knocked on the door.
“Hey.” The door opened to Renjun still in his pajamas, with a hairband on his head. “You’re here.”
“Yeah, dropping him off,” he dropped Leon’s bag near the shoe rack and handed the cat to him, “you remember right?”
“Of course.”
“Nice.”
He just stood there leaning on the door frame, and the other did too. Renjun knew that this is it.
“We’re talking when I get back.” He nodded. “And you won’t avoid me.”
“I know.”
“So I’ll give you a month to compose yourself.”
“Thank you.”
“You won’t avoid my messages?”
“I mean, I’m Leon’s temporary father for Christmas," he chuckled.
Yangyang fiddled with the hem of his hoodie, he hadn’t heard that laugh in months. “You got that right,” so he smiled widely. “Goodbye Renjun, see you next year.”
“Enjoy your trip.”
He held his hand up for a wave and walked away. He went to his unit to sleep for a few hours, before being woken up by Kun for supper.
---
Kun and Ten will be accompanying him to the airport. Before they leave Yangyang’s apartment Kun made sure that he didn’t forget anything, but Yangyang showed him the contents of his backpack and swore he didn’t touch what Kun packed for him the other day. His phone, passport, and ticket are safe inside his backpack.
It’s nine in the evening and his flight to Dubai is ten minutes before midnight. He took one last look at the hallway before entering the elevator.
Goodbye for now.
He can’t believe Ten is energetic at this hour, like he didn’t teach a dance class in the afternoon. He bickered with a grouchy Kun, who just got off from grad school. He chose to nap for a few minutes before they arrive at the airport. Thankfully, they volunteered to wait for his flight with him. Kun let him lean his head on his shoulders and catch on some sleep, they knew he can’t sleep much on planes.
He was then woken up for food, which is waffles and coffee in Starbucks. They enjoyed their meal in contentment. Yangyang scrolled through his social media, not much is happening at the moment. His friends are probably in bed by now, watching anime or playing games. His cat is probably snuggled into the crook of Renjun’s neck, like Leon likes to do with him.
He will miss Leon, and he won’t be seeing Nian Nian this year too, because the dog is left in Taiwan. But he’s happy that he’ll get to see his sister and parents. It’s just sad that Ten won’t be able to join him this year. His father wanted to celebrate the holidays in Europe this year instead of Taipei, so their parents flew there earlier. His sister lives in England, so maybe when he arrives she’ll already be there. Ten promised their mother that he will visit them in Taiwan during summer next year.
Going back to Germany after two years is exciting. He and Ten moved to Korea to study in 2016, with Ten entering university and him starting eleventh grade. He only sees his parents on occasions or when he comes to Taiwan, but rarely his sister, who decided to stay in Europe.
They finished eating and Yangyang passed time by downloading more anime and movies on Netflix, so he can entertain himself on the plane.
When it was time to go, he gave his goodbyes.
“Be careful and don’t be an inconvenience to the other passengers okay?”
“Oh my god I’m literally twenty one.”
“I know, but still you’re flying alone.”
“Yeah, I’ll be careful.”
“Have a safe flight!”
“Remember your flight details and don’t get lost!”
Yangyang got through with a smooth process and finally boarded the plane. He won’t be sleeping anytime soon, he was still jittery from the coffee he drank earlier. When the plane safely took off and electronic devices are allowed, he whipped out his Ipad and entertained himself. It was four in the morning when he finished eleven episodes of Black Clover. The woman and her daughter next to him were sleeping soundly. He looked around to see a few people with light from screens illuminating their faces. Yangyang thought about what he could do with a five hour layover in Dubai. He can’t do that much, so he’ll probably just go around the airport and rest. He’ll do what he wants next time on his flight back home, which has a ten hour layover. He continued the anime he was watching, he’ll arrive in U.A.E. on ten o’clock in the morning KST.
Of course he wore his best, because airport fashion is a must. Yangyang wore cargo pants, a shirt and a cool denim jacket Taeyong customized for him. He made Ten take pictures of him earlier at the airport. But after ten hours, surely you won’t be at your best. Maybe he’ll take a shower in the airport lounge, because he would actually pay to have a decent shower later. Yangyang isn’t too fond of free public bathrooms. He watched anime and took short naps. Maybe he could finish the first season of Black Clover at the airport.
He arrived at the Dubai International Airport right before sunrise.
He got out of the plane and through security feeling the shittiest, he didn’t sleep that well, he wants lunch, and needs a shower. Asking for directions weren’t that hard because he speaks English. He got to the health and wellness facilities and got a shower only package, retrieving his clothes and toiletries from his backpack and got to business.
Yangyang finished putting a fresh set of clothes on and placed his used clothes in a plastic bag and into his luggage. His backpack is now fairly lighter. Scared of losing his things, he almost ties the handle of his suitcase to his wrists. That would be weird though, he’d look suspicious and catch the attention of the airport security. He went to an area abundant of food chains and ate at a burger joint. It should be noon in Korea, while it is seven in the morning here. He has three hours to spare before he leaves on ten o’clock am. He set an alarm for two and a half hours.
He uploaded the photos Ten took of him yesterday and snapped a photo of the airport for his Ig story. Guanheng was surprised that he's in Dubai right now, so he replied ‘layover :]’ to his comment. Renjun posted a story of him playing with Leon using a string. Leon was jumpy like always. He found himself smiling at his screen and ate in peace.
He approached a friendly looking waiter asked him to take picture of him. Yangyang wore ripped skinny jeans and a shirt tucked in, completing his outfit with jewelry and ditched the jacket. The waiter enjoyed playing as a photographer and took a lot of good photos. He offered a tip but the waiter refused to take it.
Yangyang found himself in a rest area and watched anime until it was time for him to leave, deciding that spending money on that shower was enough and that he will enjoy the city when he returns next time.
---
Black Clover’s first season is okay, it has common shounen tropes but it isn’t bad like most people say. Yangyang was halfway through the seven hour flight to Dusseldorf when he felt fatigue. He ate his dinner with a bad appetite. He felt little nauseous from watching Into The Spiderverse for a millionth time. Only four hours left till he can crash on a proper bed.
The sun was up in the sky, however it’s still freezing. His sister welcomed him with a tight hug, and his shitty dinner threatened to spill out of him. It’s two in the afternoon but it is winter, Yangyang put on more layers. He is excited to see them all, but he needs to pass out first.
Home, he’s finally home.
His mother prepared hot soup for him, instantly making him feel a lot less shittier. Yangyang almost cried when his mother caressed his hair. His father and grandmother were out in the market, so he spent the rest of his day in his room sleeping after a hot shower.
---
Not much changed in his childhood home, it was well maintained by his aunt. It feels nostalgic looking back at when he was eleven and newly settled in the country, not knowing the language his classmates speak. Everything was still there. His photos were framed and posters lined the navy walls. His Hot Wheels collection is neatly placed on the shelves, along with his trophy for winning a street dance competition, and even the movies he used to watch before bed.
His grandmother still cooks better than everyone else. She cooked up a fusion of Chinese and European cuisine after Yangyang fully recovered his energy. As a family, they went to Rheinuferpromenade and enjoyed the riverside. He just wishes that Ten were there with them
He kept in touch with his high school friends and went around doing what they used to do back in their teens, the only difference is now they can drink legally. He took a lot of photos to post on social media and hopefully catch Renjun’s attention.
Although they had been sending each other messages and Renjun updates him on Leon, they could barely catch each other online with Seoul being eight hours ahead of Dusseldorf. Renjun took shifts in the café for the break and he had been working hard. Yangyang thought of what to give him for Christmas.
He was walking around Konigsallee with his sister when he saw it.
“Don’t you think that’s too much?” His sister was already having it wrapped, it’s too late to be backing out now.
“You stopped dead on your tracks earlier, looking at it through the window.”
“I mean sure, but do you think he’d like it?”
“You have good taste, unless you want to buy him something bulky and overpriced at the Dubai Mall.”
Yangyang swiped his card and placed the box in his bag, keeping it safe.
“Hey can we go to Kunstpalast tomorrow?”
“I thought you wanted to go to Classic Remise?”
“We can go there next time.”
“But we’re heading east next week.”
“It’s okay.”
“You don’t know anything about art,” his sister raised her eyebrow at him.
“I wanna go in memory of Ten.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Remember the PS Ich liebe Dich exhibition three years ago?”
They went to the museum the next day. Yangyang tried his best to understand the guide. He sent photos to Ten and he got a picture of sweet and sour chicken in return.
Renjun was luckily awake and replied with a lot of crying emojis, saying that he hopes to go around Europe to visit museums too. Yangyang thought, maybe someday, but it still depends on what happens on January.
He bought two postcards as a souvenir.
---
His bag of souvenirs grew heavier as they spent a few days traveling through The Netherlands, then Brussels, and Paris. They also went to visit his sister’s house in London and spent two nights there, before heading back to Germany for Christmas Eve.
At three o’clock pm, Kun and Ten Facetimed them all.
“Merry Christmas everyone!”
“Merry Christmas Kun!”
“Hey! What about me I am your son.”
“Come visit in the summer you promised right?”
“Yes we will.”
Apparently they got engaged on Christmas Eve, and everyone was ecstatic for them. Kun and his brother cried with joy as they announced their engagement to both of their families. They finally did it after five years of dating and a much longer time of knowing each other.
At four in the afternoon his phone blared with notifications.
“Dude, Merry Christmas!”
“You guys are together?”
“Yeah and you’re in Europe.”
Guanheng, Dejun, and Xuxi tried their best to fit their faces on the screen. He recognized the background and figured that they are in Guanheng and Dejun’s apartment.
“Come home soon! We miss you!”
“Yeah!”
“I haven’t bought the shoes you want yet.”
“Aww.”
“What time is it there?”
“Like four in the afternoon, yesterday for you.”
“That’s so cool.”
“For real.”
“We miss you Yangyang!”
“Wish you the best!”
“Greet us when you catch up on Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!”
He received numerous greetings from his friends and blockmates, but there was one message he was waiting for.
'call me when you see this’
So he called.
“Hi.”
Renjun’s faced showed up on screen, he was wearing a red sweater and was laying on his bed. He noticed that his hair is now brown and he’s wearing his glasses.“Hey,” he replied and brought Leon in frame and waved his paws.
“Oh my god, I missed you so much.” They both froze when they realized what Yangyang said. The cat or the boy? Way to be awkward right away. “Merry Christmas!”
“Happy Christmas Eve! I was trying to call you earlier but I think you were in another call.”
“Yeah with Dejun and the others.” He remembered that Renjun’s cousin was over for Christmas. “You alone?”
“Chenle slept right away after the countdown.” He looked to the side, “It’s four thirteen pm. There right?”
“Yeah, we’ll get into the Christmas spirit later.”
“Call me when it’s Christmas there.”
“Won’t I bother you?”
“Nah, just call.” Leon snuggled against his neck. “Tell me about Europe.”
They talked until Renjun fell asleep with Leon in his arms. He fell asleep with his glasses on. Yangyang kind of wished he could take it off for him. He ended the call right away because prolonging it would be weird and creepy, and his sister was yelling at him because he locked himself up in his room for too long.
He swore he gained weight from eating. His grandmother insisted on feeding him more because the food here is much better than the meals he makes himself, and who was he to fight on that? Yangyang ate too much but he’s gonna worry about that tomorrow.
They all gathered in the living room after dinner to bring out the presents. They don’t really have children in their family, and the youngest is his cousin Alex, who is four years younger than him. He received a check from his parents, earrings from his sister, and cash from his other relatives. His grandmother gave him a wallet with a red envelope inside to be opened for the New Year, along with a stuffed bunny to replace his decade and a half old Pooh bear. It’s a nice addition to his plushie collection, but it will never give him security like Pooh does.
When the elders left, only him and Alex remained. They watched Corpse Bride, which isn’t really fitting for the occasion.
“Are you sure I could come with you to Korea?” He will be moving back to Korea to his mother, and his father will follow him months after.
“Of course.” Yangyang’s uncle asked him to accompany Alex back to Korea since he’s still a minor. He’s a cool kid and it would be nice to have company for thirty hours. “Besides, I need someone to take pictures of me,” he smirked at his cousin.
Alex just rolled his eyes and focused on the movie.
They were on the middle of watching Klaus when Yangyang’s alarm went off.
“Oh, it’s Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, hyung.”
“Merry Christmas,” he stood up and dusted the cookie crumbs off his pajamas.
“You sleeping already?”
“No, I’m just gonna make a call,” Yangyang headed towards his room, “I’ll be back.”
He flopped into his bed and hugged his two stuffed animals close to his chest and sent Renjun a message.
‘you up?’
‘yeah, call me.’
Renjun picked up before the second ring and turned on his camera right away. “Guten Morgen.”
“That’s good morning right?” He set his phone on the table and showed off his breakfast. “Guten Morgen, Yangie. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” Yangyang laid on his side with his phone on the bed. “You went to the café?”
“Yeah got some breakfast for Chenle, he begged me for something sweet,” Renjun showed a piece of pancake to the camera, “you want some?”
“No thanks,” he refused like he could actually eat it through the screen. “I feel like I’m gonna be sick to the stomach tomorrow.”
“Aww," he chewed on his pancake. “What’s ‘Merry Christmas’ in German?”
“Frohes Fest.”
“Really? Well, Frohes Fest Yangie!”
“Frohe Weihnachten, schatzi.”
“You called me that again,” Renjun said, frowning.
“What?”
“Schatzi, what does it mean?” Yangyang just shrugged. “I mean I could search it up, but I don’t know how the fuck it’s spelled.”
Yangyang burst out a giggle. “Then it’s your loss.”
“Damn, I shouldn’t have bought you a present.”
“Funny, because you won’t be receiving yours.”
“Wait really?”
“What really?”
“You bought me something?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t have too, I should be the one to-“ he cut himself off.
“You should be the one to what?”
“Nothing, you'll know when you come back.”
“Oh, okay.”
They just stared at each other through the screen. Renjun wasn’t wearing glasses today, maybe he has contacts on. He has a knitted cardigan on.
“Where’s Leon?”
“He’s on the bed sleeping.”
“Chenle?”
“Out with a friend.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah, huh. I think they’re dating.”
“Sounds sus.”
“Right, like who the fuck wakes up at seven just to meet someone on a holiday?”
“What time is it there?”
“Like eight fifteen more or less?”
“Then what are you doing awake on a holiday morning and talking to me?”
“I just…” he jammed his fork into the stack of dessert, “You infuriate me.”
“Caught you there didn’t I? Just say you miss me too and go.”
“Okay," he sighed. “I miss you, Yangyang.” Then Renjun abruptly ended the call. Yangyang stilled for a moment and giggled by himself. He messaged Renjun.
‘I didn’t mean the go part lol’
‘go away do your european xmas things’ Renjun replied.
‘rude'
Renjun didn’t reply afterwards, so he went back to the living room to continue watching the movie. Yangyang and Alex fell asleep in the couch like they used to when they were kids.
---
He spent Christmas morning with an upset stomach. It’s okay, he has nowhere to be. He lazed around the house watching videos and playing games.
The Idle week before the new year is spent around the city, enjoying a drink in a café with his friends and walking around Altstadt. His sister then took him to Classic Remise Dusseldorf. Again he took a lot of photos for social media. The New Year came. They ate dinner and counted down, Yangyang enjoyed the fireworks in the city together with his parents. They don’t really have traditions on New Year’s unless it’s the Lunar New Year.
Days went by as quickly as Yangyang and Alex were dropped off at the Dusseldorf International Airport. Their family said goodbye with tight hugs and bags full of chocolate. And he was already carrying enough souvenirs for everyone in Korea. Yangyang promises to see them again and look after Alex for the next two days. They went through security and baggage check in then boarded the plane. Alex slept soundly during the flight, and Yangyang wishes he could too. At least the younger could enjoy the city tomorrow with energy. He jammed his Airpods into his ears and started another series.
They arrived at the Dubai International Airport on ten in the morning. His sister signed them up for a city tour, so that the ten hours they spend in the country won’t go to waste. But first they took showers and changed their clothing. Their tour guide is a kind man who speaks English well. He took them to the Dubai Mall to shop for a few hours. Yangyang was ecstatic to buy clothes and shoes for himself and for Guanheng. In the end, he bought Guanheng a pair of shoes and clothes for everyone else. He got himself a hat and an expensive pair of shoes, which he bought using the converted cash given to him on Christmas. Alex looked happy in his new jacket too.
Carrying a fuck ton of shopping bags and getting it to Korea is gonna be a problem.
After eating Arabian cuisine, they headed to the tallest building in the world.
The elevators made him feel light headed, maybe it’s the lack of sleep or the altitude. He just isn’t feeling his best, but he's here and he might as well have fun. Goddamn his legs are aching from walking around the mall earlier. They went up until the 148th floor and looked out the view. He felt like he could see the whole country. Yangyang wished the he could have toured the country a little longer and rode the Formula Rossa in Abu Dhabi.
The sun was setting on the horizon as he promised to come back.
He took a lot of pictures of the scenery and a couple selfies. Alex is a good photographer and the tour guide took photos of them together. They went down and took more photos under the building.
They were dropped off back at the airport on six thirty in the afternoon, leaving them with enough time for supper. Yangyang bought them two giant slices of pizza and Coke and sat around in the lounge area.
“Did you have fun?” he bit on his slice of classic pepperoni.
“Yeah, I didn’t know it was possible to spend this much on a shower.”
“We were literally on top of the tallest building in the world.”
“But it wasn’t the very top.”
“You’re right, we could have bought another jacket with the money we spent on showers,” he gulped his drink. “You good?”
“My legs hurt," he stretched them out, "but I’m going to sit for ten hours so.." The younger shrugged.
“I can’t wait to come home.”
---
The flight back to Korea was uneventful except their baggage, but that got solved. Yangyang thankfully got some sleep. He was woken up hours later for landing. He sluggishly went through the Incheon International Airport. It was almost lunch time when they met up with Ten. His brother arrived in Korea before New Year, so he picked them up. Kun was at university, so he didn’t come today. Ten treated them to lunch before finally heading home.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me for a while?” Yangyang got out of the car. He is now standing in front of his apartment building.
“I’ll hang at Ten hyung’s place before Mom picks me up,” Alex’s window from the backseat was rolled down, "besides, you look like shit.”
“Yeah Yangyang, take care,” Ten said. “I’m sorry I can’t look after you, I have an important schedule this afternoon.”
“Yeah yeah, I’ll just sleep it off.”
He got in the building, pulling his luggage and carrying his backpack and numerous shopping bags. The elevator took him up the fifth floor. Yangyang padded down the hallway and got his key in at the first try.
‘i’m home’
‘i’ll be there in a while’
He plugged his phone in and took a shower, hoping that everything will be a little bit better afterwards.
Yangyang changed into loungewear, his skin is noticeably bad from the lack of sleep. He laid on the couch, leaving his things unpacked except for a single paper bag. A few minutes later Renjun came knocking at his door with Leon cradled against his chest.
“Hi.”
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” He opened the door wider to let him inside. “No ‘I miss you’ or ‘how was your flight’?”
He let Leon down and the cat immediately pawed at Yangyang’s calves. “How was your flight? Have you eaten?”
“The worst and yeah I ate,” Yangyang nuzzled his face against Leon. “Hey buddy, I missed you.”
“He missed you too.”
“Couch?”
“Yeah.”
They sat on opposite ends of the couch with Leon in between them. Yangyang waited three months for this conversation. Hopefully all of his questions get answered.
“So, where do we start?”
“Wait you’re sweating.”
“It’s hot.”
“It’s winter, are you okay?”
“It’s just a little headache.”
Renjun placed his palm against Yangyang’s forehead. “You’re burning up!”
“Really, I’m okay.”
“No you’re not. You flew for like a day and went around Dubai,” he got up and went to the kitchen. “You need to sleep.”
“I just need to talk to you and get this over with.”
Renjun handed a glass of water to him and said “I’m not talking to a sick boy.”
“My head is killing me, I just want you to reject me or not right now.”
“You’re being stubborn.”
“You're being stubborn.” He gulped the water. “You’re acting like you’re diverting the topic.” He wiped the corner of his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater. “Do you even care about my feelings?”
“I do,” He held his head on his hands, then looked up to meet Yangyang’s gaze, “and this is me caring about you.”
Yangyang fell silent.
“Come on, you’re tired,” Renjun held both of his wrists and pulled him to the bedroom. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Renjun gave him paracetamol and water before tucking him in. Yangyang opened his mouth to speak but Renjun interrupted him.
“I’m not going to leave you, I promise,” Renjun smiled at him. “But I’m not going to stay here, that’s creepy.”
That wasn’t what Yangyang had in mind, but he was too tired to fight on it, “Okay, see you in a few hours.”
---
Yangyang woke up a little light headed, he slept for six hours. He found Renjun on the couch with Leon on his lap and Chinese takeout graced the coffee table.
“Hey, you want dinner?”
“What did you do when I was asleep?”
“Did a little something, watched a movie, and played with Leon.”
“You should have went back to your unit and its fine by me.”
“Wanted to make sure you don’t go out of your room.” Renjun handed him his food as he sat down on the couch. “Are you feeling better?”
“Kinda,” he broke the disposable chopsticks in half, “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier.”
“I’m sorry too.”
“So where do we start?”
“I don’t know, you ask me?”
Yangyang ate a mouthful of fried rice as Renjun ate his too. They were halfway done with their meal when Yangyang spoke up.
“Why did you avoid me?”
Renjun swallowed his food before answering, “I got scared.”
“Of what?”
“My feelings for you.”
“Why?”
“Because it was too fast,” he cleared his throat. “I just… Hold on,” he got up and retrieved something from the kitchen table. “Here.”
In his hand is a neatly folded sheet of bond paper.
“I wrote that when you were asleep.” Yangyang opened the letter. “Please don’t look at me while reading that, it’s so embarrassing.”
“No, its not.”
Yangyang had never received a letter like this his whole life, it’s usually just dms or texts saying ‘I like you hmu’. Renjun’s handwriting is pretty and the characters are neat.The moment he was waiting for is finally here. But before he reads the letter, he walks to his room and retrieves the paper bag and gave it to Renjun.
“What’s this?”
“Merry Christmas.”
Renjun looked at the paper bag’s contents, which are bars of salted caramel chocolate, postcards from the Museum of Kunstpalast, and a small red box.
“Dude I…” He traced the cold letters on the box, “This is too much.”
“You gave me a letter and that is more va-“
“Shut the fuck up, don’t say it, Just,” Renjun sighed, not bothering to continue his sentence.
“Open it.” Yangyang said. And he did.
In the box was a silver chained bracelet with a small stone in the middle. Yangyang bought it with the money he saved up in Konigsallee. Renjun’s jaw dropped.
“This is…” Yangyang nodded at him. “I heard from Doyoung hyung that this brand is expensive.” He whipped his head to face Yangyang, “Yangyang, this is too much.”
“It’s fine.”
“I don’t even wanna know how much this exactly costs, I know it’s expensive.”
“Want me to put it on for you?” Yangyang offered but Renjun already clasped it on himself. “Okay, way to be romantic.”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m reading your letter now.”
“Okay.”
The letter was so neat to be written in one shot. “How many times?”
“In a span of three months? You don’t need to know.”
“Damn.”
It was a little lengthy but Yangyang could easily tell that Renjun really thought about it. He really thought about them. He grasped the paper but not brash enough to crumple it, like how tight it grasped his chest. He couldn’t breathe well, but it was worth it.
“I heard you, so hear me out too.”
Renjun hummed for a reply.
“I like you too, and it was hard for me to know you were avoiding me for months after I thought something between us changed.” He covered his eyes with his fore arm. “I thought I could just let it be and you were just my neighbour and I really thought we were friends but you avoided me so…” he stammered. “So I didn’t mind it, but I was waiting on my birthday too and I blew my one chance.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah I know.”
“Oh my god, you really infuriate me,” Renjun chuckled.
“I wanted to kick your door down but that would be rude, and I got busy and two months suddenly passed with you avoiding me. And whenever I catch you in your balcony, you look like you want to jump instead of talk to me. I am not the plague.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. I knew you had feelings for me and it gave me hope. But you act like there is nothing when I could clearly feel it. Before I left, I wanted to know if you are worth pursuing.”
“But I said nothing.”
“Yeah, you said nothing.” He hears Renjun sob from the other side of the couch. “I really like you, like I knew when I met you that I eventually would want you to be part of my life.”
“Yangyang.”
“I’m happy you got your shit together and I got mine too. I’m sorry for letting you avoid me, I should’ve chased you.” Renjun was about to apologise again. “Please stop, you wrote enough apologies in your letter.”
Renjun giggled, then he sniffled.
“I really missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
He uncovered his eyes and faced Renjun. “Please don’t run away after I hug you.”
“I won’t.”
Yangyang moved closer and pulled Renjun with him so they fall backwards on the couch. Renjun shifted on top of him so that they’ll be comfortable. He wrapped his left arm around his waist and held his nape with his right hand. They both giggled, this could have been what happened before. And this is what he wanted, Yangyang could fall asleep right then and there.
“This is nice.”
“Yeah, and I like feeling crushed too."
"You, asshole." Renjun reached out to wipe Yangyang’s tears and he found himself smiling wide. “So what does ‘Schatzi’ mean?” Renjun asked with his head against Yangyang’s chest.
He just laughed and hooked his chin on top of Renjun's head.
“I’ll tell you some other time.”