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Alex is anxious. Then again, when is he not?
He certainly didn’t expect this to continue after he, well, died , yet here he is.
After meeting Julie, getting to perform again, Caleb’s curse, him and his boys not disappearing forever, let’s just say there’s been a lot going on. Some peace and quiet serves him right, Alex thinks.
Oh, but meeting Willie, that was also something. Something completely different, so Alex doesn’t quite know where to place this feeling fluttering behind his chest.
In all honesty, he hasn’t seen Willie since they said their goodbyes. Of course not, the shorter boy thought he would fade away. Whether that be by the hands of Caleb or their own salvation.
Alex misses him. Of course he bloody does.
Luke and Reggie’s been comforting about it, even assured him he’d see Willie again, but Alex isn’t that sure.
He doesn’t know where he is, but he’s scared. What won’t Caleb do if he finds out the skater boy helped them out of his grasp?
And, of course, because Alex is just so obvious, according to Luke, he wishes he’d said something to Willie.
Something like a reply to the shorter boy’s line in the club.
“There’s a lot to like here.” What’s that supposed to mean? Alex knows what he wants it to mean, but he was so shell shocked, he didn’t even react. He let Willie walk away.
And, oh, “I’d do anything for you.”
Luke likes to remind Alex just how not straight that sentence was, but the irrational fear in him still can’t help those nagging doubts in his head.
But why think of those when it’s Christmas, right?
That’s how Reggie gets him out of his own head. He’s always looked forward to Christmas, sometimes with a frightening obsession, but it’s nice of him to use it as a distraction, as well.
They’re good friends. Too good. Julie too, who lets them help decorate, with Carlos as well, of course, letting him in on their little family secret with their dad blissfully unaware. Alex is sure he wouldn’t mind.
In fact, while their dad’s at work, Julie and the boys work on the Christmas tree as a team effort.
There’s barely any tree visible at this point, presents filled up on the floor, Julie taking a hold of the glass ornaments, so the ghosts don’t risk smashing anything, and themselves focusing on glitter, light chain and the like.
She teaches them to fold these paper decorations, too, and Luke laughs at Reggie’s overly eager running about.
Julie takes Luke’s hand for a moment.
It’s different now that they can actually touch, and Luke smiles shyly. Maybe that just makes Alex miss the skater boy more.
But, of course, before Christmas day, the boys want to pay a visit to their families. Reggie found both his parent’s new homes, a month after it all went down, and despite it all, it gives him some peace looking after them.
Same goes with Luke, who receives a kiss on his cheek before poofing out.
And, well, that leaves Alex. He does poof out, too, giving the brightly smiling girl a wave, despite her eyes definitely looking through his facade.
Alex knows where his family is, just as much as his boys. And that’s where he goes. He’s not quite sure how much peace, or warmth, or fulfillment that brings him, though.
He rather just deems it a necessary thing to get done.
…
As Alex poofs into the stark white house at the end of the road, lavender painted window sills at the courtesy of his mom, and space enough for a garden for the dog, just like the old days, he’s ready to be let down.
He’s already been that anyway, he’s used to it.
When Alex went here for the first time since they died, just a month ago, actually, he was shocked at just how little had changed.
Inside, too. Living room seemed untouched since he ran away to sleep in the garage with the boys. Only difference being the huge portrait of himself over the fireplace.
That surprised Alex, too.
His father didn’t look at him the same way since he came out, and even though his mother didn’t admit to not accepting him, the sad look she gave him hurt even more than the spiteful words said to his face, for some reason.
Alex thought he was lucky his brother wasn’t home to hear it, which is just as depressing as everything else.
They’ve stuck with the traditional Christmas family gathering, still. And just beneath his own face staring back at him, on the mantelpiece, was the angel that always had its home there for the holidays.
It’s almost like the family used his death to forget what made him run away. Or rather, made them push him out, because God knows he didn’t want to be, excuse his language, fucking homeless at the age of 17.
Is it too tragic that dysfunctional families are what tied him and the boys together, made them inseparable? Perhaps.
Alex’s mother still had that sad look in her eyes when she looked at his portrait. Well it’s fair enough, if she hadn’t acted like that when he was alive, too.
But after mulling the thoughts from his first visit over, he didn’t have the energy to be bitter anymore. He’s just disappointed in them.
And Luke and Reggie, and Julie were right every time they told him it’s his family’s loss, and immediately stopped him in his tracks when he tried to blame himself, or regret he ever told them.
Now he can sit beside that very fireplace, and observe his strained family eat of the Christmas dinner, a painful silence settled on the resident.
Way to have Christmas cheer, huh.
Except, a poof, a sound he’s oddly familiar with by now sounds from the entrance. Alex expects it to be one, or both of the boys, picking him up on the way back to Julie because he hasn’t watched the time.
It’s a boy he knows, but one he’s missed.
Willie.
He doesn’t even contain the surprise to his own head, but says it out loud, he realises, when the skater ghost is standing in the archway, looking at Alex like a lost treasure.
There’s this feeling in his stomach like the first time they met, which is insane because they’re dead , he’s not supposed to stomach aches, or any aches for that matter.
“Hey, hotdog.”
Alex probably looks like a computer in shut down mode. It’s okay though, he supposes, since his silence doesn’t scare the shorter boy from sitting down next to him.
Okay. Calm down. Butterflies in his stomach, ghost butterflies , what the fuck?
The boy, now next to him, who’s just too pretty for Alex to process, duh, he’s been since the first day, puts his gaze on the gathering in front of them.
He can hear the fire crackling behind him, and he feels warm. Because of blushing, more likely.
Can ghosts even blush? He doesn’t have blood anymore, for God’s sake.
Alex ends up interrupting Willie when he tries to say something, stupid, yet the skater boy urges him to continue first.
“How’d you know where to find me?” he finds himself asking. Not “Where have you been?”, like a rational person. But he never claimed to be rational, did he?
Willie smiles softly. Fuck.
“I have my ways.” is all Alex gets, and instead of elaborating, he takes this as his cue to talk, “They’re not big on the holidays?”
Alex turns back to the dinner table, and the thick, uncomfortable aura.
If they knew he was there, watching them, all hell would break loose. Or if he was still alive, probably more so. He hates that thought.
He gives Willie a shrug, “They used to. I guess a dead gay son kills the mood.”
Alex got that sarcastic, borderline depressing humor from time to time. It’s not something that came with death, but perhaps, a bit more recurring now.
Reggie, the ever optimist and dork he is, always made it a mission to scold him for those kinds of jokes, and that’s what friends are supposed to do, right?
Willie looks at him. Concerned, but understanding. Alex’s not sure how he knows, but trust him, he just does.
“At least you got a portrait.”
And that’s where Alex takes his chance, “Where have you been?”
The words seem harsh, but Willie smiles again, so maybe it’s his own overthinking taking a toll.
“Avoiding Caleb, mostly.”
“Did… I-did he do something? To you?”
And the boy, an angel , more like, knows those nervous eyes, it seems, and for some reason, thanks to whatever good forces out there, he takes his hand.
“You worry too much.” is all he says.
Well, he’s not wrong. Definitely not the first time he’s heard that statement.
Also, that’s not in any way an answer to his question, but Alex has developed a feeling of when he shouldn’t ask further.
Willie doesn’t seem as distraught as he expected. It’s weird, because just like before after all that mess, he reappears into his life- uh, well, afterlife, just as randomly as the many times before.
He’s soft. Alex doesn’t have other words to describe him, at all, like in the Hollywood Ghost Club.
And he even convinces himself to form words, an invite to Julie’s, not willing to risk the skater boy disappearing in front of him, too soon, too often, but Willie reads his mind all over again, “Let's get out of here.”
Alex sighs in relief.
It’s warm now, the silence, because of the boy next to him. He’d rather prefer that warmth somewhere… warmer, in general. Not here.
“Please.”