Chapter Text
Poggersgirl: “Okay, is that everyone?”
Jokes on u I: “I think it is.”
Jeff da Killer: “Hello, everyone!”
Jacks off to tanks: “Wha-what the fuck?! Who the hell changed my name?!”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Holy shit, I just noticed. That’s fucking hilarious.”
DDR but mean and yellow: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That greasy moron jacks off to tank porn! I bet he’s all like, ‘Oh! Look at your metal chassis! I think I’m gonna—’”
Jacks off to tanks: “THAT IS NOT TRUE!!”
Horny meat: “Oh my, my! Someone’s kinky! You lie in bed thinking about these nasty things, don’t you~?”
Jacks off to tanks: “SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO, I DON’T!”
Tomato mom taking shots: “Hiyoko! Fuyuhiko! Be nice. Kazuichi! Quiet down. And stop that, Teruteru!”
Overlord of emo gays: “Kehehehehehe…”
Jacks off to tanks: “What the hell, Hamster-chan?!”
Overlord of emo gays: “Consider it retribution, my paramour, for altering the title of the Supreme Overlord of Ice!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “B-b-but y-you s-still k-kept the n-name…”
Jacks off to tanks: “What the hell, man?! I didn’t even change your name that much!”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “I dunno, Kaz. I think it works.”
Jacks off to tanks: “Sh-shut up!”
Overlord of emo gays: “You may pay your tributes to the fiend Hajime Hinata. It was his idea.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Wh-Don’t listen to him.”
Jacks off to tanks: “HAJIMEEEE…!”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Don’t worry, Kazuichi. It’s all in good fun. And it’ll motivate you to win the game!”
Jacks off to tanks: “When I said I love tanks I didn’t mean I jack off to ‘em!”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Ibuki’s actually likes your name, Souda-Pop! You should tooootally keep it!”
GodimsohungryNOM: “I like it, dude. ‘Sides, isn’t too late to change it? We’re all here and I really wanna get this game goin’!”
MANAGE YOUR SHIT MANNNN: “PATIENCE, AKANE. PATIENCE IS VITAL TO A SUCCESSFUL ATHLETE!”
GodimsohungryNOM: “SIR, YES, SIR!”
Jokes on u I: “Can we please stop yelling?”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “I agree. My ears are going to start bleeding if you guys yell anymore.”
Jeff da Killer: “Can we please settle down? Chiaki and I would like to begin.”
Poggersgirl: “Yeah, we need to go over teams and how this is going to work.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Sorry, guys.”
Overlord of emo gays: “Apologies, She-Cat.”
Tomato mom taking shots: “Sorry. Go ahead.”
Poggersgirl: “Alright, so we’re all here to play Minecraft Bedwars on the Hope’s Peak server.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Wait, Hope’s Peak has a Minecraft server?”
Jacks off to tanks: “Yeah, you didn’t know?”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Obviously not!”
Overlord of emo gays: “I was also not aware of this.”
GodimsohungryNOM: “Ditto what he said.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “It’s mainly for the tech and gaming Ultimates. Y’know, like Chiaki, Chihiro, and Miu. But we can play on it too if we want.”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “C’mon, everyone. I know trash like me has no say in this, but let’s wait for Chiaki and Sonia to explain the game!”
DDR but mean and yellow: “Hey, OJ chugger! Your depressing flaming gay bagel is doing it again!”
Jeff da Killer: “Silence, everyone! Please listen up!”
Poggersgirl: “I think we’re all good now.”
Jeff da Killer: “Now then, to make things simple, the teams will be organized by couples first.”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Yayyy! Ibuki’s gonna be with Mikan first!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “H-hurray!”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Looks like I’m with you, Hajime. Don’t worry, I’ll try my best not to drag us down.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Ko…”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Oh! Right, sorry. I’m not trash and I’m not dragging you all down…”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “That’s right and—”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Oh my fucking god, Hajime. Can you guys keep it in your fucking pants?”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “So I take it I’m paired up with Fuyuhiko, then?”
Jeff da Killer: “Yes. Then there will be me and Chiaki then Kazuichi and Gundham.”
Jacks off to tanks: “Hold up, that’s not fair! Your team’s too OP!”
Jeff da Killer: “What do you mean, Kazuichi?”
Jacks off to tanks: “Yer kiddin’? The Ultimate Gamer and the Ultimate Princess with military training? We’re gonna get our asses handed to us…”
GodimsohungryNOM: “I think it’s gonna be fun!”
Overlord of emo gays: “Fret not, Tamer of Automatons. We will seize victory for the Tanaka Empire! You will rue the day you chose the Great Gundham Tanaka as your enemy!”
Jacks off to tanks: “We’re gonna die.”
Jeff da Killer: “It will be alright! It is only for the first round, then we will switch partners.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Easy for you to say. You have Chiaki on your team first.”
MANAGE YOUR SHIT MANNNN: “And what about the rest?!”
Poggersgirl: “It’s going to be Mahiru and Hiyoko, you and Akane, and Teruteru and Imposter. I hope you guys don’t mind.”
DDR but mean and yellow: “Yay! I’m with Mahiru! If any of you pathetic losers try to kill her, Imma bop you on the head!”
Tomato mom taking shots: “Great! Let’s show the boys who’s boss!”
GodimsohungryNOM: “Hell yeah! I’m gonna beat all your asses! Me and coach are unstoppable!”
MANAGE YOUR SHIT MANNNN: “I don’t mind!!!”
Jokes on u I: “I’m fine with that.”
Horny meat: “Oh ho ho~! Pairing the spares, are we? It’s quite alright.”
Jokes on u I: “Don’t make this weird.”
Poggersgirl: “So that’s it. Let me just start the game up…”
Teams:
Red – TetrisChamp & DeathSlayer666 (Chiaki & Sonia)
Blue – Imposter & onthemeatbone (Imposter & Teruteru)
Green – G00D_5H17 & 1_5M311_P3NN135 (Nekomaru & Akane)
Yellow – angrykimono & Snapshot (Hiyoko & Mahiru)
Aqua – dontFwithme & powerofgod (Fuyuhiko & Peko)
White – soudashark3000 & Overlord_of_Ice (Kazuichi & Gundham)
Pink – BGMmusicbuster69 & QTnurse420 (Ibuki & Mikan)
Gray – LOVESlikeRHINESTONES & ThatOneEditOfMe (Hajime & Nagito)
—————―――――
Poggersgirl: “Hey, Sonia. How are you holding up so far?”
Jeff da Killer: “I am doing well, Chiaki. But I am very nervous since this is my first game with everyone…”
Poggersgirl: “You’ll do great, I’m sure of it. It’s just like we practiced.”
Jeff da Killer: “Yes! I have acquired 3 diamonds!”
Poggersgirl: “That’s great. You’re really getting the hang of bridging. I’m heading to mid right now. Is there anyone you want to get out first?”
Jeff da Killer: “Let us first kill Kazuichi!”
Poggersgirl: “So, white team?”
Jeff da Killer: “No, only Kazuichi.”
Poggersgirl: “Why’s that?”
Jeff da Killer: “Ibuki, Akane, Hiyoko, and I have a bet to see who can permanently eliminate him first.”
Poggersgirl: “What about Gundham?”
Jeff da Killer: “He is not part of the bet, so he is not a priority.”
Poggersgirl: “What do you get if you win?”
Jeff da Killer: “The losers must do whatever the winner asks for an entire week!”
Poggersgirl: “Do I count too because we’re teammates?”
Jeff da Killer: “Only if you want to.”
Poggersgirl: “Thanks, babe.”
Jeff da Killer: “Of course! We are in this together!”
Poggersgirl: “Let’s crush that Souda Can.”
—————―――――
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Hey, Ko, where are you right now?”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “I’m at the base buying more blocks to protect our bed with.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Cool. I’m coming back with 3 emeralds and 4 diamonds and lots of iron and gold. I killed Nekomaru and Imposter a while back.”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “…Hajime, do you―”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “FUCK. SHIT! DAMMIT!”
LOVESlikeRHINESTONES was kicked into the void by QTnurse420
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “What?! What’s wrong?”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Mikan just bowed me off! AGHHHHH!!”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Hajime, calm down. Maybe it’s best if you don’t slam the table? You might break something…”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “…I’m upset.”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “I believe in you, Hajime! I believe that you will overcome this despair and shine with a hope that’s even brighter! We’ll win this game for both of us!”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Thanks, Ko. Let’s win this! You’re the best, love you.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Hajime! Your gay is showing. You’re not on fucking mute anymore.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “What? Oh shit—”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Pffffffffttttttt…Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Shut the fuck up, Ko.”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “I think I can hear the rest of the class laughing now…I can just imagine your face!”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “I guess I shouldn’t have banged the table…I’m muted now, right?”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Yeah, you are. I’m heading to mid now and…Hey, is that Ibuki and Hiyoko?”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Where?”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “Over there, they’re heading towards Gundham and Kazuichi’s island.”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “This might be a good chance to break one of their beds.”
Flaminghotgaybagelofhope: “And Sonia and Chiaki are going there too…”
OJ chuggs octagon bagels: “Ko, c’mon. Let them fight it out. Let’s see what Mikan and Mahiru are doing.”
—————―――――
Jacks off to tanks: “Why the hell do they keep coming to our island?!”
Overlord of emo gays: “Their numbers grow larger!”
Jacks off to tanks: “Why aren’t they fighting each other?! Are they cross-teaming?!”
Overlord of emo gays: “Wait. It seems the Dark Queen and her mate have arrived!”
Jacks off to tanks: “Great! Even more people to kick our asses! No, wait. Are they helping us?”
angrykimono was slayed by Overlord_of_Ice
BGMmusicbuster69 was thrown to the floor by TetrisChamp
Overlord of emo gays: “The Wicked Devil Dancer and the Rocker of the Nine Realms have been cast into the pits of hell!”
Jacks off to tanks: “Gundham!! Chiaki and Sonia keep chasing me!”
Overlord of emo gays: “My Dark Prince, deliver to me your location so that I may dispose of those fiends!”
Jacks off to tanks: “I’m heading to Aqua’s island! I’m gonna see if Peko and Fuyuhiko can help me lose them!”
Overlord of emo gays: “Tch! I regret to inform you that I am preoccupied at the moment so I cannot assist you in your battle!”
Jacks off to tanks: “What is it now?!”
Overlord of emo gays: “We’ve been targeted by the Gluttonous Warrior of Resilience and the Thundering General of the Elite! They approach us from the east!”
Jacks off to tanks: “Oh, c’mon! Not Akane and Nekomaru!”
TetrisChamp got knocked off the map by powerofgod
DeathSlayer666 was eaten by powerofgod
Overlord of emo gays: “Fuahahahahaha! They are no match for my sharpshooting. They will not win this battle!”
Jacks off to tanks: “Gundy, I’m coming back. I got some loot so we can upgrade our stuff. Peko took care of Sonia and Chiaki.”
Overlord of emo gays: “And she did not take your life?”
Jacks off to tanks: “Nope. She was too busy fighting Chiaki and Sonia.”
G00D_5H17 was destroyed by Overlord_of_Ice
Overlord of emo gays: “Shark Mechanic! The Warrior has infiltrated our fortress!”
Jacks off to tanks: “I’m here! I’m here!”
1_5M311_P3NN135 got crushed by soudashark3000
Overlord of emo gays: “My paramour, did you do something to offend these fiends?”
Jacks off to tanks: “Wha-No! I didn’t do anything! A-at least I don’t think I did…”
Overlord of emo gays: “Perhaps they simply wish to see you suffer…”
ThatOneEditOfMe tripped into the void.
Jacks off to tanks: “There goes Nagito. Hah! But what the hell?! That’s not cool! I don’t wanna suffer…!”
Overlord of emo gays: “It matters not, Pink-Haired One. We will be victorious! For the Tanaka Empire!”
Jacks off to tanks: “What the fuck?! They’re back already!?”
Overlord of emo gays: “YOU FIENDS! BURN IN THE FIRES OF P A N D E M O N I U M!!!”
—————―――――
Tomato mom taking shots: “Hiyoko! Can you stop running off? I’m trying to get more materials for our bed!”
DDR but mean and yellow: “But Mahiru! I have a bet to win! I will NOT be doing whatever Ibuki or Akane says for a whole week!”
Tomato mom taking shots: “But I’m about to break Gray team’s bed!”
DDR but mean and yellow: “Wait, what?! I’m coming, Mahiru!”
Tomato mom taking shots: “Jeez! What a bunch of unreliable guys. They left their bed out in the open. There’s barely anything protecting it.”
GRAY’s bed has been destroyed!
DDR but mean and yellow: “Hahaha! Eat that you trashy losers! Mahiru! Help me kill Kazuichi! That dumb breeder keeps on bowing me!”
Tomato mom taking shots: “I’ll get there as soon as I can!”
—————―――――
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Is it me or is everyone going to Kazuichi and Gundham’s island?”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “No…I think they’re targeting them. Maybe Kazuichi did something wrong again?”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “The hell if I know, but our defenses are looking pretty good.”
1_5M311_P3NN135 was stabbed in the heart by BGMmusicbuster69
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “What should we do now?”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “I think we should try and get Chiaki and Sonia’s bed. If we let them keep it any longer, they’re going to kick our asses for sure.”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “That’s a very risky move. We have no idea what they’re planning.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Maybe, but they’re both at Kazuichi’s island right now.”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “I’ll stay behind and watch over the base. You go ahead.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Alright, be careful.”
Overlord_of_Ice fell into the void
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “I don’t see anyone here. Holy shit, how the fuck did they get so many blocks on their bed? Fuck! They have a trap on their island!”
TetrisChamp got KO’d by LOVESlikeRHINESTONES
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “Hurry, Fuyuhiko! Chiaki will be at her base at any moment!”
TRAP TRIGGERED! Your trap has been set off!
RED’s bed has been destroyed!
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Red bed’s gone. I’m coming back. Who’s at the base?”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “Teruteru. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”
onthemeatbone was skewered by powerofgod
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Did he really just run up to our base? That’s a fucking dumbass move.”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “I admit, that wasn’t―”
AQUA’s bed has been destroyed!
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW?!”
Imposter was killed by the force known as powerofgod
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “Imposter used an invisibility potion and sneaked on while Teruteru distracted me! Forgive me, Fuyuhiko!”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Oh it’s on! Those bastards are gonna fucking pay!”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “Fuyuhiko! Don’t! Not now.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “Augh! Tch…You’re right.”
Pek Pek Peeking to stab: “We need to get more gear, then we’ll kick their asses.”
NOT BABY GANGSTA: “You’re the best, Peko.”
—————―――――
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Mikaaaann!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “Y-yes?”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Do you have any gold? Ibuki wants to bomb Souda-Pop’s island with TNT! It’s gonna be blown to smithereens!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “S-sure. H-here. I j-just dropped some.”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Thanks, baby!”
Snapshot was pushed into the void by soudashark3000
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Uh oh! Kaz killed Mahiru! That’s means Hiyoko is gonna go sicko mode all over him!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “Y-you should h-hurry so Hiyoko doesn’t kill Kazuichi f-first!”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Yep! Ibuki is oooonnnn the way! Oh! Mikan! I see Mahiru going to Kaz’s island too! This might be the perfect time to break their bed!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “I-I’ll try my best!”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Haha! Gundham and Kaz got their hands full! Let me just…KABLOOEY!! Chop chop chop!”
WHITE’s bed has been destroyed!
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “You’re not getting away from me, Souda-Pop!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “I-I’m about t-to break y-yellow’s b-bed!”
angrykimono was scratched to death by 1_5M311_P3NN135
YELLOW’S bed has been destroyed!
Doc Mcstuffins: “Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!”
QTnurse420 was kicked to the underworld by angrykimono
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Mikan!! What’s wrong?!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “H-H-Hiyoko g-g-got me fr-from behind! I-I’m sorry!”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “It’s okay! Besides, you got their bed! You were awesome!!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “R-r-really? I-I’m so happy!”
[angrykimono]: I hope your bed gets destroyed next you nasty pig barf!!!
Doc Mcstuffins: “Wahhh! Hiyoko called me pig barf in chat!”
[TetrisChamp]: No being mean Hiyoko or ur getting kicked
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Don’t worry, Mikan! Your rocking girlfriend’s got your back! Let’s kill Kaz and make Hiyoko give us her secret stash of gummy bears!”
BGMmusicbuster69 was impaled by ThatOneEditOfMe
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Ahwahwah?! Where did Nagito-chan come from?! Ahwahwah?! Where did Nagito-chan come from?!””
Doc Mcstuffins: “I-Ibuki! You’re repeating your words again!”
Oh so u like music? Name every song: “Oh? Looks like things are getting all warmed up! Well, I guess it’s time to make a reference!”
Doc Mcstuffins: “Wha-what?”
[BGMmusicbuster69]: cue the music!!!!!!!!!
[BGMmusicbuster69]: < To Be Continued \|\|
[DeathSlayer666]: I understood that reference!
[soudashark3000]: god pls no
[Overlord_of_Ice]: you called?
[dontFwithme]: shut the fuck up guys
[Snapshot]: Language
[DeathSlayer666]: I also understood that reference!
[Imposter]: No