Chapter Text
Mid-July. The air was dense, humid, and hot, which Katsuki hated. He didn't do well with extreme temperatures. Nitroglycerin is really unstable in the cold which makes his quirk a pain in the ass to control, and when it is hot he sweats way too much, which also makes his quirk a pain in the ass to control. So in both cases, he had to really concentrate on every move so he wouldn't burst something, or someone, accidentally. But if he had to choose, he would prefer Summer over Winter.
Summer.
He made it to another summer.
Breathing this heavy air again meant something to him. With all that's happened in the past months, all that’s happened to him, it was a miracle to be alive. But here he was, alive, being able to hate and complain about the hot weather. And yet, he didn’t feel so victorious as he should. Because even though he was experiencing a new summer, not everyone had gotten so lucky.
They were broken.
Everything, everyone.
Cities were still being rebuilt, citizens and heroes were still recovering in hospitals, people were still trying to heal from losing their houses, their friends, their families. It hasn’t been long since their war against the League of Villains and the Liberation front, and what happened in Japan was an alarm to the rest of the world.
The League was defeated at a very high cost, but that didn’t mean that it was over. They knew it. And people were absolutely terrified at the possibilities. And who could tell them that they were wrong when even the so-called “heroes” were just as lost?
Classes, of course, were delayed. No one expected them to just jump from that to school again. So their second year was going to start in September instead of April. The students in UA didn’t get to finish the school year, but all of them were automatically approved due to the circumstances. Bakugou wasn’t sure about what to expect from this year.
His cell phone buzzed underneath his pillow. He took it and saw a message in the group chat he was in with Deku and All Might.
“Young ones, I won’t be able to attend today, but please continue your training without me.
And no skipping”
All Might had put this group together so they could talk better to each other for “training purposes”. But Bakugou knew why he did it. He wanted to make sure both he and Deku didn’t neglect their health or succumb to their thoughts. Because All Might was well aware that they blamed themselves over everything, and no matter how much he talked to them, the idea was tattooed in their brains.
Katsuki still hasn't really moved on from the fact that if he hadn’t been captured last year, All Might would still be able to fight, and maybe the world wouldn’t be so messed up right now, even if he already knew that wasn’t the case. And Izuku felt that if he had done something sooner, if he had been able to stop Shigaraki before, if he had just been better, then he wouldn’t have inherited All for One and killed so many people.
That’s why as soon as they recovered from their wounds from the fight, All Might put the boys under his wings once more and almost every day would meet them, and train them, and talk to them. Anything to distract their minds. Because the more the two boys punished themselves, the more Toshinori did the same. It was him that didn’t finish All for One in time, it was him that overlooked the dangers and wrongs in society, it was him that didn’t prepare young Midoriya enough, it was him. He failed, and still, the two boys insisted on carrying this weight with him, regardless of what he said.
But deep, deep down they all had conscious that it wasn’t their fault. They were complacent in the system that caused this, of course. But the discrimination, the habit of labeling even kids as “villains” based on their quirks and appearance, the way everything was overlooked by others because “the heroes would take care of this”, these things were to blame.
And that meant Shigaraki right. The “villains” were right.
Society was already seeing “heroes” with other eyes, and things would need to really change from now on. This was not a battle they could win by force. The ideology Stain preached about a year ago had taken proportions that not even he saw coming. Revolutions and protests were gaining force all over the world, and they didn’t know what to do. Now was not safe, not satisfactory, not right. But… How do you make it better?
“We sure will, right Kacchan?”
Deku’s message popped up below All Might’s. Bakugou just sent a thumbs-up emoji and left the chat.
He looked at all the unread messages he was meant to answer. He opened Kirishima’s chat. “Hey, are you good, man? you’ve been missing!”, and “Not manly, bro, ignoring your friends like this”, and “It’s been weeks already, I’m worried!”. All of these between memes, and articles about a conspiracy theory of a show they’re watching, like trying to lure him to at least answer anything.
He touched the screen and the cursor started flashing. He stared at it. On, off, on, off, on, off. Just write something! He typed a letter, deleted it. Keysmashed as if it would magically create a sentence for him, deleted it. Eventually, he gave up writing an answer. Again.
The thing is, the time you stay without answering someone and your anxiety level about said action are directly proportional.
Katsuki got out of bed and started changing, for he was supposed to meet Deku in an hour and a half in an empty warehouse they used to practice. Downstairs, he put a few protein bars and an isotonic drink in his bag. He noticed his parents weren’t around, which meant they were either working in the studio on the third floor, or they were out. Not that he cared. He put his headphones on and left the house.
Bakugou arrived at the warehouse before Deku did, as per usual. He unlocked the heavy metal door and got in. The air was almost touchable inside, the windows were too small and too high, being at fault for the lack of air circulation and light. He hated that place. He changed the playlist and started his yoga routine. That was one of the reasons he liked getting there early, to do it alone with nobody around. First, because he didn’t want to be mocked (not that anyone would actually mock him). But also because he started yoga to work more on his breath control, to see if it helped him be more centered and calm, and he'd rather do that by himself.
The metal door opened up again, the noise echoing through space. Katsuki lifted his head to watch as Deku walked up to him, sat down, and started stretching. None of them said anything. After Izuku was finished, he opened a big smile and turned at him.
“Ready, Kacchan?”, he asked, getting up and reaching out his hand to help Bakugou get up.
“Yes”, he stood up, taking Deku’s hand.
They warmed up together, then moved on to the real thing.
First was the “no quirk” routine. They raced in a predetermined path, then whoever lost had to do 100 push-ups with the other on their back. Their win rate was pretty even since Deku had finally caught up to Kacchan. Today, Bakugou won. So Deku lied on the ground and waited for the other boy to sit with his legs crossed on his back. The first time All Might suggested it, both of them were really uncomfortable with the contact, but they got used to it by now.
After that, they fought without giving the loser time to rest. It was good to build stamina. Over the past year, Izuku improved a lot in hand-to-hand combat, so much so that he almost never lost to Katsuki, even when he’s tired, which always got to Bakugou’s nerves. But if he is to be honest, he wanted Deku to improve. So even though he’d still get mad, it would be more at himself, for not being better, than at Midoriya.
Sometimes, while they were fighting, there was an unspoken agreement between them that it was okay to now use their quirks.
They stepped away from each other and the way Katsuki twisted his neck and how Deku bent his knees meant: it’s time. They activated their quirks and attacked each other again. Izuku was trying to only use Blackwhip lately because it was a lot more comfortable to his body. So he left One for All aside and relied on other powers.
Bakugou won that round. After they regained their breath, they went outside and jogged around the block to cool down and breathe fresh air. They never ran side by side, Izuku always stayed at least 2 steps behind Katsuki. Then they returned back inside and stretched again. Sometimes, if they were feeling up to it, they’d do it all over again. Today was not one of those days.
“You did well today, Kacchan!”, Deku praised. It was the second time he’d spoken that day. Their training had been absolutely silent.
It was becoming more and more like that, especially when All Might wasn’t there, as if they were moving on autopilot. Both him and Deku knew better than to ask how they were doing, or to try to engage in a serious, or any, conversation. They weren’t very articulate when it came to expressing themselves to each other. Funny enough, they were the only two people who could properly understand and accept the other one’s feelings.
And Kacchan might not admit it, but he actually liked this. Get out of his house, let off some steam, and go back. And it was a relief when they didn’t speak. It’s been so long since Bakugou had actually tried to maintain a conversation with anyone that he was scared he didn’t remember how to form proper sentences anymore. So, yeah, All Might got it right, these training sessions were comfortable to them. And very, very much needed.
“Shut up, nerd”, he spat. He still couldn’t take positive words from Deku. It was different if someone else said it but from him… He just couldn’t. It always felt condescending, and he couldn’t crack why. Katsuki was packing his things up and noticed Midoriya doing the same. “Aren’t you staying a little bit more today?”, he asked. Bakugou gets there early, and Midoriya leaves late, that’s how it usually goes.
“No. I’m coming back with you if that’s okay!”, he said, getting ready to leave too.
“It’s not!”, he opened the warehouse door, leaving it open so Deku could follow behind.
“Well, that’s too bad, then”. He got the keys from his bag and locked the door. Bakugou was a few meters ahead already, so he quickened to reach him, again staying two steps behind him.
“Why the fuck are you even going home already? It’s the third day in a roll you do this. Are you getting lazy or something, Deku?”, he questioned over his shoulder, without really looking at him.
“What? No, of course not!”, he muttered. “I have a… thing”.
“A thing?”, Bakugou raised an eyebrow, fully turning his head to face Midoriya.
“Yeah, a thing”, he touched the back of his neck, blushing.
“What kind of thing?”, Bakugou couldn’t understand his own curiosity.
“It’s nothing, Kacchan!”, he dismissed the question, embarrassed. “Can you please drop the subject?”, he stared back at Katsuki.
“What the hell are you trying to hide, shitty Deku?”, he queried angrily.
Izuku sighed. “Why do you still act like this?”, he walked past Bakugou. Before the blond boy could say anything, the green dot turned left on the next corner. It wasn’t the correct way to the train station, so Katsuki figured Deku would take the bus.
Bakugou didn’t understand what went wrong, or why the stupid broccoli had gotten so mad. He didn’t say anything much to upset him, did he? The worst thing is: he also didn’t understand why he was pondering over this. Why he suddenly cared. Was it suddenly, though? And why was he so disappointed by not knowing the answer? Was he that desperate to talk to someone that he resorted to him? It was one thing to practice with the boy, but they still weren’t in the chatty-buddies area. Was it because he hasn't been talking to his friends lately and Deku was the only one, besides his parents and All Might, he’d seen for weeks? What the fuck is up with me?
He took his phone from his pocket and texted Kirishima.
“Oi Shitty Hair, are you busy today?”
The moment he pressed send, he froze. The anxiety hitting him again. He was ignoring his best friends for weeks now, was it even okay to just go and send a message out of-
“Omg Bakubro!!
Can’t believe you actually asnwrd
*answered”
As soon as Kirishima’s message popped up, the weight in his chests started to fade away. And it got lighter at every message.
"And actually I was talking to Denki and he told me to meet him at Jirou’s place
U wanna go?
They wanted to invite you but you wasn’t checking your messages”
“you *weren’t, idiot.
And why tf earphones house?”
“idk, he is there a lot these days
they’re gonna play, i guess
i think even tokoyami is going today
if you go it will be the whole band again!!!!!!!
Pls tell me ur going!! 😳😳”
“Fine I’ll go!
At what time?”
“Hmmmmm
Meet me at the station at 5?”
“Sure”
He took the train and got home in 25 minutes. It was 2 pm, so he had plenty of time to cook, eat, and take a shower before heading to Jirou’s house.
----------
At the station, he looked for Kirishima but didn’t find him anywhere. Late, of course. He cursed at himself for not having learned yet that Eijiro was never on time. Twenty minutes passed until he saw a red spot up the escalator. The first thing he noticed was that his hair was up on a ponytail. That’s new. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with a Jaws print over black cargo shorts and… God, no. Fuckin crocs.
“I can’t believe you have the guts to wear that abomination outside your house”, ridiculed Katsuki.
“Hey, I’m a hero, I have to be brave, right?”, he grinned. “I missed you, bro!”, he punched Bakugou’s shoulder.
“Yeah, let’s go”.
“Aren’t you going to say you missed me back?”, he pouted.
“No. Because I didn’t”, he answered. “And I don’t think I remember seeing you with your hair up like that”, commented Bakugou.
“Oh, yeah”, he started, looking down, “I don’t really like it, but my hair was a big mess today”.
“Today?”, teased Katsuki. Eijiro laughed. “It’s kinda sexy though, better than that stupid shit you do with it every day”, he confessed.
“Awwwwwwn bro, you really think so?!”, he squealed, touching the baby hairs in his hairline, blinking repeatedly. Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Thank you, appreciate that!”, Eiji said, throwing his arms around Katsuki’s shoulder.
“Argh, this is why I didn’t fucking miss you”, the boy griped.
It was a 10-minute walk to Jirou’s house. When they arrived, Tokoyami, Mina, Denki, and Sero were already there. Bakugou was greeted with joy by them, partly because they were worried about his month's disappearance (but they didn’t express it because they knew it would only make him uncomfortable), partly because they finally had a drummer.
Mina was kicking some ass on Overwatch, while Sero was begging for her to let him play. When the match was over, she gave him the control. The boy died so quickly and so many times it was sad. Denki wouldn’t stop laughing at him. Bakugou met Tokoyami and Jirou in the kitchen and helped them make some appetizers and drinks.
When all was done, they grabbed Kaminari and went to Jirou’s parents’ studio. Mina and Sero would follow them later. The studio had so many instruments it looked like a music store. While everyone was setting up their instruments, Kirishima took an acoustic guitar and started playing. Very. Badly.
“For fuck’s sake, someone take that away from him!”, Katsuki roared while putting the plates on the drums. He saw Dark Shadow fly over them and take the guitar from Eijiro’s hand.
“Sorry, Kirishima. It is for the greater good!”, Tokoyami said from across the room.
“One day, I’ll learn how to play it, and then it’s over for you, bitches!”, everyone let out a laugh or a giggle at Kirishima’s pouting.
Since the school festival, when they realized that they actually could play really well together, it was normal for them to sometimes meet at Jirou’s place like this. They had some original songs she wrote, but most of the songs were covers. It wasn’t like they were really a band or anything, they didn’t have a name or regular practices. But they synced and they had fun doing that. So why stop?
Mina and Sero joined them about 10 minutes later when all the instruments were set and tuned. And just then Bakugou realized something.
“Where the fuck is Ponytails?”, he questioned. In the back, he saw Mina shake her hands in front of her neck. Drop the subject, dude. Drop the subject! Well, too late. He saw Jirou lower her eyes to the floor.
“Yeah, we, hm… We...”, she whined. “We sort of broke up”.
“Shit!”, he said as apologetic as it was possible for him.
“It’s fine! We’re cool! Still friends! But it’s a good thing she is in London for now, though”, she smiled with the corner of her mouth.
“Well, if you need to punch something we can trade places”, Katsuki grinned, offering her the drumsticks.
She laughed but accepted the offer. She needed to punch something. So she handed the bass over to Bakugou and took his place at the drums.
“Are you sure you can take it?”, she taunted at him.
“Are you kidding, Aux Cord?”, he smirked. Of course he could take this.
They played until late at night and only stopped to eat a pizza Sero ordered around eight. Mina, Sero, and Kirishima danced and jumped and clapped and sang along to every song. They also took plenty of photos and videos, memories of the first summer they actually spent together like actual teenagers.
No one dared to talk about what happened a few months ago, nor about their feelings or how they were dealing with things.
They left her house at almost eleven, except for Mina who was going to stay the night over. Bakugou got home at around midnight, and couldn’t believe he was still up.
He was exhausted, but the good type. Even though he had been really tired lately, he still couldn’t rest. His sleep was interrupted by images he tried to forget and by situations he feared would still happen. He rarely got to sleep through the whole night without waking up.
Today, however, after the shower, he fell on the bed still in his underwear. He slept right away, without even getting under the sheets. And no dreams. It was a night filled with the blackness of his own mind. There was nothing and it was fucking relieving.
Looking back to the past, Katsuki didn’t know why he was so hesitant about messaging his friends back. He was happy he found the guts to text Kirishima after all, because maybe he was in need of his friends. He never thought of himself as someone who needed other people to feel good, or “recharge”, but he probably changed without notice, which was understandable, and even expected. Or maybe... he has always been like this, who knows? It was just easier to believe that he wasn’t.