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“Adrien, RUN!”
Marientte’s command registered somewhere in the recesses of Adrien’s brain, and he complied. He ran. He ran like the dickens. He hurtled over a car and hit the ground running even faster. A jolt of pink energy whizzed past his head and he ducked to the right. It missed him by mere millimeters. “Crap,” he muttered, glancing to his left. Half a meter ahead, the energy hit Kim, and the poor kid spun in the air as his body was morphed into an aerosol bottle of Axe body spray. Adrien gulped and ran harder.
“I’ll get you, Adrien Agreste! I’ll get you if it’s the last thing I do!”
He didn’t know what he’d done to tick off Rose so badly that she’d gotten akumatized. He hadn’t even been participating in the conversation at lunch about her newest bottle of perfume. Chloe was the one who’d brought up the whole Adrien, the Fragrance debacle and made Alya do a smell-off. Somehow, and Adrien was in no position to remember how, it had ended with him standing on the lunchroom table while all the girls screamed, “radiant, carefree, dreamy!” and he blushed like a madman. And then Marinette was yelling at everyone and Rose was crying, and then Rose was being enveloped in black and purple energy and was chasing him down.
Another blast of energy narrowly missed him. Mylène spun in the air and dropped to the ground, now a simple bottle of lavender essential oil.
“Hold still!” Princess Fragrance wailed, “I’ll show you what your true fragrance is!”
Adrien rolled his eyes as he ducked behind a car. “Not your best work, Hawkmoth,” he muttered. He needed a diversion so he could get out of here and transform.
“Leave him alone!” Adrien’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that voice! He peeked over the top of the roof to see his Lady, glorious in her red and black spotted costume, swinging in from the school rooftop. Princess Fragrance was momentarily distracted. Adrien should have bolted for the alley at the corner, but he, too, was mesmerized by Ladybug’s curves. She soared through the air and kicked Princess Fragrance, so the latter went sailing over Adrien’s head. That meant that Ladybug, too, soared overhead, and as she did, she looked down at him. For a brief, glorious moment, their eyes met. Those stunning bluebell orbs of hers popped in surprise as he winked. She almost lost control of her yo-yo and slipped several meters.
“Oh, be careful!” he gasped. She shook her head and rectified the situation, hoisted herself back up the yo-yo string, and swung back into action. Princess Fragrance sent volley after volley of pink energy soaring at them.
Ladybug spun her yo-yo as a shield, and turned to Adrien, “You need to get out of here!”
“Yeah,” he muttered, lost in the depths of her eyes. Her mouth seemed to move in slow motion. Her mouth… her beautiful, stunning mouth… plump, pink lips spread over white, perfect teeth… he could watch that mouth all day long.
“Adrien!” she said his name. Adrien sighed. It sounded so good coming out of her mouth! Her perfect, amazing, gorgeous mouth! “Adrien! Move!” Oh crumb. He scrubbed his eyes to rid him of his daydream and looked around again for an exit. Distraction! He still needed a distraction! A distraction other than Ladybug’s amazing mouth!
He threw open his messenger bag and started looking for ideas. A pencil case, an extra piece of camembert, a notebook, his cellphone… not much… until, at the very bottom, he found something that sparked an idea. A single, dingy, hideous old bottle of Adrien, The Fragrance. Great. It really was the world’s nastiest smell, but it had been a best seller, so his Father insisted he keep a bottle on him for photo ops. He pulled the little bottle out and palmed it. Then, boldly, Adrien started running toward Princess Fragrance and the nearest exit.
“Adrien,” Ladybug gasped behind him, “what are you doing? That’s not safe!”
“Hahahaha!” Princess Fragrance cackled, “Time to see what you’re really made of, Adrien!”
Adrien stole a glance backward and saw Ladybug squeeze her eyes shut just as Princess Fragrance shot a bolt of pink energy in his direction. Perfect. He ducked and rolled at just the right second, tossing the bottle of cologne and flying under a bus. He dodged out the other side and was out of sight in a secluded alcove before anyone realized he was no longer in the street. Adrien congratulated himself and quietly called on his transformation, but barely had time to take a breath when he heard Ladybug calling his name: “Adrien? Adrien, where are you?”
Chat Noir scaled the wall to the rooftop—he couldn’t be seen coming from the same direction Adrien had just escaped to—and saw Ladybug padding forward to the last place Adrien had been standing. “A-Adrien?” she gasped, kneeling down in the street, and discovering the tiny glass bottle of cologne that he’d dropped. “Adrien?” she whispered; her voice shaky. And then, picking up the glass bottle and pressing it to her chest, Ladybug looked at the sky and screamed. “AAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!” The word lasted a millennium. It echoed off the moon and bounced back. Every soul on earth lost an eardrum that day. Princess Fragrance, terrified, turned and ran for cover. And Chat Noir? Well, Chat Noir melted into a puddle of pure bliss. Ladybug was screaming his name! She was holding the raunchy little bottle of minty perfume to her chest—her lovely, perfect chest, in her gorgeous, perfect fingers. She was holding his perfume bottle. The perfume bottle she thought was him. She was freaking out because she thought he was the cologne bottle. The only thing that could have made him happier in that second was if he actually was the cologne bottle that she was fawning over, which made Adrien wonder—were the perfume bottles self-aware? Maybe they didn’t have feelings still. But if they did, oh, what would that be like? To be in her hands right now? To be held so tightly and feel her tears coursing down his back?
Agreste! He barked at himself, get it together! She’s waiting for your help! Chat Noir did a summersault off the rooftop and landed on all fours. “Milady? What’s the matter?”
“Sh-sh-she killed him!” Ladybug wailed, her fingers trembling so badly that she nearly dropped the tiny bottle.
“Is that—” he started.
“A-A-Adrien!” Ladybug was completely beside herself. She started tugging at her pigtails and was drawing in a big breath to start screaming again. As fun as it had been to hear her scream his name, he really needed to end this before she fell apart entirely.
“It’s ok,” Chat Noir soothed, rubbing her back tenderly. “I’m sure he’s fine. We just need to get the akuma and he’ll be back before you know it.”
“You don’t get it, Chat,” Ladybug spluttered, “she killed him! She killed Adrien!”
Chat’s heart swelled in his chest. She’d never panicked like this before. Did this mean that she liked Adrien more than the average Joe? “Ladybug, why don’t you let me hold on to the bottle—”
“It’s Adrien!”
“Ok, let me hold on to A-Adrien for now.” He held out his open hand. “I’ve got pockets, and you can go chase down the akuma.”
She eyed him warily, then hesitantly agreed. “You’ve got to protect him with your life,” she commanded, and he crossed his heart with a claw. She carefully placed the bottle in his paw, then leaned in to kiss it carefully on the lid before backing up. Chat Noir was internally squealing. He tucked the bottle against his chest and zipped the pocket closed.
“There,” he started, but a look of steely determination crossed her face.
“She’s going to pay.” Ladybug was off, and she was terrifying. Chat Noir tried to keep up, but in moments, Ladybug pulled so far ahead that Chat had to open his catphone to track her. He arrived in the plaza just in time to see Ladybug engage with Princess Fragrance in hand-to-hand combat. It was unusual to see Ladybug fight like this—her lip curled up in pure outrage, her fists flying, her knees and feet joining the action. Ladybug was always the kind of hero who remembered that the villains were victims too, especially people like Rose, and never did something to really hurt them. Not today. Today, it was an all-out, dirty, hair-pulling, biting, scratching, screaming brawl. Chat Noir really had to focus to avoid getting lost in her fury. Ok, so he totally got lost in her fury. But what a thing to lose himself in! Ladybug was destroying Princess Fragrance, all because she thought that he’d gotten hit with the pink energy beam!
But he couldn’t let it go on. Ladybug was turning positively feral. She’d be embarrassed at herself in the end if he didn’t step in. “Ladybug!” he called. She ignored him. “Ladybug, stop!” Still no response. He saw his opening. “Cataclysm!” Chat Noir raced toward Princess Fragrance’s perfume bottle, eager to end this thing, but Ladybug threw herself in front of him with her arms open wide.
“No, Chat, stay back! You have to protect him!”
“Ladybug!” he squawked, “step aside!”
“You have to protect him!”
“I will, just let me end this!” Ladybug looked at him with watery eyes, and finally stepped aside. He heard her call for her lucky charm, but he used the moment to destroy the akumatized object. In a matter of seconds, it was all over. Rose was kneeling on the ground, completely confused, and Ladybug marched over and held her hand out to Chat Noir, expectantly, still holding her lucky charm in the other hand.
“Give him to me.”
“What?”
“Give me Adrien!”
“Ladybug,” he groaned, “That’s not a good—”
“Give it!”
“Shoot,” he muttered under his breath, removed the bottle from his pocket, and dropped it in her palm.
“Miraculous Ladybug!” she cried, throwing her lucky charm, and staring at the bottle in her hand. The sparkling ladybugs danced over the city, but the old perfume bottle remained a perfume bottle. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. “No! NO! It’s broken! My magic is BROKEN! AAAAAADDDDRRRRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!”
She was back to hysterics. There was only one thing Chat Noir could do. He bolted for the nearest hiding place, dropped his transformation, dodged around the other direction, and whistled softly as he strolled into the plaza. “Ladybug?” he called. She turned around, her eyes puffy and tearstained, and a relieved smile stole across her face.
“Adrien!” she hiccupped. He ran to her and she threw her arms around him. He’d never felt more in love. “I thought you were gone! I thought she killed you! I thought the magic was broken and you were dead f-f-forever!”
He ran his fingers through her pigtails, “I’m fine, I’m right here! I used the bottle as a diversion and was able to get to safety!”
“O-o-oh?”
“Yeah, I’m right here!”
“Oh!”
He held her for a long while, until her earrings started beeping. She stepped back and looked at him sheepishly. “I’m s-sorry,” she muttered, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. He cleared her cheeks of tears with his thumb.
“It’s fine. Here,” he said, closing her fingers around the bottle, “why don’t you hold on to this? So you’ll know I’m ok?”
She looked at the garish bottle and back at him. Her earrings beeped once more. “Really?”
“Definitely,” he nodded, “but you don’t really think my true inner scent—whatever that means—is this hideous fragrance, do you?”
“H-hideous? I think it’s nice.”
“Nice? No way, I’m totally darker. If I’d gotten hit, really, I’d totally be something muskier and richer, like leather and mystery and—” shoot. Adrien, your Chat Noir is showing. He shook his head to regain control of his tongue, “—and something like that.”
“Really?” Her earrings were beeping in earnest. She fingered them nervously, “I’ve got to go. But, I’m glad you’re safe.”
“I’m fine,” he reassured her, and sighed as she touched his cheek one last time and zipped over the rooftop.
Later that day, when they all returned from lunch break for class, Adrien couldn’t stop thinking about Ladybug, about the tears she shed for him, and about her relief when she saw he was ok. And, he was quite sure he imagined it, but he thought he smelled that cologne wafting from behind him—a reminder of Ladybug and their moment together.