Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You did not have many friends. You were never very good at making friends, and it took a lot more effort to have a friendship than you were usually willing to expend. You had Mia, though. You were pretty sure Mia was not a great person, but you had the people from your GSA, Tess, Dulice, and Mia, who did her best to include you in things, so you would take what you could get.

You didn’t want to live in the dorms anymore. Your roommate last year had a tendency to be very, very loud, and was confused by the fact that you did not want your eardrums burst. They were nice, if loud, so you left it alone. You couldn’t bring yourself to bother them. You did not want a repeat.

Mia offered to let you move in with her, if you clean up around the house. You thank her. It might not be free, but it is better than having to get a job to pay for it. Unless this goes really, really poorly.

You meet her roommates. They are… all skeletons. And related. And dating Mia. You do your best to not be afraid, but they already seem somewhat awkward around you to outright hostile, so you think that the little bit of fear you see at the unusual isn’t the only thing wrong in this relationship.

Sans is threatening. He does his best to ignore you, but he has already told you to stay away from his brother. You tell him the same thing as you told Stretch. “I’m not leaving. I don’t care what your problem with me is, but I am not leaving. I will do my best to coexist peacefully with everyone here, and I will not bother him, but I’m not just going to stop him from spending time with me. You can talk to him yourself.” He takes this with some measure of grace. He is usually in the basement which is very much off-limits. All you could see the one time you ended up down there was a bunch of machines. You tell him, if there are no bodies there, or monsters locked down there, it’s not your business.

Papyrus is a sweetheart, but he’s a bit too pushy for you. He goes on about “FRIENDSHIP!” and”KINDNESS!” and “THE REDEEMING POWER OF SPAGHETTI!” You do your best to be kind, but chasing down friendships has never gone well for you, and the emphasis Papyrus puts on it makes it uncomfortable to be around him. The spaghetti is delicious.

Stretch is even worse than Sans. Not by much, but he is around more often. He is possessive of his brother in a way that makes you a bit homesick, or disturbs you. He takes it too far. He threatened you too. He told you to “drop the act.” You look him dead in the eye. You tell him that you cannot, with half a broken laugh in your voice. You do not tell him that you broke yourself down, so you could fit in a box, and that you might have been doing worse beforehand. You do not tell him that you are depressed. You do not cry. He stares at you, and walks away. You are on the edge of tears that night, but they do not fall. They never seem to, anymore.

Blue is a painful sort of naive. It does not take very much, but you thought you were past that with people a couple of years ago. Well, he is a monster. They do seem to be a lot… more of whatever they are than most humans. He is not comfortable around you for very long. You think that this is the only reason that things between you and Stretch are mildly hostile, instead of actively terrible. You are not sure that you made the right choice, but you made a commitment. You’ve made yourself miserable for less important things than a stable living situation.

Edge is a menace. He is annoying, loud, and overtly threatening. He hasn’t hurt you, though. That is something. He is demeaning and doesn’t seem to care for anyone but Mia and his brother. The way he cares for Sans is strange, but it is there. You have asked Mia to get her boyfriend under control too many times by this point.

Red has left you alone. He hisses at you if you bother him, but you do the same under stress, so you can’t blame him. He has been more awful while drunk (on mustard, why?), But you just figure that he is a product of an environment, and you don’t get drunk enough to be able to tell what’s acceptable behavior.

Black is actively trying to ruin your life. You do not like Black. He is conniving and he likes to aim his sabotage towards you. You are not sure why. You think it might be Mia’s fault but you do not have much of a reputation to sabotage. You told him, flat “Don’t hurt my chance at college, and I’ll leave you alone.” He has not tried. Might not work out for you, but you can't bring yourself to care about social sabotage. Can’t be worse than middle school.

Rus is a mess. He leaves you alone. He threatened you once. You didn’t enjoy the experience. You think he might be a drug addict.

Mia is not a good person, but she is a help. You are fine here. It is not too terrible. You are fine. You are fine. You are fine.

Chapter Text

It has been a hard week. Mia made you stitch up an entire dress for her. Well, not made, but the pressure was there, even if the intent wasn’t. And you failed a test. You will do your best to make it up, but it sends the worst low grade stress down your spine. Heh. Puns.

Edge has been particularly nasty. He called you a filthy prostitute, once. Never again.

You are not fond of the fact that Mia is probably sleeping with men other than the skeletons. This is not due to a disdain for casual sex, although you tend to avoid indulging. But everyone in a relationship should be aware. And STD’s are a problem. Can monsters get STD’s? Another question for… the internet. Anything else will probably backfire.

You do not like that some women are forced into sexual occupations, whether through financial strain, or… more directly. And you have been waiting for a while to talk about this.

“What is it, exactly, that you have against sex workers, Edge? People who are forced, one way or another to sell their bodies, or those that do not have a problem with it, or their bodies. It is not an insult to me. It is an insult that you would use their title in such a fashion. I am sure you are somewhat creative, strive for a personal insult next time.”

You are sure he was shocked. You did not care. You turn around and stare him straight in the eye sockets. “And if you continue to deride those in terrible situations, I will be forced to smack you in the face. Rather hard.”

You stride out of there, and head to your bedroom. You see Red standing there. Right. Flip. You just threatened and insulted his brother. He tells you that he will not let you hurt his brother. You tell him that you will not, unless he makes the first move, and that you will apologies tomorrow. He looks at you in confusion.

“Ah, right. Well, I trade almost entirely in empty threats. Keeps me from smacking people for real. That isn’t very polite. Neither is threatening, but hitting people is pretty illegal, so. Yeah. Tomorrow. I’ll just let him think. He shouldn’t say that kind of thing.”

He nods at you, and walks off.

You apologize when you see Edge the next day. Tell him that empty threats are stress relief, but that he shouldn’t do that, either. Call it even? He nods, and you get ready for class.

Chapter Text

You are very concerned. Your anti-depressants are missing. What if someone ate them? It was a nearly full bottle, and that’s not cheap either. You ask Mia if she’s seen them. She tells you no. Rus tells you he didn’t peg you for an addict. You tell him that you will fight him later. He laughs. Sans stares at you with confusion in his eyes. Papyrus asks you if you are okay. You tell him that you are managing. He does not look significantly better. Red tells you that he thinks that Blue took them. You run.

You are too late. Blue tells you that he has saved you from the drugs with a gleam in his eye. You sigh, and tell him that he has dumped your medicine. He looks at you in shock. You ask him why he thought that he should toss your pills. He has a very energetic spiel about all of the media he has watched. You thought it might be something to this effect. He then tells you that he will help you get better, if you want. You bristle. You do not like the insinuation that depression is something you can just fix. You tell him that you cannot simply power through depression, that it is circumstance, and thought patterns, and the amount of happy chemicals your brain produces, which is determined by parentage. You tell him your mother was depressed, and both your grandfathers, and two of your uncles. There are more, but you do not care to name them all. You tell him that they were prescribed to you by a doctor, that your mother took medicine too. You have to explain to him that you are also seeing a therapist, who is someone you go to in order to talk about your problems.You tell him that the medicine will not fix it, that brains are complex things, that it is just about feeling better. He asks why people make it seem bad. You tell him that if they are not prescribed, or if the therapist takes a bad guess as to what will help you, it can be destructive. You tell him that this medicine is helping you, and that it would be better if there was a more varied portrayal, but you are not in charge. He apologizes. You tell him that it is fine, that he should ask others, preferably human adults, who will know if I need help. You tell him that you are glad that he cares for you. You tell him that he owes you ten dollars.

You will talk to the rest of the monsters about depression later. But you have studying to do. And Mia. She should have had this conversation. She knows that you have depression. It was a bit of an offhand complaint, about how much depression exhausts you, which took forty-five minutes of your half hour study session. You got to class on time. Barely. But it is not her problem to teach her boyfriends. It would be a big job.

Stretch appears outside your door fifteen minutes later. You did not hear him come in. You have chalked this habit up to monster shenanigans. You ask him why he is here. He asks you why you are charging his brother for dumping your drugs. You, with a tired expression, tell him that they are medicine, that you are charging his brother the cost of the medicine. That if his brother tries to be a hero, that he should think before he acts. You tell him that given these misconceptions, you will have no choice to introduce everyone in the house to the finer points of depression. He stares at you. You tell him that it would be around a hundred dollars, but that insurance is a big help. He stares at you. You close the door.

Chapter Text

Ms. Glass loves you, so you get to borrow her classroom for a couple hours. She won’t be there, but you aren’t going to throw a wild party or anything. In fact, holding a presentation on depression could be considered the exact opposite of a wild party. But it is happening.

All of your housemates are here. You don’t want to be too vengeance-focused, but you’ve learned that you like shoving your suffering into others faces, and letting them deal with their actions.

Papyrus shows up first. You tell him to sit down. He asks why you are here. You tell him that there was a bit of confusion about humans with your housemates, and that it directly impacted you, and that you wish to clear it up. He nods, and sits down. Blue and Stretch come next. Blue looks uncomfortable. Stretch looks angry. You smile at them. Edge arrives next, with Red. Neither of them look happy to be here, but Edge takes duty very seriously. Sans just… appears in the back. You are glad you decided to stop trying to figure this out. Mia comes in barely before time, with Rus in tow. Nobody else looks happy to have them together. Eh, you’re not an expert in poly relationships. You’re not an expert in depression, either, but you have more experience with depression than anyone else in this room. Well, helpful experience. You are not sure, but many of them could. If monsters have mental illnesses. Black shows up a couple of minutes late, and seems upset that you haven’t started yet.

You tell them all that you are here to clear up a couple of misconceptions. You tell them that somebody dumped your antidepressants, trying to help you, which was kind, but ultimately misguided. Everyone turns to stare at Blue. You shrug and move on. You tell them that you have depression, and that you got the pills from a doctor. You tell them that mental health medicine is often portrayed negatively because people can become addicted to opiates, and the idea that you can simply sort out your own brain problems. “Which is,” you say with a hiss in your voice, “not helpful to anyone.” You see some people start to protect their brothers, and Rus tries to shield Mia. You take a deep breath, apologize, and move on. Your tone is a bit overly positive, with a hint of bite, but you are not trying to scare anyone.

You tell everyone that depression can be genetic. Depression isn’t an illness, not something you can catch. Just your brain misbehaving on you. It is genetic, because you inherit your brain data from your parents. For you it mutes everything, makes things less important. Everything is grayer, or something like that. You don’t have the right words for it. Less intense. You can become more irritable. It saps your energy. It can make it hard to sleep, or make you oversleep. It can alter your appetite. It can cause you to feel guilty, worthless or helpless, which can lead to you believing that there’s no point in living anymore, leading to suicide or self-harm, such as cutting. Thinking that you don’t deserve to live, or something like that. Everyone is staring at you in horror, except Blue, who is looking at Stretch.

“But, uh, I haven’t hurt myself. And I’m fine on self worth. So just don’t dump my meds, or accuse me of drug dealing and we’ll be fine.” Not the smoothest come back, but probably the most appropriate.

Papyrus asks you what suicide is. You might have died a little on the inside. You tell him that suicide is killing yourself. He asks you why they would not have fallen down already. You tell him that humans do not fall down. People have died of despair, but that was usually just suicide in a terrible situation. Like the Holocaust. You tell them that you will not be explaining the Holocaust today. You ask, barely pulling your face into a smile, if there are any other questions. Blue apologizes, and hugs you. Just, full-on tackle hugs you. While crying. Somehow. You don’t catch anything after that, but you sit down, and pat his head, and tell him it’s alright, while trying not to look at anyone else in the room. Stretch eventually pries him off you, and he resumes yelling at his brother without a second though. Red comes up to you and asks you if he could get some of those drugs. You roll your eyes, but he looks a bit desperate. You tell him that he’ll need to see a therapist. Talking is the first step. Then they’ll see if he needs medicine. He looks worried. You tell him that you think of it like acting, trying to draw the biggest resonance while sticking to the script, but he doesn’t have to tell his therapist everything right away, he can figure out what works for him, he can try out lots of different therapists, and that there is no shame in it. You do not tell him that the depression took most of your shame along with your tears. He looks at you with a strange look in his eyes, and thanks you. You tell him that you aren’t sure if monsters have compatible medications, because of the whole “Falling Down” issue. He asks if he should be dead. You tell him that he should not, if he asks you, and that it doesn’t matter one way or the other, because he is alive. He thanks you again. You smile.

Chapter Text

Things are better now. Being sad has always gotten you what you wanted.

Okay, that sounds wrong. It was only once, or so, and not on purpose. And it’s better than bottling up your complaints. Better? Yeah, You think so.

You can’t believe it took this long. Or that you didn’t get out earlier. You might still not be in a good place, but everyone seems to be calmer, at least. Except Black. Who is calling you out for being sexually active. You think. Oh, wait. Mia brought some guys over. Let them make their own assumptions. Or blamed you straight out. Ah, well. You don’t care what people do behind your back. If you did, you would have had a problem with Black long before today. You inform him that it is none of his business who you sleep with, assuming that your partner is an adult, you are both consenting, and there is no vast power difference. That the only issue with sleeping with someone that someone who has shown as little interest in being your friend as Black has is if you were already in a relationship, which is just common decency. But you would not have sex with someone outside of your relationship without your partners consent. And you are not in a relationship. He tells you that his problem is when you bring someone over to their house. You tell him he has a good point, but that you have never brought anyone to their home to sleep without asking. You tell him that Mia had something of a reputation for it, but you thought she stopped now. You confirm that they have not discussed having an open relationship, like, at all? Which you strongly caution him to do. You can tell that the relationship makes everyone a bit tense, when they aren’t having sex on various pieces of furniture. Black blushes a brilliant violet. You tell him to wipe it down when they're done. He nods at you in confusion and embarrassment. You’ve learned more about monster biology than you cared to from walking into the kitchens too late at night. You just leave. It’s easier. But you also tell him that you mostly sleep with girls, so you would ask other people if there's a guy. He nods.

Chapter Text

Papyrus keeps finding you cleaning. Yeah, you’re cleaning. It’s practically a job, and it’s less stressful than having to deal with paying for the dorms. You don’t mind it. It’s a bit much, but learning how to keep house will still be useful. Except the sheets. You are glad that Black passed that message along. You are tired of having to clear your mind, and wipe everything in this house down. You do not like to think about it. You do not cook often, Mia expects the house to be mostly clean, or you to be working. At least she doesn’t seem to be much of a clean freak. If she was, she probably wouldn’t have one of her friends playing maid.

As far as you can tell, no one really cares who’s cleaning up, as long as it isn’t them. You would assume that it’s a gender thing, but as far as you know, monsters don’t care about that. Like, at all. So it wouldn’t be that. Maybe the  underground was different. You can’t really tell anything about it, given the variance in personality. Has to be huge to fit all the monsters, and developing so many… cultures. Yeah, sure. That works.

Papyrus and Blue clean the kitchens after they cook. Everyone cleans their room. You run laundry. Everyone has seen you cleaning, but Papyrus just… keeps showing up? You aren’t sure why, but it keeps happening. For weeks. He looks pretty confused. And there he is again. Might as well ask.

You do. Papyrus looks uncomfortable. He tells you that he thought that Mia was going to clean the house. You tell him that she told you that she would give you a place to live in exchange for cleaning up a bit. You tell him you don’t mind. You tell him that it is a good place, although it isn’t quite friendly. He looks ashamed and embarrassed. He tells you that he did not mean to make you feel badly. You tell him that he is the sweetest person in this house. You tell him that if he wants to make you more comfortable, that he should stop talking about friendship so much. You tell him that you would love to be friends, if he wants, but that you would prefer to keep it… small. Not a lot of introductions to other people. You do not like having to spend a lot of time making friends. It is not a pleasant activity. Papyrus looks sad. He then asks you why Mia never told him that you were cleaning. You bite your tongue on your suspicions. You tell him, instead, that you do not care who  knows that you are cleaning, as long as they clean up any… mess they make. He blushes at your hesitance on mess. You ask him why his blush is orange. He runs away. You wonder what else you were expecting.

Chapter Text

Red needs your help with therapists. Well, whatever. He wasn’t awful to you, and he needs help. You think you would probably help anyone if they needed it. Even Edge. He tells you that he doesn’t want to go somewhere where the people will be racist. You tell him that racism is hard, that it is the way your brain sorts things, and every reaction out of place, and every comment, and everytime you make someone out to be less than human, or monster? Person? Is racist. You tell him that the danger of racism is in grouping people, telling yourself that they are less than, not worthy of respect, and that you do not need to care for them, that allows you to do whatever you want to them. He tells you that he just wants to go to a place where they won’t hurt him for being a monster. You blush, and tell him that you don’t think anyone will hurt him for being a monster. He asks you why you are red. You tell him that it is something about blood rising to the surface of the skin. He nods. You tell him that monster therapists are the best place to start, but then to move on to human therapists who support monsters, and then those who do not take a stance. He asks you what will happen if they are faking it. You tell him that you doubt anyone would, that you could look through their pages, that if it was non-malicious, he would probably be fine, but if it mattered, he could have his brother come with him. Or Blue, or something. He asks if you will. You tell him that you will, if he needs help. He nods.

Rus asks you next. You tell him that he could just ask Red. He asks you if you will go with him. He doesn’t want anyone to know. He threatens you. You shrug, and tell him that you would be fine with that, if he isn’t comfortable. It is not comfortable. Someone asks if you are dating. Rus replies no so fast you think you might have gotten whiplash. You tell them that you’re just good friends, and smile. He asks you why you lied. You tell him that saying “we live together” would not end the questions any quicker. He nods.

You think you’ll have to do it again with him sometime. The people there didn’t seem awful, but they weren’t friendly. You offered to help, but he just tells you that he needs a buddy with a strange look in his eye. You nod. Might as well, anyway.

Papyrus is confused about the fact that you volunteer at a pet shelter. Maybe, once every couple of weeks? He told you that he did not think you were a nice person. You feign a hit to the chest and gasp dramatically. He looks very concerned. You pull your hand back and tell him that you were just joking. You tell him that you didn’t mean to upset him. You ask him why he thought that. He tells you Mia said something about you needing a place to stay, but not being the most kind. You roll your eyes. He tells you that Sans did not like you. You ask if Sans likes anyone. He laughs, a bit, and tells you that he does not know, but that he’s usually better at acting like it, anyway. You tell him that he can talk to you, if he wants. He also tells you that you don’t seem too friendly. You tell him that you are not often interested in socialization, but that you know it is always more important to help someone in crisis, and the things that you think are important are easy to do. You tell him that you usually feel more like reading or sowing, or drawing than talking. That the worst you can get out of those things is a couple of cuts. You tell him that socializing backfires will haunt you for the rest of your life, and hurt. He apologizes for trying to befriend you. You tell him that it isn’t a good thing to isolate yourself, either, but that it does not help to just tell people that. Unless you are a therapist. He asks you what a therapist does. You tell him that they talk people through their problems. Like depression. He asks you how talking helps you to do that. You tell him that they help you with figuring out what helps, like spending time with family, or reading, and what makes it worse, like reading sad things, and talking about things going on in your life or things that have happened to, from something as simple as lying to someone you care for about staying up late, to something as big as noticing that you’re being abused. You tell him that you will not explain abuse to him, or the Holocaust. He tells you that he asked someone, and that it did not seem so terrible. You ask him who it was. He points you to a sight for misinformation. You tell him not to trust that. He asks you why someone would do that. You tell him because some of them might believe it, and some of them could be playing a joke. He tells you that it is even worse than most of Sans puns. You nod. You set him up with a couple of books, and tell him to talk to you if he has questions. You check in with him two hours later, and hug him until you think to call Mia over. He asks you to stay with him until she comes. Mia is not very good with feelings, so when he asks you to stay too, you simply ask him if he wants her to hug him. He does, but tells you to stop stroking his ribs. You observe how orange his face is, blush and decide not to start touching monsters without asking. You did not mean to prompt this. He asks you how. You tell him that they did not consider them people, which made it easier to kill them. He asks in a quiet voice, if this is like the six souls. You tell him that you need to leave now. You google it. You learn that there were six humans killed by the monsters, and that two of their royals are in jail for it. You learn that there was a human who set the monsters free. You proceed to scream into a pillow. Edge comes to see why you are threatening him, and you just tell him to go ask Papyrus. You curl up, and decide to ask Rus in the morning.

Chapter Text

Red tells you that death was normal. You ask him how his therapy is going. He laughs, and tells you that it is nice to be surrounded by slightly hostile people instead of murderers. You ask if Blue and Papyrus were just really sheltered mob kids, or what. He laughs, a lot, and tells you to ask Sans. You resolve too.

Sans muses that it was about time someone figured out the missing kids. You ask in a tone higher pitched and louder than any he has heard you make “They were kids? The six people that were killed by two royals were kids? Why? What happened? At least tell me it wasn’t painful and that the families received the bodies. He tells you no, that the bodies were gone and asks you what humans do with bodies, since they are too large to spread. You tell him that bodies do not disappear, that given enough time they will turn into a skeleton and dust. You correct yourself. You ask him how long they were under the mountain. He tells you it was about two hundred years. You tell him that you are sorry that that happened to him, and asking why they could not wait until the humans died. He tells you that if you really want answers, you can talk to a human about them. He tells you that they are mute. You ask if they are comfortable with text. He stares at you. You tell him that you are more familiar with deafness. He tells you that texting should be fine. Frisk is very friendly, up until you broach the subject you have been meaning to talk about. You tell them that they do not have to tell you anything that they are uncomfortable with. They text you back thirty minutes later, telling you that when they have calmed down enough to compose themselves they will. You apologize profoundly. You then go to yell at Sans for not telling you his friend was shy about the topic. You run into Black on the way there, who asks you what you are doing. You tell him. He flinches, and moves out of your way. You ask him about the dead children. He asks you if you have heard of the multiverse theory. You ask him if everyone is from a separate universe. He laughs and tells you that the pairs of brothers are from the same one. You tell him that you thought that Red and Edge might be a part of the same universe as him. He tells you that they don’t have the smarts. You laugh.

You go and yell at Sans for not telling you that his friend was sensitive. Somewhere in the conversation, he reveals that it is the same child who let the monsters free of the mountain. You barely restrain yourself from smacking him. Instead you sigh into your hands for longer than you previously thought was possible and threaten to smack him. You do not explain why, or redact your promise, you just walk out of their full of rage. You bus to class, and simmer.

Chapter Text

There is a noise. In the basement.

You are very much not going in there. There is too much nonsense happening around you for you to check on the threat in the basement when you have been explicitly warned against it.

Well, no one’s here. Oh, yeah. They all went to that play.

Oh, there’s Stretch. Not great, but we’re at least okay enough for me to ask him to check out the strange stuff in the basement. Not under any other conditions, but with the nonsense going on.

You bust into his room and tell him that there are noises in the basement. He asks you why you are bothering him. You tell him that there are noises from the basement. He reluctantly gets up, and asks you if you want to follow. You tell him that you are not supposed to and are perfectly fine not going down there. He tells you that he could use some backup. You agree, albeit reluctantly.

So, no intruders behind the door. No intruders on the stares. Yes intruders in the  basement. They look a lot like Sans and Papyrus, albeit larger, and severely injured. How is Sans still walking with that hole in his head. You try for a friendly greeting. You are greeted with an axe a few inches from your head. You book it. Bone attack. Fun. You call for help. Stretch puts up a wall. You have enough time to breathe for a moment. By the time you have managed to process this conversation, they are talking about their plans to...eat you? Hahahahahah, no thank you. You ask them if they only eat humans or if they can have monster food, because you would prefer not to be eaten. They all stare at you. Stretch facepalms. Sans-guy agrees reluctantly. You get some chips and slide them through the bones. It works. Both (new) brothers stare at you, Stretch tells you that you should go now. You agree, but not before you see an injured little girl slump through the portal. Stretch opens up a gap between the bones, and slides her lightly over to you. You grab her, run up the stairs, set her down, grab Red’s keys, grab your purse, and book it to Red’s car. You don’t have your own car, but you do have a driver's license, which is good because you are breaking all the speeding laws today. 

You finally have a minute to check in with the girl to check that she is, in fact, conscious. You focus on trying to keep her that way. You ask her if she feels like she is going to close her eyes. She tells you that she wants to, but that she doesn't think that she should. You ask her if she wants to hear you talk. She tells you that as long as there aren’t any monsters in the stories, that she’ll be fine. You decide to tell her about the time you tried to use aloe to heal the aloe plant, and other such stories. You nearly mention the monsters quite a bit, and the little girl tells you that Toriel and the flower were kind of nice, but that she thinks that the flower wasn't trying very hard, and that Toriel tried to kill her. You do not like any of these implications. You decide to ask her about her parents. She tells you that her grandma raised her, and you ask her how she liked her. She tells you all about her grandma, up until she found a hole… and a flower… at which point you take over, rambling about the time you learned about bartering and got absolutely cheated. She tells you her name is Aliza at some point. A cop pulls you over. You tell him that there is a girl who is injured and you are not waiting. He gets back in his car. You make it to the hospital.

You carry her into the ER. You set her down lightly on a sofa. You are speckled with blood. You tell the froggit manning the counter that you have an injured person, who would prefer to be treated by monster doctors. They gesture at the equal treatment sign. You tell them that you do not mind, but you have a traumatized child who just said that she was nearly killed by one of the two kindest monsters in Underground, so you really don’t think that prejudice is the point. He nods. There is a doctor along before too long, and you hold Aliza’s hand until she gets pulled away. One of the nurses asks you about your daughter. You tell her that she is not your daughter, but that you found her, and that it was your responsibility to take care of her. She nods, and asks you if you will be adopting her. You tell her that you are not in a place to adopt, but that you don’t think that there is any family available. She tells you that she doesn’t think so, that she reminds her of Frisk and Chara, two children who had come by before, and that there would be a family for this girl, but she asks you questions. You do not know the answers to most of them, but you try your best.

You text Stretch and tell him that you brought the girl to the hospital. He asks if she is okay. You can only hope so. He tells you that you can’t go home for a couple more hours. You ask him if you will have to sleep in the hospital. He tells you that he will put the charge for a room on Classic’s bill. You tell him that you don’t mind. He tells you that he feels poorly for the way he has treated you, and the way Sans has treated you, and that you nearly got murdered today, so you can have a nice hotel room. You laugh, and ask a doctor to check you over. They do, and tell you that you are fine. You sit down and peruse hotels nearby. You find a nice one and send the name over, and Stretch sends you Sans’ credit card information. You insist that he at least ask Sans. You never thought that surviving life or death situations would be this good at sticking people together, but here  you are.

Chapter Text

You are back at the end of the day. Sans glares at you. You tell him that it was not your idea to borrow his credit card. He looks at you with confusion. You tell him that Stretch was supposed to tell him. He asks you why. You tell him that the new houseguests nearly killed you last night, that you had to take a child to the hospital. You tell him that you should probably apologize to Red for taking his car. You stumble across the new guys instead. And Black is watching them. You say hello. You ask them if they are hungry. They nod in befuddlement. You go and grab a couple of bagels to give them. You ask them what their names are. They tell you that they are Sans and Papyrus. You tell them that there is a whole thing, and that there is already a Sans and a Papyrus, so there are other names. You ask them what they would like to be called. They stare at you in silence. You tell them that you do not think that they would like to be called things based off of their world, so you ask them what they like. Papyrus-guy tells you that he likes food, and goes on to wax about pasta, ending in some rather disturbing details about what he used to make into pasta after the famine. You take a couple of deep breaths and ask if the girl was injured because someone tried to kill her for food. Black stares in horror. Sans-guy asks you if you will kill him if the answer is yes. You tell him you would not, and probably could not anyway. He laughs, which sounds like shaking a rusty tin full of broken glass. He asks you why. You tell him that if it is die or be killed there is little shame in picking. Papyrus looks away. You ask them what else they like. There is a long pause. Sans tentatively brings up that he likes the stars. You ask if they would like to be named after planets, because star names are pretty weird. They nod. You say that Sans-guy can be Mars, and Papyrus-guy can be Jupiter. Black laughs. You thought the nicknames were fine. Maybe the prototypes were not great. Fair enough.

Chapter Text

Mia does not want to date Mars and Jupiter. You think that this is probably impolite, but you are not very good at figuring out this relationship. At least now you had some friends. Even if they did try and kill you. You think that given the way Edge and Black acted, it might not have been the first less than peaceful introduction. Jupiter is awkward around you, and Mars just doesn’t seem interested. But Mia tends to spend more time with her datemates than she does with you, and probably more so with Mars and Jupiter around. You cannot quite blame her, but you do wish that they could sort it out so that everyone could move on. There are other places to live. Right now you are just glad that everyone seems somewhat friendly. You have just gotten back from class.

You do not expect Mars and Jupiter to be sitting just outside your room. You invite them in, albeit somewhat reluctantly. You ask them what is wrong. They tell you that they do not feel right in this house. You can sympathize. You ask them why they do not simply leave. They tell you that they do not have the G. You tell them that Sans might provide, if they asked. They thank you, mildly. They do most things mildly.

They get a little house, somewhere near the country. You decide to visit sometime. They are nicer than most of the people that you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Being steeped in death does not make you a bad person, It makes you sad.

But you do not think the skeletons appreciate that. Whatever.  It is not your problem. You do not think it will be much of a problem.

It seems like they are not on good terms with the people from their world, and that they tried to kill Aliza. You just sigh sadly. You can’t deal with all of this. You think.

You do. Of course you do. How could you not. You talk about it, and stitch out your feelings, and cry. You cry a lot. Everyone looks concerned. Ms. Glass asks you if you are okay. You tell her that you saw something really terrible. She hugs you, after asking, and tells you to get a hot beverage. You get hot cocoa, and feel marginally better. Papyrus asks you what is wrong, and asks you if it is worse than the holocaust. You tell him that it is not. You tell him that you are used to the holocaust, but that starving people get to you. He looks at you in terror, and asks about the other starving humans. You tell him that cannibalism is a thing, that it is very rare, that it used to be a cultural thing, but only after death, and that you do not think that there are many, if any instances of people killing for edible corpses. He looks sick. You apologize.

You pull yourself together, sherd by shred. Your therapist looks sick, too. It feels good, to see the awfulness of that… world reflected onto someone else’s face. They tell you that you are kind, and gentle and sweet. They tell you that beings do what they must to survive. They tell you that it is natural to see yourself there. They tell you that it is okay, and that your friends are out, and that Mars and Jupiter are okay. They suggest you go and visit these monsters.

You do. You take care to not mention it, but it spills out of you. You are not comfortable, but they seem more comfortable that you do not take issue with their methods, but instead with their situation.

One day you just tell yourself to suck it up, that they are fine, that everybody is fine, that you cannot do anything, and you slam it into your mind. You repeat it over and over and over until you have pulled yourself together. You know you needed the time to fall apart. Mia hugged you, too, when you were sobbing and staring. Not often, but it helped. She was not so shaken up. She asks you why you grieved so long, if you could have done this at first. You tell her that you do not like bunching your grief up, and that someone needed to mourn. She tells you that she will never understand your strangeness, but that she is glad that you are better now. You laugh. It is a little bitter, but it is fine.

Chapter Text

Sans asks you if he can encounter you. You are very confused.

As it turns out, monsters can pull people’s souls out of their body. But it isn’t something that you should do unless you are in a relationship, without an encounter. You almost ask whether he and Mia have yet, but you think better of it. You do not want to pry.

You allow him to. Four buttons pop up. FIGHT, ACT, ITEM and MERCY. You hit ACT. The options are Check, Talk, and Question. You pick Question, and ask him what the point of it was. He tells you that you have a green soul. You double check, and tell him that you knew. You accept his mercy.

He sits down and tells you that Kindness is green. You laugh. Because you do not think that the person that you have been… the most unkind to should be telling you that. It is bitter. He asks you know. You apologise for being unkind, but that you are not always kind to everyone, even if you are kind to most people. That you will not allow yourself to have people be unkind to you, for you have suffered through that before, and that it does not do good things to you. He says that he could tell. You bristle, because he does not know you near enough to talk about you like that. He tells you that your soul is cracked. You ask him if that means you are dying. He laughs, startled, and tells you that it just means that you aren’t doing very well. You tell him that you could have told him that the day that you moved in. You do not tell him about the empty place in your heart from before then. That feels like oversharing.

He asks you if you would harm his family. You do not respond immediately. You think. You would not do so unprovoked, and you have been provoked before. You like most of them, but if they hurt you, you will fight back to escape the situation. You tell Sans as much. He nods at you.

Chapter Text

Rus comes to you, looking very angry. You really don’t want to hurt him.

He demands to know why you sent him to therapy. He had apparently gone to therapy without your help. You tell him that he sent himself there, and that you think that it could help. You tell him that it helped you, but that it does not help everyone, but that you would try another therapist, even if this one didn’t fit.

He starts pacing. You get the feeling that you will be here for a while.

He tells you that he really liked his therapist, didn’t like to dance around things, good at putting things into perspective. You nod along. He tells you that they got into talking about Mia and his therapist told him that she didn’t think the relationship was healthy. He tells you that she was the carefullest she’s been on any question, but why?

You suggest that it could be that she wasn’t certain or that she was afraid he would leave, which, judging by the look on his face, already happened. You tell him that sometimes people in unhealthy relationships are not able to leave, or do not recognize them, but that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to. You tell him that he should probably tell someone else about it. He asks you. Not really. You get the feeling that he might be short on friends.

Nothing he tells you is a big surprise. Blaming you for stuff, not being attentive, making him feel like he doesn’t care about her. But of course it’s all coated in self blame. You tell him that he should consider going back to his therapist. You also ask if her having other guys in the house was a discussed part of their relationship. He looks at you, very confused. You thought that Black would have told them. You ask if he’s seen guys around, because Black accused you of bringing people here without proper warning, or something like that. You do not tell him that you caught Mia with a guy until he excuses it as Red’s, who you have not seen with any guys in the house and do not have an indication of as gay.

He looks betrayed. You tell him that all of them need to talk to each other. Not just him and Mia, everyone in the house. You even suggest, somewhat reluctantly, to help moderate.

Chapter Text

It seems, somehow, no one actually knows what’s going on. You should have asked Papyrus. At least he only resorts to trickery when necessary. By a certain definition of necessary.

Rus seems to be in the corner. Sans and Papyrus are here for a house meeting, which is close enough. Blue and Stretch are here for… desserts? Somehow. Edge isn’t talking to anyone, Red got the impression that you needed him for something, Black is staring into the void, and you have no idea what’s going on with Mia, but you are not taking any questions until she arrives home.

She thought it was a date. With Edge. You throw your hands into the air and tell Rus he is never allowed to plan anything ever again. Black looks up, confused.

You tell them that you think that there might be problems with their relationship. Edge seems quite offended. Rus tells them that it was his therapist, shying in on himself. You tell them that no one likes to think of their relationship as unhealthy, but that every relationship needs to be open to communication, especially polyamourous ones, given that they break the rules of human society. You still don’t know how monsters work. Much. You tell them that you haven’t seen much communication. Blue says that they talk all the time. You ask what they talk about. You get a list. A long list. Mostly consisting of different kinds of tacos. About half of which are totally inedible. You ask if he ever gets jealous. He looks distraught, and tells you that “THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE COULD NEVER BE JEALOUS… ESPECIALLY NOT OF HIS BROTHER!”

You sigh. Red sighs louder. You tell Blue that everybody gets jealous, and look at Stretch to confirm it. He tells you that it’s pretty normal. You tell Blue that bottling up his emotions is not healthy. Mia makes some joke (at least half) about you trying to steal her boyfriends. You tell her that you are not interested, and that saying things like that will only hurt their relationship. She quiets down.

You tell them that they need to start talking. Even if it’s not to you. Especially if it’s not to you, because you are not a relationship counselor. But if this is what it takes, you will sit down and do your best, because they need to talk to each other. Desperately.

You ask if there are any magic dimension shenanigans they would not feel comfortable telling a therapist. Mia looks shocked. You sink your head deep in your hands and sigh.

You tell them that if they have a problem, they should talk to their partner, or partners. If they can’t, if there’s just not enough time, then it’s probably not a workable relationship. Everyone bristles.

You sigh again, louder, and tell them if they can’t talk to each other, then they need to sort out their issues, and they should probably wait. At least enough so that they can talk about what makes them uncomfortable. Talk to each other. Get relationship therapy. Get personal therapy, and leave you the flip alone. And if they can’t, they aren’t ready for a relationship.

You walk away to the sounds of steadily increasing volume and start to work on your paper. You have had enough.

Chapter Text

They are actually getting therapy. Of all miracles.

Mia is sad. She apparently is not a perfect partner. You kind of figured. She appears to be trying harder. You are glad of that.

The house is louder now. There are a lot of small arguments, and continuations of longer arguments, and one time a… skull manifested. You had to lay out the kid rules “No destruction of property” and “No hurting each other.” Aside from sparring. Because apparently most of the people in this house are into sparring. And not into communication. You sigh again. At least they are communicating. Even if it does seem like something out of an anime. You do not have the time or energy to monitor them, but they seem to be working it out. Mostly. 

Mia is spending more time with the skeletons. Still takes a couple nights on the town. You think that she might be… enjoying herself with others. But it is not your business. And she has not brought any more men into the house, so you don’t have much of an interest. Maybe she just grabbed a nice room for herself and one of her boyfriends.

They haven’t broken up. You don’t think that they will. You do not think that it is necessarily a good relationship, but it is better. They have mostly stopped yelling at you for things you haven’t done. (You still think the amount you had to apologize for denting Edge’s car was too large, but hey, that was your fault. Paid for it too. He loves that car.) 

You check in on Aliza. She seems happier. More comfortable around monsters, which is good because the foster home she’s in has a monster that looks like the king taking care of her. Who probably is the kind. Whatever.

She doesn’t look comfortable around him, but she seems okay. Able to stay. She tells you about how it is such a hassle to get into a school, but that she likes Te. Te is apparently the kings’ kid. They are adopted. They have a yellow and green striped shirt. Aliza has pink and red. It’s cute. Te apparently has gone through something like this, which should speed the process along. You decide not to ask Te what universe they are from. It does not seem like a good one, in any case. The way that they look at you is proof enough. Although that could be from before. You give Aliza your number and you walk away.

Jupiter and Mars are doing better. It seems as though Jupiter is a cook and Mars an engineer. Something to be said for irony, or just practice. You don’t know much about Mars’ choice but he didn’t look particularly comfortable.

You get along well. School’s going well, but you think that you’re not going to come back to this house. It is fine, but you think that leaving this environment for a while would be best. Also it seems like they won’t blame you, anyway.

Even if they do, you don’t think that they could do all that much. Haven’t gained all that much during your stay. Good luck ruining your life, Black. He’s going to need it.

(At least patching up a relationship was good for your mental health.)