Work Text:
Wilbur groaned in frustration as he rubbed his tired eyes. He had been trying to edit a stream, but nothing was coming together the way he needed. It was nearly midnight and he had been working since lunch. He was ready to lose his mind.
The knock at his closed door didn’t help his emotions.
“What do you want?” He shouted angrily.
The door cracked open and Techno’s face appeared in Wilbur’s room.
“First, you shouldn’t be shouting, it’s midnight. Second, you shouldn’t be working, it’s midnight. And third, I come bearing gifts.”
Wilbur eyed him wearily, not ready to trust the late night “gifts” but sighed and turned back to his computer. “Come in then.”
The door slid open enough for the middle child to slip in. He walked to Wilbur’s unmade bed and took a seat, crossing his legs underneath him.
“What’re you working on?” Techo asked.
“Just a video I wanted to upload tomorrow. At this rate I might just chuck the whole freaking computer out the window.”
“Well I don’t see how that would do any good.”
“Shut up. What did you bring?”
Techno smiled and reached into his pocket. Pulling out two of the candy canes Tommy and Tubbo had brought from Niki’s.
“Did Dad really let you take those? I thought he was using them for something.” Wilbur asked, snatching a candy nonetheless.
“I mean, he was in the same room when I put them in my pocket.. So of course he knows. If it mattered that much, he would have stopped me.”
Wilbur rolled his eyes, but grinned at his brother as they both peeled back the wrapping.
It was silent for a few minutes as Wilbur closed his eyes “to let them rest” but then he opened them again and swung his chair around to face the screen. Techno flung himself into a more comfortable position on the bed, seeing as he’d be sticking around for a while.
“So,” Techno started, “What’s the best kind of candy cane?”
“The OG, of course. Are you really gonna waltze into my room and tell me peppermint isn’t far superior?” Wilbur cast an incredulous glance at his pink haired brother.
“No, no, calm yourself, Wil. I was simply making conversation.” He responded with a chuckle.
It was silent for a beat until Techno spoke up again.
“How about those sour patch kid ones?”
Wilbur thought for a moment before typing something, “those are tolerable.”
“Rotisserie Chicken?”
“Absolutely not. Die.”
Techno gave a small smile. “Alright. Oreo?”
“A bit of a disappointment, but if Tommy had one, I’d steal it.”
“You’d steal any candy Tommy had.”
“Valid point.”
Both brothers grinned at each other at the thought of when they had snuck into Tommy’s room the night after Halloween and had stolen quite a bit of the candy. Tommy, ever oblivious, hadn’t even realized. He had just made an offhand comment on the fact that he was so tired the night before, the candy bag had seemed much heavier.
“What about the American soda flavors?”
Wilbur shrugged, “depends on the kind.”
This time Wilbur asked the next question.
“Those awful, American mac and cheese flavored ones?”
There was a hesitation on Techno’s behalf. “I mean… I’d probably try it. You know, for the experience.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“I’m adventurous! What do you think of gravy flavor?”
“Literally nobody in their right mind would like those.”
“Well, you’re just full of opinions today aren’t you.” Techno sassed
“Would you really look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong?” Wilbur spun his chair and stared his brother down.
Techno pulled the candy cane out of his mouth and sat up, imitating the stare.
“There are thousands of things I would love to look you in the eye and tell you you’re wrong for.” There was a pause. “But this isn’t one of them.”
“Ha!”
“Shut up. What do you think of chocolate mint?”
“I refuse to give an answer until I try them because a part of me is repulsed, and the other part is intrigued.”
“Don’t waste your time, they aren’t very good.”
Wilbur raised his eyebrows and the next thing Techno knew, his brother was typing in his credit card number and had bought a box of chocolate mint candy canes.
“You’re impossible.” He sighed as Wilbur slipped the card back to it’s hiding place.
“I’m simply curious. What do you think of those regular fruit ones.”
“No thank you. There’s just something wrong with them. What about pickle flavor?”
Wilbur spun the chair slowly, and slipped the now very sharp, pointed candy cane out of his mouth, “Technoblade. I’m currently holding a shiv, and I can, and will, shank you if you ever speak of that flavor in my presence again.”
“What flavor? Those green, vinegar, pickle ones?” Techno asked, his innocent facade ruined by the cocky grin.
Wilbur jumped to his feet and stabbed Techno's arm with the sharp end of the candy.
A sharp gasp was heard as he jerked his arm away.
“How dare you?!”
“I told you I would. You didn’t listen.”
By now, both boys were standing, weapons at the ready.
And Techno attacked.
The brothers traded insults and comments as they stabbed each other with the sugary weapons. The war showed no sign of stopping, but then a knock was heard at the door, and a very tired looking Philza appeared in the room.
“Boys, I’m so glad you two are hanging out, but could you please keep- what the crap are you two doing?”
He stared at his eldest sons. Both staring at their dad with “caught-in-the-headlights” looks, and both covered in small, red, swollen dots.
“Nothing dad!” they both chimed. But one glance at their hands told Phil all he needed to know.
“Wil, Tech, please stop stabbing each other with candy canes.
“Yes sir!” Techno responded quickly, poking Wilbur one last time before bolting from the room.
“Why that little-” Wilbur started before being cut off by his dad.
“Goodnight, Wilbur. Thank you for being a good example to your brother and listening to what I said.” Phil said, his tone slathered in passive aggressiveness.
Wilbur gave a sigh and turned off his computer. Climbing into bed he pulled his covers on and looked to his dad.
“Goodnight dad, thanks for realizing how amazing I am. I’m glad to be your favorite child.”
A laugh was heard from the hallway as Phil headed back to bed and the lights turned off.
And then all four members of the family were asleep. Two of them covered in itchy red sores.