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"I'm sorry, Tommy," Tubbo stares at him, his eyes unwavering. There's no sign of anything, no regret, no remorse. "If I can't be the next Schlatt, you can't be the next Wilbur," he shakes his head. "We can't let history repeat itself, you know that. This is for L'manberg, Tommy. This is for New L'manberg. I have to do what's best for the country. I have to do what's best for my nation."
Tommy scoffs, wiping away the blood trickling down his nose. Fundy had punched him in the face to get him over here. "Yeah. The best thing for this nation is to get rid of your VP," he snarls, squaring his shoulders. "To get rid of your best friend. To get rid of the person who's been there since the beginning," Tommy meets Tubbo's eyes, and he wishes that Tubbo would look away. Every single one of his features is sharp with confidence, his eyes shining with finality. Tubbo looks so different. Everything about him is different. The way he stands, the way he holds himself. He's so..he's so different. "You're not even gonna say anything?"
"I don't have anything left to say," Tubbo murmurs, his shoulders slouching. "Go on, Tommy. Make this easy for me. This doesn't have to be permanent, you know that. Please," there's a hint of despair in his voice, an overlying tone of desperation. "I love you."
"Not enough," Tommy snarls. "Not fucking enough." He turns away, stalking out of the gates that lead to New L'manberg. He winces with every step, feeling his ribs ache. Fundy beat the shit out of him. Fundy beat the fucking shit out of him, and Tubbo just stood there. He just..he watched. He never tried to intervene, he didn't tell Fundy to stop. He just watched. Tommy drags himself past the walls that Dream raised, turning back to look at his home. His old home, he corrects himself. He doesn't have a home anymore. He locks eyes with Tubbo again, jerking his head up. He tries to carry himself with as much confidence as he can, but Tommy knows damn well that Tubbo sees through that. Tubbo nods at him, standing straight once again. Tommy is the one who breaks eye contact, turning back to keep walking.
His feet drag along the pathway, blisters making him grit his teeth with every agonising step. He hadn't even fucking burnt George's house down! There was barely any damage whatsoever, and he fucking offered to fix it. Tommy was so sure that they had finally won the war, that everything was finally going to be okay. He felt that hope waver when Wilbur blew up L'manberg, but he knew that Tubbo was President. He was so happy, he was so, so proud of his best friend. Everything was finally going okay, and he was going to be right there with Tubbo, every step of the way.
Tommy snorts, his chest aching. He was fucking wrong. He hates himself so much, 'cause he's still so proud of Tubbo. He's still happy for him, Tommy is still glad that Tubbo is the President of New L'manberg. He can't stop being proud of his friend, and he hates it. He can't bring himself to hate Tubbo - he's never been able to. He hates what he's doing. Tommy fucking hates that he's just been kicked out of his home, but he can't hate Tubbo. He can never hate Tubbo. Tommy stares at the forest ahead of him, rage bubbling up inside of his chest. He hates spruce trees so much. He's sick and tired of them.
Tommy doesn't know what to do. He can't go to Techno or Phil, and Wilbur's a fucking ghost. He's a ghost who doesn't remember shit, and Tommy doesn't even want to look at him half of of the time. He doesn't want to go back to Pogtopia, god, he hates Pogtopia. That place was never his home, and it never will be. He hates it so much, it's unbelievable. He isn't going to go back to that hole in the ground, he's never going back there. Not if he can help it. Tommy stops walking when he can't see New L'manberg anymore, throwing himself to the ground. He presses himself up against a tree, letting his head fall back. He winces when his head hits the bark, but it fades quickly enough.
He doesn't know what to do.
No one is telling him what to do, and he doesn't fucking like it.
Tommy hates to admit it, but he's so lost. He's lost without someone with him, he's lost. Wilbur always knew what to do, and Wilbur was always, always right. Every single thing he said, Tommy believed, because he knew it was true. Up until Wilbur lost his mind, there was never a point in time where Wilbur was wrong. And now Wilbur's dead, now he remembers nothing. He leaned on Tubbo when Wilbur died, and now he doesn't have Tubbo. Hell, he doesn't even have Techno! Or Phil! He doesn't even have his own goddamn dad, and he doesn't know what to do. Tubbo gave him hope, he gave Tommy the hope that maybe, one day, he would be welcomed back into New L'manberg. That maybe, if he spent enough time outside of it in exile, he'd be let back in.
Tubbo is lying to him.
Tommy knows that well enough. He wishes that he could pretend like he doesn't, but he can't. Tubbo is lying about letting him back into New L'manberg. Tubbo was never going to let him back. As soon as Dream threatened him, the decision was made. Tommy would've understood if Tubbo had pulled him aside and talked to him. He would have gone along with whatever plan Tubbo made, but no. Tubbo didn't say shit, and instead, he just..he kicked him out. He exiled him. Tommy isn't allowed to go back to New L'manberg without being targeted. Tommy can't go back home, he doesn't have a home, anymore. He'll be killed if he does, and Tommy doesn't know how many lives he has left.
Tubbo only has one left. Tommy wants to be there to protect him. Tommy knows that he's got at least three more, and he can easily get rid of one or two of those if it means keeping Tubbo safe. Who's going to do that now? No one else cares about Tubbo as much as he does. They're not his best friend. Fundy and Quackity won't risk their lives, even if Tubbo's their President. Niki might, but Tommy isn't sure. Tommy wants Tubbo to be okay, and how is he supposed to make sure that he is if he isn't even allowed to be near him?
"Tommy."
"Fuck off," he groans, keeping his eyes shut. "I don't need you to fuckin' lecture me," Tommy crosses his arms. He doesn't want to talk to Phil, not right now. He thought that he'd want to talk to his dad, but he was wrong. He doesn't..he wants to be alone. No, that's not true. He wants Tubbo. God, maybe they should have run away together. Maybe they should have just disappeared into the night. At least then Tommy would have had someone. "What the hell do you want?"
Phil sits down next to him, Tommy can hear the grass crinkle. "Do you remember the stories I used to tell you?" He asks. "About the Antarctic Empire. About the Angel of Death, and the King?" He does. He remembers Phil talking about the Antarctic Empire a lot. "They weren't stories," Phil murmurs. "I was the Angel of Death. Techno was the King. We ruled the world together," Tommy cracks open an eye, turning to stare at his dad. "Don't look at me like that."
"What d'ya mean they weren't stories," Tommy frowns. "You told me those when Techno was like..young." Phil laughs, tilting his head back.
"Techno's twenty-four, Tommy. We had a lot of time before we found you," Phil smiles. "He was about your age when we first set foot on that world. He wanted to conquer it, and so we did," Phil's smile grows a little, and Tommy watches as a fond look passes over his face. "I'm not loyal to New L'manberg, Tommy. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make things complicated. So long as you were in New L'manberg, I would have stayed. But.."
Tommy bites down on his lip, feelings of betrayal rushing through him. His dad wasn't loyal to his country.
Tommy..
Tommy isn't surprised. "I get what you're saying," he murmurs. "I understand. You want me to join you and Techno, and since Techno's a goddamn anarchist, you wanna overthrow the government. You want to get Tubbo out of his position of power. You.." Tommy shakes his head. "I don't want to hurt him. I'm not going to. He's finally happy," he stares at Phil. "He's finally fucking happy. I can't take that away from him."
Phil raises his eyebrows. "If he wasn't the President, he wouldn't have kicked you out. You're really okay with losing your best friend to a piece of land?" Phil asks, and Tommy..he wishes that he could stop considering his words. "New L'manberg doesn't mean anything. With the way Dream's acting, he's gonna burn it down, anyways. You might as well keep it up, but destroy the government. Get rid of the laws in place. You wouldn't have to leave. It would just be a place people lived. Easy."
"I don't want Tubbo to lose his country," Tommy murmurs. "He's happy. He's happy, Phil. He likes being President, and he's a goddamn good one. He's what everyone needs. He's like Wilbur, before he..you know."
"Before he went and blew up his country, I know," Phil smiles. "I get it. I'm not gonna make you do anything, Tommy. But I'm just telling you right now, I'm with Techno. I'm not going to stop him. Whatever Techno has in mind, I'll follow through with it if I think it's a good idea. I'm not going to stop him. I don't want you to be in New L'manberg when he eventually decides to destroy it. I'll make sure that no one is killed."
Tommy swallows back his words, his head spinning. "I don't.." he pushes himself off of the ground, dusting off the grass on his knees. "I can't believe that you'll do that unless I'm there," he forces himself to stand a little straighter. "I'm not going to let anything happen to Tubbo. And If I have to.." Tommy breathes out. "If I have to burn down New L'manberg so he realises what the hell's happening, I..I guess I'll do it." Phil smiles at him, standing up.
"Let's go to Techno's place. He figured that you'd come to see him. When you didn't, he got worried," Phil explains, starting to walk. Tommy follows, exhaling sharply. His ribs burn, and he fucking hates it. He hates hurting. "He's still your brother, Tommy. He loves you."
"He didn't seem to love me when he shot Tubbo in the face," Tommy scoffs. "He didn't even hold any loyalty to Schlatt! Why the fuck would he.." he sighs. He needs to calm down, he knows that. He knows that he has to, but he doesn't fucking want to. He's so angry. "Phil. When I see him, I'm gonna beat the shit out of him."
Phil laughs, tilting his head back. "Tommy, Techno is like, thirty times stronger than you are. He'll kick your ass."
"Don't care," Tommy mutters. "I don't care."
"Listen," Phil stops walking, turning to face him. "You can't get all angsty and shit, okay? I know that you're upset and angry, but you can't be pissy all the time. We'll get you your best friend back, yeah? Just give it some time."
"He's going to hate me," Tommy mumbles. "Tubbo is going to fucking hate me."
"Yeah," Phil agrees. "Sometimes we have to hurt the people that we love so they understand," he sighs. "Sometimes we have to do horrible things so the people we love don't get hurt."
Tommy doesn't believe that. Tubbo is going to hate him for the rest of his life. "I don't think it's worth it," he starts. "Tubbo doesn't hate me right now, but if I burn down his country, he will. He'll never forgive me for that, Phil. He'll never look at me the same way. 'Cause right now, he's just mad at me, yeah? He doesn't hate me. He's just angry and tired, and that's fine. I can deal with that. But if I..if I do this, he'll hate me for the rest of our lives."
"I doubt it," Phil shrugs. "You thought you were gonna hate Wilbur for the rest of your life for what he did to L'manberg, right? Do you hate him?" Tommy blinks.
"..I don't hate him," he breathes out. "I wish that I could hate him. But that's not even fuckin' fair," he scoffs. "He forgot. Tubbo is going to remember. Both of us will. This isn't the same, Phil."
"Do you hate Techno?"
He pauses.
"I don't."
"Then Tubbo won't hate you," Phil shrugs. "He'll get over it. Just give it a bit. It's the best for everyone."
Tommy wishes that he could believe him. But he's got nothing left to believe, and there isn't anything else he can do. This is the only way that he can get his best friend back.
So he'll be there.
He'll be the one to drop the match if he has to.
It's barely been a week since Tommy was exiled, and he feels like it's been years. He lounges across Techno's couch, glancing up at Wilbur every now and then. Wilbur eventually wandered his way into Techno's home, and Tommy is unbelievably happy to see him. He doesn't know why, but he is, so he'll just go with it. "How'd you even manage to find us, big man?" Wilbur blinks, refocusing his eyes. He does that a lot. He'll stare off in the distance for hours, and he'll sometimes talk at nothing. Tommy wonders if there's other ghosts that he can't see.
"Oh, well," Wilbur beams at him, and it's so full of light and innocence. Tommy feels sick to his stomach at that smile. Wilbur has no idea what he did. He doesn't know that he killed people, he doesn't realise that he killed his friends and family. Tommy doesn't plan on telling him. Wilbur deserves to rest, he deserves some fucking peace for once in his life. "A man, ah, Quackity?" Wilbur frowns. "I think that's his name. He told me that you were gone, and then he told me that Phil was gone. I sort of felt like I should leave, too, since everyone one else was leaving. I don't really like that place," Wilbur admits. "It feels bad. I don't know why, but it does. Did something bad happen there?"
Tommy blinks. "A few things, yeah," he shrugs. "We fought a lot of wars for it, so I'm not surprised that you don't like it. There's a lot of good things to it, too," he smiles. "Do you remember the L'mantree?" Wilbur grins, rapping his knuckles against the palm of his hand.
"I do!" Tommy can't help but grin back at him, admiration for his ex-President and brother flooding into his heart. Wilbur means so much to him. It's nice to see him happy again, even if he isn't the same. Tommy wishes that he could have his brother back. He wishes that Wilbur could be the same. That he could go back to being the Wilbur before the election. Tommy misses that. "I do. When did we plant that? You and I planted that, right?"
"Something like that," Tommy doesn't need to tell him that that was the only tree that didn't get blown up. Wilbur barely remembers anything negative, and Tommy's not going to accidentally slip up. "Did you..did you see Tubbo?"
Wilbur nods, smiling a little more gently. "I did! He looks very tired," he sighs. "Why aren't you there with him? He talks about you a lot." Tommy winces at the words.
"I'm not al-"
"Hallo?" Techno sticks his head through the doorway, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. "Mornin' Tommy, Wilbur. Phil wants to talk to us. He told me to come 'nd get you," Techno pauses, nodding once. "Good talk." And then he's gone, his cape flapping behind him.
"Why's he always wear that?" Wilbur asks, grinning. "He looks all pompous."
Tommy laughs, hopping up off the couch. "He's a pompous prick. You might not remember, but he's always been like this. It's ridiculous," Tommy smiles, watching as Wilbur floats through the wall, drifting slowly next to him. "Do you know what Phil wants?" Wilbur shrugs, drifting to walk next to him.
"No. He doesn't talk to me that much. Is he mad at me, or..did I fuck up?"
"No," Tommy assures him. "No. Nothing you did, big man," he lies. "He's just had a lot going on, you know?" Wilbur nods, smiling softly.
"Okay. He's the last thing I remember, did you know that? I was hugging him when I died. I wonder how I died. Do you know?"
"No," Tommy lies again. "I don't. Sorry, big man."
"It's fine," Wilbur shrugs, still smiling. "I wonder if that's why he looks all sad all the time. I might ask him later. Hello!" Wilbur's soft smile turns into a grin as soon as he spots Phil and Techno, his entire posture brightening. "Hi, dad! Hi, Techno!"
"Hey, Will," Phil laughs, propping his feet up on the table. Techno scowls at him, and Phil just sticks out his tongue. "I've got plans. We've got plans, actually. For New L'manberg," Tommy nods, feeling his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach. "We don't want to damage it or anything like that. We just need to make our point, and we have to make it obvious. Will, I think you should..uh, go see if.."
"I think Niki needs help buildin' her bakery," Techno clears his throat. "If you-"
"Niki?" Wilbur's eyes light up. "Are you going to be talking about anything important? What are you doing to L'manberg?"
"A speech," Tommy shrugs. "Nothing too important. We just wanna talk to Tubbo. Niki really needs help, though. She's been stuck on a design plan for a fuckin' long time, and-"
"Okay!" Wilbur beams, flickering in and out of the world. "I'll be back later! Love you all!" And then he's gone.
Tommy breathes out, and he swears that Techno and Phil do the same. "I don't want to pull a Wilbur, Phil," Tommy sighs. "I'm not going to take the chance of Tubbo accidentally getting hurt." Phil smiles at him.
"I know. That's why I've been planning for the past week. To make sure that doesn't happen. Now, what I want to do is simple.."
"Well," Tommy crosses his arms, looking ahead at New L'manberg, watching as the fire burns it to the ground. "This could've gone better."
Techno and Phil stand next to him, their Netherite reflecting the flames. Tommy watches as the wood erupts into flames, spreading the fire farther and farther. Houses go up in flames. The smell of smoke chokes him, but Tommy doesn't move away from the scene. He can't.
"Where's Tubbo?" He asks, turning his head ever so slightly to look at Phil. "He's fine, right?"
"Yeah," Phil nods. "He's fine. I made sure he wasn't in any of the buildings. I know you didn't want to burn it to the ground, but.."
"Whatever," Tommy shrugs. He thought that he'd feel more strongly about this. About his home getting burnt down. "Not like I care."
He was the one who dropped the match, afterall.
He had full control of the situation, and he chose to burn it down.
"Tommy!" He closes his eyes at the sound of Tubbo's voice, turning slowly around to face his best friend. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tubbo screams, clutching his stomach as he hobbles forward. His clothes are covered in soot, ash dusting his face, settling in his air. "What the fuck did you do?"
"Well," Tommy feels his stomach twist. "I had to..you..you wouldn't listen to me," Tommy crosses his arms. "You wouldn't listen to me. You were getting in way over your fuckin' head, Tubbo! You gave me up for a piece of fucking land? You never even wanted to be President!"
"At first!" Tubbo shouts at him, and Tommy stumbles back. "I fucking.." Tubbo walks right up to him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "I fucking hate you," he snarls. "I was planning on getting you back here. I just needed a little more time! You..you.." Tommy gasps, hitting the ground when Tubbo shoves him. He stares up at his friend, mouth agape. "I thought I knew you. I thought you..you were supposed to..I fucking.." Tubbo clenches his fists. "I hate you. I hate you so much. Every single good thing I've ever had in my life, you have to destroy it!" Tubbo shouts. "Everything! I was finally happy, things were finally working out! We were so fucking close to being happy, and you.."
"Tubbo, I thought-"
"Shut up! You never fucking think! You're so selfish!" Tubbo slams his foot down on Tommy's chest, and he feels his ribs ache and scream at him for a second. Tubbo's immediately thrown off of him by Techno, but that..
"Tubbo.."
"Fuck you," Tubbo spits, curling his lip up at him. He looks so disgusted. "Fuck you."
And then he's gone, limping away. He drags himself down the path, and Tommy..
He doesn't know what to feel.
Tubbo was supposed to..
They were supposed to..
"Fuck," Tommy whispers, dragging his knees up to his chest. He listens to the roaring of the fire behind him, his hands shaking. "I fucked up," he whispers. "I fucked up."
Yeah, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Tubbo, tells him. You did.