Work Text:
In Shang Qinghua's life, he never got to be a writer. It was always a "someday, maybe" intangible goal at some far away point. He'd struggled to barely get into Cang Qiong on the lowest peak, he'd struggled to out-fox his martial brothers and sisters for head disciple role, and he'd struggled as a peak lord doing the brunt work of the 12 peaks day in and day out. And he'd struggled juggling this while an ice demon breathed down his neck, ready to dispose of him the moment he proved to be of no more use.
So of course even as a peak lord immortal he'd died before putting pen to paper.
In this life, with no cultivation and no source of income, Shang Qinghua thinks it is about time he started. His System suggested as much, and while he doesn't trust it as far as he can have a real conversation with it, its told him a great deal about navigating this world and his transmigration.
"But what should I write?" Shang Qinghua asked it. "I mean, people make up stories of just about anything in this world but all this modern stuff is still confusing, and I'd fail at making any book about futuristic sci-fi or romance dramas, or–"
["Write what you know," –quote by Mark Twain, author of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.] The System said.
"I have no idea who that is," Shang Qinghua sighed.
But the quote stuck out to him well enough, because after that he just… started writing down things. Memories of his last life scattered in the margins of notebooks. Details he already mulled over constantly, like his greatest regrets, and the things best looked at in hindsight after all was said and done. Theories for what might have happened after the part of his "story" he'd died in like, like "canon fodder."
He definitely wasn't protagonist material, that was for certain. His life was too insignificant and pathetic. He wasn't brave or strong or beautiful like any great male lead should be. And, er, paying readers wouldn't want a story about a sniveling traitorous rat who dies offscreen with an unsatisfying ending, leaving so many questions unanswered about the main storyline.
But from who else's perspective could he write the "story"?
[Would you like to purchase a hint for 5 points?]
"Only 5?"
[Hint costs are calculated based on how easy to deduce the information is. As the most ideal person for the protagonist role in your world is easy to deduce, the hint is on sale for only 5 points.]
"Hey!" Shang Qinghua banged at the System for calling him stupid. "I can guess on my own, thank you! I just didn't realize there was a designated protagonist already, ok?" He rubbed his temples. "Uh. Is it Zhangmen-Shixiong? He's the sect leader, his sword is the most powerful, that's his 'golden finger' right?"
[Incorrect.]
"No? But he was still alive when I died." Shang Qinghua felt a wave of pity for the man, at that moment. Had he died at Luo Binghe's hands? That demon probably sought to hunt down the sect leader after burning Cang Qiong wasn't enough. If even Yue Qingyuan couldn't win against Luo Binghe…
"Is it some hidden character?" He tried.
[Incorrect.]
"So I have seen them before? Or met them?" He paused, wondering who else might even stand a chance against Luo Binghe. Who could be strong and, well, beautiful enough, to be a protagonist in all senses. "Is… Mobei-Jun…?"
[Incorrect. That is 3 incorrect guesses. Would you like to buy a hint for the low low cost of 5 points?]
"What kind of sass is this!" He said. Internally, he wasn't sure whether to feel some satisfaction that the demon he worked for wasn't so great and powerful after all. Well, he already knew that when upstart Luo Binghe defeated him, but still.
Wasn't sure how to feel. About all that. So he chose not to think about it.
"Give me the stupid hint."
[-5 points spent. New point total: 3,495]
[Ideal protagonist candidate: Luo Binghe]
[Protagonist qualities:
✔ Tragic backstory
✔ humble beginnings, rises to power
✔ Unlocks unique abilities
✔ Incredibly high intelligence
✔ Gains golden finger: Xin Mo
✔ Harem of over 3,000 women
= Overall, one complicated, morally gray man who only ever sought approval and love as a young boy. When the world punished him, he fought back with 10x power and took everything by force that he was robbed of in youth. Once readers learn about all facets of this Stallion Protagonist Male Lead, no one will be able to say they truly hate him or can't sympathize with his actions. A true protagonist!]
"Luo Binghe? Luo Binghe? Are we talking about the same Luo Binghe? No, wait, what do you mean no one can't sympathize with him? Because burning down a whole sect is pretty intense!" Shang Qinghua squawks. Ok, yes, he betrayed his own sect first, and yes, he had reasons that made sense in his own head and seemed pretty justified from his own perspective, but that didn't mean…
[Inquiry noted. Recommendation: Would Host like to purchase a writing starter pack? The Writing Starter Packs include:
the "Character Backstories" Edition (sure to flesh out even the scummiest of villains, guaranteed!)
For 1,500 points (one time purchase, limited time only)
Or the "Money-Maker" Edition (sure to bring in steady income for your novel, guaranteed!)
For 1,500 points
Based on Host's last inquiry, this System recommends purchase of the "Character Backstories" Writing Starter Pack. This System would like to note the answer to Host's questions are included in this Pack.
Would Host like to purchase "Character Backstories" for 1,500 points?
Yes/No]
He should have been more careful spending such a large chunk of his savings, but Shang Qinghua knew from experience that when the System recommended he buy something, he would regret it if he didn't. Especially when the item was only available for a limited time. If he didn't get it now, he may never get it. And he was a little too curious– was he going to find out all the dirty little secrets of everyone on Cang Qiong that even he, a double crossing spy, hadn't found out?
He bought the pack.
[-1,500 points. New point total: 1,495.
Thank you for your purchase! Host may begin typing any time he is ready.]
... That's it? "I have to write it myself?!"
[Incorrect. The information included in "Character Backstories" is already now available at the Host's fingertips. Once Host begins typing, the story will write itself.]
Shang Qinghua narrowed his eyes, but sat down at his computer anyway. As soon as he opened a word document, he felt a buzzing in his fingertips. It was like they had a mind of their own. He watched in fascination as his own fingers typed furiously at his keyboard– faster than he was actually able to type, mind you, technology was hard! And he saw paragraphs come to life right in front of him on the screen.
He read the words with rapt attention, the story about a baby left to float on the Luo river in the dead of winter, only to be saved by a kind and selfless washerwoman who stumbled upon him. He read about how the woman was so down on her luck and poor that she could barely provide for herself, but she put her all into caring for the child. She took in the baby and raised it as her own son, named after the banks of the icy river where she'd found him. And Shang Qinghua read about how young little Luo Binghe took in his mother's teachings and always strived to be kind, even when he was bullied by the children of wealthier families in the village, even when he was beaten down, even when they struggled through winters with hardly any food or warmth or money to their names.
And that was about as far as Shang Qinghua got, before a severe hand cramp broke his trance and he cursed. Only then did he look down at his hands and finally stop typing. He'd half forgotten he'd been the one typing all this because he couldn't have come up with prose this compelling if he tried. He felt genuinely moved to tears– fuck, he was actually crying, actually, and had to wipe at his eyes. Which made his fingers sting, again, which made him look down and see blisters on his fingertips.
"How am I supposed to type a whole novel for money if my fingers are gonna blister each chapter I write?" He whined.
[Would Host like to make a purchase for increased hand resilience for 150 points? This includes immunity to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, wrist and joint pain, and blisters.]
"If I was still a cultivator I wouldn't need to spend 150 whole points on something like this." Despite his complaining, he purchased it immediately.
[Would Host like to publish the first chapter of <<Proud Immortal Demon Way>>?]
"What, is it gonna cost me points? Also, what is that title?" He sighed. "Yeah yeah, just post it, that was the whole point of this. I'll get money for it, right?"
[Most newly-published webnovels by unrecognizable authors do not make much money. This System recommends Host to keep working hard, and with consistent updates, some social media presence, and a bit of luck, Host can expect a modest steady stream of income from loyal fans around chapter 100-200.]
"You–! You misled me!"
[If Host would like a guaranteed stream of income, this System recommends Host save up to buy the "Money-Maker" Writing Pack (sure to bring in steady income for your novel, guaranteed!) For 1,500 points.]
"You-!" Shang Qinghua banged on the System interface, screeching expletives at the emotionless blue screen for a while, until his throat got dry and he left to get some water, then felt tired, then laid down to sleep, until he woke again in the morning to an email notification on his phone.
Drowsily, Shang Qinghua opened the email.
Apparently, the System really had taken care of the process in posting his story's chapter 1 to a popular webnovel site. The email notified him one person had commented on his first chapter.
Peerless Cucumber wrote the following review on your story:
"Interesting exposition. Tropey, but interesting nonetheless. It's hard not to root for the underdog, especially when the protagonist clings to his mother's teachings despite the hardships. I'd argue it's unrealistic of him, but I'm guessing you're going somewhere with this, I'm picking up on a lot of plot threads and foreshadowing you're leaving around even in just the first chapter. I might forgive you killing off his mother (I can see that plot twist coming a mile away) if you dive deeper on those hints of foreshadowing, and don't just turn this story into a trope-ridden tangled mess. Subscribed."
Shang Qinghua read the review over 3 times. Was he being insulted? Complemented? Threatened? It was so hard to tell. The wording reminded him a little too much of how a certain peak lord of Qing Jing talked, when he was in one of his better moods.
Regardless, the review was undeserved! He didn't even technically write it. He bought a magical item that gave him magical writing abilities and nearly broke his fingers because of his own inhuman typing speed.
[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said 3 times! Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky's First Review Mission completed!
+200 points for the start of your novel career!
+200 points for securing your first loyal reader!
+50 points for a positive review!
+[Error] for encountering a fellow transmigrator!
Error unidentified. Error.
New point total: Error]
"Transmigrator?! System, what! What error! Where did my points go?! I should have enough now to buy the money making pack or whatever, right! System! Who's the transmigrator? Is it Peerless Cucumber?"
[System error, e rr o r
System will be down for maintenance. Please call customer support.]
Shang Qinghua kicked the blue screen hovering in front of him, at the exact moment the System's screen blipped out of existence again. Shang Qinghua toppled over from the force of his own momentum and fell on his face. He sat up and dusted himself off.
Well, now what?
He looked back to his dusty old computer monitor. ...Really, he needed to replace it one of these days. Which he was hoping to do once he had more money in the bank. Which he wouldn't get until he reached 100+ chapters of his novel, if the System was right about how webnovel profits worked, or until the System finished installing whatever update and came back online so he could spend his points.
But even aside from that, he was curious to know more of the… "story," at least, Luo Binghe's background, and the backgrounds of others. How much control did he have over this power up? If he thought about just anyone, would his fingers follow his wishes and type up their story?
He thought about Shen Qingqiu as he sat in front of a new word document.
His fingers started typing on their own once more.
By the time he was done, sunrise had turned to sunset, he realized he'd forgotten to eat at all that day, and he'd cried at no less than 3 times over a man he would have sold out for one corn chip once upon a time. Now, he felt sick to his stomach. And when he thought of Shen Qingqiu's and Luo Binghe's beginnings and their parallels, when he thought of what Luo Binghe grew up to do to Shen Qingqiu, Shang Qinghua felt like going for a 4th round of unmanly crying, for their sakes.
I'm not going to publish this chapter, he decided. He was. Not going to. Not right now, at least. Maybe later, if there was ever a good time later. Publishing Shen Qingqiu's life story online for anyone to stumble on felt… not right, somehow, even if he never particularly even liked the man, even if anyone reading it would think he's just a fictional character. It just did not sit right with Shang Qinghua. And, he justified to himself, it wasn't like he had to publish everything he "wrote", just what was relevant to the, uh, the protagonist, right? And Luo Binghe was the ideal protagonist. And it wouldn't even make sense to switch from Luo Binghe's childhood in one chapter to Shen Qingqiu's childhood the next. So… he'd save this word document for later and leave it be for now.