Work Text:
the air is a little stingy today, heat of the sun weak and its rays wan, causing jeongsuk to shiver slightly as the cool breeze hits her bare legs. the almost-crisp weather does not deter her, though, nor do the goosebumps rising on the mostly smooth stretch of her skin, and she continues editing on her laptop, humming under her breath.
“agh,” she heaves a resigned sigh, frowning unhappily when stubborn strands of hair keep getting in her face, ticklish and annoying. she’s been planning to cut them for a long time now, but being occupied more often than not has her forgetting every time and then chastising herself as she only remembers it before going to sleep. which, well, she wouldn’t trade for anything. rolling her eyes at the inconvenience, she pads inside her place, grumbling under her breath, and goes straight for the drawer, putting her hair up in an unimpressive bun as soon as she finds the scrunchy.
since she’s made the effort of moving anyway, jeongsuk retrieves a pair of socks from the drawer as well, not really in the mood to wear pants longer than her shorts. taehee calls her a masochist for it, but she likes her legs cold. it keeps her awake and conscious of what she’s doing with her projects, because it’s a little too easy for her to space out and doze off if her legs are too warm.
“nooo,” she whines quietly, as she comes back and spots a wonderful, disgusting present awaiting her, scowling. “dumb birds,” she mutters, tiptoeing past it and plopping down on the comfortable chair again, feet tucked under her body.
after making sure to glare at the sky and the faint sun one last time, she turns back to her laptop, and gets to work.
it works for a while because this part of the neighbourhood is quiet, the birds don’t bother her anymore and she’s able to focus nicely with her hair not being a nuisance anymore, but the peace doesn’t last for long. she starts for a millisecond, back straightening up and ears trained on the distraction to hear better, but relaxes when she realises what the indistinct commotion is about.
the studio flat adjacent to hers had been empty for a while, but it seems as though someone finally decided to take it. out of its affordable rent, the lack of better options or resources to choose better options, or even the slightly sketchy neighbourhood, she does not stop to dwell on.
the walls aren’t exactly the best when it comes to being soundproof, so not later than a couple of minutes, she can clearly hear all the muted thuds and clunks of boxes being carried inside and dropped rather unceremoniously, from the sound of it. jeongsuk thinks of offering help since she’s a close neighbour, but holds back when the voices of a couple of men reach her, talking loudly. probably the movers her neighbour must’ve hired for this.
and here she goes again, not wasting a minute in losing focus. she has to physically snap herself out of the short-lived reverie, trying her best to ignore her thoughts that secretively start wandering again when she hears another voice join the movers’, low-pitched and deep in timbre, probably a woman’s.
she plugs in her headphones, plays some lo-fi music, and promptly gets back to working on the pictures.
-
by the time jeongsuk is looking up from the screen and stretching her stiff limbs, there’s a crick in her neck and a strain in her eyes, fingers thrumming with the light tire she often has after editing for hours on end, almost liking the grounding feel of it. a reminder of her hard work.
the sky’s turned into a dull grey and the nice afternoon into a murky evening, yet still not enough to bring her mood down with the satisfaction of her effort still swirling in her chest. she hums happily, stretching once again after taking her headphones off, thoroughly spent.
“nice,” she sighs, lips crooked into a small smile. calling it a day, jeongsuk saves the files, reminding herself to count them before turning the laptop off and taking it inside. her phone’s weather forecast app says it’s not going to rain, but she isn’t willing to take any risks. the breeze is stronger than before, albeit not completely unpleasant. still, she has a long history with seoul’s unpredictable skies which is the cause of her distrust, so without thinking more of it, she begins gathering whatever is scattered around the small space, humming to herself.
it's only as she’s done clearing the balcony, just leaving the plastic chair she got when she first moved here to stay, worn out by rains and sunlight and winds and fine dust, when she notices the presence of someone else nearby. jeongsuk freezes, chancing a look up through her light bangs that managed to escape the bun towards the balcony to her right, heart skipping a beat at the unexpected presence.
the person isn’t facing her, but they’re tilted enough for her to catch a glimpse of the soft side profile, small, sleepy eyes that are squinting as they vaguely peer into some point in the distance. she traces her gaze down the slope of their nose and– the cigarette held between pouted lips. wisps of light smoke rise above their head, and even though the sight of that is effortlessly, inexplicably entrancing, what actually makes her freeze and do a double-take is the hair.
it’s short, coming down to rest along the line of their shoulders. soft-looking and a little unruly, a gorgeous mint-green. it makes jeongsuk distantly wonder how many attempts of bleaching and dyeing it took to attain that vivid colour.
suddenly, she feels awfully mundane with her own brown hair and oversized hoodie, watching the thin white shirt swallow the person’s seemingly small figure. just as she’s about to turn, make herself at least a little presentable to encounter her new neighbour for the first time, said person turns first, as though feeling the weight of her gaze burning holes into them.
the cigarette is still perched lazily between their parted lips, and what she had earlier thought as sleepy turns out to be a gaze sharp, dark eyes zeroing on her immediately. she physically feels all the blood rush to her face, undoubtedly pooling in her cheeks, painting them a pale red. now, all the thoughts of being polite and meeting her neighbour for the first time like an adult are nowhere to be found, a worrying blank filling her head, just like it does when she’s caught completely off-guard, or nervous, or in the presence of pretty people. the current situation is a horrendous mix of all of that.
her neighbour raises one eyebrow, and jeongsuk properly panics, eyes going wide, giving into her head’s stupid fight or flight response even in circumstances like this. she whips around, and shuts the door to the balcony with a bang behind her, the sound too jarring. her back stays plastered to it for a while, heart thudding in her chest, having a hard time believing what just happened.
that went to shit, she begrudgingly thinks, disgruntled, then buries her face in her hands and silently screams for a few minutes. that’s one way to ruin a first impression that could’ve gone so much better, if it weren’t for her stupidity that outdoes itself every single time. she wallows in the embarrassment of having made a fool out of herself and self-pity. maybe jeongsuk’s even left an impression of being some scrawny kid who is afraid of people and not a grown woman who can talk to humans just fine and lives alone. what a disaster.
like the sensible adult she is, jeongsuk decides she is never facing her neighbour again. at least not when they look like that and jeongsuk is just– herself. a little shy and a little slow-witted, also very, very impulsive when it comes to making some highly concerning decisions as she succumbs to her easily triggered mind.
-
life goes on for a week or so. burying herself in work and college and taking photos endlessly and editing them, jeongsuk barely has the time to think of her neighbour or the cute hair or the cute face or the hot hands and the cigarette– no. she doesn’t think at all. it could’ve very well stayed that way, but she’s reminded of how dumb she must’ve looked to them every time she hears an occasional thud through the thin walls, or light music with a nice bass, or the voice that’s low and raspy and quiet, but wafting through the space anyway, clouding her head.
the thing is, jeongsuk doesn’t develop mindless crushes so easily. though her neighbour might’ve been scarily attractive, it takes her a lot more than just a pretty face to call someone her crush. it’s just that. that person looked pretty confident and like someone who had their shit together and obviously, they’re going to have to know each other for a while, if they stay. they looked like they were the opposite of what jeongsuk thinks of herself and that may or may not have intimidated her a little, but more than that, she simply likes tormenting herself over how their first interaction could’ve gone much, much better.
still, there isn’t much that can be done about it, so she does her best to carry on and not think too much of it. maybe they didn’t see her. maybe what happened was just in her head, or an illusion her brain made her believe was real. jeongsuk likes practicality, but there are instances when she wishes she didn’t really have to function like a human to be considered sane. that would be nice, she imagines.
things seem to be on her side for eight days at maximum, before it’s decided this is enough charity work for gays.
jeongsuk breathes into the cup of hot milk, sniffing a little. it’s been an ugly day, cold literally and metaphorically, things getting piled on as she can’t count anything productive she did in the last few hours, the bundles of homework waiting on her desk, a plethora of unedited pictures, and on top of everything, being sick.
she absolutely despises it. it hinders even her daily routine, fatigue and lethargy dragging her body down, tired even if she doesn’t move an inch. she painfully reminisces about the good old days when she didn’t have to deal with a blocked nose, breathing easily and soundlessly. fluctuating fever and mood swings and headaches, those are just the by products that come along anyway, she can’t do anything about them.
(she can, and she did. with the help of jimin, who wouldn’t leave her place until she was sure she did everything she could in her ability to help. dealing with taehee is still a mountain of babying and fussing and gentle scolding jeongsuk is yet to face.)
yet even after all that care, she can’t inhale and exhale five seconds without sniffing, throat feeling stuffy and sore, body rendered weak. everything she feels right now is a stark reminder of why and how much she hates being ill. sighing dejectedly, jeongsuk takes another sip, humming when the hot liquid soothes the ache as it goes down, closing her eyes. wan rays of sunlight hit the balcony in patches of pale yellow, the most colour she has seen in it all day. wiggling her toes in her socks as she feels them go a bit numb, jeongsuk pulls the sweater tighter around herself, ponytail loose and allowing stray stands of hair to fall in her face.
it’s not the wisest of decisions to sit outside while she’s sick, but the dull grey of her ceiling had started to become the ugliest thing as she stayed inside, so the balcony had been the best and closest escape from the cramped space.
“are you okay?”
she startles so much that the liquid in her cup sloshes as she flinches, head snapping up towards the source of the sound. the voice she had never wanted to hear again and listen to very much simultaneously. her eyes are wide, and she probably looks like a zombie– hair messy and face flushed with the fever and lips pale, dark circles and eye bags more prominent than ever.
fuck, what the fuck. god definitely hates her enough to put her in situations like this not once but twice, and worse the second time. maybe also because she’s into women, or whatever. she couldn’t care less about that part though.
“um.” she clamps her jaw shut, swallowing thickly before blinking the slight soreness in her eyes away, inhaling deeply. she’s got this. she can do as little as not pull something stupid like last time. she’s totally got this.
“the walls are thin, i could hear.”
oh. oh. now she has to deal with being a nuisance, along with being the weird, impolite neighbour. how convenient. something thick and unwelcome rises in her chest, heat rising to her face not from the fever this time. she blames the sick germs that are making her more sensitive to the situation that isn’t as big as she’s making it seem, more gloomy. she can’t help the slight tremble in her voice.
“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean– i was a little sick, sorry.”
when she looks up, seeing a surprised face isn’t what she expects. the other’s face scrunches up after a dragged moment, looking as though they said something wrong. “what, no? i didn’t mean it like that. it’s– you can be sick, it’s okay.”
jeongsuk blinks, somewhat stupefied. maybe they really only wanted to ask about her well-being and she needs to work on her cognitive skills. “oh. um, thanks. i mean– it’s okay? i– yeah.” what the hell.
her neighbour sighs, shoulders hunching a bit. jeongsuk peers at them through her lashes, a lot more shyer than how she usually is, the short bout of her sombreness forgotten.
“just thought i’d ask, are you feeling any better now?”
it’s not a surprise they can talk well. despite the awkwardness that wraps the space around the two balconies, they barely seem affected. words confident and sure, not stuttered or nervous like hers. they aren’t smoking this time, but instead of the cigarette, there’s a lollipop dangling between their slender fingers, still wrapped in plastic. their hands fiddle with it for a moment before pocketing the candy, probably a little flustered or thrown off by how jeongsuk keeps looking at it, only realising she is staring when they clear their throat, face burning.
“yes!” she drags the word for no reason. “better than before. thank you.”
they nod, and jeongsuk’s heart sadly beats away, thinking this is how the conversation is going to halt when she doesn’t want it to. she’s not in her best outfit or having the best day, but she has the odd desire to talk a little more, incessant. like when you meet someone new in class and even though the teacher’s walked in and you’re supposed to be quiet and there will be months if not years to talk, you can’t quite hold it in in that moment, that feeling. even if the conversations are a little stilted and awkward, they’re memorable.
they don’t seem to be dealing with the same train of thoughts she is, and shoot her a small smile, nodding.
“i wanted to ask something, actually,” they start, and jeongsuk’s heart paces dumbly, waiting. “is there some issue with pets, here? i tried looking everywhere where it says they’re not allowed, but couldn’t find anything. and it’s like the landlord does not remember she has a phone, so. i’m confused if i should bring in mine or not.”
jeongsuk blinks, then shakes her head quickly, bangs moving with the movement. “oh no! they’re allowed. i didn’t know either at first. had to ask myself, i fostered a kitten once. but yes. you can have them.”
instantly, her neighbour’s face lights up, as if suddenly reminded of the best thing in the world. it’s strangely amusing to watch. “really? that’s perfect. holly is gonna keep me company soon, then.”
jeongsuk tightens her hold on the warm mug and presses her lips into a thin line, mulling over whether she should ask about holly or if it’s crossing the line for a moment before screwing her eyes shut, shaking her head again. as if physically warding the unceasing thoughts away. she looks up, feels her stomach swoop as they make eye contact. “holly?”
the small smile lingering on their face immediately widens, exposing small teeth and gums and– it’s really fucking cute. wow, oh god. “my baby, my doggo. wanna see her pictures?”
jeongsuk nods, enraptured by the sudden shift in the nature of their conversation. she can’t imagine saying no. if possible, the grin she’s having a hard time because of stretches even more, lighting something far too bright in her tummy for how sick she is.
-
“but why,” jeongsuk whines, plopping on the bed face front. “stop dragging me to places i have no interest in–“
“maybe you will have an interest if you stop crushing over your cute hot neighbour,” jimin finger quotes, and the words have barely gone past her lips when jeongsuk is up in a second, scrambling towards her and clamping her hand over the older’s mouth, pressing firmly.
“shhh, why’re you a literal broken speaker,” she whispers, frowning. “the walls are thin, someone might hear.”
jimin licks her hand, smirking when jeongsuk grimaces and moves away, wiping her thick lips, the lip tint still managing to stay perfect. she continues as though nothing happened. “and anyways. one of my close friends is going to perform. you have a lot of time, it’s not happening that soon. plus, seojin unnie is going to be there too. she’ll be really upset if she finds out you dipped for no reason when you guys could’ve met after like, ages.”
there she goes, always with her sweet smile and persuasive words. jeongsuk can find a hundred things better than being guilt tripped right now, but she also genuinely feels bad for drawing in on herself and pushing her friends away for no reason other than not being as outgoing as them, when all they want is to meet her and have a good time together. something about jimin’s curved lips tells her she’s not going to find her way out of it this time, not that she was too adamant on pulling back either.
“okay, fine. i’ll come, and stop giving me that look, you’re creepy.”
if anything, the dumb smirk on her face deepens, eyes almost disappearing. “gotta make sure you wear something sexy. i’ll make taehee lend something to you.”
“whatever.”
“whatever, my ass. can i see if your neighbour is on the balcony? really wanna see the face you can’t shut up about.”
“don’t you dare,” warns jeongsuk, glaring at her from the pile of her blanket burrito, hair askew. jimin cackles at her most probably absurd face. “she isn’t home this time of the day anyway. please stop being so invested in my neighbour.”
“i’d stop being invested if you stopped gushing about her, good lord. yoonji-ssi is so cute, yoonji-ssi is so cool, yoonji-ssi’s dog is so adorable, yoonji-ssi could slap me and i’d thank her,” she mimics with a high pitched voice and silly face, then breaks into another bout of full-body laughter, eyes crinkling with the force of it. “you’re down bad.”
“hey, when did i say that?”
“i have receipts, bitch. you also said she can like punch me and i’d apologise for getting in her way, what in the fuck. taehee and i are kind of expecting a six feet tall badass woman with lots of tattoos and piercings and muscles, or an angry grandma that beats everyone with a cane. i don’t know if we’ll be disappointed or pleasantly surprised.”
jeongsuk groans loudly, throwing her head back. still unable to fight a small smile of her own. “nothing, you’d be nothing. stop speaking forever. and don’t say badass again, no one uses that word anymore. so cringe.”
her words go roundly ignored as her friend jumps on the bed to face her, face cupped in her hands as she looks at jeongsuk with something wild in her eyes, reading and screaming trouble. “yah, wanna talk about how gay taehee and seojin unnie have been recently? i have stuff to tell you. it’s good enough to get taehee all shy and stuff, and you know how shameless she is.”
earlier conversation consigned to oblivion in not more than a second, jeongsuk sits up, grinning when jimin giggles and pushes her face into the mattress, poking her shoulder. “hell yes. i want to have some blackmail material too.”
the look on jimin’s face tells her she’s already abused the advantage they have on their friend. “let’s do it over some chicken and beer, what do you say?”
jeongsuk whoops, delighted, yoonji and her face forgotten, but only for the time being.
-
yoonji-ssi brings in holly two weeks later, a small brown poodle with curly fur and possibly the demise of jeongsuk. she hears the entire thing while she’s in her room, folding clean clothes, as her dog yips and pants and barks happily, followed by quiet, fond chuckles that make her chest squeeze a little.
she hears them then, and meets the dog two days later, stretched on the large cushions she’d dragged out to the balcony to laze around in the sunshine, skin warm and sun kissed and body heavy with idleness. she doesn’t hear her name being called out at first, but then there’s the same voice but louder and saying something along the lines of holly, baby, don’t do that, shhh, and she’s up in a matter of seconds, goggle-eyed and suddenly buzzing with energy.
“hi,” yoonji says as soon as she notices jeongsuk moving, and smiles, supple cheeks bunching up a bit. “holly is here.”
“i know,” replies jeongsuk a little too quickly before she catches herself, clearing her throat, looking down sheepishly. “i mean, i heard. since the walls are thin.”
“yeah.” and then, “actually, i’m taking her for a walk, do you– uh. do you want to come along?”
what?
it takes her a good few seconds to even register that sentence, enough for her mostly composed neighbour to get a little nervous and fidgety, eyes suddenly flitting. “i understand if you’re busy, or if it’s like, too sudden–“
“no!” maybe she should’ve toned it down, but the word has already spilled past her lips, more enthusiastic and loud than she intended. “no. it’s okay. i can go,” she tells yoonji but quieter than before, whose eyes light up immediately and she nods, green hair shifting with the small movement.
“meet you out in ten?”
“yeah,” jeongsuk says, a little dazed. yoonji sends her one last smile before slipping inside her flat, leaving an air light and blissful in her wake.
no, what was she thinking? ten minutes is too less, and it’s too late to think about the fact that this is the first time they’re meeting outside their balconies, no space or steel between them. now’s also not the best time to think about how much she wants to impress the other but has time too little, so she propels into action, abandoning the small area and making a beeline for the small cupboard, getting to work.
-
holly is a little bundle of happiness, hopping here and there and jostling yoonji’s hand with every jerky movement, sniffing whatever she can before bouncing over to the next most interesting thing, which happens to be the case with almost everything. the dog also carries no hostile feelings towards jeongsuk. all she does is sniff her hand, lick it once and once she deems her unimportant, she moves on without sparing her much attention.
jeongsuk isn’t complaining. at least holly doesn’t hate her. in fact, yoonji tells her if she licks someone’s hands at the first meeting, it’s enough to show she likes them, probably more than enough.
speaking of yoonji– can jeongsuk’s heart fucking chill?
it’s hard as it is to meet her for the first time outside of their balconies and take notice of the fact that she’s actually taller than the other woman. to know that yoonji smells of soap and of a perfume that has a tangerine-like scent, that she’s wearing shorts and her legs are so pale jeongsuk can see almost all her veins, and that she has many piercings in her ears. like jeongsuk.
it’s terrible enough with all these things and more combined, so she doesn’t need to lose her shit when yoonji as much as simply talks. it’s a relief to realise that after half an hour of walking, mostly letting the other talk as jeongsuk listens, her nerves are a lot calmer than before.
the initial interaction and conversation had been a bit awkward at first, bodies not going how to act, but it didn’t take long to become something very comfortable and easy to keep up with.
yoonji asks about her hometown, tells jeongsuk about her own. goes endlessly about holly’s habits and shows her some more videos as they sit on a bench in some park, shoulder brushing against jeongsuk’s. her knuckles and knees and elbows are all dusted a pale pink, edges soft, nails painted a pastel purple that goes too well with her long, pretty fingers. jeongsuk also talks, about classes and photography and they delve into a detailed conversation about cameras that shifts towards jeongsuk covering an event, a gender reveal party to be exact, which then leads them to talk about babies, what games and tv shows they used to like the best as kids, and finally, to weird imaginations and beliefs they used to have back then.
which is exactly why yoonji is still laughing when jeongsuk tells her she actually believed her parents baked her in the oven and accidentally made her and that the reason they used heaters in winters is so she could rise like dough and grow, and how she cried when she had a nosebleed for the first time and realised she wasn’t made of cake. this is also exactly why jeongsuk can’t stop smiling and blushing dumbly, wanting to see her laugh a little more, all gums and cute teeth and scrunched eyes and button nose. and the red lips. very pretty lips.
“that has to be the best one,” she says as the remnants of the laughter morph and settle over her features into a gentle smile, cheeks flushed, hair moving delicately with the light breeze. “what the hell were you thinking?”
“i was like four, i didn’t think much at all,” jeongsuk replies, to which yoonji snorts and nods and they walk in silence that lasts for about five seconds before holly breaks it, barking loudly. both of them look up instantly, watching as the dog trots over to a patch of grass and sniffs it, then flopping down on it, belly up, scratching her back against the ground.
“how long have you been here?” the older of the two asks.
“seoul, or this apartment?”
“seoul.”
jeongsuk hums, sliding her hands in the pockets of her jeans as she thinks. “my memory’s really bad, but like– around four? five? years, i think. i was just trying so hard to survive i didn’t care about counting my time here at all.”
no, she remembers it perfectly. a cold day in june, raining like no tomorrow, dark and gloomy and just the right thing that matched with the state of her. she recalls it all vividly, tears blurring her vision as she threw whatever she could manage to grasp in the small duffel bag, hands frantic, heart the heaviest.
eighth of june, around three pm, when jeongsuk ran away and didn’t look back, leaving behind a home shattered and walls cold and a place that hadn’t felt welcoming for a long, long time now. somewhere she didn’t feel belonged anymore. she ran away leaving behind two people who couldn’t accept her for what she was because their love wasn’t enough to see past that, and the pressing weight of everything wrong. with her and with them and with all things.
of course, she leaves that part behind. it doesn’t sting as much as it used to anymore, anyway.
when yoonji looks at her, her eyes glint as if she knows, as if she, too, has been through a path like this one of her own. the grin she offers is warmer than the sun has ever been that day. “you’re doing so well on your own, it can be an absolute shit hole at times. i was scared shitless when i first came to seoul, thought i wouldn’t survive a month, with all its tall buildings and busy people. so, what i mean to say is,” she pauses, touching her nose, the tip of it a shy red. “you’ve done a good job, you know– at surviving. i’m proud of you.”
jeongsuk’s eyes go round, tongue heavy in her mouth as she processes the influx of pretty girl warm words all these butterflies pretty girl warm words all these butterflies pretty girl– washing over her, face feeling hot.
“thanks,” she says, but it doesn’t seem as though she said it, for her voice sounds distant and like it’s coming from behind a veil of water. “you too, unnie.”
yoonji hands her the leash, with jeongsuk holding her breath subconsciously as the shorter woman lets her fingers graze over the thin skin of her wrist, then pulls back, mouth stretched into a gorgeous curve.
jeongsuk is pretty sure that’s it for her. this moment, despite it being so early, is it for her. she has a crush on her neighbour that she has known for barely over a month and is meeting without the metal bar of the railings for the first time, accompanying her and her dog on a very nice day. min yoonji looks like she knows exactly the impact she has, grinning one last time before walking ahead, leaving jeongsuk behind to pick up the pieces of her heart she is willingly, stupidly cutting away.
she’s always worn her heart on her sleeve. it’s just that yoonji is blunt in an alarmingly vague way, picking on its edges and pretending she isn’t, and jeongsuk, almost surprisingly, is nothing if not up for a challenge– especially if it’s about yoonji.
-
yoonhollyji
hey. you still up for that shoot?
sukkiejeonggie
yes!!! always!!!
you didn’t change your mind, did you?
yoonhollyji
of course not. just wanted to confirm the time.
sorry, i forgot ;-;
sukkiejeonggie
oh! no no it’s okay hehe
the sun sets way too early nowadays so we decided on three-thirty in the afternoon
yoonhollyji
thank u :]
sukkiejeonggie
np :D make sure holly is looking pretty!! i’m gonna take care of the rest :*
yoonhollyji
she always looks pretty >:[
sukkiejeonggie
oh yes she does. always. my bad, i’ll just make sure the sun works right so we have no problem with the lighting of anything
yoonhollyji
lol. what are you, helios?
sukkiejeonggie
hmm. don’t know about helios, but i’m pretty sure i can overthrow eros ;)
yoonhollyji
not with that those emoticons, you can’t
sukkiejeonggie
hey! you use them too! >:(
yoonhollyji
but i’m not trying to be a greek god/goddess
sukkiejeonggie
...point
anyways!! i’ll be there some time before you so i can fix some things and get everything right. you can come and bring holly on your own time!!
yoonhollyji
oke sure. see u, jeongsuk-ah
sukkiejeonggie
see you unnie :)
when her phone doesn’t buzz for another three minutes, jeongsuk finally puts it down, unable to fight the small smile off her face as she thinks. thinks of yoonji and her dog and her cute eyes and their silly, short messages and how she’d punched in her number in jeongsuk’s phone with those painted nails and pretty hands and an adorable flush sitting atop the bridge of her nose.
she admittedly has a liking that’s bigger than she expected it to be for her neighbour. who is impressively elegant, cool and nice. who also probably sees her as nothing but a younger friend, completely platonic. it is a bit embarrassing, to say the least. korea still isn’t all that open with people like jeongsuk and she isn’t willing to risk the wonderful friendship that’s growing between them by saying something stupid.
sure, by now, yoonji knows fully jeongsuk isn’t straight, thanks to some open conversations and casually slipping in the fact that she’s very much into women, just like someone would mention their favourite cereal, and jeongsuk also knows yoonji isn’t straight either. but that does not mean yoonji would want to take a step that open or like her more than a friend. maybe she’s not even out to her other friends.
(but friends don’t flirt over kakaotalk, they don’t stare for a beat too long and then pretend they didn’t. friends don’t blush when their hands touch, or when they sit too close or when one makes the other laugh too much. friends don’t do that, but maybe jeongsuk is looking into it too much.)
still, what exists between them is mostly cute and chaste and innocent in a way jeongsuk doesn’t really want to lose, so she stays put and hangs in there. currently, dealing with it means staring at the ceiling and smiling like an idiot.
was pining ever this good of a thing? probably not. it’s probably yoonji, making everything way better than it is.
“stop smiling at the walls, you’re creeping me out. what the hell,” says taehee, poking her head out from the pile of the clothes she has dragged out, eyes narrowed. her dark hair is all over her face, but she still somehow pulls it off. fucking model features and perfectly structured face. “who were you talking to? oh no, wait. i already know. what were you talking about that’s got you looking like a lovesick fool?”
jeongsuk sighs, pushing herself up. “you’re insane. it’s her dog’s birthday two days from now. unnie said holly is already a spoiled baby with too many toys and treats, and i had nothing else to give, so i offered to have her photoshoot. as a gift. that’s all,” she says, picking up her phone again as she idly scrolls through twitter, not meeting the other’s eyes.
“okay, well. yeah, that’s a great gift. i love dogs and you’ve already photographed yeontan too much for me to get a little jealous over you giving some other dog that kind of attention. but hey, genius. we’re all going out two days from now, too. did you think about that?” asks taehee, voice getting muffled as she turns away from her and towards the closet, busying herself in it again.
at her words, jeongsuk rolls her eyes without any menace, pursing her lips. “of course i did. we’re meeting around seven, and the shoot will be done by five. pretty sure i can get ready in two hours.” it’s not just getting ready, though. it’s packing up everything and coming back home to get all dressed up, then leaving for the club which is admittedly not that close. she just couldn’t have passed on the wonderful opportunity of showing what she loves doing to yoonji and consequently impressing her and winning her heart, and also to make her happy by taking pictures of holly on her birthday. it’s a win-win. she abandons the bed and walks towards the other, feet wrapped in her favourite fuzzy socks.
“whatever you say.”
“unnie,” she says, crouching behind her. taehee hums. “the club’s like. really high-end, though. are you sure jimin’s performer friend isn’t an idol or something?”
taehee snorts. “an idol or something,” she parrots, laughing a little before turning her head to face her, eyes big and expressive and glinting. “no, they just do occasional gigs around some clubs like that. apparently one of them is rich as hell, so it’s easy to secure the stage. they usually do it for fun, though. not a lot of money earning is involved.”
“ah,” jeongsuk nods her head, moving to sit down cross legged in front of her. “one of them? how many are they?”
“three,” replies taehee, getting back to fumble with the clothes, talking distractedly. “mainly hip-hop, but have done lots of genres. they’re cool.”
huh. she can’t help getting a little curious now. jimin, who is currently napping on her bed, buried in sheets and blankets, wouldn’t tell her much. just the usual you’re gonna like it, hoseok is cool, they make sick beats, the club’s also like, really cool with the gay scene, that’s why they chose it, they are nice etc, and she hasn’t bothered to ask more. it is apparently a big thing, though. something they’ve been anticipating for a while now, hence the super early invitation.
her friend whisper-yells to herself in glee, punching the air, then whipping her head towards her. “c’mon, try these with the shirt i brought. also wear the padded bra, it makes your boobs look nice. hurry up please, i wanna see.”
jeongsuk rolls her eyes but acquiesces, taking the clothes from her. it’s not that she’s going there to seduce anyone, or maybe hook up for a night.
these friends of jimin, however, have gotten her intrigued more than she thought they would. dressing up hot isn’t going to hurt, not when she doesn’t intend on doing anything more than that and get drunk with her friends. what else is there to look forward to in a club, anyway?
-
“where the fuck are you?”
“blind ass– why didn’t you wear your contacts? i’m literally on the other side. next to the tall blue board.”
“oooh, cute green top?”
“yes,” jeongsuk sighs, rubbing her free hand on her arm, wisps of her breath dissipating in front of her face as she exhales. “yes, that’s me. please pull over.”
jimin hums happily and hangs up, leaving her listening to the sounds of the passing traffic as she waits for the beat up, old model corolla to stop in front of her. it’s not as late as she had earlier thought she’d be, but it’s past seven anyway. the shoot with holly had gone longer than expected, the weather too nice and holly too pretty, everything working in her favour. they had thoroughly enjoyed it, laughing and forgetting far too easily the concept of time and its existence. it had only occurred to her when yoonji took out her phone to (secretly) take pictures of jeongsuk photographing holly, only to end up gasping when the screen displayed an alarming five-fifty.
now, with her makeup looking impeccable and not giving away the fact that it was put together in a rush, equipment safely back at home thanks to yoonji, the winter biting at her skin, she’s, like taehee had said, fashionably late. why her friends aren’t already in the club, she doesn’t know, only grateful for the offer of getting a ride from them to their mutual destination, not in the mood to get catcalled or ride the subway looking like she’s dressed up to make one too many mistakes tonight.
said friends shoot her wide grins as she slides in the backseat, exhaling relievedly once the warm air sits nicely around her, toasty. despite its battered exterior and chipped paint, taehee’s car is one of the most stubborn ones there are of its model, heating and air-con perfectly functional, interior an impressively modified version. she sinks into the soft seat.
“hello, hello, wow. you look fucked out and it’s not even ten yet. might wanna tone down the dark eyes and sexy look and i wanna have sex right now face a bit,” jimin comments as taehee snickers and drives off, nails painted a bright orange. the scents of their perfumes mingle and blend in the car, all subtle but nice enough, making jeongsuk inhale a little deeper.
she rolls her eyes, but smiles anyway. “it’s actually the i got ready in half an hour and literally ran in heels to get here so seojin unnie doesn’t beat my ass look, but thank you. i know i’m sexy.” instead of retorting, jimin hums approvingly and turns back in her seat, typing away on her phone.
“i’d say it’s the magic of my shirt, but jimin’s right. you do look very nice. good work.”
“agreed.” jimin finally puts her phone down, making eye contact with jeongsuk in the rearview mirror and winking, then turning to give taehee a fondly exasperated look. “anyways, i told unnie we’ll be there in fifteen minutes. tae, love, break some rules tonight, please speed up.”
“you know how they say, be gay, do crime. i’m gonna be so fuckin’ gay tonight.”
“oh, we know,” says jeongsuk, smirking when taehee giggles, running a hand through her hair. “seojin unnie is gonna be there, how can anyone expect you to be anything but gay?”
taehee laughs louder at that, denying, followed by jimin wiggling her neatly drawn brows knowingly and then going on about their progress that jeongsuk had missed on, much to taehee’s indignant whines and flustered complaints, loud and carefree and all jeongsuk needs to overlook everything else in their presence and let herself laugh easily. glad and fond and happy, but mostly invested in seojin and taehee’s relationship progress that has finally moved on from ages of pining.
-
the club is, as she had expected, high-end, all fancy bars and expensive drinks and private booths, the large space bathed in dimmed lights and the heavy thump of the music bouncing the drinks in glasses. there are chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling and a second floor to accommodate the large crowd, bartenders and waiters clad in well fitted suits, serving efficiently. against the largest wall, there is a stage set especially for tonight, taking a little less than half of the wide dance floor.
jeongsuk is immediately swept away and soon wrapped in a warm hug, sniffing the hints of the undoubtedly expensive perfume clinging to the curve of seojin’s neck, skin smooth and soft. the bubbling anxiousness in her chest instantly dies down, and she sags in her familiar hold, hugging her back. also because seojin’s boobs are very nice to press against in a hug, it’s a universally known and accepted fact.
after getting done with loud greetings and wide grins, they are escorted to a private booth of their own by a waiter, who nearly stutters as seojin gives him a dazzling smile and nods sweetly, bringing them along. jeongsuk snorts. she wouldn’t blame him, for seojin does look otherworldly pretty, the most enthusiastic, willing victim of her beauty being taehee who can’t move her eyes away from her face even for a second, infatuated.
so the night goes on. she receives many hugs and compliments from seojin, a couple of drinks to loosen up a bit, and a very happy jimin plastered to her side, trying to take a thousand pictures. all of which are blurry. an hour or two pass, she doesn’t really know, having drank enough alcohol to be just the right amount of tipsy, not too drunk to completely lose her mind. it’s good, the warmth, and she bobs her head occasionally to the music, indulging jimin’s passion for taking too many pictures, grinning stupidly in all of them.
finally, the repetitive edm stops and excited chatters stain the air, making jeongsuk lean forward towards seojin, anticipation filling her up. “what time is it?” she asks, waiting as seojin pulls out her phone and blinks at the sudden brightness of it.
“uhh, almost ten-thirty,” she replies, then raises an impressed brow, one corner of her mouth quirking up. “damn, it’s already been some two hours, huh? m’glad we’re not that drunk.”
all three of them nod in unison, heads whipping towards the stage where all the lights have ended up being focused on, the rest of the club dark. a sudden hush falls over everyone who’s present, suspense palpable. in the middle of the stage stands a cloaked figure, head tilted down and hands clasped at the front, a mic in hand.
suddenly, the beat goes off, startling her and then mellowing into a deep rumble, catchy even though it just started. the figure removes the head covering of the velvety cloak, eyes narrowed and sharp, a couple of chains hanging around their neck, rings in fingers and a satisfied curl to the lips.
“that’s hoseok” jimin squeals, clapping her hands in glee. jeongsuk vaguely registers her words, eyes stuck on the man who’s supposedly hoseok. “he looks so cool, oh my god.”
he does, jeongsuk thinks. and then– there are two more people joining him from the back, one taller than hoseok and broader in the shoulders, carrying a mic of his own, a smirk set on his mouth, jaw clamped and chin jutted out a bit to accentuate the cockiness of his expression. there is him, and he is amazing, but jeongsuk can’t breathe. couldn’t even if she tried to. there’s a stone in her throat and birds in her stomach, eyes probably wider than they’ve ever been.
“namjoon,” seojin supplies helpfully, smiling brightly. “and–“
yoonji, jeongsuk completes the sentence in her head, unable to listen to the words seojin is saying. what the fuck?
her peculiar mint-green hair is put up in the sexiest messy bun there is in existence, eyes lined with charcoal and lips tinted red, aura demanding and too hard to look away from, presence bigger despite her smaller frame in comparison with the other two rappers. she’s wears a black skirt, pale skin showing through the fucking fishnet stockings. oh lord, jeongsuk is most definitely having a next level breakdown. like, the help needed breakdown.
as she taps her mic, humming into it, the crowd hums excitedly, making her lips pull up into a knowing curve. she knows, she fucking knows the effect she has, jeongsuk thinks, still unable to unfreeze and breathe, all her attention narrowed down to one person only.
the only sane thing going through her mind is the prayer for any deity or an angel to somehow keep her from going insane. the reckless beat of her heart seems to speak otherwise, only proving how fucked she is, unassuming and a feeble little prey and very much shocked, and also how much she wants yoonji.
hoseok inhales deeply, and his next exhale comes out as words that make the audience go wild. the beat goes crazy, drinks are downed and jeongsuk, she’s doomed.
-
one song, two songs, three songs, a solo and that sharp tongue does not miss or skip any syllable later, jeongsuk is sure everyone around her has noticed her disbelief, shock, and the trance she’s caught in. (and the desire.) jimin and taehee look smug, if anything, and seojin just looks amusedly confused, unsure as to what’s going on but enjoying it thoroughly anyway. jeongsuk’s barely moved from her place, ass glued to the plush seat as she watches the three wave to the crowd which drunkenly yells back in response, the lights dimming and stage emptying, before everything goes back to normal. the lights of the club turn back on, stage being cleared as the dj takes his spot again, the rappers nowhere to be seen, leaving a startled daze in their wake and an audience awed.
“so,” jimin giggles, leaning forward in her seat, exposing her cleavage teasingly, lips caught in a satisfied smile. “that was interesting.”
“oh, it was,” agrees taehee, then turning to whisper in seojin’s ear whatever the hell was cooking on between the two best friends, a lot more close than how they were before the performance. jeongsuk thinks they might have been drunker than they thought, but here she is, mind too awake and filled with questions too many, turning to the side to catch jimin’s pleased gaze.
“what the hell? you guys knew my neighbour?and the fact that she is going to perform here?”
jimin laughs again, waving her hand a bit as she leans back. “ah, no. we didn’t know initially. after i got in contact with hoseok and he told me the names of his other two friends, we sorta connected the dots and realised yoonji is the woman you can’t shut up about. i haven’t met her in person, but we did know of her.”
“and you had to bring me here? oh my god. what else, was she a part of this whole plan too, that’s why she didn’t tell me she is the coolest fucking rapper?” jeongsuk inquires, the funny feeling bubbling in her stomach more with every word being said, eyes growing wider. as if further confirming what just took place isn’t an illusion and happened in real life. at her questions, jimin clicks her tongue, shaking her head.
“nah,” she says. “hoseok said he won’t tell her, either. you know, the fact that you are close friends with me! someone he knows, and you’re coincidentally someone who yoonji also, very interestingly, can’t stop speaking about. why she didn’t tell you she raps and makes music, i don’t know my friend. it was worth it, though. you look like you died like four times.”
“fuck you,” jeongsuk swears though there is no bite to it, discreetly smiling into her drink as she thinks of what jimin says. someone yoonji also can’t stop speaking about. her cheeks grow warmer, the heat from earlier still swimming in her belly, soft and incessant and swirling around pleasantly, spreading like a gentle fire throughout her body.
despite being, admittedly, turned on a little, which is a mortifying thing she can deal with later, jeongsuk feels good. really fucking good. everything couldn’t have aligned more perfectly than this, and though she would’ve preferred being a little more prepared than this whole thing being thrown at her so suddenly, this isn’t so bad either. the curiosity over why yoonji didn’t think telling her she raps and is really good at it was significant piece of knowledge is still there, especially when they have been talking a lot more these recent weeks, but she doesn’t give it much thought. not that it matters much, anyway. what matters right now is how badly she wants to see her face up close, possible kiss her too while she’s at it, and how hot yoonji is.
jeongsuk is so glad she’s wearing a very sexy outfit. seems as though jimin had hit the bullseye with her earlier comment of i want to have sex look on her, as much as jeongsuk hates to admit it. although she, without a doubt, wants to have really nice sex with yoonji –if she wants it, too–, she also wants hold her hand very gently and pet her hair. it’s a little complicated, but her crush is a lot bigger than she might’ve thought it was.
downing two more shots, they settle into the seats and let the alcohol numb their minds just the right amount, not completely wasted but not sober to worry or think too much either. jeongsuk still isn’t as drunk as she’d expected herself to be, but it’s a given considering the stages of panic and shock and horniness and acceptance she went through in the last hour. somehow, the drinks don’t empty and their glasses get refilled, and there are even some very nice snacks on the table, but taehee and seojin seem to have other plans. asking them too, the both of them stumble away towards the dance floor after jimin and jeongsuk tell them they’re going to stay back at the booth, disappearing into the mass of bodies. most probably grinding or making out more than dancing, or whatever it is that almost-a-couple-but-still-say-they’re-friends do.
it’s just the two of them for a while, jimin typing away on her phone, acrylics tapping unceasingly on the screen, and jeongsuk swirling the drink in her hand, body warm and head just a little fuzzy. and then– there are people joining them. not just people, though, the three performers of the night, wide smiles and loud voices and big hugs, all of which jimin responds to with equal fervour, and jeongsuk a little shyly, shaking their hands and feeling her brain short circuit for a beat too long when yoonji’s initial expression of shock subsides and she holds her hand, her lips curling into that knowing smile of hers, similar to the one she wore when she was on stage, just with an added factor of pleasant surprise.
jimin goes over to the other side and sits between the two men, all three of them chatting animatedly and having the time of their lives, while yoonji sits next to a suddenly very quiet, suddenly very uncertain jeongsuk.
if she could, she would apologise for the mess of a human she is. she really would. but yoonji is cool and jeongsuk isn’t and she wouldn’t speak more to further prove how uncool she is, given her state.
“um,” she says intelligently when yoonji turns towards her.
“jeongsuk-ah. hi,” she says, voice gentle and face pretty and lips even prettier. jeongsuk hums back in reply, eyes wide and flickering to hers for a second before dropping them back down. “do you like it here?”
“hi,“ she stops for a second, then nods her head, licking her suddenly dry lips. “yes. i do.” a moment of silence passes between them, with the sounds of the other three still talking loudly, and only then jeongsuk musters up the courage to speak again. she might not get this chance again. “yoonji unnie, the performance– it was so good. you’re really good. i, um. loved it. a lot. you looked very cool.”
never-fucking-mind.
yoonji appears to find her struggle amusing, for she giggles, gums showing and eyes turning into crescents. “thank you, i’m glad you liked it.”
jeongsuk nods, feeling as though she’s barely drunk anything, all too aware of her surroundings and herself and yoonji, fingers wringing and untangling in her lap. she sighs, swallowing thickly. there go the compliments and greetings, but what now? how the fuck does she tell her she looks very, very pretty, that wants to make out, thank you very much, and the fact that jeongsuk wants to cry, or sit in her lap, or have yoonji sit in her lap, she doesn’t mind either.
maybe the alcohol didn’t go to her head, after all. all of it just made her hornier than she’s ever been. maybe it’s the stage of being single or not having hooked up or finding anyone attractive or nice enough before yoonji came barging into her life with her cigarettes and green hair and cute dog and pretty smiles and those– hands. those fucking hands. the hands she wants around her neck, maybe. or also in her own, that’d be nice too. why is this happening to her? when was she last this aroused? or infatuated? maybe yoonji will be disgusted. maybe she’ll politely tell her she’s not interested and jeongsuk will have enough embarrassment and shame to deal with for the rest of her life.
“jeongsuk?”
“hmm?” she hopes her voice isn’t shaky, for her insides are all a nervous mess.
yoonji is quiet for a while, enough for jeongsuk to look up at the lack of words and blush when she finds yoonji looking at her with an intensity in her gaze that wasn’t really there before, like ever. “you look good. really good.”
“thank you,” she squeals, gaze falling down to yoonji’s chest and her shirt, her skirt and the stockings and her pink knees and then snapping back up when she realises what she’s doing, seeing yoonji smirk. “unnie–“
“wanna dance? i’ll have a drink first, and then we can go, if you want.” her eyes glint, hope rising in them for a second and jeongsuk can’t look away, breath caught in her throat as she nods once, then blinking and nodding again, more firmly.
“yes, i’d like that.”
the other smiles, and as promised, drags her by the hand to the large dance floor after throwing back some really highly alcoholic drinks, looking extremely attractive as she does so. jeongsuk also takes the chance to empty her glass, grimacing at the bittersweet aftertaste but liking the burn down her throat anyway.
the club is large enough to accommodate the amount of people there are currently here, and there’s no real reason to stand so close as they finally come to a stop, yoonji’s pale fingers still wrapped around jeongsuk’s wrist, her eyes darker.
something burns brighter in jeongsuk’s chest, fuelled by a want so unadulterated and the thrum of the song in her veins. liquid courage, she thinks, then tries not to think much at all as she takes a step back, their gazes still connected, chests heaving even though they haven’t done anything. with the next beat of the song, she lets her hips sway, body moving in tune with the song as if it was waiting to, the burn in her chest amplifying when yoonji’s mouth moves into what she reads as a curse word, before she follows, hands finding the dip of jeongsuk’s waist and settling there like they’re used to it. so close jeongsuk can smell her perfume, the one she always wears, of tangerines.
her breath stutters, and they’re moving together then, rocking to the beat, movements slow and deliberate and defying the tension brewing between them that’s so thick and dripping of desire and impatience. maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the rush that comes with the darkness of the club and the pulsating music, but jeongsuk is no stranger to wanting yoonji. she has, for some time, and hopes with all her might yoonji wants more than just a night too.
the song changes, someone in the back trips and disrupts the flow, security is called, but they are not a part of it. jeongsuk can’t hear any of the commotion, all senses narrowing down to this one child of the moon before her, milky skin and stars in her eyes. yoonji’s fingers press into her skin a little tighter, and she doesn’t know who moves first, but it’s with a gasp that gets swallowed between them, their mouths fitting together in a kiss too perfect, so good.
the dam breaks and what was in her chest is now spilling over the edges, sticky and warm, sweet. yoonji’s lips are as soft as she’d imagined them to be, moving slowly and taking her time, the opposite of precarious as she traces jeongsuk’s mouth with her own and learns every inch of it. jeongsuk tries her best kissing back like her, feeling a little weak in the knees but the adrenaline rush is overpowering. the kiss turns from testing and chaste to something fiery and harder, laced transparent avidity.
yoonji tastes so, so good.
they aren’t dancing anymore, but there is no need to. the way their bodies press and hold and mould together is an intricate routine on its own, the muted music in the background and louder sounds of their lips and hearts and breaths better than anything she’s ever danced to.
jeongsuk snakes a hand into yoonji’s hair, feeling the softness of it between her fingers, having half a mind not to pull too hard, which goes down the drain as yoonji chooses that exact moment to teasingly bite at her bottom lip and suck it into her mouth, easing the gentle dents her teeth leave behind with her tongue, and as the action causes jeongsuk’s hand in yoonji’s hair to tighten involuntarily, there are two things that happen that all but knock her off her feet, the only thing keeping her steady being yoonji’s firm hold.
one, yoonji’s bun comes loose and her hair falls in gentle waves on her shoulders, unbelievably gorgeous, and two, yoonji moans at the action of jeongsuk pulling her hair, the wanton sound of it adding to the delicious swirl of heat in her lower belly, the press of their mouths suddenly electrifying, every little touch heady. they break apart with gasps of their own, eyes closed as they catch their breaths, foreheads attached.
slowly, the sensible part of jeongsuk’s brain starts functioning again and she opens her eyes, flushing when she finds herself being watched by a pair of dark, cat-like eyes. yoonji’s face looks awestruck for whatever reason, which turns into a soft smile as she brings a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind jeongsuk’s ear, then touching her dangling earrings, the action so loving and so, so careful. jeongsuk swallows, barely blinking so she doesn’t miss out on even a second of the vision before her, how beautiful yoonji looks like this. the warmth in her gaze and the redness and swell of her lips and the pale pink staining her cheeks. how she’s the only thing jeongsuk can focus on right now, everything else in the background and nonexistent to her, as if the crowd and the music and the dancing bodies weren’t there in the first place.
“hey,” yoonji says finally, and though it’s just a single word, her voice still makes jeongsuk’s knees tremble a little, remembering how she rapped and how much it turned her on. how embarrassing. “you okay?”
“hmm? yes, okay. very good, feeling– nice,” she mumbles, looks down for a second before meeting her eyes again, giving her a sheepish look, which probably looks more like a grimace than anything with how awkwardly she’s pulling on her muscles to form what should be a smile. “unnie. you’re– you rap, and your lips– um. they’re very nice.“
“hold on,” yoonji suddenly cuts her off, shame and dread filling her for a moment before it’s washed away completely by the reassuring smile yoonji offers her, as well as her hand. “somewhere else, okay? c’mon. we can talk somewhere quiet.”
jeongsuk nods and takes her hand shortly after, unable do much. some part of her wants to decline and stay back, tell her she wants to say whatever big words she’s about to say here. where there is noise and people and she doesn’t feel the weight of her feelings pressing in too much. it’s always daunting. but then she thinks about how yoonji kissed her and how lovely she is, kind hands and kind smiles and kind heart, and how much she, too, wants this. it’s better to exchange the strings they’ve made and the twines they’ve formed to share in a setting quiet and private. just like what they’ve been all this time.
yoonji leads them through some doors and hallways, places jeongsuk doesn’t know and doesn’t care for, watching the way yoonji’s painted nails look nice against her pale skin, and how her pale skin contrasts with jeongsuk’s own slightly tanned one. their hands look pretty together, and with that being the only thought in mind, she tightens her hold, smiling when yoonji squeezes back and it’s good. it’s really good, how she isn’t worrying at all about what’s to come, and how that isn’t like her usual self. maybe it’s all yoonji, her calming presence and soothing voice and gentle touch and how it’s anchoring her right now, when everything else feels floaty and like a dream.
god. she likes her so, so much.
finally, they push past a large metal door that creaks loudly as it swings open, leading them to an average sized balcony, the balustrades old and discoloured, ground dusty. jeongsuk looks around curiously, clamping her jaw shut as she’s hit with the cold breeze, stepping out after yoonji. the view isn’t that spectacular either, just the grey back of another tall building, but it’s quiet. it’s peaceful and private and jeongsuk instantly likes it.
“they don’t use this anymore, but it’s nice. just had to beg the manager to give me a pair of extra keys so i could sneak in for a smoke or some peace. is this okay?”
“yeah,” jeongsuk turns back to her, finds her fiddling with the rings on her fingers and immediately feels warm. “yes, it’s good.”
“good.” yoonji turns back, sighing as she looks ahead, the sweet corners of her mouth quirking up. all jeongsuk is able to do is watch. admire how pretty yoonji looks even in the dimmed space and shitty lighting, and wonder how she looks to the other. if she has the same effect on yoonji as she has on jeongsuk. “c’mere.”
she stumbles forward, the sound of her heels clicking against the floor loud and abrupt, and only now does she realise how much taller she looks than yoonji. yoonji is wearing heels too, but they aren’t as tall as jeongsuk’s, so she has to crane her neck a bit as she looks at her, eyes pretty and button nose a bit pink with the cold. she’s so cute even when she’s sexy, it’s a little unfair.
as they stand side by side, yoonji turns to her fully, the look on her face soft.
“jeongsuk-ah,” she says, voice low and honeyed and jeongsuk wants to live in it. she hums. “can i kiss you again?”
at her affirmative nod, yoonji leans in, her warm breath fanning jeongguk’s lips, making her shiver, and then, they’re kissing like their lips never parted. it’s slower this time, drawn out and laced with comfort and trust. knowing it can happen anytime, that it’s in the out and they can keep this. that it’s yoonji who wants her and yoonji that she wants. the chill of the weather is no more as they share body heat and space, hearts an awry calm, the space raucously silent.
as they get lost in the gentle press of their mouths, it’s only as serene that yoonji breathes the words into her mouth, a promise jeongsuk drinks up and tucks under her tongue, behind her heart, in her throat. and as yoonji’s confession mixes up with her own, it’s easier to be brave and let her own words spill past her lips too, whispering them in the safety of yoonji’s tender mouth and the gap between her teeth.
“sugar,” yoonji says, whispers, breathes. jeongsuk closes her eyes shut, hoping to god the weird sound that came from her didn’t actually come from her and was a dream. “sweet thing.”
“unnie,” she groans, pulling back to make a poor attempt at glaring. yoonji looks way too smug for her own good. also very, very hot. “stop that. you’re so– what is it with you and pet names, anyway?”
“what,” yoonji laughs, cheeks bunching up with it. “you’re saying you don’t like them? alright then. how about,“ she trails off, a teasing grin on her lips.
jeongsuk’s heart almost drops to her ass, tongue suddenly too heavy in her mouth. her voice is curious, and a little hopeful as she asks, “well?”
“girlfriend?”
“i mean,” she says, looking down to fiddle with her sleeve for a bit before peering at the other through her lashes, hoping the dark covers up the deep flush on her face. “you should kiss me again. just to like– make sure.”
this is so much at odds with how this night started. though what she was feeling earlier was fiery and passionate and very, very full of tension, this entire sweet interaction is leaving her equally breathless. she wouldn’t have, in anyway, imagined her day to go like this. maybe nothing could have gone better than this.
as if hearing her musings and further proving her point right, yoonji presses her smiling lips to jeongsuk’s, chasing away any thoughts in the moment and filling her head up with nothing but warmth, the moon shining nicely upon them and the dark of the night wrapping around them, not unkind.
she feels the happiness settle deep into her bones, profuse and incontestable.
-
the smoke from the cigarette curls and dissolves before them, little clouds of it mixing into the air. yoonji’s lips pucker around the filter end, pink like her knuckles. her nails are blue and so is her hair, and the sweater one too many sizes big on her is a lovely shade of bottle green, swallowing her figure. jeongsuk abandons her place on the bean bag and walks a few steps to stand next to her, arms perched on the railing and faces now turned to look at each other.
yoonji draws a deep breath, lungs full of smoke. with the next words she speaks, the contaminated air leaves her mouth in puffs. it shouldn’t look as hot as it does because, you know, she’s killing her lungs and jeongsuk should be better than thinking it’s attractive, and maybe try to stop her. she hasn’t, but it’s a warm feeling to notice yoonji decreasing the amount of tobacco she inhales because of her anyway. “did you talk to taehee about bringing yeontan over some time?”
jeongsuk nods, unable to speak further than a small i did, distracted by her lips and pretty fingers and the cigarette. and with yoonji’s next inhale, she doesn’t let herself think much more than that, hand coming up to carefully grasp the other’s jaw and leaning in to press their mouths together as well as pulling the other in, swallowing yoonji’s surprised gasp.
having given no other choice, yoonji lets her lips move in tandem with jeongsuk’s, and as the need to breathe out grows with each passing second, she finally exhales in her mouth, tongues meeting languidly and the bitter taste of the smoke entering her mouth, heat and want swirling in her belly. jeongsuk drinks it up, kisses her for a few more dragged moments before pulling back, giggling.
“fuck,” yoonji curses, licking her lips as they remain parted, still taking in what just happened. good to see how much of an effect jeongsuk, too, can have on her, to know she isn’t the only one suffering. “holy hell, jeongsuk-ah, that was so hot.”
“i know,” she laughs, rolling her eyes when yoonji still stares at her with something akin to wonder and awe in her eyes, kissing the momentary shock away. their lips make a loud sound as they meet and move and then detach, causing multiple flips in her stomach despite doing this any chance they get. the comfortable silence stretches for a couple of minutes.
“unnie. i was thinking.”
“hmm?”
“holly’s been a little sulky lately because she knows you asked me out on the same day as her birthday. i think she doesn’t feel so special anymore.”
yoonji blinks, adjusting to the sudden change in topic before letting a smile grace her lips, corners of her eyes crinkling with the stretch of it. she glances towards where holly is peaceful curled on herself, asleep and definitely not sad, then back at jeongsuk, grinding the neglected cigarette stub in the ashtray nearby. “it’s a good thing, though. you know, two celebrations and the same day. i’m making sure both are treated special here, please appreciate my effort a little.”
“what effort, what celebrations? it’s barely been three weeks, don’t get too ahead of yourself,” jeongsuk teases, the curl of her lips defying her words. she takes one of yoonji’s hands in her own, tracing the lines on her palm with the other. “though the idea of it does sound nice.”
“it does,” yoonji agrees easily, turning her palm around to link their fingers together, leaning in to peck her nose gently. “wanna take holly for a walk later? also maybe spend the night at mine?”
“also maybe make out till you say we should fall asleep with our mouths attached so you wake up already kissing me?”
“that was one time!” yoonji laughs, stepping closer and wrapping her free arm around jeongsuk’s waist, hugging like she always loves to, being close like she always loves to. “let me go, no walks or sleepovers for you.”
“nooo,” jeongsuk says softly, resting her face in the sweet curve of yoonji’s neck, her skin soft. “don’t go away.”
“fine, whatever,” yoonji says with faux exasperation, standing on the tip of her toes to press a warm kiss to her cheek when jeongguk pulls back from her neck. “not going. you just convinced me.”
“a very difficult task,” jeongsuk says, hugging her tighter as yoonji hums and places her chin on jeongsuk’s shoulder, the warmth and flowers blooming between their chests so pretty, so delicate. she closes her eyes, lets herself enjoy the weight of the moment settle nicely on her shoulders and forget everything else for the time being, the taste of cigarettes and candies still lingering on her tongue and lips, heart at ease.
yoonji has a way with turning every second they spend together magical, worth remembering. jeongsuk hopes it stays this way for a long time, because although it is a path she didn’t see her life going on, it’s nothing short of everything she wanted. yoonji is her wants and dreams in human form, as cliche as it sounds, made of gentle words and squeaky laughters and kind eyes, sweet lips and a warm heart and hands that touch her soul from the outside.
in her, with her, she’s found a piece of home she had left a long time ago, and this time, no one intends on letting go.