Archive of Our Own

“Hey JoJo... you didn’t forget to bring the money again, right?” Caesar questioned, keeping one of his vibrant green eyes focused on the road ahead of him. 

While steadily keeping two hands firmly grasped on the wheel, he continued speaking to his husband in the passenger seat. “I mean, last time you forgot it we were just going to the store around the corner. If we don’t have any this time, I don’t think we can go all the way back.” 

It was true that no money would result in quite a few issues for the pair. However, it wouldn’t be that miserable, considering that the only part they cared about most regarding their trip to the zoo today was the fact that they would be alone for once. 

When it came to their daily lives, Caesar and Joseph hadn’t exactly had the most privacy. They each knew it was because Caesar was blessed with such a loving grandfather, and Joseph was blessed with a loving… every other relative that he had. 

Regardless, it grew a bit tiring spending constant time around their respective family members... especially when they all seemed so eager to interrupt the couple’s alone time together, and for miscellaneous reasons. 

It could be early in the morning, when every other adult on their street was likely tucked away in their beds, being able to enjoy the rest… but two of the teenagers in Joseph’s family seemed to get a kick out of stopping him and his husband from enjoying theirs. 

Although, it was always Caesar who was the one to actually go and tend to them. Joseph was such a deep sleeper he probably wouldn’t get up even if the house were to be on fire; but Caesar had trouble sleeping in general, let alone through interruptions. 

And once he would be forced out of his previously joyful slumber to go and check the door, he’d see just who he was always expecting to see… Joseph’s beaming, pompadour-sporting relative and his odd friend who he occasionally forgot the name of. 

They nearly always wanted to stop by and talk to Caesar, and he was never really sure as to why, but entertained it nonetheless. 

Another one of Joseph’s family members who visited their house often was Jotaro Kujo, Caesar recalled. He would stop by and ask him for advice or guidance on just about any topic... or even share some of his oceanography knowledge, because Caesar would actually engage him in conversation unlike a certain somebody else. 

And whenever that somebody else (Joseph) tried to pop in and give his two cents, it usually started a silly argument between the two… and Caesar always found them to be pretty funny. 

Even Joseph had managed to get his fair share of Caesar’s family, his family being his grandfather William Zeppeli, although that situation had been more of an unforeseen incident. Caesar’s grandfather had managed to somehow find Joseph’s tequila outfit in their home and when Joseph walked into the room looking for him, he took one glance at the dress, shrieked, and executed the Joestar technique as fast as possible out of the room. 

Caesar had laughed about it for weeks afterward, but Joseph still didn’t think it was too funny. He was certain that to this day he was still catching curious glances from the man every time they were in the same room. 

It was true that Caesar loved Joseph’s family dearly, and Joseph loved Caesar’s grandfather just as much… but at times they needed to be solely with each other for a bit. After all, it was what the whole “marriage” concept entailed. 

“Relax, don’t worry, I got it,” Joseph replied breezily, readjusting the hat he was wearing. It happened to be the same one he had worn during the car ride to Switzerland, back when they had been searching for the Pillar Men a few years back. “But can you believe this, Caesarino? We’ll actually get to be by ourselves for once!”

“I was just thinking the same, amore mio,” Caesar cooed, a smile on his lips. 

“Imagine how funny it’d be if we still managed to get interrupted,” Joseph chuckled to himself, peering out the car window and letting his eyes roam the passing terrain. It all looked so beautiful and natural; rolling green hills in the distance, grassy lands surrounding them on all sides, cerulean blue sky over their heads and nearly blinding sunshine as the cherry on top.

His peaceful sight viewing suddenly got interrupted by the feeling of a pair of fingers pinching his leg rather harshly. “Ouch!” Joseph wailed, reaching to apply comfort to the attacked spot. “What the he-”

“Don’t say stuff like that,” Caesar ordered, not even bothering to spare Joseph a glance. “You’re gonna jinx it, and then our day’s going to end up ruined.” 

“Oh, please. Am not,” Joseph insisted, rolling his eyes. 

“Am too,” Caesar replied almost immediately, figuring that Joseph was about to begin something like this. 

“Am not.” 

“Am too.”

“Am too,” Joseph switched, a mischievous smile on his face.

“Am not,” Caesar replied instantly, before quickly growing annoyed when he realized he had fallen for the trick. “You know what…” Not taking his eyes off the road, he managed to find Joseph’s chest with his right hand and shove him away to show his irritation.

Joseph only chuckled in response. If these were the type of jokes and silly banger that the day had in store for them, he was all for it.

Masses of people awaited the two once they entered. There seemed to be folk occupying every single inch of the attraction. In an attempt to find even the smallest bit of a clearing, Joseph had to endure Caesar pulling him through the groups of people at a rather quick pace. It didn’t take long before the blonde began dragging him wildly around all the crowds, with Joseph getting thrown around as if he were riding some wild coaster. It was the zoo, not an amusement park! 

Joseph complained and groaned about the sea of individuals quite a bit as they went along, but Caesar reminded him they were only strangers. He insisted that it would be much worse if they happened to be one of their family members, and Joseph couldn’t exactly argue with that. 

However, he had also forgotten something about the zoo, and the thought came back to him only once it was too late: how strange it smelled in certain parts! 

Only when Joseph went to cover his nose minutes after they had escaped the crowds did he realize that his hand was no longer being held and Caesar was no longer beside him. He looked around briefly before glimpsing his partner heading towards a bench not too far from where he was standing. They were now in a less-populated area, which Joseph was more than thankful for. “Hey, little Caesar,” He sang, hurrying over to meet him. 

“JoJo… why were you covering your nose?” Caesar questioned, although perhaps it was one of those questions that didn’t necessarily need a response. It was something that seemed to have Joseph written all over it, after all. “If it was because of the smell… you do know that there will be nothing but animals here anyway, correct?” 

“That’s, uh... besides the point,” Joseph attempted to change the subject masterfully (although it wasn’t quite so). He grasped a hold of Caesar’s hand just then, attempting to pull him up from where he was now seated. “Anyway, can we go and see the pandas? They’re so adorable.” 

“Well, hold on. Come and take a seat first,” Caesar replied, gently pulling his hand away and patting the empty space beside him for emphasis.

“Yeah, of course. I need it after that whole ass run you took me on,” Joseph groaned, plopping himself down on the bench and crossing his arms. “You know, you’re acting like such a field trip chaperone right now. I’m surprised you haven’t asked me if I need to use the bathroom yet.” 

“Don’t worry, JoJo… that was next on the list,” Caesar claimed, picking a white crumpled piece of paper out from his pocket. This caused Joseph’s eyes to widen in disbelief. 

“You have a list?” 

“Sì. It’s where I planned everything. I’ve added a few activities for you as well.  Would you like to take a look?” Caesar offered the page to Joseph, and he obliged. 

“But um…” Joseph began after a few minutes of staring at the paper in confusion. “...Caesarino, this is a list of things for children to do at the zoo,” He tilted it upside down as if there were some secret passageway where more words could fall from it. 

“I know it is, that’s why I gave it to you,” Caesar retorted, managing to keep a straight face even as a low growling sound came from Joseph. “Go nuts.”

“Anyway, before you hurt my feelings ... you printed the zoo’s rules here, too? Jeez, when did you become so conforming?” Joseph joked; his eyes continued to scan the paper as he began reading off a few of the guidelines that Caesar had written. “‘Don’t feed animals that aren’t supposed to be fed, don’t disturb the zoo’s environment, don’t tap the glass.’ Ah, here’s an interesting one.” 

“‘Don’t try to guess an animal’s next line, Joseph.’” He turned towards Caesar with an eyebrow raised. “Now Caesar… call me crazy, but I have the sneaking suspicion that that isn’t an official rule here.” 

“Ah, of course, marito mio. You’re so smart, I can’t get anything by you,” Caesar sang, a bit sarcastically, as he took the paper back from Joseph. “I had to add that rule in. It came personally from your grandfather.” 

Joseph shook his head in disbelief as Caesar continued talking. How had Jonathan just ratted him out like that? “He told me that when you were younger, you tried it.” 

“Okay, but that was like… I don’t know! Five-year-old me, right?” Joseph questioned, trying to find a way to reduce the silliness amount of what he had done. “I had to be around that age, maybe even younger!” 

“Hmm… no, Signore Joestar told me that it happened when you were 18... which, if I recall correctly, was just a few years ago ,” Caesar sang mockingly. And Joseph’s hands immediately flew up to his face, looking to cover them from his shame. 

The Italian laughed a bit before lightly taking hold of his wrists, attempting to remove them from their position. “Relax, JoJo. I’m only poking fun.” Joseph’s hands refused to budge, so he continued his attempts at comforting him verbally. “Personally, I found the thought of you trying to guess an animal’s next line adorable. Of course, it’s also ridiculous... but it’s possibly the most you thing I’ve ever heard.”

“A me thing, huh?” Joseph replied, slowly dropping his hands and allowing Caesar to take them in his. “Well, all-weird-things-I’ve-done-as-an-adult aside, I’m really happy about the two of us being here.” 

“Ah, me too,” Caesar hummed, bringing Joseph’s hands up to his lips. “Regardless of all the silly little things that your grandfather told me you might do, let’s agree to not let anything bother us today, cucciolo.” 

“Agre... wait, there were more?” Joseph questioned, wide eyed, and Caesar let out a laugh as a response. Their gaze soon landed on one another’s, and their eyes gained the usual soft look they grew whenever they looked at each other.

They held each other’s stare for just a bit longer before a movement in the distance happened to catch Joseph’s eye. He was probably a bit more excited about the source than he should’ve been, gently taking his hands from Caesar’s grasp and pointing in the direction. “Ooh, Caesar look! There are birds over there.”

“JoJo, there are birds everywhere ,” the other boy chuckled, leaning back against the seat. 

Joseph shrugged, his eyes continuing to observe their surroundings, until he made another observation. The small gasp that left his lips told Caesar everything that he needed to know: something else had attracted his interest. “Caesar, can we go over there? Please? It’s a petting zoo!” 

Caesar lifted an eyebrow. “Well yes, eventually... but I wanted to look over this firs..” 

“Come on, it’s right there. It’s not far, so we don’t need a map. And then when we’re done, we can go right back to looking at your ridicul… I mean amazing list,” Joseph corrected, trying his hardest to keep from sniggering when Caesar shot him a look. 

Nonetheless, he decided that they’d go... for one, it wouldn’t hurt, and for another, Joseph would probably try to make his way over there regardless of his answer. He let the Joestar entwine his fingers with his and pull him in the direction towards what he had been so excited for. 

Upon approaching, and through the few groups of people who had also decided to make their way towards the small petting zoo, the first animals that were visible to the pair were a trio of brown and white calves that were cows. Their small frames were covered with woolly fur that Caesar had not previously known they had. Regardless of the new and surprising knowledge he had gained about them, however, they still looked cute and Caesar wanted to bring them to Joseph’s attention. 

“Hey look JoJo, there are cow…” 

“No, thank you!” Joseph exclaimed almost immediately, causing both of Caesar’s eyebrows to raise in surprise at how unsettled he had suddenly grown. “You know how I feel about cows, Caesar! I can’t stand them. They slobber everywhere.”

“So do y- Ahem. I mean… yes, you’re correct, bambino. How silly of me, I must’ve forgotten. We’ll go elsewhere,” Caesar cut himself off, looking for another animal to head towards. 

While Caesar was busy with that task, Joseph made sure that he was no longer looking in his direction before turning towards the few cows, mischief lining his face. Sure, the way that their species dribbled everywhere caused him upset and made him disgusted, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a bit of fun with them. 

“Your next line is moo-” 

“JoJo, what the hell are you doing?” Caesar demanded, causing Joseph to jump. Had Caesar heard him? He was going to tell Jonathan about this for sure, wasn’t he? 

“Nothing, nothing,” Joseph replied quickly, his eyes darting around the petting zoo for a distraction. There were a pair of baby lambs in the distance that made his heart swell, so he immediately hurried over... partially so that he could shower them in affection, but mostly so that Caesar wouldn’t be able to bring up the entire ‘guessing an animal’s next line’ thing. 

Though there were quite a few, once Joseph ended up in front of the small lambs, a certain one caught his eye immediately. 

To others, its bright pink ears, smooth white head, and fluffy-appearing torso wouldn’t make it stand out too much. However, something about it made Joseph want to get closer. He noticed the way that its small mouth opened wide as its beady eyes met Joseph’s, the smoothness of its gums revealing to him that this lamb was not more than a few days old. To Joseph’s delight, it began drawing closer, and Joseph reached out a single finger with hopes of petting it...

“Ow! Caesar!” Joseph yelped suddenly, hopping away from the enclosure. “It bit me!”

“What?” The Italian questioned as he approached him, raising an eyebrow. 

“It bit me, the nerve of it! You know what, I think we should go look at something else,” Joseph demanded, pulling Caesar away from the other small animals in anguish. 

“But wait... doesn’t it not have teeth, JoJo?” Caesar questioned, trying not to laugh as they headed away. His spouse was causing a scene in public again, but they were each used to it by now. “It’s a newborn.” 

“So? It still hurt!” Joseph insisted, looking over his finger carefully. “Was that even safe? Ugh, I’m probably going to get some weird lamb disease now!” 

“You’re being ridiculous.”

After the pair’s interesting encounter at the petting zoo, Caesar went to refer back to the detailed notes he had taken it upon himself to write as Joseph continued fretting over his finger. The blonde was just about to open his mouth to make a comment, when all of a sudden he was interrupted by the sound of an all too familiar voice filling his ears. 

‘Woah. That sounded a bit like...’ Caesar thought to himself, attempting to cast a worried glance behind Joseph’s frame. As far as he could see, there weren’t any familiar-looking people in that direction… but then again, it was a bit difficult to peer around Joseph, when being so large and muscular ran in his family. 

Speaking of him, Caesar was surprised that he hadn’t picked up on the noise. Then again, he was probably too busy worrying about his finger to notice. 

“Caesar, what’s up? Is something the matter?” Joseph questioned just then, giving Caesar a brief glance of confusion. 

He immediately trained his eyes on Joseph instead, so that the taller boy wouldn’t be able to follow his stare. “No, everything’s fine,” Caesar insisted, which prompted Joseph to shake off his suspicions. Maybe he had just been hearing things... it was nearly impossible that someone they knew could be here today, out of all the days. 

A few minutes passed with the two standing there, and Caesar was just about to breathe out a sigh of relief when suddenly the sound echoed again, this time catching Joseph’s attention. 

So much for their earlier decision to not let anything bother them. 

“Caesar, did you hear that? I don’t believe it! It sounded a lot like-” Joseph began. He nearly tripped as he blindly lunged toward the voices he’d heard, set on finding the owners and giving them a piece of his mind. 

“JoJ-” Caesar began, before Joseph’s actions ultimately elicited a sigh from him. He brought himself to reluctantly follow, figuring this was about to be yet another instance where he’d have to pull him out of some type of mess. 

It took Joseph a while to find where the voices were coming from, but he somehow managed his way, with Caesar following him. Just as he had suspected, the group he expected the voices to be coming from were there; the three were standing amidst a few others, their focus on the vibrant green trees beyond the railing they were standing behind where a few elephants were standing idly. The red-haired student leading the conversation had his back turned to Joseph as he angrily walked up behind him. 

“I really don’t believe this! What in the hell are you doing here?” Joseph demanded, not only surprising the group he was directing his anger towards, but the unexpecting spectators who had been standing on each side of them as well. “Oh, um... sorry,” he mumbled quietly towards them.

“Mamma Mia,” Caesar murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Oh! Joseph and Caesar, what a pleasant surprise!” Kakyoin cried after spinning around, beaming at the both of them. The other two standing beside him were showcasing smiles of their own, one sporting silvery hair and the other his usual dark-brown knotted hairdo with the long braid in the back. “Hello! Mr. Avdol, Polnareff, and I weren’t expec…”

“I said, what are you doing here?” Joseph repeated, a bit quieter so he didn’t attract attention once again. Caesar squeezed his hand gently as a way of reminding him to remain calm. 

“Hey, relax, JoJo,” he urged. “It’s only Avdol, Kakyoin, and Polnareff. They’re allowed to be here on their own, alright?” 

“Ah, but I wish Iggy was here,” Polnareff sighed, jutting out his bottom lip. “We weren’t allowed to bring him in, since it’s a zoo. I tried to tell the manager guy that Iggy’s more like a human being than a dog, but they didn’t believe me!” 

“...Right. Err, anyway... where’s Jotaro?” Joseph questioned suddenly, deciding to tone his attitude down like Caesar had asked of him. He was a bit right after all; if Jotaro was not present, then technically their wishes hadn’t been entirely ignored… since neither of them were related to the three in front of them. 

“Have you not heard the news?” Kakyoin asked, looking up at Joseph with a puzzled look clear on his face. “Jotaro’s the entire reason we even showed up today! He just got a job here at this zoo’s aquarium, and we figured today was such a nice day that we’d go and visit him.” 

Hearing those words slip from Kakyoin’s lips caused Joseph and Caesar to stop in their tracks, immediately glancing towards one another with similar worried expressions plastered across their faces. “Jotaro? Works here?” Joseph urged out after a few seconds, looking frantically back towards Kakyoin. “Why?” 

“Yup,” Kakyoin says simply, as if the news that he had just shared hadn’t put a damper on the couple’s day in the slightest. “And he says that it was Caesar who gave him the okay to do so. He told me that he went to your house a few days ago and asked him if he should.” 

Upon hearing these words, Joseph shared his exasperated glance with Caesar, awaiting an explanation for the latest of the never-ending terrible plot twists that seemed to continually leave Kakyoin’s mouth. The pair had been planning this trip for what had to be more than a few weeks now; he couldn’t believe that Caesar would allow Jotaro to take up a job here, and so easily at that… it didn’t make a bit of sense to him, especially when Caesar seemed to be just as ecstatic about leaving everyone behind as he was. 

Caesar chuckled lightly, uneasily running a hand through his fluffy mop of blonde hair. “Oh, uh... mi dispiace, amore. I suppose he asked me when I was halfway asleep, since everyone always seems to drop by so early. I guess I didn’t entirely know what he was asking, so I just gave him an affirmative.” 

“Well, if that’s the case, I sure hope Jotaro doesn’t find you when you’re half asleep and starts asking you if you want to go rob a bank with him, cause then you’d be pretty screwed, huh?” Joseph commented half-jokingly, though he was trying his hardest to appear serious. He crossed his arms over his chest as he awaited for Caesar to give him a fiery response, but he instead only sighed.  

“Funny,” Caesar commented sarcastically, figuring that Joseph was only trying to act comical per usual. When Joseph didn’t respond with something witty or break out into a fit of laughs, however, he raised an eyebrow. “Wait, JoJo... you aren’t actually upset with me… are you?” 

“What do you think, Caesar?” 

“Ma porca miseria, you’ve got to be kidding me. I already told you that it wasn’t on purpose,” Caesar sharply exhaled, exasperated. Joseph soon launched into some other nonsensical comment, and they began going back and forth. 

Behold the single downside of Joseph and Caesar’s otherwise perfect relationship... their short fuses that were still present in their personalities. 

The two cared for each other immensely, but every now and again they would still find themselves butting heads on assorted ideas or topics. Even when he attempted to be the bigger person of the two, Caesar knew it was inevitable that he would eventually grow annoyed by something that Joseph did… whether it be one of his hasty actions or one of his ridiculously pointless comments. 

He also knew that it was a normal predicament, that other couples argue quite regularly as well… but he couldn’t help but feel like the situation was always different whenever he and Joseph argued… like it carried a different weight. 

The rest of the group stood awkwardly as the two continued going at it, their gazes nervously darting between the two boys. Those who had been staring at them earlier had long since departed... but they were now earning glances from entirely different patrons. Holding hands with each other one second and arguing the next… when it came to these two, it wasn’t all that surprising for people who knew them. It was no wonder the strangers were so confused. 

The odd but typical bickering continued until Polnareff stepped up, forcing an over-dramatic cough out of his mouth. “Hey!” He exclaimed, attempting to get their attention. 

As he had hoped, two pairs of eyes immediately focused on him, Caesar’s emerald green and Joseph’s teal... though their mouths were both positioned in scowls as they stared the Frenchman down. 

Right. Polnareff had forgotten how angered they grew when their pointless arguments were interrupted. The two were basically the carbon copies of one another, he swore. 

Avdol took the hint from Polnareff and decided that he would do the talking in his place. “I believe what Polnareff was trying to get at is that you two shouldn’t argue,” he offered. “I agree, and I’m sure Kakyoin feels the same. We know from firsthand experience that it doesn’t do any good for either participant.” 

If there was any group of people who should be familiar with this revelation the most, it was Joseph and Caesar. They sent each other brief sideways glances before tearing their gazes away from one another. 

The two had told each other a few years back that they would no longer have such fights like the one they had engaged in the day that Joseph had almost lost Caesar... but of course, they still couldn’t help but let a few silly ones slip every now and again. Now that there wasn’t a constant threat on their backs at all times, they didn’t necessarily see any damage in expressing their frustrations in a way other than being calm and collected. After all, it didn’t always prove effective.

Furthermore, they’d always make up properly later on... sometimes, in ways other than words. 

“We really didn’t know it would be such a big issue,” Kakyoin tagged on, suddenly veering back into the conversation. He had dropped out quite a bit ago when they started arguing… it was tiresome to listen to when it was so unnecessary. “But since it is, why don’t we all just go and talk to Jotaro about it? He can’t possibly be that busy.” 

“Yeah, let’s go. He’s probably waiting for us to show up anyway,” Polnareff agreed, before clapping his hands together motivationally. “Avdol! The map, please.” 

“You don’t know how to read maps, Polnareff,” Avdol reminded, but handed the paper over to Polnareff, regardless. Kakyoin rolled his eyes and trailed behind the two as they turned away from the elephants and began slowly attempting their way towards where Jotaro was working. With Polnareff leading the way, it would likely take a while… it was a good thing Kakyoin had ditched his usual uniform shoes today. 

Caesar and Joseph began following Kakyoin simultaneously, and it wasn’t long before the two were walking directly beside one another. It also wasn’t long before Joseph grew upset that Caesar wasn’t holding his hand anymore.

As he thought this, it started to find its way towards Caesar’s automatically, but he forced his hand to stop after suddenly remembering the heated discussion they had had just a few minutes ago. 

Was Caesar upset with him? 

Joseph was used to pushing Caesar’s buttons, and it never usually came with such a consequence… but he couldn’t help but worry. 

‘If Caesar was mad at me, he wouldn’t be walking this close to me, would he?’ Joseph thought to himself, letting his eyes roam a bit towards Caesar, but not too much so that he wouldn’t be able to tell he was looking. ‘Or maybe he’s walking this close to me because he hasn’t realized I’m here, and he’s so mad that he’s ignoring me completely!’ 

Ultimately, Joseph gave in. 

He shut an eye as if he wanted to avoid watching his hand move as he quickly pushed it towards Caesar’s and, much to his delight, the Zeppeli didn’t hesitate when accepting his request, immediately lacing their fingers together the rest of the way. 

Joseph didn’t have to look at his spouse’s face to confirm, but he knew there was a look of pure arrogance and knowingness spread across it. The arrogance- Joseph had “jinxed their day” like Caesar had warned him against earlier. The knowingness- Caesar must’ve figured that Joseph was going to go for his hand, since he was used to holding it so often. 

That dumb smirk of his. Joseph wasn’t sure there was anything he loved and hated more. 

The time was nearing the hours of midday as the group of five continued attempting their hardest to maneuver their way through the zoo, with Polnareff’s terrible map-reading skills as a guide. 

Although Avdol was itching to turn it the correct way for him, he figured he’d let Polnareff live out his tour guide fantasy for just a few minutes longer before he ultimately had to burst his bubble. As of right now, as far as Avdol was concerned, Polnareff was correct in his statement that the small N on the compass (intended to read north) instead meant ‘no, go down.’

Towards the back of the group, Joseph continued walking with a newfound pep in his step now that Caesar’s hand was in his once again; although perhaps his change in mood could also be attributed to the fact that the odorous yet natural smell that had been previously lingering had since passed. His nose had been spared. 

He was just about to happily bring this up to Caesar when his gaze trailed off and happened to focus on an all too familiar group of individuals standing in the reptile exhibit not too far away from him and the others. 

His eyes landed on the tallest and most muscular man of the three, the vibrant blue shade of his hair much too obvious. To confirm, of course, Joseph looked over the remaining two. The next had sharp strands of long blonde hair jutting out from each direction, a dark suit covering his slender frame. And the last, with his trademark checkered hat fitted over short brown hair nearly the shade of Joseph’s... It was his grandfather, Caesar’s, and Uncle Speedwagon. Unbelievable! 

Although Joseph was going off of simple suspicions earlier, he was now certain that some type of foul play was occurring. Jotaro, Polnareff, Kakyoin, and Avdol happening to be there at the same day had been coincidence enough... but as far as Joseph was concerned, it was now plain sabotage.

“Um... Caesar?” He harshly whispered then, angling his mouth towards Caesar’s ear so that he would be able to hear him clearly. “Don’t look now, but... over by the reptile exhibit, I think that-”  

His sentence was cut off by the sudden moving of Caesar’s head, as he glanced towards the direction Joseph had just instructed him not to. Joseph yelped and before Caesar could open his mouth to voice his frustration upon turning back around, the Joestar reprimanded him for blatantly ignoring the command that he had given him. “Caesar, I just told you not to look! Why did you look immediately after that?”

“I mean, I’m pretty sure when someone hears the words ‘don’t look now’ their first instinct is to look,” Caesar replied simply, raising an eyebrow. 

“Je suis d’accord!” Polnareff exclaimed over his shoulder, sending Caesar and Joseph a bright smile. “I too would look if someone told me not to look, Caesar!”  

“Aren’t you supposed to be looking at the map?” Joseph retorted, which caused Polnareff to immediately turn back around. 

“I truly can’t believe they’ve followed us here, amore,” Caesar remarked, trying to make a point of not glancing in the direction and getting Joseph on his case once again. “But, I guess there’s not much we can do about this. I know it’s irritating but... it won’t kill us to be around them for just a bit longer today, will it?” 

“It won’t kill us, huh?” Joseph repeated, scoffing in disbelief. “Have you even met our grandparents? I love Grandpa Jonathan to death... but if he gushes about ‘how cute we are’ one more time, I think I’m going to lose my mind.”  

This comment made Caesar burst out into an unrestrained laugh, because it was so true... but Joseph wasn’t done criticizing their relatives just yet. “And don’t even get me started on yours. Mr. Zeppeli is going to give me that look that he always does when he sees me, ever since he saw that stupid tequila outfit in my room, and...”  

“Oh please, he’s old. I’m sure he’s forgotten about the tequila outfit by now,” Caesar insisted, though he secretly hoped that his grandfather would bring it up so that it would cause Joseph to go berserk. 

“My whole family is evil,” Joseph continued on, “Especially Jotaro.” 

“Come on, Jotaro’s just a kid,” Caesar pointed out, which brought him back to his original point of making the comment. He swung Joseph’s hand back and forth, sending him a smile. “If we can just stick this out for a few more hours, we can leave early, and then guess what? We’ll be the only ones back at home, and we can have at least a few hours together before they hurry back to bother us.” 

Joseph looked at him a bit skeptically, but considered the possibility nevertheless. It wasn’t like they had much to choose from, anyway. “Are you sure this is gonna work, Caesarino?” 

“Of course I am. Let’s just try to have fun regardless, yeah?” Caesar pleaded, brushing his lips against Joseph’s knuckles. “And as for those three over there, we’ll have to just act like we don’t see the... never mind, they’re coming over.” 

Joseph’s eyes immediately darted up to confirm and, sure enough, there they were... all three of the individuals they were trying their hardest to evade now walking towards them with the widest smiles on their faces. So much for that idea. “Damn it,” Joseph muttered under his breath, but he managed to plaster a smile of his own on his face when they finally reached them. 

“Mr. Joestar, hello!” Kakyoin welcomed as he caught sight of Jonathan and they exchanged pleasant smiles with one another. “And hello to you, Mr. Zeppeli and Mr. Speedwagon, as well! What are you three doing here?” 

“Yeah, what are you three doing here?” Joseph echoed before Caesar sent him a warning glance.  

“We heard that Jotaro recently got a job here, and we simply had to show up,” Jonathan smiled warmly. Joseph and Caesar wanted to be upset, but their attempts were futile when Jonathan’s smile was so contagious. “Is that why you five are here as well?” 

“More or less,” Kakyoin replied, shrugging. 

“Wait... what’s going on over there?” Speedwagon questioned, his eyes trained on the confused Polnareff who was rotating the map in every direction wildly... it was clear he didn’t have the slightest idea how to read it. Avdol was standing beside him, watching with the most tired expression painted on his face.

“Oh, he’s just trying to figure out how to get the map to work,” Caesar explained.

The six spent a moment focusing on the commotion surrounding Avdol and Polnareff, watching for a bit before exchanging glances with one another and shaking it off. Jonathan changed the subject. 

“Well, we should probably get going, as Baron wants to see the frogs... but it was really great to see you all today!” he exclaimed, before turning solely towards Joseph and Caesar. Joseph shut an eye, bracing for impact. “And you two! I’m so happy for you.” 

“Gramps, we’ve been together for like four years...” Joseph began. 

“I know, but I just can’t get over how cute you two are!” 

There it was. Caesar bit his lip almost immediately, trying his hardest to hold in his laughter as Joseph stood there with an expression that clearly read ‘I definitely saw that coming.’ Though guessing people’s next lines were his thing, he was sure nearly anybody could’ve predicted Jonathan’s.  

“...Right. Well, thank y... wait, are we supposed to say thank you? I’m never sure how to respond when we get that compliment,” Joseph admitted truthfully, looking at Caesar for guidance, who just rolled his eyes jokingly. 

As Kakyoin decided to head over and assist Polnareff with the map, the conversation that Joseph and Caesar were having with Jonathan remained on how cute they looked together for quite a while before the blue-haired gentleman eventually decided they would take leave, and for real this time. 

The two bid their grandparents and Speedwagon goodbye sweetly, clearly the most relieved about the fact that they were finally heading off and leaving them be. Once they turned around and began parting ways from the rest of the group, Caesar’s gaze focused elsewhere while Joseph kept his on the three leaving... just in case. 

And just as he had expected, Will ended up spinning around and sending Joseph his look. He had called it!

Joseph made sure he got a good glimpse of it before Will turned back to face the direction he was heading in, acting as if he had never done anything of the sort. 

It was quick, and it was expertly disguised, but Joseph had seen it as plain as day, and he couldn’t wait to rub it in Caesar’s face later. 

It had reached the early minutes of the 12:00 hour when Polnareff finally managed to figure out the map, and the group were finally minutes away from the aquarium after redirecting so that they were going the right way instead of whichever wrong direction Polnareff had been guiding them for the past hour or so. 

Though the other two in the group didn’t seem outwardly bothered by Polnareff’s lack of map-reading skills and essentially useless walk he had just led them on, Caesar and Joseph were easily growing more and more irritated by the second. 

They were beginning to wonder why they were continuing to follow the others anyway, when the opportunity to escape had presented itself plenty of times. At the same time, Joseph remembered that Caesar had said sticking it out for a few hours was the best way to go if they wanted that time to themselves later on... and that was too precious to lose. 

“Caesar, Joseph! Over here!” A low-pitched, gruff voice echoed from the left where Joseph remembered the giraffe exhibit was located, thanks to the map. The two didn’t even need to turn in the direction their names had been called from in order to decide who the voice belonged to. 

Okuyasu, and they were certain that meant that Josuke was with him. 

Though, the pair weren’t even surprised at this point; it was simply just what any other day was like back at their home, with random family members and friends popping in every so often, and irritating them without any true intent of doing so. 

“Alright, what do you two want?” Joseph demanded as the two came over to meet them, before acting as if he were truly pondering their answer. “Wait, no, let me guess! You’re here because you want to congratulate Jotaro for his dumb new job.”

“Actually, no,” Okuyasu admitted, shrugging and looking at Josuke for him to continue the response.

“We’re here because we knew you two would be here, and we wanted to annoy you,” Josuke smirked, his voice wobbling as a laugh was attempting to be suppressed. 

Well, scratch what was said earlier about the entire accidental irritation thing. Maybe a few did have true intent of doing so. 

“Actually, there was something we wanted other than that,” Okuyasu recalled suddenly, adding onto the end of what Josuke had just said. “Caesar, we wanted to hang out with you!” 

Immediately, Joseph jumped to put an end to that idea. “Sorry, but there’s no way in hell that’s happening. Caesar and I have been trying to be alone for quite a while now, so why would we allow you to split us up?” There was no chance that he was going to simply let Okuyasu and Josuke take away the only thing that had been keeping him sane on such a hellacious turnout of a day. 

“Just for a few minutes or so! And then we’ll leave you both alone, for a few days!” Josuke pleaded. A few days? That was heavenly-sounding, but not something that Josuke and Okuyasu would likely be able to manage. 

“So, can we borrow your husband?” Josuke continued, lacing his fingers together and shaking them as he begged. Okuyasu caught sight of what he was doing and quickly mimicked him. “Pretty please, with a cherry on top?” 

“A cherry?” Kakyoin questioned from a few feet ahead of them. 

Caesar’s eyes met Joseph’s then, an amused expression crossing his face as a result of the humorous wording Josuke had used when asking. “Well, what do you say, marito mio? Do they have your permission to borrow me?” 

“Ugh,” Joseph groaned, allowing his eyes to transfer between the neutral expression his husband was wearing to the hopeful looks that were plastered on Okuyasu and Josuke’s faces. Why was it that he had to be the one to share his significant other with the entire family? He’d have to ask Grandpa Jonathan if this same attention was ever given to him and Erina. 

“I guess so,” he decided after a few seconds of pondering, watching a bit grimly as Okuyasu and Josuke released whoops of excitement and high-fived each other.  “You two are going to owe me one hell of an amount of compensation after this, though. And so are you, Caesar.” 

“And I will later, cucciolo, when we have a moment to ourselves,” Caesar reminded, which only caused a bigger pout to form on the younger boy’s face. His arms soon found their way upwards to envelop Joseph, with the latter reciprocating and slipping both of his around Caesar’s waist. 

“I’ll miss you,” Joseph hummed into the spot on Caesar’s shirt that his mouth happened to be resting on during their hug. The slightly shorter boy whispered the phrase back to him as he brought one of his hands towards Joseph’s hair, stroking his messy locks comfortingly. 

“... You know, on second thought, we don’t have to take him,” Okuyasu suggested after focusing on how seriously the pair ahead of him were taking their temporary split. He felt a bit bad watching them hold onto each other as if they were on the screen of some big blockbuster romance film. “I mean, look at them!” 

“No, it’s no big deal. They do this often, when they’re not fighting. They even did it that one game night, when Caesar was leaving to go to the bathroom,” Josuke reminded, and Okuyasu raised an eyebrow at this as the boy whose name they had just mentioned detached himself from his other half and headed towards the two Japanese students. 

“So, where are we head...” Caesar began, before he caught sight of a certain critter ambling across the grey cement path underneath their feet. It looked so calm, as if it wasn’t going to bring discomfort to any of the individuals standing around it. 

The bug was nearly microscopic; the red circle adorned with black dots on its body serving as a contrast to its otherwise dark figure. Although, he didn’t even need to pay attention to the details of the bug; all he knew was that it was much too close for comfort, and he was close to losing it entirely. “JoJo !” 

“What is it, Caesar?” Joseph demanded after hearing his name being called, hurrying to return to him immediately. He placed a hand on his back comfortingly.... then, he managed to catch sight of what it was that was actually troubling him. 

If he hadn’t taken careful note of how frazzled the Italian appeared, Joseph would’ve burst into laughter without another thought. Because he didn’t want to seem entirely heartless, however, he decided he’d tone it down and try to talk to him calmly. “Um... Caesar, that’s what you’re afraid of? It’s just a ladybug. They’re harmless, and...” 

“No, they most definitely are not!” Caesar insisted, moving himself away from Joseph and backing away as if he were about to make a run for it, all the way keeping his eyes focused firmly on the innocently roaming bug. “All insects are scary! They’re so small, a-and menacing, and-”

“Finally, somebody understands! That’s exactly how I feel about reptiles,” Josuke commented, relating the issue at hand back to himself. Joseph sent him a brief look of annoyance before returning to his spouse.

Joseph had remembered that Caesar was afraid of insects, but he was nearly certain that ladybugs didn’t fit the description. Regardless, he continued attempting to convince him everything would be fine. “Caesar, just relax, okay? They’re really chill, I promise,” he insisted. To prove his point, he began heading towards the red and black patterned bug ahead of them. 

“J-JoJo, what are you doing?” Caesar stuttered out, briefly pausing the panicked hair grab he had been previously doing. “I swear, if you even think about bringing the ladybug towards me, I’ll…” 

It turned out Joseph had already thought about it. And now, he was carrying it out, with a wide and coprophagous grin spread across his face. “JoJo, stop!” Caesar shouted, waiting to see if Joseph was actually going to proceed with walking towards him before pushing the Joestar’s hands away and taking off in the opposite direction. 

“Caesar! It’s just a bug!” Joseph hollered after him, careful to make sure he didn’t drop the poor thing as he rushed after him. He was also quite certain that the same group of people who had witnessed his yelling at the elephant exhibit were the same people who were watching him chase Caesar with a ladybug now.

“Man, those two are such a riot,” Josuke teased, watching the two run and rolling his eyes. “Imagine if we end up turning into them when we get older.” 

“I can chase you with a turtle, if you’d like,” Okuyasu offered, but Josuke quickly put an end to that idea. 

Roughly ten minutes after Caesar and Joseph parted ways, the group arrived at the aquarium. 

‘The aquarium in which Jotaro was apparently stationed, with his amazing and groundbreaking job that all of his family members couldn’t stop mentioning constantly and interrupting my date with Caesar for,’ Joseph thought to himself as he entered. 

He was a bit glad, however, that in a matter of thirty minutes or an hour, Caesar would be done talking with Josuke and Okuyasu, and the nightmarish zoo trip would be that much closer to finally coming to a closing. 

“Jotaro! We came as soon as we heard the news,” Polnareff cried out excitedly as the four entered the aquarium and caught sight of the boy easily. He clapped one of his hands against Jotaro’s shoulder, sending him a grin so bright it could work as a lamp in a dimly lit room. 

“Actually, it’s been a few days since we’ve heard the news, Polnareff… but, I understand what you were trying to say,” Kakyoin teased, before paying close attention to the attire that Jotaro was wearing. 

He had, of course, managed to make the zoo uniform look like something only he’d wear; a few of his hand pins organized tackily alongside the breast of his shirt and his two famous mismatched belts keeping his pants up around his waist. 

Every inch of the outfit was pure Jotaro-esque. Kakyoin was surprised the boy hadn’t attempted to attach a chain of some sort to the collar, but he didn’t want to give him any ideas. 

“Is something wrong?” Jotaro questioned, raising an eyebrow at Kakyoin, which caught him by surprise. 

He shook his head immediately, tearing his eyes away from the interesting display of fashion style ahead of him. “Of course not. So, anyway… how’s everything going around here?” 

“It’s going,” Jotaro sighed, before his eyes finally scanned Joseph’s figure and he acknowledged him. 

“Hey, where’s Caesar? I wanted to ask him something,” Jotaro questioned; Joseph’s interest piqued when he heard the greeting, but soon disappeared once he realized that Jotaro was instead asking about the Italian. 

Joseph stared at him with both of his eyebrows furrowed, initially a bit hurt that someone of his own flesh and blood would rather spend time with Caesar instead of him. Eventually he eased off; he couldn’t blame Jotaro for wanting to talk to Caesar… he was quite the individual. 

“Josuke and Okuyasu went and swept him up somewhere, so I’m alone,” Joseph grumbled, feeling a bit silly letting a seventeen-year-old in on his problems. At the same time, though, he’d basically take all the listeners he could get at this point. The fish ahead of him were even beginning to look like decent therapists. 

“Well, you’re welcome to come with us ,” Polnareff offered suddenly, striding over to where Jotaro and Joseph were speaking. 

“Come with you where? You’re leaving already?” Jotaro questioned, surprised the group was already making plans to leave, regardless of their arriving not more than ten minutes ago. 

“Yeah! All of that wandering around made Avdol and I hungry, so we’re going to go and grab some grub. Kakyoin’s coming too,” Polnareff explained, reaching for the map that had basically served as the group’s main source of frustration for the entire trip. “Are you in?” 

Another hour of Polnareff attempting to find his way around the zoo with a map he didn’t know how to read? Joseph would pass on that, definitely. Besides, he would much rather wait for Caesar to return. “No, you all go on without me.” 

“Suit yourself,” Polnareff shrugged. “But when we get back and you get hungry later on, I’m not going on another trip, capisce?” 

“Don’t explain any fish things without us, Jotaro!” He cried out over his shoulder as the now group of three exited the aquarium in search of food. 

It wasn’t until after the three left that Joseph’s mind hatched one of his infamous foolproof plans. (Well, they hadn’t all been completely foolproof… but he’d give himself the benefit of naming it that way.) 

If Caesar managed to get back and find Joseph before the other three returned, which was likely inevitable thanks to the person who had been put in charge of leading the group, they could use that opportunity to escape. They could go and do whatever it was that they had been planning to do before their day had been seized; Joseph wasn’t entirely too sure what it had been, but he didn’t really mind either... as long as Caesar was there. 

“Jotaro, these fish over here… they’re pretty!” Joseph stated suddenly, as he had managed to observe a motion out of the corner of his eye. He hurried over to get a better glance, watching the species’ majestic tail give rise to ripples in the crystal clear waters of the tank as it swam around elegantly. The sight itself brought pure tranquility to the boy. “What are they?” 

“Read about them yourself, there’s a sign right there,” Jotaro urged, waving the older boy off. “It’s not my job to tell you.” 

“Actually, it kind of i… never mind,” Joseph decided against trying him and instead focused on the words written on the plaque ahead of him about the fish he was looking at. 

A few minutes passed before he remembered the empty and dreary feeling now filling his hand that Caesar usually held. He gave it a small glance, chuckling a bit at how much he missed him. Moments like these put the silly arguments like the one they had had earlier to shame. 

How empty and cold his hand now felt to him. The thought of holding onto him returned in his head, Joseph growing hopeful that he’d return within the next couple of seconds. He let his eyes roam the tanks a bit longer, looking for a certain species to catch his eye. When suddenly one… no, two did. 

A pair. 

These fish were swimming in pairs. Joseph hated to sound so similar to a romantic sap looking for the right synonyms for a poem or something, but he couldn’t help but compare himself to them. They were swimming freely and had the comfort of somebody else beside them, while he didn’t. 

He was growing envious of fish. How was it that they were able to swim with their pair, but his had been pulled right from underneath his nose?

All sadness aside, Joseph took the time to think about the connection he had just formulated on his own and grinned just a bit. He’d have to make sure that he wrote it down and turned these lines into an actual poem, then he’d read it to Caesar later. 

A voice suddenly shocked Joseph, temporarily bringing him out of his creative mindset. “I know you asked me about the other species…” Jotaro started slowly, mumbling from his position behind Joseph. “...but the ones that you’re looking at now are angelfish. It’s common for them to swim in pairs, and they...”

Joseph opened his mouth to respond, but was suddenly interrupted by a familiar Italian’s voice filling his ears. “JoJo?” 

“Caesar!” Joseph cried out, immediately running into Caesar’s arms. Were they really having a romantic moment in the middle of an aquarium? Yes. Joseph even had to steel himself from kissing him, remembering they were still at the zoo and not in the privacy of their own home.

It wasn’t until he was met with the same affection from the Italian that he considered the comment Okuyasu had made earlier. Maybe he had been onto something with his entire  ‘just look at them’ comment. 

“It took me much longer to get here than I expected, amore mio,” Caesar sighed, his fingers slowly stroking the backside of Joseph’s head. “I can understand why Polnareff was having such a hard time with the map. And not to mention how talkative Josuke and his friend are.” 

“Oh, tell me about it,” Joseph mumbled under his breath, chuckling. “But, on the bright side... Polnareff and the others are busy, so we’ll be in the clear if we can manage to evade them on our way out.” 

“Let’s go then,” Caesar insisted, “And hello Jotaro!” The two had just turned around to leave when Joseph detected a little something on the seventeen-year-old’s face.

“Wait Jotaro, was that… a smile?” 

“Huh? Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just glad you’re leaving,” Jotaro insisted, itching to get back to his job and stop entertaining such a conversation. 

“Ooh yeah, and speaking of that… don’t tell the others about this, alright?” Joseph pleaded as Caesar laced their fingers together, and they began heading towards the front door, “If they ask, though... tell them that wherever we are, we definitely aren’t at home.” 

“Before we do go home, though, a surprise for you amore mio,” Caesar suddenly mentioned to Joseph as they made their way out of the aquarium and back onto the path they had been walking over for the majority of the day. “We will go and see the pandas, like you asked me earlier.”

“Finally!” 

And once they were there, they spent a few minutes watching them, finding solace in how adorable they looked roaming the grasses and trees freely. It would be one of the very few moments of Joseph and Caesar’s day where they had done nothing worth drawing strange glances from the surrounding people; instead, they were watching a few soft, black and white patterned animals play in the grass, and basking in the love they held for one another. 

“That one reminds me of you,” Caesar commented suddenly, pointing his finger at a certain one who laid underneath a tree.

“Why? Because it’s cute and fluffy?” Joseph questioned as he followed Caesar’s finger to the small animal, smirking. 

“Well, I was going to say because it’s clumsy and just fell on its head,” Caesar laughed, “but I suppose that works too.” 

The previous excitement that had been present in their car was definitely no longer there on the ride home. Although, this was also because Joseph fell asleep shortly after Caesar began driving. 

When he reached a red light, he’d turn his head and check on him. Joseph was leaning against the car door and snoring rather loudly, with his mouth slightly parted… Caesar decided that he didn’t mind the noise too much, though. He looked much too cute in the moment to focus on anything else. 

The ride back also seemed to take longer than the original trip had, but once they finally got home, they were ecstatic nonetheless. 

“That was exhausting,” Joseph groaned as soon as they closed the door, immediately wrapping his arms around Caesar’s torso and pulling the blonde against him. “But, at least we’ll have a while before anyone realizes that we’ve left!” 

“Indeed, we do,” Caesar replied, placing his hands on Joseph’s and leaning back against him. “So what should we do first, amore?” 

“I can think of a few things,” Joseph stated flirtatiously, before spinning Caesar around so that they were facing one another. He sent him a small smile as he caught Joseph’s drift, leaning closer to his husband. Their noses had just brushed one another’s, their lips soon to meet next, when all of a sudden… 

“Ciao!” A voice called out from the other side of their door. “Joseph? Are you and Caesar home?” It was the voice belonging to one of the other blonde Italian’s in Joseph’s life, this one being fifteen years old and having three large curls as the focus point of his hairstyle. 

Giorno.

Impossible.

"Um... no, we’re not!” Joseph cried out, wasting no time in sprinting towards the window, nearly dropping Caesar in the process. “Caesar, quick! Let’s make a run for it!”