Work Text:
Christmas Eve, 5 Years Ago
“No,” Jungkook giggles, and Namjoon can’t pinpoint it, how someone can laugh and you can tell they’re a good person, “I don’t want to tell you. You might look at me differently.”
“We’re practically strangers.” Namjoon’s smiling. For some reason, he can’t stop smiling. “What would it matter anyways?”
“I don’t know.” Jungkook shrugs, bringing his knees closer to him. “What if it does?”
There’s a blizzard outside. Namjoon can hear it, the occasional shake of the window. All flights in Quebec have been cancelled until further notice. He was supposed to be halfway to Korea by now and not trapped in a shotty hostel, sharing a one-bedroom with a complete stranger.
But as Jungkook rests his chin on his knees and glances at him through his eyelashes, Namjoon can’t find it in himself to be all that upset.
“I’d still think you’re cute.” He says, nudging Jungkook’s foot with his.
Jungkook makes a strangled noise.
“Gross, you flirt like a dad.”
Namjoon laughs, “Just tell me. I already told you my dream is to have my own greenhouse. Nothing is lamer than that.”
“Owning a greenhouse is cool! And my dream isn’t lame, it’s just...promise you won’t judge me?”
With those puppy eyes? Namjoon could never.
Jungkook pouts, a small retaliation from needing to answer the question, but rules are rules and 20 Questions is a sacred flirting tradition. Especially if Jungkook was the one that suggested it in the first place.
Finally, with a steadying breath, he admits, “I want to be a tattoo artist.”
Namjoon doesn’t know what kind of reaction Jungkook’s expecting, because wanting to become a tattoo artist is cool and it by no means changes his opinion on the man whatsoever. Jungkook immediately closes his eyes, bracing himself for the impact, and Namjoon can’t help his endeared laugh.
Their eyes meet and Jungkook whines, "I heard that! You laughed at me!"
“What? No, not even a little!”
“You think I’m a lowlife! That I wear silver cross earrings and vape!”
Namjoon laughs, “Jungkook, what? Is that what you think a lowlife is?”
“I heard it with my own ears! Your preconceived notions.”
“I didn’t even get to say anything!”
“And to think I gave you the top bunk in this hostel room, a poor traveler stranded because of the blizzard.”
“You are also a poor traveler stranded because of the blizzard. All flights got cancelled.”
It’s a moot point, because Jungkook continues, “I won’t allow myself to be bullied -”
“I am not bullying you!”
“Belittled -” Jungkook laughs through the word. He’s teasing him.
“When have I ever!”
“Or antagonized by a complete stranger, just because -”
Namjoon closes the distance between them, holding Jungkook by the wrists. He doesn’t hear Jungkook’s gasps as much as he sees it: the sharp rise of his chest, how his eyes widen just so, a teasing smile dropping into slightly parted lips. The room is quiet except the gentle rumble of the heater.
“Jungkook-ssi.” Namjoon’s voice goes low - his natural tone, the one void of diplomacy and cordiality. “Listen to me well.”
It’s important, for some reason. Before Namjoon misses his chance, before they shift the conversation into the next question, it’s important that Jungkook knows.
He sees Jungkook swallow, how his Adam’s Apple bops.
“I am not, and I will never, judge you for wanting to become a tattoo artist. I’d let you tattoo whatever you want on my body, because that’s how stupid rad I think you are. Understand?”
Jungkook hiccups. “I understand.”
“Good.” Namjoon nods, sitting back on his haunches and letting go of his wrists.
Jungkook stares at him, frozen. There’s a brief moment Namjoon thinks he may have crossed a line. Did he just make things weird? He’s been known to talk too much, twist conversations to an uncomfortable seriousness. He moves to speak, until:
“You’d let me tattoo whatever I want on your body?”
Namjoon lets out a surprised laugh. Jungkook grins.
“Whatever you want.” Namjoon puts up three fingers. “Scout’s Honor.”
Jungkook hums thoughtfully. He rests his chin on his knees again. Namjoon can see he’s curling his toes through his socks. Cute.
“I’ll have to charge you though.” Jungkook says.
“Well, of course. I wouldn’t let you do it for free.”
“And you can tell me, if the payment is too much.”
“Name your price. I’d be more than happy to -”
“A date.” Jungkook blurts. “I want to go on a date when we get back to Korea. That’s my payment.”
Namjoon takes in how the low light casts a warm glow over his features, so handsome, so sweet. The shine to his irises, the mole right under his bottom lip, the prominent shadow of a scar on his cheek - what exactly is he doing, memorizing bits and pieces of someone he just met?
“Okay,” is his breathy response. Was it the heater? Is that why Namjoon’s insides felt so warm?
“Okay,” Jungkook repeats. He looks like he’s trying to stop himself from smiling too big. How much more can Namjoon take? He’s going to get arrhythmia at this rate.
Jungkook’s eyes twinkle. He moves forward, whispering, “We should do something to seal the deal. You know, just to make it official.”
“What do you suggest we do?” He hopes his voice didn’t come out as a squeak. It might’ve. “Shake on it?”
“Mm,” Jungkook hums, leaning forward, “I think I have a better idea.”
Namjoon’s hand comes to greet him, gently running up his neck. He cups his face, thumb swiping across his cheekbone. Jungkook shivers slightly from the touch, eyes fluttering, before coming into focus again. Something in Namjoon coils tight.
Jungkook is so pretty.
“This okay?” Namjoon whispers. Jungkook nods.
As far as kisses go, the one they share is sweet: lips touching, a soft press in, a hand on a cheek, a shy grip on an elbow; and yet, when Namjoon pulls away, he feels weightless, the moment before an impending drop. Jungkook goes in for another one. And another one and there Namjoon goes - down, down, down.
On the third kiss, their teeth knock together and Namjoon breaks away to laugh. Jungkook somehow finds his way on his lap. Namjoon can’t stop grinning into their kisses.
“Jungkook,” His voice gets muffled when Jungkook kisses him again, “My legs hurt.”
“Huh?” Jungkook looks dazed. He looks down, where he’s sitting on Namjoon’s crossed legs. “Oh, sorry.” He lifts himself off a little so Namjoon could stretch them out. Jungkook settles back down. Their crotches press against each other from this new angle. Jungkook buries his face in his neck.
“Is this better for you?” Jungkook sounds petulant. “Because this is so, so much worse for me.”
“Is it?” Namjoon readjusts, grinding against him - just a little.
“Yes.”
Namjoon laughs at his hiccup. Jungkook faces him with a glare.
“No more talking.” Jungkook concludes. “It’s make-out time now. Jesus would’ve wanted this on his birthday.”
When Namjoon puts his hands on Jungkook’s waist (so tiny) and their kisses start to deepen, with Jungkook swiping a tongue across his bottom lip, he couldn’t agree more.
October 30, 5 Years Later
“It’s Halloween tomorrow. What are we going to do?”
“I’m not sure. Some parents weren’t, ah,” Namjoon tries to word this delicately, “appreciative of the approach some teachers took with Halloween last year.”
At this, the faculty all turn to the two teachers sitting innocently in the back of the meeting room, who have the audacity to look shocked.
“What?” Taehyung counters. “We just wanted to have some fun!”
“For the kids!” Jimin tacks on in agreement.
Namjoon hears Yoongi, their Head Teacher, scoff beside him.
“Dressing up as a bloodied ghost to jump scare your 5 year old students is not ‘having some fun.’” Yoongi nags. “Do you know how many parents we had to deal with after that? Three of your kids left the school!”
“If I may - ” Taehyung begins.
“You may absolutely not.” Yoongi scowls.
“ - I wasn’t bloodied. I was dressed up as the ghost of someone who died during a hot dog eating contest. It was ketchup. Totally age appropriate! We did a math cooking activity with sausages and it was great.”
“You reenacted choking to death on a hot dog. Kids cried.”
Taehyung shrugs. “I’m a good actor.”
“And you,” Yoongi refers to Jimin, “Why would you tell your kids horror stories during circle time? They’re supposed to be going over weather and calendar dates. They’re 4!”
“It was a children’s book!” Jimin counters.
“The girl’s head rolled off her neck at the end! Illustrated! ”
“Okay Yoongi-ssi,” Namjoon settles him by patting his arm. He’s getting that vein on his neck that he usually gets when he talks to Taehyung and Jimin. “It was a learning experience, right? This year, let’s just have the kids dress up and go trick-or-treating classroom to classroom. We can give out gummy vitamins or something. We’ll send out an announcement to the parents next week. Does that sound good to everyone?”
The teachers nod their heads. “Well, if there aren’t any objections...” Namjoon sees Taehyung’s hand shoot up, but Jimin stops him with a shake to his head.
“Don’t,” Jimin mouths.
“...then I think that’s all for this meeting. Thanks for joining everyone. Let me know if you need any help.”
There’s a chorus of various “thank you’s” as teachers filter out of the meeting room. Namjoon closes his notebook with a sigh. He was up late last night preparing for next year’s lesson plans. Yoongi wasn’t any better.
“I should’ve worked in Finance like my father said.” Yoongi groaned. His neck popped as he stretched. “But no, I had to care about children.”
“What were we thinking?” Namjoon moans. “Starting an academy together.”
Namjoon recalls a drunken Yoongi from 3 years ago, blacked out drunk and crying about how they needed to save the kids from the clutches of the education system.
“A school about music and art and culture, Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi had clutched at him, teary-eyed, “We can’t keep killing our youth like this.”
“I promise, hyung,” was his own drunken response.
And now here Namjoon is: director of his own academy for children and sleep-deprived since the first day they opened. A complete 180 degree turn from his corporate lifestyle.
Like always, the ghost of a memory floats through him. Did he make it? Is he out there, living out what he was so nervous to admit?
“You’re brooding again.” Yoongi says. “I hate it when you brood. What do you have to be stressed about? You’re tall.”
“Tall people have feelings too.”
“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.” Yoongi looks at the time. “The kids are going to come in soon. C’mon, we have to greet them. Unclench your jaw. You look scary.”
“If there’s someone who looks scary at this school, it’s you.” Namjoon follows him to the school entrance.
Their academy is modest, only taking up a floor of a small building, but Namjoon couldn’t be prouder. From a humble starting class of 36 kids, they now boast a 150 student roster, which fills up within seconds the moment enrollment starts.
The first wave of students come in. It’s fascinating, watching Yoongi’s face completely devoid of emotion, light up as kids throw themselves into his open arms. His gums show as he cooes, “Good morning friends!”
In comparison, Namjoon greets the parents and smiles wide when he sees one of his favorite students come up the steps. Her hair is tied in a typical sprout on her head, like a cute Pink Lady apple.
“Good morning, Harin!” Namjoon greets.
Instead of her usual bright, “Good morning!,” which often is eclipsed by her father’s even more chipper, “Morning Director! Looking handsome today as well, aren’t you?,” the five year old looks up at him with teary eyes. She’s alone today, no father in sight.
“Harin, what’s wrong? Where’s your appa?”
Harin sniffles, “Yesterday, appa went to Gwangju.”
“Ah, appa went to Gwangju, so that’s why he’s not here with you today?”
Harin nods as tears fall. Namjoon hugs her, “Awh, Harin-ah, don’t worry. Your appa will be right back. You still have your other appa at home, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Harin cries into his shoulder.
“Then you have nothing to worry about. You don’t want your appas to know that you’re sad, right? C’mon, let’s get inside - wait, where’s your backpack?”
“Harin-ie!” Frantic footsteps sound from the stairs. “You forgot your backpack!”
Namjoon looks up and the past five years of his life rewinds.
Opening the academy, the drunken night with Yoongi, his miserable years in corporate, the day he landed in Seoul after a blizzard in Quebec had compromised every single flight, only to find that he had lost his phone - the phone that had the one number he needed most - and finally, to the night he had fallen in love in less than five hours, with no end in sight.
“Jungkook?” Namjoon’s almost too scared to say the name aloud.
Jungkook’s hair is longer now, curtaining his face in soft curls. He lost his baby fat since the last time they saw each other, but he’s still just as handsome - just as pretty - as Namjoon remembered.
Then, he notices: his hand. It has tattoos.
He loses himself a little. “Your hand -”
“Harin-ah,” Jungkook interrupts. He tears away from Namjoon’s gaze. “How could you forget your backpack in the car? Try not to forget it tomorrow, okay?” He puts it on for her as he speaks. Harin nods, sniffling still, and Jungkook wipes her tears and nose.
“Your appa is going to be back soon. Don’t cry.”
And a black pit opens in Namjoon’s chest, sucking his breath away.
Jungkook is Harin’s other dad.
She nods obediently. Jungkook hugs her tight. “Be good at school. I’ll come pick you up.”
Jungkook turns to him, eyes downcast. His face is tight when he bows stiffly, much too polite. Namjoon doesn’t bow back. His thoughts, which usually are too fast and too much, turn numbingly blank as Jungkook goes down the steps and eventually disappears out of sight.
He’s reminded of the same image at Jean Lesage airport, where Jungkook had turned around halfway and yelled, “Remember! Scout’s Honor!”
“Scout’s Honor!” Namjoon had called back, waving with his phone - the last conscious memory he has of the device.
“Are you alright?” Yoongi comes up beside him. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
When he realizes what he just said, he gasps.
“Ah, no, no! Just kidding! I didn’t see a ghost! Ghosts don’t exist! Taebeom, don’t cry - we won’t have any ghosts this year, I promise!”
Kim Namjoon had committed two unforgivable sins in his life.
The first was when he was 17 and decided to get dreads.
The second, when he lost the phone number of Jeon Jungkook.
“I mean, at least you learned something from your culturally inappropriate hairstyle choices.” Yoongi says. “But losing a hot dude’s number? A hot dude who liked you back?”
They’re at the school entrance again, waiting for session to end.
Namjoon groaned, “And now he has a kid. With another person.”
Yoongi clicks his tongue. “Maybe it’s karma for cultural appropriation.”
He’s too busy wallowing to admit Yoongi might be right.
“Well, there’s no harm in going out to clear the air, right?” Namjoon tries, a full-fledged loser. “And maybe we’ll realize everything changed so much, we’re not the people we wanted to fall in love with anyways.”
Yoongi gives him a pitiful look. Namjoon closes his eyes, deeply grieving.
“Let’s just open the doors.”
Namjoon plasters his best director smile and exchanges pleasantries with awaiting parents. He tells them how their kids are going. Keeps glancing towards the stairs every three seconds to make sure he doesn’t miss a certain attractive father. Ignores Yoongi’s glances his way, filled with equal parts sympathy and exasperation.
Then, he sees him. Jungkook’s curls bounce as he turns the stairs.
Their eyes meet and Jungkook stops, just five steps below him.
It’s hard to remember they’re strangers when Namjoon’s spent the past five years missing him.
“Hey,” Namjoon greets, forgetting himself.
“Hi,” Jungkook parrots back. He looks away. “I’m here for Harin.”
“She should be on her way.”
Jungkook nods, uncomfortable.
“She’s a great kid.” He hears himself say, because that’s just what he does, fill the silence with nothing but words, “Really smart and funny.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook agrees. He still can’t look at him. Namjoon wonders where she gets her humor from: Jungkook or his partner?
It’s quiet again.
Namjoon doesn’t remember tension like this. Sure, Jungkook had been shy, but all it took was some coffee and a heater to get their conversation going on for hours. He sees the way Jungkook shuffles his feet and is reminded again that they are complete strangers.
“Hey, I know it’s been a while and a lot has changed,” Namjoon forces past the nervousness, “But do you wanna go to a cafe sometime? Just to talk about what happened. Nothing more than that - I promise.”
Jungkook regards him for a long time. Then, his face slowly trickles into something cold and disdained.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He states.
Namjoon shocks from the tone. “R-Right. Yeah, I understand...but um, I just really need you to know that I -”
The bell chimes, stopping his words. Kids fill the hallway and it’s not long before Harin comes running. His face brightens up at the sight of her, eyes shining, and Namjoon can barely hear anything except the loud badump badump in his ears.
When their eyes meet, the smile falls off of Jungkook’s face.
“Have a nice day, Director.”
Namjoon watches them go down the steps, seeing how Jungkook’s tattooed hand pairs with Harin’s, and feels like the last five years have been a waste.
November
After a week of being brutally cold-shouldered by Jungkook, Harin’s other dad comes back.
Hoseok’s heart-shaped smile isn’t as endearing as Namjoon typically finds it.
“It’s been a while, director! Did you become even more handsome since the last time we saw each other?” He laughs.
Namjoon’s smile feels tight around the edges. He used to like Hoseok a lot. Used to.
“Good morning.” He greets. He looks at Harin, attached to her dad with an iron grip. “Morning, Harin.”
“Good morning!” She nearly shouts from how happy she is. “Appa, you’ll come pick me up today?”
“Yup, I’ll be here.” Hoseok kisses the top of her head. “See you later, sunshine!”
Harin giggles, “Bye bye appa!” and heads to her classroom.
Hoseok lingers, waving to her as she walks away. Namjoon takes in the adored look in his eyes, how every nonexistent pore on his skin oozes out kindness. He frowns. Maybe he’d exude happiness too if he was the one together with Jeon Jungkook.
“I met your partner while you were gone.” He finds himself blurting, more bitter than he expected.
“Oh, you did?” Hoseok tilts his head, eyebrows scrunching. “Huh, I thought we had agreed...well, I guess he took time off of work?”
Namjoon mirrors his confusion. Was Jungkook accompanying Harin to school supposed to be a secret? “It would seem so? He came to pick her up while you were gone.”
“Hm...he didn’t mention anything about it,” Hoseok pouts, “I guess I’ll ask him about it. He wants to be more involved in her school life, but work always gets in the way.”
“I see.” Namjoon treads carefully through his next words, trying hard to seem blase. “So what exactly does he do?”
“He’s a producer for BTS International.” Hoseok boasts and Namjoon watches in disdain, how his eyes light up the same way it did for Harin.
Namjoon’s heart falls at not hearing “tattoo artist.” So even that last remaining memory of Jungkook has changed.
“You’ll see him at the school Christmas festival. We made sure he got work off for it.” Hoseok reassures and starts to head down the stairs. “Anyway, have a nice day! I’ll stop by with some snacks for all the teachers later!”
“O-Okay, bye.” Namjoon’s wave feels wooden.
That was...strange.
Namjoon went back to his office in a blur, unable to shake the uneasiness in his chest. It seemed like Hoseok didn’t know anything about them, which was understandable enough. Why would Jungkook mention that the director of their daughter’s academy was run by the same man he made out with (and then some) five years ago in Quebec?
Still, something seemed off.
Namjoon taps his fingers over his phone as seconds tick by. He bites his bottom lip.
Don’t do it, Namjoon-ah. He unlocks the device, opening Instagram. Kim Namjoon-ssi, you are better off not knowing. He types Hoseok’s full name into the search bar.
Lo and behold, Hoseok is the first result that shows up and lo and behold, Namjoon has no semblance of self-control.
Besides for food and obscure shots of Harin, there’s no sign of Jungkook anywhere. It’s probably for the better, because Namjoon’s not sure how he’ll handle seeing a collage of Jungkook’s happy relationship (without him).
He stops on a photo of Hoseok holding out a finger heart, a blurred figure of someone in the background. happy birthday to the one and only, the caption read.
Posted on September 1st.
Namjoon shoots out of his chair. It couldn’t be. He searched up and down the internet trying to find Jungkook and here he is, just like that? He clicks on the profile, holding his breath.
It’s a mostly black and white profile, filled with tattoo designs and landscape shots. Didn’t Hoseok say he was a producer at BTS International? It seems Jungkook created the account recently - the oldest photo dated back to last year.
There’s a photo of Jungkook posing with a cake, posted on his birthday. Harin, Hoseok, and another man, are huddled around him. His chest pangs at the sight of Hoseok’s arm over his shoulder. They make a good-looking couple.
He sighs. Just what is he doing, social media stalking one of his students’ parents? Ex-flame (potential flame?) or not, this entire thing is juvenile. Jungkook obviously moved on, as any functioning adult would’ve, and Namjoon should know better than pine after “love-at-first-sights.” He’s a grown man!
Namjoon exits out of the profile, making a promise to himself to let go, when he sees it:
The red heart he just accidentally pressed.
Oh no, oh please, oh my god -
“Ah! Ahh!” Namjoon screams, dropping the phone like it burned him.
What did he just do?! What did he just do?! Oh god, he has to delete his account! Throw away his phone! Change his identity, move to another country - he had always liked the name Nathaniel! What would a grown man do?! He wouldn't know!
His phone chimes.
1 Message Request
...
...Namjoon is going to pass out.
He should ignore it. That’s what he should do. He made a promise he was going to let go, so that’s what’s going to happen - he’s going to pretend this never happened and move on with his life -
He clicks on the message.
jk_1997
are you serious right now???????????
lunchpanda
i’m so sorry
i didn’t mean to be social media stalking you
this is by no means reflective of my work and professionalism i uphold in my academy
this will not affect harin’s school life whatsoever
jk_1997
what??????
namjoon you don’t talk to me for five years and now you’re liking my posts on my instagram that i never told you about
what the fuck
lunchpanda
i know, i know
can we just please get some coffee or something?
so i can explain everything
jk_1997
i
...fine. fine.
meet me at the cafe down the street from the academy
15 minutes, then im leaving
lunchpanda
okay
Read 9:52 AM
Jungkook, as expected, is not friendly.
They’re waiting in the cafe line and besides for a clipped greeting, they haven’t spoken since. The cafe is a quaint place, with a good taste for art, given the portraits decorating the walls. Namjoon opens his mouth to comment on it, glances at Jungkook’s hardened expression, and snaps his mouth shut.
Perhaps another time to talk about the cafe’s local artwork.
When they get to the cashier, Namjoon speaks for the first time, “I can treat by the way.”
Jungkook looks leery. “You sure?”
“Of course.”
Jungkook turns back to the cashier. “Can I get a hot vanilla latte with extra cream, a tiramisu for here, and a milk tart to go? Make that three slices. Thank you.”
...Alright then.
“I’ll just take an Americano. Thank you.”
Back to suffocating silence they go.
Jungkook focuses on the window when they sit, immediately crossing his arms and making it a point to not look directly at him. Tattoos peek out from under his sweater. He has an undercut Namjoon hadn’t noticed until now. His earrings dangle as he turns to the window - a silver cross on each side.
A lot of things really have changed.
“You’re staring at me.” Jungkook says, face still turned.
In another scenario, another circumstance, Namjoon would have responded, “Because you’re pretty to look at.”
Instead, he murmurs, “Sorry.”
Jungkook sighs. “Whatever this is, let’s just make this quick. I have work to do.”
Namjoon piques at that. “Hoseok told me about your work. I was a little shocked, honestly.”
Jungkook snaps his gaze towards him. “You spoke to Hoseok?” His tone is accusatory.
“Only when he’s dropping Harin off.” Namjoon remedies.
Jungkook is only mildly pacified. “And why was my work shocking to you?”
“Uh, I mean...I just thought you’d go in a different route.”
Through his crossed arms, Jungkook gathers his hands into tight fists. Namjoon gulps, suddenly feeling sweat collect on his nape. Did he...say something wrong?
A barista calling out their order saves Namjoon from further evaluation. Jungkook leaves the table and Namjoon releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. No one told him closure was going to feel like getting your entrails brutally pulled out of you.
Jungkook comes back, slamming the tray a bit harder than usual. Their drinks spill a little. Namjoon does not complain.
Jungkook takes a sip of his latte, pink tongue coming out to lick foam off his upper lip. He had done the same with the coffee Namjoon made for them in the hostel kitchen, where he ugly-face grimaced from the bitterness. They both shared a laugh about it, warm and comfortable in a way strangers shouldn’t have been.
“15 minutes.” Jungkook sends him a look. “Tick-tock.”
If only those two lovestruck idiots could look at them now.
Namjoon fidgets in his seat, confused and disoriented from trying to remedy the Jungkook in his memories and the Jungkook before him. Yes, there’s probably a lot to unpack between them, but this hostility? A little uncalled for.
Jungkook taps on his mug with an irritated tick. “Well?”
Whatever cordiality Namjoon tries to uphold suddenly snaps apart.
“Why are you acting like this?” He scowls.
Jungkook bristles. “Are you - did you just snap at me?”
“Oh, compared to ‘15 minutes, tick-tock’?” Namjoon mocks.
“Well, haven’t you wasted enough of my time five years ago?” Jungkook hisses.
Namjoon finds himself huffing, even though he knows Jungkook is right, “That’s why I’m trying to explain to you that I -” He pauses when Jungkook stabs his tiramisu with a fork, angrily stuffing a chunk in his mouth.
“...I thought you didn’t like coffee.”
With the glare Jungkook sends him, Namjoon wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been stabbed with a fork.
“Namjoon, you never called or texted me.” Jungkook growls. “And now you’re asking me to go to cafes and stalking me on Instagram.”
“You’re right, I never contacted you and I should’ve been more tactful about this, but -”
“You promised me that you would.”
“I know I did, but if you could just let me -”
“I waited for so long.”
“I’m sorry - wait, you did?”
“Ugh, I was so stupid!” Jungkook slams the fork down. “I let myself believe I found my soulmate, the love of my life -”
“ - woah, y-you thought that?”
“ - only to find out you were just another no-good, rotten -”
“Jungkook, hold on -”
“ - shitty lowlife -”
“Jungkook, hear me out -”
“ - who used me and tossed me away like some one night stand -”
“ - Jungkook -”
“ - and to think I thought you might’ve felt the same way about me too. God! I was such an idiot -”
Namjoon reaches over to grab Jungkook by the wrists just to get the man to stop talking. There’s a sharp rise in Jungkook’s chest, the widening of his eyes, and then:
“Jungkook-ssi.” He growls, more frustrated at himself than anything else, “Can you just listen?” He takes his silence as a means to continue.
“I would never, ever use you. I didn’t contact you because I lost my phone when I landed in Korea. I spent months trying to search for you. Looked up every Jeon Jungkook on the internet. Walked into random tattoo parlors to see if you might be there. Do you know when was the last time I did that?”
Jungkook shakes his head.
“In September. Two months ago.”
Jungkook swallows hard.
“So no,” Namjoon lets go, leaning back into his seat, “I didn’t think you were a one night stand and I’m truly sorry you had to feel that way, because of my dumb mistake. I have never forgiven myself for it, and given the circumstances now, I’m not sure I ever will. There - that’s all I wanted to say.”
Jungkook does not respond for a long time.
“You lost your phone?” Jungkook repeats softly, as if talking to himself. “That’s why you never called me?”
Namjoon nods, sighing. “I lose everything all the time. I’m on my 43rd pair of AirPods.”
“And even after five years, you searched for me?”
He nods again, flustering from the confession, and Jungkook whispers, “Why?”
When they meet each other’s gaze, Namjoon realizes that despite their distance and the lost years between them, Namjoon can’t help but feel like Jungkook is what he’s been waiting for all along.
“Scout’s Honor.” He replies - two measly words.
Something settles in Jungkook, turning his eyes bright and liquidy.
Namjoon checks his watch. 15 minutes, on the dot.
“Well, I won’t waste any more of your time.” He says, getting up.
“Wait,” Jungkook grabs onto his wrist.
Namjoon waits, lips tightening from where they’re touching.
“Do you remember the promise we made five years ago?”
“...I do.”
Jungkook’s eyes crinkle, nose scrunched up and cheeks bundled, as he smiles.
“I think I have an idea.”
December
“So about my idea,” Jungkook leans his body forward across the table, eyes bright and smiling, “I think we should schedule something this month. I’ll take a week off from work, so it’d be the perfect time to do it.”
“Wow, you can do that?” Wouldn’t Christmas be the busiest time of year for broadcasting stations? But Jungkook doesn’t talk much about work, so Namjoon doesn’t pry.
Jungkook nods, stray hairs falling to his face. Namjoon resists the urge to tuck them away.
“Your academy does too, doesn’t it? It’ll give you enough time to heal.”
“Yes, but…” Namjoon trails off, not knowing how to say the rest of his words.
He doesn’t know how it happened, or if it should be happening, but they’ve taken on a schedule of meeting each other for coffee during lunch break. It’s friendly, despite what Yoongi says, completely friendly!
It’s totally normal for friends to:
- Text each other about daily happenings in one’s life, sometimes going on into the late night, which Namjoon rationalizes could only stem from Jungkook’s erratic work schedule, and not because they’re both in bed, texting each other.
- Send strategically casual, yet photoesque selfies, because significant others aren’t the only people in your life who can make you feel beautiful and Jimin sends selfies in the group work chat all the time.
- Meet each other for coffee where it feels like they’re back at the Quebec hostel again, talking as if they’ll never have enough time in the world to unravel each other’s everythings.
So yeah. Friendly.
Jungkook uses Namjoon’s fork to take a bite of the cake he ordered. “It’ll be fine! Tattoos just get a little itchy and sore, that’s all. It’ll be on your wrist - you cover it up with a watch anyways, right?”
“I do...” Namjoon watches in conflicting horror as Jungkook’s lips wrap around the same fork that was just in his mouth moments ago.
“Let’s do it after the academy’s Christmas festival! Hobi-hyung told me about it.” Jungkook presses the prongs against his bottom lip. The metal sinks in. Jungkook just mentioned his partner and Namjoon thinks about how plump his bottom lip is. He’s going to hell.
“Sure,” His throat feels dry, “but, ah...do you think it’s a good idea? I mean, I don’t know much about you and Hoseok, but I just want to make sure I’m not overstepping any boundaries.”
“Hm?” Jungkook’s brows furrow. “No, you’re not overstepping anything. Hobi-hyung is just Hobi-hyung.”
“Okay.” Whatever the heck that means. “As long we’re all good.”
At this, Jungkook grins toothy. “More than good.”
If Namjoon could, he would squeal at the sight.
“Oh, I should head back now.” Jungkook checks the time, pouting. “My next appointment is with a celeb, so I probably shouldn’t be late.”
“Well,” Namjoon gets up, “I guess that’s the life of being a BTS PD.”
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“Hm? Oh, nothing. I was just lamenting over the perils of corporate exploitation.”
Jungkook laughs, a lovely sound. “You sound exactly like a friend of mine.”
They’re outside of the cafe, about to part ways. Jungkook walks backwards as he waves, smiling wide as he says, “I’ll see you again tomorrow?”
He can’t help the lift he feels from those words, how the winter cold is nothing against how warm Jungkook’s gaze makes him feel.
Namjoon smiles, “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
Jungkook shots him one last grin, before turning around and disappearing around the corner.
Namjoon is halfway to the academy, when his phone chimes.
JUNGKOOK’S NUMBER DO NOT DELETE
hello i know we just saw each other but
look at this leaf i found on my walk
JUNGKOOK’S NUMBER DO NOT DELETE sent a photo .
it looks like it has a heart in the middle :)
Namjoon bites his bottom lip to stop from cheesing. He clicks on the photo to see a maple leaf crumbled away in the middle, making the rough shape of a heart.
This is still friendly, right?
Namjoon reacts to the image with a heart and types, “your nose looks like a heart too”
JUNGKOOK’S NUMBER DO NOT DELETE
gross
you still talk like a dad
He laughs aloud. Just what exactly is he doing?
Well, Namjoon guesses it doesn’t matter. He puts his phone back in his pocket, a bit of a skip in his step as he walks.
If Jungkook says they weren’t overstepping boundaries, then they weren’t overstepping boundaries.
“Namjoon?”
“Yes Yoongi?”
“Why is your phone blowing up with messages from ‘Jungkook’s Number Do Not Delete’?”
Namjoon’s hand slips on the tinsel he’s stapling along the hallway.
“I-I’m not homewrecking!” He stutters, almost slipping on the ladder as he steps down to grab his phone off the table.
“I didn’t say you were homewrecking.” Yoongi grumbles, eyebrow raised as Namjoon stuffs the phone in his pocket and continues decorating for the Christmas festival. “And your phone text is set the size of an old person’s.”
“I have bad eyesight.”
“Not the point.”
They stare at each other in a stand-off.
“It’s friendly.” Namjoon settles on, not looking at him. “Couples are allowed to have friends outside of their partners.”
“True,” Yoongi holds down the ladder as Namjoon keeps decorating, “I’m not saying you and Jungkook can’t be friends. I just want to make sure you know you two are just friends.”
“Of course I know that.” Namjoon grunts. “I’m not going to homewreck Jungkook and Hoseok. They have a child together.”
“So you would homewreck if they didn’t have a child together?”
“Yoongi.”
“I have the utmost faith you are an upstanding individual with good moral values and a kind heart,” Yoongi says plainly, “but your dick is sometimes bigger than your brain and that concerns me.”
Namjoon frowns. “You don’t know the size of my dick.”
“It’s a metaphor, Namjoon.”
“I’m not thinking with my dick.” Namjoon levels Yoongi with a stern look when he gets down. “We get coffee. We chat. We sometimes text. That’s it.”
He walks away from Yoongi’s frighteningly judgmental and knowing stare, saying, “I’m going to check if the face painter is here. Can you make sure the teachers are ready?”
“I’m just saying you might get hurt!” Yoongi calls after him.
“I won’t!” Namjoon shouts back. He opens the entrance doors. “Both you and Jungkook don’t know the size of my dick and I intend to keep it that way!”
“Um.”
Namjoon turns towards the voice and his heart nearly stops.
Jungkook stands there, wide-eyed, and arms holding a cardboard box of what looks like paint supplies and other Christmas memorabilia. He has on reindeer antlers and painted his nose red, making him look even more Bambi-like than usual.
“Hi...Jungkook…” Namjoon greets, mortified. “What are you…”
“I’m…” Jungkook blinks hard, as if he forgot why he’s even there, “t-the face painter. For the Christmas festival? Hobi-hyung told me you guys needed one, so…”
“Right.”
“Yeah.”
...
“Can I come in?” Jungkook asks after a long stretch of gut wrenching silence.
“Of course.” Namjoon moves so Jungkook could slip past him. If ostriches refuse to acknowledge the threat (Namjoon mentioning his dick and Jungkook in the same breath), then there is no threat (Namjoon mentioning his dick and Jungkook in the same breath and Jungkook heard him), and Namjoon could get behind that line of thinking.
The quiet between them is unbearable.
“So where can I put this -” “How are Hoseok and Harin -”
They pause.
“They’re fine? You ask about them a lot -” “Oh, you can set-up in that classroom over there -”
They stop again. Namjoon winces. This is a disaster. Whatever “friendly” relationship they were building is crashing and burning right in front of him, Santa ran over grandma with his reindeer-style.
To make matters worse, Jungkook keeps his eyes locked on the ground, chunky shoes curled inwards, and Namjoon can practically taste the discomfort.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Namjoon dismisses himself and Jungkook nods stiffly.
He does not talk to Jungkook for the rest of the Christmas festival.
Namjoon greets the kids, complete with his Santa costume and fake bread (which never fails to make him break out, but sacrifices will be made for the children). What began as a cost-cutting way to get Santa for their Christmas festival turned into tradition for Namjoon to be their jolly ol’ man for the years thereafter.
Typically, he would be fine with the job, because seeing the kid’s faces made synthetic hair bearable, but he was encountering some difficulties staying in character.
He can’t help but notice the glances he’d share with Jungkook, how their eyes would constantly meet from across the room. When he lifted a kid into a hug, when he’d bust out a loud “HO HO HO!” to a crowd of giggling kids, he’d always catch Jungkook staring.
And the moment their eyes meet, Jungkook would look away and focus on face painting again.
This made Namjoon inconsolably anxious. How must he look, hugging and laughing with children, when he just been caught talking about his dick in the work environment. He could already see the headlines: “Academy Director Fired and Shamed For Inappropriate Flirting, Teachers Say, “You Could Read the Incriminating Text Messages From Space with That Font Size.”
“Oh, is that Harin-ie I see?” Namjoon brings the girl into a hug. “Hello, I’m Santa Claus!”
“Silly,” Harin giggles, “You’re not Santa. You’re still teacher.”
“Wow Rin, nothing gets past you.” Hoseok laughs, greeting Namjoon with a grin brighter than Rudolph’s very shiny nose, “Merry Christmas, Director! Even handsome as Santa Claus it seems. Oh, I mentioned Harin’s other dad would be here, but he’s -”
“ - he’s already here.” Namjoon says. “Thank you for helping us find a face painter by the way. We felt bad asking the parents for help, but our usual guy cancelled last minute.”
“No...problem…” Hoseok sucks his teeth with another confused tilt. He’s been doing that a lot during their conversations together. “That’s weird. He just texted me that -”
“ - Harin-ah!” Jungkook shouts, waving. Harin squeals and shimmies out of Namjoon’s hug (ouch, but understandable) to run towards him. Hoseok shakes his head, following after her with a curt, “Rin-ah, that wasn’t nice to Santa.”
Namjoon watches the three of them together, how Harin laughs when she points at Jungkook’s nose, and Jungkook’s nose scrunch when he greets, “Hi Hobi-hyung.”
It’s a wake-up call he didn’t know he needed.
Yoongi was right. He’s just going to end up hurting himself.
The Christmas festival goes by quickly, mostly in a blur. The kids and parents leave and the teachers cheer when Namjoon announces they’d all get a Christmas bonus. He slips into his office, eager to take off the costume and get home - alone - to drink beer - alone - and celebrate his winter break - alone. He sighs.
Stephen Hawking’s final theory suggests the possibility of multiple universes.
Maybe in one of those timelines, Namjoon would’ve never lost his phone and he’d be in a cozy hotel somewhere, sharing a warm latte with Jungkook, deeply in love.
How unfortunate it is that in this timeline, he’s ridding himself of all Santa-related clothing, practically peeling it off of him. This material is unbreathable. He’s only in a thin tee and boxers with red pants pooling around his thighs, when his door suddenly opens.
“Oh, wow thighs, those are thighs, and I shouldn’t be seeing thighs,” Jungkook gasps, turning his head, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you were changing; I’ll just come back!”
“Jungkook, you’re fine.” Namjoon laughs, stepping out of the pants and putting on a pair of sweats. “I should’ve locked the door, I’m sorry. You can come in.”
Jungkook’s ears are pink when he tip toes inside, still looking away.
“I’m dressed.”
He spares a glance, giving him a slow once over to make sure he had all the proper clothes on, and relaxes his posture. Namjoon awkwardly runs a hand through his hair, finding it damp with sweat. He probably looks all sorts of disgusting right now.
“What do you need?” Namjoon asks, friendly, cordial, polite - how he should’ve been from the beginning.
“I…” Jungkook changes his mind. “Are you still okay with getting that tattoo?”
Namjoon bites his lip, unable to respond. Was it a good idea to go out with Jungkook? Probably not.
“Aren’t Hoseok and Harin waiting?”
Jungkook’s face falls. “Is that a no?”
“It’s winter break.” Namjoon says and it was always an uncomfortable thing, setting boundaries. “I don’t want to take away your time from them.”
“Namjoon,” Jungkook sounds frustrated, “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” Namjoon feigns innocence, leaning back against his desk. “I’m just saying it’s almost Christmas. It might be better to spend time with your loved ones.”
“Namjoon, we’ve been texting each other almost everyday.” Jungkook takes a step forward.
He winces. “Yeah, we have.”
“I drive out of my way to come to the cafe near your academy, just so we can get coffee together. My work is on the other side of town.” Jungkook comes closer and Namjoon can’t go anywhere, except press into his desk further.
“That’s...very generous of you.” Namjoon has no idea where this is going, because does Jungkook seem? Exasperated?
“Generous.” Jungkook’s voice drops on the word.
Jungkook cages him in and alarms blare in Namjoon’s head. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, red alert! I repeat! Red alert!
“After all of that, you think I’m being generous. You avoided me the entire festival. Now, you don’t want to hang out with me. What is going on?”
Namjoon opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.
Jungkook’s hand cups his face and Namjoon finally clicks into gear.
“I’m not a homewrecker!” Namjoon breaks away, shouting.
He blinks, processing Namjoon’s words. “W-What? What are you talking about?”
“I like you,” Namjoon blurts out, “I really like you - the Lord and Santa know how much I like you - but I’m not going to be the person to get in the way of your family.”
“The Lord and Santa...my family...Namjoon, what the fuck are you saying?” Jungkook’s brows furrow.
“Hoseok and Harin!” Namjoon repeats, equally as frustrated. “Your partner and your daughter?”
“My what?" Jungkook screams. He takes a pause, only to lament further, "Oh my god! The fact that I still like men is proof that sexuality is not a choice!” He glares at him. “Namjoon, Hoseok and Harin aren’t my family! Hoseok is a close friend! His husband is someone else! You met him when he came late to the Christmas festival!”
Namjoon has no such memory, especially not when he’s being presented with rather shocking information that completely twisted his world on its axis.
“The dude everyone was trying to take pictures of because they thought he was an actor?”
“He wasn’t an actor?” Namjoon comes back to himself, memories flooding. Then why had he felt so starstruck when they met?
“He has that effect on people. It’s the,” Jungkook motions towards his own face, “whole face thing he has going on. I don’t really know. He looks like a worm to me.”
“That’s Harin’s other dad? Not you?”
“No!” Jungkook laughs incredulously. “Namjoon, I am 100% single. The delivery dudes from Yogiyo and Baedal Minjok know me by name. It is a hate crime, how single I am.”
“I agree.” Namjoon murmurs, shell-shocked. “Have you seen yourself? People who look like you haven’t spent a day of their life unadored.”
Jungkook huffs, “And that’s exactly why I spent it single, because no one is able to do that! No one else can say what you say and make me feel so happy!”
“...Me too.” Namjoon says, voice small. “I feel the same way.”
“So can you finally stop being weird and,” Jungkook laughs, “talking to coworkers about how I won’t ever know your dick size?”
Namjoon laughs with him, too relieved and out-of-the-world happy, to feel embarrassed from that slip-up. All this time had he really been that blind? He could’ve had Jungkook earlier, fallen head over heels in love with him earlier -
“So you’re single.” Namjoon states, hands falling on his waist.
“Yup.”
“And I’m single.”
“Uh huh…”
“And we’re both on winter break and have just professed our undying love for each other.”
“We did no such thing, but please,” Jungkook wraps his arms around his shoulders, “continue.”
“Sounds to me like we can officially start dating.”
“Mm,” Jungkook hums, grinning against his lips, not quite a kiss yet, “And what a wonderful sound it is.”
This time around, their kiss lingers. Slow and sweet, because this time, there’s no blizzard outside, no flights to worry about, no numbers to lose, no adultery to be committed.
Just him and Jungkook, at long last.
“So can we do something to commemorate this long overdue achievement of ours?” Jungkook suggests.
“The promise?”
His eyes twinkle.
“Yes, the promise.”
To Namjoon’s surprise, Jungkook has a tattoo parlor called, "Tiger Lily."
“You thought I was working Jin-hyung’s job?” Jungkook’s hand is steady on his wrist as he cleans the tattoo, despite his giggle, “I never wanted to mention it because of your weird comments.”
“Exactly! You show up to school acting like Harin’s dad and never talk about work! All you ever say about Hoseok is something vague, like ‘Hobi-hyung is just Hobi-hyung.’ How was I supposed to figure it out?”
“I don’t know! Maybe when I send you thirst selfies of me at the gym? When I text you at 11 PM on a weekday?”
“Taehyung does all of that to Yoongi and they’re just friends - oh.”
“Stupid. Smart and stupid. Can’t believe I pined over you for five years.”
Namjoon grins, despite being insulted. “Are you almost done? Can I see now?”
“Hold on.” Jungkook finishes up the wrapping. “Okay, I’m done.”
When Namjoon sees the tattoo, a gasp gets trapped in his throat.
“Wow.” He says, breathless.
“Merry Christmas.” Jungkook smiles. “Now you’re bound to me for an eternity.”
“Only an eternity?” And before Jungkook could say anything, he adds on, “I know I talk like a dad.”
Somehow, Jungkook must find this very sexy, because he moves to kiss the laugh right out of Namjoon’s mouth, and he lets him, because they have five years of kisses to catch up on and there’s no time to waste.
As they kiss, Namjoon intertwines their hands together, and right there on his wrist, are the words remember me in Korean. A tiger lily flower accents the words, a gentle reminder of their story.
But as he feels Jungkook's warmth against him and the smiles they press into each other, Namjoon has a feeling he'll never forget.