Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

walmart sonic added cryign, disney princess, deeznutz, anti furry, ligma, and 13 others to chat: UA CLASS 1A!

walmart sonic: Hello classmates!
walmart sonic: This is Iida Tenya here.
walmart sonic: Welcome to the class group chat! Kindly introduce yourselves.

john cena: hi iida~ i’m easy to guess lol

cryign: did sum1 send a message right after iida lol
cryign: i… cant see it…

danki lol: please go to hell midoriya

cryign: howd u know it was me Mr My Nickname Is Very Lame

danki lol: its ironic u FUCK. thats why theres an ell oh ell there

suga honi honi: jared, 19
suga honi honi: this is sato btw!

walmart sonic: Hello!

kachowski: he guessed cuz of ur fucken overactive tear glands
kachowski: teary eyed headass

cryign: KACHOWSKI

Gravity by John Mayer: KACHOWSKI

jack goff: KACHOWSKI

girl in red: thats so funny stop
girl in red: its perfect

jack goff: girl in red… as in the musician?

girl in red: its yaomomo! hi jirou~
girl in red: also. its bc i like to make my sexuality apparent

deeznutz: its pretty obvious like every single waking hour
deeznutz: ur quite literally a sword lesbian yaomomo

girl in red: good.

dead meme: girl… im hearin sumn
dead meme: soooooo hi jirou @jack goff

jack goff: you aare going tp helel

girl in red: ?

jack goff: bye i need to take a shit or something

danki lol: …
danki lol: positively charmed

Gravity by John Mayer: kaminari out here, Asking If Girls Poop

danki lol: ?@?@?>?!>
danki lol: wait nice username uraraka

Gravity by John Mayer: THANKS i had to think about it for a while
Gravity by John Mayer: although bakugo’s is the best ez win

im notinto fuckign tentlecporn: hi folks.

ligma: NAH… URARAKA IS EATING HER WORDS RN.

cryign: SHOUJI????????????

dead meme: gorgeous. this is stunning.

poser: i saw u guys were admiring shouji’s nickname
poser: and decided that i, too, love me some attention.

Gravity by John Mayer: HOLY SHIT
Gravity by John Mayer: and when shouji finally changes his hero name cuz of how much he regrets it… oprah gif

ligma: why is ur nickname poser tokoyami

poser: thanks for the attention ligma
poser: its because u guys think im all dark and brooding and emo

ice ice baby: have u seen your room, lil guy?

cryign: hi todoroki kunnnnn

ice ice baby: hi midoriya

poser: give me attention
poser: u lovebirds make me sick. love fucking sucks.

ice ice baby: this is why we think ur emo as hell
ice ice baby: kinda funny of u to call us lovebirds,

cryign: Bird Man

ice ice baby: i love it when we finish each others

cryign: sandwiches?

ice ice baby: thats exactly what i was gonna say!

red litmus: so what im seeing is that ur not denying the lovebirds part

ice ice baby: and what would u do if i told u we were lovers
ice ice baby: dare i say, soulmates

cryign: hey shouto babe~

john cena: WHAT THE FUCK
john cena: R YALL FOR REAL RN

cryign: help

ice ice baby: fools. absolute fools
ice ice baby: If Only You’d Realised That My Childhood Trauma Has Left Me Incapable Of Expressing My Emotions In A Healthy Way And Made Me Emotionally Unavailable While Also Making Me Afraid Of Commitment,
ice ice baby: there would be one less broken heart tonight.

kachowski: …
kachowski: i must admit
kachowski: that was funny

mom spaghet: HUH?!
mom spaghet: new developments~~~~

poser: woah

ice ice baby: thank you for the compliment

kachowski: shut the fuck up my brand of humour is just jokes about trauma

ice ice baby: i shall always hold it close to my heart, kacchan.

kachowski: im gonna give you a second to delete that message

ice ice baby: no i dont think so actually

deeznutz: todoroki no

ice ice baby: todoroki yes methinks

cryign: todoroki yes

Gravity by John Mayer: todoroki yes

girl in red: todoroki yes

jack goff: todoroki yes

danki lol: todoroki yes

walmart sonic: i think i speak for everyone when i say
walmart sonic: todoroki yes

kachowski: im gonna blow this house up

im notinto fuckign tentlecporn: this just in iida encouraging conflict? without autocaps on????
im notinto fuckign tentlecporn: call me Bob Woodward for that headline

cryign: who is bob woodward

im notinto fuckign tentlecporn: dont ask me no stupid fucking questions i just googled famous journalists and picked the first one

red litmus: nicely done

danki lol: who is red litmus

red litmus: lol its ashido

kachowski: is that
kachowski: is that

deeznutz: ASHIDO
deeznutz: IS THAT A CHEMISTRY JOKE

red litmus: …

danki lol: UR A NERD?

kachowski: thats like basic chem knowledge idiot

red litmus: i pay attention in One chemistry lesson,

john cena: its cute i like itttt

red litmus: why can u guys not be more like hagakure
red litmus: i hate this fucking family

anti furry: i should be the one saying that
anti furry: i was tryna read a book or something but yall blew my phone up
anti furry: and then i walked into… whatever the hell is going on

disney princess: mashi you can read?

anti furry: .
anti furry: i dont like being friends with you guys

mom spaghet: WAS THAT KOUDA?!
mom spaghet: woww!!
mom spaghet: beautifully executed!!

cryign: YALLMAKEM ME SICK.
cryign: what did ojiro do to warrant this treatment

suga honi honi: Heterosexuality

dead meme: can you please censor that shit

suga honi honi: TW// HETEROSEXUALITY heterosexuality

girl in red: thanks

anti furry: heterosexuaLITy!

danki lol: fuck

ice ice baby: im gonna drop out of ua so i dontn haveto deal with this shit

poser: kick this bitch out

anti furry: Guys Im Joking
anti furry: heterosexualEWty!

ligma: u survive night one.

cryign: u guys go to bed ur gonna piss the others off

ice ice baby: i dont wanna

cryign: :/

ice ice baby: oh
ice ice baby: goodnight everyone. i will be going to bed now. using your phone so late at night is not good for you, hope you guys have sweet dreams.

cryign: :D

ligma: gay as hell
liked by poser, kachowski, girl in red, and 16 others.

//

cryign: gusygusyydy

Gravity by John Mayer: hi dekuuuuuu

cryign: CHAKOOOOOO
cryign: hiiiiiii

kachowski: stop texting during class

cryign: its a free country kacchan

kachowski: oh?
kachowski: *cracks knuckles*

cryign: NVM.

//

ice ice baby: did
ice ice baby: did bakugo just
ice ice baby: rp in chat

red litmus: NO

ligma: NO

deez nutz: NO

anti furry: NO
anti furry: well

cryign: ohmygifjg my childhood bully is a furry
cryign: spread the word

kachowski: HOW DOES THAT MAKE ME A FURRY

cryign: today its *cracks knuckles*
cryign: tomorrow it’ll be owo nya? *nuzzles*

Gravity by John Mayer: CURSED

ice ice baby: hes right ask mashirao

anti furry: thats the natural progression of events usually, yes

ice ice baby: thank you, Fur Doctor

anti furry: consultation will be 493 dollars
anti furry: cash or card?

cryign: but who is gonna be charged for the consultation
cryign: me todoroki kun or kacchan

anti furry: kacchan

cryign: kachowski brother u owe the Fur Doctor
cryign: 493 dollars

anti furry: usd

cryign: 493 dollars usd

kachowski: we live in japan
kachowski: heres 500 yen keep the change

Gravity by John Mayer: ho

cryign: OCHAKO

ice ice baby: HO

dead meme: todo did u just call midoriya chan a ho?
dead meme: gthats not nice

ice ice baby: whm
ice ice baby: yes actually. hes my ho

cryign: :’)

ice ice baby: :*

girl in red: gay people disgust me

ice ice baby: why do you say that?
ice ice baby: did u look at urself in the mirror or something?

girl in red: dude i fricken hate you

Gravity by John Mayer: if deku n todoroki dont stop flirting

cryign: oh? somebody jealous?

jack goff: yeah tbh
jack goff: thats me

ice ice baby: :/

cryign: :/

Gravity by John Mayer: :/

danki lol: :/

cryign: hi denki

danki lol: hiiiiii izukuuuuuuu :*

jack goff: hey wait just a minute
jack goff: thats todos boyf ur kissing

danki lol: i know! hi zuku :*

ice ice baby: did you know that water and electricity don’t mix well
ice ice baby: lovely how i can make water with my quirk

danki lol: imso fuckig sorryr pellase dont hurt me

cryign: he would never hurt u prettyboy

ice ice baby: thats right im a good fella
ice ice baby: i respect the law

girl in red: ur literally a homosexual
girl in red: what law are you respecting

ice ice baby: now when you put it like that

jack goff: yaomomo is so goddamn funny

danki lol: hmm yea.
danki lol: of course.

jack goff: ?

danki lol: im just sayin.
danki lol: of course YOU think YAOMOMO is funny.

jack goff: yeah cuz she IS funny.

//

@jirokyo, @denkzzz

jirou: SHUT THE FUCK UP
jirou: BITCHASS

denki: WHATD I DO!

jirou: your bloodline ends here.

denki: oh

//

danki lol: fair enuf.

jack goff: yup.

//

@jirokyo, @denkzzz

jirou: thats what i fuckign thought
jirou: ho

//

cryign: dude that was so ominous

Gravity by John Mayer: for no goddamn reason too.

girl in red: i was not even on the receiving end of that
girl in red: and im literally shaking

danki lol: WELL I WAS
danki lol: feeling like i just escaped the jaws of death.

jack goff: har har.

girl in red: OH KYOUKA

jack goff: YES?

danki lol: instant response

jack goff: ?

danki lol: bye guys i have something to do

girl in red: ?? kk kaminari kun i’ll see ya at dinner!
girl in red: thxxx kyo :’) i aim to please
girl in red: with my humour

ice ice baby: what humour?
ice ice baby: jirou only thinks your funny because sh*GUNSHOTS*

jack goff: THATS WHAT I FUCKING THOUGHT
jack goff: ICY HOT BASTARD!!!!!!!

kachowski: im literally gonna sue you for copyright infringement

cryign: legal processes? booorrrriiinnnngggg
cryign: why do that when you could play 100gecs at a very low volume right outside jirous room so shes the only one bothered by it and exact revenge in that manner..?

kachowski: k so
kachowski: i was gonna hunt you down for implying that i was being boring
kachowski: but that was
kachowski: SAVOUR THIS YOU FUCKING NERD
kachowski: actually a
kachowski: good
kachowski: ish
kachowski: idea

cryign: it took kacchan 6 messages to admit the truth

kachowski: fuck off

cryign: im glad we can be honest with our feelings, pal :-)

kachowski: what the fuck did you just call me?

ice ice baby: doesnt say anything about Kacchan. has a problem with Pal.

kachowski: SHUT UP TODOROKI NOBODY ASKED YOU.

ice ice baby: well midoriya
ice ice baby: for what its worth
ice ice baby: i would love to be your pal
ice ice baby: it would be an honour

cryign: pal?
cryign: todoroki kun we are literally married?
cryign: have been for 13.7 years now?

kachowski: literally fuck off you cant get married at age 2.3

cryign: yes i can
cryign: if its true love

ice ice baby: youre right
ice ice baby: i have my vows right here in my notes app.
ice ice baby: midoriya im in love with you

cryign: me too baby <3

ice ice baby: <3
ice ice baby: no homo tho.

cryign: that is obviously a given.

//

@shotodo, @momomo

momo: k so im lurking

shouto: i know. u dont have to say it

momo: shouuuu
momo: r u ok..?

shouto: are any of us?

momo: you need to
momo: stop spending time w tokoyami
momo: however wonderful and profound his poetry is

shouto: BUT HE GETS ME !!!!!!!

momo: YEA BECAUSE
momo: BOTH OF U ARE WANNABE EDGELORDS

shouto: *le gasp*

momo: l
momo: le g
momo: never fucking contact me again

shouto: imsorry i willbnevevr do taht again

momo: YOUR CRY TYPING DOES NOT MOVE ME.
momo: im never asking u if ur okay again
momo: if this is what i have to deal with

shouto: omgogmgogkgm stop fineee tough crowd...
shouto: im ok
shouto: just heartachey

momo: …
momo: ok i’ll stop yelling
momo: do u wanna talk about it?

shouto: not rn

momo: thats ok im here for u when ur ready <3

shouto: maybe later
shouto: thanks momo

//

danki lol: hellaur?

ligma: what the hell is hellaur

danki lol: OMG SERO HI
danki lol: hello but australian
danki lol: hellaur!

ligma: bye

danki lol: :(((
danki lol: abandoned once againnnnn
danki lol: whyyyyy doooo myyyy friendddsss hattteeeee meeeeee

cryign: aww kaminari kun!!!

danki lol: u know what its ok
danki lol: i got midoriya

cryign: i dont need bitches im always what a bitch need
cryign: sorry i meant i dont need cuties* im always what a cutie* need

danki lol: :’)

ice ice baby: oh kaminari
ice ice baby: if only there was someone who loved you.

danki lol: …?

cryign: ohmygod

ice ice baby: hiiiii

danki lol: COOL it with the frozen references

ice ice baby: just for that sorry attempt at a pun
ice ice baby: you just cut your lifespan short by 7 years.

danki lol: lawd
danki lol: alright we can talk about something ELSA

ice ice baby: 14 years :)

cryign: what are you ANNA about?

ice ice baby: midoriya you’re perfect

danki lol: but…?

ice ice baby: ?

danki lol: so he doesnt get told off for that pun?
danki lol: no -7 years?

ice ice baby: no why would i do that
ice ice baby: hes the love of my life

danki lol: MAN I HATE GAY PEOPLE

//

@midomight, @denkzzz

izuku: dude can u like
izuku: change the subject rq im gonna cry
izuku: in gc

denki: ?
denki: OH
denki: omg dude are u okay

izuku: yeayea

denki: i dont think so

izuku: yeah well it fucken sucks that he just says stuff like this even though he only sees me as a friend and would never even look at me the way i look at him but what can ya do

denki: mido dude
denki: you need to talk to him
denki: like…tell him how you feel. even if he doesn tlike u back, i dont think either of u are gonna let that change ur friendship

izuku: hhh we’ll see

Chapter Text

Gravity by John Mayer: hi besfrens
Gravity by John Mayer: who wanna help me w bio hw..?

ice ice baby: uraraka i would love to
ice ice baby: but im making tiktoks rn

Gravity by John Mayer: understandable.

red litmus: OMG TODO
red litmus: R U DOING A DANCE

ice ice baby: yes
ice ice baby: one of my siblings got me one of those
ice ice baby: como se dice
ice ice baby: maid dresses

cryign: SAY WHAT NOW?

red litmus: midoriya you’re gay

cryign: there is not a shred of truth in that statement.
cryign: anyways whats this about a maid dress todoroki kun?

ice ice baby: HEH. WELL.
ice ice baby: lets just say horses wont be called horses anymore….

Gravity by John Mayer: i am so scared right now.

ice ice baby: eh.
ice ice baby: @red litmus im doing the ariana grande song

cryign: whhwhcih one

ice ice baby: u will find out soon enough

red litmus: SEND IT TO ME ONCE U MAKE IT AAAA
red litmus: I WANNA SEE

ice ice baby: NOTED!
ice ice baby: i will see u guys later
ice ice baby: when i am tiktok famous

kachowski: oh hell yes
kachowski: so that means never
kachowski: best day of my life

cryign: kacchan dont be fucking rude

kachowski: idgaf

//

@raraka, @shotodo

ochako: buddy
ochako: bestie
ochako: my dearest friend

shouto: hello besfren

ochako: nvm that sounds ominous

shouto: god forbid i be nice to my friends :/

ochako: ily

shouto: whatevz

ochako: BUT LIKE LISTEN
ochako: ARE U… MAKING A THIRST TRAP?
ochako: RN? FOR DEKU KUN? CUZ I SEE UR INTENTIONS.

shouto: thats a good question
shouto: i was not
shouto: expecting that question

ochako: ???? WELL

shouto: that is classified information. next?

ochako: well im just gonna say
ochako: u know those cat ear headbands denki has?
ochako: u should borrow them
ochako: might be nice touch like im just sayin rn

shouto: hmm.
shouto: i like how ur mind works
shouto: lets see.

ochako: happy 2 help a friend.

//

@raraka, @midomight

ochako: you’re welcome
ochako: stay vigilant

izuku: ?????????
izuku: ochako what.

ochako: [white suburban dad voice]
ochako: yellow?

izuku: WHAT DID U DO

ochako: you’ll find out soon enough.

izuku: im so scared for my life

//

@shotodo, @denkzzz

shouto: hola

denki: hellaur!

shouto: i need ur help.

denki: OHO?
denki: tell me.
denki: what can this pretty boy do for his fellow pretty boy?

shouto: giggles manically

denki: i take it back
denki: ur unhinged

shouto: no listen

denki: im all ears.

shouto: i need to borrow ur cat ears

denki: all ears except for those ears

shouto: PLEASE
shouto: ITS FOR THE GAY AGENDA

denki: hmmmmmmmm……
denki: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….
denki: does this have anything to do with the tiktok u mentioned?

shouto: it has everything to do with the tiktok i mentioned.
shouto: ur good friends w midoriya arent u
shouto: im doing this for him

denki: wait what
denki: what do u mean

shouto: uh
shouto: uh well
shouto: idk if i should tell u because of ur proximity to midoriya

denki: IM GREAT AT KEEPING SECRETS
denki: TELL ME

shouto: i mean uraraka found out so i have nothing to lose ig
shouto: but i like him
shouto: like a lot. im so fucking gay like i would do anything for that boy he is my everything he broke his bones for me and i would lay my life down for him he is my best friend my partner my soulmate and i would be nothing without him and this monologuing is so out of character but love changes people and i really want to make a thirst trap so that at least he knows of my romantic interest or something like that because according to momo thirst traps are meant to work so

denki: oh my g
denki: im speechless.

shouto: sooo…? the cat ears…?

denki: i’ll be at ur room in like 10 mins

//

@midomight, @denkzzz

denki: im praying for you

izuku: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

//

@shotodo, @midomight

shouto: hi hi hi hi

izuku: todokunnnnnnn
izuku: whats up

shouto: sooo u know that tiktok i was talking about?
shouto: it took so much fucken effort so jot that down

izuku: appreciate ur hard work king!
izuku: no because tiktok is a nightmare everytime ochako lures me into making one it takes like 40 minutes to make a 15 second one w all the transitions and styff

shouto: SO TRUE IM ECHAUSTED
shouto: but like lemme send it to u idk if i should post

izuku: YEAH OMG SEND ITTTTTTT

shouto: ok
shouto: [sent a video attachment]

izuku: lemme watchhhhh
izuku: oh
izuku: ur a great dancer todoroki kun !!

shouto: ehh not rlly

izuku: u are!! u should post this :D

shouto: maybe so.

izuku: wait brb uh
izuku: kacchan is calling me
izuku: one sec

shouto: alrighty

//

@midomight added @raraka and @denkzzz to chat: WHAT

izuku: YOU DID THIS

denki: idk what u mean

ochako: now now lets take a step back and rationalise this.

izuku: this isnt math class ho.

denki: DID U JUST CALL HER A HO

izuku: YES
izuku: AND YOU ARE ONE TOO

denki: oh is this about the tiktok.

izuku: no denki i just felt like being angry
izuku: YES THIS IS ABOUT THE TIKTOK

ochako: we didnt make the tiktok tho why get mad at us :/

izuku: because i know u two played a role in it.
izuku: since both of u sent me warnings.

ochako: in my defense i just made a suggestion
ochako: denki was the one who gave him the cat ears

izuku: IM LITERALLY SHAKING WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
izuku: hes sooihrhgurhfoiwejfowirgfiojergnkjrgnjrg
izuku: im gonna die.

denki: before u do that u should come to the kitchen
denki: hes making hot cocoa and hes still in the maid dress and cat ears

//

walmart sonic: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN WHOEVER JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS BECAUSE THEY WERE RUNNING! THE NO RUNNING RULE EXISTS FOR A REASON!

danki lol: oh myggijeojgoitjgoiejkf
danki lol: was it

Gravity by John Mayer: IT WAS DEKU KUN
Gravity by John Mayer: TSU CHAN AND I SAW HIM

red litmus: WHATD I MISS

Gravity by John Mayer: ashido it was the funniest fucken thing i have ever seen

mom sphaget: oh~~~ i heard midoriya san running down

walmart sonic: MIDORIYA. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I AM DISAPPOINTED. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND HAVE BROUGHT LIGHT INTO MY LIFE BUT THAT DIES NOT EXEMPT YOU FROM RULES.

Gravity by John Mayer: awwwwwwwww iidaaaaaaaa thats so wholesome

walmart sonic: Of course, it goes without saying that I appreciate and admire you too, Uraraka san. The same for my dear friends Asui san and Todoroki kun.

dead meme: u can call me tsuyu ur my close friend :P

ice ice baby: why is iida literally so.
ice ice baby: just so.
ice ice baby: *uncontrollable fond noises*

red litmus: just me or did everyone just forget about midoriya falling down the stairs
red litmus: why was this bish running

danki lol: lenny face

cryign: die.

ice ice baby: midoriya are u okay?

cryign: todo kun!!!!! not to worry im doin great

kachowski: amongus in real life………

deeznutz: A

ligma: Did

Jack Goff: bakugo just made
Jack Goff: AMONG US JOKES

anti furry: 13th reason

disney princess: nooo!!!! thats worryingggg!!!!
disney princess: mashiraoooooo not allowed

Jack Goff: kouda you are perfect.
Jack Goff: but you cannot simply outlaw self destruction humour….

sword lesbian: OJIRO KUN?
sword lesbian: THAT IS SO WORRYING
sword lesbian: oh my god

Jack Goff: yeah man
Jack Goff: apologise you worried momo
Jack Goff: not cool

anti furry: oh, Is That Fucken So?

red litmus: You are sus.

Jack Goff: pleasie stoptp

//

@shotodo added @raraka and @denkzzz to chat: nefarious plots and attempts at seduction

shouto: guys
shouto: it didnt work
shouto: dies

denki: Uh,

ochako: well
ochako: what makes you say that

shouto: well he didnt rlly react
shouto: he was like
shouto ur a good dancer!! post it!!! brb kacchan is calling!!!!!!!

denki: uraraka
denki: why us

ochako: denki i await you near the indoor swimming pool
ochako: electrocute me so i dont have to deal with this

shouto: ??
shouto: hellllooooooooo...?