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“Soooo~” the voice of a minx in too much pink eyeshadow clawed its way through the air, “Where’s that super cute boyfriend of yours, Blasty? I thought he would be here today!”
Bakugou Katsuki was a man of many talents: he was a god in the skating rink, top of his class, excellent at martial arts, and had the headshot of a model with the body of a marble sculpture. Yes, he was many amazing things, but there was one thing that soured all of that: he was single. Well, he was also a bit of an asshole, but that was a minor thing and not what had him so shaken up.
Ashido Mina, the concession worker at their cute little PLUS ULTRA Derby, a roller skating rink, had pestered him into creating his own fake boyfriend. Someone who was caring enough to stand him on the worst of days, who he could bring flowers to, and who he could talk with for hours on a rainy day. No doubt, such a man did exist out there, but Bakugou had never met him, let alone swallowed his pride enough to ask the fucker out.
Normally, he wouldn’t play into her games; normally, Bakugou was better than that.
But, normally, he didn’t physically overhear her and the rest of his friend group placing bets on whether or not he actually had a boyfriend.
Sero Hanta, who usually ran the skate rental, was on Ashido’s side, agreeing that his boyfriend was clearly fake.
The arcade runner, Kaminari Denki, argued in favor of Bakugou- although he commented that Bakugou’s looks were the only thing keeping them together, and that his boyfriend was probably a masochist or blindly supported good looking guys.
Kirishima Eijirou, the smiling face at the front desk, was the only one that really believed in Bakugou. Then again, he was also the only one that didn’t make a game out of annoying the shit out of Bakugou, so screw him if he was willing to go through great lengths to keep his best friend’s money safe!
Regardless, they had all pretty much ganged up on Bakugou, asking him if he had talked to his boyfriend or when their next date was, trying to get his socials- which Bakugou plainly stated that he didn’t have any- or his phone number.
Then Ashido raised him one impossible, “Why don’t you invite him to our little rink, huh? I mean you’re practically married to this place… it’s kind of weird that we’ve never seen him here…” He was fucked.
“Because I don’t want you dipshits annoying the fuck out of him!” the blond snapped, cursing himself internally.
“Come on, man! We promise we won’t bother him if you bring him here!” Kaminari pleaded, but it was Kirishima who sold the deal, “Yeah, bro we’d never do anything to scare off someone as amazing as your boyfriend!”
Sero might have also been a cherry on top, smirking and proudly declaring, “Guys, he doesn’t come over, because he doesn’t exist.” The black haired male was the only one with enough balls to openly call Bakugou out on his bluff. Kaminari even grumbled about how he regretted his bets to Sero, who just grinned and shook his head, often responding with, “Shouldn’t be so gullible, then.”
“He does too exist, Shitty Soy Sauce Face!” No, he really didn’t, but Bakugou wasn’t going to admit that now… The only problem was that he needed to find a fake date by the end of the week who would be able to convince his shitty friends that they were legit…
Needless to say, Bakugou was, in fact, unable to find a fake date by the end of the week. Between work, working out, and the fact that he had virtually no friends other than the ones that worked with him… He was pretty much a lost cause. The only thing he had going for him was the frat girl from his old college who- for some reason- kept in contact with him via the InstaSnap she forced him to make. Of course, Bakugou was gay, but she did have a pretty cute friend herself.
Utsushimi Camie- a stylish, attractive blonde that he had tutored back in college for her mandatory math and science classes, despite the fact that she was majoring in psychology. She was overly affectionate, kinda bossy, and just about every other word out of her mouth was some sort of incomprehensible slang that made Bakugou’s head hurt. However, she did introduce him to a few hook-ups when he was stressed out, and she helped him get into the skincare routine that still kept his face flawless.
One of her most recent glow-ups, Yoarashi Inasa, who also went to their college, was too far away dealing with his crush on the accidental Sugar Daddy friend, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki came from a rich family and didn’t have a problem using his father’s money to treat all of his misfit friends. That, however, was not why Yoarashi had a crush on the dual toned dumbass.
No. Mr six’ something feet tall, barely fits through doorways developed a crush on the tiny (about regular sized, maybe a little smaller, but, compared to the brute, he was tiny) ice cold prince, because he was beaten in a one v one basketball game.
Well, close enough to beaten. Todoroki and Yoarashi were just about tied, but then a teacher came down and yelled at them for failing their quizzes.
Todoroki who, for some reason considered Bakugou a friend since they sat next to each other in some of their classes, immediately hunted him down to ask for tutoring. Of course, Yoarashi and Utsushimi were also something of friends at the time, so when Yoarashi went to hunt down Todoroki, the blond girl followed him. When Yoarashi saw Todoroki asking Bakugou to tutor him, Yoarashi also needed tutoring, and Utsushimi followed up behind the two saying ‘let’s make a date out of it!’ The dual toned prince paid for their meals when they went out, the stylish blonde girl helped him learn eyeliner and skincare, and the overbearingly tall himbo was a decent workout buddy most of the time.
Either way, that knocked out his friend’s list… Fuck…
Needless to say, Bakugou was antsy all morning. He hated Kirishima’s dejected puppy face, and he knew that, if he didn’t get a date by the end of the evening, he was going to see it. Plus, their last Among Us game Kirishima vouched for him even though he vented on cams and killed a bunch of people… After he had already teamed up with Kaminari and it looked like Bakugou was going to be an imposter alone, he came through- and even watched Bakugou kill Kaminari mid game.
If he didn’t get a fake boyfriend for himself, he would get one for Kirishima.
That was still the problem, though.
“Sooooooooooo,” Ashido attached herself to his arm, putting her hand over her eyebrows like a pirate blocking out the sun, “Any sign of you boy~friend?”
“Buzz o-”
“Is that you?” a familiar voice and an explosion went off in his head. Perfect.
Turning on his heel and practically throwing the pink haired girl off of him, Bakugou marched over to a mess of forest curl and a plethora of freckles that he would recognize anywhere, “Ah! Deku! So glad you could come!” The blond could have honestly kissed the man in front of him, completely unrelated to the bet or any of his peer pressure. With a hand over his mouth, he whispered over to his clearly confused long lost childhood friend, “Just play along and I’ll make you katsudon later.”
Of course the nerd was immediately sold, beaming as though you told him that his childhood Hero was going to personally hand him the moon and stars- or maybe something more practical than that.
Either way, he was happy.
“I’ll fuckin’ introduce you to the rest of the shitty squad, come on. You’re going behind the scenes, nerd!” Bakugou practically cheered, wrapping an around his ‘date’ and leading them to an employee’s only door before barking back, “Hurry up Raccoon Eyes!”
“It’s a ‘smokey eye’ for your information!” she called back as if Bakugou hadn’t listened to hours of Utsushimi going on about different makeup styles and their weird ass names. However, that didn’t matter. Since his old college buddy or her weird skills didn’t actually help the blond, he couldn’t say that it was worth it, but he would listen to all of it again just for this moment: the grand finale.
Sending a text to the group chat, it was only a few minutes before everyone would gather in their little break room after pawning their positions off to the poor part timers. Kaminari was always on his phone befriending the gamers, Sero played puzzle games when skate sorting got way too fucking boring, Ashido loved to take aesthetic pictures for the skating rink’s socials, and Kirishima always kept his phone on earthquake in case one of his moms texted him.
Just as suspected, they didn’t have to wait very long until the entire gang was gathered in the break area, dragging their jaws on the floor at the sight of a cute boy under Bakugou’s arm.
“This is my boyfriend, Deku,” Bakugou proudly announced to his friend group.
“Shit, he actually is real…” Sero was the first to curse out loud, and the blond froze in place, hoping his still very much fake boyfriend was still cool with everything. Thankfully, the emerald eyed boy just laughed, crinkling his freckles and speaking up, “Yeah, I get why you would think that.”
Maybe he was expecting to be shoved aside, to hear something like ‘I am real, but the part about me being his boyfriend isn’t,’ so when the forest haired male leaned into his touch, grabbing the blond’s sweaty palm and said, “But I’m also really lucky to have Kacchan in my life.”
“Kacchan…” Kaminari mumbled almost inaudibly.
Of course, Bakugou turning away and blushing was completely authentic seeing as the man under his arm- although he didn’t notice how much taller his friend had gotten over their years of absence- was the icing on the cake that taught young Bakugou that he was gay. Seeing as no one else’s heart sped up when they saw ‘shitty Deku,’ and no one else stayed up at night thinking about the ‘stupid nerd.’ Yeah, he was a flaming homosexual, and his first crush was now pressed against his chest and pretending to be his boyfriend.
So yeah, great plan.
“But-” there was a heavy smack to his chest- right in the nipple- and his date did throw down his arm, “At least introduce me properly, Kacchan! What will I do if your friends start calling me ‘Deku’, too?”
“Uh, answer to it?” Bakugou replied lamely, earning himself a crooked hand pushing his face away.
“Hi, I’m Midoriya Izuku! Kacchan’s childhood friend and current boyfriend! It’s nice to meet you all, even if some of you didn’t expect me to be as, well, I guess alive? As I am, but I can assure you that I’m not actually fabricated!”
“Hey, uh, sorry about that! I’m Kaminari Denki, uh, yeah, I really didn’t think you actually existed, nor did I expect you to be as cute as you are with-” citrine eyes glanced over to Bakugou’s scowling face, “Yeah that about sums it up.”
“Hah?!”
“Sero! Sero Hanta! The biggest skeptic, but I’m sure you haven’t heard how Bakugou talks about you-” Midoriya flushed, looking over Sero’s shoulder, “And I can’t see why anyone that good would settle for our dear friend Bakugou.”
“Say that to my face, asshat!”
“Ashido! Ashido Mina, but you, cutie, can call me Mina! Don’t worry, I won’t hit on you, even if you deserve it! Honestly, Bakugou’s just so easy to tease, and when he gets flustered? You can’t help but feel like he’s hiding something!”
“Riled up? I’ll fucking show you riled up!”
“Hey! I’m Kirishima Eijirou! Yeah, I love my bro- platonically,” he paused to elaborate, as if Midoriya was worried about being cheated on, “But it’s really hard to see him, you know, getting out there? Let alone finding someone to put up with all of his-” Kirishima stopped to chuckle, scratching the back of his head awkwardly trying to find the nicest way to say that he was friend’s with an asshole, “Personality…”
“Wha- Shitty Hair, what the fuck? You were the one always defending me! What do you mean you didn’t see it?” Bakugou might have been a little bit hurt… just a little… learning that literally none of his friends thought that he was capable of having a boyfriend that loved him entirely.
“Sorry, bro, but I also defended you when you were the Impostor, despite watching you vent and kill several of my friends.”
“Damn, that’s a bro for you,” Midoriya chimed in, the laughter on his face was obvious even though he kept his mouth shut.
“Right? Thank you!” Kirishima beamed, clearly excited that someone agreed with him, before pausing to think, “Wait, so the cute brunette with you at the gate wasn’t your girlfriend?”
Midoriya froze like they had just been caught in their lie, “Ah, no. I’m actually helping her learn to skate so that she can impress a girl. You know, bi solidarity?” He explained awkwardly, just then realizing that he had left his friend somewhere in the roller rink after she left to go to the bathroom. Oh, he was going to get an earful once he got out of the employee’s only room and out on the floor again.
Bakugou, however, was quick to laugh, “Oh so you finally admitted it to yourself? What was the kicker?”
“The kicker is going to be me when I bruise your shins for not shutting up!” Midoriya threatened, lifting his leg slightly as if to demonstrate his point.
Unfazed, they were back and forth, “I almost thought after middle school you were going to turn out a full homo like me,” the blond teased.
“Not everyone can be as narrow minded as you, Kacchan!” he snapped back, rolling his eyes. Midoriya also crossed his forearms, and, shit, Bakugou hadn’t noticed his biceps from beneath the baggy shirt he wore. Even through his long sleeved, black athletic top, there were obviously some definition lines that hadn’t been there last time.
Too distracted by the violent reopening of his long lost crush, Bakugou dumbly didn’t come up with a retort, barely saved by his idiot friends redirecting the conversation.
Kirishima gave the nerd a smack on the arm, but scarlet eyes could definitely tell that his friend was just as distracted by Midoriya’s muscles as he was. There was a glorious microreaction as the redhead’s hand wrapped the bicep, and Kirishima’s face made the tiniest ‘oh,’ that Bakugou had ever seen. For a moment, the blond felt a rush of pride, almost forgetting that Midoriya wasn’t actually his boyfriend, and he had no idea that the nerd had gotten so built over the years. “You know what? I really like this one!” he beamed, earning hums of approval from the circle.
Until Ashido pushed Kirishima out of the way, for some reason wearing Bakugou’s reading glasses as she zeroed in on Midoriya’s face.
The pink haired girl, no doubt, was about to go off in a full out interrogation of Midoriya, but the nerd was the first one to pipe up with a question, “Aren’t those Kacchan’s reading glasses?”
“How do you remember that?” Bakugou spoke without thinking, almost forgetting that Midoriya was supposed to be the boyfriend that he cuddled with on movie night and made dinner for on the nights that they were together. In reality, he hadn’t seen Midoriya since they split ways many years ago.
“Uh, well, I remember you wearing them back in middle school- plus that brand is one of the few low-cost, ethically sourced brands that isn’t controlled by the glasses monopoly. You got really p- upset that one time in the library someone stepped on your glasses and-” Midoriya fumbled, turning bright red with embarrassment as he realized that it was probably weird of him to remember so much about his childhood friend- the one that he hadn’t seen since the end of middle school when they split. Of course as his “current boyfriend,” it would make sense for Midoriya to know that Bakugou had reading glasses, but it was still a bit creepy to recognize them on sight.
“Wait, you were there for that?”
“W-well, yeah, I went to the library a lot to study for e-entrance exams and stuff…” his voice trailed off, “Plus I didn’t have too many friends, so it’s not like I had much else to do…” The way he sunk into himself reminded Bakugou of the old Midoriya- the one that didn’t tease him back or have biceps big enough to impress Kirishima of all people.
“Aww!! So you had a crush on Blasty back in middle school?” Ashido piped up, not noticing the sudden tension between the two “lovebirds.”
“I-It wasn’t like that!” Midoriya yelped, again forgetting that he was supposed to be Bakugou’s boyfriend, only remembering that they weren’t exactly on the best terms in middle school.
“I don’t know- it sounds kinda like you would go to the library to watch him study!” Kaminari jumped in- for better or for worse it was impossible to tell.
“You can be honest, man!” even Kirishima jumped in, patting Midoriya on the back, “Having crushes is manly! Plus you clearly scored in the end! So that’s, like, double manly!”
Emerald eyes glanced over to Bakugou with a look that the blond would have claimed was unreadable. Truth be told, Midoriya did, in fact, have the biggest crush on Bakugou, and it did, also, date back to their middle school years. However, he was so used to denying it since they had drifted apart as childhood friends.
“I mean, maybe a little bit,” he admitted, “But I really did go there to study!”
As kids, both Bakugou and Midoriya had grown up watching science channels as if they were cartoons. To be fair, there was a local program that featured a very jovial and amicable man who went by the screen name “All Might.” He was known throughout the country as ‘the science man,’ and was more popular than even tv shows about Heroes and Villains. His videos were shown as documentaries in several classrooms across the country.
“Suure,” even Sero chimed in with a shit eating grin.
“Says the one who introduced himself as ‘the biggest skeptic’-” Midoriya bit back, showing the teeth that he had grown into since Bakugou saw him last. Of course, he was greeted with laughter and a few resounding, “He has a point-”s, but it was interesting to note that the Midoriya of the past would have never made such a bold claim- out loud at least.
“Yeah you were always going on about that nerdy stuff. Fuck, listening to you ramble on about physics and theoretics was always the weirdest shit. I don’t even think our teacher could keep up with your mumbling. Didn’t you spend an entire math class going on about the process in which formulas were theorized and tested?” Bakugou rolled his eyes, teasing his old classmate.
“I-It was fascinating at the time! It still is really, and I saw a series of documentaries about different equations and their growth throughout the years! The idea that someone asked a question never thought of before and actually set out to answer it is honestly amazing! Acknowledging that someone set out to conceptualize and define our world using an indefinite series of trial and error- it’s… ah…” Midoriya stopped talking as soon as he looked around at the blank stares the BakuSquad was giving him. Once again, the only one that was able to follow along with Midoriya’s mumbling was Bakugou.
“Wow, no wonder you two ended up together…” Kaminari voiced through the sudden silence, causing both Bakugou and Midoriya to flush up- Midoriya even moreso than his fake boyfriend, seeing as he was clearly ashamed of his outburst.
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” the blond snapped back, admittedly a bit defensive.
“Well, Mr. Top Of The Class-” “You know in every single class.”
“Plus didn’t you tutor some rich kid, too?”
“Ah!” Midoriya cut in, “Todoroki says thank you by the way! He ended up getting locked out of his account when his father tried to get into it. He and his friend ended up going on a vacation and skipping out on the business classes his father set up for him, so they’re going through that…” Midoriya piped up, still slightly flushed and obviously embarrassed, but more calm.
Bakugou made a note to himself about asking Midoriya how he knew Todoroki of all people, but, in the meantime, it was a great gateway.
“So the ice prince jump in just long enough to reintroduce us and then fucking dips again? Wow. I saw his shitty crush simping for his ass online, but I didn’t know Half n Half got hacked…”
“That reminds me!” Ashido cheered with a shit eating grin curling across her overly smug face, “Midoriya, honey, what are your socials? The fam and I would love to add you! Especially if you have any pics of you and Blasty together? He’s such a skimp; it’s really no fun!”
Bakugou froze. Not only did they not have a single picture together since their middle school class photos, he had explicitly insisted that his boyfriend didn’t have any social media.
“Oh, I, uh, I don’t have any…” Midoriya sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, “I… well… I uh, never needed them…”
If Bakugou had a camera, he would have taken a picture of Ashido’s face and framed it in every room of Plus UItra Derby and his house. Hell, he would have handed out fliers with her as the staple, because her open jaw fish gape was that fucking funny.
“Like none? None-none? Like zlich? Zip? Nada?”
Every word was embarrassing Midoriya more, seeing as he shrunk into himself in that sad puppy way he always did back in middle school. Of course, Bakugou planned on stepping it, but his body moved without his brain when he wrapped an arm around Midoriya and shot his friend a glare, “He said he doesn’t have any. Not everyone is an internet addict like you Pinky.”
“Pinky’s the nicest nickname I’ve been given so far…” Ashido mumbled under her breath, but backed away from the scene dismissively.
Kirishima, on the other hand, was loud with everything that he did, patting Midoriya on the shoulder and laughing, “Yeah, I only have the bare minimum, myself! So that I can follow my bros and the Derby page!”
“Mina has, like, every social media known to man-” Sero jumped up to tease, “I’m pretty sure she still has a YourSpace account.”
“There are still some active people left!”
“Blasty only has InstaSnap because he got ‘forced into it.’ He complains all the time, but have you seen the chick who pestered him into it? You don’t have to worry, because he’s completely gay-” Kaminari stopped to reassure Midoriya, as if he was worried about losing his boyfriend, “But she is h o t, and this spud complains about her posting pics of her bikinis!”
“That’s such a Kacchan thing to do,” the addressed boyfriend laughed, curling his fists up in an obvious attempt at mocking his childhood friend, “The fuck would she wear that? It’s so impractical! One fucking gust of wind and she’s fucking naked! Not to mention creeps won’t stop drooling! Fucking assholes!” His voice was an obvious- almost good, actually- imitation of his fake boyfriend.
“That was spot on!” the entire room howled at the imitation- other that Bakugou who merely sputtered, trying to figure out what emotion he was supposed to be feeling. Was he supposed to be angry? That he was being made fun of. Was he supposed to be flattered? Because after so long the nerd still knew him so well? Either way it was an awkward mix of the two.
“Shut up! You know I’m right! It’s fucking impractical!” he snapped back defensively.
At least Ashido nodded, “Well yeah, they are, but they’re sexy!”
“I’m with BakuBro on this one, honestly? As much as I support wearing whatever you want to wear, those things are a hotbed for creeps, and I can only get kicked from so many places for hitting creeps…” Kirishima spoke up, scratching the back of his head.
“That’s true,” Ashido admitted defeatedly, “You have gotten kicked out of a lot of places for getting on creeps…”
“All worth it, don’t get me wrong!” the redhead jumped, quick to wave his hands, “But my job is kinda hard enough as it is trying to protect innocent girls from unmanly creeps.” He huffed, crossing his arms.
“Speaking of innocent girls, don’t you have a friend waiting out there?”
“Yeah, and if Blasty invited you to introduce you to us, why’d you bring her?”
Midoriya froze as the group’s attention turned back to him, realizing he had to make something up, “Well, Kacchan over here never told me why he invited me here. He just said to meet him, and, well, I promised to help Uraraka learn how to skate… and since she’s been bugging me for forever, I just figured that I might as well get both things done, you know?” He sheepishly explained, and it seemed to quell the group.
“Yeah, that sounds like something he would do,” and, “Bro, you need to get better at communication!” rang through the air. Bakugou was insanely lucky that he found Midoriya, who still- for some reason- knew him insanely well. They didn’t even need to go through twenty questions; the BakuSquad could be ruthless with that. One of Kirishima’s past dates got sent home crying because they would ghost him for days and was only able to answer three out of the twenty questions correctly.
“That reminds me! I, uh, probably should get back to Uraraka… she’s probably looking for me like crazy, and I kind of want to see the light of day tomorrow…” Midoriya spoke up hesitantly. Bakugou could see the anxiety on his face curling a fire in his gut. Of course, the blond didn’t know the full extent of it, but he did understand that Midoriya suddenly had a boyfriend.
“Of course!” Ashido cheered, patting the green haired boy on the back and as she led him to the door. It wasn’t until the pink haired girl leaned her arm on Midoriya’s shoulder, doing the same salute she was doing when she pestered Bakugou that morning. As the words left her lips, they both froze, “So which cutie is she?”
Kirishima, in an attempt to be helpful, spotted the brunette before Midoriya could wave down the idea. “Oh! There she is! Come on! Let’s go say hi!” he beamed blindingly, and it wasn’t like the two liars could just up and say ‘oh, no, she doesn’t know that we’re together, so let’s not do that before we can talk her into the lie.’
Bakugou paled; he was doomed. Midoriya probably didn’t tell his friends anything about the explosive blond, other than maybe the fact that he bullied the string bean throughout middle school for chasing what he called ‘a stupid science dream.’ Ugh, they probably thought of him as nothing but a petty textbook thief, hiding the worn out covers for days before giving them back. He fully expected to get made fun of for “settling” for a cheesy skating rink, despite his passion in chemistry as a kid. Well, it was really his passion for blowing things up, but that ended up being a gateway into learning all about chemical formulas and bonds…
He ended up ditching the scene, because there weren’t many stable careers that he could build on those skills, not with his specific passion of course. Plus after a while, he started partially losing his hearing as a result of exposure to explosions, which, obviously to his stupid middle school brain, made him mad at Midoriya for still believing in his own silly dream. Coupled with his heart beating faster every time he saw a constellation of freckles, bring emerald eyes, or a blinding smile, he was a recipe for disaster.
Their plan was screwed, even Midoriya was shifting back and forth with nervous energy.
“Hey! You must be Uraraka!” Ashido let go of Midoriya the moment she saw the cute brunette girl turn around, “I’d love to say that I’ve heard all about you, but that would be a lie. Anyway! Our cutie Midoriya got to meet his boyfriend’s friends, so we thought it was only fair that Blasty got to meet you too!”
“Mina, you just want an excuse to talk to cute girls,” Sero bit before turning to Uraraka, “Not that we’re not excited to meet you.”
“Hey! I can turn you into a skating god- I promise. I’ve learned many-a talents to impress girls myself- skating being one of them!” Kaminari jumped in, smiling like the sun.
Noticing Uraraka’s bugged-out face as it melted from anger to flat out confusion, Kirishima sought out to drag his friends away from the poor girl so that her actual friend could explain what was going on. “We’re the friends of your friend’s boyfriend!” he gleefully announced, before pausing for a moment to double check whether or not his sentence made sense.
“Well Kacchan-” Midoriya spoke up to try and explain it a bit better than that, but he was immediately cut off by Uraraka’s brown eyes going wider than the moon she loved so much.
“Kacchan? Like The Kacchan?” her jaw dropped and it was fairly obvious that she was prepared to wholeheartedly tease her friend. Midoriya’s face flushed to the color of Bakugou’s garnet eyes when the blond went slack jawed. “No way!”
Bakugou stepped back as Uraraka stepped forward. He was fumbling for how to act, since clearly the brunette wasn’t looking at him with disgust. No, she was looking at him like he just gave her a puppy for Christmas, and, honestly, he was getting wigged out by it. Midoriya was extra fidgety, too, so that made everything amplify tenfold. Bakugou was almost regretting grabbing his childhood friend rather than just admitting that he was a loser who made up a fake boyfriend for a bet.
“You’re, like, a legend around the office!”
That… he wasn’t expecting. That was the opposite of what he was expecting, honestly.
“I honestly didn’t believe that you could make an alarm clock blow up like a time bomb! I mean, sure, I would always look at my alarm clock weird after watching one too many action movies, but that was because I was a kid!” she babbled on, effectively confusing most of the crowd- Bakugou especially.
“You remember that shit?”
“The baby sitter was so mad at you-” Midoriya giggled, temporarily forgetting about his embarrassment, but the flush was still there, “And of course I remember! I cried when my mom bought me a new alarm clock because I was so scared it was going to blow up on me again!”
“Yeah! I remember asking you why you never used alarms, and I thought you were lying!” Uraraka was clearly enjoying the situation.
“Wait, wait, wait, BakuBro- you blew up Midoriya’s alarm clock?”
“He made my alarm clock blow itself up.”
“Honestly, I didn’t think it was possible, but the whole lab got together and tried it out. We’re lucky our boss is cool, because we’ve blown a lot of stuff up just listening to Midoriya’s stories,” Uraraka huffed, earning an eyeroll from her friend.
“Wait, where do you guys work?”
“Midoriya didn’t tell you? Ugh, that’s so like him. We work at Yagi Corp!” Uraraka chimed cheerfully, “I’m Uraraka Ochako of the Gravity Department! Midoriya Izuku over here is from the General Physics Department! We work together a lot on things like how gravitational pull alters standard formulas, and at what rate!”
“And you never told us? What, did you think we were too stupid to understand how big of a deal that is?” Kaminari was the first fumbling to speak up, following Kirishima’s “BakuBro, that’s such a cool thing you could mentioned! Physics is like, like super hard!”
Even Sero cut in with, “Yeah, it still sounds kind of fake having a boyfriend that works at such a big company, but it’s better than nothing-”
“We probably would have brushed him off, to be fair, and said it was just an excuse for him not being able to make it... but that’s still, like, that’s such a big deal…” Ashido hummed to herself.
Once the peanut gallery put in their two cents, it was left in Bakugou’s hands to decide just why he “didn’t tell his friends” such important information about his boyfriend- and cool information for that matter. He obviously didn’t expect for Midoriya to make it that far in the science world; to be working under the man they admired all their childhood… it was really fucking cool, but that didn’t change the fact that they hadn’t seen each other since middle school.
“I just… never brought it up,” Midoriya shyly took over the explanation bit, looking at his feet and fidgeting with the end of his shirt.
“Of course you didn’t you! Grrr!” Uraraka threw her hands up, “You never talk about yourself! I have to heckle you for how your stupid day went-” She easily moved to hounding to her friend, putting her hands on his shoulders and shaking him slightly, “The only topics I can get you to talk about are science or Kacchan, you insufferable nerd-”
“It’s not that bad!” Midoriya attempted to dodge; always talking about science, he could handle, but he didn’t need Uraraka outing his monster fucking crush on Bakugou.
The brunette relented her grip, instead pacing around like she was a professor giving a lecture, “If it’s not Kacchan, it’s science; if it’s not science, it’s Kacchan- sometimes it’s both!” Uraraka was clearly tired of hearing all about her best friends two biggest crushes, “The science I get, because, yeah, we don’t hang out after work a lot with the hours being so long and all, but! Still would it kill you to find a different topic? I swear, it’s always ‘Kacchan this’ or ‘Kacchan that’- he never shuts up!”
The brunette, for a moment, clearly forgot that she was complaining about her friend’s obsession… to the man that he was obsessed with… The moment brown and scarlet locked together, they both felt a stone settle in their stomachs. Midoriya was hidden almost completely behind his arms, which on the plus side showed off more of his biceps.
Bakugou could feel himself flushed to the ears- downright surprised that he was so… well remembered- both in the sense that he was still remembered despite their years of absence and the fact that he was talked about in a positive light rather than for his petty actions. Most people never took into account that there was more to him than his bad qualities or his dazzling looks; he was hard work and effort, he wasn’t taught how to best show his emotions or how to deal with them, and he put his all into everything no matter what it was and it took a toll of him.
“Aw!” Ashido cut in, clearly not noticing the awkwardness between the three. She practically jumped on Midoriya, wrapping him in a hug (more honestly read: smothering him with her chest), and gushing, “See? This is what a good boyfriend is! Blasty has sooo been holding out on us with the details! We thought this cutie was fake!”
“Tch. Tch. No wonder we were so convinced he was fake! He’s doing all the heavy lifting between you two!” Sero ‘tutted, looking at his friend with obvious distaste.
“I warned you that the playing field was going to be uneven, but I didn’t expect this! I figured it was just more shallow and he was stretching it out and, you know?” Kaminari trailed off, clearly thinking bout his previous fantasy of a cold and off putting boyfriend, only dating Bakugou for his attractiveness, “It almost feels like you’re the handbag boyfriend, huh?”
“What’s a handbag boyfriend?” Uraraka broke her silence to seek clarification.
“Oh, you know, like a boyfriend who is only there to look pretty and hold shit, you know? At least that’s where the name comes from, but it’s mostly a guy who puts nothing into the relationship and is only there for the looks-” Ashido started to explain, vaguely letting go of her captive to wave her arms and get the point across.
“But Kacchan hates people like that,” Midoriya cut in, “He’s always said that people who don’t put their all into something are nothing but shitty extras- granted he calls a lot of people shitty extras, but he was especially wary of slackers and people like that… didn’t you humiliate those people that called you their friend, but only ever went out to places using your name? Weren’t they hitting on a group of girls? And you said, ‘I’m not friends with shitty extras who go to mixers when they can’t pass a shitty English test’.”
“Shit, you were there for that?”
“W-well I was trying to go to the vending machine, but they were in the way, so I ended up kind of, well,” he stumbled off looking at the ground before mumbling the next part, “Hiding behind the corner and waiting for them to leave…”
Ashido took that as her cue to hug Midoriya again, cooing, “You are too cute.”
“Still doesn’t change the fact that BakuBro has totally been skimping as a boyfriend. MidoBro’s friends get to hear all kinds of stories and shit, but we’ve left doubting his entire existence! Because you tell us nothing!” Kirishima went after his friend.
“Wait-” Uraraka cut in, and both boys froze, “You two are boyfriends?”
Thankfully, not waiting for a confused reply, she started back up immediately after “Midoriya you dog!” Gleefully smacking her friend on the arm that Ashido had relinquished, Uraraka was nearly jumping for joy. “You never told me you made it official! How dare you withhold such important information! This is a need to know! As one of your best friends!” Moving to where her hands were on her hips, the brunette looked like she was preparing a whole lecture.
“Icouldn’tbeliveit, okay?” Midoriya breathed the entire sentence at once, “I still kinda feel like I’m going to wake up and it will all be gone, you know?” He hated making the atmosphere sad, but it was partially true. Since obviously he and Bakugou were faking it on the fly, they would probably stage an elaborate break up, and both pretend to mourn… Well Bakugou would probably pretend to mourn; Midoriya had always held his childhood friend in his heart, even as they separated.
Bakugou mentally kicked himself for what he did, stepping forward and taking Midoriya’s hands in his own, “That will never fucking happen, understand?”
Emerald gems felt punched in the gut by the amount of softness on Bakugou’s face. All he could really do was faceplant into Bakugou’s chest and nod weakly. The ploy had taken a lot out of him, honestly. He never thought he would see Bakugou again, and they had to pretend they were dating- of all things. Midoriya had obviously never gotten over his crush on the blond, and it was a lot.
He hated the hope rising in his chest as Bakugou pulled him closer, rubbing circles into his back, or the way he lowered his head and nosed forest curls. It brought tears to Midoriya’s eyes- ones that he didn’t want to fall, but he didn’t have much of a choice as his brain buzzed with the feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
“Aww”s and “Ooo”s echoed through the circle, making the freckled boy even more thankful for the wall of muscle blocking his soggy face. There were a few whispers about “leaving the lovebirds alone;” although he couldn’t quite tell who they were coming from.
As the crowd dispersed, Midoriya froze to the sound of Bakugou’s voice, low and gravely and doing unfair things to his heart, “Listen…” He started out, no doubt feeling the boy in his arms stiffen.
“I have a lot to work on, and a lot to fuckin apologize to you for… this incident being on that shitlist… Fuck, I was wrong to make fun of you for your dreams or hiding your textbooks. I know that, and I know that I don’t really have the right to say this, but I am serious about you… if you, shit, if you don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Kacchan,” Midoriya hiccuped, “Nor could I get over you after all of these years-” he paused to sniffle, “If anyone’s sorry, it’s m-”
“Stop that shit right there,” the blond frowned to himself, letting go of his childhood friend ust enough to press a kiss to his forehead, “You haven’t done anything with apologizing for.”
Of course, he still couldn’t see Midoriya’s face, but his giggle rang out like the chime of bells, “If you say so, Kacchan.”
“Fuck yeah I say so… wanna ditch this joint?” Bakugou had obviously thought of plenty of date worthy activities, coming up with a whole fake boyfriend, but, before that, he had a lot to make it up to Midoriya for his pettiness as a middle schooler. He was prepared to show the nerd just how much he had grown up, going to business school, starting up Plus Ultra, learning so much shit from genuine friends… yeah, he was going to make Midoriya fall for him for real.
“That would be unfair to your friends,” he deflected, but his smile was still outlined over Bakugou’s shirt.
“But do you want to?”
“I’d go anywhere with you, Kacchan,” Midoriya laughed a bit wetly this time, traces of something like sorrow, but Bakugou chose to ignore what was probably just self deprication with, “You’re so fucking cheesy, nerd.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say to your boyfriend, Kacchan. Are you really just using me for my looks?”
“Oh, so you’re cheeky now? Whatever, let’s bounce, come on,” Bakugou dropped one of his arms, but kept the other around Midoriya’s shoulder, leading the two of them out of there. “So Yagi Corp?”
“Y-yeah,” Midoriya mumbled shyly, still mostly hidden by Bakugou to conceal the tears trails lingering on his cheeks, “I went to a STEM high school and got a college degree in Physics… and they just happened to be hiring, so I applied, and-”
“I’m proud of you, nerd,” Bakugou unabashedly used that as an excuse to ruffle Midoriya’s hair, earning himself a laugh that eventually blend into praises of his own about how amazing it was of him to keep up Plus Ultra Derby, and they went on like that for ages, fitting together like two puzzle pieces.