Work Text:
Look. Haru can explain this, he swears.
It was supposed to be a joke, a simple, light-hearted, not-meant-to-be-taken-literally kind of joke. They were all equally wasted, and were spouting silly jokes and remarks. So how come Teppei’s joke of buying a horse costume and coming to work in it was seen as a joke, but Haru’s off handed remark of wearing a school girl uniform was taken seriously?
It started last Friday. Haru, Saeki, Teppei and Kamei decided to have their weekly drinking night. Daisuke, who was also initially part of this, had been called back home because Suzue needed someone to practice ‘shooting bullets with’.
(Daisuke was very reluctant to go, but Haru had pushed him into going. “It’s just rubber bullets! How bad can she hurt you, anyways?!” Haru cries, pushing Daisuke out of the office. “Suzue is made up of evil things that you don’t know of, Inspector Katou,” Daisuke said gravely, with the tone of an older brother who has fallen victim to their younger sibling’s shenanigans one too many times.)
The quartet decided to hang out at a nearby pub that sold cheap alcohol and greasy comfort food. They were all particularly jovial, after solving a tedious case, and were in the mood to celebrate. The four co-workers drank the night away, talking about their day and laughing over the stupid things Kamei did. Haru sipped what would be his third Jack and Coke mixture, despite Saeki’s concerned words.
“Haru-chan, don’t you think that’s enough?” Saeki asked, biting back a giggle when she saw Haru look at her slowly, golden eyes twinkling in the dim light as he smiled cutely. “But today’s a day to celebrate, I can drink as much as I want~!” Haru sang before chugging his drink one go, encouraged by Kamei and Teppei who cheered loudly for him.
“That’s the spirit, Haru! Come on, the night’s still young,” Kamei slurred as he drank his own Gin and Tonic. Soon enough, the four were plastered, giggling over the smallest things as the night went on.
It wasn’t until Saeki spoke up after a few minutes of pouting at her own Strawberry Daiquiri and said, “Haru, you should wear that outfit that girl in that anime wears, the star girl.. or was it moon?” Haru furrowed his eyebrows, confused as he tilted his head.
“Do you mean Sailor Moon, Saeki-chan?” Kamei answered instead. The pink haired woman brightened and nodded, bright eyes shining. Teppei snorted at that before taking a swig of his Tequila. “No way, I would look funny,” Haru giggled, finding the idea hilarious.
“No way! You would look really pretty in a skirt, Haru! You have nice legs,” Saeki cheered, reaching over to pinch at Haru’s flushed cheeks. Haru flushed redder at the praise, unconsciously feeling his own legs. “Yeah, man. If you had an OnlyFans, you’d definitely get in the top 1 percent,” Kamei added in helpfully, his demeanour suddenly serious.
“I could lend you a skirt! You have a tiny waist, I think we are the same size,” Saeki chirped, giggling when Haru yelped as Saeki poked his waist.
“If Haru comes in with a schoolgirl outfit, that’ll be the day I wear a horse costume to work,” Teppei stated. The other three laughed at the idea, entertaining the hilarious thought of Teppei in a horse costume. “Imagine Kambe’s face!” Kamei wheezed, laughing harder as he imagined the face the billionaire would pull.
“I doubt he’d enjoy the Teppei costume very much. But I think he would love Haru’s,” Saeki added slyly, blinking innocently when Haru frowns cutely at her.
“Who would want to see a 30 year old man in a schoolgirl outfit?” Haru huffed, crossing his arms across his chest as he pouted.
“Lots of people. The Kambes, for example. Also Hoshino. Definitely Moriyama,” Kamei said cheekily, ducking from Haru’s flying hand.
“Okay what about this. If Haru can chug this whole tequila shot, I’ll wear the horse costume. If he can’t, he’ll have to wear a schoolgirl uniform,” Teppei started, which earned excited whoops from Saeki and Kamei, and a weak protest from Haru.
“Whatever, we’ll probably forget about it anyways,” Haru grumbled, grabbing the drink from Teppei. The taupe haired inspector, already drunk from his own drinks, winced as the alcoholic beverage slid down his throat, feeling a burning sensation soon afterward. However Kamei, being the sly little bitch he was, intentionally nudged Haru sharply with his bony elbow, which momentarily made Haru splutter, thus failing to chug the whole thing down.
“And Katou Haru loses! Kiyoshi Teppei rises as victor, and Haru wears the schoolgirl uniform!” Kamei hollered over Saeki’s excited cheers and Teppei’s boisterous laughter. Haru whined, frowning heatedly at his co-workers before rolling his eyes. “Whatever, we’ll probably forget it anyways,” The inspector grumbled, as the bunch began laughing about something else.
Little did he know a certain pink-haired woman had been recording the entire conversation for evidence.
Haru came in the following Monday, grumpy from the lack of sleep. He spent most of the weekend nursing his terrible hangover, and sleeping it away. For once, the taupe haired inspector didn’t rush to finish his work but instead took full advantage of the weekend to indulge in activities he usually didn’t have the time for. An example would be watching his favourite romantic-comedy TV shows. Contrary to popular belief, Haru was secretly a sucker for cutesy romantic shows that warmed his heart, and they were his guilty pleasure. He has enough pain and angst in his real life, dammit. Let him live his hopeless romantic dreams. However, the taupe haired inspector was shy about this particular hobby, and only Daisuke was aware of it after an accidental slip up during one of the times they were having lunch together.
“What kind of shows do you enjoy, Inspector Katou?”
“I dunno, I watch everything. I bet you like boring old man movies.”
“I do enjoy some tasteful comedy from time to time, but I do enjoy more crime fiction classics. For instance, the Godfather is certainly worthy of praise.”
“Ugh. You sound like a rich pompous bast- oh wait. You are!”
“Wonderful deduction as always, Inspector Katou. I assume you like less mature genres, then.”
“You bastard! I enjoy all genres! And fuck you I do watch mature and important stuff! Like the Half of It!”
“Isn’t that a romantic comedy?”
“Damn right it is! And a good one at that,”
“So you like romantic comedies, Inspector?”
“Yea- no ! I never said that, shut up,”
“Who knew the stubborn and ever so grumpy Inspector enjoyed romant-”
“Shut up, Kambe!”
Haru spent a good chunk of the weekend watching all the rom-coms that Netflix had to offer, which was countless (Courtesy of a certain Kambe Daisuke, who had bought the entirety of fucking Netflix and the rights of every rom-com film and tv show made after Haru had offhandedly commented about the lack of good shows to watch). It explained his following grumpiness on that day, as he was up late binge watching a tv show.
The tired inspector mumbled his good mornings, blissfully unaware of the glint in Saeki and Kamei’s eyes.
“Hi Haru-chan,” Saeki greeted cheerfully as she brandished a small plastic bag from under her desk. “What’s that? New gummies?” Haru asked as he set his things on his own table, huffing when he noticed Kambe wasn’t with them that morning, being late as usual.
“Nope, but it is your punishment?” Kamei declared excitedly, an evil smile on his face when Haru turned to frown at him.
“What are you talking about?” The latter asked, hands on his hips as he tapped his foot impatiently. “Ohoho, don’t act clueless, Katou Haru! We are putting you in this !” Kamei replied as Saeki took out pieces of clothing from the bag. Haru’s golden eyes widened as he spluttered, wide awake now when he saw the shorter-than-it-should-be-allowed blue skirt in his vision, complete with a pair of deceivingly innocent looking thigh high stockings and a cropped version of a Japanese school girl’s uniform. Saeki even held out a few sparkly clips from the bag, a mischievous smile on her face.
“What are you guys on?! It was just a joke, I didn’t think you guys were actually serious!” Haru cried, cheeks painted a pretty pink at the downright audacity of his colleagues.
“No it wasn’t! You lost a bet, remember?” Saeki countered playfully, laughing at Kamei who brought the skirt up high, much to the amusement of Teppei who snorted and Chosuke who shook his head in fond exasperation before heading out of the office, not wanting to partake in his younger colleagues’ shenanigans.
“No, it was just a joke! And I was drunk so I wasn’t aware,” Haru protested, a pout on his lips as he tried to defend himself. “Ah, we figured you would say that. So Saeki and I recorded you for proof!” Kamei exclaimed, pulling out his phone to play the voice recording. Haru glared at him, still unable to comprehend the absurdity of the situation. He gaped when he heard his own voice filter out of the suspiciously loud recording, as if Saeki had placed the mic close to him. Sober and regretful Haru sighed defeatedly when he hears drunk and wasted Haru agreed jokingly. There was no way getting out of it, and he knew Saeki could be terrifying if she chose to be.
(Haru shudders at the traumatising memory of when he and Kamei were squabbling over one of her gummy treats and to their horror, dropped the opened bag onto the floor. Ever since that day, he began to view his deceivingly sweet and kind colleague with fear and admiration.)
“Come on Haru-chan! You don’t wanna be a sore loser, right?” Saeki said playfully, giggling when the younger man’s frown deepened. Haru sighed once more before grabbing the clothes, glaring at them as if they had personally wronged him. The taupe haired man accepted his fate as he does the walk of shame to the bathroom.
‘Well, at least Kambe isn’t here,’ Haru thought wryly, knowing for a fact the billionaire would definitely tease him for the rest of his life.
Famous last words.
After Haru quickly ran back to the office, not wanting anyone to accidentally see him in the definitely not appropriate work attire, he was ambushed with the excited squeals of Saeki and relentless teasing from Teppei and Kamei.
“Oh my god, Haru! You look so pretty,” Saeki cooed, eyes sparkling when she sees the way the skirt reached the upper mid thigh on Haru, his long toned legs on show as the thigh high stockings clung to his thighs snugly. Haru huffed, cheeks flaming red as Saeki fawned over him. He swats Kamei’s hands indignantly when the blonde man tugged at his short skirt, glaring at the cheeky man. “Wait, you actually look cute, Haru!” Kamei exclaimed, laughing at Haru’s pouty face.
“Shut up! Take your photos so I can get out of this!” The taupe haired inspector snapped, trying his best to cover his bare stomach which was slightly exposed as it was cropped.
His colleagues (minus Teppei, who just sent him looks of faux pity that Haru reciprocated with sticking his tongue out childishly) spent what would have been at least 20 minutes of just ordering him to pose as they snapped photos of him. Haru yelped when Kamei grabbed him by the waist to make him pose, and Saeki giggled as she continued snapping pictures. Haru secretly wishes that the older woman would run out of storage very soon.
“Quick, before Kambe comes in!” Haru hissed, feeling anxious as he looked up at the clock, knowing his partner usually walks in roughly around the same time. ‘Please please, maybe a barista got his order wrong. HEUSC stopped working. Suzue hid his elevated shoes. He forgot his wallet. Someone called him a garden gnome so he will take them to court.Please please let this not be the day the idiot decides to come on time,’ Haru pleaded incessantly in his head, praying to every god he could think of to grant his wishes.
But of course, Haru must have done something terrible in his past life, because lo and behold, the door to the office swung open, and there stood Kambe Daisuke in his ever immaculate black suit and iced Americano, handsome as always. Haru’s face flitted through various emotions, from horror to disbelief to anger and finally embarrassment, mouth gaping as Daisuke looked back at him in probably the most un-Kambe like expression he has ever seen on the other man.
The billionaire’s cerulean eyes travelled from the sparkly clips in his partner’s hair to the sinfully cropped school girl top that showed off his trim waist, eyes glinting slightly with want as he saw the way the short navy skirt fluttered around Haru’s thighs. He also takes note of the tight stockings that hugged Haru’s thick thighs like a glove, visually elongating his already slender legs. Daisuke carefully schooled his expression to a less surprised one, a smirk on his face as he looks at his pretty partner’s blushing cheeks.
“Oh, Kambe-san! Fancy seeing you here!” Kamei grinned, looking like the cat that ate the canary. “Look at Haru-chan, doesn’t he look so cute?” Saeki sang, patting Haru’s cheeks softly (well as much as she could, considering Haru was literally 10 inches taller than her).
“Indeed. I would say he looks...rather pretty,” Daisuke replied in his deep baritone, which only made Haru turn redder. “S-shut up! I’m going to change back into my normal clothes now,” Haru spluttered, yelping when Daisuke pressed him against the desk, hands locking him in as he leaned into Haru.
Up close, Daisuke could fully appreciate the finer details of the outfit Haru had. The sparkly hair clips that framed his long, cute bangs complimented his milk tea hair colour nicely, and it suited the colour of his eyes beautifully. The latter’s skirt was slightly loose with the way the waistband hung a little lower than what a waist high skirt should have. It was also a lot shorter due to Haru’s tall and slender frame, the skirt just reaching below his butt. His top fell a little higher than it should have as well, since Haru obviously had broader shoulders than that of a woman’s. The thigh high stockings which were a perfect size, allowed the plumper flesh of his thighs to spill over slightly at the top, which made Daisuke’s eyes darken with desire at the smooth, unmarked skin.
“Though I definitely enjoy the sight, what is the occasion? As far as I know, my birthday was months ago,” Daisuke said teasingly, smirking when he sees the way Haru shies away from his unbreaking gaze. “Haru lost a bet to me, and his punishment was to wear a school girl uniform,” Teppei supplied helpfully, shaking his head at the sight of Saeki squealing over the two inspectors and Kamei enjoying every minute of it.
“Don’t change yet, Inspector. I’m enjoying such a pretty sight,” Daisuke murmured close to Haru’s red-tinted ear so only he could hear it. “Get away from me before I kick you in the dick!” Haru retaliated softly, protest sounding weak even to his own ears as Daisuke’s smirk grew bigger.
“Good morning. I have some file work that needed some revising. Maybe one of you cou- S-senpai?” If the situation could not be any more worse, Hoshino Ryou of all people decided to stop by the MCPTF office. The violet eyed detective’s mouth gaped at the tantalising sight of his usually grumpy and normally oversize clothes-wearing ex partner in such a skimpy outfit. His eyes travelled up and down Haru, not believing the situation at hand as Saeki and Kamei tittered at the reaction.
“It’s not what you think!” Haru yelped, pushing away from Daisuke forcefully, who’s own eyes narrowed in irritation. “Senpai.. I never thought you would be into this,” Hoshino said, cheeks turning a faint pink as Haru’s skirt hiked up a little bit higher from his excessive hand movements. “No, it was a dare! I’m not into this, guys, tell him !” Haru whined, pouting in frustration at his so-called friends who just continued laughing at his expense. His demands turned futile however, as the ferocity of his glare was minimised by the cute clips in his hair and the uniform he was in, making him look more like a pouty kitten.
“It’s not bad. I mean..it suits you. You look pretty,” Hoshino mumbled, ears tinted red as Haru’s keen gaze focused on him.
Daisuke, who was very displeased with the interruption, let a small scowl settle on his face, hands clenched tightly into fists as he observed the bashful way Haru stammered his thanks. At first, Daisuke was loving the sight of Haru dressed so scandalously, but now that Hoshino was also enjoying it, he isn't so sure anymore. He wants to be the only one that got to see Haru like this, all pretty and cute just for him, not for any other man.
“Detective Hoshino, I believe you have work to get back to,” Daisuke cut in, cold tone clearly leaving no room for rebuttal. The younger man’s eyes narrowed as they bored into Daisuke’s cold eyes which held a certain smugness that made Hoshino want to wipe that smirk off his face.
“No one has clocked in yet. I have some free time right now, Kambe-san,” Hoshino said just as cold before focusing back his attention to Haru, who was looking between the two in confusion. “Haru-senpai, you should wear outfits like this more often. It suits you,” Hoshino said, smiling charmingly at the older man, who laughed it off shyly.
Daisuke glowered in jealousy, which did not go unnoticed by Kamei and Saeki, who laughed nervously. “Hey Hoshino, can you help me with something? My computer is messing up again, you’re good with tech stuff right?” Kamei suddenly intervened, trying to diffuse the somewhat tense situation between the two men.
Hoshino looked reluctant to help, but nodded and went anyway, but not without one last longing gaze to Haru that made Daisuke seethe silently.
“Haru, come here,” Daisuke said smoothly, smirking at the way Haru frowned cutely at him. “What makes you think I will, you prick?” Haru retorted, but walked over anyway.
See, this is what Daisuke finds the most interesting about Haru. The inspector was stubborn, and hot-headed, but he was like an obedient puppy to Daisuke’s words.
“I wasn’t joking, Inspector. You look… wonderful,” Daisuke said, as Haru’s angry expression faded to one of bashfulness, so endearing and innocent it made Daisuke want to devour him.
“You think so?” Haru mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his skirt, eyes shooting laser beams at his shoes. “I know so,” Daisuke said, tugging Haru closer to him, hand wrapping around Haru’s lithe waist as their fronts were pressed tightly. Haru floundered for a while, clearly panicking. The older man’s hands rested against the planes of Daisuke’s well defined chest, golden eyes wide open.
“Ahem. This is a public space,” The shrewd tone of a certain First Division detective cut in, effectively ruining the mood. Haru pushed away quickly, moving further from Daisuke as he tucked a stray lock behind his ear shyly.
Daisuke glared at the younger detective, clearly annoyed. Hoshino stood his ground, equally as annoyed at the Kambe scion.
“Well, this was embarrassing. I’m going to cha-”
“NO!!” Daisuke, Hoshino, Saeki and Kamei said all at once, making Teppei bend over with laughter while Haru looked at the four, startled and maybe slightly terrified.
“Don’t take it off! You look super pretty, Haru-chan!”
“Katou, if you take it off, I’ll send the pictures to your sister!”
“Senpai, I don’t think that’s necess-”
“How much for you to keep it on for the rest of the day?”
At the last retort, Haru scowled before saying, “You guys are insane! I’m going to change, and none of you will stop me,” as he huffed cutely and grabbed his clothes, running out of the office.
“Aw man, Haru-chan looked so cute. I wish he continued wearing it,” Saeki said mournfully as she munched on her gummy fish. Kamei shrugged, not that disappointed as he said, “It’s okay. We have the pictures, anyway. But I have to admit, he looked pretty damn good in a skirt.”
“Well, I’ll get going then. Goodbye, Saeki-san, Kamei-kun. Kambe,” Hoshino spat the Kambe scion’s name like it was poison, violet eyes cold as the billionaire looked at him disinterestedly.
Minutes after, Haru came back in, cheeks still flushed as he held the clothes in his hand. He must have forgotten the clips in his hair, as they continued to sparkle. No one decided to tell him. After all, he looked downright adorable in them.
“Not a word of this to anyone who already knows, or I’ll beat you guys up,” Haru threatened as he sat in his seat, booting up the computer. Saeki made a zipping motion across her lips, while Kamei winked playfully at the older man. Daisuke simply smirked, as thoughts of Haru in the school girl uniform in much more risque situations flooded his mind.
And if later that day after work, Haru discreetly grabs the bag containing the clothes and enters a certain Kambe scion’s car, that was only for them to know.
Later that night, a mysterious picture was uploaded on Daisuke’s private Instagram. It consisted of two people, with only their bodies in the image, their faces not shown. One was in a dark suit, laying in a relaxed position, tie loose as one of his arms were wrapped around someone’s waist. There was another person on top of the suit-clad man, wearing an oddly familiar schoolgirl uniform, the skirt riding up high on his thighs as he straddles the other man. His hands were placed on the former’s chest, as his lower back was slightly exposed. The compromising position, paired with a suggestive caption that reads ‘Pretty boy, you did this with me boy’ leaves room for imagination as followers of Daisuke’s private Instagram ambush the comment sections with exclamations.
@kameisme_iamkamei : HARU U SNEAKY LITTLE BITCH U WERE BITCHING ABOUT IT BUT NOW YOU WANNA WEAR IT??
@saekiiii : pretttyyyy haruuuruuuu!!!
@k.suzue : hmm why do i feel like i know who is the pretty boy in question ? 🧐
@kiyoshiteppei : God i just knew this shit was going to happen.
“Hmm, seems like everyone liked your little outfit today,” Daisuke smirked, hands ruffling through Haru’s hair, who was cuddled close to his chest, both of them sweaty and flushed from.. certain activities they had done previously. Haru sighed, sated from said events as he closed his eyes, revelling in the other man’s warmth.
“Well, if the outcome was a certain asshole confessing to me, maybe it wasn’t so bad of an idea,” Haru replied, his words muffled as he nuzzled against the crook of Daisuke’s neck. “Indeed,” Daisuke said simply, fingertips lightly touching on the marks he had left earlier on Haru’s neck.
“You should wear a maid costume next, I think it wo-”
“Kambe, I will kick you in the nuts if you continue that sentence.”
“It seems as if I had mysteriously forgotten what I had wanted to say.”
“Good. Now shut up and cuddle me.”