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"You're serious, then." Nie MingJue lets a sigh rattle obnoxiously from his chest. "To be clear, you are feeding me after this, correct?"
"Ye-es," Jiang WanYin hollers from the kitchen, annoyed, and Nie MingJue looks to Lan WangJi, perched awkwardly at the other end of the couch. He receives a solemn nod, and before he can decide what to do with that, the doorbell rings.
"Brother," Lan WangJi breathes- nearly drowned out by Jiang WanYin's hollered 'I'll get it'- and both he and Nie MingJue stand, making their way toward the entryway.
"So you assholes dragged someone else into your nonsense, this time?" Nie MingJue chuckles, laughing harder when Lan WangJi darts him a prim look, lips pressed together.
"Brother was happy to help."
"Sure, sure," Nie MingJue snickers, eyes on the door. He's curious, he readily admits in his mind. Had been ever since Jiang WanYin informed him Lan WangJi's brother would be joining them. While Jiang WanYin has been with Lan WangJi for the better part of six months now, the two living together for nearly half of that, somehow Nie MingJue still hasn't met the elder brother. He figures it's about damned time.
"Based on the number of emoji sent," Lan WangJi states, somehow managing to sound dignified while uttering a word like 'emoji', "he was quite eager to participate."
Well. Nie MingJue has no fucking idea what that means. He opens his mouth to ask what emoji have to do with anything, but the words tangle unspoken in his throat. Jiang WanYin is welcoming Lan WangJi's brother inside, taking his jacket, and Nie MingJue is immediately and irrevocably in love. Lust. Maybe love. Irrevocably SOMETHING.
Holy living lord, is everyone in the Lan family stupidly attractive? The similarities between the two brothers are obvious, and thanks to Jiang WanYin, Nie MingJue knew to expect it, but the man is visibly older in all of the gorgeous, unfairly attractive ways a man can be.
Nie MingJue could stare at the gentle laugh lines gracing the corners of his eyes all day. Wants to touch the dusting of grey at the man's temples. Wants to touch him all over, to be truthful.
"Nie MingJue," he rolls out in what he hopes is his most seductive register, offering a hand to the man. Jiang WanYin stifles a laugh behind the guy's back. "A pleasure to meet you, finally. I've heard quite a bit about you."
Oh, and his smile, it's staggering, Nie MingJue is DEFINITELY in love. He doesn't make any attempt to hide it either, letting his own cheeks stretch with a wide grin.
"Lan XiChen," the brand new love of Nie MingJue's life says to him, in a voice like warm honey. "The pleasure is mine, I assure you. WangJi speaks of you often."
"Pleasurable for both of us then," Nie MingJue purrs, pulling an actual, audible laugh from Jiang WanYin and not caring one single shit. I will either spend the rest of my life with this man, or I will spend the rest of my life pretending I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. God, I hope he's into men. A throat clears, prissy, and Nie MingJue glances at Lan WangJi, who is pointedly staring at their hands.
Ah. Nie MingJue is still grasping Lan XiChen's hand. "Well," he smiles, squeezing Lan XiChen's fingers for the sheer joy of it. "I suppose I should let go." Lan XiChen's eyes widen, a surprised laugh parting his lips.
"Oh my god!" Jiang WanYin chokes, cackling, and pushes past them, disappearing into the kitchen. "MingJue-ge, get your ass in here and help me with the salad."
"WanYin requires your assistance," Lan WangJi murmurs, managing to sound threatening. Or maybe it's the way he steps closer, like he's prepared to physically separate Nie MingJue from his brother, if need be.
Lan XiChen chuckles, musical and good-natured, over Nie MingJue's guffaws. "Okay, okay," Nie MingJue concedes, stepping back. "You've never needed my help in the kitchen before, but of course now you do."
"Fuck you," Jiang WanYin declares over Nie MingJue's continued laughter. "Quit embarrassing yourself and get in here."
Face the picture of innocence, Nie MingJue looks back to Lan XiChen, now hiding his smile behind his hand. "Am I embarrassing myself?" he eases out, winking. He takes a couple steps backward, delighting in the way Lan XiChen shakes his head, grin so wide his eyes are scrunched into crescents.
"Yes," Lan WangJi huffs, snagging his brother's arm and pulling him down the hallway, ignoring the giggled 'we're just having fun' and 'it's not a big deal, WangJi'. Nie MingJue doesn't miss the opportunity presented, studying Lan XiChen's backside as they head away.
Those jeans on that ass should be against the law. Smitten, Nie MingJue sighs and drags himself to the kitchen.
Glancing at the salad, already prepared, Nie MingJue meets Jiang WanYin's smirk with one of his own. "I should have known," he sniggers, rolling his eyes when Jiang WanYin punches his arm. "WangJi-di is a good-looking man, but gods, WanYin-di. That kind of beauty, combined with the ability to smile? Un-fucking-believable."
"Why the hell do you think we've kept you away from him for so long?" Jiang WanYin snips, brows furrowing, but he's laughing, and Nie MingJue joins him. "I didn't expect you to be so damned obvious about it, though. Slow your roll a bit."
"Forgive me if I choose to ignore any advice from you on flirting. You are seriously the fucking worst."
With a long, rattling sigh, Jiang WanYin meets Nie MingJue's gaze. "Just… WangJi is really protective of his brother. Try to be a gentleman, okay?"
Ignoring him, Nie MingJue shrugs. "Is there anything I can actually help you with, since I'm here?" When Jiang WanYin frowns, arms crossing over his chest, Nie MingJue sighs. "WanYin-di." Jiang WanYin lifts his chin, refusing to cede ground. "His brother is a grown man," Nie MingJue murmurs. "And I am not a monster." Ears perking at the sound of the brothers coming back down the hall, Nie MingJue grins. "Though I am probably also not a gentleman."
"Whatever," Jiang WanYin mutters. Nie MingJue waggles his eyebrows until Jiang WanYin huffs, laughing despite himself. "Get out of my face."
"My pleasure," Nie MingJue rumbles, parading out of the kitchen and into the living room, where Lan XiChen is gracefully seating himself at the end of the sofa. Nie MingJue heads straight for him, naturally, but Lan WangJi drops beside his brother and aims a pointed glower at Nie MingJue.
Nice try, kid, Nie MingJue snickers to himself, and proceeds to plop down between them, his ass halfway on Lan WangJi's lap. Lan XiChen gasps, Lan WangJi hisses like a startled cat, and Nie MingJue cackles so loudly Jiang WanYin runs in from the kitchen, spatula in hand like an old auntie.
"MingJue-ge, I swear to fucking GOD-"
"Tell me about yourself, Lan XiChen," Nie MingJue purrs, laughing, while Lan WangJi jacks an elbow into Nie MingJue's ribs and struggles from beneath him.
"He's not hurting anything," Lan XiChen quickly says, giving his little brother- now standing rigidly by the coffee table glaring daggers at Nie MingJue- a placating smile. "We are just having fun. Relax. Okay? WangJi?"
Nie MingJue hasn't had this much fun teasing Lan WangJi since he and Jiang WanYin first got together. God, he'd been so prickly… Nie MingJue had never avoided physical contact with Jiang WanYin, but when he caught wind of it bothering Lan WangJi, he started going out of his way to touch. Pats on the back, shoulder bumps, and once a congratulatory ass-slap that got Lan WangJi so angry he growled. Even Jiang WanYin had laughed, then.
Still… While 'fuck with Lan WangJi' is always a task worth setting his mind to, Nie MingJue has bigger fish to fry. He stifles his laughter and offers Lan WangJi his most penitent smile. "WangJi-di," he murmurs, and Lan WangJi's lips flatten. "You are too fun to tease, you know that. I'm sorry. Do you really want me to stop flirting with your brother?"
While there is not a soul in the room unaware of Nie MingJue's intentions at this point, hearing it out loud startles a breath through Lan XiChen's teeth. The others look at him with surprise, even Lan WangJi raising an eyebrow.
"I don't think I've ever met anyone quite so… forward," Lan XiChen explains, the corner of his mouth twitching with a held-back smile. "It's refreshing, honestly. Is it really bothering you, WangJi?"
Clearly, that is not the response Lan WangJi is expecting. The dude looks like a blue-screened computer, blank and frozen. Nie MingJue only just holds in a guffaw, and is opening his mouth to apologize again when Jiang WanYin steps over, hand landing on Lan WangJi's arm.
"You're being a cockblock," Jiang WanYin mutters, and Lan WangJi's eyes are not the only ones that blow wide. "Your brother actively helped us out when we got together. Stop being a prick, and come help me with dinner."
The silence in the room is complete. Nie MingJue isn't even breathing, watching with stunned curiosity as Jiang WanYin foregoes waiting for a response and physically hauls Lan WangJi to the kitchen, the kid never taking his eyes off his older brother. When they disappear from sight, Nie MingJue turns to Lan XiChen, who is looking at him with a tiny smile and eyes that sparkle like they just got away with murder.
"I would throw myself in front of a bus for you," Nie MingJue says, and fucking means it.
"I wake at five a.m. every morning, and would expect you to join me," Lan XiChen replies. Nie MingJue grimaces, but nods.
"You drive a hard bargain."
With slow deliberation, Lan XiChen looks Nie MingJue up and down. "Also… I do not eat meat," he murmurs.
"Was that a reference to sex?"
"Oh," Lan XiChen chuckles, shaking his head. "No, food. In bed, I am… definitely not a vegetarian."
"We're getting married," Nie MingJue hollers in the direction of the kitchen, Lan XiChen's pleased laughter sparking goosebumps along Nie MingJue's skin. "May I give you my phone number?" he asks in a lower voice, and Lan XiChen smirks.
"I already have it."
Seemingly pleased that he has rendered Nie MingJue speechless, he leans closer, whispering. "I had to house-sit their jungle when they went out of town last month." Snorting, Nie MingJue lets his gaze wander the room, plants on nearly every flat surface. "I was to call you if there was an emergency."
"The hell does an 'emergency' look like, with plants," Nie MingJue muses, and finds Lan XiChen's answering shrug so painfully adorable, his chest hurts.
"I can only thank the gods we didn't find out."
"Fair," Nie MingJue admits, doing some 'leaning in' of his own. "Though it would have meant we could have met sooner. I would weather any number of vegetative cataclysms, if it meant time spent with you." When his hand lifts to Lan XiChen's face, thumb brushing his cheek, Lan XiChen has the nerve to blush. Oh, this man is going to be the death of me.
"How full of shit are you?" Lan XiChen breathes, eyebrow lifting suspiciously.
"MingJue-ge is a lot of things, but he's not a liar," Jiang WanYin lilts, appearing as if by magic directly behind the couch, scaring the shit out of both of them. "Stop pawing at each other and come to the table. Dinner's ready."
Lan XiChen's hand lifts from Nie MingJue's thigh, and Nie MingJue's breath stutters. He'd been so focused on the man's lips he hadn't even noticed…
Nie MingJue remembers little about dinner. It's quiet, as he has come to find familiar when eating with Lan WangJi, and it seems Lan XiChen is not a big 'talking while eating' sort, either. The food is fantastic; it always is when Jiang WanYin cooks. Nie MingJue tears his eyes from Lan XiChen long enough to tell him so, and Jiang WanYin practically preens, though he attempts to mask his happiness with a scowl.
Lan XiChen smiles at him thirteen separate times. Nie MingJue counts, and gives as good as he gets. Determined to ignore them, Lan WangJi keeps his eyes on his plate, radiating displeasure. Overall, a satisfactory meal, Nie MingJue decides, shovelling his mouth full.
Soon enough, however, they are herded back to the sofa, and both Nie MingJue and Lan XiChen openly laugh when the other two shuffle into the living room with gigantic pots in their arms, fussing over who gets to place their plant in the 'prime' position on the coffee table. The argument lasts until Lan WangJi hisses 'you promised', ears flushing red, and when Jiang WanYin responds with a blush of his own, Nie MingJue clears his throat, not wanting to know.
"Just put them on the floor, both of you," he grumbles. "God's sake."
Nodding, Lan XiChen flashes them a smile. "We can see them just as well there," he agrees, folding his hands in his lap and straightening his back and shoulders like a proper judge. Nie MingJue takes a moment to appreciate his otherworldly grace before yanking himself into the best facsimile of Lan XiChen's posture he can manage.
"So," Nie MingJue says, hand waving at the plants as they're settled to the floor. "What uh… What have we here."
Jiang WanYin's eyes meet Lan WangJi's, nodding encouragingly, and a soft sigh parts Lan WangJi's lips.
"Umbrella plant," Lan WangJi begins, and Nie MingJue gives him his full attention, ignoring how badly he wants to slide closer to Lan XiChen. "Likes moist soil and indirect sunlight. Can be grown tall or compact, depending on the preference of the caretaker." He pauses, seemingly looking for some sort of response, so Nie MingJue awkwardly nods.
"They should be fertilized often, and kept humid. This is Bichen, and his is named Precious," he informs them in the same tone of voice he uses for nearly everything, but Lan XiChen somehow recognizes Lan WangJi has said all he will, and begins clapping.
"Marvelous, WangJi," he coos, and Nie MingJue nearly chokes when Lan WangJi smiles, tiny and proud.
"Why do they look so different?"
Apparently, Nie MingJue's question is not unexpected, and Jiang WanYin bends down, brushing his hands over the leaves. "Our goals were different," he murmurs, almost lovingly, and Nie MingJue bites back a laugh.
"I'm not sure how we are supposed to compare-"
"Yours is a bit spindly, isn't it?" Lan XiChen interrupts, looking at Lan WangJi, and any remnants of Lan WangJi's smile are instantly wiped from his face, his eyebrows crashing together.
"Brother," he mutters, sounding utterly betrayed. "I wished for it to grow tall."
"WanYin-di's is really bushy," Nie MingJue points out, head tilting as he considers Jiang WanYin's entry, determined to make a show of it, no matter how foolish the contest. "Healthy-looking."
Chest puffing out, Jiang WanYin looks positively triumphant. "I couldn't agree more," he exults, arms crossing, and flashes the smuggest raised eyebrow Nie MingJue has ever witnessed at his lover. "I told you, WangJi. You can't-"
"His pot is smaller. It makes the plant look bigger," Lan WangJi snaps, now openly frowning. The two immediately begin arguing, and Nie MingJue swings his attention to Lan XiChen, still poised perfectly on the sofa, watching with an amused sparkle in his eye.
"I've literally never witnessed one of these contests that doesn't end this way," Nie MingJue observes, voice quiet, and Lan XiChen turns to him with a grin.
"I simply alternate who I choose as the winner, no matter my thoughts on their actual contributions."
"Oh my god, me too!" Nie MingJue wheezes, the two doing their best to keep their tittering quiet. "It's WanYin-di's turn to win, for me."
Lan XiChen nods, one shoulder lifting in a shrug. "Sorry, didi," he whispers. Their subsequent chuckling does not go unnoticed, the raised voices across the room cutting off.
"The hell are you assholes giggling about," Jiang WanYin grumps, stepping closer to Lan WangJi. Nie MingJue doesn't bother to hide his astonishment when Jiang WanYin grasps Lan WangJi's hand, and Lan WangJi allows it, interlacing their fingers. "Just choose so we can be done with this." Refusing to look up, eyes locked on the plants, Lan WangJi nevertheless nods, and Nie MingJue hears Lan XiChen pull in a careful breath.
"It was a difficult decision," Lan XiChen intones, eyes darting to Nie MingJue when he snorts, but he plows forward. "You both have done exceedingly well. It's clear each of you sank a lot of time and love into them. Ah, but alas, there must be a winner-"
"Did you just say 'alas'," Nie MingJue guffaws, immediately setting Lan XiChen off. With matching indignation, Jiang WanYin and Lan WangJi glare at them, and the two are wiping tears of laughter from their eyes before Lan XiChen finally catches his breath.
"My apologies," Lan XiChen whimpers, then clears his throat and sits up straight. "Today's winner is Jiang WanYin."
Lan WangJi's gasp wouldn't be out of place in a daytime TV drama, loud enough to be heard over Jiang WanYin's victorious 'HA!'. "How could you," Lan WangJi hisses at his brother, kneeling to retrieve his pot, and stomps back down the hallway, leaving everyone in the living room trying to hold in their laughter.
"Every time," Lan XiChen wheezes, hiding his grin behind his hands. "Every time I choose WanYin-di, WangJi acts as though I have stabbed him directly in the heart."
"HOW COULD YOU," booms from the spare bedroom, and they all fucking lose it. Nie MingJue cannot remember the last time he's laughed this hard. Can't remember the last time he's seen Jiang WanYin look this pleased either, and it isn't because he won. Jiang WanYin is just happy, happy with this little life he and Lan WangJi have built together, happy with their silly contests- even when he loses. Happy loving and being loved.
Pulling in a shuddering breath, Jiang WanYin shakes his head and sets off toward the hall. "WangJi," he croons, and manages to not laugh at the petulant 'no' he gets in reply. Nie MingJue has no such compunctions.
"They're so cute," Lan XiChen sighs, hands clasping over his heart. "To see WangJi find someone who 'gets' him like this…"
"I was just thinking something along those lines," Nie MingJue remarks, and scoots closer, fingertips landing on Lan XiChen's elbow. "Well, that and the fact that I have wanted to kiss you since the moment I laid eyes on you."
"MingJue-ge," Lan XiChen husks, leaning in, his breath feathering across Nie MingJue's lips. "What if someone sees us." When his hand slides to Nie MingJue's thigh, creeping just high enough to matter, Nie MingJue's lips part on a sharp inhale.
"Holy shit," Nie MingJue whispers, and Lan XiChen silences any further commentary he might have had with a firm, warm smile pressed to his own.
God, it's fucking glorious. Like Nie MingJue is being personally blessed by The Lord His-almighty-self. Lan XiChen hums, a soft, delighted sound rolling sweetly in his throat, and Nie MingJue crowds closer, fingers pushing into Lan XiChen's hair. "You are sublime," Nie MingJue groans, and Lan XiChen giggles.
"Shhh. They'll hear us."
"I don't fucking care," Nie MingJue whispers back, quite reasonably in his opinion.
"No, seriously," comes Jiang WanYin's snarl from the bedroom, and the two startle apart. "I'm already fighting a losing battle in here, jackasses. It's gonna be days before this pouty son of a bitch speaks to any of us." Nie MingJue meets Lan XiChen's gaze, both trying desperately not to smile. "Oh, no. I'm sorry. I am supposed to inform you both that WangJi is 'not pouting'."
"AH," Lan XiChen exclaims over Nie MingJue's poorly suppressed cackling. "We'll just… leave you to it, then."
They practically sprint to the door, wrestling their jackets on and shoving their feet in their shoes. Once outside, the two burst into laughter again, Nie MingJue capturing Lan XiChen's hands and tugging him close.
"It's been a pleasure," he murmurs, and Lan XiChen smiles so brightly, Nie MingJue instinctively squints.
"What a pleasant surprise you've been," Lan XiChen chirps, pressing a kiss to Nie MingJue's cheek. "I'll send you a text so you have my number, okay?"
Rumbling his approval, Nie MingJue allows himself one more kiss on those wide, gorgeous lips. "Please. Not even WangJi-di can rival the pouting I'll do, if I don't hear from you."
With a gasp of happy, fake astonishment, Lan XiChen offers him a slow nod. "I pledge to take responsibility, then. Good night, Nie MingJue."
"Good night," Nie MingJue chuckles, and climbs into his car. The thing isn't even in gear before his phone vibrates in his pocket, and his cheeks stretch in a stupidly happy grin. It takes him only a second or two to lift the screen to his face, and a soft 'oh' puffs from his lips. 'I can't wait to see you again, MingJue-ge', the message says, followed by the longest string of emoji Nie MingJue has ever seen.
"So that's what the kid meant," he snickers into the quiet of the cab. He slides the transmission into reverse, backing down the driveway, and does not stop smiling the entire way home.