Chapter Text
— [TXT TO: HF’S FINEST | 3:13PM] Lmao you will NOT believe who actually showed up to audition.
Linda Cox texted her dearest followers in their group chat while she warmed up with the rest of the drama club. They were on “fa-AH-t cat,” Linda’s favorite exercise.
— [TXT FROM: HF’S FINEST: MELISSA | 3:13PM] OMG, WHO???
The blonde smirked as she shifted her gaze from her phone to a figure on the other side of the room. Becky Barnes, the resident loser, had the audacity to show up to Spring show auditions. Linda could barely hold back her laughter as the notes got higher and higher. There’s no way that idiot will even make it past warm-ups , Linda thought.
— [TXT TO: HF’S FINEST | 3:14PM] BECKY :laughing-crying emoji:
“Thespians, we will now move on to arpeggio ahs,” Miss Lee announced. Linda rolled her eyes; Miss Lee always insisted on calling them “friends of Thespis” or “Thespians,” something Linda found to be disgustingly pretentious, even for her. There was a rumor going around that the young teacher was just teaching for fun and her father is some high ranking secret military agent, but Linda didn’t believe it; there’s no way an official’s daughter would be caught wearing such tacky clothing in public.
— [TXT FROM: HF’S FINEST: BEA | 3:15PM] lmaooo
Before she could respond, a body brushed into Linda’s shoulder. “What the fuck?” She whispered, turning to her assailant.
“Oh shit, sorry Linda,” Ted whispered back with a sleazy smile. “I totally wasn’t trying to watch you shit-talk Becky or anything.”
“Mind your business, bitch,” the shorter student snapped back. “Why are you even here? I thought you said drama club was for losers?”
“Oh, it is, but I found out Skye and Sophie get to make out, so Sam and I thought we’d take a shot at it.”
Linda made a face of disgust. “You two are the grossest men alive- wait, isn’t Sam dating Charlotte?”
Ted shrugged in response. “And? So am I.”
“My friends in Thespis, as you know, today is the day you have all been waiting for,” Miss Lee said with a smile. “Today you will all be auditioning for a part in our Spring musical, Mamma Mia! Auditions will be first come first serve, so be sure to fill out your form as soon as possible!” With that, she slid into the main auditorium.
“She’s so dramatic,” Linda mumbled to herself. She quickly went to pick up a form, wanting to get into the audition room as soon as possible. The passive student aid, Gerald Monroe, handed her a form with a sheepish smile. Linda ignored him.
“Can you even sing, or are you just here to make a fool of yourself?” The blonde asked.
“I can sing!” The taller student got defensive, “you know, I have more depth than just being a sleazeball.”
“ Hmph . We’ll see where that confidence gets you.” Linda looked to the far side of the room again. “I think auditions should be closed to choir members only, maybe then Lee wouldn’t have to sift through such trash .”
“Wha- oh, you’re talking about Becky again,” Ted replied, uninterested, “I don’t know, maybe she’ll end up being good? I wouldn’t mind making out with her on stage.”
Linda snapped her head around to look at her companion. “What the hell is wrong with you, Spankoffski? I didn’t know even you would stoop that low.”
“Wow, you like, really hate her, don’t you?” Ted gave the blonde a strange look, “what has she ever done to you besides be annoying? Unless-” a lightbulb went off in his head. “ Oh my God! It all makes sense now. You’re jealous of Becky Barnes! ”
Linda gave Ted a look of pure disbelief. “What could I possibly be jealous of? She is one of the most foul, infuriating creatures on this planet. I would rather drop dead than roam the Earth if I looked like her.”
“No, no, you’re not jealous of her looks ,” Ted explained, “you’re jealous of her relationship .”
Linda’s heart skipped a beat for a reason she didn’t understand. “… What? Are you braindead or something?”
“You totally have a crush on Tom!” The cheesiest, sleaziest grin Linda had ever seen crept onto Ted’s face. “That’s why you hate Becky so much, you want her boy-toy!”
“Christ, Ted, could you be any louder? Shut the fuck up!” Linda looked around them, searching for any sign that someone overheard what her frenemy had said. Thankfully, no one seemed to react. “I do not want to date that meathead. He is foul and sweaty and-”
As if right on cue, Tom Houston and a few of his football friends- maybe Stu, Chad, and Mark? Linda never cared enough to learn their names- walked into the choir room. “Oh my God,” Linda whispered as Ted snickered beside her. “This isn’t Glee! They can’t just walk in here like they own the place!”
“Better go warm up your man, Rachel Berry.”
“ Shut the fuck up , this day literally cannot get any worse-”
“We’re ready for the first auditionee,” Henry Hidgens announced dramatically as he threw open the door. Linda dropped her head into her hands. Of course Miss Lee chose him as the student director. Of course she had to make everyone’s life a living, dramatic hell.
To no one’s surprise, Nora Young sprang up with an obnoxious amount of confidence. Linda had to roll her eyes- she was sure her conjoined twin, Zoey Webb, would be right after her. The senior looked down at her form, finding the number eleven at the top corner of her paper. Not too shabby.
— [TXT FROM: HF’S FINEST: MELISSA | 3:23 PM] Good luck Linda! Sorry we’re running late, this FBLA meeting is taking forever :(
Linda didn’t dignify the text with a response. Of course her friends wouldn’t be there at the same time as her, of course she would be stuck with Ted for who knows how long.
— [TXT FROM: HF’S FINEST: CHARLOTTE | 3:23 PM] is sam there? he wont answer my texts
Linda looked over to where Zoey was sitting. Sam was currently flirting hard with her, touching her arm, making all the typical moves a high school hotshot makes.
— [TXT TO: HF’S FINEST | 3:23 PM] Nope, don’t see him
“Cold,” Ted said, giving his companion a sly look.
Linda smacked him on the arm. “Stop looking at my texts, creep! You’re all a bunch of weird cheaters, I want nothing to do with it.”
Nora and Henry appeared once again, the sophomore girl looking smug as she walked back to her belongings. “Auditionee number two, we are ready to see you,” the senior director announced again. As predicted, Zoey waved goodbye to Sam and entered the audition room.
“This is taking forever ,” Ted complained, “does this shit always take this long?”
“It’s just a thirty-second song and a minute monologue, it’s not that bad. Stop bitching,” Linda snapped.
The cycle of Ted complaining, Linda snapping, and Sam flirting continued for another few rounds. Despite the constant annoyance, Linda found she was keeping track of Becky. Ever since Tom and his posse rolled in, they’ve been all over each other. It was disgusting . Linda convinced herself that this was some High School Musical-esque plan to ruin the drama club, but she would not go down as easily as Sharpay did. These Troy and Gabriella wannabes weren’t getting full rides to Julliard on her watch. She plotted their doom until Henry announced what Linda had been waiting to hear: “Auditioner number eleven, we are now ready to see you.”
“Break a leg,” Ted said sarcastically as Linda started walking towards the door, making her turn to glare at him as she left.
“Good luck,” a timid voice said, catching Linda off guard. It was Gerald, the student aid, again.
“Oh. Thanks,” Linda replied awkwardly. She picked up her pace, meeting Henry at the door. Her peer led her to the auditorium stage, sitting down with Miss Lee after helping Linda find her light.
“Thank you for coming, Linda. You may begin with your song whenever you’re ready.”