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Today was one of the few days that Ritsu and Shigeo could eat lunch together. Thanks to being in different grades, the only time their schedules lined up at all was on Friday, during their lunch period. Naturally, they planned to spend it talking to each other about how their day had been, but that plan was promptly interrupted by Mezato sneaking up on them. “Well, well, would you look at that? Just the brothers I was looking for.”
Ritsu rolled his eyes. “What do you want, Mezato?”
“No need to be so harsh, Ritsu.” She pulled out her signature yellow notepad. “I just want to ask you guys a few questions. A very interesting rumor concerning you two has been floating around lately.”
“It’s false.”
“I haven’t even told you what it is yet! Come on, just a few questions! If your answers are too personal I promise I won’t publish them in the school paper.” As Mezato spoke, she wove her notepad around to accentuate her point. Ritsu internally cringed. She reminded him of Reigen. He was prepared to start ignoring her, but now that he thought about it, depending on the rumor, maybe it would be best to dispel it as quickly as possible.
“Alright, fine. No more than five questions.”
“Yes!”
The three of them sat down at a table and pulled out their lunches. Ritsu wasn’t actually hungry, but Shigeo got to work chomping down on a “grilled cheese” -- something that Americans ate. He was obsessed with dairy. Mezato kicked off the conversation. “So, since you two are... socially challenged, it’s safe to assume that neither of you have heard the rumor that you two are gods, correct?” She spoke with a low voice when she said the word “gods” as if they were in a spy movie, even though everyone else in the cafeteria was too busy talking or eating to pay them any attention.
“Oh, that one?” Shigeo chimed in. “Inukawa told me about that.” Ritsu frowned but didn’t say anything. How much did Inukawa know?
Mezato nodded. “Oh, of course. You’re pretty close with the members of the Telepathy Club.”
Ritsu suddenly noticed the insult in Mezato’s question. “I’m not ‘socially challenged,’” he butted in, “I know plenty of people.”
“But the only people I see you hang out with are Teru, Shou and I,” Shigeo said, confused.
“I--” Ritsu cut himself off. He knew Mob wasn’t trying to be rude, but he couldn’t deny that stung a bit. Determined to make sure that this interview didn’t devolve into making fun of his social life, he started over by saying, “Anyway, that rumor is a complete lie. We’re espers, but we’re not gods. Also, you have four questions left.”
“Many people have noticed that whenever there’s some strange event, you two are wrapped up in it,” Mezato continued. “Like when Black Vinegar Middle was destroyed and put back together within fifteen minutes. What do you have to say about that?” Shigeo looked away and started sweating.
Ritsu pretended that his brother looked perfectly fine and answered, “We just happen to be really unfortunate. For the record, we didn’t have anything to do with Black Mid.”
“So why does Mob look so nervous?” Mezato shot back.
Before Ritsu could come up with an excuse, Shigeo stammered, “Um… I’m sorry for any inconveniences I may have caused recently,” and bowed his head. Mezato smirked, nodded and jotted something down on her notepad. Ritsu smacked his forehead and sighed. Of course he was bad at lying, what with being the god of order and consistency, but why did his brother have to be so honest?
“Two questions left.” No point in trying to deny Shigeo’s responsibility for wrecking Black Mid anymore.
At first Mezato had been relatively subdued, but now that she knew she was getting somewhere her voice rose a little bit, powered by her confidence. “Consider this: When CLAW was trying to take over the world, they mentioned that they had access to technology that allowed them to detect gods. Multiple figures about our age were identified in footage of the CLAW battles, and two of them resembled you guys.”
“How did you even get your hands on that footage? I heard it was confidential,” Ritsu interrupted.
“Don’t worry about it.” Mezato waved away his concern with a gesture disturbingly similar to one of Reigen’s. If Ritsu didn’t know any better he’d think they were related. “As I was saying--” Mezato suddenly paused and tapped her chin with her pencil. “Actually,” she said, leaning forward a tiny bit, “how did you know that footage was confidential? Most people don’t know it exists at all.” Her smirk widened: She was on to something big.
Now Ritsu was starting to grow nervous. “I… heard a rumor. Just like how you heard that stupid rumor that we’re gods.”
“Heard a rumor from who? You only have three friends, remember?”
Gods damn it, first she invaded their privacy and now she insulted his (lack of a) social life again ? Ritsu’s nervousness shifted into anger. “You’ve asked us six questions now,” he said, seething. “Leave us alone. You’re making my brother uncomfortable.” Ritsu was also feeling uncomfortable, of course, but he was a tad too prideful to admit that.
“Okay, okay, fine.” Mezato leaned back and raised her hands. “But one more thing. To conclude, you expect me to believe that you two are ordinary brothers that just happen to be espers, and that you very closely resemble another pair of espers that have been involved in basically every mysterious event that has occurred in Seasoning City in the past year or so? Despite the fact that throughout history, gods have almost always been involved in events like these?”
“Eight. Questions.” Ritsu said through gritted teeth. He was never accepting an interview from anyone ever again.
Shigeo, meanwhile, muttered, “I don’t think rhetorical questions should count… unless we were supposed to answer them?” He looked towards Mezato, mind made up, and said, “Mezato, to tell the truth--”
“DON’T.” Shigeo and Mezato stared at Ritsu; the latter had her eyebrow raised. Ritsu sighed and said, “I’m sorry, brother, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Mezato flipped her notebook closed. “Well, then. I think I’ve gotten all the info I need. Sorry for pissing you off.”
Ritsu started, “If I see a word of this in the paper--”
“Don’t worry about it. This whole conversation is confidential. Now, then, I have a few questions for Hanako…” Mezato got up and walked away to a table halfway across the room.
Shigeo asked, “Why would she ask a rhetorical question during an interview?”
“Don’t worry about it. Were you actually about to tell her the truth?”
“... Yes?”
Ritsu shook his head. “Don’t you realize how many problems that could cause?”
“But Teru, Shou and Reigen know. And a bunch of people from CLAW. And I think the Telepathy Club is catching on. None of them have done anything bad.”
Ritsu sighed for what felt like the millionth time since lunch started. “Those guys are exceptions. Besides, don’t you remember what CLAW was trying to do? If more of the wrong people found out, there could be chaos.”
Shigeo gave one of his characteristic tiny smiles. “I don’t mind a little bit of chaos. As long as there’s no violence it’s not too bad, right?”
Ritsu opened his mouth to say yes, that would be terrible, but he stopped himself. It wasn’t entirely unheard of for gods to live on earth while being open about their identities. It was risky, and extremely uncommon, but it didn’t have to be a bad thing. Shigeo had gotten much better at dealing with his emotions and using his power without annihilating his surroundings. So instead he said, “I guess you’re right, brother. I’ll try to be more relaxed about this in the future.” Shigeo didn’t reply. He was staring at his bottled milk, a hint of discontent on his face. “Is something wrong?” Ritsu asked.
“I forgot to bring an ice pack. My milk isn’t cold enough.”