Chapter Text
Bubby didn't realize how long he'd been staring at Harold, until the other man had waved a hand in front of his eyes.
"Hello? Coomer to Bubby, come in Bubby." Harold chuckled quietly.
"What?" He huffed, narrowing his eyes. "What do you want?"
"Well," He shrugged his shoulders, turning around to wander across the room again. "I was going to ask you what movie you wanted to watch, but then I noticed you were staring at me." He turned around once he reached the TV, pointing at him. "And then, when I asked you if you were alright, you didn't say anything."
Shit, was that really what happened? Damn. He knew he'd been lost in thought, but he hadn't realized it had been that long. But he couldn't...exactly help it. Whenever they got permission to have their 'movie nights' as Harold had called them, his brain always went into overdrive about thoughts. ...Especially thoughts he didn't like to think about around the other scientists. He didn't entirely trust that his thoughts weren't hearable. ...He may have a few trust issues when it came to Black Mesa.
"...Like that." Harold was suddenly in front of him again, resting his hands gently on his shoulders. "Bubby, are you alright?"
"I..." He didn't like lying to Harold. Fuck. Guess...he was having this conversation. "...I'm thinking."
His eyes widened slightly in understanding, and he nodded. "It's safe to talk here, Bubby. As always. I promise."
"...Thank you." He sighed. With what data he'd put together, well...guess he might as well just come out and say it. "I think I love you."
Harold took his hands back, blinking. "I?" His eyes darted around for a moment as he thought, before he sat down on the couch next to Bubby. "...I'm not sure I'm following."
"I said-"
"No, I know what you said. But, Bubby-"
"I know you're married."
"That's not- the problem?" He ran a hand through his hair, nibbling on his lip as he focused on his thoughts again.
Bubby reached over, gently batting his face. "Stop that."
He dropped his lip. "Right, yes. You're right. Uhm." He looked over at him again. "...You said you were straight?"
"I am. ...I think? But according to what love is, and how I feel towards you, that means that I must be experiencing love towards you." He dug his nails into his pants. "I do not...understand it."
Harold stared at him for a moment, before his eyes widened again. He gently took Bubby's hand off of his leg. "...Bubby, do you know there are multiple kinds of love?"
"...No?"
"You don't know them?"
"I only know about the one you taught me about!"
Harold looked far too overwhelmed by this information, and he ran a hand through his hair again. "...I...hmm."
"...Are you alright?"
"No, not really. But this isn't about me right now." He looked over once more. "...Okay, so. Let me make sure I am up to speed, yes?"
"Sure."
"You think you are in love with me. Because you are feeling traits of love, and the only love you know about is romantic love. Am I correct?"
"Yeah, that's it."
Harold let out a slow breath, and took both his hands back to rub at his temples. "Okay. Let's...let's unpack this. Would you describe the feelings you are feeling?"
Bubby thought for a bit, adjusting his glasses. He struggled for a few minutes to get his words in order, but Harold just stayed by his side and waited for him. He always waited for him. Always such a kind man, for such an experiment of a human. He shook his head, before he sighed. "I..."
"Take your time. I will wait."
He closed his eyes and took a breath. "...When I see you, I feel...content. Pleasant. I enjoy seeing you happy, or eager to explain something, or passionate about your work. Our work. Getting to spend time with you is...a relief, an easing of anxieties I did not realize I was carrying. You show me...respect. Kindness. Something I do not get back in my lab, with the men and women who made me. You...you make me feel safe. For once in my life. Like I am...protected. And I have the urge to protect you in return." He stopped himself just barely from digging his nails in again. "...You've taught me things they never bothered to. Never thought I needed. They made me a human of their own design, Harold, but...you've taught me some of the more human lessons. Emotion. The value of my own personal thoughts. ...Maybe we haven't quite gotten empathy down entirely, but we're getting there." He nervously looked up at Harold. "...You've taught me how to be a person. And, despite my best damn efforts, I care about you."
Harold's eyes were blown wide, and he rubbed at them as he tried not to cry.
"...What kind of love is that?"
"That, my dear Bubby," He reached over, pulling him into a tight hug. "Sounds like a mix between familial, and friend, love."
"I don't have a family. I was...made."
He shoved his face into Bubby's hair, trying even harder not to cry. "You do now, Bubby. And it's me. You and me, against the world."
Bubby smiled a bit, feeling a tenseness behind his eyes, even if he didn't understand it. He hadn't learned, back then, what crying felt like. "...Wouldn't have it any other way."