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On Christmas Day, the Avengers had all gathered at the compound at noon, after spending the morning with their families. The T.V. that Peter is standing in front of has the word, Secret Santa!!! on it.
"Alright, may the Secret Santa exchange begin!" Peter said excitedly. "We start with… Mr. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes!"
Rhodey stood up from where he was sitting on the couch, and walked over to Peter. "First of all, at least just call me Mr. Rhodey. Second, who's my Secret Santa?!"
Tony jumped up from his seat, giggling mischievously. He had something behind his back. He walked over next to Rhodey, then did a ta-da pose. "What? A platypus?" Tony said, a shocked expression on his face. He then produced a fedora from behind his back, smacked it onto Rhodey's head, and gasped. "Perry the platypus?!"
Rhodey and Tony howled with laughter in the front of the room, and then noticed the deadpan faces of the other Avengers, other than Clint and Peter of course, who were laughing. "What? You've never watched Phineas and Ferb?"
"Mr. Dr. Banner is up next!" Peter exclaimed as Tony and Rhodey made their way back to the couch, laughing.
"Peter, come on, don't you think mister is overkill?" Bruce said, making his way to the front of the room.
Clint stood up, holding a package wrapped beautifully in pink and gold wrapping paper with unicorns on it, and handed it to Bruce with a mischievous smile.
Bruce frowned curiously. "Interesting wrapping choice, wouldn't you say?"
Clint sighed. "It's all we had. Now open it."
Bruce tore away the wrapping paper, then sighed. "Can't you be serious for once?" he asked, holding up the meditation kit, complete with cucumber packs, a stretchy pink care headband, plaid sweatpants, a pink bathrobe, and incense.
Clint looked offended. "I am always serious! That is for when you need to chill down after a code green. The only other option was zebra print, and that so clashes with everything."
"You're next up, Wanda," Peter said as Bruce walked back towards his seat, staring at the meditation kit.
Wanda looked up from the box of chocolates she was eating "Hmmm? Oh, I got my own name, so I treated myself," gesturing to the box in her hands.
Peter blinked. "That's not…. um… okay. Miss Natasha is next."
Nat sat up. "Who got me?"
"I did," Thor answered, holding a large box. He walked over to her and handed it to her.
She ripped off the wrapping paper, revealing a brown cardboard box sealed with packing tape. "Does anyone have a- oh wait, never mind." Nat shoved a hand into her boot, pulling out a knife, with which she cut the tape.
"D-did you just have a knife in your boot?" Peter asked uncertainly.
"Yep," Nat responded as she reached into the box. What she held up appeared to be a beautifully crafted piece of armor, plated with images of battle, and lots of snakes.
Thor smiled. "Ah, yes. That piece of armor, a cuirass, was forged in the heart of a dying star by a legion of faithful dwarves. It has images of Asgardian battle on it, and was made for and worn by my good friend Lady Sif. She has heard of your deeds to the galaxy, and thought that you could use some of this armor. I hope it fits."
Nat choked. "That's thoughtful and all, but did you just call it a core ass?"
"Um. No. I said cuirass, which is what that piece is, a backpiece and a chest plate," Thor corrected quickly, his face reddening.
"Thanks, big guy," Nat said, examining the images on the armor.
As Nat slipped the armor on, Peter said, "Vision! Come on down to receive your prize."
Vision floated over to the front of the room, phasing through the coffee table. "I'm unsure what someone could get me."
Nat, fully decked out in her cuirass, reached into her pocket and brought out a charger and handed it to Vision. Vision looked at it, obviously confused. "What is this for?"
"Don't you… I don't know… run out of battery sometimes?" Nat asked, filing her nails with the flat of her knife. "I thought you might want a charger."
Vision opened his mouth as though to object, frowned, then closed his mouth again. He looked over at Tony. "Do I run out of battery?"
Tony shrugged. "Who knows what Ultron did with you? Maybe you have a charging port somewhere on you. All I did was inject you with my AI's consciousness."
Vision floated back down to his seat, searching himself for a charging port.
"Mr. Bucky!" Peter said from the ceiling. "You're up."
Bucky stood up, then did a double take. "Wait. When did you get up there?"
Peter, who was walking around on the ceiling, looked down at Bucky. "Oh, I don't know it just happens sometimes."
Sam got up from his seat, and handed Bucky a tiny box. Bucky stared at it.
"Open it!" Sam said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
"It's probably gonna explode or something," Bucky muttered, but he gently ripped open the wrapping paper with his metal arm, opened the box, and pulled out a magnet with an image of a Christmas tree on it and the words, "Feliz Navidad!".
It stuck to his arm.
"Oh, come on, Sam!" Bucky exclaimed, wrenching off the magnet with his other hand.
"What?" Sam asked innocently. "I just thought we could start a magnet collection on Bucky's very metal arm."
"My arm is not a fridge door!" Bucky said, at the same time Peter said, "Oooh, yeah I have a Captain America's shield magnet you could use."
Bucky stopped talking, then asked quietly, "Could I have your Captain America shield magnet later?"
Steve laughed, and Bucky glared at him. "Peter wants me to use his magnet, and I'm not about to disappoint Peter!" Bucky said defensively.
Peter jumped down from the ceiling. "Up next, we have Steve!"
Before Steve could move, Vision said, "Check your cell phone. I have forwarded some videos from Howard Stark's private database of you and the Howling Commandos that had never been released to the public, that have never been seen by anyone except Howard Stark."
"What. You mean like," Steve gestured around wildly, his hand eventually landing on Bucky, who was trying to find the perfect place for his magnet, "me and Bucky?"
"Yes. And the other Howling Commandos."
"I- I- thank you," Steve said, picking up his phone. Then he frowned. "How… exactly do I look at the videos?"
Nat snorted. "I'll show you later, grandpa."
Peter had sat down in a chair, and was holding a sandwich. "Oh, you're finished? Um. Clint, you go."
Rhodey threw something at Clint, and Clint caught it easily. It was a long cardboard box. "Arrows? Really?"
Rhodey laughed. "Go ahead, open it."
Clint opened up the top of the box, revealing some sleek, long arrows. There was a note inside. "'Here are some Christmas arrows for you,'" he read.
He put one in his bow, and shot it at the target on the wall that Tony had put up a month ago after Clint kept shooting the wall. It exploded in a colorful red, green, and silver glitter.
"Cool." Clint commented. "Did you make this?"
"No," Tony said, glaring at Rhodey. "I did."
"Okay, okay, but what else was I supposed to get him?" Rhodey said, holding up his hands in surrender. "It was labeled jelly arrows, so I filled up the cartridge with glitter instead of jelly! I mean, jelly arrows? Come on, Tones."
"I thought they would be useful!"
Clint blinked. "Um, thanks Rhodey."
Peter was putting his hair up in a scrunchie. "Sam's up next."
Sam rubbed his eyes, waking up from his nap. "Who's there?"
"Be careful," Bruce said, handing a box to him. Sam sleepily opened up the box, and something small jumped out at him.
Sam yelped, jumping up, and then saw a baby bird staring up at him from the couch. "What- why-"
"I thought you might want a real bird? You know, instead of that robot. I hear they're very therapeutic. I would have one, but… The Other Guy would probably eat it or something," Bruce explained. "I can take it back if you want-"
"No." Sam said, scooping up the bird. "I'll take it."
"Oh. Um, she's a falcon by the way."
"Sweet," Sam said, looking at the fluffy little bird.
"You're up next, Thor," Peter said as Sam placed the fluffy little chick on his head.
Bucky bit his lip, looking around. "Um. I don't really know Thor that well, but I heard someone say that he liked this so…." He handed Thor a box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with white string in a delicate little bow.
As Thor ripped off the paper, his eyes lit up. He held the box above his head. "Tartpops! My favorite Midgardian snack!"
"I think they're called Pop-"
"Thank you, James."
"You can call me Bucky-"
"This will be great sustenance."
Peter stood up, his hair covered in scrunchies. "Mr. Stark, I got your name," Peter said, pulling a bag out from underneath the chair where he had been sitting, "and… um I wasn't sure what to get you, because you have everything already, so you can give it back if you don't like it-"
Tony chuckled. "Let's see it, then."
Peter handed the bag to him. Tony took out the red and blue tissue paper, and pulled out a LEGO figurine with a little string attached to him. He stared at it, squinting.
"I can take it back if you don't want it," Peter rushed. "It's a custom ornament that-"
"That looks like me…" Tony says, staring at the little LEGO figurine with his goatee and sunglasses. "I love it, Pete."
Peter beamed. "Thanks, Mr. Stark."
Steve cleared his throat. "I got you a little something, Peter. Tony said you would like it."
Peter stared at the wrapped box in his lap, then tore away the wrapping paper.
"A LEGO set! It's Star-" Peter blinked. "Star Trek?!"
Tony looked over at Steve, and Steve gulped nervously. "What did I-"