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Harry watched Wistfully from his seat in the study as Sirius played on the piano. It was a recent find as they kept going through the old house, lucky to have been covered in stasis charms it hadn’t experienced any of the deterioration that the rest of the Black household had, it’s black and polished figure stood noble in the basement.
It was one of the first times in a long while that Harry had seen a genuine smile on Sirius’s face in a long while as they carefully transferred it to the study on the second floor. A special project for just the two of them as Remus recovered from the latest full moon. It was probably the best winter break he’d had so far. The Order had moved base after 5th year but Grimmauld was still under a fidelius so remus had managed to twist Dumbledore’s arm and let Harry spend his first ever winter break with them.
Now here he was, nearly half asleep as he watched the dog animagus’s hands move tentatively over the keys. Like the man’s body still knew the tune, an instinct his mind couldn’t quite remember or fully trust. As time went by though and minutes turned to hours slowly but surely they began to fall into place. Mind and body managing to conjure up long lost tunes that not even the man himself knew that he still remembered.
All the while Harry sat there quietly, a smile resting on the teen’s face as he watched his godfather rediscover a love he didn’t realize he had lost.
“Why do you know how to play piano?” he asked, finally breaking the silence after what was probably hours of disjointed playing.
The man shrugged, “It’s a pureblood thing. It was important that we knew an instrument. It was the proper way. Narcissa knows how to play the harp if I remember correctly. Dromeda still plays the viola occasionally I heard from Tonks.”
Unable to resist his curiosity Harry asked, “What about your brother? I find it hard to believe Bellatrix could play anything to be honest.”
Sirius laughed a bit. “Believe it or not but Bellatrix actually is an opera singer, least she used to be. I doubt she bothered to keep in practice after going off the deep end.” A sad smile then grew on his face. “My brother though played the cello. He was one hell of a player too. I remember when we were younger, before things like Hogwarts houses and blood purity meant anything to us, he’d tell me about how he wanted to apart of an orchestra. It was such a big dream of his, to play professionally. He had a true passion for the instrument.”
Without even thinking his hands started to play another tune as he talked. “I remember the afternoons when we’d play together for hours. Song after song we’d play together.” Sirius didn’t really register the tears streaking down his face as he spoke, lost in memory as he continued to play, Harry saw them though. He’d witness what no one else would. “He was a genius really. He even composed pieces just for me and him. He’d run into my room all excited and exclaim ‘Siri! Siri! I’ve got the perfect composition for us to do together,’ This big smile on his face cause he was so proud of himself, and who was I to say no? I gladly played everything my brother brought me.” It was silent for a few moments after that, only the sound of the soft keys as Sirius played a somber tune, something Harry had never heard before. It felt almost as if it was missing something, like another sound was meant to accompany the lonely keys.
“Even after things started to fall apart, when we didn’t talk as much as we used to, what we didn’t say out loud we still had in our music. Words that got lost in between arguments, we had apologies and I still love yous in notes we’d play together. Even when it got tough, he’d still bring his music to me. Till the very end I played my music with him, I tried to make him understand that no matter what I’d always love him.”
Harry felt tears streaming down his own face. With a choked voice he spoke. “When did it stop?”
The other stopped in his playing. “When they kicked me out. When that final straw broke the camel’s back. I knew it was happening. I’d had a go bag packed for when the inevitable happened. Hell the only reason why I knew when it exactly was happening was because Regulus told me. In his music sheets he gave me, he slipped me a note and told me the night before.” He paused in his speaking and took a deep breath. Softly counting to himself he went back to playing again, that same somber and lonely tune. “That was the longest Regulus and I had ever played. We played from midnight till the sun rose. We cried, and we played. We didn’t speak a single word to each other, we spoke with our music and our silent tears. That was the last time I ever played a song with him.”
With that final word he hit the last note, a haunting end to his sad song.
Not saying a word Harry got up and sat next to the man on the piano bench. The other pulled him into a hug, still softly crying. He gladly reciprocated, holding tightly onto his godfather. It was silent for a long time after that, only the sound of soft sniffles permeating the air as they held onto each other, Sirius suddenly feeling a loss he had denied himself from feeling all these years. He hadn’t even known the other was dead until he’d left Azkaban and found the terrible news for himself. Had added on to the list of people he’d never truly get to grieve. He was grateful at least, that as the dementor’s spent those thirteen years eating away at his memories that he was able to keep what his brother left him. Those lonely tunes he’d spend the rest of his life playing.
Piano tunes with no cello. A sibling still living without the other.
After a while the two finally separated.
Harry gave the man a watery smile, his nose a little red and stuffy from crying. “Do you think you could teach me to play piano?”
And all over again Sirius thought he would start sobbing. Instead he stamped it down and smiled. “I would love to Harry.”
Yes, for the rest of his life he’d have no cello to accompany him, but a second piano wouldn’t hurt.