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It starts, as many things have, with rocks in space.
“Chenle for the last time, none of us are interested in checking out the types of parasites humans can get in the Hall of the Human Body with you!”
Chenle boos Donghyuck loudly, pouting as he sticks his hand under the hand stamping machine. With a mechanical whir, it presses a vaguely faded image of a blue rocket into his skin. He pokes at it curiously for a second before swatting Donghyuck on the arm. “You guys never let me have any fun.”
“Oh, I-I’ll go with you, Ch--” Jisung’s timid voice is drowned out as the front desk attendant calls them forward. Jeno shakes his head at the way Jisung’s raised hand drops in defeat, the hopeful expression sliding off his face.
“One day, Jisungie. One day.” Jeno pats Jisung’s shoulder fondly as they shuffle forward in the line, both digging for their college IDs to flash at the attendant. “Maybe you two can bond over the baby chicks hatching in the Life Sciences wing.”
Jisung perks up a little at the idea, surging forward to get Chenle’s attention. Jeno blows his bangs out of his face as he gets his hand stamped and silently resigns himself to being the mediator for the night as the group explores the exhibits.
It was Donghyuck’s idea-- because it’s always one of Donghyuck’s ideas, it seems-- to capitalize on the night of free admission for college students at their local Museum of Science. No sane college student would pass up anything free. It’s a lifestyle that probably explains how Jaemin amassed his comically large collection of reusable water bottles from various religious organizations on campus that he most definitely doesn’t belong to.
Thus, instead of attending a sweaty frat party or even throwing one of their rather concerningly frequent wine and whine nights, the boys find themselves wandering through wings of optical illusions and simple machines.
Free is a powerful word indeed.
They start off as a group, collectively messing around with the heat sensing cameras in the thermodynamics exhibit and shrieking as Donghyuck pushes Jisung down a zip line at full speed in the mechanical physics room. Slowly, though, they split off.
It starts with Jaemin and the food sciences wing. Donghyuck argues with the decision just to be difficult, but they all know he’ll go with Jaemin no matter what. Chenle, however, wrinkles his nose because apparently nutrition and portion sizes and stuff are the most boring things in the entire museum. The entire group-- besides Chenle-- all seem to come to the same conclusion at the same time as they blurt out, “Jisung will go with you!”
Chenle looks a little startled, but grins brightly at Jisung and takes his hand to tug him to one of the nature exhibits, talking his ear off the whole way.
Jeno doesn’t particularly care about what he does next, so he’s content to leave Jisung and Chenle to their own devices, shooting a soft smile in Jisung’s direction. Jisung looks a little sweatier than he was a few minutes ago, but he grips Chenle’s hand right back and Jeno is confident that they’ll be just fine.
Third wheeling Donghyuck and Jaemin doesn’t sound appealing to begin with, but actually being stuck doing it is even worse than Jeno could imagine.
Jeno rereads the daily diet of a man in Tibet for the third time in a row, trying to tune out the sounds of Jaemin bickering with Donghyuck over the abundance of sodium in the meal plan they’re creating in one of the exhibit’s games. Jeno, not really interested in participating in whatever weird academic foreplay the two are engaging in, quickly makes his escape into the dinosaur exhibit next door.
He wanders around by himself for a little while, playing with the fossil excavation table at the side of the room. He realizes it’s probably for little kids, but it’s still fun to unearth plastic fossils from the dirt even if he’ll be digging sand out from under his nails for the rest of the night.
Jeno flips through digital recreations of various dinosaurs and listens to a recording of an archaeologist explaining their craft, but quickly grows bored. He strolls down a few winding hallways, past the exhibits on bird flight and nanotechnology, before stumbling into a dimly lit room.
Images of glowing galaxies hang on the far wall, depicting various types of galactic clusters. The vivid hues are almost fluorescent in the dark, enchanting purples and blues casting bright colors across the walls. Small models of planets in the solar system are dotted throughout the room, complete with lengthy information plaques and even a lit up Earth model for size comparison.
Jeno smiles at the star patterned carpet as he examines the part of the exhibit closest to him. It’s a series of boxes with pinpricks of light scattered throughout each one. The first is easily recognizable, displaying the solar system.
Jeno presses the button at the bottom of the box, and the Earth lights up in a pretty red color. The next box, representing the interstellar neighborhood, has a glowing dot to indicate the solar system. The scale keeps moving up through the galaxy, local group, supercluster, and finally the observable universe. They’re still just a tiny red dot amongst the millions of others. Jeno tilts his head, a contemplative huh rumbling in the back of his throat.
The distant crackle of a microphone pulls him from his existential spiral, and Jeno gratefully steps toward the noise. Right before he rounds the corner, a honey smooth voice suddenly comes within earshot, nearly tripping Jeno over his own feet. He stops, eyes blinking wide.
“So these big clouds of elements started collapsing, eventually leading to the formation of all the fun and funky objects we have today-- like our lovely little planet Earth!”
Jeno peeks around the corner. There’s a small, casual stage tucked into this corner of the exhibit, with rows of seats laid out in front of it. A large screen hangs at the back of the platform, currently broadcasting a slideshow of different types of celestial objects. Towards the right, a large replica of an asteroid sits perched on a table next to some scattered rocks and what look to be gift shop gemstones.
Buttercup yellow lights illuminate the tiny boy pacing back and forth across the stage, dressed neatly in the museum’s navy blue uniform and talking animatedly towards the crowd. His voice is sweet and gentle despite how loud he’s projecting, and his excitement for the topic bleeds into his tone. His arms sweep out in grand movements as he explains the formation of planets and behavior of asteroid belts.
Jeno doesn’t realize how long he’s been standing there, heart beating in his throat, until a few teenagers walk in behind him and head towards their friends in the back row. With a jolt, Jeno finds his feet carrying him further into the room.
This close to the stage, he can easily see the pale pink color of the presenter’s hair. It brushes over his eyes, shaggy enough at the sides for him to habitually tuck it back behind his ear every few minutes. His eyes are alight with a passion Jeno would have never fathomed could be harbored towards the chemical components of space objects. His pretty lips split into a wide grin every time he cracks a joke. Jeno swallows hard as he tries not to let his gaze linger there.
“If you’ve gotten this far with me, you’ll probably agree that space rocks,” using the clicker in his hand, the speaker flips to the next slide, “but really-- space rocks!”
The top of the screen now boasts the heading, “Space Rocks: Meteors, Meteoroids, Meteorites, Oh My!”. Below it is a comic depicting two dinosaurs sitting on a picnic blanket at night, watching the infamous meteor streak across the sky. One of the dinosaurs has a speech bubble next to it that says, “Make a wish, Kevin!”
The audience laughs. Jeno laughs too, but maybe a bit too hard, if the awkward stares from the teenagers next to him are anything to go by.
The presenter beams at them, bowing comedically and firing off a quick, seemingly improvised line, “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here next week, too. My coworkers didn’t find this half as funny as I did, so I’m glad you all have a sense of humor!”
Jeno laughs again, but he’s the only one this time. He shrinks into his seat a little, red burning at the tips of his ears as he avoids looking at the stage. The presenter chugs along with his speech, completely unaware of Jeno’s sudden crisis.
Jeno squishes his warming cheeks in his hands, brows furrowing. What the fuck has come over him?
When he looks back toward the stage, the speaker is digging around in the pocket of his apron, which is studded with cute glow in the dark stars and planet themed buttons. He pulls out a little glass bead, holding it up to the light. It’s a pretty, icy blue, with flecks of white and small craters dotting it.
“Now, does anyone know the three main types of space rocks we’re gonna talk about?” His eyes scan across the audience, and Jeno tries not to deflate when his gaze passes right over Jeno. What was he expecting? He didn’t have his hand raised, or anything.
Suddenly, Jeno’s hand is in the air.
The speaker makes eye contact with him this time, but ends up calling on a small girl in the second row. Jeno pulls a classic smooth guy move and plays off his raised hand by casually running his fingers through his hair. Nice save, Jeno.
Inwardly, he sighs in relief because he didn’t actually know the answer. He never paid attention in eighth grade astronomy class, a move that he never expected would bite him in the ass one day, but alas. At least it saved him from making a bad first impression on the guy.
Not that it matters. What?
The girl answers correctly, and the presenter wades into the audience to hand her the bead with a bright smile. Jeno is not jealous. He’s not.
“That’s right! Comets, asteroids, and meteoroids, these babies are just everywhere let me tell you…”
The rest of the show passes in a blur of pretty pink hair and laughter like bells and many, many space puns. Jeno is kind of breathless by the end of it, even though logically, it’s really just rocks. It’s a show about rocks, it’s nothing mind blowing, and yet Jeno finds himself genuinely frustrated that he got there late.
When the presenter draws himself up from his deep bow, thanking the audience generously, the stage lights catch on a name tag Jeno hadn’t noticed before.
Renjun.
The screech of a microphone shakes Jeno out of his head yet again. When his eyes refocus on the stage, the presenter-- Renjun-- is wrestling his microphone off the side of his cheek and powering down the projector. The screen clicks and whirrs as it retracts into the ceiling. Eyes blown wide, Jeno realizes he’s the last attendee in the room.
“Thanks for coming! Have a good night.” Renjun calls to him pleasantly, and Jeno feels his face go up in flames. Fuck.
“Uh, yeah. Nice talki-- I mean, good show. It’s a good show.” Jeno wipes his hands on his jeans nervously, tucking them into his pockets as casually as possible. He bobs his head for a few beats before mumbling, “Cool rocks.”
Renjun offers him an amused smile as he continues to pack up his props, “Thanks, I think so too.”
Jeno nearly jumps out of his skin as the museum issues a twenty minute closing warning. He nods weakly at Renjun and not-so calmly walks himself out of the astronomy exhibit, past the bird flight and nanotechnology wings, through the dinosaur displays, straight past Donghyuck and Jaemin making out behind a gargantuan model of plate of proper portion sizes, beyond the front desk, and deposits himself on the curb outside.
His friends find him there eventually, all exchanging nervous looks at his flustered state. Donghyuck waves a hand over Jeno’s face, “Uh, Jeno? You in there, buddy?”
“What happened to him?” Jaemin sidles up to them, another reusable water bottle in hand. Jeno squints at it. He can’t tell if it’s new, but the way Jaemin tracks his gaze and hides the offending object behind his back is evidence enough. They’ll stage an intervention for him one day. Maybe.
Jeno opens his mouth, and then closes it because what is he supposed to say? Truly, what the fuck. In the end, all he can manage is a mournful, “Did you know that asteroids can have moons? Because I do. I really do.”
He stares at his hands, unable to get the image of the enthusiastic Renjun out of his head. Stupid pretty boy with the nice voice teaching Jeno about things he couldn’t care less about before tonight but suddenly wants to dedicate his life to becoming an accomplished scholar in.
Stupid Jeno.
Chenle laughs uncomfortably. “Okaaay, then. I guess I’m calling the Uber home.”
☾
It’s Sunday again and Jeno is bored.
Chenle is busy cramming for his organic chemistry midterm, Jisung is occupied with his late night job at the library, and Jaemin and Donghyuck are doing...God knows what. Jeno didn’t really want to ask.
Model student Jeno had finished his immediate homework by early morning for the first time in probably his whole life, and finds himself totally at a loss for things to do. Knees pulled up to his chest, he pushes off his desk and spins in lazy circles on his office chair.
After making himself sufficiently motion sick, Jeno is out of ideas for entertainment. He’s too restless to start a movie, too distracted to concentrate on a video game or a book, too energized for a nap.
The chair squeaks in protest as he leans back and stretches his arms towards the ceiling. He studies the holes dotting the tiles above him for a moment. It vaguely reminds him of something.
Heaving out a sigh, Jeno hauls himself up. Maybe some fresh air would do him good.
After a moment of hesitation, he throws his embroidery hoop and a few spools of thread into his school bag before heading out of the dorm. The late afternoon air is crisp against Jeno’s skin as he wanders down the city streets. Perhaps he’ll find a nice spot to sit and embroider for a while, or he could get ahead on his reading for the week.
Jeno finds himself standing under the massive dinosaur statue in front of the Museum of Science.
“Fuck,” he groans loudly, and then quickly checks to make sure no children were within earshot.
It’s fine. Lots of students come to the museum to study or work on projects for class. It’s totally not weird for Jeno to go and walk around for a little while. Plus, he could’ve sworn he saw a comfy couch in the engineering of music exhibit last time that could be suitable for curling up on.
Jeno vigorously shakes his head to clear his thoughts of pretty pink hair and sparkly eyes. The woman in line next to him shuffles a few cautious steps away.
It’s not a free admission night, but college students do get a sweet discount, so Jeno doesn’t feel too bad about actually spending money for once. It’s not that much, and it’ll be worth it. Hopefully.
After paying for his ticket and getting his hand stamped, Jeno starts by walking through the exercise science room. There’s a few fun simulators that he plays around on, like one that tests grip strength and another that mimics skiing, but he moves on quickly.
Jeno can feel the restlessness melt away the more he explores the museum. He messes around on the musical stairs, trying to find the right combination of steps to make it play out Replay by SHINee. After underestimating the jump between two notes in the chorus and nearly faceplanting down the entire flight of stairs, Jeno decides, completely unrelated, to gracefully remove himself from that wing of the museum.
And thus, Jeno finds himself in front of the astronomy exhibit yet again.
A few plush chairs and couches are set up in the front room. Despite the low lighting, Jeno figures it looks like a comfy enough spot to settle down. Well, the chairs don’t look that nice, but he’s already here, so it can’t hurt to stay a while.
Jeno pulls out his embroidery kit first. It’s a new hobby, and something he isn’t sure he’ll stick with. He had helped his father sew a button back onto his shirt over the summer and the repetitive movements were relaxing as hell, so he decided to try out embroidering for fun. It’s the little things in life sometimes.
Tongue sticking out slightly, Jeno squints at his embroidery needle as he struggles to thread it with an emerald green. Donghyuck had requested a picture of a turtle on a skateboard saying Holy shit! to hang up in their suite’s bathroom. Jeno kind of hates the idea, but he likes Donghyuck most of the time and figures it’s the least he can do to repay his best friend after that time Jeno drank straight fireball out of a saucepan and made Donghyuck rescue him from the top of a tree.
Time passes peacefully, Jeno squishing his cheek against the back of the couch as he works. He almost has the turtle’s sunglasses done when an announcement rings through the room.
“Attention, guests! Our Everything About Space: Rocks! show will be starting in five minutes.”
Jeno freezes, eyes shooting towards the stage room. He stares at the turtle. The turtle stares back.
It’s not creepy, it’s not creepy, Jeno convinces himself as he shoves the turtle’s seemingly all-knowing sunglasses deep into his bag, I just happened to be in the area, and I paid for a ticket to be here, and maybe I just feel very strongly about the composition of asteroids. Plus, it might not even be him again.
It’s him again.
“Fuck.” Jeno groans, but the smack of his hand slapping over his mouth is far louder than the curse word. None of the children in the room seem to have noticed, and he sighs deeply. He’s got to be better about controlling his college mouth.
However, when his eyes drift up to the stage, it looks like Renjun is holding back a laugh.
Jeno bites back another curse. When he goes to find a seat he resists the urge to bury his head between his knees and never look up again.
He does, of course. With Renjun there, how could he not?
The boy seems to have retouched the pink in his hair, as it shines a little brighter than last time even with the stage lights bathing him in a cool glow. There are about the same number of attendees as Jeno remembers, perhaps a few less. He’s sure more will come by once the show starts, but the amount of people doesn’t seem to affect Renjun’s passion for the subject, as he bounces around on stage ready to start.
Renjun carries himself like he could speak enthusiastically about his goddamn grocery list to an empty room. The worst part is that Jeno would still eagerly listen.
Renjun checks his watch before clapping his hands, the audience falling silent in front of him. With a bright grin, he gestures to the screen behind him and kicks off the show.
“So, how many of you have heard of a funky little event called the Big Bang? No, not the television show! The Big Bang the reason why we’re all here, and it gets pretty crazy…”
It’s the same presentation as the first one Jeno caught, but he’s grateful he can listen to the whole show this time. Even after the first few segments are covered and the script starts becoming more and more familiar to him, Jeno can’t bring himself to mind. He’s captivated by Renjun no matter what.
Renjun on stage is a force to be reckoned with. Even if it’s only a minor show and probably a minimum wage job, he speaks with genuine pride, fascination sparkling in his eyes.
Despite the late hour, there are a few small children in the audience. Renjun adjusts his tone accordingly, choosing some slightly simpler words and breaking down some of the concepts into more digestible chunks than Jeno remembers from last time. He does a wonderful job at engaging with and encouraging the kids, speaking with such grandeur about the vastness of the universe that anyone would find themselves dreaming of a new career path.
Jeno wonders if Renjun realizes that the same wide-eyed amazement in the kids’ faces is reflected in Renjun’s own eyes.
“We’re learning new things about the universe every single day, and materials like these,” Renjun lovingly pats the asteroid replica, “are incredible windows into the mysterious great unknown. I hope the next time you look up at the night sky, you take a moment to wonder. I know I will!” Renjun laughs and dips his head in appreciation.
A thoughtful look crosses his face, and he snaps his fingers in realization, “Oh! And we’re running a new show about how galaxies merge. It will be every Thursday at 5 p.m and run by yours truly, so feel free to stop by if that tickles your fancy more than space rocks.” Renjun grins, one hand coming up to clutch at his chest dramatically, “Though, I can’t imagine anything more enthralling than astrogeology, but maybe that’s just me!”
I can, Jeno thinks weakly. His eyes have been riveted to the stage for so long that the bright lights have burned into his vision, creating a soft halo around Renjun’s silhouette.
The show ends far too soon, Renjun receiving a large round of applause that he blushes profusely at. He hangs around the cozy little area to answer some questions, occasionally handing out his work email so he can get back to those with questions he didn’t know how to answer off the top of his head.
This time, Jeno doesn’t wait an awkwardly long time to exit, and files out with the bulk of the crowd. There’s a certain lightness to his steps as he exits the museum, the uneasiness in his bones settled and the embroidery in his bag half finished and his heart fluttering, just a little.
Jeno groans as he unlocks his phone for the first time since Renjun opened his mouth and is bombarded by several whiny texts and missed calls from his friends. He rubs at his temple tiredly. They are definitely going to grill him about where he disappeared to for the whole day.
Maybe if he buys another water bottle for Jaemin at the gift shop he’ll keep his mouth shut. Unlikely, but worth a shot.
Quietly, Jeno marks off Thursday, 5 p.m on his Google Calendar.
☾
“Where are you off to in such a rush?” Jaemin levels him with a teasing look, eyebrows twitching slightly.
Jeno freezes, one arm curled around his stack of books, papers, and various writing instruments as he prepares to sweep them into his bag in one grand motion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Donghyuck pops up on Jeno’s other side, making Jeno cringe back as the boy leans into his personal space with a critical eye, “You’re never this jumpy, Jen-Jen.” Donghyuck taps thoughtfully at his lip, “Ah, you must not have had your daily strawberry tart from the campus coffee shop! I know how you get when you’re sugar deprived. Want to come with me and Nana? We’re heading straight there.”
Jeno spares a nervous glance to his watch, which warns him that it’s nearly five o’clock. Their class had run a little later than usual, and he’s not sure he’ll make it to Renjun’s Thursday show on time at this rate.
Jaemin and Donghyuck follow his gaze, twin grins springing to their faces once they see the back of his hand. Jaemin snatches his hand, examining it closely. “Oh ho, look at all these little blue rockets! I didn’t know you had such a passion for science, Jeno.”
Jeno shoves the offending appendage deep into his sweatshirt pocket, flushing bright red. He knows the back of his hand is covered in stamps from the museum in various stages of fading. He always tries to stamp over the old one to erase the evidence of his frequent attendance for the past few weeks, but it’s harder than it looks.
“I-I’m busy. I’ll pass this time.” He stands quickly, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Behind him, he can hear Donghyuck drape himself over Jaemin, wailing dramatically about how Jeno has fallen into the clutches of young love, so hopelessly lovesick that he would dare turn down his beloved strawberry tart. There’s a loud thud that can only be Donghyuck hitting the floor after Jaemin shoved him off.
Jeno tightens his grip on his bag, rolling his eyes as he quickens his pace. He has no idea when they started catching on to the reason behind his regular little disappearances, but whatever. He’s got more than enough blackmail on the two of them from freshman year alone to shut them up.
The mid-afternoon sun greets him as he sprints after a passing bus. If he hurries, he can still make it.
☾
The museum becomes Jeno’s favorite place for more than one reason.
First, the lady at the front desk smiles at him now when he walks in. He could’ve sworn the college student discount was only for five dollars off, not ten, but the lady has a certain knowing look in her eye that he doesn't dare argue with.
Second, he can focus so well in the museum that he’s taken to studying in some of the quieter rooms. The abundance of academic information around him gets him into a proper studying mood, and the chatter of passing guests is just enough hustle and bustle for the atmosphere. When he gets stuck, he can get up and walk around, file away a few new fun facts for trivia night, and maybe play on the musical stairs a bit. He’s getting better.
Third, is, well. Third is Renjun. Big surprise.
Jeno’s favorite days are those where he arrives to the museum early, grinds out a lot of homework, and sits to embroider or read a book in one of the lounge areas until it’s time for one of Renjun’s shows. He’s committed most of the scripts to memory already, but Renjun’s soothing voice makes the words sound fresh every time. His enthusiasm never fails to inspire Jeno to keep working hard, even after a long day.
There are some nights where Renjun looks more exhausted than others, though it isn’t evident unless you pay close attention to him-- which Jeno does, of course.
On those nights, though his personality still shines bright, his voice sounds more strained than normal. A first time attendee wouldn’t tell the difference, but Jeno can. When he notices Renjun’s smile dim, he tries to shoot him an encouraging smile, two thumbs up, and maybe even mouth a, “Fighting!” in his direction.
Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but Jeno swears Renjun perks up just a bit afterwards.
Every so often Jeno will stumble upon a presentation lead by someone else during his exploration time. He usually hangs around to listen, but just once. The topics are interesting, sure, but he just doesn’t feel that tug in his chest that drives him to come back again and again.
Regrettably, Jeno is still a person with a life and thus can’t make it to every single presentation, especially as his workload increases at school. Sometimes, after missing a few shows in a row, he swears Renjun smiles a little wider when he sees him again.
It’s one of the days where Jeno feels like wandering.
He’d finished his work for the day early, but decided to walk around instead of heading to the astronomy exhibit early and camping out with his embroidery. Hopefully a walk will settle the nervousness swirling in his chest.
He’s going to do it. He’s going to approach Renjun tonight.
It doesn’t have to be anything too ambitious, he’s not going to walk up and propose or anything; hopefully he doesn’t fuck up that bad. Jeno just wants to tell Renjun how much he enjoys his shows, and admires his enthusiasm for what he’s passionate about and how he can easily command a crowd, and wonders what it would be like to see his eyes sparkle from across the table on a date, and--
Aw, fuck.
Jeno groans as he sets the sifting tray down a little harder than necessary. He doesn’t realize he’s scowling as he furiously rubs dirt off the fake gemstones and fossils in the wooden tray until the employee supervising the exhibit gently asks him if he’s okay. He shoots her a tight smile and retreats from the counter.
He paces up and down the hallway, mentally pouring out his concerns to the hollow dinosaur skeletons constructed around him. He doesn’t want to come off as creepy, even though he’s pretty sure Renjun has noticed him becoming a regular at his shows, often greeting him with a small smile and a wave.
Still. Jeno doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize how much time has passed. Jeno catches a glimpse of his watch when he moves to run his fingers through his hair for the thousandth time, and his heart leaps into his throat.
5:07 p.m blinks at him sweetly.
“Shit!” Jeno nearly trips over his feet as he pivots in the middle of his aggressive pacing. “I’m late!”
He starts off at a sprint towards the other end of the museum before remembering his manners. Instead, he adopts the fastest brisk walk in his skillset and thanks his lucky stars that he’s committed most of the museum’s layout to memory. It shouldn’t take him too long to get there.
Jeno bursts in more conspicuously than intended, chest heaving and a bead of sweat slipping down the side of his forehead. He’s caught in the doorway for a second, gaze glued to Renjun’s face.
There’s a small crease between Renjun’s brows, features slightly downcast, that smooths out as soon as he makes eye contact with Jeno. He raises an eyebrow at him and hides a giggle behind his hand at Jeno’s rather disheveled state. Jeno hastily makes his way towards an open seat, a blush burning furiously over his cheeks. He tells himself it’s because of the adrenaline from the sprint over.
What else would it be?
Jeno settles himself in for another cozy evening as Renjun’s soothing voice fills the small space. Though he tries his best to give the presentation his full attention, even if he could mouth along to the script at this point, there’s a nervous haze hanging over him that blurs it all out. He can feel the back of his neck grow hot, his clammy palms slipping against the fabric of his jeans, and the flickers of anxiety twisting in his chest.
All too soon, Renjun is giving his closing greetings and Jeno’s heart is lodged so far up his throat he can feel his pulse beating at the roof of his mouth.
Other attendees start filtering out of the room as Renjun reaches over to turn off the projector. There aren’t any people hanging around for questions today, and Jeno curses the lack of a buffer as he hauls himself up on trembling legs. Why did he decide to do this again?
Jeno’s lungs feel shriveled and snarled around his ribcage, chest not expanding nearly enough to get him a proper breath. He stands at the foot of the stage with glazed over eyes, hands clasped in front of him as he struggles to find his voice. It shouldn’t be hard, just a simple thank you would do for now. He swallows once, then twice.
This is a terrible idea. He turns to leave, but a voice stops him in his tracks.
“Hi! Can I help you with something?”
Suddenly, Jeno is hyper aware of the dirt lodged under his fingernails from the dinosaur exhibit. He cringes and clasps them behind his back, an unintentionally loud clap echoing through the empty room. Renjun looks a little startled, but he’s still smiling oh-so sweetly down at Jeno, who can feel the already scarce moisture in his throat completely dry up.
“Um,” Jeno croaks, shifting his weight back and forth. Renjun’s eyes follow the movements before flickering back up to his face. The boy brushes his hands off on his decorated smock before fiddling with one of the pins near his nametag.
Jeno blinks. It almost looks like there’s a dusting of pink across Renjun’s cheeks, but it’s probably just the stage lights. Right?
“So, I was wondering, um…” He draws in a deep breath, mustering up every scattered scrap of courage that he can feel fluttering in a frenzy in his chest. He’s halfway through the sentence, he can do this, just a few more words--
Then he meets Renjun’s gaze and all he can hear is static.
“Where do comets come from?”
Renjun’s face visibly falls, his smile straining into that of a polite customer service employee. Jeno audibly smacks both hands into his forehead because Renjun covered that, like, so many times in the presentation and now Jeno just looks like an idiot and a creep who hasn’t listened to a word out of Renjun’s mouth, and, fuck.
“Fuck,” Jeno says plainly, his life flashing before his eyes as Renjun opens his mouth to answer, shoulders drooping. “They can come from the Kuiper belt past Neptune’s orbit or the Oort cloud between Neptune and Pluto that surrounds the whole solar system. You mentioned that, I-- I was listening. Promise.”
Jeno wants to launch himself into the goddamn Oort cloud.
“That’s right,” Renjun’s frame relaxes a bit, his smile growing fonder. “Glad I could help, um…?” He tilts his head, eyebrows lifting meaningfully.
“Oh. Jeno! My name, I mean. It’s Jeno. Hi.” Jeno runs his words together in one big breath, and then flashes a peace sign. For some reason. God help him.
Renjun’s shoulders shake with barely restrained laughter. “I’m Renjun. Let me know if you have any more questions, okay?”
Jeno nods mutely and lifts a hand in a vague goodbye. His consciousness had evidently detached from the conversation long ago and was probably astral projecting into the giant asteroid replica that Renjun had yet to put away. He’s kind of envious, honestly.
Jeno is in the middle of executing the most dignified desperate escape possible when Renjun calls out to him, voice pitched up at the end with uncertainty.
“See you next week?”
Jeno careens into one of the audience seats in his rush to turn around. Renjun is still on stage, pink hair casting him in an angelic glow. He looks incredibly small, up there all alone as the stage lights dim, leaving him in a perfect little spotlight before winking out entirely.
With both his forehead and knee throbbing, Jeno thinks of his two upcoming projects, one and a half essays, three study groups, and twelve chapters of reading that he has to finish in the next week. However, there’s really only one answer to Renjun’s question, and so he makes a quick apology to future Jeno who has to deal with the consequences of his words and squeaks out a dizzy, “Y-Yeah, of course!”
There’s a bit of relief to Renjun’s smile, and Jeno feels his face go up in flames. He offers him the most nonchalant wave he can muster before heading on his way once again. At least when he walks straight into the wall, Renjun only giggles at him a little bit.
(It’s a cute giggle, though.)
(Jeno is so fucked.)
☾
“New project? Who’s that for?” Chenle tucks his chin over Jeno’s shoulder, watching him absentmindedly embroider.
Jeno blinks, pulling his head from the clouds. His new embroidery hoop is littered with little stars, planets, and embarrassingly enough, hearts.
Some of the designs would look pretty cute as a patch...perhaps for a jacket, or a backpack, or a certain star studded smock--
“No one.” Jeno whines, letting his head smash into the table in front of him. Jisung pats his back pityingly.
☾
It’s the Sunday before winter break, and most people are hunkering indoors due to the incoming snow.
Donghyuck is one of those people, except he refuses to hunker inside his own goddamn room. Instead, he’s snuggled deep into Jaemin’s comforter, cuddling one of Jaemin’s numerous grotesquely oversized bunny plushies that haunt their room.
Jeno sighs fondly. Donghyuck keeps claiming that he’ll just shove Jaemin off his own bed once he comes home and tries to get cozy, but Jeno is fully aware that they’re just gonna bicker and cuddle and watch a Marvel movie or something.
Jeno throws on a third layer before bundling himself all the way up in his fluffiest winter coat. He looks ridiculous, as Donghyuck so kindly points out to him every three minutes, but the weather is due to turn bad soon and he still has quite the commute to the museum to make.
He’s pawing through his drawers to find his warmest beanie when Donghyuck’s needy complaining finally cuts off, appeased by the sound of the door.
“Nana! You’re so late I was about to have a romantic movie date with your stuffed animals instead.”
“Ah, I always knew Fluffkins would be my competition one day,” Jaemin teases, stamping his shoes off on their welcome mat. There’s a thin layer of snow coating him, and he shakes it from his hair like a dog. Jeno ages several years watching clumps of snow get flung onto their walls, but he’ll live. Probably.
“Before I forget!” Jaemin wiggles himself out of his coat with one hand, the other clutching a slightly damp brown paper bag. “I knew you’d be rushing off to your...thing...and probably wouldn’t want to brave the storm even more, so I did you a favor.”
Jaemin’s grin looks a little too sharp to be trusted, but the bag has the logo of Jeno’s favorite coffee shop on it and he’s absolutely zeroed in on it. He grabs the bag, licking his lips in anticipation of the glorious strawberry tart that most definitely awaits him, “Thank you, Jaemin! What would I do without…”
The bag feels a little heavier than normal. Jeno peeks inside, jaw dropping with an affronted gasp.
“Why the fuck are there two in here you little demon--”
Before Jeno can protest, Jaemin has shoved the bag into his chest and pushed him out the door with a diabolical laugh and a, “If you can’t eat them both, I’m suuure you can find a cute boy to share with!”
The door slams shut behind him, and Jeno is left in the chilly hallway with eyes as wide as saucers. The audacity of his best friends. Really.
He rolls his eyes, but still tucks the bag into his jacket to shield it from the storm as he hurries toward the museum. With the extra time built in to accommodate for the icy roads, he manages to make it there well before Renjun’s show is due to start.
Jeno wastes an embarrassing amount of time pacing in front of the dinosaurs again. They’re probably quite tired of Jeno’s shit by now, or at least the singular employee in the lonely exhibit must be, but he can’t quite bring himself to care.
He clutches the bag in his hand a little tighter. The top of it is horribly creased from his nervous habit of rolling and unrolling it.
It shouldn’t be this hard to strike up a conversation with Renjun. All he has to do is give a friendly greeting and offer the snack, and then he can run and hide behind the giant portion plate or something and pretend it never happened.
Jeno steels himself for exactly two minutes before deflating.
“I can’t do this.” He collapses onto a couch just outside the astronomy exhibit, dejected. With a pout forming on his lips, he resigns himself to stuffing both pastries in his face like the sad little lump of a college student he is. He just stares at them for a while, unfocused gaze cast down towards the patterned carpet.
It’s probably close to eight, which is when Renjun’s Sunday show starts. Before he can move, however, a pair of shoes comes into his vision.
“Is this seat taken?”
Jeno’s mother had always told him how impolite it is to stare, but he just can’t help it when faced with Renjun. The boy is dressed in his normal crisp uniform, complete with his astronomy smock, but the microphone is missing from his cheek. His hands are fiddling at his pins again, and a smile breaks through Jeno’s shocked exterior at the obvious nervous habit.
“Go right ahead.” Jeno unrolls the bag. Renjun beams at him, sitting down next to him. His feet don’t quite reach the ground, and he swings his legs back and forth a bit. It’s really cute. Jeno swallows hard, searching for something to say, but Renjun beats him to it.
“Don’t you get tired of hearing the same presentation each week?”
“Hghg?” Jeno chokes on his spit, but quickly recollects himself, “I mean...I don’t know, do you get tired of giving it?”
Renjun studies him for a moment, head angled to see Jeno better. He shrugs, relaxing back into the couch with a small laugh. “Fair point. I don’t get tired, though, because it’s a field I really like. Why do you keep coming back, though? You like space rocks that much?”
Renjun is obviously teasing him, but Jeno can’t help the all too honest answer that bursts from his lips, “Well, when you talk about them...yeah.”
That shocks them both into silence, twin blushes burning up the tips of their ears.
“You’re really not bored?” Renjun’s flustered words are high pitched and a little unsure, so Jeno fixes him with his most reassuring grin and decides to stand by his words.
“By you? Never.”
A content smile plays on Renjun’s lips. He crosses his arms playfully, lips jutting out in a cute pout. Jeno tries really hard not to stare. He really tries. It’s a short lived effort.
“W-Well then you could at least participate when I ask the audience questions!” Renjun raises an eyebrow at him, “I know you know all the answers by now, but it’s still better than silence.”
“Sorry. I was shy.”
Renjun laughter is like twinkling stars. “You don’t say.”
They sit in comfortable silence for a little while until Renjun starts humming a soft tune. Jeno stares at the paper bag in his hand. They’re probably a little cold, and perhaps a bit soggy from the weather, but it’s worth a shot.
“Do you like strawberry?”
Renjun blinks, staring at the offered pastry. Jeno wilts a little, already cringing at himself and retracting his outstretched arm. At the last moment, Renjun smiles and reaches for the dessert. “I love strawberry. Thank you!”
Their fingers graze when Renjun accepts the snack. Jeno tries to force the flush away from his cheeks, but he’s pretty sure he hasn’t succeeded judging on how Renjun keeps stealing glances at him.
Jeno keeps brushing at his mouth worriedly, unsure if he’s getting strawberry tart crumbs all over his face or something. Renjun’s eyes seem to linger on the movement.
They munch quietly, Renjun’s feet still swinging lazily. After a few minutes, Jeno pipes up. “Oh, doesn’t your show start soon? I don’t want to make you late…”
It’s Renjun’s turn to blush, scratching sheepishly at the back of his neck, “To be honest, Jeno, we cancelled tonight’s show due to weather and predicted low attendance.”
A small noise of surprise rumbles in the back of Jeno’s throat. His eyes dart all around the exhibit, but Renjun is right. There isn’t a single soul wandering around, and Jeno can barely remember encountering two or three other guests on his trip over. He was a little too caught up in his thoughts to notice how empty all the halls were.
“But...you’re still here?”
“So are you.” Renjun shrugs cooly, but his fingers grip his pastry a little too hard.
Jeno hums in acknowledgement. They chatter back and forth, both unable to hold back smiles as the air between them warms.
“Is astronomy really your favorite exhibit? I mean not that it isn’t wonderful and slightly scarily existential, but the baby chicks are just so cute every time!”
“I like the dinosaurs, actually,” Renjun grins, “though I can never quite get that dirt out from under my nails.”
Jeno’s eyes immediately shoot to his own fingernails. “Listen, I don’t care if the gem excavation counter is for kids, I’ve never felt pride like the day I got the rarest gem!”
“The black opal?!” Renjun whistles appreciatively, “Now that’s an accomplishment! Even if it’s, like, the fake gift shop plastic version. That still takes a lot of tries.”
“Well, I’m here a lot. As you...definitely have noticed by now.” Jeno rubs the back of his neck, and Renjun smiles.
Jeno offers to walk Renjun to his car when the museum sounds it’s closing announcements. Renjun accepts gratefully.
When Jeno slips on the black ice outside and Renjun is there to tug him back on his feet, he ends up holding on just a bit tighter than he needs to. And if their hands remain linked all the way back to Renjun’s car, they don’t say a word.
It isn’t until Renjun has his hand on his door that he remembers something, fishing his phone out from his fluffy jacket. Jeno tries once, twice, three times to input his number in the midst of the falling snow, but he can’t be too frustrated when Renjun laughs like that, snowflakes caught in his eyelashes and cute scrunched nose bitten red from the wind.
“Hey, Jeno? It’s so close to the holidays, why did you come tonight? Shouldn’t you be heading home?”
Jeno blinks the snow out of his eyes. Standing like this, he can see how tiny Renjun really is, all wrapped up in a puffy white coat like a marshmallow.
He doesn’t know how to tell Renjun that there’s nowhere else he’d rather be, but he has a feeling he’ll have plenty of time to tell him later. He smiles, handing Renjun his own phone. “I’m staying in the area for break, actually.”
Renjun’s smile shines so bright in the moonlight that Jeno feels his breath stutter in his chest. He finishes typing his number into Jeno’s phone and hands it back with a tilt of his head, pale pink hair falling into his eyes. “So am I. Want to get lunch sometime?”
Jeno smiles as their hands find each other again.
“I’d love that.”
☾
Winter break passes in a blur of linked pinkies, nearly broken ankles during ice skating, hot chocolate with too much whipped cream, pancakes for dinner, stargazing on clear nights, and Renjun, Renjun, Renjun.
When the semester starts up again, Jeno finally caves and buys a membership pass to the museum. He chats with the lady at the front desk, who grins at his ID and is more than forthcoming with all the information on how Injunnie saw the cutest boy show up at his show one day and never shut up about him again!
It was Jeno. Jeno holds this over Renjun’s head for months, despite Jeno’s attendance at all of Renjun’s shows like a lovesick puppy being infinitely more embarrassing. Still. It’s the thought that counts.
He even buys Jaemin that goddamn gift shop water bottle. Jaemin and Donghyuck both cried at the gift, but for very different reasons.
Jeno attends each and every one of Renjun’s shows and mouths along to the script. He raises his hand to answer Renjun’s questions-- so often, in fact, that he has a puppy themed pencil case, courtesy of Jaemin, that he uses to collect all the prize marbles. They look like comets, streaked with icy blues and whites. He likes to take one to carry in his pocket when he misses Renjun, relishing in the comforting weight of the smooth glass.
He takes Renjun on very romantic food court dates during his dinner breaks, and they’ve gotten exceptionally good at the musical stairs. It turns out that SHINee songs are way easier to play with two sets of legs.
And, okay. Maybe Renjun has developed a teeny tiny habit of ending his shows a little early and kissing Jeno against the wall of the projector room while the outro video plays, but no one really needs to know that.
Renjun tastes like strawberries, and Jeno can’t get enough.
Jeno smiles lazily as Renjun pulls back, admiring his swollen lips. He brushes his fingers over the new handmade patches on Renjun’s smock, little gifts from all the times Jeno has thought about Renjun when he’s not around.
He cups Renjun’s cheek in one hand, the other circling around his tiny waist, and brings him close.