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“Oh my god,” Kane snorts. “Are you sure this is your room?” Kane asks, grabbing some clothes from one of the chairs and looking around to see where to leave them.
“Give me that,” Jackson says, taking the clothes to leave them on the bed.
Kane looks around, grinning. This chaotic space full of clothes, books, and notebooks does not look like his usually perfectly ordered room.
“I’ve been busy,” Jackson says simply as if that explains everything.
“I can see that,” Kane nods, smiling.
Jackson grabs the different empty cans, crumbs, and wrappers from the desk and throws them into the bin in the corner. The place is still a mess but at least it's a cleaner mess. He can work with that for now.
Once the desk is tidy, Jackson signals for Kane to take a seat and looks for his book, notebook, markers, and pens in his backpack before taking a seat in the other chair on the other side of the long desk.
“Aren’t we gonna talk about it?” Kane raises his eyebrows, leaving his blue pen between his lips as he looks at Jackson.
“Talk about what exactly?” Jackson says, opening his book.
Kane snorts. “The elephant in the room, I guess.”
“The elephant?” Jackson asks, raising his eyebrows.
Kane rolls his eyes. “I mean your boyfriend, obviously.”
Jackson snorts. “No, that’s not... we don’t need to—We need to study. That’s what we need to do.”
“He doesn’t like me,” Kane shrugs. “I guess he even hates me.”
“No, he doesn’t hate you. But you’re right, he doesn’t like you,” Jackson shakes his head.
“It’s your fault, you know? You shouldn’t have told him what happened.”
Jackson frowns, both surprised and confused. “What do you mean?”
“He told me that you had told him what happened between us,” Kane clarifies.
“I see.” Jackson licks his lips. He can’t say he’s surprised. He suspected something had happened when he found them talking at the party but he didn’t want to push it later with questions.
“Well, actually no, you can’t blame me for that.” Jackson shakes his head. “This was all you. I hadn’t told him a word until Friday because I had forgotten about it and before, I was afraid of what could happen if he found out.”
“Then, why did you tell him?”
“Because he fucking asked me at the party.” Jackson raises his eyebrows.
“He asked you?” Kane frowns, confused.
“Yeah, he did.” Jackson licks his lips, shaking his head as he remembers that night.
“You absolutely fucked up when you met him.” Jackson continues. “He’s not used to people looking at him like you did—And he didn’t like it. Add to that shit that he thought you were kind of hot—”
“What?” Kane interrupts him. “He thought—”
“Yeah, he knew about you, obviously, but he hadn’t seen you and, as smart as he is, he’s also fucking jealous… and a little paranoid, I guess. So, he thought you didn’t like him because you like me… and then, proceeded to fire a battery of questions which he’s incredibly good at, by the way… so that’s why I ended up telling him the whole thing—I wouldn’t have told him if you hadn’t acted as you did.”
Kane stays silent as he realizes that Jackson is right. He’s the one to blame for this mess.
“I…” Kane sighs. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… you know... do that.” It sounds lame but that’s the truth. “It caught me by surprise I suppose.” Kane licks his lips.
“I honestly don’t know what happened…” Kane shrugs. “I guess he’s not what I expected… and believe me, I know how terrible that sounds.” Because it sounds bad but he doesn’t really know what he expected… all he knows is that it wasn’t that guy.
Jackson snorts and shakes his head. “Not what you expected?” Jackson raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah,” Kane nods. “Stupid. I know.”
“It really is,” Jackson nods. “You don’t know anything about him—He’s fucking amazing and you just… you know what?” Jackson shrugs. “Whatever… I just wanna forget about it.”
Kane is taken aback for a moment, just because that’s not what he expected to come out of Jackson’s mouth… not so much because of the adjective itself but mostly because Jackson never talks about Stiles. It’s true he hasn’t asked him anything else directly despite being curious, but it was mostly because he thought that Jackson didn’t want to and, after what happened with the kissing fiasco, he imagined that maybe it could be awkward.
The reality is that a long time has passed since then and their friendship is stronger, so maybe that’s why Jackson might feel more comfortable with that line of conversation.
Kane hesitates but he just can’t stop himself. He’s too curious. “Do you mind if I ask you what’s so amazing about him?”
Jackson doesn’t look at him at first, staring at the open book on the desk, and Kane wonders if maybe that wasn’t the best way to ask about that.
“Just curious… That’s all,” Kane says with sincerity.
Jackson stays silent and Kane is about to take it back when Jackson finally speaks.
“He knows me inside out… better than anybody else… and still wants to be with me.” Jackson licks his lips. “He’s not afraid to call me out on my bullshit which is something that well, I actually need from time to time. He also… he makes me laugh even when I don’t want to… and the thing is that he’s been through things that you can’t imagine and he’s always tried to see the positive side of everything—He never gives up…" Jackson shrugs, "because he’s fucking strong… much stronger than he thinks. Not to mention that he’s loyal and honest, and smart as shit—but that part, I think he actually knows.”
Kane nods, speechless for a moment. When he asked he didn’t expect so many things to come out of Jackson’s mouth. But that’s something that often happens with Jackson… Just when he thinks he knows him, he finds out new things about him.
“Yeah, I suppose that about covers it,” Jackson adds.
“I remember when you told me that we were too alike,” Kane says.
“It’s the truth,” Jackson says matter-of-factly as he nods.
“I know—But I think I didn’t fully get it until I met him,” Kane admits.
Jackson is not going to say it but he suspected that much.
“He’s the one who kissed me the first time, you know?”
“Really?” Kane raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah,” Jackson nods.
“Can I ask what happened?” Kane asks in the most nonchalant way he can manage, even if it’s obvious he couldn’t be more curious.
“You can,” Jackson snorts. “It’s not some big secret—We went to the cinema one day and he just went for it and kissed me.”
“Oh shit,” Kane smiles.
“Yes… After everything that happened... He was fucking brave. I had been thinking about it for weeks but I was too scared to do it.”
Kane almost says that it’s hard to imagine Jackson being scared of anything but he stays silent. Maybe if he speaks, Jackson could shut down and won’t share any more details.
“I was confused and scared to admit that I liked a guy.” Jackson shakes his head. “No. It was even worse than that. I was fucking scared to admit that I liked him. And given our history, I can only imagine how terrified he felt too. But it didn't stop him,” Jackson snorts, licking his lips as he remembers that day. “He doesn’t let anything stop him… which can be a problem sometimes… but it’s also the reason why things started between us, so yeah, that’s what I was trying to tell you that day when I said we were very different.”
Kane nods. “Yeah, you said I’d understand it if I met him… and I still don’t know him that well, but I must say that I do… now I know what you meant and I’m sorry if I caused any problem between you two.”
Jackson snorts. “It’s okay—It wasn’t as bad as you think. It’s what we do sometimes. We argue and then, we fix it.”
Kane bites his lip. “I barely saw you on Saturday. I guess you were fixing it all day.”
The implications behind Kane’s words are hard to miss.
Jackson licks his lips. “You’re seeing me now and we have a lot to do, so…” Jackson points at the book.
“God, I know,” Kane nods. “I just wanted to tell you that I regret what happened on Friday. And when he’s back, I’ll try to make things right with him, you know…”
“Look, I appreciate that but it doesn’t really matter. It might take a while until he’s got another free weekend and you’re not really the problem. The problem is distance and… this whole situation we’re in. And obviously, his stupid insecurities… so yeah, this time we argued about you but next time, it will probably be about somebody or something else.”
Kane nods. “Well, I think you’re really lucky. And just let me say that you two are hot together and his visit might have changed my mind about your long-distance relationship situation.” Kane shakes his head. “He fucking loves you, man. I admit I’m not-so-secretly jealous.”
Jackson stares at him and Kane can’t be sure of what he’s thinking. He just said all that without thinking but it’s the truth. He’s envious of what they have, so why lie about it?
“So, you think we’re hot,” Jackson smirks. “That’s interesting.”
Kane snorts. “I was simply stating the obvious. I’m not starting your fan club any time soon,” Kane smiles.
Jackson smiles wryly, shaking his head. “He doesn’t see himself that way, you know?” Things would be simpler if he did.
Jackson looks at his book, opens it, and looks for the lesson they have to read a few times today.
“As smart as he is, he can’t fucking see that.” Jackson shakes his head. “But anyway, you’ll have your chance to tell him those things… even get to know him… someday… but now—”
“Yeah, I know we have to read this shit.”
“At least, important shit,” Jackson offers.
“Still a shit,” Kane shakes his head, opening his book.