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Dick : Welcome to our Christmas Special for 2020. Today we have four very special guests, some of the most powerful players in the V league as well as bachelors for the taking, Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Kiyoomi, Bokuto Koutarou and Hinata Shouyou!
Atsumu : Hello! Merry Christmas guys! *waves at the camera before blowing a kiss
Sakusa : *nods and tries not to duck away
Bokuto : Hey hey hey what’s up people?! *some of the staff members may or may have not covered their ears at this point.
Hinata : Hi! Merry Christmas and thank you so much for your support this year! I hope that you all continue to support the MSBY Black Jackals next year! * some people internally dying from the amount of sunshine shining from the tangerine.
Dick : Alright folks! Tonight we have gathered some of the most discussed topics online and the fans have spoken! Tonight, we have gathered here to play a very interesting game. Are you boys up for the task.
Bokuto, Atsumu and Hinata : Bring it on!
Sakusa : Er….
Dick : Don’t worry! You don’t have to answer that, Sakusa-san! Now, tonight’s game is *epic drumroll as the name of the game was revealed on the screen, Kiss, Bed and Wed!
Bokuto : Oh oh oh! That’s gonna be so cool!
Dick : We’re gonna pick people from your volleyball journeys and see who you would like to pair up with. Of course, if it makes you too uncomfortable, we can stop but then again, all fun and games right?
Sakusa : Ok…
Atsumu : Come on, don’t be so prickly, Omi! It’s the holidays! Let’s have some fun here!
Hinata : Yay! Let’s get started!
Dick : Alrighty. We have a couple of rounds in this so let’s go with the first round. First up we have * three names appear on the screen: Kageyama Tobio of the Sweiden Adlers, Sugawara Koushi from Karasuno and Akaashi Keiji from the pretty setter squad, as dubbed online.
Atsumu : Wait a sec, am I not pretty?!
Sakusa : Are you that much of a vain piece of shit you want your name in it?
Atsumu : Omi! Cut me some slack!
Dick : Alright, have your picks. Write down the names of the people you would like to Kiss, Bed and Wed. and you have 20 seconds!
20 seconds later…
Dick : First up, we have Bokuto!
Bokuto : Man, this was really hard ahhhh…. I don’t really know Sugawara from Karasuno much so I guess I will go with kiss since it would be a one time thing. Oya, and for the bed and wed…. gahhh!!! Its so difficult to pick! Ok… let’s see. Forgive me for saying this, but I guess I will bed Kageyama since I don’t really wanna marry him but if I do marry someone, I can bed and be with them at the same time so that’s super cool!
Hinata : Bokuto-san, you’re a genius!
Atsumu : Wait, Bokkun, does that mean you will go for…
Bokuto : Akaashi Keiji, will you marry me?!
Sakusa : You two have been married for two years already.
Dick : Next up, Hinata!
Hinata : Ermmm…. This is so tough! Suga-san is super nice but I dunno if I wanna bed or wed him, he’s my senpai! Well… I guess I could just kiss him? And… sorry Bokuto-san, but do you mind if I bed Akaashi-san? I mean, not in real life, I just mean he’s really pretty and all but I don’t wanna steal him from you!
Bokuto : Haha, don’t worry my disciple, sharing is caring!
Sakusa : You did not just say that, didn’t you?
Hinata : I guess I will marry Kageyama since he’s such a boke and has been my partner on the court for so long and I couldn’t be here without him now * a few aws, including from the assembled cast rose into the air, Kageyama boke, marry me!
Dick : Is this a proposal I’m hearing?!
Atsumu : Shouyou, ya wound my heart!
Hinata : Sorry, Atsumu-san.
Bokuto : My baby disciple is all grown up.
Dick : Next stop we have Atsumu!
Atsumu : Hmm, Tobio pisses me off so I would just like to bed him and tear him to shreds. Suga-san seems to be pretty cool to marry, he’s Mr Refreshing after all. As for bed, gotta take Akaashi.
Dick : And last but not least.
Sakusa : Kiss, Suga. Marry Akaashi. Bed Kageyama.
@sugamama Why does no one wanna marry me?! *a lot of crying emoji
@dadchiofkarasuno Suga! Who dared tell you that? I’m going to arrest them and throw them into jail! No one touches you but me!
@sugamama Oh, is that a proposal?
@dadchiofkarasuno We’ve been married for years dumbass!
@asahidesign Guys everyone can see your interactions here.
@nyannyan1 Oya oya oya, I didn’t take for you to be so protective of him, Sawamura. Oh and if anyone wants a pic of them *sends a pic of the two of them kissing as Daichi threatens to murder him on the phone.
@blueberryprince Uh, what does it mean to bed someone?
Dick : And this is the first round done. Next up we have the captain’s edition! So the names are *drumroll Kuroo Tetsurou, Kita Shinsuke and Oikawa Tooru.
Atsumu : Man, why did the fans pick such hard names?!
20 seconds later…
Dick : And the results are *all players flipped their cards onto the table. First off to start is Hinata!
Hinata : Ok, so I guess I would kiss Kuroo-san since he looks pretty good. Kita-san seems to be the kind of person who can take care of me well and make sure I eat properly so marry. Oikawa-san I would bed since he would be so hot in it, I’m already thinking of those times in Brazil where I have thought of…
Atsumu : Holy shit, Shouyou! I thought you were pure!
Hinata : Not like you haven’t thought of that before, Atsumu-san!
Atsumu : So top or bottom?
This section of the interview has been censored due to sensitive content. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Bokuto : Well I’m no homo with my bro but I always thought it would be interesting to bed him *ponders for a bit. Kiss would be Oikawa since I don’t really know him and he sounds a bit loud and Kita I would marry?
Atsumu : Bed Kita, marry Kita, kiss Kita. *everyone stares at him for this
Atsumu : What?! Don’t tell me none of ya had a crush on him before? * no one raises their hands as Atsumu groans.
Atsumu : Fine fine! Marry Kita, bed Kuroo since why not, he’s so obnoxious I just want to shut him up by -
This section of the interview has been censored due to sensitive content. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Sakusa : Kiss Oikawa, he’s too noisy to be with all the time. Marry Kita since he can take care of me. Bed Kuroo.
Atsumu : Oya Omi omi, finally letting something within you awaken?
Sakusa : What, Miya? I mean he may be noisy and everything but I think that he might make a good partner.
Dick : I think I might have received a link from one of the fans asking you to read some of their work on Archive of our Own about the two of you. Apparently the ship name is Sakuroo. *Sakusa nearly faints at that but proceeds to check them out anyways afterwards.
@nyanyan1 OMG Sakusa-kun! You really wanna bed me?! I’m honoured!
@bouncingballCEO Kuroo, you’ve been whining about him since forever so go after him for now or I will make an entire Youtube video about you pining after him.
@nyannyan1 Kyanma! You’re not supposed to say that out loud. *Kenma proceeds to upload an entire video about the 20 reasons why Kuroo Tetsurou needed to man up and ask Sakusa out.
@sakuroo Sakuroo nation, we rise! Rise, my fellow shippers! Rise!!! The time has come for the ship to sail!
@newshipperforlife Kamisama, thank you for this ship!
@kitashinsuke Was I really that popular?
@aranojiro *facepalm emoji X 10
Dick : Ok folks! Third round! We have the spikers edition. For this round, we have *drumroll Miya Osamu, Iwaizumi Hajime and Ushijima Wakatoshi.
Atsumu : Wait a sec, why is Osamu on the list?!
Dick : The fans rated him one of the most kissable, hottest bachelors that needed to be bed.
Atsumu : I can’t believe this.. why is everyone going after that scrub.
20 seconds later…
Dick : First up this round we have Hinata again!
Hinata : Oh, I think I will marry Osamu-san! He cooks so well and his onigiri is amazing! You all should check out Onigiri Miya whenever you have the chance!
Atsumu : Don’t go inflating my brother’s ego anymore, Shouyou! He has enough money to last him a lifetime!
Hinata : Sorry, going off track. Hm, I don’t know about Ushijima-san and Iwaizumi-san. Ushijima-san can be a bit scary but he is a good guy and Iwaizumi-san gives us those amazing massages whenever we’re sore from practice so I can just imagine him kneading into me when we’re…
Atsumu : Time out! Time out! We don’t need to hear about our atheletic trainer like that! I swear I’m gonna pop a boner every damn time we go for training now!
Hinata : So bed Iwaizumi-san, kiss Ushijima-san.
Bokuto: Right! So bed Iwaizumi-san, same reason with Hinata, marry Osamu since he will keep me fed (not like Akaashi doesn’t, he just… doesn’t like cooking but he keeps me alive with other methods) and kiss Ushijima.
Sakusa : Kiss Iwaizumi-san, marry Osamu, bed Wakatoshi *all eyes turned to stare at him as he shrugs.
Sakusa : He’s big.
Atsumu : I will pretend I didn’t hear that Omi…
Dick : And last but not least.
Atsumu : Marry Iwaizumi-san, kiss Ushijima, castrate Samu.
@ushijimawakatoshi1 Am I really that big, Satori?
@chocolatepinceSatori Wakatoshi, we do not talk about this kind of stuff on Twitter!
@grandkingofthecourt Iwa-chan, why haven’t you been giving me your magical massages?!
@godzillakingiwaizumi That’s because you’re on the other side of the damn planet, Shittykawa!!!
@iwaoishippers Oh don’t you just love it when lovers bicker even when they’re miles apart?
@oiiwaforlife When is the wedding?
@godzillakingiwaizumi sent a picture
@iwaoishippers Attention IwaOi nation! This is not a drill! This is not a drill! They’re engaged! They’re engaged!
This thread can be continued below.
Dick : I think we can go with that. Now onto the middle blockers section! For this, we have *drumroll. Tsukishima Kei, Suna Rintarou and Tendou Satori.
20 seconds later…
Dick : This round, we have Sakusa-san first up!
Sakusa : I will go with kissing Tendou-san, marrying Tsukishima because he has a stable job and can play volleyball and bed Suna.
Atsumu : Wait a sec, you have the hots for Sunarin?
Sakusa : Does this game mean that everything is canon for you?
Dick : Alright, next up we have Atsumu-san!
Atsumu : Kiss Tendou, bed Sunarin and marry Tsukishima *points middle finger at camera. In your face Samu! I get to announce that about your boyfriend!
Dick : I think I just got a message from someone on Twitter called @therealmiyatwin to ask you to go f*** yourself.
Atsumu : Oh Samu! You wanna know the time that Sunarin and I…
This section of the interview has been censored due to sensitive content. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Dick : Ahem sorry for the delay folks but next up is Bokuto!
Bokuto : Hey hey hey! So let’s see… hm, this one is tricky since I’m not too familiar with Tendou but Tsukki! Oh man this is so hard! Suna is a great guy but I don’t know if I should bed any of them. I feel so unloyal to Akaashi…
Hinata : Bokuto-san, don’t worry! I’m sure Akaashi-san understands!
Bokuto : * Almost goes into emo mode before sighing. Kiss Tendou, marry Tsukki because he’s a fun guy and bed Suna.
Atsumu : Wait a sec, why is everyone trying to bed Suna here?
Bokuto : You bedded him too, Tsumtsum!
Atsumu : That’s cuz I wanted to get back at Samu!
Currently on Twitter AtsuSuna is trending along with the multitude of fans asking Atsumu to read various works of them on A03.
@therealmiyatwin You’re never allowed back to my shop ever again Tsumu. Go hang yourself and make sure you become a eunach too!
2,000 likes
@sunarintarou I don’t know what I did to deserve this but then again, he has the same face as you, Samu.
@therealmiyatwin What did you just say?! Are ya saying we’re…
This section of the interview has been censored due to sensitive content. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
@fangirlforosasuna SunaOsa for life!
@EJPRaijinsstalker Yes! Yes! Yes!
@OsaSunashipper Wait a sec! are you guys making a big mistake?! It should be OsaSuna, not SunaOsa.
@madwomanforVBplayers Its just a ship name. get over it.
@yaoifangirlisalive @madwomanforVBplayers Oh girl. I have a lot of educating for you to do *proceeds to enlighten everyone including Osamu and Suna about what it means to have a different ship name.
@sunarintarou So technically it would be OsaSuna since -
@therealmiyatwin Rin! Don’t go telling everyone about our damn private life dammit!
@sunarintarou Well you can always make it SunaOsa *shares grinning emoji to @therealmiyatwin
This thread can be continued by clicking this button.
Dick : So for the final round of the game, we have the special edition! The fans have been wondering for a very long time but if you guys ever had the choice *drumrolls. Who would you kiss, bed and wed in this group?
20 seconds later…
Dick : And we have our answers. Who would like to go first?
Hinata : Me! Me!
Dick : Alright, the floor is yours.
Hinata : I really like everyone here but since Bokuto-san is taken, I will kiss him. As for Omi-san and Atsumu *the two of them looking intently at him. I would bed Atsumu-san and marry Omi-san since he might not be comfortable with bed.
Atsumu : Shouyou! Ya really mean it?
Shouyou : Well I might have heard you doing it once or twice and…
Atsumu : Alright! Enough about my private life!
Dick : Alright, next up we have…
Bokuto : Kiss Hinata since he’s my disciple, marry Atsumu since he has a lot of money…
Atsumu : Aren’t you richer than me?!
Bokuto : Bed Omi. Akaashi did say he might seem interesting.
Sakusa : Wait a minute, what?
@akaashikeiji Bokuto-san…
@komoribestlibero Don’t mind, don’t mind. He loves you alright, its just a game show.
@akaashikeiji Why did he have to expose one of my kinks?
@komoribestlibero I’m calling you right now. I need to tell you all about my cousin.
Atsumu : Alright! Let’s see… kiss Bokuto since he’s married. Marry Shouyou since he is a ball of sunshine and bed Omi! One time and done!
Sakusa : Why is everyone assuming I don’t know how to do anything sexual?!
Atsumu : What? Are ya telling me you know something?
This section of the interview has been censored due to sensitive content. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Dick : And last but not lease, Sakusa-san!
Sakusa : Marry Hinata, kiss Bokuto, bed Miya.
Atsumu : Oya, is that a challenge, Omiomi?
Sakusa : I swear I will shut you up properly if I bedded you.
Atsumu : Who said anything about ya topping?!
Hinata : Omi-san! I didn’t know you could be so aggressive!
Bokuto : Omi!!!
Sakusa : I’m going to kill you all for this.
Dick : And this ends our Christmas special with the MSBY Black Jackals. Thank you all for coming here and happy holidays!