Chapter Text
CHAPTER ONE
MIKASA
It felt like a perfect dream, a surreal one that she couldn't even comprehend how it was so familiar. It almost felt so real, so vivid, like a memory from a long lost past that she cannot remember. It was almost magical and she couldn't pinpoint how it even existed in her memories.
Scented candles in the large diamond chandeliers that hung on the ceiling that glittered above like stars, people dancing across the wide ballroom— nobles, elites and royalties alike, the black, red and white suits and colored dresses among the crowd made her feel so ecstatic to dance and twirl in the waltz's harmony like she owned the night. Everything feels like a dream, a dream of perfect bliss as she twirled and twirled into the music that filled her ears.
Far away,
Long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember
The young princess was dancing through the crowd, with her young friends, which she happily danced with. It was almost in peace... until...
Things my heart
Used to know
"Mikasa!"
No... why? Why would he betray her father?
Things it yearns to remember
And a song someone sings
"Mikasa! Hey, wake up!"
Tears fell on her face as she remembered the scene once again. The look of her parents' demise, the people across the ballroom killed in cold blood... and it was chaos.
Once upon a December...
"MIKASA! You, sleepyhead, wake up! You're late!" She woke up, drenched in sweat as she looked at her friend who was waking her up. Sitting on the bed, she rubbed her head and felt another headache. She heard that tune again... those melodic tunes that rang in her head, like a music box that seemed so eerily familiar to her... Mikasa held her necklace, the one she has ever since she was a child. It was a small key to something, but it was pretty.
And... Why would she dream about this now when she's thought of finding the meaning of her dreams?
Sasha's eyes were annoyingly looking at Mikasa while munching a piece of bread in the morning, both of her hands in her hips. Mikasa looks at her blankly, and Sasha, noticing her gaze, sighed.
"You woke up late again and I thought you're having a fever because you are sweating so hard. The kids are ready, by the way."
Mikasa widened her eyes and stood up, fumbling in her sheets. She quickly dressed for the new day, and she curses herself for being late. She has a favor for Shadis, and probably he will not grant her because of her tardiness. She cannot ask for Hanji's approval too, because maybe she's away for an errand.
But maybe, Hanji's here. She could ask for some help and assistance from her eccentric senior co-worker.
"I'm sorry... I had a dream, a long one at that..." she stuttered, shrugging off her thoughts about the latter.
Looking up, she continued. "Is Hanji present today?" she asked Sasha as she fixed her boots.
The brunette shrugs and looks at the door, "I dunno, Mika. Maybe? I just came out of the kitchens and woke you up."
Finally finished her preparations for the morning consisted of putting her long silky hair in a ponytail and fixing her dress, she came out of the door with Sasha following her. Quickly walking down the stairs towards the first floor of the orphanage, she was greeted by the kids and she smiled at their eagerness to start the day.
"Mika! Are you going to read us a story later?"
"Are we going to play in the snow?"
"Will you cook some pies for us, Mika?"
The kids are so energetic in the mornings, asking her questions for the day. She couldn't answer all of them, since today one of them or any of them are going to have new parents or some new kids will join them here. Looking at Sasha, she beckoned her to help her with the kids since she needed to talk to Shadis about her decision.
This is final, I'm leaving. She thought as she looked at the hallway leading to his office.
Sasha just nodded and played with the kids, as she finally walked towards Shadis' office. Since Hanji is not here to assist and help her up, she decided to tell the orphanage owner who let her work and stay for almost 10 years, about her decision that will seal her fate.
Mikasa remembered nothing from her past when she was a kid. She just remembered that someone just dropped her in the orphanage, probably saw her alone without any help. Not that she thought about her past before and where she came from a lot, she wanted to know why she was alone in the first place. And why is it that no one is looking for her? When she was a young child here in the orphanage, her thoughts are just why would someone leave her. Until... her dreams start to appear like memories from her past when she was older.
Before, she thought that she was just a commoner... a commoner being picked up by someone that pitied her state and decided to drop her off at an orphanage in Liberio, now a city in Marley. But even though the orphanage is located in a city, it was still so far away from the city proper.
After so many years, sleepless nights because of her vivid dreams, she wanted to know who she was. Mikasa softly held the necklace in her chest, like it was some sort of relic from her past. She knew that her dreams weren't just dreams. It felt like memories from her childhood... and she couldn't get it out of her head.
Sighing outside his office door, she opened it slowly and saw the head and the owner of the orphanage looking at her with his signature annoyed expression.
"What is it, Mikaela? You're late in the morning today." his voice was rough, and he was irritated by her presence in the morning.
She gulped and looked at him in the eye. It's now or never...
"Sir... I wish to leave the orphanage permanently," she said, voice unwavering. Mikasa knew that he wouldn't let her go, since she was a great help to the orphanage and no one adopted her.
Shadis was silent after a few seconds, but his expression changed from an annoyance into anger.
"No."
"Why? I'm at this orphanage for 10 years, sir! Let me go!" she said, looking at Shadis desperately. She wanted to go, and find herself and know the meaning of her dreams and memories, and also about her necklace.
Shadis stared at her unblinking, but she didn't look away from him. She was strong-willed and very persistent, and she thought of leaving the orphanage before but she hesitated because of the kids and their painful yet gloomy expressions when she leaves them. Sasha would cry, yes but she expected something like that to happen. Hanji would accept her decision, but she would be sad by the news.
She will not let her emotions dwindle over this. She made up her mind.
The said man stood up and glared at her before walking away but she followed him outside into the hallway. Thankfully, the children and Sasha weren't there to hear their argument.
"Please sir, I need to leave!"
"You will not, Mikaela! Unless someone adopted you or took you into their home. This is a rule you knew already!" he turned around, and faced her. She was angry, too angry that her cheeks puffed in red. But what he said made him think of the circumstances of leaving.
She would travel all by herself into the other cities in Marley, and never come back. The memories here will just be memories... Worst of all, she will be prone to danger along the road.
But she was strong. She's strong enough to deal with this.
She took a step as she clenched her fists, eyes unblinking.
"I need to leave," she said, her voice steady and clear. Shadis grunted in response but he just walked away, not minding her call of desperation to let her talk again.
Mikasa never talked to anyone that day. She didn't partake in any activities either. Sasha is probably looking for her, but she doesn't have any energy to go out and mingle with the kids, It will just hurt her. Their smiles, their laughs, and their enthusiasm made her want to stay. But she couldn't... not when she needed to know who she was.
It was already in the middle of the night and the kids are now sleeping, not minding where she was the whole day. Sasha might have told them that she has important errands to finish, that's why she's gone. Her bunkmate was sleeping soundly at the top of the wooden bunk. She silently stood up from the bed and packed her clothes and things. Wearing a cloak, she nudged Sasha's elbow as she tiptoed in her bed.
"Sasha... please wake up," the girl actually opened her eyes and lazily looked at her.
"Mikaela?" she mumbled, as she sat up on the bed. Mikasa put a finger on her lips when Sasha opened her mouth to say something. But she just silently looked at her appearance and saw her bags.
"You're going... to leave?" she whispered as she slowly came down from the bed. Mikasa nodded, looking at the windows as she searched for a way to escape without anyone finding her, even the kids sleeping next to it.
"I need help, Sasha. Also, yes. I'm... leaving." The last word was a whisper as Sasha slowly walked towards her and hugged her tight. She never expected that she would accept her decision. Maybe she knew that she would leave the place soon, but not now.
"Please be safe, okay? Also... I know that you needed to find yourself there."
She embraced the girl back, fighting off her tears from falling. Mikasa will surely miss Sasha since she's the only person that made her post-childhood happy other than the kids her age at that time. All of them were adopted now by different families, and only both of them stayed.
Sasha pulled away from her and smiled.
"I'll help you out," the girl removed both of the bedsheets from their beds and also their blankets, and tied them up on both ends. Without a rope to escape from the two-story building, Mikasa would break her legs and could seriously attain damage to her body.
The makeshift rope is so long that Sasha tested it and it fell on the grassy bed at the back of the building. The two bags are already down into the grass. Tying it on the bed beside the windows where two children are sleeping, Mikasa sighed in happiness. Now... she will finally find her way.
Hugging Sasha again, her tears finally fell from her eyes. The memories she has in this building will never be forgotten...
"Take care of the kids, okay? Also, tell Hanji about the true reason I escaped. And... about Shadis... please don't mind him." she pulled away and smiled at Sasha, who was now actually crying.
"Take care of yourself too, Sash."
Without any regrets, she grabbed the makeshift rope and held it with all her strength as she climbed down towards the grassy land. With Sasha looking down from the windows, she waved a goodbye and finally strolled into the night towards the roads connecting her path where she would find herself...
And know the answers of her past.
"You need some travel papers young lady, no one will leave Liberio at this moment. The King ordered a decree today to let no one from this city travel to the other cities," the ticketing man looked at her from behind the counter, as she clutched both of her bags close to her.
As if this day didn't let her hopes up a little further, Liberio is currently closed and needs papers to let her go to the other cities.
"Miss!"
One of the people on the line called her and she turned. It was a middle-aged woman, and she ushered her to walk closer.
"What is it?" she asked and the woman beamed.
"I can help you, Miss. Someone has a way to get papers to leave the city. His name was Levi."
"Levi...?" she muttered the name and the woman nodded eagerly.
"Just find him. He'll help you leave."
After talking to the woman, she sighed and walked away, probably finding an inn and finding the guy named Levi. Her bags are heavy, but it was still tolerable. As she strolled along the path on the cold day, she saw the buildings and pubs full of people. Mikasa just arrived from the orphanage, where she hitched a ride towards the city proper of Liberio. But alas, the damned King just issued a decree.
She saw a small pub and asked the same question of where the guy named Levi is, and they have the same responses— probably on the streets. He was undeniably famous along with the city since everyone she asked knew him.
But to no avail, there is no good response to where he was.
Mikasa slumped back on the walls, as she felt the cold winds of the morning hit her skin inside her cloak. Today, the winter finally began. Putting her two bags on the cobbled ground, she stood up properly and looked up to see the start of a new season. The snow began to fall from the cloudy white skies, as she tried to catch some snowflakes into her palm. She smiled, seeing the view and the houses now slowly filled with snow.
She looks at an inn on the other side of the road, but to her demise when she turned around, she didn't see her bags on the floor. Realizing someone stole her bags when she was looking at the sky, she clenched her teeth and walked away.
"Fuck... my bags!" she grumbled and ran to chase whoever it is that took her belongings. But no one in particular in the street held both of her bags or suspiciously walked, so she made her way towards the other streets in the large city.
Finding the culprit isn't easy, so she turned and walked in every street in Liberio. The city was massive, so she needed to know where her bags were, wherever it was.
"Oh gods, isn't this day any easier?!" she exclaimed.
The afternoon glow from the wintry day made her sit on an abandoned castle-like structure, far away from the city after finding the culprit who stole her bags, and asking where Levi is. Exhausted and hungry, Mikasa just slumped back on the ruined cobbled steps towards the palace and sighed, her tears now threatening.
Her travels didn't even start, and now her bags are missing. Stolen, even— is the right word. No one in their damn minds would steal two bags from an innocent lady just looking up into the sky to see the start of winter.
She's so mesmerized by the first snow day of the year that she didn't even realize what's happening.
Sighing, she stood up and walked away, but stopped when she realized where she was. It was an abandoned castle, a castle too large but looking at the ruins, it is clear that it was once a beautiful and massive sight to behold. Now the gates are gone, and only the palace structure is standing.
But she remembered one drunk guy told her that Levi might be on the castle ruins, as the drunk man call it. So she'll take the chance since she’s here already.
Slowly walking towards the ruined palace, she felt as if her memories were pulling her in. She didn't even recognize the ruined castle, but she stood inside the once magnificent and majestic ballroom anyway.
The painted ceilings didn't fade away through the test of time, and the chandeliers hanging is still there. The glass windows were shattered, but it was still as beautiful as ever. The place was strangely clean and devoid of any dust. There is a table and a chair at the base of the large staircase, and a small stage. At the top of the two staircases from each side, there is a family portrait which she ended up staring at when she arrived at the top.
Two families are posing for a portrait. It was clear that the children have no siblings. The contrast of both families is easy to see, since the child in the next family is a blonde, and smiling excitedly and lively as ever. The other one that caught her eye was the raven-haired. The women who she thinks of as the Queens, are sitting on a large intricately designed royal sofa, with their children in the middle. On both sides of the sofa, their husbands— the Kings, are standing.
She stared at the raven-haired child, her features aren't easily looked upon due to the portrait being not that clear as day. Someone from the past burned it, but only mildly and probably unsuccessfully. The faces of the blonde child's parents are burned and blurry that she cannot see their faces.
The raven-haired child was smiling shyly, holding her mother's hand. Her mother had the beautiful raven hair as her child. Her father, however, was blonde. Probably the King has some sort of connection to the second family, that's why they are posing in the same photo.
Mikasa noticed her features are strangely similar to the raven-haired child as if her memories are coming back...
She hummed the tune in her head, as she turned around and looked at the large ballroom beneath her. Slowly walking down the stairs, her memories are filling her as she sings the familiar lyrics of a song.
"Dancing Bears, painted wings. Things I almost remember..." she hummed and twirled around, imagining her dreams are real and not a figment of her imagination. Mikasa stood at the platform facing the ballroom and felt like she was here long ago.
"And a song someone sings, Once upon a December." she sang and twirled around the empty ballroom like it was her castle. She imagined herself as a princess in her dreams, the one that dances around the waltz and the harmonies of the orchestra like she owned the night.
"Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm..." she finally stopped and turned to look at the emptiness of the ballroom. Her memories still hazy on her mind, but she remembered the scene from her dreams like yesterday.
"Figures dancing gracefully... Across my memory..."
The scene suddenly became so surreal, that she felt the people in her dreams coming back and dancing in the ballroom like they were alive. They twirled and greeted her like she was a princess, and she smiled at them in return. It was the ghosts of the past, but she didn't mind it.
"Far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember..." finally someone walked up and danced with her, and realized it was the King or the father of the raven-haired child she saw on the portrait not too long ago. She smiled as they danced around the ballroom, and by doing so, she saw the Queen, looking at her proudly.
Why... Why are these dreams coming back like it felt so real to be true?
"Things my heart used to know. Things it yearns to remember..." the music faltered as the King fondly kissed her forehead, and it felt so familiar.
Is she dreaming?
He pulled away and walked towards the Queen. She was still smiling her gaze soft and tender as a mother would.
It felt so real. Her dreams are not just imaginary, it almost feels like...
"And a song someone sings... Once upon a December."
... she was the princess.
And suddenly, everything was gone in a blink of an eye. The ballroom was empty and devoid of any source of light and the vibrant glow of the chandeliers, making it dark and foreboding. The reality she faced right now, hit her. Maybe... it was just her imagination.
What am I doing? Why am I here?
Her thoughts dissipated when she heard a voice call out and she turned around, facing the man. Jet-black hair in a clean undercut, his dark blue eyes was staring at her. His face has unique aristocratic features. He has the same height as her, not too tall and too short. He was handsome, comely— even. His eyes has the same bored and impassive look, but she didn’t flinch. His clothes are clean, consisting of a white tunic and brown vest, with dark brown pants and boots. He was wearing a short dark green cloak around him, probably due to the cold outside.
She blinked, and realized that he was momentarily dazed for a second. So probably... he was Levi.
"Oi. What the hell are you doing here?"