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Lord help us- and possibly other mad ramblings

Summary:

Inspired by a conversation I had with a friend about introducing poetry into the bedroom (don’t ask- no smut)

So! Why not use the best comfort character?!

 

Probably other Badly written one shots by us.

Notes:

Oof, I’m in pain - ZalexBr0

We’re both dyslexic so - Vuri_Fury
There’s like an entire backstory to this but gosh darn it lord I’m too tired - Vuri_Fury

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Mister Deloria, and Mister Neelson, will be working on this project together”

That sentence was more than enough, to strike primal fear into my heart. But besides the protests from either side, we were forced to work together.
And I guess Butch didn’t like the fact That I had given up, cutting the argument with Mister. Brock, short.
That lead to a small shouting match, as soon as class ended.

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I had finished my moping by the time I had got home.
The door closed behind me, Alpha and Omega were already home.

While I had slaved over a desk, for six hours, And my father was making sure none of us would, Y’know, Die from illness.
These two dweebs, were lounging around.

Alpha was dazed, staring at the ceiling and it was hard to tell if he was even breathing.
Omega was on the floor, switching between two radio stations, like trying to form a sentence between a song, and a broadcast.

I took one of my books, and dropped it on Alpha’s stomach. He immediately let out a groan, and curled into a ball.
“Hard day at work?” I asked, sarcastically.

“Hey Beta. What was the shouting?” Omega asked, looking over at me. I shrugged.
“Butch Again” I sat down next to her. Alpha let out another grunt, and sat up.

“Hey, you know if he’s still giving you problems, I can take care of him. I mean, the water will taste weird for-“ His -Gross- rant was cut off, by another book being launched at his direction.

He let out another groan, and doubled over.
“Quit it!” Omega yelled, then put her hand on my shoulder.
“But seriously. If he ever gives you problems again, just tell ME, ok?” She smiled, I smiled in return.

I stood up and stretched.
Then I realised; Butch would probably be coming over. That means he would by greeted by Two protective people. who are terrifying on their own.

“Oh and Uh” I started, their eyes were on me.
“Speaking of butch. He’ll probably be over, soon” I finished, clasping my hands together, behind my back.

The room was immediately filled, by loud, garbled, protests.
Their sentences mixed together, and I could barely hear myself think.
It ended with them, shouting “SHUT UP!” At each other.
They all looked at me, again.

“B-But, it’s fine, really. It’s a class project, he’s dumb, but not dumb enough to mess with me, while you two are here” I explained, trying to use a calm, collected tone.

In reality, my anxiety was taller than me.

Omega looked at me, then alpha, then me again.
“If you say so” she shrugged, going back to her radio.
“Yea- WHAT?!- How are you so calm with this?” He protested, she just flipped through stations.
“He’s got a point. Deloria won’t touch a hair on Beta’s Head, if he knows we’re there”

I smiled, and walked back to my room.
Alpha attempted to follow, and drown me with protests, on how it was a terrible idea. But he was cut off by my door, shutting down in his face.

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(This part was Written by Uri!)
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I flipped through the few pages of the book. Apparently before the war, there were a lot of Poems about Nuclear devices, this was one of them.
The past half hour of shouting, made my throat raw. And I needed to do some Exercises.
I switched on the radio. My room filled with classical music.

Opening my door, and seeing my siblings were gone. I started the beginning of the Poem.

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(Co written by Uri)
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I was now Somewhere around the eight Reading, my throat was still raw, but definitely better

“Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree. If mankind perished utterly;” I said, pacing around in my room.
“And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn-“ I was cut off, by a voice behind me.

“Reading a love letter?” I turned around.

Butch stood there, smug grin on his face.
His tunnel snakes jacket was gone, instead, he was wearing a white shirt. the Vault suit was unzipped to above the waistline, the sleeves tied around his torso.

I snapped back, when he clicked his finger in my face.
“I- No- This is the book, Y’know, for the class project?” I raised a brow, waving the book, he looked to it, then me.
“We have a book?” He asked, arms crossed.

Oh my god, I’m going to kill him.

I shrugged back my thoughts, and pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Whatever, just-just get the door” I sighed, turning off the radio.

I sat on the bed, and when he turned around, I -lightly- tossed the book at him. He barely caught it, but didn’t say anything.
“Take it. I know the poem already” again, he didn’t say anything, just sat on my desk chair.

“What’re we supposed to be doing?” He asked, flipping through the pages.
“It’s public speaking, mixed with an essay. What we think the poem means” I explained, he landed on the bookmarked page.

“Yeah-No. I ain’t reading this” he said, eyes scanning over the page, again and again.
“Brock must’ve done something wrong- this is just garbled garbage!” He scoffed, and I took deep offence to that statement.

“Garbage- that’s by far the BEST poem, I’ve ever read, and this room is filled with books!” I hissed.
I usually try and keep calm, but this was my “Hyperfixation” as dad called it. And butch was more or less the person to yell at.

“I can’t even make sense at half these words!” He matched my tone, I stood up, and pointing to the words on the page.
“This is perfection. You can tell she took time, thought, everything into it. Read it out” I said, he looked up at me.

“What?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Read it out. Simple as that” I tapped the line of text, I was reading, before he came in.

He groaned, but he definitely wasn’t gonna argue with me, not while the threat of my siblings, -who weren’t here- were “present”.

“Fine” he huffed, reading the words over and over again.
I sat on my bed, I’ve never heard him read aloud.

It took him a while, but he started to speak.
“And spring her-herself” he started, I tilted my head to the side.

He’s stuttering? I’ve never heard him do that before.

“When she... she woke at D-Dawn” he blinked a few times, moving the book closer to his face, then farther away.
“Would scare-SCARCELY know... That-That we were gone” he managed to finish, his face now flushed.

He looked up at me, and threw the book in my direction. It didn’t hit me, but it came close.

“Butch. Can you not read?” I asked, he groaned.
“I don’t know! S’always been like this” he crossed his arms.

I looked back at the page, and after confirming that everything was normal, I looked up at him.

“When you read. Is it blurry?” He raised an eyebrow.
“What- No” his leg started bouncing.

“Humour me. What’s reading like, for you?” I asked, he sank in the chair.
“S’like. I don’t know, words are all messed up, Y’know. Shit looks like it’s a riddle” he explained.

Sounded like something Jonas talked about, said he had it himself.

“It’s Probably Dyslexia. Jonas has it, dunno how he became a Medical technician, but he did” I shrugged, going back to the book.
That seemed to ease him a bit, as he sat back up in the chair.
“Here’s what it’s SUPPOSED to sound like” I closed the book.

“And spring herself, when she awoke at down. Would scarcely notice, that we were gone” I said, Slowly, putting emphasis on each word, but not in a way so that it was condescending -I hope-.

His leg stopped bouncing, and for once, it looked like he was actually listening.

“I’ll start from the beginning. You just focus on the end, ok?” I asked, he sighed and nodded, joining me on the end of my bed.

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(I live off of anime tropes+the way anime characters act++2015 WattPad fanfic)
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“Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire” I made sure to speak slow, pointing to every word I read.

“And not one will know of the war, not one Will care at last when it is done” I looked at butch, who was sitting next to me, leaned in so he could read the book, but he didn’t care that he was close, he was focused on the last line.

“Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree, If mankind perished utterly” my voice went a bit quiet, he didn’t seem to mind, he took a deep breath, leaned in closer to the book and closed his eyes.

“And spring herself, when she woke at dawn” he started.
His voice was void of nervousness, and it wasn’t like his usual tone.
His tone matched mine, slow and quiet, putting his best into each word.
“Would scarcely know that we were gone” he finished, eyes opening.

I was shocked to say the least, I’d never heard him speak like that before. Even his accent -which I usually wasn’t a fan of- was weirdly softened, by the way he spoke.

“What? Don’t just stare at me” he said, I ran a hand over my blonde hair nervously.

I really didn’t have anything to say, I tried to think of a sentence that sounded good, but that seemed impossible.

“Fuck. Don’t tell me I screwed it up again” he groaned, burying his face in his bandaged hands.
“What- No, No! Really I just” I stammered, fiddling with my hands.

“You did so good, it’s just. I’ve never heard you talk like that before” he looked through his fingers.
“What do you mean?” He asked, slightly muffled by his hands.

“Every time I’ve heard you speak, you’re either sarcastic or yelling, or both. I don’t know, just strange to hear you talk softly, felt weird” I said.
Then I realised how absolutely weird that must’ve sounded.

But butch was always quick to turn everything into a joke.
“Oh, so you’re saying that my voice does things to ya?” He asked, putting his hands down, and that smug grin showing on his face. “W-What?!” I exclaimed, propping myself up by my hands.

“It’s fine. I know how my voice drives girls wild” he chuckled, I furrowed my brow.
“Didn’t know it worked on guys too” I grabbed the book, keeping my thumb between the page so I could shove it in his face if he did something.

“Yeah yeah. Your voice drives me insane” he eyed the book, then me. He knows the damage I can do, but that didn’t phase him, instead he put his knees on the bed, now in a crawling position. “Maybe it does. The thought of my voice, maybe that’s why you didn’t put up a fight with Brock about this” he got closer.

My personal space was quickly taken up, by him beginning to hover over me.
“Don’t mess with me. I can be a lot worse than you, like this” I attempted to threaten, his grin fell into a sweet -but obviously fake- smile.
“Sure dweeb. What part was it?” His eyes landed to the book, then back to me.

“And spring herself, when she awoke at dawn” his hands slowly travelled up my arms, stopping at the wrists.
My breath hitched as he got closer.
“Would scarcely notice, that we were gone” he said, using that same sickly sweet voice.

I could tell that I was bright red, but I wasn’t going to be the first to do anything.
In an instance, his hand snaked up my wrist, and yanked the book away from me.

He fell on his back, howling with laughter.
Now that he was away from me -and laughing loudly- I was free to breathe heavily.

“Oh-Oh man, the look on your!-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence without laughing, I was more embarrassed than angry, embarrassed that I had just let that entire situation happen, and not switch it on him.

“I told you not to mess with me like that, Butch!” I huffed, he was reduced to giggles.
“Aw. Someone mad they didn’t get what they wanted?” He said in a stupid voice.

I ran a hand through my hair, accepting the dumb idea that just popped into my head.

In a moment, of pure stupidity and not thinking.
I quickly closed the distance between us, leaving a small peck on his lips.
Small and quick, but more than enough to catch him off guard, and make him silent.

His lips were parted, and the same confused look from earlier, was plastered on his face.

“I said I could be worse than you” I shrugged, he just looked at me, face going back to neutral.
“Worse? Please, that’s mild, compared to what I did” He said, leaning on his hand.

So, in return. I repeated my action, this time I stayed for a bit longer.
This time, when I pulled away, I noticed that his face was not flushed, I was probably the same.

“Well” he started. Running his hand over his hair.
“I’d say you’re halfway there. Maybe a little bit below me, but definitely not worse” he had that stupid grin, back on his face.

This was NOT the way, I intended to spend my day, but strangely enough, I didn’t feel like complaining.

This time when I leaned in, I grabbed the neck of his shirt, and put all my weight onto Butch, making him hit the wall.
I immediately Continued the kiss, at this point I had completely given up at staying calm, my filter had melted, and I was just rolling with it.

Once Butch got over the initial shock, that’s when things escalated- well, my -Extremely tame- version of what Escalated means.
One hand grabbed the short hair at the back of my head, his other hand propped himself up, closing any space between us.

The constant moving and speaking, made us both breathless rather quickly.
The second we both parted for air, and I heard deep breathing noise from under me, I finally understood the situation.

This was Butch Deloria, the same guy who was the worlds biggest pain to me, for as long as I can remember, was now out of breath cause of something I did.

His hands fell to his side, then quickly propped himself up into a normal sitting position, I went back to my original space at the end of the bed.

Before he got a chance to speak, I started “So, how’d I do?” I asked, fixing my glasses and getting a good look at him.
His hair -which he was always cautious about- was a mess, gelled spikes sticking out in every direction. His face was completely flushed.

The maid door to my place opened, then shut.
“Beta, We’re home!” Omega announced, butch looked at me.
“Wait- they weren’t here, the entire time?” He hissed, pointing at the door.

“If they were, I wouldn’t have pulled a stunt like that, Deloria” I kicked his shin, he drew his leg back to kick me, But Omega opened the door.
“Oh, he’s still here- Yeah B, dad wants you in the diner” I nodded, and she left to her room.

Butch quickly fixed his appearance, trying his best to get his hair back to normal, all the while Whisper-Yelling at me to stop laughing, using threats I knew he wouldn’t carry out.

“I’d say you’re on the same level” he said, fixing himself in the mirror.
“Same level as what?” I leaned on the wall, he shrugged.

“You asked me a minute ago how Y’did. You used to be here” he turned around to face me, putting out two hands, one was lower than the other, which I’m guessing was supposed to be me.
“But now you’re here” He put the smaller one at the same height as the other hand.

“Aw. So I’m not worse than you?” I chuckled, he turned around to the mirror “Nope. You’re on the same level as me, no way you can get worse than that”

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I’m Uri the Co-Writer and I regret ever existing - Uri

I’m the OG writer and I ALSO regret existing

Notes:

I hate everything about this - ZalexBr0

Jesus heal the masses- I’m not even religious and I’m praying for us - Vuri_Fury