Chapter Text
Hanzo lay still in his bed as he tried to register his senses. It had to be quite early still, everything so quiet he could hear his own heart thrumming fast and hard. He stared blankly at the gray padded ceiling for a moment, a ceiling he woke up to for nearly every day of the past six months. It’s the same ceiling in all the other Watchpoint quarters — boring and innocuously standard.
The dream he just woke up from was anything but.
The image was almost too vivid for a scene so impossible, but Hanzo could still see the way Cassidy’s eyes focused so intently on him. The cowboy was wearing no hat but a wide grin, standing so close that Hanzo could feel the warmth of his breaths brushing against his face. He was holding the cowboy by his nape when he felt the man shift under his fingers, leaning down to close the little distance between them and then kissing Hanzo’s lips — the sensation so unfamiliar that Hanzo almost staggered, but Cassidy gently held on to him. The warmth was suddenly all too overwhelming then; it forced Hanzo awake and left his head reeling from the dissipating scene.
Hanzo slowly breathed in, another futile attempt at calming his mind, as the residual feelings from the dream were still startlingly fresh. It was a chaste enough kiss, but the emotion lurking beneath was impossible to ignore: there was an easy, unadulterated affection in the way that Cassidy had kissed him, in the way that Hanzo had moved against him in response—
It was most definitely too warm in the room. Hanzo hastily lifted the covers to stop his own thoughts, only to find himself not just covered in sweat but also half aroused.
He groaned irritatedly and glanced at the time. Like he had guessed, it was definitely still too early to start the day, but he’s desperate for an immediate shower—If not for all the sweat and heat he’s feeling, his inappropriate arousal at the thought of kissing a friend could definitely use some cooldown.
Hanzo jumped out of bed and quickly entered the shower stall. He shuddered involuntarily as cold water started to wash over him, chasing away even the last lingering thought of sleep. He stood still in the cold splashes until the spiraling in his mind had finally calmed down to a quiet spin.
To be fair, he had woken up from far worse dreams before. Hanzo supposed there could be a somewhat logical reason for his dream, as he had very recently witnessed his own brother’s affectionate display with the good doctor, a stolen moment of intimacy that he hadn’t meant to intrude upon.
The couple had been on the rooftop at sunset, a time when Hanzo himself would occasionally visit the very location. He knew that he was walking into something the moment he had laid eyes on the two of them, who, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice his intrusion. Genji had removed his faceplate (which was unusual enough on its own) and was sitting next to Dr. Ziegler. Hanzo had previously suspected their close relationship, but it was never something that he and Genji talked about.
Hanzo knew he should have retreated immediately, but the initial surprise had stunned him a moment too long — he happened to see his brother leaning close to press a kiss on the doctor’s hair, and the doctor had smiled brightly as she laced her fingers with Genji’s cybernetic ones.
Hanzo wouldn’t pride himself on recognizing people’s feelings, but the tender happiness on both of their faces was hard to miss.
So no, Hanzo decided that it would not be completely unnatural for thoughts of intimate affection to slip into his own unconsciousness. Besides, Cassidy was a far cry from unattractive and, if he cared to admit, possessed a roguish charm that could be categorized as appealing…but not to Hanzo, of course./it’s only an objective assessment, nothing personal to Hanzo, of course.
He had rarely entertained the thought of being close, or even attracted, to another person. It was a fact that had never bothered him. The bond of intimacy might have been a necessity at one point of his life, being expected to form an alliance or produce an heir for the continuation of family glory, but it had never quite come to be a desire of his own, as other priorities had always crowded his mind.
For the past ten years, especially, he stopped thinking about it all together. It was not an emotion he had allowed himself to indulge in, when there was only room for bitterness and hatred in his heart.
The dream had brought on some unfamiliar thoughts and feelings altogether, but Hanzo was certain they would disappear as swiftly and suddenly as they had come. He had never been one to seek deep meaning in a dream anyway—such triviality should not concern him in the reality that was.
As he started his daily routines, Hanzo did manage to put all thoughts of the dream behind him. However, by early afternoon, he couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t run into Cassidy even once today. Hanzo had observed that the gunslinger tended to keep a sporadic schedule, happy to be doing things as the moment had prompted, but he typically wasn’t one to miss lunch entirely.
For some reason, not knowing Cassidy’s whereabouts bothered Hanzo more than it should. He mentally kept track of everyone on the base and knew that there’s currently no mission planned for today or even the rest of the week, but perhaps there was an emergency that required the cowboy’s presence? It wouldn’t be the first time that had happened.
He pointedly ignored the impulse to call on Athena or grab anyone at the base to question Cassidy’s whereabouts and instead cleaned up slowly in the kitchen, waiting to see if the cowboy might finally decide to turn up for a bite.
Hanzo thought back to last night when he and Cassidy had another one of their shooting contests, trying to remember if the gunslinger might have mentioned his plan for the day. Hanzo recalled the banters after his own hard-won victory—Cassidy had taken his defeat with more grace than he seemed capable of, shaking his head almost incredulously while eying Hanzo’s bow. “I still don’t get how you do all that, you know?” The gunslinger had drawled, chuckling before looking Hanzo in the eye with a twinkle of challenge, “Bet you won’t be as lucky next time though, archer.” Hanzo had snorted but nonetheless pleased with himself at the moment. “Unlike you, luck was never a factor in my performance,” he had smirked and quipped back without missing a beat.
When their little matches first started a few months back, Hanzo had learned quite a few things about the gunslinger. Despite his initial confidence in total triumph over Cassidy, Hanzo found them to be more evenly matched than he wanted to admit. It had turned out that Cassidy’s laid-back attitude on everything else didn’t apply to the way he handled his gun.
The archer had every right to be proud of winning against a respectable opponent last night, and he was pleased enough to accept Cassidy’s offer for a drink before retreating back to his own quarters.
Hanzo suspected that Cassidy didn’t stop drinking after he left. As such, a more likely scenario would be that the cowboy was simply still lazing off somewhere, nursing a hangover.
Hanzo snorted at the thought of a drunk cowboy and naturally remembered all the times that he had seen Cassidy drunk. He had to suppress the sudden urge to smile before feeling annoyed with the way Cassidy occupied his mind without even being there.
With nothing else left to do around the kitchen, Hanzo went ahead and did the only thing that never failed to clear his mind—he trained as hard as he possibly could, straining and pushing himself over his own physical limit again and again until the dragons on his arm gleamed blue.
After another shower, Hanzo had ventured outside just in time for the sunset. He had opted for the seaside cliff right outside the briefing room instead of his usual rooftop, just in case he walked into yet another moment between Genji and Dr. Ziegler.
It’s been a rare day without any rain in the Gibraltar winter, the cloud-crowded sky already turning shades of orange and purple. Hanzo looked out at the sea and deeply inhaled the now-familiar salty air. He found himself enjoying these moments the most—completely alone in a familiar space, and nothing was demanded from him.
In retrospect, he should have realized that his peace would be short-lived.
At first, he almost didn’t register the faint jingles of spurs, but as the sound of the cowboy approaching had become unmistakably close, his heart rate quickly picked up despite his own chagrin.
He frowned. It had absolutely no reason to be beating so fast.
Funnily enough, after half a day of wondering where Cassidy was, he hadn’t expected to meet him here at all, when he’s finally at peace with himself enough to enjoy a good view. A wave of irritation washed over him when Hanzo realized just how undeniably pleased he was at the cowboy’s sudden appearance.
Hanzo breathed deeply once, twice, before finally turning to meet Cassidy. The cowboy was in his usual getup, an easy grin already on his face as he nodded at Hanzo. “Howdy, “ he greeted casually, not an ounce of hypothesized hangover in his voice, “Fancy seeing you here, partner.”
“Cassidy,” Hanzo nodded back before quickly turning his eyes to the ocean side again, “I should be the one saying that, given that you have not been around all day.”
Cassidy had already moved up closer, now standing next to Hanzo on the cliffside with a good few feet between them. “Heh, I guess I was out all day, huh? I’ve been out of these for a day or two,” He explained with a half-hearted shrug, deft fingers pulling out his cigarillo case and waving it at Hanzo, “Reckoned I could do everyone an early supply run for the week while I picked up some new ones.”
“I see, “ Hanzo said, realizing his earlier guess about Cassidy’s whereabouts for the day had been entirely false. He heard a familiar soft clink of lighter before turning his gaze back to Cassidy, just in time to see the cowboy taking a deep drag from the newly lit cigarillo.
Hanzo’s eyes lingered at the lips wrapped around the cigarillo for a moment longer than necessary, and he couldn’t help but think about how accurately his dream had captured their shape. Would they really feel as soft and warm? Or would they taste more like the cool sea breeze instead—
“Is the smoke botherin’ you, or you’re finally interested in tryin’ one today? I’ve got plenty to spare at the moment,” Cassidy said, interrupting Hanzo’s untimely thoughts. The cowboy had arched an eyebrow at him, his tone somewhat amused but not unkind.
Cassidy must have known that the smoke didn’t bother Hanzo—a fact that they established early on at one of their first encounters out here. The cowboy had certainly noticed his staring, and Hanzo knew he had to choose his reaction carefully if he didn’t want to rouse any suspicion.
At last he managed to shake his head once and look away evenly, as if he was merely caught up in an unimportant thought, nothing relating to the smoke (or Cassidy’s lips, for that matter).
But Cassidy didn’t turn away his gaze. Hanzo could feel the man’s eyes on him as he silently cursed Cassidy’s damn perceptiveness.
“What’s on your mind then?” After a moment of consideration, Cassidy ended up asking curiously.
“Nothing,” he answered, but knowing that it couldn’t possibly have appeased the cowboy, Hanzo proceeded to add, “I was merely recalling a dream I had last night.”
Cassidy’s brows furrowed at first. “A dream? “ The cowboy repeated slowly before continuing, “What’s it about, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Hanzo had to swallow down a heaviness in his throat before he was able to answer. “You,” he said, surprising even himself with the answer before quickly adding, “but I hardly remember anything apart from that.”
Cassidy had also seemed genuinely surprised at first, but he huffed good-naturally and took his cigarillo between his metal fingers. “So you were just tryin’ to remember what happened in the dream?” he asked, “I kinda had to ask there, ya know, with the way you were lookin’ at me.”
Hanzo felt his body stiffened at Cassidy’s words. “And what way would that be?” He asked carefully.
“Like I was one of those damn practice bots before you put an arrow in it,“ Cassidy said in half joke and half seriousness, which had only made his comparison all the more amusing, “Hopefully you weren’t dreaming about pushing me down this cliff or something, ‘cause that’d be a real shame.”
Hanzo couldn’t help but smirk at the cowboy’s remark, the tightness in his throat slowly dissolving at Cassidy’s playful tone.
“Rest assured that my thoughts or actions will not be dictated by merely a dream, regardless of its content,” Hanzo said, entirely aware that the determination in his words was directed more to himself than Cassidy, “Besides, I promise you that killing you would be the last thing on my mind.”
“Oh yeah? And why is that?”
“I enjoy beating you at shooting too much to want you dead,” Hanzo deadpanned.
Cassidy had barked out a laugh right then, and his face was lit up by undisguised amusement and the last of the sunlight. The setting sun had nearly sunk below the sea level, tainting the fiery sky into a breathtaking sight.
But Hanzo couldn’t bring himself to look away from Cassidy’s face. His heart lurked traitorously at the thought that he had been the one to make Cassidy laugh that way. Has he always looked like this? Hanzo wondered, or has that dream somehow made him see Cassidy in a different light now?
Hanzo’s finger twitched unconsciously, as an inexplicable desire to reach up and touch the lingering smile on Cassidy’s face seized him. This very moment was strangely reminiscent of just the other day when he had caught sight of his brother under a similar sunset—well, this comparison was unreasonable, for sure, because that moment between Genji and the doctor had been a different scenario entirely…
Cassidy’s lips were moving, and Hanzo finally forced himself to snap back, but it was just a moment too late. It would seem that he had somehow completely missed Cassidy’s clever comeback.
He certainly wasn’t going to ask the cowboy to repeat himself, but Hanzo was also a little irritated that Cassidy had gotten the last word without him even knowing what it was.
Thankfully the cowboy didn’t comment on Hanzo’s absentmindedness, but instead suggested that they head back in before it got too cold. Hanzo didn’t trust himself to utter a response. He had only managed to simply nod before swiftly turning away from the cliffside. Hanzo walked toward the Watchpoint in faster strides than usual, purposefully leaving Cassidy a few steps behind.
He really hoped that he had left all his unsolicited feelings there as well.