Work Text:
The Ghost of Christmas Past
Tommy was laying in bed when a notification pulled him from his YouTube trance. He had been watching Techno again. Watching, but not seeing, as the older man knocked a prot 4 opponent off a wool bridge with his fist. It was December 5th, twenty days until Christmas- something the teen was reminded of constantly. His neighbor’s bright Christmas lights spilled through the curtains on his window and lit his room up a soft red, probably the only decent thing to come of the holiday.
He sighed and turned his thoughts back to the video, trying to engage himself in it but failing. The holidays were always hard for the teen and his thoughts were never kind to him. No one was home and Tommy’s insecurities were only trumped by his boredom.
That’s why when Tommy’s phone pinged softly, and the notification for Discord was displayed as a message from Phil, he didn’t hesitate to click on it. Having nothing to do was a common foe for the teen, and his friends always managed to alleviate it when needed.
Dadza today at 11:21 PM
Hey Tommy what do you want for Christmas?
Surprise at the question caught him off guard and Tommy stared at the message for a long while, numbness morphing into confusion. Why was Phil asking about Christmas presents? The man said it so causally it was as though they exchanged gifts every year. Tommy huffed a little, his thumb lingering over his phone’s keyboard. After a minute or so of trying to come up with a reply,Tommy settled for something simple and to the point.
TommyInnit [take L’s bitch] today at 23:28 PM
why?
Tommy watched as ‘Dadza is typing...’ disappeared and reappeared more than once before going away completely. The blonde frowned. Did he do something wrong?
The small insecurity of constantly being annoying no matter what he says deepened with every second that passed. Why was he so stupid all the damn time? He can’t do anything right, can’t say anything right. He can’t even answer one fucking question correctly-
Dadza today at 00:02 AM
Because it’s nearly Christmas and I suck at guessing what people like. So what do you want?
Oh. Tommy’s brain and thumb danced as one as he searched for an excuse. He didn’t have a chance to type back, however, before another message appeared.
Dadza today at 00:02 AM
Shit dude does your family even celebrate Christmas? Are you like...Jewish or something?
Tommy felt a small smile play on his face at Phil’s thoughtfulness.
TommyInnit [take L’s bitch] today at 00:03 AM
nah big man we celebrate Christmas
family is catholic but im atheist
Dadza today at 00:03 AM
Oh pog man ok
Sooooo
What do you want?
I won’t shut up until you tell me
Tommy was almost warmed by the sentiment but the ever familiar itch of annoyance at both himself and his newfound situation muffled it. Phil has never asked him this before. Hell, they’ve never gotten each other anything before. Tommy didn’t want a gift and he sure as hell didn’t want to have to give one to anyone else either. The sooner Christmas was over the better. He can’t handle all this fake being nice shit just because it’s a holiday and he’s expected to. A voice that sounded oddly like big man Wilbur himself replied to his sentiments.
You’re worse than the fucking Grinch.
“Oh fuck off Wilbur.” Tommy muttered out loud as he turned off his phone and sat it down next to him, effectively shutting off every light in his dark room save the faint red glow. Tommy adjusted so he was flat on his back, staring at his ceiling as stress caused slight nausea to come over him.
“It’s just a question Tom, get over yourself.”
Frustration at how stupid and unreasonable he was being caused him to tear up. Shit like this always, always happens. A holiday shouldn’t take him out in the way it does, but every light, every tree he sees each year sends him spiraling deeper and deeper. He grabbed hold of his blonde locks and squeezed as hard as he could, fist clenched tight enough to shake as his back jaw clenched in response.
A small idea popped into his head, and some of his stress momentarily alleviated.
Just tell him you want, like, more diamonds in Minecraft or something.
He knew Phil wouldn’t take that as an answer but he opted to try it anyways. Maybe he’d get the hint and stop asking.
Let go of your hair dumbass and send the text.
“Fuck off.” Despite his protesting, Tommy slowly unraveled himself and once again grabbed his phone, his head and hands still throbbing from his short tantrum.
TommyInnit (take L’s bitch) today at 00:12 AM
more diamonds on mc final answer
He shut his phone off again and waited for the text alert. This proved to be useless as Phil responded immediately.
Dadza today at 00:12 AM
Haha no Tommy
You’re sixteen
Teens like presents
Dadza today at 00:13
Tommy what the fuck do you want for Christmas you gremlin
Tommy felt tears prick his eyes in frustration. He doesn’t want a gift. He doesn’t want Phil to keep questioning him and he doesn’t fucking want bloody Christmas. He felt bad about not responding to his friend but he felt worse thinking about the question. Tommy turned his phone off with a sigh and pushed his ringer to the right, silencing the other texts or calls he’s sure to receive soon. Phil would have told Wilbur and then God knows who else will hear about his random refusal to request a gift.
More frustration built alongside his insecurities as he realized he was being ungrateful for having such wonderful friends whom he loved and looked up to. Now he was mad that he was mad. Layer upon layer of anger, regret, and self-loathing cloaked him until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Tommy shot up from his bed and looked around his room for something to do? throw? He didn’t fucking know anymore.
Wilburs voice rung out again.
Calm down Toms.
Stopping in the middle of his room, Tommy took a deep breath and counted to thirty.
You’re ok. You’re ok. Remember what your therapist said you should do when you’re overwhelmed?
Tommy’s head turned to stare at his monitor on instinct, the familiar itch to play returning with a vengeance. He looked at his alarm clock unsurely. Eh, his parents wouldn’t be home for another few hours at the least (they never fucking are). Enough time for a late night stream then? His viewers would be pleased. His mods however? yeah...not so much.
A small ping of guilt pricked at his brain again for springing a stream on them but he forced it away. It’s their job- and technically they don’t have to get on if they can’t.
Tommy flipped the light on in his room- the brightness of it nearly blinding the teenager after spending countless hours in the dark of night. After a moment of readjusting he began setting up. It didn’t take long to work his way around a stream anymore- he had only been doing it for most of his life- and suddenly he was ready to start. His hand hovered over the face cam button for a moment before he shook his head and turned it on. His chat would be more worried if it was off rather than him just looking tired. His playlist was already on, and he ruffled his hair quickly before plastering on a smile and clicking to officially go live.
It took all but ten seconds for a hundred viewers to hit, then thousands, and within two minutes Tommy hit the comfortable number of 20k. He was sure more would come in just minutes, but for now Tommy was surrounded by an entire community of people that (mostly) love him. His fake smile was slowly turning into a real one as the chat poured in, nearly too quickly to read.
late night stream? pog??
Tommy go to bed
gremlin hiii
BIG MAN INNIT
TOMMY POG
HELLO
rip mods
Tommmyyyy
ELLO
Tommy’s smile widened into a fully genuine one as he fell into the comfortable routine of greeting his viewers while he loaded into the smp.
Checking who was on beforehand, Tommy knew that Sapnap and bbh were there with Quackity and Karl- damn even at different time zones Tommy knew their sleep schedule was fucked- and he opted to stay away from their vc for now.
A small glow emitted from his bed and Tommy realized he was getting a call.
“Erm chat- one second I-“ Tommy pulled off his headset and slid his chair over to his phone, grabbing it before returning to his prior position. He was gone all of ten seconds but chat was already spamming TommyNotFound?
He pulled it back on swiftly.
“No I’m here chat, don’t worry.” Tommy smirked as he said the next bit under his breath but intended for chat to hear. “You’re all fucking idiots...”
He looked down at his vibrating phone at the caller ID.
Wilbur Soot
FaceTime...
What the fuck? Right now? He must know I’m streaming.
Tommy’s smile dropped a bit as he hesitated to answer. Chat started going wild, spamming emotes and questions about the caller.
“It’s- it’s Wil. Hold on-“ Tommy fumbled with his phone for a second before turning his friend up for the stream to hear. He held the phone up for a moment to the camera before putting it back down in a more comfortable position.
Tommy hastily clicked accept and Wilbur’s face brightened up his screen.
His voice rung out over the speaker. “Hey big man Innit how are you today?”
Amusement flickered immediately and Tommy’s natural sarcasm was brought out by his “stream bravado” as Techno so humbly called it.
“Hey look who it is chat! The ghost of Christmas past himself!” He smiled at his chat’s response to his lame joke before turning his attention back to his friend.
“So what’s up, man?”
Wilbur was still smiling at him, but hesitation graced his features now, and even without a proper cause, Tommy’s stomach churned at the implication.
The older man’s voice was overly cheery as he spoke, loud enough for the stream to hear.
“I wanted to say hi to your stream of course!”
On cue, Tommy turned the phone back to the camera, trying to adjust the focus.
“What’s up everyone?”
Tommy allowed his smile to drop as his face was no longer visible, and his thoughts wandered as Wilbur made small talk with his chat. They were going insane, immediately turning their attention on him with everything from a polite “hello” to the deepest insults.
“-my. Tommy!” He snapped his attention back to the phone, a properly formed expression back on his face.
He gave an exaggerated eye roll. “Whatttt?” Tommy’s voice dripped with a fake whine as he set the phone on his desk, Wilbur getting a definite double chin angle, and started having his character run around aimlessly on screen. When he didn’t get a response, Tommy looked down at his screen and found Wilbur gesturing with his hands.
“What- what the fuck are you do-“ Wilbur waved his hands in a “shut up” motion before slapping a hand to his forehead.
Tommy’s eyes widened as he quickly shook his head and muted himself. He cringed at what his chat would say, but put it out of his mind for now.
He opted to leave his camera on- he didn’t want to cause a scene. He kept running around in the game, trying to keep his now 70k+ viewers.
His smile was on display as he spoke apprehensively. “Hey Wil, everything okay big man? I’ve muted now.”
Wilbur wasted no time. “Was about to ask you the same. I spoke with Phil. And it’s late. Why are you streaming?”
Shit. Tommy cringed at being called out, but gave an answer anyways. It wasn’t fully accurate, but he wasn’t lying either.
He didn’t make eye contact with the phone as he spoke. “Couldn’t sleep. You know how it is. Even Sapnap is on, and it’s like-“ Tommy thought for a second, “oh, it’s like seven for him.”
His smile fell once again as he huffed a quick “whatever” under his breath.
He knew the question was coming before it was asked, but it hurt to hear anyways.
“Where are your parents Tommy?”
The teen closed his eyes as he answered, attempting to keep his tone nonchalant.
“I’m technically an adult Wilbur, I don’t need-“
Anger lit up the older man’s tone. “I fucking knew it. I’m calling your mum.”
A sudden tight panic seized the teen as he flipped his camera off with one motion. His chat doubled in speed, but he payed it no attention. He can deal with that mess later.
“The fuck you are Wilbur. I can take care of myself, dickhead.” Anger betrayed his fear and Wilbur paused his actions to speak seriously and softly.
“Phil told me about the gift, Tommy. He only asked me because he wanted to know what to get you and thought you just felt guilty. But I know you Toms. What’s going on?”
Tommy’s throat closed at the confession and he quickly ended the call, cutting off any thoughts, and ignoring the next one as it came through directly after. A quick glance at his worried chat and steady viewer count normally would have made him feel blessed. Today he just felt guilty.
He heard a couple of Twitter notifications came through, then several discord messages.
Shit shit shit
Tommy grabbed his phone and hurled it onto his bed, the mobile unsurprisingly launching into the nearby wall from the momentum.
“God-“ Tommy began to stand to go pick it up but remembered what he was doing. The teen quickly scrubbed at his face with his hands before turning his camera and mic back on, playing his classic outro music and giving his short speech. He thanked them all for watching and apologized for the late and short stream. He didn’t even read chat like he normally would before ending it and closing Twitch altogether.
Bloody hell.
“Fuck.” Tommy walked to his phone and picked it up, checking it over for cracks. When he found none, Tommy couldn’t help but be relieved. His parents would have killed him if they found out he threw his phone.
Hesitantly- and more calmly now- Tommy flipped his phone over to read the notifications.
After the brief summary, he opened Discord first.
Greatest Musician today at 02:03 AM
tommy please pick up the phone
i wont call your mum
we just want to know whats going on
vc in five?
please?
Tommy watched as Wilbur stopped typing, the please finally ending his resolve to not respond.
TommyInnit [take L’s bitch] today at 02:04 AM
ok
Tommy took in a shaky breath before closing the app and clicking Twitter. Before it even loaded however, Tommy swiped the app away. He didn’t want to deal with the questions and toxicity he knew would he would find there. He chose instead to clean up his appearance a bit.
How did this become such a mess
With nothing else to do to pass the time, Tommy shut his phone off and turned back to his monitor. He switched to his discord there and checked the vc. Even though it had only been a minute or two since Wilbur’s message, he could see that Phil, Wil, and Techno were all on. He made sure his equipment was working before clearing his throat and joining, nervousness causing him to fidget in his seat.
The classic ding signaled his appearance and the soft chatter of Wilbur end Phil stopped suddenly. The two had their webcams on, Techno’s his classic character icon.
Phil spoke first, looking directly into his camera with a warm concern softening his tone. “Hey man.”
Tommy gave a strained smile as he nodded at the oldest in their little group. The other two followed suit with a small “hey” and “what’s up”.
The awkwardness of their situation was not lost on any of them as they sat there in silence, the occasional click from Techno’s keyboard lighting up his icon.
After a whole two minutes in, Wilbur started.
His voice was tight as he asked, “So what’s going on Toms?”
The teen’s throat was still dry from their previous encounter as he tried to come up with something to say to the man.
“I- nothing. I just haven’t been able to sleep great recently and decided to stream. It’s not a big deal.” He looked down from their faces and picked at the thread of his shirt, pulling it until it was twice as long as before.
At complete silence, he risked a glance up only to see the staring even harder at him. Surprise lit up the teen’s features as he suddenly realized Techno’s camera was not only on, but that he was also staring at the boy.
Tommy suddenly got self-conscious at all three of his hero’s analyzing him. He crossed his arms over his stomach unconsciously and narrowed his eyes.
“What the fuck are you lot looking at?”
Wilbur’s next words caught him off guard enough to actually let out a small laugh.
“Did you fucking get LED’s?”
Phil chuckled then too and Techno huffed out a laugh similar to Tommy’s own. The tension was lost in the moment and they fell into a comfortable silence. Wilbur’s earlier question hung in the air, though, and Tommy’s dread soon returned.
He didn’t have to wait long when Wilbur spoke only moments later. “So?”
Tommy’s hands clammed up as he spoke, unsure and with a fake smile. “No it’s my neighbor’s lights act-“
“You know that’s not what I meant Tommy.”
The teen gave an awkward chuckle. “You asked if I had-“
“Thomas!” Tommy’s head snapped to attention as Wilbur addressed him, a small feeling of betrayal showing in his eyes. Techno’s clicking stopped altogether and Phil watched wearily. Wilbur’s own face seemed to flicker with something, but remained mostly stoic.
Memories of his name being spoken in that exact manner forced their way up in his brain and Tommy’s breathing picked up as he spoke, hurt and anger present. “I told you I don’t- Don’t call me that. You have no right-!”
Suddenly Wilbur’s voice boomed over his, and the teen turned off his camera for the second time that night.
“I have every fucking right!” Tommy’s breath hitched and he thought he could hear Phil gasp quietly. Silence rang loud for a moment. Wil’s own expression mirrored their oldest and he quickly stuttered out an apology.
“Tom’s...hey man I’m sorry. Ok? I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Tommy kept his camera off and he wiped away a small tear that had rolled down his cheek. Everything was too much. All because he couldn’t even fake wanting a fucking Christmas present.
When he didn’t respond, Wilbur continued. “I’m- we’re worried about you. This isn’t the first time you’ve had an...issue...and we just want to check on you.”
He could hear Techno hum in agreement while Phil nodded his consensus. A stillness settled over the call, and after a moment of trying to gather his thoughts, Tommy glanced up through watery eyes and looked at his friends. Exhaustion completely broke down his defensive state as he saw the genuine expression that each of them wore.
Something clicked then. Something that hadn’t before. The teen scrubbed his eyes raw and his throat once again tightened, this time for a different reason. He choked out a short laugh as any anger, frustration, and insecurity melted away.
He had been so caught up in his own hatred for Christmas, for himself, that he had forgotten that they cared about him even when it felt like no one else ever did. He had forgotten what love looks like even when it literally yelled at him.
Tommy turned on his camera once again and gave a tearful smile, this one genuine. Wil and Phil returned it, Techno’s face blinking off of the screen- just his icon remaining.
Phil gave a short laugh just in time for Techno to completely leave the call. “Where the fuck is he going?”
Tommy felt a tug of worry and confusion as his hero dropped out, right at his most vulnerable moment.
The moment seemed to completely shatter as Wilbur responded with, “Same place as me.” and also dropped out the call, leaving just Phil and Tommy. A small ping on Phil’s screen caught Tommy’s attention as the man read the alert and put his phone away soon after.
Phil looked extremely apologetic as Tommy’s heart fell. “You gotta go too?”
The man cringed but nodded, saying he was sorry before quickly hangin up the call, leaving Tommy alone in the vc.
What just happened?
The situation had just changed so quickly that it left his head spinning. Was it his fault? Did they think he was being too childish?
Numbness and disbelief overcame the teen as he just stared at his lone screen. Was it a cruel joke? Had they even cared?
Of course they care. There has to be an explanation.
Tommy sunk deeper into his chair as he racked his brain for something, anything. Minutes passed and he was left with nothing.
The loud noise of his doorbell ringing jolted him from his trance like state and his eyes stung as Tommy realized they hadn’t been opened in well over a minute.
Fuck. His parents were home.
Tommy sighed wearily as he made his way downstairs, removing his headset and gently setting it down on his desk. He walked into the living room and opened the door, stepping aside for his mother to stumble in.
After a second a quiet chuckle sounded from next to him and Tommy whipped his head up so fast he would swear later that it gave him whiplash. Standing in the doorway was not his tipsy mum, but Phil. Even in the dark, though, Tommy could make out another figure behind him.
Wilbur.
Surprise shook Tommy to his core as he stepped back from the older man, his heart pounding in his chest.
“How...?” Tommy couldn’t find the words as Phil stepped inside, revealing that the man behind him was, in fact, not Wilbur Soot.
Tommy’s voice rose three notches as he yelled. “What the fuck?! Technoblade?!”
The teen thought he was going to pass out at this point and he moved to sit down on the sofa.
“How- when- what the fuck.”
Techno laughed at the boy as he fumbled for words.
“Surprise!”
Phil looked fondly at Tommy as he laughed at his expression.
Tommy looked around the room, realization dawning on him. “Wilbur said he was going to the same place-“
“BOO MOTHER FUCKER!”
Tommy screamed and leapt up from the couch like a cat scared of its own shadow, running behind Techno who just watched him with amusement.
Wilbur stood behind the couch laughing so hard his eyes were watering. “You- you should have seen the look on your face!”
Tommy frowned, but a smile crept up his face anyways.
“That was fucking mean you dickhead. How the fuck did you even get in my house.”
Wilbur was still laughing too hard to properly answer, he just pointed weakly at the door mat. Tommy understood immediately.
“So you fucking stole my fucking key did you?” Tommy still had a shit eating grin on his face, though, and Wilbur began laughing even harder.
“What if I had heard you, huh? I- I could have stabbed you or some shit. It’s like fucking 3 am or something.”
Techno chucked at that and Phil joined him. The four of them laughed for a solid few minutes before it finally trailed off.
Another question poked at the teen’s brain, though. “We were just in a call. How did you get here so quickly?”
Wilbur patted where he was now sitting on the couch and Tommy followed his silent command. He sat next to the man and leaned into the sofa, having only a moment to himself before he was forcibly pulled to sit shoulder to shoulder with Wilbur. The musician wrapped an arm behind the teen and gave him an affectionate squeeze.
“Man we were all at Phil’s. Did you notice? I even brought my clock so it wouldn’t be too obvious.”
The teen looked at the other two and they nodded, sheepish smiles on both their faces.
“Fuck, Techno, you’re American bitch. Why are you here?”
The man shrugged, his smile never dropping as he responded, “My life’s dream was to see a child in person.”
Tommy grinned at the joke. His surprise then doubled when the God of Expressing Emotion himself turned more somber. Everyone in the room seemed to quiet at his words.
“No, actually I wanted to come see everyone. You were on my list to visit next. It just worked out that I was here when Wilbur messaged me about stuff.” Wil nodded from beside him and turned to look at the teen better.
“Look, man, I know talking about this stuff isn’t easy. The little you’ve told me about is enough to make anyone feel alone,” Wilbur shushed him as Tommy began to argue, “but you’re not.”
Tommy looked down at his hands. Wilbur continued. “I don’t know why Christmas is a touchy topic with you- I honestly hadn’t even noticed until today and I’m very sorry for that.”
He was once again shushed before he could refute the statement. “But I just want you to know that you’re loved- and not just by us ok? All of our friends adore you and want what’s best for you.”
Phil and Techno nodded, moving to sit on the now cramped couch with the two.
Phil spoke next. “I know that we haven’t always been there for you.”
Tommy actually got a few words out this time before having a finger physically shoved over his mouth.
“It’s not your job-“
The finger was removed as Tommy glared at Wil. He just grinned back. Tommy’s focus was bright back to Phil with his next words.
“I know it’s not technically my job, but you’re like my son, Tommy. And if you’ll let us...” The older man looked around at the other two occupants. They nodded.
“If you’ll let us, we would like to give you a proper Christmas.”
Apprehension shifted over the teen as he fidgeted, the lack of decorations in their house suddenly very evident.
“Look it won’t be perfect. But we’ll be there. And so will some of our friends. You don’t have to say yes but Tommy-“
“Wilby, that sounds amazing.”
Wilbur’s eyes snapped to the teen as they filled with tears at the nickname.
“Yeah?”
Tommy smiled his own watery smile and nodded.
“Yeah.”
Phil let out a victory “hell yeah!” and Techno muttered something light under his breath.
Tommy chuckled at their reactions as he thought back to earlier. He may not have perfect parents or a perfect life, but he had a found family that he would never trade for the world. He had been lost but they had found him, and just in time to save him from another horrible Christmas.
The thought made him laugh even harder and at their questioning looks he said, “I guess you really are the ghost of Christmas past.”
Wilbur laughed alongside him at the stupidness of the whole thing and not even twenty minutes later, the three of them ended up in his bedroom, falling asleep at weird and awkward angles on his bed together.
As Tommy’s eyes finally shut he couldn’t help but think “we should have done a sleep stream.”
END