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Rey steps off the ramp and into the sand. Her feet sink into the soft material, as they have done a thousand times before, back in another life, but when she lifts her foot the sand clutches at her and each step feels more difficult than it used to, before her life became so heavy.
The desert wind rasps against her face, sand stinging her eyes and clogging her nostrils, and she hardly feels it.
She slaps a button on the pylon and the Falcon's ramp begins to rise. Better to keep the sand out here in the desert where it belongs, because if she's honest then she's not sure if she'll be able to muster the strength to clean the hold later, before take-off.
Just like her steps in the sand everything feels a little more difficult since Exegol. Grief, it seems, has a weight.
Rey grips the cloth bundle that contains Luke and Leia's sabers tighter to her chest and starts walking away from the ship.
Before her a pourstone dome rises out of the flat landscape. It was once painted white, but now the paint is chipped and worn and the gray underneath is starting to show. Next to it she sees the low rim of a wall, and the bent pylons of the dysfunctional vaporators.
Of these Rey takes note. If she's lucky she'll be able to fix them, and get some water to refill the Falcon's tanks, or just to take a bath. If she's unlucky, well then at least she'll have something to do. Something to take her mind of things. To take her mind of B...
She stops the thought before it can fully form. Too much pain lies down that path. And besides, she doesn't even know if she'll stay at all. It’s easier not to have plans. Not to think.
All she knows for now is that the Force called her here. To this place.
Tatooine. The Lars homestead. She really doesn't know much about it. When she'd called Chewie to tell him that she'd need the Falcon a little longer, she'd told him where she was going and all he'd said is that this is where Luke came from.
And Anakin.
Darth Vader.
Through him, the Skywalkers.
And, ultimately, Ben.
She bites back a sob, trying desperately to think of something else, anything, but nothing will come, except the way he looked at her in the cathedral on Exegol, before he faded away. So bright. So happy.
She'd been happy, for that perfect moment.
And then the Force had taken it all away.
Her knees hit the sand, then her elbows and forehead, and she just crouches in a fetal position, weeping into the arid ground. Her tears disappear as fast as her body can make them, but she knows that there's plenty more where they came from.
After a while the tears stop, not because she's done crying, but because she's too tired to make more. Getting up seems like a big ask, so she just lies there, unmoving, feeling her lungs expand with each breath, slower and more measured now that she's no longer sobbing, and the warmth from the ground seep into her bones. She is always cold now, it seems. There is a core of ice in her heart that will never thaw, even in the baking heat of the twin suns, but here in the hot sand she feels at least a little warm.
After what might have been ten minutes, or an hour, she rises to her knees and feels sand sticking to the tear tracks on her cheeks. She leaves it there. Wiping away sand in a desert is as useless as emptying the ocean with a spoon. Or defeating the Final Order singlehandedly. Or crying enough tears to make the pain stop. There is always more.
Instead she closes her eyes and dips into the Force. It called her here, now it is time to tell her what it wants, exactly.
Each breath brings more awareness of her surroundings. She feels the wide expanse of the desert around her. It seems lifeless at first, but as she dips deeper into the Force she feels the life-force of the small lizards that live in the cracks in the pourstone walls, the sandflies that are buzzing around the courtyard below and the moss and grass that is still stubbornly holding on in the long-abandoned hydroponic garden somewhere below her feet.
She smiles, faintly, finding some comfort in the fact that this place is not as sterile as one would think. Life in the desert is hard, few know that better than her, but it will find a way.
Then her awareness is drawn somewhere else, not far from where she is standing.
Here, the Force seems to say, this is the place.
She opens her eyes and frowns. The spot seems indistinguishable from its surroundings. Just a flat patch of sand, still slightly compacted from a time when this was a place where people lived, and not in any way remarkable. But this is where the Force wants her to go, so she does.
She gets up and her knees creak in protest. She must have been sitting here longer than she'd thought. Picking up the bundle with the sabers, she hobbles over to that unremarkable patch of dirt and sinks down again.
The Force tells her that she should bury the sabers here.
Rey frowns, unwrapping the bundle of orange cloth in her hands, revealing the two sabers nestled inside. Their former owners might be gone, but the weapons are still perfectly functional. The scavenger in her bristles at the idea of discarding something that still has a use. Finn will need a saber at some point. And after him there might be others. Rey isn't so naive to think that she and Finn are the last two Force-sensitives in the Galaxy and even if they are, more are bound to be born eventually.
Not to her, that future has been taken from her when the other part of her soul died, but maybe to Finn and Rose. Or someone that she doesn't know, out there, on one of the myriad planets that she hasn't seen yet. There are others out there, she knows it in her soul, and sooner or later they will find the last Jedi. And she will train them, to the best of her ability. Not as a Jedi, because those days are over, and not as Sith, because while she feels the darkness within her, that is not the path - but as Force-users, neither light nor dark, but balanced.
The Force tugs at her mind, gently, luring her out of her thoughts and back to the present, and Rey sighs. She doesn't quite know why she is doing this... the bidding of the Force. If she's honest with herself, then she has to admit that being this cosmic energy's errand girl has brought her nothing but grief. The Force has used her and spat her out, worse for wear, without ever giving her anything in return.
On the contrary, the Force has done nothing but take things from her. Her freedom. Her choices. Luke, her master. Leia, who could have been the mother that she never had.
Ben. Her love. Her future.
Like a greedy, selfish toddler, the Force had taken and taken and taken and never once given, so why should she do its bidding now?
Another tug at her mind, gentle. There's meaning there, even though there are no words.
Have faith.
Rey narrows her eyes, sighing. There are very few things left alive that she will trust, but she supposes maybe she can trust the Force one last time.
She rewraps the sabers and places her hands over the cloth, concentrating.
Be with me.
She breathes in deeply.
Be with me.
The sabers begin to sink into the sand.
Be with me.
She has said these words many times in the past months. In the cathedral on Exegol, days after the final battle. In the temple on Ahch-To, and then just a few hours later in the darkside nexus below the island. Each time she had been searching for her Bond-mate and each time the Force, and with it Ben, had remained silent. As if he'd never even existed. As if the Bond was nothing but a lie.
But there's an indent in her heart that is shaped like him and it is proof that he was real, that he was there, and that once they touched hands across a fire.
Be with me.
She has whispered these words into the void so many times that she has given up all hope that he might answer, and yet, when she feels a stirring in the Force, for a moment her heart soars and she is certain that this time will be different. Her eyes shoot up, a broad smile on her face, but it immediately falls when she sees who has come to her.
"Where...," Luke grumbles, glowing faintly blue as he looks about, then he stiffens with recognition, "Tatooine? Why the kriff are we on Tatooine?" Rey! What are you doing?"
He takes a few steps towards her, then stops, his eyebrows have all but disappeared into his hairline and his lips are set in a scowl.
"Are you burying the sabers, Rey? Here?!" He throws up his arms. "Why, Rey? I hate sand. It gets everywhere, why would I want to be buried here? I did everything to get off this hellhole. Everything, Rey! What the kriff?"
Continue, the Force whispers in her ear.
Rey obeys, ignoring Luke. It is not that she is unhappy to see her former master, but neither is she overly pleased. He refused to teach her. He hurt Ben. Has refused to help until it was too little, too late. If Luke had been a little less, well, Luke, a lot of things might have gone different and Ben might be here with her. She knows that is not entirely fair, that the forces that conspired against Ben and his family where stronger than one old Jedi, not matter how stubborn he might be, but it's not easy to simply forgive Luke.
Be with me.
"Where am I?" This time Rey doesn't hope, and as such isn't disappointed when the voice she hears isn't Ben's velvety baritone, but a woman's. And while it is younger than Rey has known it, less burdened, she still recognizes it immediately.
"What is this place?" Leia looks around, disdain etched on her face until her eyes fall on her brother. "Luke?" She rushes forward and grabs her brother's hands. "What.. where are we?"
"Tatooine," her twin growls.
"What? Why?"
"Ask her," Luke points an accusing finger at Rey.
Leia's lips twitch, expression torn between delight and confusion.
"Rey? What... how... why are we here?"
It was easy to ignore Luke, but Leia is a different matter. There's so many things that Rey wishes she had told the general when she was still alive.
There is still Light in Ben. He can still return. Don't give up. He is still fighting against the dark. He is so strong.
I love him.
She hasn't said any of these things and now is not the time to say them either, but neither can she remain silent.
"I am burying the sabers," she says, and when Leia's face remains confused, she adds, "to lay you both to rest. The Force demands it."
"But why," Leia shakes her head, "I mean, I've never even been here. What is this place?"
"It's my uncle's farm," Luke interjects, "it's where I grew up. I hate it here."
Leia looks around again.
"You... grew up here? In this dump? It's..." she falters, "I'm sorry, Luke, it's terrible."
"Right?!" Luke flaps his arms like a flightless bird.
"Rey! You can't bury us here!"
"I'm sorry," Rey mumbles, blushing, "but I have to. The Force..."
"Kriff the Force!" Both twins shout in unison.
Rey just ducks her head and tries to sink deeper into the Force, to regain her equilibrium, but with Luke and Leia both blaring into her ears, demanding that she take the sabers elsewhere, it is impossible to concentrate. Neither does she notice another Force signature approach.
Meanwhile the twins have forgotten all about their erstwhile student and are busy tearing in on each other.
"You look well," Luke offers.
"You look old!"
"Well, I could say the same," he grouses.
"But you didn't," Leia retorts. "Just like you conveniently left out a few other things."
Rey is only half paying attention, trying as she is to sink back into mediation, when a third voice speaks.
"There's been no one for so long. Who are you?"
Rey looks up to see an old woman, leading an etobi by the reins. She normally wouldn't have been able to get so close without Rey noticing, but the twins are kicking up quite the ruckus.
(You have SO MUCH to explain," Rey faintly hears Leia screech.
"Me?" Luke points at his chest, all innocence.
"Yes, you!" She pokes him in the chest, hard. "You almost murdered my son!")
Rey squints, trying to drown out the twins, while the crone seems to take no notice of their incessant whining, they are - after all - just ghosts.
"I'm Rey."
("What?! You...!" Luke flails, searching for a suitable retort. "You got him stabbed!"
"What?"
"On Kef Bir," Luke roars, triumphant, "don't think I didn't see that!"
"You gave up on him first! That's what led to this mess!"
"There was darkness in him!"
"He is my SON!"
"You weren't there!"
"I wish I had been, you nerf herder!")
The old woman frowns. She clearly hasn't heard of the battle of Exegol or of the return of Palpatine or of the last Jedi, for Rey's answer isn't enough.
"Rey who?"
("Well, you weren't and now I'm dead." Luke snarls. "I hope you're happy."
"Maybe I am," Leia crosses her arms in front of her. "And anyway, it's still all your fault.")
The old woman is still looking for an answer and as innocent as the question is, it stumps Rey for a second or two.
Rey who indeed.
Rey of Jakku. Rey Nobody. Rey, the Last Jedi. Rey, the Hero of the Resistance. Rey Palpatine, she supposes, but immediately discards the thought... no, never that.
("Is it? He was your son!"
"Your student."
"He was too dark."
"He was a child."
"Not when he fell."
"No, but when he came to you!"
"When you abandoned him, you mean."
"Oh, don't get me started on abandoning anyone, Master Luke.")
Her eyes fall to Luke and Leia, both were once her masters, and the two ghosts seem to come back to the present and stop to gaze at their former student. Leia, still somewhat huffing in agitation, nods at her, and Rey feels the other woman's affection though the Force and even Luke manages a small smile. Rey feels loved, even if it is not the kind of love she craves. She had some form of belonging with these people. It wasn't quite right, but it wasn't wrong either.
She smiles at Luke and Leia, before turning back to the crone.
"Rey Skywalker."
Then it's like a star ignited nearby. Something like a shock wave sweeps though the Force. Similar than when Luke and Leia appeared and yet wholly different. Ben's Force signature has always seemed to blaze as hot and intensely as a sun to her, but it seems even stronger now, perhaps due to its long absence from her life. Like she's suddenly looking into a bright light after a prolonged period of darkness.
Her heart stutters and she seems to have developed some trouble breathing as a tall, dark figure rimmed with a faint blue glow materializes a few feet away, just at the edge of the courtyard.
"Really, Rey? REALLY?!" He roars, waving his long arms about and going from not there to full on anger in a matter of milliseconds. "Rey Skywalker? Skywalker?! That's the only name you could come up with? No other names come to mind, Rey?! NONE?! Maybe something shorter? Mhm? Any ideas? Any at all? For kriff’s sake, Rey SKYWALKER?!"
"Ben...!" Leia calls, eyes trained on her son, only to be ignored.
Rey and Ben look at each other. The bond isn't quite open, but Rey still senses that he is surprised to be here, to be looking at her and she... she surely has suddenly turned to stone, because she feels like even the act of drawing breath is too much now, let alone the act of setting one foot in front of the other to close this intolerable distance between them.
"I am so sorry," Leia tries again, oblivious of the moment that they are having, "when I reached out to you on Kef Bir... and you got stabbed, I mean, it was Rey who stabbed you, let's be clear, right... I didn't... I mean, it wasn't me wielding that saber, but... oh, Force, you know what I mean, Ben. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to distract you and you almost died!"
Ben lifts a hand, index finger extended, asking for silence, without even looking at his mother. His eyes are trained on Rey and Rey alone.
And Rey... Rey thinks she might be loosing her mind for where there was nothing now there is Ben's Force signature, slotting neatly into her own and where there was a hole, an absence as painful as a wound to the gut, (and she knows how that hurts, she’s felt it through the Bond) there is his presence now, soothing the ache in her soul.
Before she knows it she is running, sprinting to close the distance between them and she vaguely thinks that she has no idea if Ben is solid, like Luke had been on Ahch-To, or if her mad dash will leave her crumbled on the floor of the courtyard some 7 or 8 feet below, before she leaps into his arms and then her face collides with his broad chest.
"Ben."
It should have been more forceful, because surely no one has ever felt something as powerful as she feels now, with her nose smushed into the valley between his pectorals, but all that comes out is a faint whisper.
"Ben," she tries again, just as weakly.
"Shh," his arms have come up to encircle her and one of his hands reaches up to stroke the nape of her neck. "I got you, sweetheart."
She feels a breath ghost over her scalp and just like that she's sobbing again, soaking his black sweater with her hot tears. He mumbles into her hair and she only catches every third word or so.
"Got you... safe... cyar'ika."
Rey only sobs harder and Ben just stands at the edge of the courtyard and holds her tight. After a while her tears dry up, but she still doesn't want to move, instead opting to draw deep, shaky breaths through the fabric before her, getting as much of his scent as she can.
He just waits for her to be ready.
When she finally draws back and looks up at him he gives her a lopsided smile. She just knows it is the most beautiful thing she will ever see.
"Hey."
Rey swallows.
"Hey," she says, then: "You came back."
"I said I would."
She nods, absorbing the information. She becomes vaguely aware of Luke and Leia hovering nearby, but they don't seem relevant right now. Only Ben is. She leans back into his chest and he lets her.
"Rey?"
"Mhm?"
"Where are we?"
"Tatooine," she mumbles. "The Lars homestead."
"Huh," she feels him shrug, "so that's what this place looks like."
"Disappointed?"
He shrugs again.
"Not really. I knew this was a hellhole," he pauses. "I was afraid you were back on Jakku."
Rey draws back and frowns.
"Why would I go back there?"
He blushes and averts his eyes, which she can't have, so she gently reaches up and touches his cheek, turning his head back towards her.
"I... just thought that you might go back. Because," his blush deepens, "you were waiting for me."
Rey sighs.
"I was. But I can do that anywhere. No need to go back there."
He nods. His hair falls into his eyes and she brushes it back behind his ear. It is as soft as she thought it would be.
"Good," he ineffectually pats her shoulder, "that is good. You should live your life."
She beams at him broadly and sucks her lower lip between her teeth.
"I intend to."
"Good," Ben is still nodding and while his face is turned towards her, his eyes are shifting every which way. "That's... good. That's what I meant to tell you."
"Well," she winks, "you did."
"Yeah," he shifts, and his hand pulls at her shoulder, gently pushing her away a few inches. "And I wanted to say goodbye."
He swallows.
"Properly."
Her smile falters, then plunges, alongside her heart.
"WHAT?!"
"I..." he lifts his hand to rake through his hair. "I am glad that I have this chance, now, before the Bond closes... to say goodbye."
"Why would you...?"
Then it dawns on her.
"Oh, oh hell no!"
He takes a step back from her sudden outburst and she is right there, following him, stabbing at his stomach. At another time she might have been interested to feel how firm his muscles are, but right now she only feels white-hot rage.
"I know exactly what you are thinking, Ben Solo!" she says, punctuating her words with angry pokes. "You're thinking that you deserve to be dead. That I'm better off without you! That," and here she pushes, firmly, with both hands, making him stumble backwards until his back hits the pourstone of the entrance dome, "that you can just slink back into the Force and I'll be a good little Jedi and go on with my life like nothing ever happened between us because you are too damn dark and broken to deserve me!"
Out of the corner of her eye she sees Leia perk up when she mentions her relationship with Ben, and at the same time Luke flinches, but she doesn't have time to deal with that. Before her, Ben swallows nervously.
"I, uh, wouldn't have put it that way, exactly," he begins to say, but it's her turn now, he can shut up for a bit.
"How else would you put it?" She shakes her head. "That you were going to give me space? That I deserve more? That I will be happier with someone else? It doesn't matter. I can feel it, you're going to leave. Leave me alone, just like everyone else."
He flinches.
"But you know what?" Rey doesn't wait for his answer. "I won't let you."
Ben's eyes fly up, meeting hers. They are rimmed with tears and full of guilt.
"Rey... it's not like I have a choice. This," he points to himself, "I don't know why the Force allowed this, but I am still only a ghost."
He reaches up to stroke her cheek.
"I'm not really back. You know that." He touches her chest, just above her sternum. "You can feel it, here. I'm still dead. This is just the Force being kind."
The Force isn't kind, she thinks. It is cruel.
Ben seems to share her sentiment, for now tears are properly streaming down his cheeks and he is cupping her face with both hands.
"You know that if it was up to me I would never leave you. I..." he chokes back a sob, "you are everything to me. I would tear down the whole galaxy to be with you. There is nothing in the world that matters more to me than your happiness. I... I love you."
His eyes close and his whole face is awash with agony.
"I will love you, forever."
Her anger is long gone as she leans into his palm. He loves her. He loves her.
He loves her and he is going to leave her.
"Oh hell no," she repeats and his eyes fly open, confused.
"What?"
Rey shakes her head, absentmindedly, her mind already racing.
The Force brought her here. The Force brought Ben here. She knows the Force is cruel, but she doesn't quite think that it would be this cruel to unite the dyad only to tear them apart again.
Because the Force still needs her, and losing Ben, just after finding him again, that would mean the end of Rey of Jakku.
"Think," she whispers to herself.
"Rey?"
Ben seems confused. His hands reach for her, slightly forlorn, as she turns away from him, pacing back and forth.
"This can't be it,"she mumbles.
"Rey, sweetheart," Ben tries again, "listen to me."
"Not right now," she murmurs. "You don't think well under pressure," she adds, remembering a burning throne room.
That shuts him right up.
"This isn't the end of our story." Rey scans the landscape, looking for a way out of this mess, until her eyes fall on Luke.
"Rey," her old master starts to say, "Ben is right."
"Well, that's new," she hears Ben rumble at her back.
"We're all still dead. You should honor the Force's wishes and say your goodbyes."
Rey's eyes flash.
"You always seem so sure what the Force wants," she hisses. "The Force wants me to cut myself off. The Force doesn’t want me to teach you. The Force is giving you false visions. The Force wants Ben to stay dead. Well if that's true why didn't it bring Ben to me on Exegol? Or Ahch-To? I tried there, first. Why here?"
Luke only shrugs helplessly.
Rey wants to snap at him, but then she begins to feel a faint tingle at the back of her mind that she hasn't felt since Kijimi. The Bond is closing.
She spins back to Ben, fast enough to give herself whiplash and fists his sweater.
"Don't go."
"Rey..." his hands come up to cover hers. "I..."
She shakes her head.
"Don't. Go." Her eyes blaze. "If you love me, you won't go. You'll stay right here, with me."
"Rey..." Ben groans and is echoed by Luke.
She ignores both of them.
"What should I do?" Rey's eyes lock on Leia's. They are her son's eyes, she realizes and wonders why she never noticed that.
"Help me," Rey pleads.
Leia seems at a loss.
"Rey... I would if I could."
The tug of the Bond becomes more insistent. Rey knows that they don't have much time. Her mind races feverishly. There has to be something.
"Rey," Ben squeezes her hand, "please, look at me. I need to tell you..."
He just wants to say goodbye. To wash his hands of her and the mess that he made of this life.
She's not having any of it.
"Tell me later," she hisses, "because there's going to be a later and you can tell me then."
"Rey," he tries again, "I'm trying, but I don't know how long I can hold on. I am not strong enough."
And then it strikes her.
He's not strong enough. He wasn't strong enough to bring her back on Exegol and live. She has tried, since then, to claw him back from the Force, but she's also not strong enough, not alone. But she's not alone now. Ben is here, and he is a juggernaut in the Force, every bit as strong and fierce as she is. And with him are Luke and Leia. Weaker than the dyad, but still two of the strongest Force users to ever exist.
She turns to the twins.
"Help us," she pleads. "We can bring him back, together, I know we can."
"We shouldn't interfere with death, Rey."
"Ben did it, for me, on Exegol. It can be done."
"But he's a darksider," Luke tries again.
Rey hears Ben scoff and Leia makes an incoherent sound of protest.
"I think we both know that Light and Dark aren't the same as good and evil, they’re just two sides of the same coin."
Luke isn't swayed by that, so she tries a different track.
"I am dark. You were dark, the night you tried to kill Ben. It's not which side of the Force we use, Luke, but how we use it."
His resistance crumbles, but isn't gone yet.
"It might end us," he offers weakly. "Leia and I, we are nothing but Force energy, if we give too much... we'll be gone."
"He is my son, Luke," Leia scoffs, pushing past her brother, "I don't give a kriff."
She comes to stand before Ben.
"I've failed you before, I won't fail you again."
Ben's lips wobble, holding back more tears, and he nods.
"Luke?" Leia looks to her brother.
"I..."
"Master Luke," Rey doesn't dare to let go of Ben, but she sort of takes an ineffectual step towards Luke, before the tether of Ben's hands draws her to a stop. "I am begging you. We are a dyad in the Force. Two halves of one whole. I am not sure how long one of us can live without the other."
Understanding slowly dawns on Luke.
"You would follow him," he whispers, "into the Force."
Rey nods.
"I don't think I would have much choice, before long I... there's only so long that I can go on without him," she feels Ben's fingers tighten on hers, as her words sink in. "But I also wouldn't want to live without him. I don't think I was made for that."
Her old master nods.
"I see."
He turns to Ben.
"You better be good to her."
"I intend to."
"And stay in the light."
"Mostly, yes."
"And make up for your mistakes."
Ben swallows audibly.
"Every day, uncle, for as long as I live."
"Alright. Let's do this."
Rey wants to hug him, but he's still standing too far away for her to reach and he also looks like he might change his mind if she does that.
"Thank you, Master Luke."
"This better be worth it."
Leia swats her brother in the chest.
"Shut up." She then turns to her son, who dwarfs her almost comically.
"Ben."
"Mo... Leia."
"I am so sorry."
He chokes back a watery laugh.
"Shouldn't I be saying that?"
"We can both say it, I think," Leia offers. "I love you, Ben."
"I love you too, mom."
"And I am so, so proud of you."
Ben doesn't say anything to that, but his chin wobbles and Rey realizes that he is too overwhelmed to speak. The Force pulls more strongly at them.
"We don't have much time," she says, loathe to disturb the moment between mother and child.
Leia nods, suddenly all business although tears still stream down her cheeks.
"Have a wonderful life," she offers, and Rey isn't sure if she's talking to her son or to her former student, but thinks it might be to both of them.
"How do we..."
"How does this..."
Luke and Leia start simultaneously, then both stop, looking at Rey, who shrugs.
"I was unconscious for that part."
All their eyes turn to Ben. The tips of his ears redden slightly, before he too shrugs.
"I just," he sighs, "begged, I guess. I begged the Force to bring Rey back."
Luke looks skeptical, but Leia just nods like it all makes perfect sense.
"Then let's do that." She glares at her brother, "and don't you say you won't. For once in your life you can be humble... even if you're not technically alive anymore."
He nods, chastised and then Luke and Leia place their translucent hands oven Ben and Rey's clasped fists and they all close their eyes.
She breathes in.
Be with me.
In the Force she hears Ben's deep voice, echoing hers.
Be with me.
And beyond that, Luke and Leia's voices, repeating the words.
Be with us.
Suddenly it's like on Exegol and there aren't just four voices but a myriad of them. The Force swells around Rey as she feels the masters of the past join into their chant.
Be with us.
Be with us.
Be with us.
On the dead home-world of the Sith it had been too much. The light had been blinding, ripping through Rey until there was nothing left and now the Force is no less strong, making her hair stand on end and her teeth vibrate, and the world around her whites out until she feels nothing but the Force signatures of her true family and Ben's hands, clasped together so tightly that her fingers ache but there is nothing short of death that could make her let go of him.
They stand like this for somewhere between a second and eternity until the flow of the Force begins to ebb. Sensation begins to seep back in. Rey feels the wind on her tear-stained cheeks, although it is no longer biting and harsh, but gentle. She feels her feet sink into the sand and the sun on her arms. She feels Ben's hands in hers, but at the same time she realizes that Luke and Leia's touch is gone. With some sorrow she wonders if she will ever see them again, when she realized that Ben's death-grip is rapidly loosening. Her eyes shoot open, so see him collapse heavily into the sand before her. She tries to hold him upright, but Ben weighs as much as a Bantha and all that happens is that they sprawl on the ground together in an untidy heap.
"Ooof," Ben says.
Rey is on him in an instant, searching his face.
"Are you alright?" she asks, frantically.
He blinks up at her and the bright sun. His outline is no longer glowing, she notices.
"’m fine," he mumbles, slightly sluggish.
"You sort of fainted there."
"Yeah," me mutters, "guess coming back from the dead will do that to you."
He chews his cheek.
"What's wrong?"
"This is not how I imagined this."
"What?"
"Coming back to you."
She laughs and briefly lays her head on his chest before coming back up to look at him.
"Me neither, but any way you come back to me is perfect."
"Even if I faint?"
"I'm not telling if you're not telling."
He nods, which looks sort of funny as he is still lying on his back. His arms tighten around her waist and he pulls her properly onto his chest, until their noses are almost touching.
"That's a deal."
"Good."
She smiles, a little shyly.
"Ben?"
"Mhm?"
"I love you too."
Relief rolls off him in waves and he huffs happily into her hair. She taps his chest. It is very firm. She finds she likes that.
"So, you're here to stay then?"
"Seems like it. Although, maybe not on Tatooine," he grimaces, "I hate sand."
"That's what Luke said."
"Statistically we have to agree on some things."
She laughs.
"Yeah."
"I'm going to kiss you now. Is that okay?"
Rey nods enthusiastically and now her nose does bump into his, hard. She tries to apologize, because that must have hurt, but before she can say anything his mouth slots over hers and she forgets what she was about to say.
"That was nice," she says after a while.
"Yeah?"
"Mhm. But," she adds slyly, "I think there is room for improvement."
He sputters, and tries to get up, but she pushes him back down, patting his chest.
"So, I think we should practice some more," she looks at his lips, "to get it right."
"Practice?" he murmurs.
"Yeah. You said I could use a teacher."
"That I did."
"I thought maybe this time we could learn together."
"Noted."
They could clearly keep this going for a while, bantering lightly, but Rey finds that they've already wasted too much time not kissing so this time she dives in and presses her lips to his. He moans softly and she uses the opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth, which she finds really is an improvement.
He whimpers a little when they finally come up for breath and she smiles at him.
"I like this, learning together."
"Me too."
They practice some more until they get dizzy again from lack of air.
"We should probably get out of here, before you get sunburned," she says, stroking his pale cheek.
"Okay."
Rey reluctantly scrambles off him and offers her hand to pull him up.
He looks at it, for a second, the significance of the gesture not lost on either of them, before he grasps her hand and gets up.
It is a little dizzying. To be looking down at him one second and to have him towering over her the next, but she doesn't feel intimidated. Only safe.
Ben pulls her into him for a second, and she feels so small and sheltered and really she could stay like this forever, but before long he is ghosting another kiss across her lips before lightly grasping her hand and leading her towards the ship.
"Where to?" he asks.
"Doesn't matter," Rey says, "not as long as it's with you."
"Not helpful."
"Somewhere green?" she relents.
"That I can do. I know a place by a lake. Very green. You'll love it."
"Okay."
They're almost at the ship.
"One last thing though," he says, pulling her to a stop and pirouetting her to face him.
Rey frowns.
"Yeah?"
"Rey Skywalker?" He says, arching a brow, "really?"
"Uh, sorry?" She blushes. "I just, uh, didn't... I mean... it didn't seem appropriate. With you being... and we never talked... or, you know, did anything but fight... and I felt like I would be..."
He looks at her as she stammers and fumbles and after a while it dawns on her that Ben is trying very hard not to laugh.
She swats his chest.
"You arse."
"Ow," he is grinning now and, oh, he has dimples. "I am sorry. I should have been clearer on my intentions when we were fighting for our lives against your grandfather."
Rey scowls.
"That man was not my grandfather," she hisses.
He hold up his free hand in surrender, the other still firmly clasped in hers. She thinks they didn't let go of each other for more than ten seconds since he came back. She also thinks that is a very good thing.
"Point taken," he says.
"But you're not a Palpatine, which I get, really, of all people I get that," he adds, his shit eating grin slowly creeping back on his face. "And you're not a Skywalker, because no, Rey, just no."
He is ticking off names on the fingers of his free hand.
“You're not Rey of Jakku, because the place that I'm taking you is so much better. And I suppose you’re not Rey of the Resistance, because without the First Order - good riddance, by the way - the Resistance is just, uh, the government. As for Rey the Last Jedi, I mean, we need to talk about that, but I think it’s time to put the Light and the Dark to rest, incidentally, how do you feel about the color gray? No, don’t answer that, I know you prefer green. Uh… where was I?"
He stops there, suddenly hesitant.
"Names," she provides, her heart beating in her chest.
He nods, almost to himself, before he wraps both his arms around her waist.
"Right. Names,” he whispers, bringing his face close to hers, but not kissing her yet. “We really have to get you a better last name. And I think I could help with that."