Work Text:
“Thank you for doing this, Em. I know - I know you have slight issues with some people here. So thank you, for coming with me.”
Peter’s nervous. Every year Tony throws an ostentatious Christmas ‘work’ party that he’s never figured out how to say no to. He likes everyone he works with - and he only ever gets to see them in less than ideal circumstances so he does like to go. It’s just, every year Tony attempts to set him up with one of his ‘other’ interns. Sure, usually it’s no big deal - he can turn them down or you know, not.
But this year is different. He doesn’t need nor wants to be set up. He’s very much in love.
The issue is, no one knows. He can’t tell anyone. She’s his roommate - not that would matter to him really. That’s just ideal, you don’t even need to ask them to move in. She’d be around all of the time. She already knows about his cleaning habits and that he’s Spider-Man - it’s perfect.
The issue is who he is in love with.
Michelle is the epitome of flawless. He was dumbstruck the second she moved in - didn’t think there was ever a chance where his Craiglists roommate would end up being an actual supermodel. He finds out about two minutes later that that’s the least interesting thing about her. She’s hilariously dark, she’s blunt but kind, she tolerates Star Wars. She loves Spider-Man. She is everything he could have ever wanted or asked for in a partner.
But there’s no way on Earth that someone as perfect for him as her, would ever want to be with someone like him.
So he hasn’t made it clear he likes her. He’s very subtle in his adoration. Okay, so he did purposely tell her he was Spider-Man when she was explaining to him how cute it was that he’d helped a child retrieve their balloon one day and she wished someone would thank him for the little things. She did thank him though, and she left him a breakfast muffin the next day so - worth it.
Other than that, and his inability to speak properly when she looks at him - his crush/ life dream to be with her, is pretty well hidden.
“Yeah, of course. I probably won’t even throw a drink on anyone tonight, best behaviour.” She replies, winking at him and linking her arm through his.
Oh. That.
So he may or may not have asked Michelle to go with him to this work party to avoid Tony’s matchmaker shenanigans. He may have phrased it as though he wanted her to be his fake date - as opposed to his desperate need for her to be his actual date. But it’s fine. She’s here. With him. With an overnight bag because it gets boozy.
He can feel himself blushing and he clears his throat at the thought of sharing a room with her. They’ve fallen asleep around each other before, but never together. Her running her hand up his bicep pulls him out of one dangerous thought straight into another.
“Hey,” he says with far too much emotion for a casual greeting when her eyes flicker to his.
“Hey… baby?” She scrunches her face in disgust while he almost sinks to the floor. “Hmm, I’ll work on a pet name later - how long does this elevator take?” she says leaning her head on his shoulder. Practising for when people are around them, for sure.
“Two floors left.” He replies breathlessly.
The elevator slows to a stop and the doors open with a beep.
“Let’s go, chicken.” She says as she pulls him out to greet the literal Avengers. She doesn’t appear phased. He wouldn’t be if he were her.
He introduces her to everyone, ignoring all the eyes that are on both of them the entire time. He feels a sense of calm with MJ’s hand in his, but the glances and whispers are setting his other senses off and he’s finding it hard to calm down. Avoiding May’s gaze was exceptionally difficult - but he trained his eyes on the spot to the left of her head and focused on MJ’s thumb rubbing against the back of his hand and he got through it.
He introduces Michelle to everyone, trying to remember that she knows who they all are - but stumbles a few times when she squeezes his hand.
“This is -”
“Colonel Rhodes -” she says politely, saving him from embarrassment, “it’s nice to meet you.” She says holding her free hand out to shake it.
“Oh, call me Rhodes, please. And it’s nice to meet you finally. Peter talks about you all the time.” Rhodey says looking straight at Peter with a look on his face he doesn’t enjoy.
“I’d hope so - then I wouldn’t be embarrassed by how much I talk about him to my family.” She says casually as if she means it. He swallows down a wistful sigh.
He catches Tony’s eye but can’t ascertain what he’s thinking because May has pulled MJ away from him to hug her fiercely. He’s pretty sure she’s crying. He hopes not. He doesn’t like to lie to May - which is why he’s spent the last few months telling her everything he loves about Michelle - so she wasn’t at all shocked when he mentioned they were dating now.
He can vaguely hear MJ complimenting May on her work at FEAST and offering to help out while she was down. He’s smiling to himself when he clocks Tony walking over with a glint in his eye and practically skips over to where Michelle and May are deep in conversation.
“- I can look at the books if you like, see if there’s a way to save anything?” Michelle states seriously before looking to him as he stands next to her. She gives him a smile and leans into his side, wrapping an arm tightly around his back.
“I can’t believe you waited this long to introduce me - May is so much cooler than you.”
“Yeah.” He says way too breathless to be casual as he looks at her. She bites her lower lip to avoid her smile getting too big and he wishes she’d let it show. Half because it’s beautiful and half because the lip-biting turns him on in a way he never wants to be around his Aunt.
“If you think I’m cool, wait till you meet Morgan.” May lets out, not so casually saying her name loudly because she knows she’s somewhere just buzzing with anticipation. Morgan has been desperate to meet Michelle for months at this point - specifically since Peter called her pretty for the first time.
She comes over with Tony, half hiding behind his legs in a way he’s never seen her do before. He hopes she’s not too nervous. He has no idea how Michelle reacts to children, knowing that while he adores everything about her - she can come off a little cold to a lot of people.
He needn’t be worried though, because Michelle drops his hand like a hot potato and graciously sinks to the floor so she’s on Morgan’s level.
“Hey! I’m MJ.” She says enthusiastically, “That’s such a pretty dress - I wish I wore mine now.”
“Thank you,” Morgan says quietly.
“Of course. Are you excited for the holidays?” She says with the same excitement in her voice but Morgan doesn’t reply.
“You know, I had a sister your age once and she used to get so excited for Santa.” She says as if it’s just for Morgan. His heart constricts and he just wants to touch her - knowing that she can hardly talk about her sister at the best of times. He knows she died a few years ago but he also knows grief doesn’t just stop after a given time. He adores that she’s trying with Morgan, trying to find something to settle her.
“Is she still excited?” Morgan says finally from behind her Dad. The adults surrounding her seem to have figured out Michelle’s family trauma, but he can’t expect that of a five-year-old.
“Always.”
“Cool. Do you want to see some of my drawings? Pete said you draw super well.” She says pointing to the table where she’s carefully laid out all her supplies.
“Well he tells me you’re the best artist he’s ever seen - so yes please,” Michelle says standing up. As she gets to her feet he watches as her eyes widen with all the people looking at her with varying levels of sympathy. Before she walks away she turns to hug him, pulling away quickly. He pulls her back in with a hand on the back of her neck, “You ok?” he asks quietly tucking some hair behind her ear.
She hums and smiles at him, leaning in to kiss quickly and his entire body blushes as she leaves. His eyes track her as she walks to see Morgan’s artwork and the sound of his team and more loudly May - clearing their throats shakes him from his thoughts that surround her.
“So -” Tony starts.
“No. Nope.”
“So -” May starts, and then continues because he can’t say no to her, “it’s going well?” She asks looking as though she’s going to crack out a wedding planner.
“Yeah -” he clears his throat “- really well. She’s… my favourite.” He says looking to the floor.
“Peter!” May squeals and throws her arms around him, only slightly holding him tightly enough that his shame doesn’t seep onto the floor. She let’s go and he listens to May tell him she’s so happy for him when he watches Michelle walk back over with Morgan’s hand in hers - animatedly talking about something he can’t decipher.
“Pete?” She says as she’s next to him and he signals that she can continue, he’s not sure if he could get a word out without his voice breaking right now.
“I’m going to go change quickly, Morguana-” he looks to Morgan who looks ecstatic that she gave her a nickname “- is a bit put out that she’s the only one super dressed up for the party, and I think I have something in here that’ll work. I’ll be right back, okay?” She presses a chaste kiss to his lips and then turns with a flourish to be guided to the bedroom by Natasha.
He can barely breathe. She kissed him before and he thought it was a one-time thing - but she kissed him again when she didn’t really need to either time. He’s trying to remind himself that it’s for show. But she kissed him and he doesn’t care about anything else. Merry fucking Christmas.
Turning back to whoever he was talking to before she made his life, he’s faced with the prying eyes of Tony Stark - damn.
“H - hey, Stark, Sir. Tony.” He rolls his eyes at himself and he knows Tony is doing the same.
“Calm yourself, kid,” Tony says with a pat to his shoulder. “Michelle seems as nice as you suggested.” he continues with enough tone that Peter knows he’s trying to wind him up.
“Yep.” He’s not going to get sucked into whatever game it is he wants to play.
“I dunno though - you said she was-”
“Tony.” He says in what he hopes is a warning tone and not at all whiney - but he can’t be sure. He has trouble sometimes with authority figures - he really likes Tony and the banter that they have in and out of work, but he won’t allow anyone to say anything negative about MJ, joking or not. Especially not when she isn’t here to rip them a new one. Then he’d probably let it slide - hyping her up in the background.
Tony raises his hands placatingly, but there’s a look in his eye like he knows they’re faking it.
“I really like her.” He says looking at the floor. He hears Tony scoff and it makes his neck snap back up.
“Kid - everyone here knows you’re in love with your roommate, and yes, even your roommate.”
“You’re in love with your roommate?” Michelle says reappearing as if from thin air. He spends two seconds being annoyed at the fact that his Spider-sense doesn’t work with her, always letting her sneak up on him - and then that feeling’s overtaken by everything else he feels for her. The way his heart beats faster when she looks directly at him. The way his senses have altered in a way they never have before, to accommodate for her - always feeling slightly duller when she’s not around. The way he’s so unbelievably in love with her.
He’s trying to fight a smile at the fact she’s changed into a Christmas dress due to the request from Morgan but he can’t. He’s already beating down so many other urges around her, like not touching her hand whenever it’s within grabbing distance, not tucking the hair behind her ear, not hugging her when they’re on the couch, not kissing her whenever he can. He’s only one man, he can only do so much.
It takes him a good fifteen seconds to remember Tony has ruined his life by spilling his deepest secret and the smile falls off his face and he attempts to splutter out a defence. But it turns out he doesn’t need to.
“Good - I’m in love with mine too.” She says, casually walking over to Morgan so they can compare outfits. He can hear her saying something to Morgan about how they can match if she makes Morgan a dress like hers for Christmas. He can hear the way Rhodey gasps in the corner at the declarations of love casually being thrown around. He can hear May frantically texting and he assumes she won some kind of bet. But mainly he can hear how Michelle’s heartbeat has increased as if she’s excited, or nervous, or both.
He walks with confidence towards her, only tripping once when she turns to look at him, lip caught between her teeth. He’s never gotten over how captivatingly beautiful he finds her. Completely shell shocked when he first saw that she was his roommate - admiring the long expanse of her neck the second he found her in the kitchen. He’s been enamoured with her ever since - new things cropping up almost minutely that he hadn’t noticed before. The way her left eyebrow raises when she’s trying to hide the fact that she finds him funny. The three curls that always refuse to be put into a hairband. The fact that she absolutely cannot wink but still does the motion at least six times a day.
“Michelle.” He says when he reaches her, in a way that makes him want to sink into the ground.
“Parker.” She replies in a way that makes him want to propose.
Tony’s already done the hard work right? He can’t be too mad at him for it. Sure he wanted to tell her at some point when he gathered up the courage - probably after watching her doing something life-affirming like making tea. But he can’t now - he can tell her he loves her for the first time himself, properly though. He can do that, she deserves that.
“Can - can you come outside with me?” He holds out a hand that’s so sweaty she’s going to call him out on it. Not in front of anyone - she’d never embarrass someone for a laugh, it’s beneath her. But like, outside when no one can hear.
She takes his hand and makes no outward signs that the wetness of his hand is upsetting her - if anything she looks happy. He can’t help but stare at her the entire time they’re walking outside. She must notice this because he can see her eyes roll as she manoeuvres herself around furniture and people. He follows her lead - obviously.
She shivers when the door closes and they’re alone on the balcony - he didn’t bring a coat but he could give her his shirt? He goes to drop her hand and -
“I don’t need your shirt, it’s not that cold.” She says raising her eyebrow at him as he drops his hands from the top button.
“I - I know that. I was… stretching.”
“You are such a dork, I can’t believe I’m this in love with you.” She says as if she’s announcing she just won two pounds on a scratchcard - but she’s looking at him like he looks at her when he thinks she can’t see.
“Michelle.” He says in some kind of warning though he knows it comes out desperate.
“Yeah?-” she’s fucking with him, he knows that and he hopes she never stops “-What’s up, Pete?” she says leaning into his space and placing her hands around his neck. The Christmas lights are shining through her curls and she’s so unreasonably beautiful that he forgets to speak. Forgets that he came out here to tell her all the reasons he loves her.
She leans forwards and presses her lips to his, pulling back before he can deepen it and he frowns at her.
“What? You’re not going to say it back?” She’s smiling his favourite smile and leaning back in before he has a chance to speak and this time he secures his hands to the back of her neck and around her waist. She kisses exactly how he expected and nothing like what he thought all at the same time. She’s methodological in the way her lips press against his, but there’s an undercurrent of want that’s making her nip at his lips and slip her tongue into his mouth and he loves her.
The kiss deepens to something it definitely shouldn’t when he’s pretty sure his entire team, and May , are behind the glass - but he doesn’t care. Michelle’s hands are pulling at his hair and she’s moaning every time he swipes his tongue over hers and he could happily die here. He pulls back when oxygen becomes a necessity and watches her as she takes deep breaths inches from his face.
He beams at her when she slowly opens her eyes - her lips swollen and,
“I love you. I’m sorry I messed up telling you.” She shakes her head at him while smiling and she’s playing with the back of his jumper and he can’t think.
“It’s okay - I was getting around to telling you too. You know… at some point in the next three years.” She responds in a breathy tone that settles in his mind for him to replay hourly for the rest of time. He runs his hands lightly up and down her back - thumbs grazing closer to her chest each time he goes up.
“Stop it.” She whispers moving closer to him - her chest brushing his and he can barely breathe.
“Stop what?” He replies, realising he’s whispering too. There’s no-one else here - but this is just for them. He moves his hands up again - he knows what she’s saying, but he’s greedy and he wants to hear her say it. His brain is almost melting with the information that she loves him, that she could want him in the way he desperately wants her.
“That.” She says against his mouth as his thumbs move to rest lightly on the edge of her bra. She kisses him so softly he thinks he might turn into a pile of goo - but she’s got such a tight hold around his shoulders that there’s no way he’d ever fall to the ground. She’d catch him. He hopes from the inside they just look like they’re in an intense hug - maybe he shouldn’t have bought her here. There a million things he wants to do to her - with her.
Just when he thinks the kiss is coming to an end and he doesn’t need to worry about her feeling him against her stomach - she sucks on his lower lip and he pulls her flush against him with a groan.
“Michelle -”
“You drive my crazy, Pete -” she brings his face back to hers with more strength than necessary, he was always going to come to her “-all the time. I think about you all the time.” She kisses him quickly then pulls back.
“I just - I couldn’t tell you that.” She loosens her hands from around his neck to slide down his chest and he’s enamoured with her hands. He’s always loved watching the way they move when she’s drawing, or typing, or plaiting her hair. He’s got novel-length thoughts about how they’d feel in his hands, how they’d feel if she held his wrist in the store, how they feel on him. It’s everything he’s wanted and more.
She steps back further and takes a deep breath, seemingly overwhelmed with the current state of affairs - and he’d never want to push her too far. But he doesn’t want to push her away either, so he grabs one of her hands and intertwines their fingers - hoping she understands that he’ll wait for her.
She starts off looking at the ground and he instantly doesn’t like the fact that she’s nervous - he wants her to feel nothing but safe with him, even though he knows that’s ridiculous. She’s her own person and he knows enough about her highschool life to know that she has trouble expressing feelings sometimes.
“I don’t have much luck -” she glances up at him and he loves her “- getting close to people… and you must have realised I have a slight issue with thinking I’m not good enough sometimes.” He squeezes her hand the way her words squeeze at his heart - he doesn’t patronise her and say that it’s silly. As if anyone is ever going to be good enough for her. Because that’s rude - and though everything in him is pushing at him to scream from the rooftops that she’s flawless, her feelings and emotions are valid and important, and it’s an honour that she’s sharing these deep and scary ones with him
He lets her carry on because she doesn’t like to be interrupted - he thinks she’d let him. He thinks there are certain rules she has that don’t include him. She lets him steal some of her fries when he’s still hungry even though he watched her slap her sister's hand away when she tried once.
She lets him read her books when he goes over to her room to hang out under the pretence that he’s bored when really he just misses her though they’re in the same apartment, even though he dog-ears the pages and he watches as she slyly straightens them out afterwards - as if she doesn’t want to tell him to stop. He knows she runs cold but still, she put her blanket over him when he fell asleep watching a movie in her room and she put an extra jumper on.
“It’s just - you don’t make me feel that way. Ever. But you’re you. You’re literally a fucking Superhero Peter -” she goes to throw her hands by her sides like she does when she doesn’t understand something, but his hand is still in hers and he follows the movement so he’s in front of her “- it doesn’t -”
Letting go of her hand to place both hands on the sides of her face, he leans in to kiss her - she doesn’t move away so he thinks he might get away with interrupting her. It’s just a long press of his lips to hers, he doesn’t want it to deepen into anything else before he can tell her all of the ways and the reasons that he loves her.
He moans again when her hands come to rest over his. He pulls back excited to watch her slowly open her eyes again but she’s already looking at him.
“I’m never not thinking about you. You’re in all of my thoughts, MJ. When I’m Peter and when I’m Spider-Man. It’s you, it’s always you.” She looks at him like she wants to believe him and he wishes that he had the chance to tell her this slowly, to build up to it so he wouldn’t have to see this self-conscious look in her eyes. He has one chance at this, and he’s so unprepared - nothing has been planned but all he really needs to go through his day to day life and tell her all the ways she makes it better. That’s the main reason he’s in love with her.
“Okay -” he says spinning his hands from her face to grasp both of hers “- here we go. I know sometimes I can be a little intense and you don’t always like that so -”
“I like everything about you.” She says matter of factly - and he can do this.
“Michelle… you. Huh, the emotions come on thick and fast when you’re trying to confess your love for your best friend.” He’s nervous because he doesn’t want to mess this up. He’s thought about how to tell her she’s pretty for the better part of four hours a day since he first met her. He needed more time for this.
“It’s okay - I know. You don’t… just because Tony loves the sound of his own voice doesn’t mean I can’t wait for this. It’s okay.” She squeezes his fingers and it’s enough.
“I think about your hands at least ninety-six times a day -” she looks confused but it’s okay - he can explain. “I think about them when I’m on the subway and I don’t need to hold onto anything, and I miss the way you grasp at my jacket every time the train jolts slightly. I think about how they’d feel if they were what woke me up in the morning.” She looks less confused and more as though she loves him back.
“I love you. I’m so in love with you. And I really wish I could have been the first person to tell you that. But I do. I love you. I can’t explain to you Em, how badly I never want you to think that you’re not good enough for anyone… for anything.”
She shivers lightly so he moves both of her hands into one of his so he can unbutton his shirt with the other - awkwardly removing one arm at a time. Annoyed at himself for wearing the tighter one he owned in a hope to impress her as it is making it difficult to remove with any dignity.
He manages it and drapes the shirt across her shoulders, but she doesn’t appear to notice - she’s just watching him, waiting for him to carry on.
“You know the other day - I really didn’t want to go on patrol, and I felt awful about it but I was tired. And I got home and you’d left a note on my desk and all it said was ‘I need Spidey’s help all evening, it’s an emergency’ but you drew a little cartoon so I knew it wasn’t but -”
“I was… stuck - with a math problem-” she replies smiling at him then biting her bottom lip.
“You’re an art major, Michelle.”
“And you were tired but won’t allow yourself breaks if you don’t have a reason, Peter.”
“So you gave me one.”
“Yeah.”
He surges forwards again, backing her into the railing as gently as he can while he slips his tongue into her mouth. She wraps her arms around his neck and moans into his mouth - her tongue stroking his in a way that makes him want to swing her back to his apartment immediately.
“We can’t stay out here all night.” She says like she really wants to stay out here all night. But she’s slightly shivering even with his shirt and the flush on her cheeks could be from the cold or from him, he really hopes it’s from him.
“Okay - yeah… you’re right.” He says pulling back from her a bit - but she doesn’t let him go too far.
“I just mean - cover the window or something, I can’t do the next part with an audience.” She says with a slight smirk and a raised eyebrow. He wraps one arm around her waist and pulls her flush to him, revelling in the way she laughs against his neck. He uses the other arm to cover the glass door with web fluid. It’ll probably freeze and take him a ridiculously long time to clean off later but Michelle is biting at his ear so he doesn’t really care about anything other than what might happen here.
It turns out what happens later isn’t some kind of kinky outdoor sex like he was anticipating - because they decided as she shivered against him for the fourth time that they’d like to take their time - explore each other. Michelle suggested it all got a bit full-on quick because of the love confession outing - and Peter agreed with a kiss to her nose. They did sit under the heater - Peter straight on the bench with MJ sat with her legs thrown over him, cuddled into his side - and they discussed what they wanted this to be.
It’s when she’s against his chest that he tells her the first time he thought he was in love with her - her answering smile is worth everything and anything that she could ever want from him.
“Merry Christmas, MJ,” he says with his face buried in her hair at the top of her head.
“It’s barely December, Pete,” she replies but hugs him closer anyway. She tilts her head slightly to press a kiss under his jaw.
“I love you - Merry Christmas.”