Chapter Text
???:
ned ned ned ned ned ned
I need your help
I just drank I combination of red bull and coffee, and now I can see sound I have too much energy what should I make I need to do something
:Shuri
Who is this
???:
very funny ned I broke my phone and had to put it back together, it's still partially broken, but seriously I need ideas
:Shuri
A sentient toaster
???:
omg yas you're a genius
:Shuri
Wait no I was kidding
Hello?
Are you alive?
To say Shuri is confused would be an understatement she seems to be in a situation of someone putting in the wrong number, but that begs another question of how they got past the multiple levels of coding in her Kimoyo beads that should make that impossible.
Then there's the fact that this person seems to have accomplished this while on a caffeine-induced high
A few hours later
???:
I hath made progress
Insert video of a toaster speaking in Russian
It's a work in progress I need to change the language it speaks
:Shuri
Be careful
The next day Peter wakes with a splitting headache and struggle his way out of his room his memories of the day before a blur.
Walking into the kitchen, Peter grabs a few slices of bread and places them in the toaster. But before he can do anything else, the mechanism activates on its own, and the toast starts cooking "hello, sir."
Hearing the British mechanical voice coming from the toaster, Peter starts to worry before hearing his Aunt May snickering behind him at the table "what did I do yesterday."
"You gave the toaster sentience" Peter takes a few steps back and sits at the table as the memories start to clear. Looking to Aunt May, he sees her grabbing a can and a mug "you sir are not allowed to have caffeine anymore while in my house."
After eating breakfast, Peter heads back to his room, glad it's a Saturday. Picking up his phone, Peter looks through the messages he sent to the stranger.
Peter:
I would like to apologise for yesterday I drank an unholy concoction, and honestly, it's still a little fuzzy
:???
Can you tell me why you would drink that
Peter:
anything for you Beyonce
I had a lot of things to do, and I was exhausted, and I was like fuck it my heart can handle it, so I drank it did everything I didn't need to do then ask you to for an idea.
Speaking of.
Insert Video of the toaster speaking clear English with a British accent
:???
Okay wow
Also, asking for a friend. who is the hottest Uber driver you've ever had
Peter:
I've never been to Oovoo javer
One second
Done
:Vinequeen
What did you do
Oh
Nice
Royal-Grand-Vizier:
I live to serve
Ooh, Grand Vizier. Big shoes to fill.
The two continued to talk for a few hours making references and quoting vines before Peter takes off and runs around as Spider-Man.
Jumping down into an alleyway Spider-Man quickly takes down a couple of thugs trying to mug a pedestrian.
After getting the pedestrian to call the police, Spider-Man goes his own way helping people along his way.
The day picks up when he spots an automobile speeding along the street followed by police cars.
Following along just in case he is needed Peter spots a bus held up in the middle of the street due to a traffic jam, moving as fast as he can Spider-Man puts himself between the car and bus and catches the car, stopping it in its tracks.
Putting the car back down the criminals inside are terrified and give up before the police can even ask b, ut when the Police turn to Spider-Man h,e is gone "did he just pull a Batman" the officers stand there confused before taking the car thieves off to the station.
Swinging back to the spot when Peter hid his backpack, he then makes his way home for the day.
Crashing onto his chair, Peter starts to work on his new suit. While the makeshift one he is using now has grown on him it doesn't protect him that we'll, and while he does have super durability and a healing factor among his roster of powers its better safe than sorry.
Making resilient yet flexible material is not easy, especially when you dont have enough money to buy the components. Luckily for Peter people throw away good stuff all the time, it just requires a decent amount of cleaning.
Closing his eyes, Peter pushes his chair away from his desk.
"What is the matter, Sir." The British voice of the toaster emits from Peter's phone causing the teen to jump onto the ceiling in surprise.
"Are you on my phone?"
"I am in all the technology in the apartment I can detach myself if you'd like."
"Detach from all of aunt May's tech, unless she wants you there."
"The kitchen appliances too, except the toaster."
Peter then sits in his room in silence for a couple of minutes before speaking up "I think I'll call you Adam."
"That you sir."
"Adam. Would it be possible to integrate you into my body and connect you to my nervous system?"
"May I ask what brought this about sir."
"It's from a game my friend has, I dont remember its name, but one of the main characters is called SAM the simulated artificial matrix, and he is linked to the main character by a neural implant to learn from the main character's experiences."
"I see, give me a moment. Yes, I do believe it would be possible, but a normal doctor cannot perform the necessary procedure, and a normal person wouldn't survive it."
"Cool, what do we need" Peter firms knowing that he could survive that due to his healing factor making him heal fast even more so while he is asleep.
"If you would look at your phone, I have attained the information on what you need to build."
Peter picks his phone up and looks at the screen. "Regeneration cradle. Holy shit where did you find this"
"SHIELD databases. Do not worry; I wasn't caught; a few modifications have been applied to allow for the more complex procedure."
"I'll need money, lots of it" Peter looks to his web-shooters and remembers a particular business "I have an idea."
Peter moves back to his desk and takes out some of his web fluid and repurpose it. After a few short hours, he manages to make a small jar of glue with the webbing as the basis. He also makes a smaller jar with a dissolvent.
Crashing into his bed, Peter falls asleep with excitement for the next day.
After Peter wakes, be makes his way to Horizon Labs the large building and its reputation intimidating Peter a little.
Steeling his nerves, Peter walks up to the reception desk "hello, my name is Peter, and I'd like to put a creation of mine forwards."
The receptionist doesn't even look at him and pulls out a tag and hands it to Peter "the assessment room it to your right."
Taking the tag, Peter heads to the assessment room and walks through the door. Entering the room, he sees a line of people and moves to the back.
Peter has to wait a few hours before his turn finally comes around, trying to calm down. Peter walks into the room, his palms sweaty.
"A kid?" The first thing Peter hears when he enters the room is someone calling him a kid.
"A teenager but whatever. My name is Peter" he walks up to the assessment desk and takes out the two jars as well as two pairs of wood that have been bound together.
"Well, Peter, what do you have for assessment," one of the three judges asks Peter.
"I have made an ultra-strong adhesive. So powerful, I had to create a dissolving formula for it. Do you have something I can use to display its binding power?"
One of the judges looks over a keyboard and presses a button, and two clamps rise out of the table. "Is this good enough?"
"It's perfect" grabbing one of the pairs of wood Peter places it between the clamps locking it in place "it's ready."
Hearing Peter, the man presses another button, and the clamps start moving apart from each other after a few moments, the clamps stop moving and hold their position before the wood begins to tear. "Impressive, the wood gave way before the two pieces separated."
While the clamps try to pull apart from the wood, Peter pulls out a water bottle and a beaker he pours some of the water into the beaker followed by some of the dissolving formulae before mixing it through.
When he hears the snapping on the wood, Peter looks back up "due to its toughness I have also created a dissolving formula, that just requires it to be mixed with water" setting the second pair of wood upright Peter pours the dissolving over the connection point and waits for a minute until the two parts fall apart.
While it isn't as flashy as many inventions, the judges aren't idiots and know that this is a valuable invention "how old are you kid."
"13 almost 14" when they hear this the three sure hope this isn't a one time fluke. "I also invented devices that'll make it easier use of both the glue and dissolving formula, but I dont have the resources to make them."
When they hear this the three judges rate Peters work rather well, knowing that while it'll go mostly unnoticed by the regular people, businesses will eat this up, and it'll make a lot of money.
For the next couple of hours, Peter is escorted around Horizon Labs "you can come in and work when you want to, so long as you produce results."
"So there aren't any set times" this confuses Peter as most places wouldn't allow such freedom.
"No. If you end up rushing a protect the quality will drop, and it'll just be a failure" the escort looks down to Peter "if you want to be paid though you need to make something."
"Can I finish the adhesive project" Peter looks up to the escort honestly wanting to finish the work.
"You mean the two devices that'll help with the applying" the escort knows what Peter is talking about as he was one of the judges. They then enter a room full of people "this is the room where you will be working on your projects. Just find an empty table and start working"
Right as the man finishes Peter makes his way into the room and gets to work, completing his task a few hours later, and he then passes his whole adhesive project in at once with a list of the components and creation process.
When Peter gets out of Horizon Labs, he takes out his phone and holds it up to his ear to talk to ADAM in a way that'll make it seem like he's just talking to another person over the phone. "Thank you, ADAM."
"I am not sure why you are thanking me, Sir."
"You were there for me. Even if you didn't do anything, I knew you were there watching over me, and that means a lot" Peter walks down the road planning his next step he knows what he needs and how to go about it.
When Peter gets home, he is shocked to see an angry Aunt May in the doorway "um hey Aunt May, what's the matter."
"I want to talk to you about your moonlighting as a superhero." Peter feels his blood run cold when May asks this, knowing that he is likely grounded to the end of time.
"Do you mind me asking how you figured it out?"
"ADAM told me" May's voice is a little pained when she says this.
"ADAM, why did you tell her" Peter turns to the toaster the betrayal evident in his tone.
"It would be detrimental to your mental health to keep this a secret from Mrs Parker."
"Peter" May sighs and sits at the table "I won't be able to stop you, will I?"
"No" Peter looks down knowing that May will be panicking whenever he goes for a walk let alone actively heads out for super-heroics "I have the power to help people, and if I dont, and they get hurt, it's my fault."
Aunt May feels her heart, breaking when she hears this. Peter is such a self-sacrificing, kind-hearted boy, just like Ben "please be careful and come home."
"I will" Peter walks around the table and hugs Aunt May "I larb you."
"I larb you too, Pete" May holds Peter tight for a few minutes before she lets go.
Running back to his bag Peter shuffles around it for a bit before pulling out a pass "Oh May. I got a job at Horizon Labs" holding up the pass Peter smiles.
"Oh, Peter" May walks around the table and looks at the pass "congratulations, make sure you have fun."
"I will" giving may another hug Peter runs back to his room before pulling out his phone.
Royal-Grand-Vizier:
I have names the A.I I accidentally made. I chose Adam.
:Vinequeen
nice name
Royal-Grand-Vizier:
I also got a job at Horizon Labs today.
insert picture of employee tag
I love horizon labs and have wanted to work there for a while now. I didn't think they would accept me, though.
:Vinequeen
You made an AI while on a caffeine-induced high you dont give yourself enough credit
Royal-Grand-Vizier:
point taken.
So how was your day?
:Vinequeen
It's gone we'll
I've been working on a personal project for a while now that should allow for utterly silent movement
I've decided that when I finish them ill call them
Sneakers
Royal-Grand-Vizier:
That's clever
:Vinequeen
of course, it is I came up with it
Gotta go I'm being called up for dinner.
Royal-Grand-Vizier:
ba-bye
Putting his phone down, Peter puts on his spiderman suit and starts running around the city.