Chapter Text
“Hyung,” Soobin calls softly. “Hyung di dalem?”
Yeonjun sinks deeper to the pillow. “Iya,” he answers, a little late. “Kamu mau masuk?”
“Boleh?”
He hesitates for a moment, but still nods anyway. “Boleh.”
Soobin opens the door quietly. He’s wearing one of his big hoodies that drown his entire torso. The bangs on his forehead are wet. He’s smiling sheepishly, tentative in its pull.
“Hyung,” he says again.
Yeonjun closes one of his eyes. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to handle this either, still thinking of a way to avoid a confrontation. He just wants the floor to swallow him whole.
“Iya, Soobin,” he replies quietly. Soobin comes to him eventually, and sits on the floor by the bed. He’s cross-legged, hands shoved into the front pocket of his hoodie.
His face draws close. Yeonjun closes his other eye slightly, until he’s nothing but a shadow.
“Bin,” he starts frantically, just wants to get this over with already. “Gini, Bin.”
Soobin stares at him innocently. He looks so warm like this, so fond up close. The dimples on his cheeks look pitying. He must think he’s a stupid fool.
Still, his voice blares in a tender lilt. It’s not mocking, just playful. “Gini gimana, hyung,” he whispers knowingly.
Yeonjun finally closes both of his eyes, frustrated. He gets up and sits on the bed, gripping on the sheets in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.
“Kamu lupain aja,” he says dejectedly, already shaking his head. He knows there’s rejection inside Soobin’s innocent demeanour. He’s here to reject him anyway, right? He tells himself to brace for impact. “Nggak ada artinya juga.”
Soobin’s face falls slightly. “Nggak ada artinya?”
Yeonjun’s heart spikes up, crestfallen. “Maaf ya,” he quickly apologizes. Winces at himself. “Aku nggak maksud cium kamu, Bin.”
“Kan ada mistletoe,” Soobin reasons. “Bukannya wajib hukumnya?”
“Lagian yang naro siapa, sih? Beomgyu ya,” he brushes past it, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. Still remembers Soobin’s lips on his for the briefest second. He feels himself reddening again. “Atau Huening Kai? Nanti aku marahin besok.”
Soobin places his chin on the edge of his bed, tilting his head teasingly. “Kamu kenapa salting, sih.”
“Kata siapa salting,” he deflects.
“Kamu salting,” he repeats again, then pointedly stares at him. “Merah muka kamu. Kamu juga pelan-pelan ngejauh daritadi. Kasur kamu nggak luas lho, kamu mau kabur kemana emang?”
Yeonjun presses his back on the wall, crossing his arms defensively. “Aku nggak salting,” he says again, very clearly flustered.
Soobin gets up slightly, hands pausing on his sheets. “Boleh?”
He wants to say no, and he does, “Nggak,” but at the same time his head nods for him too.
Soobin chuckles at him. “Jadi, iya apa nggak?”
This time, he shakes his head. “Nggak.”
“Yaudah,” Soobin obeys and sits himself down on the floor again. “Terus gimana, hyung.”
“Kan aku udah bilang lupain aja.”
Soobin’s mouth opens a little at that, but his eyes stay steady. His voice comes frustratingly slow. “Kalo aku nggak mau lupain gimana, hyung.”
Yeonjun’s ribs ache, his teeth chattering. “Apanya yang gimana.”
“Aku-nya nggak mau lupain,” Soobin says again, so calm. “Aku pengen inget-inget terus, malah. Tadi hyung nyamperin tiba-tiba, aku nggak sempet mikir. Kamu kalau deket aku kayak gitu, kadang aku nggak bisa mikir.”
Then he laughs breathily inside the silence of his room.
“Terus kamu jinjit, cium aku,” he goes on, and Yeonjun flinches again. “Belum sempet aku tutup mata, atau balik cium kamu. Kamu-nya keburu kabur.”
“Kamu jangan sembarangan kalo ngomong.”
“Sembarangan gimana.”
“Jangan asal.”
“Kok asal,” Soobin chuckles again. “Aku mana pernah asal ngomong, hyung. Kayak nggak tau aku aja.”
Yeonjun’s hands are suddenly cold. His tongue dries in his mouth. “Soobin,” he says weakly. “Kalau kamu ngomong kayak gini, terus aku pengen cium kamu lagi gimana - ”
Soobin blinks at him, smiles sweetly. “Kamu kira aku ngapain kesini? Aku pengen minta second try,” he says, then adds. “Kalau boleh.”
“Tapi disini nggak ada mistletoe.”
“Terus kenapa?”
Yeonjun’s insides numb. The implication of that makes his head hurt. He isn’t here to kiss him because of the mistletoe. He isn’t here to kiss him for some made-up reason.
“Hyungie,” he says again, too soft. There’s something he wants. It coils the nerves underneath his skin. “Boleh?”
This time, Yeonjun only nods. His throat doesn’t work. Even his grip on the sheets has loosen. He’s barely holding on to anything - he’s just goo at this point.
Soobin climbs up the bed and stares searchingly at him. “Hyung,” he whispers. “Boleh cium?”
Yeonjun nods again, brokenly this time. Soobin is so close. He’s never been this close, not with that careless gaze. Not with the hands on his knees now. His skin burns painfully.
“Boleh,” he answers, almost stuck. “Boleh cium, Bin.”
“Mau cium dimana, hyung.”
Yeonjun reddens a deep, embarrassing flush. “Jangan asal,” he croaks out.
“Aku beneran nanya,” Soobin’s voice lilts annoyingly, cocky. He knows he’s got him right where he wants him. Cornered, his aching mouth so obvious. “Hyung mau aku cium dimana?”
He leans in until he gets a little blurry. Too close. Too highly-anticipated. He reaches to touch his chin and gently prods his head up. “Cium disini, hyung?” he asks.
Soobin places a kiss on his cheek. It isn’t chaste. It isn’t innocent either. His lips are parted on his skin and when he leans back again, the hot trail hurts.
“Soobin,” Yeonjun closes his eyes, grits his teeth. “Kenapa di pipi.”
He only laughs, impossibly fond. He doesn’t let go of his hand, still holding him in place. “Tadi aku nanya, kamu-nya nggak jawab.”
“Nggak di pipi juga.”
“Maunya dimana.”
Yeonjun whines restlessly. “Masa nggak tahu.”
Soobin shakes his head innocently. He’s having fun. He’s having so much fun, the brat. “Kasih tau aku,” he breathes, heating up. “Hyung, kasih tau aku dimana.”
“Cium aku disini,” Yeonjun thumbs at his lip. Grazes it with his own skin. “Cium-nya disini, Bin.”
Soobin touches him there too. A press of his finger on his lip, his eyes unfocused. He stares at it in a trance. When he speaks, it bursts open. “Hyung, tau nggak,” he rasps. “Sesusah apa untuk nggak cium kamu.”
Yeonjun’s breaths grow heavier. Aching, wanting, more. “Kamu pengen cium aku sebelum ini?”
“Iya,” he replies easily. His thumb hangs hot. Yeonjun involuntarily parts his mouth open. “Bisa gila aku, hyung,” he says, then meets his gaze one more time. “Cium kamu ya.”
Yeonjun nods numbly. “Iya, cium aku.”
This time he leans in again, but the warmth that captures him now is finally right. In time. In place.
Soobin’s lips are plump, pillowy on his. They press, lukewarm, then he kisses him.
Yeonjun sucks in a heavy breath, his whole body pulling tight. The back of his head meets the wall, and Soobin crowds him in. He feels his ribs knocking his, his knees on his lap.
His shaking hands cup his face. Tender. Reckless. Definitely wanting.
“Hyung,” Soobin shudders against him. “Hyung.”
Yeonjun barely manages it out, only a soft, dazed, “Iya,” he weakly answers. Soobin pulls at his bottom lip, not with his thumb anymore. “Kenapa, kenapa, kenapa.”
“Mau kamu,” he whispers, his mouth meeting his throat.
Yeonjun laughs, trembling, then closes his eyes. Soobin holds his hip in a crave.
“Aku juga mau kamu,” he still says, even though it’s obvious by now. The way he goes all pliant, all soften shiver. It’s obvious he wants him back. Soobin should know.
“Boleh?” Soobin still leans back to ask.
Yeonjun breathes, pleads. “Boleh.”
*