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Hawks doesn’t really care about Christmas. He doesn’t remember celebrating it with his parents and the Commission sure didn’t bother with holidays, not when they believed it would only tamper with his training.
If he had asked, he certainly would have been welcomed at the party Miruko is attending with countless other heroes today. It probably would have been better for his reputation, too. The public is always eager to see pictures of those mundane events on social media.
Instead, he’s walking through a deserted street, all alone while the rest of the world is having fun with their families. He tries hard not to think about how he doesn’t have one of his own.
His wings are hidden under a huge coat; it’s more than uncomfortable, but he’s not in the mood for signing autographs and being the perfect hero today. He’s carrying two heavy bags with him, that seem to pound twice their weight.
The place he’s heading towards is up a hill. If he was using his quirk, he would be there in a flash. On feet, it takes a bit longer. It hasn’t snowed, not yet at least, but the cold is still biting at his skin. Hawks doesn’t mind. Maybe because he considers nothing about this should be easy.
After a short climb, he finally reaches his destination: a cemetery. There’s not another soul in sight, not that the hero expected company. He goes here for Christmas every year, after all, and every year he’s met with the same eerie atmosphere.
The grave he is looking for is well hidden, but Hawks knows the path better than the back of his hand. It’s obvious it hasn’t been cleaned in years. Moss and ivy are growing all over the stone, making it almost invisible to the eye. The hero scrubs some of it off, pretending that his fingers are only trembling because of the freezing weather. It won’t make much of a difference, but he still feels the urge to do it.
“Hi, Touya. It’s me again.”
He can’t say anything more, not when sobs are trying to rise up his throat. So instead, he starts unpacking the bags he brought here. They’re full of presents, and if the mood weren’t so tense, he probably would be laughing about how he must look like Santa Claus himself.
Instead, he puts the gifts on the grave one by one. Most of them are kids toys. He never knows what to buy, because despite how close they were, he can’t tell what Touya would have liked, mostly because neither of them ever had the right to a normal childhood. Well, at least Keigo didn’t have one. He hopes that wherever Touya is now, he’s gotten luckier.
That’s why he keeps coming here every winter, with dolls and plushies and board games and everything a kid might want to find under a Christmas tree. To give Touya what he never had when he was alive. He hopes his friend can finally enjoy this time of the year like he should have all along, if he had been born in a loving family. He really does.
However, Hawks isn’t stupid. He knows that in the morning, every single present will be gone, probably stolen by poor people. It doesn’t bother him. He’s getting paid way too much money for his hero job and has way too little time to spend it all. Also, he’s more than fine with all of this going to kids in need, and he’s pretty sure that Touya would be, too.
When he’s done deposing all the toys, he finds himself at a loss for words. It’s the same thing every year. He always wishes he could talk to Touya, say some clever joke like he does in public all the time, but he can’t get the words to leave his lips. And yet, he never feels more open, more honest, than in those quiet moments. So he just sits next to the grave in silence and hopes that Touya doesn’t need words to understand what Keigo wants to tell him.
“What are you doing here, little bird? You’ll be late for the big hero party.”
Hawks almost jumps, startled. Usually, he can sense Dabi sneaking up on him, but this time, he was too lost in his own thoughts to hear him coming. He doesn’t want to do this, but he still forces himself to turn around and face the villain.
“Surprised to see me?” The arsonist smirks.
Hawks wishes he could punch the smug look off his face. He doesn’t have the heart to deal with Dabi’s antics, not right now and especially not here, in this place dedicated to Touya’s memory.
“I just thought you’d be babysitting the rest of the League for Christmas.” He shrugs, feigning nonchalance.
“Nah, all that celebration stuff isn’t for me. Never has been, really.”
“What, afraid that baking cookies and putting decorations on trees wouldn’t go well with your dark and edgy look?”
Dabi sends him a warning glare but the hero keeps on a fake smile. He’s the one who interrupted him during a personal moment, he shouldn’t expect Hawks to act nice.
“Criticize me all you want, but I don’t exactly see you singing Christmas carols either. What exactly are you doing here, anyway?”
Keigo almost winces at the question. He doesn’t want to discuss this, not ever and especially not with the villain.
“I could ask you the same thing.” He retorts.
“Don’t be silly, birdie. You know I followed you. Now, stop avoiding the question. Or could it be you have something to hide from the League?”
It’s impossible to ignore the threat that lies beneath those words. Keigo sighs. He knows that if he doesn’t want to fail his mission, he’ll have to feed Dabi’s morbid curiosity.
“I come here every year to pay my respects to my childhood friend and bring him gifts, okay? He never got to enjoy a happy Christmas during his life, so I…”
This time, his voice breaks for good. It takes all his strength to swallow his tears back, but he won’t give Dabi the pleasure of seeing him in such a miserable taste.
He catches a glimpse of surprise in the villain’s eyes, but that’s not enough to make his suspicion die.
“A childhood friend, uh? There isn’t even a name on that grave.”
Hawks is way too aware of it. Still, he wonders what is going through Dabi’s mind. Does he think he’s trying to communicate with the Commission through Christmas gifts? Keigo hopes it’s not the case, because if he starts messing with the presents meant for Touya in search of a message that doesn’t exist, he might just rip him apart with his talons, mission be damned.
“That’s because he was the son of a popular hero. His father didn’t want to draw attention to his death, not when it could tarnish his reputation. The location of his grave was never revealed to the public. Maybe it’s better like this. I would hate it if people flocked here just in hope of meeting someone from his family. Not that they visit either, but…”
There’s bitterness in his voice, but he doesn’t focus on hiding it like he normally would. The more Dabi believes he resents hero society, the more successful his mission, right? Who cares if some of his statements are rooted in truth?
The villain doesn’t comment on it, and now that Hawks has started talking about why he’s there, he somehow can’t stop words from flowing out of his mouth.
“I know coming here at Christmas’ night looks weird, but wherever he is now, I want him to know I haven’t forgotten about him, even if the rest of the world is trying to erase his existence. It’s just… He meant so much to me, with him I never had to fake who I was. No one else truly accepted the oddities of my bird quirk like he did. Maybe it’s silly of me, but I come here because I have a feeling it’s the likeliest place for me to reach him.”
When he stops talking, Hawks expects mockery. He knows that he’s shared too much and Dabi doesn’t seem the type to lend a shoulder you can cry on. Instead, the villain looks just as shaken as the hero feels.
“So you remembered…”
Hawks doesn’t have time to ask what he means by that before he’s being pulled into a tight hug. It’s not comfortable, not when his wings are being crushed under his clothes, and he’s about to wriggle away when Dabi whispers in his ear:
“Thank you, Keigo.”
This time, his eyes widen in shock, because just for a second, the villain sounded like…
“Touya?”
“Took you long enough.” Dabi snickers, but there’s something soft and warm in his tone.
Keigo doesn’t understand how any of this can be possible, how his childhood friend can be alive, how he became a villain. He decides he’ll worry about all of this later. For now, he settles on hiding his face against Dabi’s chest as happy tears trail down his cheeks.
Years after years, he’s whished to be reunited with Touya, one way or another, all while believing it to be impossible. So what if his childhood friend has become a sarcastic arsonist? He’s here, he’s alive and nothing else matters.
“You know, for someone who doesn’t like that type of stuff, you did pull out a pretty good Christmas miracle.” Hawks tries to joke through his tears.
It does get a chuckle out of Dabi.
“Maybe you bringing me gifts every year somehow magically made me into a Christmas person, who knows? By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice how you bought me a plushie of yourself, little bird.”
Keigo’s cheeks immediately turn red at that.
“I just didn’t want Touya, I mean you, to be alone. I saw it as a way to stay with you even though… You know…”
It brings new tears to his eyes, but this time, Dabi gently wipes them off with his thumb.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was earlier. I was afraid the Commission turned you into their heartless puppet, but now I see I was wrong to doubt you. I’ll never leave you alone again, I promise, Kei.”
Hearing his old nickname makes Hawks choke on a sob. Snow has started falling around them, and he would be laughing about how goddamn cliché this is if he weren’t so emotional at the moment. He hasn’t felt that happy in years, not since he lost Touya.
Starting from today, maybe he’ll care about Christmas, because it brought the most precious person to him back into his life.