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Tsukishima is running.
He’s running like he’s never run before. It’s extremely out of character. Tsukishima does not run, let alone run as fast as he can. His legs are sore already, and his lungs feel constricted, and there are cramps growing under his ribs. Breath comes out in harsh puffs, and he swears his glasses are fogging up from it.
Tsukishima is not only running, he is running away from the one person he’s only ever run to. Yamaguchi is still yelling after him, but Tsukishima can hardly hear him at this point. He’ll probably start chasing after him soon, once the shock of Tsukishima’s reaction wears off.
Yamaguchi just confessed.
He confessed to Tsukishima , of all people he’s ever met and known. Tsukishima is sure it’s a prank, a cruel joke played on a boy in love. There is no universe in which Yamaguchi would love Tsukishima back, he already knows. How could someone like Yamaguchi ever love someone like Tsukishima? Yamaguchi is all things beautiful. He’s sunflowers and sunshine behind the clouds and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day and frost on a window and just about everything Tsukishima loves on Earth. Yamaguchi is perfect, and Tsukishima is nothing.
It’s starting to rain. Tsukishima is still only halfway home, but he can feel the cool drops landing on his hair and see the sidewalk darkening. Tsukishima doesn’t mind the rain, not at all, but if he gets sick now, right before a game, he knows he might actually get murdered by the rest of his teammates.
He stops, turning to grab his umbrella from his backpack.
His backpack is not there.
His backpack is sitting next to Yamaguchi’s, just outside the doors of the gym, where Yamaguchi had stopped him.
If it were any other occasion, Tsukishima would not be turning around to retrieve it. It’s cold, and the rain is coming home harder, and there’s no reason he should be walking outside for so long while he’s soaking wet. Tsukishima is only turning around because, if he had forgotten his backpack, then Yamaguchi may have also forgotten his backpack, and while Tsukishima doesn’t care much if his stuff is ruined, he won’t let Yamaguchi’s things get ruined too, not when it was Tsukishima’s fault the backpacks were forgotten in the first place.
The rain was really coming down now, not quite a thunderstorm, but enough of a shower to chase people indoors. The sun was nearly finished setting as well, leaving the world darker with each minute. Streetlights were turning on as Tsukishima approached the gym again.
The backpacks weren’t alone. Yamaguchi is sitting next to them, curled around himself, shivering and crying. His sobs are almost too quiet to be heard over the pouring rain, but the shake of his shoulders is enough for Tsukishima to know he is crying. It reminds him of all the times Tsukishima found him after the bullies from elementary school had finished ridiculing him.
Needless to say, it makes Tsukishima’s heart hurt.
There’s no way to grab his bag without Yamaguchi hearing him. Honestly, he’s surprised that he hasn’t already been spotted. He supposes that’s a good thing; there’s no way he could face Yamaguchi right now anyway.
Tsukishima turns on his heel; there’s no need for him to be here. He never was able to comfort Yamaguchi in a way that mattered, and now Yamaguchi was crying because of him. It’s strange that Yamaguchi would be crying over this, given the fact that it’s Tsukishima who’s been pranked, but Tsukishima isn’t going to judge. Not right now.
As Tsukishima turns, the gravel under his foot crunches just enough for Yamaguchi to hear. Tsukishima freezes when he hears Yamaguchi speak.
“Tsukki? You came back?”
His voice sounds nasally and his sniffs are loud. When Tsukishima turns back around, he sees that Yamaguchi’s face is red, his cheeks especially, highlighting his freckles in a way that makes him look almost like a strawberry.
“I wasn’t about to leave my stuff out in the rain all night. My homework’s in there,” Tsukishima says, trying to make his voice steady and not reveal the fact that he wants to cry too.
“Oh,” Yamaguchi wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “I see. You didn’t come for me.”
Tsukishima decides to hide the fact that he technically did come for Yamaguchi. “Would you have wanted me to come for you?”
This makes Yamaguchi start to cry again. He tosses his head back into his knees. “You’re so dense, Tsukki. Of course, I would want you to come back. You ran away after I confessed my love like I was the most disgusting thing ever. Am I disgusting, Tsukishima?’
Tsukishima does not like when Yamaguchi uses his full name, no matter how often he says otherwise. He also doesn’t like when Yamaguchi talks bad about himself. If it were any other day, he would immediately combat those words, but right now he’s stunned at Yamaguchi’s sudden accusation. He stands, dumbfounded and silent, trying desperately to make himself speak. Yamaguchi is looking up at him through tears.
He stands abruptly, grabbing his bag and jerking it up onto his shoulder as he rises. Behind the sadness of his eyes, there’s something deeper, almost a look of despair and anger mixed into one. It makes Tsukishima shrink.
Yamaguchi doesn’t turn around once as he walks away, the rain jumping off his coat but soaking into his hair even more. It must be dripping into his eyes.
As he walks away, Tsukishima thinks. Why would Yamaguchi have reacted like that solely over a ruined joke? Why would he have looked at Tsukishima with such a deeply emotive look in his eyes? Why did he wait in the rain for Tsukishima to return? Does he genuinely love Tsukishima, as he had said while baring his heart out after practice?
There are too many questions and not enough answers.
Tsukishima doesn’t like not knowing the answers.
Yamaguchi is far down the path now, walking faster than usual. Tsukishima feels like his heart is in his throat. There’s too much to process right now, too many answers needed, and too much going on in his head to fully understand what’s happening.
He’s running again, this time not away, but towards.
“Wait!” he calls, projecting his voice over the sound of the rain the best he can. “Yamaguchi!”
Yamaguchi doesn’t hear him, or he ignores him; Tsukishima doesn’t know. The only thing he is thinking now is how he has to get to Yamaguchi.
He’s running fast, faster than before, and his lungs burn even worse from this torture he is putting himself through. He’s almost caught up now, his height giving him an advantage. His shoes slap against the pavement, and water sloshes with his steps.
“Tadashi! Please, wait!”
This time, Yamaguchi turns. He’s still crying, but he wipes his tears away quickly. He definitely looks angry now, his eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched just the slightest.
“What, Tsukishima? What could you possibly do to hurt me more? Do you want to tell me how pathetic I am? How ridiculous this is? Do it, Tsukki! Tell me! Tell me I’m not enough! Tell me I’ll never be good enough for the great Tsukishima Kei! Nothing will ever be good enough for you!”
Yamaguchi does not wait for a reply. He turns away again, walking just as fast as he did before.
“Please! I don’t get it! I d-don’t understand,” Tsukishima says, voice breaking as he starts to cry himself.
“What’s to understand, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi says, looking just over his shoulder.
“H-how? Why? How can someone like you love someone like me? I’m nothing, and you’re everything! I don’t get it! What’s the reason?”
“Do I need a reason?”
“Aren’t there supposed to be reasons?” Tsukishima says before pausing and lowering his voice in embarrassment. “I-I have reasons.”
“W-What? What do you mean by that?”
“What do you think I mean, Yamaguchi? And you call me dense.” Tsukishima rolls his eyes.
“Do you mean you like me?”
Tsukishima huffs. “Obviously I like you. Isn’t that why you said you liked me? To make fun of me?”
“You’re an idiot.”
“That’s a bit harsh, Yamaguchi.”
“Do you really think I would joke like that? You’ve known me for years and you think I would play a joke on you over something like this. No, Tsukki, I wasn’t making fun of you. And if you want reasons, I’ll give you reasons. I’d give you anything you ever wanted, Tsukki.” He steps closer, almost close enough for Tsukishima to feel his warm breath on his cheeks. “I’ll give you the world, if you’ll let me.”
Tsukishima crumbles, utterly and completely. He crumbles, but Yamaguchi is there to catch him. Tsukishima doesn’t really know how it happens, but the next thing he knows, he’s kissing Yamaguchi, and he doesn’t feel any doubt in it at all. It’s a bit of warmth in the pouring rain. It’s salty from tears, and they’re both shivering from the cold, but somehow it’s the best feeling Tsukishima has felt in his whole life.
He decides then that nothing will ever feel better than having Yamaguchi in his arms.
Yamaguchi pulls away first, and he’s smiling brighter than Tsukishima has ever seen him smile before. He leaves his arms clasped tight around Tsukishima’s neck before burying his face into Tsukishima’s chest to hide his blush. Tsukishima rests his head on top of Yamaguchi’s, pressing his nose into Yamaguchi’s hair. It doesn’t smell bad like it should after volleyball practice, and it instead smells sweet, like Yamaguchi’s peach shampoo.
They stay like that, ignoring the rain until a jolt of lightning flashes across the sky, making them both jump. They look at each other and laugh. Yamaguchi clasps his hand in Tsukishima’s, and the warmth of his hand is enough to warm Tsukishima up head to toe.
“Tsukki?”
“Hm?”
“Where’s your backpack?”
Tsukishima looks down, where his bag should be.
“Shit.”