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“‘Tsumu, are ya sure about that? It’s only been a year since you and Kiyoomi got into a relationship.”
Atsumu, with twinkling and sparkling starry eyes, smiled to his twin with reassurance. Atsumu is indecisive, Osamu knows that. He can want one thing today and hate it the next day. Osamu recognizes Atsumu as someone who is only sure about volleyball, but now, there’s also one more thing that Atsumu is secured about.
Sakusa Kiyoomi. He, even if hundreds of years pass by, is Atsumu’s unwavering choice.
Tomorrow is Christmas. Also, that day is the day Kiyoomi comes home. And most importantly, it’s the day Atsumu targets to propose.
With Osamu and Suna’s help, Atsumu decorates their shared apartment. With garlands hanging, Christmas balls dancing, lights blinking, it’s only Kiyoomi that’s missing.
One o’clock in the afternoon. Atsumu estimated that his boyfriend will arrive at their place at one o’clock, and that’s thirty minutes away from now.
Two weeks ago was the last time that Atsumu last saw his boyfriend. It’s for a training camp in another country where Kiyoomi got invited to.
Finally, today, Kiyoomi is coming home.
Kiyoomi going back means Atsumu will be back home too.
As time ticks slowly, Atsumu’s excitement grows faster. His eyes went from the neat and minimally designed apartment to the white roses in his hand. Atsumu is well-aware that flowers doesn’t suit Christmas, but he wouldn’t want to miss the chance to shower his boyfriend with love.
One o’clock comes, but Kiyoomi doesn’t. Atsumu thinks it’s because of the heavy traffic, but Kiyoomi should be near by now.
Ten minutes, twenty, thirty— an hour passes. Kiyoomi doesn’t come.
Atsumu starts worrying. Osamu and Suna started texting him asking why he still hasn’t posted pictures of him and Kiyoomi.
Out of worry, Atsumu was about to go out and fetch Kiyoomi, but he hears the knob clicking.
“Omi!”
A sound of relief, joy, and excitement comes from Atsumu. Shock is spotted all over Kiyoomi’s face with his opened mouth and enlarged eyes.
“Atsumu?”
“Merry Christmas, Omi!”
Kiyoomi’s eyes caught the white and red color of his shared apartment with Atsumu before his boyfriend blocked his view of everything by engulfing him to a hug.
It was warm, Atsumu remembers that Kiyoomi has always given him warmth. Kiyoomi’s touch felt comforting and safe— almost similar to the feeling of home.
“What’s this?” Kiyoomi points out the apartment’s look.
“I decorated it!” Atsumu sounded so proud. A grin was obvious in his face.
Kiyoomi puts all his baggages down, sits on the Santa-inspired couch, and looks at Atsumu.
“You did this alone, ‘Tsum?”
“I did!”
“Really?”
Atsumu smiled sheepishly. “Well... ‘Samu and his boyfriend helped me a little. But I did most of it!”
Kiyoomi nods, seeing the amount of food in the table that he thinks is cooked by Atsumu’s chef twin.
“By the way, here!”
Kiyoomi’s eyes went from Atsumu who spoke to the white rose that was held out in front of him.
“What’s this for, ‘Tsumu?”
“I just missed giving ya flowers, Omi. Merry Christmas!”
Atsumu’s lips softly touches Kiyoomi’s forehead, two soft kisses were made.
“Let’s eat, Omi-kun?” Kiyoomi hums a soft agreement.
Kiyoomi feels quieter than usual, but Atsumu assumes that it’s because of exhaustion from his flight. He feeds his boyfriend with both food and stories.
After the late lunch the couple took, Atsumu cuddled Kiyoomi to sleep. Atsumu fell asleep after staring at the man beside him for an hour. He was too tired from decorating the place for hours that he ended up waking up around the time that the moon was already peeking. He was perplexed to wake up without Kiyoomi by his side.
“Omi?”
He finds Kiyoomi on the couch, a familiar box was in between his fingers.
“Omi...”
“Atsumu, what’s this?”
Atsumu exhales a large amount of air before making his way to his boyfriend, his soon-to-be fiancé, and took the box from his hands.
“This isn’t how I planned this to happen, really,” Atsumu starts, a soft chuckle comes out. “I wanted to do this a few minutes before Christmas ends, but you found this out.”
Atsumu smiled. He’s been waiting for this. He’s been planning this for months, waiting for the right moment to ask the love of his life to spend the rest of their lifetimes together.
“Omi-kun. My Omi-kun.”
Kiyoomi finds his breathing becoming heavier as time slowly ticks. He saw what was inside the box. He knows what’s about to come. He knows.
But he doesn’t want it to happen.
So before Atsumu could even utter one more word, Kiyoomi stands.
“Atsumu.”
“Omi, let me speak first—”
“I don’t want to marry you, Atsumu.”
Atsumu’s world crumbles. He envisioned his future with Kiyoomi from the moment that Kiyoomi has told him that he likes him. Every soft touches they make is engraved in Atsumu’s mind. Every simple moment he shared with Kiyoomi, he remembers it.
Who needs memories, Atsumu’s former school says. Atsumu thinks it’s him. He needs memories. He treasures every single memory with Kiyoomi. And he plans on making more memories with him.
But the other half doesn’t want that.
Atsumu couldn’t utter a world. His hands were shaking, he didn’t mind the box of engagement ring slipping from his grasp. Atsumu’s hooded eyes that always screamed love and happiness were filled with questions and pain.
“Atsumu, I... you know that we’re not each other’s soulmate, right?”
Atsumu’s lips were quivering, but he had to push himself to speak. His future— his life is on the line.
“Is that why ya don’t want to marry me, Omi-kun? But we already talked about that, right? Are ya still worried about me meeting my actual soulmate—”
“I met my soulmate, Atsumu.”
Atsumu’s crumpled world collapsed even more.
“I met him in the camp abroad. I love you, Atsumu, honestly, and I’ve always thought that I don’t need my soulmate because I have you.”
Atsumu slowly understood Kiyoomi’s point, and it hurts. It hurts so bad that it’s physically hurting his chest.
“But I met him. And everything changed. The warmth I felt from you and the warmth I felt with him... Atsumu, it wasn’t the same.”
One. Two. Three. Atsumu couldn’t count his tears anymore. It wouldn’t stop, it fell as fast as Atsumu’s heart getting destroyed.
“Atsumu, he felt like home.”
Kiyoomi is home for Atsumu. When he thought that having Kiyoomi back is the same as coming home, he wasn’t wrong. Kiyoomi will always be his home.
But Kiyoomi had a different home. And this time, Kiyoomi wants to go home. And that home is not Atsumu.
It was never Atsumu.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah... okay.”
Atsumu couldn’t say anything else. He wants to beg Kiyoomi to stay, to choose him, to come back home, but he knows he shouldn’t. Because he was the vehicle that accompanied Kiyoomi while he wasn’t home. But the time when Kiyoomi reaches his home and leaves his conveyance will come— and it came.
“Atsumu...”
Atsumu took all the courage left in him to stare at Kiyoomi’s round eyes for the last time.
“Merry Christmas. I’m sorry, I’m going home.”
Atsumu smiled bitterly. Kiyoomi is finally coming home to his soulmate after all these years. He’s coming home to the person who will have a happy ending with him.