Chapter Text
Sehyoon slowly shifted to a more comfortable position, trying his best to not wake Junhee who had placed his head in his lap. Over an hour had already passed since then and Sehyoon’s body began feeling numb. He hadn’t dared moving but his position had eventually gotten too painful and he hadn’t been able to take it any longer.
Junhee squirmed in his sleep but his eyes didn’t open and Sehyoon quickly went back to carefully caressing his hair, while he observed him. There was so much love burning inside his chest that it seemed close to bursting.
Soft sunlight fell on Junhee’s right cheek, making his skin glow golden and Sehyoon focused his attention towards the window and the scenery that was flying past them so that he wouldn’t accidentally end up kissing Junhee awake as he wasn’t able to control himself.
Sehyoon loved traveling. It always made him feel calm and free and he knew that Junhee felt the same way. Away from home, there were less people paying attention to them which meant that away from home, they could finally be themselves.
However, the first familiar looking buildings and hills reminded him of the fact that that would have to change again, very soon. They had been able to be themselves for two months; two wonderful months which now felt like nothing more than a dream, though the simple silver band on his finger told Sehyoon otherwise. It was reflecting the sunlight while Sehyoon was playing with Junhee’s hair and suddenly he felt the urge to look at the latter’s ring which was identical to his own. It was hidden underneath Junhee’s head, on the finger of his hand which was serving him as a pillow even though Sehyoon had already given him his coat to use. A new wave of adoration hit him and no longer able to control himself, he carefully glanced at their driver, before quickly bending down and pressing a soft kiss onto the corner of Junhee’s lips.
Again, his partner stirred in his sleep, for some seconds a tiny smile replacing the former pout, but also this time Junhee didn’t wake up. They had been on their journey the entire last day and despite loving traveling, Junhee still hated planes and always had a hard time falling asleep on them. That fact led to him passing out as soon as they sat inside a different vehicle and Sehyoon ending up getting used as a pillow. Not that he minded. He was all right with everything as long as it made Junhee happy.
The vibrating of his phone brutally pulled him out of his thoughts and he hastily answered it, glancing at his husband who was still fast asleep, unbothered by the world around him.
“Butler Kim?” Everything inside of Sehyoon turned cold at the sound of the familiar female voice and his hand in Junhee’s hair clenched into a fist.
“Yes?” He tried to make his voice sound as emotionless as possible.
“How long till you will arrive?” A glance outside told him that there wasn’t much time left.
“We’re very close, my lady. Maybe ten more minutes.” The only answer he got was a constant beeping, signalizing that the other person had hung up on him. He sighed, savoring the image of Junhee peacefully sleeping in his lap and the feeling of his soft curls between his fingers for some more seconds, before he carefully started rubbing his shoulder and calling his name,
“Jun-ah. Jun-ah!” His husband furrowed his eyebrows, the pout becoming more prominent, followed by him opening his eyes and blinking at Sehyoon sleep drunkenly.
“Are we there already?”, he asked, his voice still hoarse and Sehyoon shook his head, feeling the urge to caress his cheek but he stayed still instead.
“Not yet but we will arrive soon.”
“Shit.”, Junhee mumbled and with Sehyoon’s help sat upright, his hair sticking out into every direction from his head. It looked extremely adorable and he couldn’t help but smile and try to smoothen them. Junhee let it happen, leaning into the touch and closing his eyes once more, clearly enjoying the feeling of Sehyoon brushing his hair with his fingers. Once he was done, he wanted to pull his hand away again but his husband quickly grabbed it, holding it in his lap while he looked at him with sad eyes.
“So that’s it? We’ll go back to pretending as always?” Sehyoon smiled sadly.
“As always.”, he replied, feeling his heart clenching in his chest. The thought hurt him just as much as it hurt Junhee. The latter nodded slowly, his shoulders slumping down even more. Gone was the careless man with whom Sehyoon had spent the last two months. What stayed was a boy who looked like the weights of his burdens were close to crushing him.
“It won’t be for forever.”, Sehyoon said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. Perhaps he would be able to even convince himself like this. Junhee lifted his hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against his knuckles.
“I love you.”, he whispered so quietly that only Sehyoon was able to hear it and the latter tried to put his answer into his smile while the car passed a huge, pompous gate and eventually stopped.
“We arrived, Your Highness.” The driver informed them and Junhee gave him a polite nod. He glanced at Sehyoon who encouragingly squeezed his hand one last time, before they had to let go of each other. Then Sehyoon got out of the car and made his way around it to the other side where he opened it for Junhee who gave him a grateful smile. He took his hands for support even though both of them knew very well that he didn’t need it and Sehyoon savored the warm touch until it left him again, only some seconds later.
Immediately a few servants rushed towards Junhee, greeting him with bows, before guiding him towards the entrance where he disappeared. Sehyoon stayed behind, helping the rest of the staff to unload their luggage while he mentally prepared himself for the weeks to come. Sometimes he really asked himself how his life had turned out like this. People his age usually worked in offices, became scientists or artists or were still studying, but here he was; working as a butler and bodyguard and already having broken every rule there was, despite the Park family being his first proper job. He knew that he wouldn’t have gotten it in the first place if it wouldn’t have been for Junhee and sometimes he wasn’t sure if that should make him happy or not. Because one thing was for sure; if he hadn’t met Park Junhee, then his life would be a lot less chaotic now.
Sehyoon put the last suitcase down on the cold marble floor and let his eyes wander over the familiar grand entrance hall. In the past three years, he had seen it a million times and still, he couldn’t shake off that feeling of walking into terrain he didn’t know the rules of. No matter how long he had tried to learn, there would never be a time when he would be able to move freely without having to be scared to set a wrong step, followed by the ground breaking away under him at any second.
“Are they having lunch?” Sehyoon’s question was directed at nobody in particular and a young maid nodded.
“Lunch is getting served right now.”, she replied and he thanked her, before making his way towards the dining hall. On his way, he passed many more servants, most of them welcoming him back while the old portraits on the walls watched over them with dead eyes. Sehyoon really hadn’t missed them and he couldn’t wait to get into the newer and brighter part of the palace.
However, the closer he came to the dining hall, the further did his stomach turn itself upside down and once he stood in front of the tall, heavy door, he took a deep breath. Loud voices of people arguing were sounding through the wood. Nothing out of the ordinary and still, going inside would be a difficult challenge to face. But he needed to be strong. Not for himself but for Junhee. Sehyoon exhaled and then opened the door as quietly as possible, slipping into the room while trying to stay unnoticed. He succeeded but he could have as well opened the door with a loud bang. Nobody was paying any attention to him anyway.
There were three people on the table; two of them being involved in what seemed to be a very heated argument while a little girl was extremely invested in feeding her lunch to one of her plushies.
Sehyoon closed the door behind himself, his eyes immediately finding Junhee who looked clearly upset. Whatever they were discussing, it made him feel uncomfortable and Sehyoon hated that he couldn’t step in to help him. They were married and still it seemed like they were nothing more than an illusion.
“Why now? Why not later?” Junhee’s voice was loud and full of anger mixed with desperation. It made Sehyoon’s skin prickle in a way that he didn’t like and he wanted nothing more than to walk over to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. However, since he couldn’t do that, he took his position next to the door instead, observing the argument while also making sure that nobody who wasn’t allowed would enter. Not that that was something that happened in a tightly secured place like this.
“There is no later! It’s already decided.” Junhee’s mother sounded similar angry as her son but at the same time her voice was much calmer and colder. It was clear that whatever it was that she had decided on, she wouldn’t change her mind about it, no matter what Junhee would say or how much he begged. Her son knew that, too, and still he opened his mouth to disagree, when his eyes fell on Sehyoon. He stared at him, obviously not having expected him, and slowly closed his mouth again without saying anything, while trying to blink away tears of anger.
“Let’s talk about this later...” He eventually mumbled, his clenched fists showing that he was still angry but his face looked more composed again. Lady Park nodded and gestured a servant to prepare for the dessert.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Sehyoon wanted nothing more than some time alone with his husband; every inch of his body yearning for Junhee’s touch and the feeling of holding him in his arms, but there was no room for such a private moment. Instead, they both had to work, consisting of Junhee talking to people, smiling for pictures or signing documents and Sehyoon following him everywhere to either make sure that nobody tried to harm him, or to refill his glass with water. After they had been traveling the entire last day, they both were exhausted but occasional glances and small smiles were the things that helped Sehyoon to push through.
Then it was finally time for dinner and Sehyoon made his way towards the kitchen, where he would eat together with the rest of the staff. At least that had been the plan until the buzzing of his phone made him put down his fork. His annoyance immediately got replaced by his heart starting to beat faster when he saw that it was Junhee who had texted him.
“Come to my room after dinner?” It was a simple question but the answer was already clear to both of them. Hastily Sehyoon shoved the food inside his mouth, the others giving him confused and curious glances. They would definitely gossip about him leaving in such a hurry but he didn’t care.
Sehyoon hadn’t even properly closed the door behind himself, before warm hands were ghosting all over his face and lips suddenly met his. Positively surprised he pulled Junhee closer, getting drunk on the feeling of soft touches and his husband’s body pressed against his own.
“I missed you so much...”, Junhee whispered, eventually breaking their kiss, and rested his forehead against Sehyoon’s. As an answer the latter couldn’t help but press another kiss to his lips.
They had been together the entire day but at the same time it felt like they hadn’t been this far apart from each other in a long time. After their secret wedding, Junhee had been forced to go to Japan for work and as always Sehyoon had accompanied him. However, while their days had been filled with visiting people and places or Junhee smiling for cameras (a lot), their evenings and nights had been entirely their own since Sehyoon had been the only staff to accompany Junhee. Therefore, the only other person in their small holiday home had been an old lady that came in to cook or clean now and then but hadn’t bothered them much. Japan had really felt like their honeymoon somehow… God, how much he already missed those days.
At some point, Sehyoon’s back had collided with the wall and while he had been too invested in their kiss to notice it earlier, he now felt a dull pain crawling up his spine. He really hoped nobody had heard all the noises and would come to check on them.
“Jun-ah... I think I should leave. It was an exhausting day and you should get some sleep.” Immediately a pout appeared on his husband’s face.
“You haven’t been here for long and I’m not tired! I—“, but he got interrupted my a yawn and Sehyoon chuckled, fondly stroking a curl out of his face.
“You can’t lie to me, you know that.”
“Then what about ordering you to stay? Is being the heir to the throne really this useless?” It was supposed to come off as a joke but Sehyoon could see the frustration that was shining in Junhee’s eyes and he took his hand. His husband looked at it and then back into his face.
“Please, stay for a little longer. I can just tell them that I was too scared to sleep on my own. They think I’m paranoid anyway!” Sehyoon thought about that. In Japan they had always shared a bed but here he had his own room, not too far away from Junhee’s and he wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t be too much of a risk to not return to it. However, then Junhee was tucking on his hand, pulling him towards the bed and Sehyoon knew that once again, Park Junhee was getting exactly what he wanted.
“My mother wants me to marry.” It was Junhee’s words that pulled Sehyoon back from the comforting darkness of sleep which he had been close to drowning in. Surprised his eyes fluttered open and he blamed his sleepy dizziness in his head for his confused reply,
“But… you’re already married.” Junhee in his arms turned around and even though he couldn’t make out much in the darkness, Sehyoon knew that he was looking at him.
“That’s true but she doesn’t know that...” They fell silent for some seconds in which Sehyoon’s brain started processing the actual weight of his husband’s words. Once they had sunken in, his body tensed.
“What are we gonna do now? Did you try to change her mind?”
“Of course, I did! But apparently, she already found a match... A daughter of some rich businessman. She wants more secure connections, I guess...” Sehyoon wasn’t able to stay still any longer and sat up, his hands clenched to fists. Gone was the sleepiness and what stayed were anger and desperation.
“So, she just goes and sells you?” Junhee sighed and then sat up, too, his hands finding their way around his waist, followed by him pressing his forehead against his bare back. When he spoke again, exhaustion was clearly audible in every word,
“You know how she is...”
“I do, and that’s why we can’t just let this happen! I can’t watch you lose everything again!” He felt how his husband‘s breath faltered and immediately Sehyoon regretted having brought up the past.
“It was stupid to think I could go into music arts back then... I’m a prince.”
“And that still doesn’t make you any less human!” Sehyoon turned around and carefully took Junhee’s face into his hands, noticing in shock that his cheeks were cold and wet under his fingertips. “You deserve to live too, Junhee.” He whispered, not able to hide the pain in his voice which he always felt when he saw his husband suffering. More fresh tears fell and this time Sehyoon could also hear sniffles.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Junhee eventually got out and Sehyoon pulled him closer while fighting against his own tears.
“You won’t lose me. Never. I won’t let them take you away from me. I promise.”