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The grand hall doors that are decorated in vines and steel beams open and Momo smiles at the standing crowd. In front of her, she spots the lucky man and he’s smiling so brightly, but the twitching of his hands says otherwise- a nervous habit she noticed Kaminari had in their third year. Watching as the flower girl - Eri - walk down the aisle and then the bridesmaids - all of the girls from their 1-A class (it followed the same class throughout high school, but it makes Momo feel old when someone says that they’re 26, and that it’s been 11 years since their first-year class.) - walk down the aisle and Momo takes her place as the last person to walk before the bride.
Taking her spot behind the last bridesmaid, the maid of honour sends a smile to the anxious bride and takes her walk down the aisle. As if all eyes on her (they are but they’re waiting for the bride, not Momo), Momo feels her heart race and her palms feel clammy against the bouquet she is holding. Looking down at the purple carpet laid out underneath her, Momo smiles and lifts her head, straightening her shoulders and silently laughing as she watches Kaminari fidget at the altar.
Almost at the altar, Momo looks at the groomsmen and falters when she sees two-toned hair and piercing heterochromatic eyes. Oh. That’s right. Todoroki is a friend of Kaminari and he’s a groomsman at the latter's wedding. Feeling her heart rate pick up, Momo blinks at him and averts her gaze. Memories from their times together come rushing back to her and, as if she is unlocking a Pandora's box of forbidden love, Momo feels water edge at her eyes. She feels like she is drowning, the water at her feet drags her and makes the dress she is wearing heavier. Momo dismisses the memories of her late teens and early twenties. This isn’t her wedding day. This is Kyoka’s and Kaminari’s wedding. This isn’t the one where she was going to be walking down the aisle as a Yaoyorozu and leaving as a Todoroki. Standing to the left of the altar and waiting for the bride, a piano greets the violins and a soft strum of a guitar makes Momo lift her lips in a smile. At least she could smile for Kyoka.
After all Kyoka had helped her with, the most Momo could do for her at this moment was smile for her best friend.
Watching as elegance walks down the aisle and, with shaking hands and ragged breaths, smiles at her future husband, Momo feels the loving bond Kaminari and Kyoka share. The audience of friends and family are in awe of her pale purple dress and stunning features of glossed lips and smokey eyes. Momo blinks away the tears of happiness and sadness and stands in awe of her best friend.
Kyoka makes it to the altar and passes Momo her bouquet which she holds steadily. She watches in pangs of jealousy for their happy ending but knows it’s far from that. They fight but they make up, they lose their cool easily, and they don’t make the best decisions. But they have each other and that is what Momo is envious of. Swallowing down her emotions, she looks at the groom and watches as his face pales at the woman standing before him.
Momo smiles. She is happy for them. More than anyone else in the room (excluding the pair that is getting married) and she shows that in her rosy cheeks and pearl eyes. Looking past the groom, she meets Todoroki’s eyes again. A cold chill runs down her spine and Momo nearly drops everything and collapses. She has to make it through an hour of being in the same room as him and then after, at the reception, can she hide in the bathrooms.
Sure, Momo had a silly crush on Todoroki in first year and that had developed into something in their second year. But it was strictly platonic with some minor exceptions of hugs and secret hand holding under blankets. In their third year, they had made it official. And just as she was then, Momo is nervous about being faced with Todoroki and the chance that he had moved on; because she hadn’t, and she was still hurting.
They say their vows and Momo can feel Todoroki watching her. His eyes trailing down her dress and fix on her face. She hates to admit it, but that little schoolgirl crush from years ago had come back. Her heart hammered in her chest and a slight wobble of her lip reminded her that looking into his hypnotising eyes isn’t good for her. Momo looks away and focuses on the officiant and Kaminari’s gleeful face.
Momo misses how Todoroki’s smile changed from when he was watching her to Kyoka.
The insistent tapping of her nails on the wine glass makes Momo feel like someone will talk to her at any moment, and as much as she loves catching up with her old classmates, there is a time and a place, and right here is not the time and place.
Sighing at her own thoughts, Momo thinks back to how Kaminari hijacked his first dance with his wife and her priceless reaction. Smiling, Momo takes a sip of her sparkling champagne. As she takes a gulp, she looks down at the bouquet of flowers she had accidentally caught. Another sigh escapes her lips as she thinks of the possibilities of her future if she had been more persistent.
Twirling a peony petal in her hand, Momo watches as couples dance to soft beats. Their movements of elegance and grace makes her stomach shift in envy and Momo has to remind herself that it’s not their fault that she was left outside and had no explanation as to why her phone was reading ‘We can’t date.’.
Watching as people danced into the night, Momo remembers how she would dance with Todoroki in his apartment and those nights when she couldn’t lift her feet because the weight of the world had become too much for her, he would lift her and gently hold her until she would fall asleep in his warm embrace. She realises just how much she wants to dance in those arms again.
Feeling her heart double and stomach drop, Momo dips her head and rapidly taps her fingers on the table. It wouldn’t hurt to go to the bathroom now, would it? She rises from her seat and quickly makes her way to the bathrooms where she can calm herself and dine on the free mints. Swiftly moving past people, her purple dress flows across the room, and in a blink, Momo is inside the bathrooms.
With a heavy breath and nervous hands, Momo walks to the sink and washes her hands as she eyes herself in the mirror. The soft pink lipstick colours her lips and the mascara brings out her sharp eyes. Slapping her cheeks, Momo sees the rosiness return to them and nods when she is satisfied with her appearance. Her hair is in loose curls and she twists the flower in her hair before taking it out.
Momo clutches her cheeks and groans into them. Why was her heart betraying her thoughts? She knew it was time to move on and that it was for the best, but the thought of going out with someone that isn’t Todoroki hurt more than the phantom that had clutched her heart for two years. Resisting the men and women that had approached, Momo felt like she was stuck; like a loop put on replay. She would wake up, shower, think, eat, think, work, think and think more. It was tiring, and when she wasn’t thinking Momo was sleeping and in those rare dreams she had, she would freely dance with Todoroki where they were free to run in fields. Those dreams were Momo’s reality for a number of years, until Todoroki called it off. No reasons and no explanation as to why.
No care for how she was afterwards.
Not that Momo cared for herself. She had thrown herself into work and rejected her own needs. It wasn’t until Kyoka pulled Momo out with a crisp slap and a raincheck. That’s why Momo smiles in the mirror even though her eyes are brimming with tears. Kyoka worked hard to get Momo out of that and there was no way Momo would relapse and go into her slump of Post-Todoroki-Break-up.
Putting her fist on the counter and looking at her reflection, Momo begs herself not to cry as memories of her life with Todoroki appear before her. Times where he would plead for her to stay in bed with him for five minutes because the morning cuddles got him through the day; where he would kiss her cheek and help her cook dinner; when he used to buy her flowers because, even though he disliked them, she did and he did things for her. Tears well in her eyes, and Momo lifts a hand to wipe them away.
“Get yourself together, Momo. Just a few more hours,” she mutters to herself, watching as a few tears slip down her cheeks. Getting some paper towel and dabbing at her cheeks, she fixes her makeup and stands in the mirror again.
Dabbing at her eyes and sniffling at her state, Momo puts the towel down and smiles in the mirror. Her nose is red, her cheeks have colour, too. Her eyes, glassy and ready to burst, but resilience keeps them at bay. Taking a mint from the middle of the counter, Momo pops it in her mouth and closes her eyes. The soothing burn that it has calms her and she regains any sanity from being at the same venue as Todoroki.
“You look as beautiful as the day I left you.”
Momo’s head whips towards the door and her eyes fly open. Standing before her is none other than Todoroki Shoto, pro hero and her personal heartbreaker. Heat rushes to her cheeks. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Momo struggles for words because being this close to him has that phantom begging to go closer and her heart agrees. Taking a step back, Momo’s mouth goes dry and her heart is ever increasing in pace.
“...I was wondering if we could talk?” Todoroki asks, his hair falling in his eyes and Momo remembers how she would push it back and kiss him like he was her world. He wasn’t, but he made it spin and when he stopped spinning it, the cycle of thinking hadn’t stopped. It was as if he had traded places with a memory of her past every time she had freetime.
Momo shakes her head, her voice getting lost with the thrumming of her chest. Todoroki steps closer to her, and she can see how some wisps of his red and white hair have mixed, and how much she just wants to hug him and fix those hairs and kiss away his fears.
She shakes her head, taking a step back. The small of her back hits the counter and Momo looks down, away from those hypnotising eyes. The tears, begging to fall, stay and the sniffle of her nose can be disguised as a bad hayfever day. Momo keeps her head down and she pushes her way out of the bathrooms.
Momo misses how Todoroki’s hand reaches out after her.
The air outside was calming and the breeze made the burden of her heavy heart seem lighter. The lights from the city sparkled and Momo felt her breath get taken away. Looking behind her and watching the bride and groom dance the night away, a smile tugs at her lips; the beating of two hearts tied and a rhythmic pace to which they dance to takes her breath away. Turning back around and leaning on the balcony, Momo sways to the wind. Her hair dances behind her and she closes her eyes, hoping that this night would end sooner so she could cry sooner. Her heart is burdened with Todoroki’s presence and though she still frets and worries for him, she needs to slowly move on. The years of pining and hopeless romanticism are gone, and now Momo has to face the real world. One where Todoroki doesn’t spin it.
Momo supposes that this is the karma for her not attending her class reunion. The fear of seeing Todoroki and him going near her made her brain malfunction and it scared her that she would blurt out that she still loved him. So she made a deal with herself, she would check the tabloids and his profile; as long as she doesn’t see deceased next to his name, Momo could move on and continue her daily life.
Minutes turn to half an hour of waiting for the night to end on the balcony and the only productive thing that has happened is that the music has now changed from slow dances to, as Kaminari dubs it, “bangers”.
Looking down at her hands and tapping against the concrete railing, Momo sighs. Bracing her chin against her other hand, Momo leans against the railing and stares at the star-filled sky. The glitter against the velvet blanket appears bright and white and Momo smiles at how something not many people see is still gorgeous.
Sensing a shadow behind her, Momo slowly turns around. Before her is Todoroki, hair still slightly uneven and eyes still intense, his hands behind his back and a small smile on his lips. Swallowing her breath, Momo steps back and is met with the cement railing. Todoroki takes a step forward and takes his hand from behind his back out. She sees the bouquet she had caught earlier. White peonies and yellow daffodils decorate the centre and lavender is framing the sides. Momo’s heart swells at the image before her.
“I want to talk, Momo.”
Momo shakes her head, her throat tightening again and her heart thumping against her chest. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.
He takes another step and Momo shrinks into herself. “Please, Momo. Let me talk,” he soothes.
Looking down and letting out a shaky breath, Momo decides that now is the time for her to leave. The bride and groom had danced, she had played her part in the wedding and it was a wonderful event. Apart from when Todoroki approached her. And now, when he was slowly trapping her against the rails in an effort to get her to listen to him.
Stepping sideways and in an effort to avoid any confrontation with Todoroki, Momo steps forward but is met with a black suit jacket. Sighing for the umteenth time tonight, Momo settles on the rail.
“I don’t want to talk, Todoroki-san.” Even saying his name out loud had her choking on her own tongue as she fumbled on words. His eyes, alert and sharp hook her in and Momo knows that she won’t be leaving without another scar on her heart.
“Then let me talk, yes?” He settles next to her. His warmth radiates off of him in waves and no matter how many times he had warmed her, he still left her in a cold chill and he had never warmed her since. Momo steps to the side to keep the breeze.
Without nodding, Momo leans on the railing and closes her eyes. She remembers how he would lift her on his back and lead her around the city whilst telling her stories. When he used to snuggle up next to her and keep her warm. When he left her in the snow and texted her that it was not for the best if they continued dating. Momo had a cold for two weeks.
“I know what I did was horrible,” Momo scoffs and looks towards the stars, because when the sun had set and she was freezing outside of his apartment complex, the moon listened to her cries. The moon was there for her when Todoroki was not.
“I want to try again. Us. As in we start again. You and me; us.”
Momo gaped at him, her eyes filling with tears again and the feeling to run away strong. She stays silent and looks back at the night sky, hoping that this time when Todoroki leaves the moon won’t hear her broken sobs.
She shakes her head. The thought of heartbreak shakes her bones and leaves them chilled with the knowing future of being alone. No one could ever measure up to the time Todoroki and herself had; the times building forts and stolen kisses in between book-marked pages.
If Momo is going to be honest with herself, she knows the answer she would pick. The chance to restart and fix any wrongs she had done in their past relationship was too tempting. To hug him without the feeling of impending doom that she has to hold herself up to something. To restart and wake up in his arms again. Then she remembers that he had broken up with her, no excuses and no reason as to why. The logical part of her fights her heart and non-logical brain. Part of her wants to return to the safety net she had built over the years without Todoroki, of her cycle of thinking and maybe (she won’t but it’s hope that drives her) to move on. The other half wants to look Todoroki in his eyes without the fear of crying, wrap her arms around him and say yes. To feel the warmth that he hadn’t given her and to embrace him without the feeling that she is drowning.
“What happened last time won’t happen again. I promise,” he looks at her and Momo can feel his piercing gaze on her.
“...I don’t know..” Momo wants to be with him, she has ever since second year, but the fear of drowning consumes her and she starts to believe that this - them being apart - is for the best, because that way she won’t be in pain, and Todoroki could freely move on. But he doesn’t want to. He wants her back and that makes the phantom on her heart clutch it tighter. The water at her feet before feels as if it’s leaving, and Momo supposes that’s good.
“Let me make it up to you, then,” his voice, calming and deep, just as she remembers and Momo can’t stop herself from falling in love with him again.
She takes a deep breath, holds her head high and tells herself that he won’t go away until she gives him an answer. An answer that could possibly ruin both of their lives or one that could let their relationship blossom into one where they’re both happy, where they can hold each other and take the time to talk. To fix all the mistakes that had led to their previous breakup.
“If you want to start us again… then you have to wait… I’m not ready.. You left this gap and I’ve been trying to fill it. So... all I ask is that you be patient… and then maybe…” she trails off, her breath lost and tears, which have been brimming on her eyes, start to fall.
She looks at him, bathed in the moonlight and her breath is taken away. “If you’re patient… then we can,”she looks into his eyes and is immediately hypnotised by his gaze.
A small smile twitches his lips and Momo feels like she is drowning again, except this time she isn’t drowning in water that’s making her heavy, this time it’s his affection and she’s floating on clouds. She nods and taps on the railing.
“I have your flowers,” he stretches his hand out. Momo hesitates and takes them away, not missing how her body jolts with the slightest skim of their fingers.
“I left them at the table for a reason.” It was true. How could she hold flowers that made her look like a future bride when the only person she envisioned her future with wasn’t there to congratulate her?
“They looked better in your arms.”
A steady blush worked from her ears to her cheeks and down her neck, “Right…” she nods, her fingers tightening around the bouquet.
“Mo, look at me?” he gently asks, and when he says her first name the tears that hadn't stopped falling increase. She shakes her head.
The Momo he knew was confident (with the minor confidence issues but he had helped her overcome that) and she was fearless. The Momo that was created out of a heartbreak was like her fifteen year old self; low on confidence, scared of not saying the right thing and fearful of everything. However the Yaoyorozu he knew was still the shy girl from high school, who had insecurities and had an infinite love for tea. It may be dumb, but hearing Todoroki say ‘Momo’ hurt more than their text message break up.
He coaxes her to look at him through feather-light touches of his hands and when her glassy eyes meet his, she’s fixed on how they reflect the stars and the lights and herself. Shaking her head in his hands and wiping at her own tears, she whispers, “No first names… It hurts..”
He nods in understanding and asks again, “Yaoyorozu, look at me?” She answers, lifting her head from where the button of his tuxedo jacket meets to his eyes and though he only said her last name, Momo feels lighter, like she could walk down the aisle again and this time not feel like she was being watched (she was, but who is to say she wasn’t?).
Through glassy eyes she can see how his eyes are concerned. “We don’t have to rush. We can choose how our story goes. I won’t leave you again, but I need you to answer me.”
“Friends first… then, if something was to happen,” Momo swallows, “Then… maybe more than friends…”
Shakily removing his hands from her face, Momo wipes the rest of her tears and breathes in the fresh air, the air that hadn’t been mixed with his cologne. Maybe all she could be with Todoroki was friends…
The rampaging thoughts of why he left her made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. That there was always someone better than her (there always was, but Todoroki made her feel like she was perfect, and though she had imperfections, he kissed them away and reassured her). Had Momo not done enough? Why had he left her? Was she doing something wrong? Biting her lip she turns and looks at the velvet sky. At least the brimming tears were no longer brimming, they had ran down her cheeks but there were no more of them. For the first time in two years, Momo felt lighter. Yes, she had the trouble of Todoroki wanting to be back in her life, but if she wasn’t willing to be with the person she had envisioned herself being with, then what was worth it? Of course it was. This was Todoroki-san and he had her heart.
Taking her bouquet and moving back inside, Momo misses how Todoroki fist pumped the air and walked away with a lop-sided smile. The moon doesn’t hear Momo’s sobs either.
In evening light where the footsteps along the creaky wooden flooring made his heart yearn to touch the hand in front of him. They had sat in a small café where pro heroes were regular and paparazzi was very little. Momo (yes, he calls her Momo in his head because when he says Yaoyorozu it reminds him of his mistakes) said that she can’t have him over at her apartment and that she couldn’t go to his, either. So, having to make the best of their situation, he proposed that they go to a café where she could regain her thoughts about them. Him.
It was a needed discussion, and it was one they had been avoiding for months. But Momo has been getting more chatty lately and maybe that's a sign that she wants an answer. Shoto hopes so because he doesn't know how much longer he can keep in his guilt.
The setting sun shines in from the window and hits her side profile and Shoto is stuck in awe. She’s in her usual pony-tail, cardigan and skirt but, now, here in the light, she looks like a princess that is waiting for her prince. Shoto can’t imagine how many princes or princesses Momo had turned down because he had hurt her with his selfishness.
“Did you want,” Momo hesitates. “Did you want some tea?” she asks, pulling the cardigan over her fingers and Shoto remembers how she would tug on his fingers when she was nervous.
“Green.”
It had become a common occurrence for Shoto to remember things that he had done with Momo and thought was normal. When they didn’t want to be seen in public holding hands, they held pinkies and though it was a minimal touch, it felt as if Shoto had the power to conquer anything. How she would try to make cold soba for him, and though it tasted appalling, he ate it because the food Momo made was made with love and that made it taste better.
She gets up and goes towards the counter and he watches her. She smiles that fake smile she has given everyone and it pains Shoto to know that he was the one who made that a permanent feature. Momo comes back with two cups of hot tea, one green and a herbal tea.
As she sits Shoto watches as the sun plays on half her face, lighting up her features. It brings him back to times where they had a campfire and she would lean into him and he would look down her face and be mesmerised by how ethereal she looks against the soft glow of something that is so destructive. Destructive; like him. How his warmth was a beacon for her, and when he left her he took that beacon, too. He drained her like a battery and he had no care. Still, she’s here; in front of him. She is smiling that smile that breaks him everytime he looks at it, but he can’t help but be entranced by her features. She had always made it impossible to not look at. How that orange hue of destruction lit up her face, and for a moment, her world. It made him wonder how she would look if they danced and she was in a red gown, dancing in elegance as she giggles into his shoulder and he holds her close to him and kisses her ear, praising her for how she manages to be the star guiding him.
Her hands are back on the table and they’re playing with her cardigan - an obvious sign of nerves. Shoto used to be the one to calm her, but now it seems she is only getting more agitated in his presence. It makes him feel more guilty than he did before. He just wishes to move his hands from his side of the table to hers and engulf them in warmth so she might have some peace of mind. But knowing her, it would also send her mind into overdrive and she would ask for him to let go. He’s stuck in a stalemate and no matter how he wants to get out he’s stuck with the fear of scaring her more. Shoto is lucky that he had gotten her number off Jiro, because if looks could kill, he would have been obliterated.
“Why did you do it?” she looks at him, her gaze determined and if he was to look down at her hands, he’d see that her fingers are bleeding. But he’s so entranced that she’s looking at him and speaking and not shying away that he doesn’t look anywhere but her pretty eyes.
He blinks. “Do what?”
He sees her struggle for words, and he wishes more than anything, to hold her hands and make her look at him because her anxiety of talking to him makes his heart hurt. “Why did you,” she says, “Why did you break up with me?”
Shoto sighs. He knew this was a question that he had to answer before they moved forward in their unstable friendship to a possible more-than-friend- relationship. She wanted closure and he hadn't given it to her over the past two years. But Shoto’s past had stuck with him, his failures, worries and doubts had stayed with him like a weighted ball tied to his limbs until he was drowning in his woes. The failures he had, big and small, had haunted him and on those nights where he would hold Momo, those failures and doubts crept up and whispered that he was dragging her down too.
He looks at her and his mouth goes dry at how her eyes are starting to tear up. Oh, how he wishes he could wipe them from her eyes and kiss her to tell her the words he couldn't convey.
“Because… I felt like you were drowning…”
She gasps and her eyebrows raise. Shoto sips his tea and looks at her pretty onyx eyes, “I felt like my failures would pull you down and that you would grow to be like me. And that thought, the thought of losing you was less scary than watching you be consumed by something that I had done to you. So; I called it off. I needed you away from me so I could heal and that I could find peace with my failures.”
And he did. He found peace with himself.
Her fingers shake on the table and Shoto realises that not touching her has him antsy too. So, in an effort to comfort her, he takes her fingers in his and gently warms her one hand. She shakes her head, “You didn’t drown me,” she tugs her fingers back to wipe at her tears and when they come down, Shoto doesn’t miss how she lays her hand gently atop of his, their fingers barely touching but that small skin to skin contact makes his fingers twitch and he just wants to hold her.
“You could never drown me.”
He could drown her in his kisses. That sounds nice. Her face being peppered by his kisses as she laughs. Her hands, covered in grazes and dirt. Her neck, warm and inviting as he made his way to her lips. If only he could find the courage to tell her.
“W-what?”
Oh. Oh shit.
He flushes and pulls his hands back, immediately missing the warmth of her fingers. “I-I didn’t mean… I just.. I mean-” He stopped himself before he said something really stupid.
But sitting there and watching as a beautiful red blush blooms on her face makes him shift in his seat, and suddenly all he can think about is kissing her hair and holding her as she hums and they dance in his kitchen.
An epiphany hits Shoto. If he were to slowly progress their relationship for them, maybe he could feel her warmth sooner. Hold her in his arms and have her drag her hands through his hair as he recharged on her chest.
“I want a real reason, Todoroki-san.”
He furrows his brows, “I gave you one.”
“What is the real reason why you broke up with me. You would have mentioned that you were scared, but I could have helped you through it,” she says, her voice determined and her gaze sharp.
Shoto supposes that the seven months of meeting up and talking have made her more brave. “I broke up with you because that sparkle in your eyes scares me. The fear that I could take it away hurt more than watching you from the side-lines. I did what I thought was right, but in doing that, I realised how lost I was without you.”
Her gaze softens, eyes gentle and Shoto thinks she looks so, so pretty. He takes her hands and his and he doesn’t miss how she flinches away but then lets him knead his thumbs in her knuckles. “You brought that sparkle, Todoroki-san.”
His heart freezes and it doubles. It’s then he realises his mistakes. He watched her walk down the aisle, her smile tight and her eyes shining. Except that shine wasn’t the one he had grown to love, it was one of fat tears that were about to burst. He realises that she hadn’t had that sparkle in any of the interviews that he had seen her on. Sure, she had it when she was with her friends, but she rarely had time with hero work and public matters surrounding their relationship. Shoto realises that he brought that sparkle and when he had left, he took that sparkle with him.
He had broken their relationship because he was afraid. He wanted Momo to find someone better than he was (she had kissed him and said that no one else was for her) and even though she had no one, he left her; because he was afraid. But those two years of finding peace of mind helped him. He got to gather his thoughts and he realised that breaking up with Momo was the stupidest choice he had ever made.
“...I’m sorry. I thought I was protecting you,” he rubs her knuckles again and when she lets out a small hard-to-hear hum, Shoto smiles because Momo is finally getting comfortable around him again.
Momo shakes her head and Shoto wants to kiss her. To feel her lips against his, but he reminds himself that he has to be slow and that he has to pace himself. Momo hasn’t fully healed yet. Though, with the way he is racing after her, maybe he could heal her for her. To hold her on the nights when she couldn’t get up herself and kiss her in assurance when she felt like she wasn’t enough.
“Oh! I should get home, Todoroki-san,” she says, already moving to stand up. His hands tap the table and when she stands up, Shoto can’t help thinking that she looks as gorgeous as she did when she was in that purple maid of honour gown.
“Can I walk you home?” Shoto asks before he can even comprehend the sentence. He watches as she tugs her bag over her shoulder and hides her fingers in her cardigan. It’s too late he’s already seen the dry maroon on her fingers.
Standing and moving towards her hand, he beckons her hand to be placed in his. She hesitantly complies and places her hand in his. Running his fingers along her own, the dry blood falls in flakes and he looks in her eyes, shock taking over his fingers. She looks down and chews on her lower lip, “I-it’s a nervous habit… I pick at my nails, and when there’s no nail, I start to pick at my skin which causes it to bleed…”
Reaching in his pocket and taking out a handkerchief, Shoto gently wipes the blood away. Once clean, he raises her hand to his lips and presses a kiss to it. The feel of her skin against his lips has his mind running and he doesn’t care anymore. He will go slow for her, but he will not let her know how much she means to him. He wasn’t very good with words anyways.
Watching as her eyes widen, mouth gapes and blush starts to reappear, Shoto smirks. He has always liked a shocked Momo. She pulls her hand back and leaves the store first. Following her out into the dark street, Shoto finds his place next to her and after five minutes of comfortable silence, he picks up her hand. Kissing it again, he gently entwines his pinkie with hers and when he lowers them, she doesn't pull away. Shoto’s heart sores and he thinks that the seven months of slow mending had made this possible.
Walking down the street with his pinkie laced with hers, Shoto misses the sparkle in Momo’s eyes and her small smile as she looks down.
That was when the little displays of affection started. That night when he held her pinkie and walked through the streets. Momo had asked him not to take her inside, but she had mentioned that she appreciated him walking her home.
That night on the way home, Shoto thought about the next time he could feel her hand between his and maybe if he was going to push his luck, that he could get a kiss on her hand again. It’s not hard to understand that Momo was still getting used to him, so Shoto making these moves, as much as it felt great, he still had to maintain awareness on what would make her uncomfortable.
The second time it happened they were coming back from a pottery date (Shoto called it a date, Momo nodded and stayed silent, though he didn’t miss the pretty pink blush that bloomed on her cheeks). They were walking back to her apartment (Shoto still had to drop her off outside because she was scared. He understands; if someone did what he did to Momo he wouldn’t give them the time of day. But Momo did and that’s what matters to him.) with their mugs in their hands.
Shoto remembered how she was making it that she had gotten clay on her cheek. As he gently swiped it off with his thumb, he felt her breath hitch and her glassy eyes appeared again. He just smiled at her and let go because being that close to Momo was too much and if he did it again, he’d place kisses on her lips and drown her in the love he hasn’t been able to give anyone for two years.
As they walked down the busy streets, Shoto kept his gaze forward and with the minimalist effort of putting his hand out sidewards, he found Momo’s hand. She stopped in the middle of the street and gaped at him, her glassy eyes were back and he wanted to hug the tears out of her because he was the one who put them there. Closing her mouth and stepping forward again, she didn’t let go of his hand. Shoto nearly picked her up and spun her around. Instead, he settled for squeezing her hand and when she lightly squeezed it back, Shoto smiled that grin that he doesn’t use unless Momo is around.
Walking down the street with his pottery cup in his pocket and Momo’s hanging by her other hand, he found clarity at that moment. That moment being walking down the street and holding Momo’s hand as he walked her home from a successful date with the person he had come to love over the past nine years. He had never said it to her, he felt like he wasn’t good enough and that when he did say it that he would taint her. That her smile would dull and her sparkly eyes wouldn’t shine and instead be void of colour and any emotions. But he’s realised that he took that away from her when he left. Shoto promised to never leave Momo again because those two years without her, whilst it made him stronger, it also left a gap in his heart and being with Momo fills that gap. He really wants to tell her how he feels. Or, Shoto hums, show her.
Shoto had learnt to slowly and gently take down Momo’s barriers. It took him seven months for him to be able to hold her pinkie and another month for him to hold her hand. Shoto didn’t mind taking the time to love Momo for every fibre of her being, but he just wanted to hold her and kiss her freely, dammit.
Their next big barrier break was Momo agreeing to let him in her apartment complex (it was raining and though she could have made an umbrella for him, she asked if he would like a cup of tea).
He had sat at her couch and so many memories resurfaced that he can’t help but smile at each memory. Remembering when he would lay on her couch after a long day of work and recharge as she carded her fingers through his hair, how he would brush Momo’s hair when she was too tired, and how they cuddled on the same couch to watch movies because when Shoto didn’t want to leave he stuck to Momo like a leech.
After the movie they watched and discussion they had after said movie, Momo had led him to her door and just before she was about to close the door, Shoto stopped it with his foot. He bends down, looks into her eyes and when she shakes her head, he sighed and kissed her cheek. The need to kiss her grows everyday, the need to hold her close and whisper that she’s okay to be near him. The need for her to trust him enough to feel comfortable again.
He walked away with his hands in his pockets, the feeling of her rosy cheek on his lips had a smile on his face because he’s breaking down these barriers.
Another two months of secret hand holding and here and there kisses on the cheek, Momo started to respond. First, she started to twine her pinkie with his when they were at markets and she was wanting to look around without getting lost. Momo then started to hold his hand when they were in the privacy of her apartment and Shoto almost tugged her into his chest, because she’s doing so much for him, and he’s so proud, and he just wants her to be happy because it’s the least she deserves. She said that she had that sparkle with him and after not seeing it for so long, he can and he won’t ever take that away from either of them.
Whenever Shoto smiled, his full, crinckled eyed smile, Momo would return it with a shy smile and pretty red cheeks as he would slowly close the distance between them on the couch. Soon, their three feet apart merged to two and soon, when Shoto just wanted her to hold and assure, he tugged her closer in the middle of the movie. The shock in her eyes made him hyper-aware but she did not move away from Shoto. His heart swelled and he hid his wide smile in her hair as he rested his head on hers.
By the time the movie had ended, Momo was fast asleep on Shoto’s chest and he didn’t have the heart to wake her up.
When Shoto had draped the blanket over Momo and silently closed the door behind him, he missed how Momo reached out for his warmth.
Months go by again and Shoto is walking down the street, his hand entwined with Momo’s, he notices that her eyes sparkle the same way they did before they had broken up. A content smile plays on her lips and Shoto is struck with how much he wants to kiss her.
It had been over a year since they had started talking and as many times as he had kissed her head, he wanted to kiss her lips, to feel her lips against his. She had kissed him on his cheek too, but it was rare but she was being more open now and Shoto was proud of her. Because she was hurt and she was recovering with him. The person who hurt her and left her in the snow for three hours.
Initially it had been a slip up, he hadn’t meant to say Momo’s first name, but Shoto supposes saying it in his head so often that it was bound to come out of his mouth. Momo had first told him that it was still too raw, but after a few more months of calling her Yaoyorozu and going back to the same routine of holding hands and being oblivious to each other's feelings, Shoto stopped. Stopping in the middle of the street, her hand engulfed by his, and asked if he could call her Momo because it hurt him to say Yaoyorozu. She reluctantly agreed and she pulled him to the train station where they would go get gourmet ice cream.
Taking Momo to her apartment after their date of playing on park equipment and pushing her on a swing, hearing her giggles and making her smile. Smile like she hadn’t been left in the snow for three hours and left hanging by some flimsy text message. Smiling like she was having the time of her life being pushed on a swing by someone she loves. Shoto didn’t need to hear her say it, he never has, but her eyes tell what she’s thinking. Her eyes shine with love for him. And Shoto is positive that his own eyes shine with love for her, too.
Pulling her hand up to his lips, he presses a kiss along the back of her hand and his heart flutters because Momo looks at him and her smile is more than anyone could ever ask for. Eyes shining and lips wide in a smile she laughs a free laugh and playfully bumps into him. Shoto shoots a smile back and pulls her closer to him. It was easy to say that ever since the wedding between Kaminari and Jiro, Momo and him had grown closer.
At her apartment Shoto walks her up and presses a kiss to her head when she steps in the elevator next to him. At her door, Shoto kisses her cheek and when she nuzzles into his chest, he hugs her closer to him.
Watching as she unlocks her door and when Shoto moves to give her cheek a kiss goodbye, Momo stops him. Her hand against his chest and before he knows it, his eyes are fluttering shut and he’s pulling her closer because Momo is kissing him and her lips are finally on his after three years and they’re so soft. Arms loop around his neck and he’s never felt so close to Momo though they had kissed hundreds of times before. Her lips ignite courage and he wants to be with her forever.
She moves away, buries her head in his chest and mumbles, “You made all the moves…” Ah, so she had wanted to make the biggest decision of their relationship. Holding her close and laying his head on hers, he stands in silence and he hasn’t felt this full since he held her whilst she was sleeping and Shoto was thinking about a future. A future where Momo would hold a small hand in hers, gently guiding their child to touch her small baby bump. A future where they had a family.
“And now you did, which means I can do it freely,” he smirks and brings her lips to his again.
Their lips move together and before Shoto can think they’re apart and he just wants his lips on her again. To feel her mouth on his and hear the small hum of satisfaction as he would rub the small of her back with his fingers.
Instead of shutting the door with a kiss goodbye, she invites him in for some tea.
The green tea steam swirls in the air and Shoto is taken aback by how Momo is giving him free kisses. He supposes that since she had a decision in their relationship, that she could be more open and willing. That she could hug him and hold him and kiss him as she wished when she wished, and Shoto was more than okay with complying.
She plops down next to him and hums as she sips her tea. Shoto wraps his arm around her and she buries her face into his chest, still holding her tea. In all forms, Momo Yaoyorozu is elegance, grace, fierce and oh so very pretty. “Momo?” he asks, hoping that this time when he says her first name she doesn’t start to ramble.
Watching her beautiful onyx eyes look at him in surprise, a gentle smile graces her lips and she kisses him again. “Yes?”
“You look as beautiful as the day I saw you at the wedding.”
She places her teacup down, holds his cheeks in her hands and gently kisses him. Her lips, soft and plump fit against his and he can’t help but smile because the woman he loves is kissing him and she isn’t going to stop. (Not that Shoto minded, he loves her kisses.)
“...I think we can be more than friends now,” she whispers against his mouth. Her own grin breaks out and she’s giggling at what Shoto can only think be a shocked expression on his face.
“Momo Yaoyorozu, will you be my girlfriend?” Instead of a verbal answer, she nods against his mouth and kisses him again because after two years of radio silence and a year and a half of mending, Momo has decided what she wants. And Shoto is just what she wants. He smiles against her lip and breaks apart to hug her close to him.
Hearing a small “yes” and a kiss to his heart, Shoto hugs her tighter and rakes his hands through her hair.
After the whole celebration calmed down (all they did was snuggle into each other and kiss a bit more because Shoto had become addicted to her again and now he’s sure he never wants to leave.) Shoto laid across the couch as Momo went to put the cups away and grab a story book she was talking about (she had mentioned that stories kept her company when he did not). She came back, a big book in her hands and a smile on her pretty face.
Momo had settled across him and he opened the book. Starting to read to her as she laid across him made his heart full. She traced patterns on his shirt and kissed his heart when he turned the page.
“I missed you,” Momo mumbles against his shirt and when Shoto looks down he sees his world.
Bookmarking the page and putting the book down, Shoto holds Momo closer to him. He can feel her heartbeat and he’s sure she knows that by his actions he is telling her that he missed her too.
Holding each other close, they’re no longer at arms distance. This time when Momo looks up at him, Shoto doesn’t miss the sparkle in her eyes and Momo doesn’t miss how his lop-sided grin makes her heart flutter.
Epilogue
The sun is overcast and as the birds make their way across the sky, Momo is smiling because this is her day. There’s no gates that open and there are no vines and flowers that decorate the halls. Instead there are mountains in the background and a stone path leading towards her future as a Todoroki.
This time elegance comes down the aisle in a silk white dress and Momo feels everyone staring at her (and everyone is because she is the bride and today is her special day). And when Momo looks up to see Todoroki at the altar and waiting for her, she releases a shaky breath and continues to go to him.
At the altar, Momo hears Shoto whisper, “You look as beautiful as the day I proposed to you.”
She giggles at his words.
At the reception, Momo sits down, Shoto next to her and their hands entwined under the table. “I love you,” Momo says as she leans on Shoto’s shoulder and he presses a kiss to her hair and mutters the same words back.
It had taken Momo longer than she’d like to admit to tell Shoto that she loved him. After another year of dating, she had finally said it to him and though she didn’t feel like the words were enough, she wanted Shoto to know how much he meant to her. And although Shoto showed her how important she was to him with his actions, Momo always liked words. And telling him in words how much he meant to her made her feel like their relationship was real. Like it was more than just a trial run and that Shoto actually does want her and when she had said those words, he nodded and said, “I know” before pressing a kiss to her forehead and twirling her in a circle.
Shoto leans down to her ear and says, for only her to hear, “You’re stunning.”
Momo doesn’t feel envious and she doesn’t feel pangs of jealousy, instead she feels full and complete. Her world finally spins again and the moon doesn’t hear her cry anymore (except it does when they watch a sad movie, but Shoto is there to hold her as she sniffles into his shirt).
When Momo looks to Shoto she doesn’t miss anything. Doesn’t miss the smile on his face; the pretty pink blush because people keep going up to Momo and saying “Mrs Todoroki, what a pleasure!”; doesn’t miss how when he looks at her, his eyes are full of sparkles for her. Momo’s come to recognise those sparkles that Shoto was scared of tainting was love. And when he looks at her, those sparkles of grey and cerulean blue eyes has her heart stuttering in her chest.
Momo doesn’t miss how Shoto looks at her with love and she looks right back at him with the same sparkles.