Work Text:
10 YEARS OLD
Bokuto awed the looming Christmas tree after his sisters finally finished arraying it with sparkling and shimmering fist-sized balls and small stars. His eyes twinkled along with it, letting him dream of a world covered in soft white sheets of snow and snowball fighting and snow angels. He buried himself under the kotatsu for a short moment to collect heat without his eyes leaving the tree. It was beautiful. Very pretty and shiny. He would bring it to school if he was big enough and brag to his friends about how pretty it is. Albeit the fun din in the background from his family eating and teasing, with a drumstick in his hand, Bokuto watched the still tree radiate its beauty.
✦
Akaashi's brows furrowed at the silence in the living room. He tried to solve it by turning on the TV with a loud volume, the channel set on a funny variety show that he'd watch whenever he was alone. He brought a bowl of gingerbread cookies to the humble table in front of the TV, some milk, a paper and a box of crayons. Today, he decided he was going to look forward to the new year by setting goals and thinking about what to look forward to. He wanted to do a lot of things that he wasn't able to in the past year. He wanted to grow taller. He wanted to perfect three math tests, but so far, he had only perfected one. He wanted to be more talkative–his classmates told him that sometimes they forget that he speaks and he didn't want that. He wanted to hold his mother's hand even just for this occasion, because his parents were always overseas for work, and they always missed out on the holidays. He wanted to have someone to share his burnt gingerbread cookies with. Akaashi wiped away a tear and continued to color his drawings, and when he heard the TV make a joke, he laughed, even though he only understood half of it.
19 YEARS OLD
The times of the teenage months were fast. All wrapped around with scarfs and coats and jackets, the students of Fukurodani were in a bustling mess of finishing all the schoolworks and receiving instructions in club meetings. That was because it was the last of this year's school days, and Christmas was tomorrow.
The Fukurodani volleyball coach gave his final remarks, regarding their self-exercises throughout the vacation and wished them all well before dismissing them. Everybody was in a comforting commotion where others asked what food they were going to have this evening, or were they going to eat outside, and some similar questions. Across the benches, Akaashi heard his upperclassmen loudly and playfully argued about Santa's existence. Bokuto said he'd give the big man a hug when they would have a chance to meet, which made Akaashi giggle at the back of his mind.
"I bet it'd be so lonely giving gifts to children all by himself. I would let him in and give him hot chocolate as long as he doesn't steal our pretty Christmas tree."
Komi snorted. "Santa doesn't steal trees, you knucklehead. He puts gifts under it!"
"Well, yeah! But our tree is so fancy he just might want to!"
"Even if that's the case, he has too many gifts in his sleigh; it would never fit," Konoha commented.
"You guys. You haven't seen the beauty of it so you'd never know what you would do when you finally bask in its radiance."
Akaashi faced an internal struggle after hearing the sentence. Those were two deep words, he had a hard time believing that it was Bokuto who used them in his speech. He shrugged the thoughts after packing all his stuff. Time to go home. His legs and shoulders were a bit sore after extending half an hour to practice with Bokuto, while they waited for their coach earlier. Now all had been said, he wanted to rest immediately.
"Akaashi, Akaashi!" The unmistakable voice called out. Bokuto came over and sat beside where Akaashi's sport bag rested. "Where are you gonna go after this?"
"Home. I'm going to rest early."
"Huh?!" His exclamation echoed in the gym, a few of the members glimpsed at them. "Are you not gonna celebrate Christmas and eat and do fun stuff?"
"Ah, well... I'm not used to celebrating it."
"Wait, yeah, you're right... You did tell me your parents were overseas. Hmm..." He seemed like he was legitimately thinking hard. It was cute, making Akaashi smile inwardly. "I know! Why not join us with my family? My older sis has been mentioning that she wanted to meet you!"
Akaashi tried to hide the questions from his face. Has Bokuto been telling his sister about him? A foreign feeling bugged his cheeks and made his stomach churn. But as much as he wanted to meet them, he wouldn't want to barge in on a holiday that was supposed to be celebrated exclusively with the family.
"Maybe I'll meet her next time, Bokuto-san. I'm just really tired. Besides, my mom will be calling me later to spend time with me this evening," he bluffed, which was half-true actually, because he was truly tired. He had been finishing schoolworks since this morning and practicing all afternoon.
"Did I wear you out too much, Akaashi?! Man, you really need to work on your stamina!" Akaashi thought he finally realized what Bokuto had been doing to him but it only made him conjure a deadpan expression. "Anyway, okay. I'll accept those half-assed reasons for now. Wouldn't want to suddenly slam into an unknown territory."
It was these moments that made Bokuto uncharacteristically different to Akaashi's image of him. He sometimes spoke in phrases that had a lake of multiple meanings where he didn't know which meaning Bokuto meant, and he had to swim under in order to find out. He only stared at the man. Bokuto wasn't smiling. But he had this serious tone in his face; the stern brows that Akaashi longed to touch, the soft cheeks and cheekbones were not up and giddy, the pool of golden wonder where Akaashi would lose himself into were in some kind of stoic likeness – determined.
And just like that, when Bokuto smiled, he would find himself trying to straighten his buckling knees, silencing his maddening heart.
"I'll spend time with you next Christmas. Would you like that?"
Akaashi tugged on his coat. Bokuto would do this from time to time. He would try to be the one pampering him, granting his wishes and making his heart swell at unexpected moments. He was never used to this side of him. But that was not to say that he didn't like it. He loved these little surprises. And this instance was not different.
"Okay. Let's do that."
"Pinky swear?"
"Pinky swear."
22 - 24 YEARS OLD
Most of us plan our paths up ahead. Whether it be our passion, our careers, the people who we want to be with, and oftentimes it doesn't work the way as how we hoped it would. After Akaashi graduated, the path he wanted to take became a bit steeper when he didn't get to land on a job related to literature. He was forced to wander a little, an owl encountering a few crows along the way. Udai was kind of a jaunty companion, the kind where even though he looked and sounded dead, he was fundamentally spirited and very forward about things. It was contagious that even made Akaashi desire more from life. In which, it made him yearn for the intimate connection he had with Bokuto that wavered as time weaved through it, expanding the small hole of a gap between them.
And now, beneath the leafless branches of an ume tree was where Akaashi spent his Christmas evening. His parents were back in his mother's hometown, and he wasn't able to leave in time because of his workload. The cityscape that rested in this capital of the land where the sun rose comforted his lonely holiday. He wished Udai was at least there to drink beer with him. But all he had was the mustard yellow scarf Bokuto gifted him that promised Christmas.
He sighed, his breath creating a very small fog. Bokuto.
He wished he could look at him in person today... The closest meeting he had with the star athlete was when he was watching his recent match on his laptop–not too small like a smartphone that would strain his eyes, not too big like a television that would surely blind him. It was bittersweet whenever the camera showed him, his radiant smile transmittable to his own face, and with the device being a barrier it saddened him that he couldn't touch his fluffy cheeks and shower them with kisses.
All the longing made his eyes line with tears. He missed him like the tides constantly trying to reach the shore. Everyday was dim. But he might have been good the whole year that the gods decided to glimpse at his life.
A hand with firm fingers softly tapped his shoulder.
"Akaashi?" The voice was soft, but for Akaashi, it was unmistakable. His fake silent cool and social awkwardness was a dam that hindered his tears from falling. But that dam broke.
"Akaashi?! I'm sorry?! Why are you crying?! Did I do something?!" Bokuto was genuinely panicking, in his sweatpants layered with another thick athletic jacket and a gray scarf. He became more confused when he suddenly laughed. Laughing while crying. Way to go, Akaashi.
"No, uh, um," it was suddenly hard to think of something to say. "Uh, I was just... I miss my cousin."
"Oh really?" Bokuto sat beside him. "I didn't know you had close relatives! You always complained about them in the past."
Akaashi chuckled nervously. "Uh, yeah. Time changes people."
"I see! You haven't changed though! You're still weird." That was new coming from Bokuto. Maybe he changed too.
"And you know," Akaashi didn't quite catch this part, "beautiful."
"Come again, Bokuto-san?"
"Ah, I said you're still... sentimental!" Bokuto's speech never failed to amaze him even on this day. Sometimes he thought if Bokuto feigned is ineloquence.
"I see. What brings you here?" Akaashi assumed he was jogging with his getup. But he was jogging on Christmas Eve?
"Ah, I was jogging! I ate dinner with the team too early so I had more time tonight. And it was too cold so I decided to warm up by running!" Akaashi couldn't process all of what he was saying. He did want to touch his cheeks with his freezing hand though. Maybe they would warm it.
"Oh. That's nice."
Silence eventually conquered the conversation. It didn't help that this was their first meeting again in forever. Akaashi almost jolted when Bokuto started to speak again.
"I know this is weird to say but, uh..."
"Yes?"
"I missed you."
Dams were overflowing. Volcanoes were exploding. The universe was suddenly in its Big Bang state. His own heart felt like it was going to burst. And yet this moment was calm, placid, comfortable. Cold, but very warm.
Akaashi held his forehead to hide his struggling face. He thought the gods just glimpsed at him but they actually smiled at his fate? Is this a Christmas gift? He was thankful to the universe for that moment.
He brought his hand down. "Even though we didn't speak to each other for 2 years or so?"
"Chat messages don't count?"
Akaashi chuckled. "No."
"Well, that would just make me miss you more!"
"How so?"
"Because chat messages are teasers, you know. I badly want to see you but you were busy then I was busy then it lasted for like a lot of months then I was bothered because maybe you didn't want to talk to me anymore."
"You would never be a bother, Bokuto-san."
He had no response, but he smiled. "I really missed you."
"Me, too."
"Wanna eat yakiniku to catch up?"
"Sounds like a plan."