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Geonhak sat down on the windowsill, peering into the darkness below him. Only a thin layer of glass separated his body and the abyss. His house was so empty that the silence felt painfully into his ears. The boy sighed deeply, glancing at the sky above him. The celestial vault was decorated with delicate clouds of clouds like distant galaxies. Stars like seemingly spilled shiny glitter against a dark, sapphire sky. The lights of street lamps- city fireflies, whirling against the background of the surrounding darkness. Tall apartment buildings as if swallowed by the endless darkness of pitch-black ink spilled in the sky. He loved the view, the little details that seemed to call him to stay with them until sunrise... until the day came again. He could sit like that for hours, regardless of the sleep engulfing him. Geonhak brushed back a lock of hair that fell over his forehead and rested his head against the icy glass. At first, he shuddered at the cold feeling on his temple, but he quickly closed his eyes, savoring the moment. The silence that enveloped him gave him a feeling of relief, no sounds, just a buzzing in his ears blood flow. He opened his almost heavy lead eyelids and saw it. The full moon shining in the silvery light. From the very beginning, he seemed to avoid the sight in front of him, but an unstoppable force made him peek, even for a moment. He gently lifted the corners of his mouth. He wanted to say the sentence but his voice got stuck in his throat. He felt as if he was slowly rising above the sky, overwhelmed by emotions. He felt an irresistible joy at the mere view of a celestial body glistening in the company of stars. He felt everything blur in front of him like a chalk drawing in the rain, and his eyes were caught by a silvery moon. He touched the cold layer of glass and spoke only four words with a broad smile: Long time no see.
Geonhak was sitting on an old, crumbling bench. The smell of fallen leaves on the damp grass surrounded him everywhere. A gentle breeze played a melody on the long, thin willow branches like a harp. The soaring trees flow towards the sky just above the head of the boy who was enchanted by the sight. He admired a small pond in the park where water lilies drifted peacefully. There were sounds of crickets and other insects all around. Geonhak relished the evening landscape. He could sense every possible sound that brought him to a blissful peace. The carefree rustle of the branches and the noisy sounds of the city still bustling with life alternately reached his ears, creating harmony.
At that moment the beautiful peace ended rapidly. He felt as if someone had wrapped him in a suffocating winter coat. Geonhak felt as if his lungs had reduced to the size of a tennis ball, he was out of breath. Internal heat burned his face and radiated his entire body. Something superhuman was gripping his body with every minute. He swallowed instinctively, cold beads of sweat covering his forehead. He placed his stiff hand on the wooden bench and tried to open his eyes, caught in the sudden light.
- Open your eyes- He heard a soft voice in front of him.
Geonhak opened his heavy eyelids, but then, controlled by the glaring bright light, closed them again. He waited a moment, though it seemed to him that the passing seconds became eternal. Gradually he tried to get used to the blinding light. Before him, stood a woman in a white, heavy coat with a big hood. Underneath, she wore a delicate silk dress adorned with the most beautiful stones in the world. Her face was blurry, under the still bright glow. But her hair, curls in a loose bun, subtly covered her cheeks...
At that moment, his memory of that day was lost. As a witchery, he was unable to recall the events after seeing the lady. A void in his memories of that night. He returned to the memories. His mind was showing him the next moments he spent with her. These small conversations until the invisible Eos on her chariot heralded the dawn and the day. Like a night picnic under a sprawling willow tree in a park. Geonhak felt the dream, begun to close his eyelids. However, he wanted to treasure the thoughts further.
They were sitting in the old playground next to the school building. The paint was peeling off the slide. The children's carousel did creak, covered in a thick layer of rust. All around they could hear their footsteps on the rubber surface and the rustle of branches in the wind. It was quite chilly, the wind was getting stronger from time to time, hence Geonhak's thin white sweatshirt did not give enough warmth. The boy funnily chatted his teeth. They looked amusing, swinging on swings too small for them and sliding down a slide that almost collapsed under their weights. Finally, they lay down tired on the ground and stared at the sky covered with tiny stars. Though the azure was the same as always, Geonhak stared at it as if he had seen it for the first time. He was enjoying every detail. Silvery clouds around the constellation of Orion. The Big Dipper sparkled with light.
- Look! The full moon is tonight... it looks so beautiful ...- Geonhak nudged Selene with his shoulder beside him.- oh right, it's obvious since you are here.
The boy reflected, remembering that Selene could only come to his world on a full night. The goddess gently chuckled at the embarrassment of the boy lying next to her.
- Why are you here? You spend your only night of the month with me... You could do something more interesting.- Geonhak replied sadly, tracing his finger across the Andromeda constellation.
-Does it matter?- She said gently, like a soothing rain from heaven,- I have lived here for so many thousand years, I have seen everything here.- Now I just want to spend time with a soul as beautiful as you are my friend.
-Thank you for being here for me- he whispered.
He loved her, but not romantically. He did not fully understand what feelings were tormenting him. He knew that 'loving a goddess' was in itself irrational and naive. She was a goddess, and he was merely a mortal with so little life left compared to her. He had never felt anything more to her than an almost family bond, for him she was like a long-lost sister, whom he found years later. He did love her as a friend, a family. She was closer to him than his family members and for this reason, he felt guilt more than once...
Every thought of this beautiful being made him feel in his heart the melting warmth of joy, and gentle warmness on his shoulders. Perhaps she is here? She was sitting right next to him, and they turned over memories together like the yellowed, old pages of an album of photos. Chaotic, without a scheme, they looked at the memories-photos, sometimes from the first pages, sometimes from the last. At times, they returned from the first meetings just to review the pictures of their first anniversary. Indeed, he deluded the goddess was sitting near him and gently giggling at thinking about the old times. Geonhak felt the unreal warmth of the embrace and tried to make it real. It's just hallucinating. He closed his eyes again.
After a few ballads played by an old music player, he heard a familiar melody. Your song. The day you started singing it emotionally by the sea looking at me. It was such a beautiful evening then, nothing mattered just that moment.
-Selene, here!- Geonhak waved his hand as he saw a figure moving towards him in the distance.
Dressed in long flared trousers and a white T-shirt with a sweater, she headed for the boy sitting on a beach blanket. The sand was unpleasantly falling inside her shoes, but she ran to the place without heeding it. She shook the annoying sand off her shoes and looked at Geonhak questioningly. He stared at her. She was extremely human, her hair gently curled and her skin flushed. Human but still unreal, divine. He had always thought of her as a supernatural, perfect being, but now she was sitting next to him in clothes from a youth store brand and complained about the sand that irritated her. She might as well come in a stunning dress as she used to be and in clothes covered in the most beautiful stones. She waved her delicate hand in front of his eyes, which snapped him out of his thoughts.
- Why are you staring at me like that? She gently twisted her head.
- You look different ... -He cleared his throat, embarrassed.-... I mean more like a human, better? Yes, more human-like. It's a rather poor compliment.
Without furthering the subject, Selene rested her hands on the woven blanket and put her head up with eyes closed. She was breathing the sea breeze and a slight wind blew her hair. She grabbed the sweater and buttoned it. Geonhak noticed that took an extra blanket from his backpack and wrapped it around the goddess. He cared for her like a delicate sparrow feather that would be gone forever in the slightest gust of wind. Or like a little sister who is the apple of his eye. He didn't want any harm to happen to her.
Suddenly she started humming in her angelic voice. Notes swirled around him like golden circles. The auditory imagination began to create beautiful images in front of his eyes. It was a mourning song. There was hope in her voice as if she were praying that history wouldn't happen like this. As if the aftermath could be dealt with. She knew the future, and that burdened her fragile heart. But why did she experience such feelings because of this? Her voice trembled, but she continued singing. He didn't interrupt her, he listened. Her suffering, her story contained in these words. He closed his eyes and relieved every note. Thoughts, images, colors swirled in his head. His mind was filled with music. He enjoyed her singing. Heavy clouds hung over them. As if they were about to sleep on the ground, crushing them with their weight ... Her singing ... Her singing made everything freeze for a moment.
Were we in utopia? Like a film script untouched by time. Selene looked so carefree. All the words of the song sounded so amazing from her lips. The melody of the song followed him into the thoughts. It was so wonderful to him. That made him cherish the one day once again. Her beautiful voice, her emotions. He could repeat the minutes at the beach forever. Staying in the wonderful world. He smiled gently thinking about it. The song came to an end, but the thoughts were still in his head. Memory by memory, in his mind Geonhak recreated their friendship like a full-length movie. He shook his head multiple times trying to get rid of the recalls. And then… Then he felt the final scene was coming. The scene he was the most scared of.
Selene pressed the button on the music player. A waltz sounded from the old device. Geonhak looked at her in surprise and walked towards the radio to turn off the music. The goddess, however, took the young man's hand and placed her hand on his shoulder. Dressed in a long silvery old-style tulle dress, she looked so beautiful tonight. The boy quickly understood the intentions of the woman standing in front of him, put his hand on her waist, and started the waltz. They gently began to take their first steps, assessing each other, and their abilities. With time, the couple began to dance faster and more firmly. The first figures of the dance, Selene, looked Geonhak in the eyes, signaling that he could lead the dance. He took full control of the waltz. He began to take over the place with the goddess. They swirled like two fiery celestial bodies ready to take over the entire universe. They circled like on the same orbits. Selene's dress was gently floating in the wind. Deafened by his emotions, he only looked at her, feeling how much he loved this moment, begged it never to end. He was running out of breath in his lungs but he couldn't make his body stop. Intoxicated with the waltz and extreme emotions, he felt internal that he only wanted this moment. He was happy, so happy. From his eyes burst out a few tears hot as an incandescent flame, he did not want this moment to end so much. He stared at the goddess's face with genuine pain but relief. He knew that she had brought him happiness and a new life. The music died down with time and he hugged her tightly, knowing it was the last time he would see her. He glanced at her delicate features. He put his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes. It lasted for a while, gently rocking them both from side to side.
- You are a better person ... You are a beautiful being, my purpose has been fulfilled. Remember that I love you, but I can't stay with you any longer, these are the rules of my helping mortals.- She whispered in his ear, sobbing softly.
He opened his eyes and saw that there was nothing left in front of him. The goddess disappeared in a sudden fog spread across the sky. the Geonhak watched as the white silvery mist rose until it dissolved against the dark sky.
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The worst feeling is when you know you are losing an important person, but you can't do anything. As if someone was playing the last movie at winter night, in an old, local cinema. In that moment when you start thinking about them. The film of you and that person’s relationship starts, you can't move nor leave this dark room. Trapped in the visions and recalls. You just watch the moments of the relationship as memories that casually enter your mind in disarray. With each subsequent scene, you are not able to speak, you just try to hold back tears for nothing. You see how other people you met in your life sit at the cinema with you, how they take part in the recalls too. They look at you full of ignorance, they have no idea how much that person meant to someone like you. They came to watch a movie, they see you as a movie character. the people do not look for a deeper meaning of the grief you feel watching the scenes of you and that person. You feel pain and tears on your cheeks ... up to the end credits. Until the faces and messages disappear from the screen and a void appears. Do you feel the pain? The invisible force allows you to get up from the chair as the lamps light up. As if nothing happened you leave the cinema room. It was just a movie, wasn't it? That person is still next by my side, right? It was just a film of us laughing. I will meet them tomorrow. You keep denying what happened. You exit the sentimental place. And in that second you leave the thoughts of the beautiful person. You come back to reality. Nostalgia.
Hot tears ran down his cheek. It felt as if his time in the cinema room had just ended. The beautiful movie of him and Selene came to the end. He felt like his spirit exited the film theater of memories. Beautiful moments with her combined in a video of recalls. Film of the Selene. But his soul was healed, devoid of any remnants of negative emotions. He felt no despair or anger. But even so, he felt the unbearable weight begin to pour over his chest, making him sob even more. Behind this apparent mask of tears, he was happy. He sobbed with the wonderful feeling of peace. Thank you, he thought, as quietly as possible as if someone were going to hear that one word and mock it. He appreciated her for coming. At least for a tiny moment, she visited his life and changed him forever. He felt so worthless, empty, and she came to him and showed Geonhak how beautiful he is. She supported him to love his own life. She came for this brief moment, like flower dust in the wind, to him. To him. Out of millions of people, she appeared to Geonhak like the last lifeboat before he sank completely. He loved her, he was so incredibly grateful to her. For all. For those evenings when they talked about little things together. For the smile she gave him, making him forget about reality for a moment. He wanted to kiss her hand and show her how much she meant to him. And in this gentle kiss, curse all words of gratitude. For those moments when he felt weak and she showed him his worth. But staying by his side when the moment of weakness came, when for the hundredth time she said how important she was in the world and he did not listen. She was so patient with him. He didn't deserve her. Deep down he felt that he did not deserve her, although she’d shouted at him for such thinking. She was too perfect for him. Patient, loving, supportive, and he is a completely worthless man. Then he laughed softly. He knew she would probably say at this point that they were worthless, nothing and that's what made them worthy, perfect for each other. Was she really just a dream? Dream of the Moon Goddess. He very much did not want it to be true, he cherished her presence. He did not want such a perfect spirit to be just his imagination. He wiped a warm tear running down his chin with his sleeve before it fell onto his collar. He stared at the moon as beautiful as Selene.
-You helped me gratuitously. I didn't even have time to thank you ... -Geonhak paused for a moment.- You vanished in this short smoke as I could hug you one last time. But that's okay, thank you. Hope you know how grateful I am.
He felt unusually hot over his body. He smiled heartily, trying to convince himself that it was Selene's presence, not a sudden wave of heat. He sat there laughing and smiling at the window. He would be considered a madman with extreme emotions, but his heart simply rejoiced. He was slowly falling asleep feeling the warmth of her arms on his shoulders. His heavy eyelids were completely closed. And the first scenes of dreams began to appear in his head.
- I'm proud of you, Selene whispered softly, crying and patting the head of the sleeping Geonhak.- I truly am...