Chapter Text
Lan Wangji learned patience from a young age, he mastered this art before he walked his first steps but decades of practice still didn’t give him enough strength to face this challenge.
Wei Wuxian was gone, even in a world made of the undead and the undying Wei Ying had once again managed the impossible, not only did he die but he and his body disappeared off the face of the earth. Lan Wangji didn’t know what to do when he drank himself half-dead and even years later he is still stumbling in the dark for an answer to an impossible request. The song of inquiry is a drug on his fingertips as he searches fruitlessly for different result.
It never changes.
So he cultivates and trains and adventures hoping that each step he walks is another closer to Wei Ying.
Sitting on the hard floor of an inn, Guqin in hand, Lan Wangji plays a sorrowful tune while the night around him winds down. It fills him with longing like every other night but it’s become a habit and a reminder that he isn’t ever willing to break. For every time that he forces himself to forget his own past is another small part of Wei Ying lost from this world, and that hurts far worse than the pain of longing.
Looking to his side for a second Lan Wangji contemplates whether or not to run a bath tonight, he still has at least a two days of journeying before he returns to Gusu Lan and he’s not sure about the conditions of his sleeping arrangements during that time so it would be wise to freshen up while he still can. Cleanliness is something of a Gusu Lan brand after all.
After letting the last note hang in the air for longer than necessary, Lan Wangji gets up. His Quxin is carefully wrapped and put away, he stares at his own instrument almost enviously wishing that his own feelings could be sealed up and hidden even for just a moment.
He feels cold, a bath does sound nice.
With a decision made and heads to the front desk to put in a request for hot water.
The night is still young for people that aren’t Lan Wangji, so the bodies that should be filling up the inn in a few hours are still riotously dancing and laughing in the streets. Lan Wangji is content to bathe in the silence of halls of the inn juxtaposing the chaos outside, it feels familiar.
Before the familiarity can cause his heart to ache, Lan Wangji makes it down the hall and into the reception area. A bored clerk idles behind the check-in, one hand cradling a face that looks seconds from passing out. What surprises Lan Wangji is not the blatant and open unprofessionalism (although it does annoy him slightly) but rather there seems to be another person occupying a wooden bench that lines the walls of the reception.
Lan Wangji ignores the strange man at first, sitting still enough to almost imitate a statue, and asks the clerk to bring some hot water to his room. He yawns into his hands but writes it down and leaves promptly to sort out the request (at least he’s diligent, Lan Wangji thinks silently).
When Lan Wangji turns around he almost trips on his robes as his eyes catch onto the red ribbon that has tied this stranger’s hair into a ponytail. Wei Weuxian’s face flashes through Lan Wangji’s mind faster than he can put up a defence but he forces himself to calm down. After all, a red ribbon isn’t all that uncommon. But this man just feels different, enough that it makes Lan Wangji take another step closer, to the complete unawareness of this unusual stranger.
With a couple more steps, Lan Wangji was able to determine that yes, this man was alive, although asleep, through the movement of his shoulders as he breathes. After another step, Lan Wangji is able to discern the colour of his hair and the lines of this man’s shoulder and it freezes him in place. Everything about this individual screams Wei Ying, without even seeing his face Lan Wangji is certain.
He doesn’t know what to do.
Before he can make a decision the attendant comes back and beckons him over to the desk. The call to him is amplified by the previous silence of the space. The man in front of him jerks awake.
Every little movement brings back another memory, how could he have even second guessed his identity. Staring at his back is a familiar sight, every rejection and divergence of their paths ends up with Lan Wangji staring at this silhouette as it walks further into the darkness and further away from him. The ache reminds him so much of those moments that he almost buckles where he stands.
Wei Wuxian spins around to find the source of the noise and even though Lan Wangji knew, he still wasn’t prepared to see him again, not so suddenly at least. His eyes are bright, like how they were before the war, the torment, and the loss. They search around for a bit before landing on Lan Wangji. His stare holds no recognition.
Lan Wangji feels his shattered heart break a little more.
His eyes are innocent and open like the first time they met on top the roof at Gusu Lan but the mischief and intrigue are gone. He sees emptiness behind the eyes as if the book that might have once contained Wei Ying’s life has had its pages ripped out leaving a cover but nothing else.
Lan Wangji keeps a steady gaze at the man in front of him, a stranger in all ways but appearance. Wei Wuxian reciprocates the look, his own gaze sweeping across Lan Wangji’s body, curious and exploring. After a beat, his eyes shoot back up to Lan Wangji’s face and a smile finally appears on the other man’s face. A little piece of Lan Wangji’s heart slides back in place but it is nowhere near complete.
“Hanguan Jun.”
Lan Wangji is caught off guard, his already limited verbal skills diminish even further, “Mn.”
That name feels wrong coming from that voice, it strips his being down its bare elements that makes his identity feel as cold and unwelcoming as his facade. Wei Ying should never call him by that, even when they were on opposite sides of the battle, it was still “Lan Zhan” why does it have to change now.
His non-response is taken as confusion, the past Wei Ying wouldn't have made that mistake, “You’re wondering how I know you?” He inquires, “Don’t worry, I’ve been hearing a lot about you from the locals, you are quite popular hm? Especially with the ladies.”
The last part is said with a slight smirk and Lan Wangji’s ears tint red far too easily for a stupid quip like that.
Lan Wangji acquiesces that Wei Ying sees him as no more than a stranger and goes to ask a question that he never thought he’d have to ask the man standing in front of him, “And your name?”
“Wei Wuxian, at your service,” he replies cheekily, this feels familiar.
Oh. And hope bubbles up within him once again, light and fleeting but present.
Before Lan Wangji can continue the man at the counter calls for him, “Sir, the water that has been prepared will go cold if it is left any longer. I suggest you head to your room soon.”
Lan Wangji tilts his head in acknowledgement but finds it difficult to move away from Wei Ying. After another bated breath, Lan Wangji breaks his gaze away from the man in front of him but still doesn’t make any attempt to leave. He can’t turn away from him again.
“You can go, I’ve taken more of your time than I deserve.” Wei Wuxian says, gently.
“And you?” he asks in an attempt to keep this conversation from ending.
His smile tightens into a grimace, “I’ll find a place… here or there.”
“I can get you a room.”
Wei Wuxian takes a step back, hands waving in front of him, “I couldn’t possibly ask that of you, you barely know me.”
But I do Lan Wangji wants to say. He bites down that response and pulls out the coin pouch to give to the man behind the desk. The man, happy enough to make more money, ignores the hurried cries of the red-clad individual behind Lan Wangji and deposits the coins behind the desk. Wei Wuxian hurries to his side, frantically calling back the man but he’s a step too late and the receptionist has already left to prepare the room.
“I don’t have enough to pay you back,” Wei Wuxian says apologetically.
Lan Wangji waves his hand, “You don’t need to.”
The attendant comes out and starts to lead Wei Wuxian away, Lan Wangji takes this as his cue to head back to his room on the opposite side of the building. Everything within him is screaming to stay close to Wei Ying, to keep him in his sight lest he loses him again. He keeps walking slow, measured steps and tramples down the empty feeling of loss the further away he gets.
What is he doing? He should say something, anything to bring Wei Ying back even if the one he met today isn’t the one that left him those years ago, he’s still Wei Ying, bright, energetic, and so beautiful.
He spins around right when his name is called out from behind him, “Hanguan Jun!”
His heart lurches in hope, pain, and longing and his traitorous eyes still search for any recognition in the pair before him, “Yes?”
“This isn’t over,” He all but shouts across the empty lobby, “I will pay you back.”
With a smile that lights up the room and Lan Wangji’s heart, Wei Wuxian gives him a wave and spins around to catch up with the attendant that has already made it to his room.
Through all the broken and impossible promises that Wei Ying had made with him in the past, this one feels like something that is attainable. He goes to sleep that night holding onto that delicate strand of hope.