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Techno stares down at the test in his hands, and he does his best to blink the tears out of his eyes.
It's not that bad, he tries to rationalize, but the red, red 65% glares up at him from the paper.
The bell rings, and he stuffs the test into one of the folders in his backpack. He has to put it out of his mind as he rushes to his next class.
The thought sticks with him through the rest of the day and through the entire long walk home, a low-level hum in the back of his head that won’t leave him alone. He doesn’t even have Wilbur’s usual company to keep his mind off of it - his brother’s off hanging out with his friends.
Objectively speaking, a D on a test isn't the end of the world. One day, high school will be nothing but a distant memory. The annuls of history are not going to care about one student's shitty grade. The sun is going to explode in a hundred billion years, and humanity probably won't have even survived to see it happen.
That doesn't make Techno feel any better about it.
A D isn't a failure. Objectively speaking. It's only one letter grade off from one, though, and for Techno, who's gotten all As in every class he's ever taken since elementary school, a 65% might as well be a 0%.
"Hello! How was school?" Phil calls from the living room as Techno pushes the front door open.
"Fine," Techno calls back, and he hates the way his voice shakes. Quickly, hastily, so that he doesn't have to face his father, he darts upstairs, dumping his backpack on his bedroom floor and collapsing on his bed.
He doesn't know why this is bothering him so much. It's just a bad grade. People get those all the time. Techno is no different.
(Only, he's been told his whole life that he is different. He's been told over and over that he's smarter than the other kids around him, in the gifted programs in elementary and middle school and the advanced classes that he's taking a year ahead of schedule.)
It's fine, though. It's fine. It's not like the test is going to affect his future career or anything like that - it's a calculus grade, for god's sake. He's planning on being an English major, or maybe a psychology major, which are both the direct opposite of math.
He's just spiraling. Hell, the test probably hasn't even affected his overall grade in the class.
...Has the test affected his overall grade in the class? He hasn't checked, actually.
With a shaky hand, Techno pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket, unlocking it and opening the app his school uses to let students monitor their own grades.
It takes him a couple tries to get to the right tab, but eventually, he's scrolling down past English 12AP and AP Physics, letting his eyes fall onto his BC Calculus grade.
83%.
Techno lets out a shaky, shaky sigh, his vision tunneling in on that number on his screen.
Shit.
He - he should've fucking listened to his gut intuition, the part of him that yelled that that test grade was going to be something bad . He should've fucking known.
Techno shuts his phone off and flings it off to the side a bit more aggressively than he really needs to, dramatically burying his face in his pillow.
He's already frantically running through ways to fix it in his head. There's a couple weeks until the quarter is over. He still has time. Surely, there'll be another test or quiz or something that will offer him a chance to bring it back.
Although, deep down in his gut, a part of him whispers that it's already too late. He's fucked up. It doesn't matter if he manages to scrape an A for the quarter; the fact that he'd let it get this bad in the first place was a bad omen. From where he is now, it's a very easy, slippery slope down to failing another test, and then failing his classes, and then being unable to go to college at all.
Techno's arms come up to hug his pillow tightly, and he shoves his face further into it, squeezing the living daylights out of it as if he can bury his tears in the fabric.
No matter how hard he tries, though, he can't stop the part of his mind that whispers to him that he should've been something special. He's meant to be smart. He's the kid who's good at school, who's supposed to get all As without trying, who could easily go for valedictorian.
Where the fuck did it go wrong? Was it when Techno had a bad day and phoned it in? Was it when he couldn't get out of bed and faked being sick?
(Whatever it was, whenever it was, his brain says, it was your fault.)
He sniffs and - eugh, gross, now he's just going to be getting snot on his pillow. Yet another thing to add to the list of fucking failures.
There's a knock on his bedroom door. Techno stiffens in surprise.
Not now, he thinks, and he prays that the person on the other side will leave.
Instead, because Techno can't have one nice thing, they call his name.
"Techno?" It's Phil.
Techno scrubs the tears from his face the best he can. "Yeah?" His voice is weak and shaky, just like the rest of him.
His bedroom door cracks open. Techno studiously stares at the wall opposite the door; he's not going to let Phil see him like this.
"I was wondering what you want for dinner."
"I don't care," he responds.
There's a pause. Techno stares at the stack of books next to his bed that he's never gotten round to reading, willing the tears out of his eyes.
"You okay?" Damn Phil's intuition. Damn Techno's sensitivity.
"Fine."
Another pause.
"If you want to talk, I'm always here to listen," Phil says, gently.
Techno shrugs; it's far less effective than he'd imagined, considering how he's laying down. He takes a shuddering breath, in and out, and then he rolls over, turning to see his dad leaning against the doorway.
"I uh, failed a test today," he admits, and shame bubbles up inside of him just from saying those words. "Or, well, not today, but I got the results back today, and... yeah."
Phil winces sympathetically. "I'm sorry, mate. That sucks."
Techno blinks. He wasn't expecting Phil to be upset, per se, but he doesn't think he was expecting blanket acceptance, either.
"You're not mad?" he asks, just to make sure.
"Why would I be?" His dad just sounds confused, now, and oh, Techno hates the grave he's dug for himself with his own stupidity.
He shrugs again.
"I don't know. Cos I failed?"
"Techno," Phil sighs, and then he's picking his way into Techno's room and perching on the side of his bed. "I'm not gonna be mad at you for getting a bad grade."
Techno thinks he's going to cry all over again, just from hearing that. (He does, just a little.)
"I've just been having trouble with school," he admits, the words leaden. From there, it's so, so much easier to talk. "I feel like I can't focus on anything, and it's either really boring or really confusing with no in-between, and I'm just... stupid, I don't know."
Phil frowns. "You're not stupid, Techno. Don't say that."
"It's true, though! I have the grades to prove it."
Phil's hand finds his shoulder, warm and comforting. "You're *not* stupid." His voice is firm, leaving no room for argument. "You're just having a rough time right now. Besides, grades don't equal intelligence. There's so many different ways to be smart."
"I don't know." Subconsciously, Techno leans into his dad's touch. Even though he probably won't admit it out loud, just hearing that has already made him feel quite a bit better. Although... "I just - I just don't want to risk not getting into college or anything."
Phil laughs. It's not mean-spirited; quite the opposite, in fact. "Techno, I got all Bs and Cs throughout high school, and I got into college fine. You don't need to be the absolute best to do that. Perfect grades aren’t that big of a deal."
Techno huffs out a sigh. "I... I don't know," he says again, after a moment. "I just - you're right. But it's still upsetting? I don't know."
"That's okay." Phil reaches up to ruffle his hair, and Techno scowls good-naturedly at him. "You're allowed to be upset over something like this. How about next time you have a problem with that class, you ask me for help and we can work it through?"
"Yeah. That's... yeah." Techno sniffs, and now he can feel the weight of the sort of weariness that only comes after a good cry.
Phil smiles. "Alright, then. What do you want for dinner?"
(They end up having pizza, at Techno's request.)