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“And therefore, you are to carry out a life sentence in Azkaban.”
Narcissa inhaled a deep breath through her nose. On the outside she kept her chin high and her face blank. On the inside she was being torn apart by her emotions. She wasn’t sure if she should feel angry or relieved or shattered or maybe just glad that she wasn’t facing the same punishment as her husband.
She and Draco had been cleared of all charges earlier that day, thanks to Harry Potter’s statement.
Lucius was led out of the courtroom. He didn’t complain, he didn’t say anything at all. He only gave one last meaningful glance to her and Draco before being taken away by the aurors. As soon as they were gone, the people in the stands rose to their feet and left the room, most of them in high spirits. All of them were glad to see the deatheaters get the punishment that they deserved.
Narcissa looked to her right, at her beautiful and strong son. The image of him accepting the mark flashed in front of her eyes. Once again, she thought, she should have left with him before it had been too late. She should have done more to protect him. She shouldn’t have let her husband talk her out of it over and over again.
Draco seemed to sense her gaze on him and turned around, a question in his eyes. Or maybe just confused emotions.
“Let’s go home, Draco.”
Draco just nodded and stood up, leading the way.
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The next morning Narcissa woke up early. A wave of sadness came over her when she found the other half of her bed empty. It was gone as quickly as it came. Sure, life without Lucius by her side would take some getting used to and she would miss him every now and then, but then again it was probably better this way.
Narcissa got up and picked her favourite robe from her closet. She hadn’t worn it in years. Decades, really. Not since she had fallen out with Andromeda. It was colourful and her sister had given it to her on her 19th birthday. She would have to perform some spells on it to make it fit properly.
When she saw herself in the mirror, she smiled. And then she smiled a little brighter, because she hadn’t seen herself smile properly for the last four years. It looked good on her. After giving it some thought, she didn’t do anything with her hair. Nor did she put on makeup. But she did add a little bit of jewellery. Tiny, clear crystals were now dangling from her ears.
Yes, she would miss her husband. But without him she had the chance to do something that she wouldn’t be able to do with him. Start from new. She had been giving a second chance to prove herself and she would not waste it.
And she would start today.
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Draco didn’t say a word during breakfast. He hadn’t said a word ever since his own trial. Narcissa missed talking to him. She had the strong feeling that she didn’t know her son at all. That he had been hiding his true self for a very long time in order to please Lucius. Maybe he hadn’t even found his true self yet and was now lost because he didn’t know what to do with his life anymore?
She was determined to be a better mother from now on. To support and encourage her son in finding himself.
And she also wanted to be a better sister.
“Draco, my dear?”
He raised his head and immediately straightened his posture. It pained her to see it. “Yes, mother.”
His voice was dry, as if it hadn’t been used at all for the past day.
She smiled at Draco. “Do you have any plans for today?”
“No, mother.”
Narcissa cringed a little. She now saw it more than ever, that she hadn’t done a very good job at raising Draco. It sounded more like he was addressing his boss, not his mother. For a moment she considered bringing it up, but then she decided it wasn’t time for that, yet.
“I’ve been thinking about visiting my sister. I owe her an apology. Actually, I owe her a lot more than that, but we have to start somewhere, right?”
She laughed but then stopped immediately. It sounded awkward. Draco looked at her weirdly. She couldn’t read his gaze and it made her want to curse herself.
“If I went to visit her today, would you like to come with me? She’s your aunt and you have a right to get to know her.”
Draco stayed silent.
“Listen, Draco. I have made a lot of mistakes. I would do anything to be able to right my wrongs. I did you wrong.”
“What? Why would you say that? You have never done anything to me, mother?”
Narcissa smiled sadly. “But I haven’t done enough for you, my dear. I wasn’t your maman.”
Draco, once again, said nothing. It seemed like he didn’t know what to say.
“If you let me, I would like to be your maman from now on, instead of just your mother.”
He still didn’t reply. His gaze was fixed upon his mostly untouched plate.
“You have all the time in the world. I’m going to apparate to Andromeda’s house in an hour. You can come with me if you want, but you really don’t have to.”
Draco looked lost. After some hesitation, he set down his cutlery in the perfect angle on his plate.
“May I be excused to my room?”
Narcissa’s heart was bleeding. “Of course, my dear.”
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During the next hour, she made the dishes and sat down at her desk afterwards. There was a lot of work to be done with Lucius’ belongings, but she decided that would have to wait for another day. Right now, it was more important to figure out what she would say to Andromeda. Over the years, she had gone through a million different scenarios in her mind and all of them had ended with Andromeda throwing hexes at her. If possible, Narcissa wanted to avoid that.
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Narcissa was practically beaming when she saw Draco come down their front steps. He gave her an uncertain smile. “I’ve always wondered, what aunt Andromeda is like.”
They linked arms and spun and were instantly pulled off their feet. A few moments later, they were standing in front of a large, green property that was entirely open to all sides. No fences, no walls. The only two buildings were a cute house, painted in baby blue, and a wooden shed that was large enough to hold one of those Muggle vehicles. They probably owned one, considering that Ted was a muggleborn. Used to be a muggleborn. Guilt pulled at her heart, but she ignored it. Instead, she looked at her son, who was as tall as she was right now. She was wearing heels.
“Come on, let’s do this.”
They walked towards the front door.
“There’s no door knocker,” Narcissa stated with a crease between her brows.
“The house isn’t very large. Maybe she will hear it if we knock with our hands.”
Narcissa looked at her son with pride. “You are such a clever boy.”
Draco avoided her gaze, but a smile seemed to be tugging at the corner of his lips.
She rapped her knuckles against the painted wood, as strongly as she dared to, and waited with a beating heart. It took quite long until something could be heard on the other side of the door. Maybe Andromeda was busy. Or maybe she wasn’t even at home. She was alone now, after all.
But eventually someone opened.
A lump appeared in her throat as Narcissa recognised her sister. She had changed over the years. The shadows under her eyes were dark. But the one thing Narcissa had expected the least, was the blue-haired baby in her arms.
“I’m sorry, little Teddy here is really-“
She stopped talking mid-sentence. And she was looking straight into Narcissa’s eyes now.
They stared at each other. It felt like time was standing still but not in a good way. The tension was high and something needed to happen to break it. Neither of the sisters knew what to say. Both of them went through a mess of emotions, but neither of them were able to put their feelings into words.
Good thing Narcissa had brought her son.
“We’re sorry to disturb you like this, Mrs Tonks. I’m Draco, your nephew. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Narcissa was surprised to still be able to read her sister’s face after so many years. She seemed angry and confused, but mostly she was shocked and surprised. That’s probably why she didn’t hex her into next week, but instead turned to Draco.
“Draco. I didn’t expect I’d ever get to know you. I- Narcissa what are you doing here?”
Narcissa took a deep breath. She knew she had to be careful with her words. She had to tell the truth, of course, but she had to choose the right way of doing so.
“I came to apologise. I wanted to play safe and ended up hurting and losing you. I deeply regret my past choices and want to do better from now on. I am very sorry.”
Andromeda waited and then raised an eyebrow. “So? Was that all?”
Narcissa cleared her throat and took another moment to focus on what she wanted to say. If she screwed up, this might be the last time she would ever talk to her.
“I know I have no right to ask anything from you, but I would like to get a second chance at being a good sister to you. And it was important to me, to finally introduce you and Draco. I might not deserve a second chance from you. But my son does. His mistakes are all to blame on me and my husband.”
“You were part of something that caused the deaths of my husband, my child and my son in law. And I am not ready to forgive you for that and I will never be able to forget that.”
“I understand and I will not ask that from you.”
The sisters kept looking into each other’s eyes. Then Andromeda stepped away from the door.
“Come in, I wouldn’t mind some company.”