Archive of Our Own

Remus was hesitant to knock at the door. He knew how he himself just needed time to be alone every once in a while. But it was just so out of character for Sirius. All the Marauders were united at the Potters’ for the Christmas holidays. Sirius was the one who would be causing action, not avoiding it.

Remus gave himself a final shove. If something was up with Sirius he needed to know. He needed to try to make them feel better.

He knocked. No reply.

Sirius was lying on their bed. Their eyes were closed, tears slowly running down across their temples and cheekbones, entirely lost in the music. It was filling up their ears and their heart and their whole soul. They took a deep breath. This felt so good. Sirius had really needed that.

Suddenly another sound managed to reach their ears. Fuck, someone came to check on them. Immediately they sat up, dried their tears and pulled off their headphones, Sam Smith’s voice fading into background noise. In front of them was standing the one and only Remus Lupin. Sirius cleared their throat.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Remus’ forehead was disturbed by creases of concern.
“Are you alright? Why were you crying?”

Sirius raked a hand through their long hair and shrugged.
“I’m fine. Just feels good to cry to sad music every once in a while.”

Remus made a face that clearly said, ‘that’s fair’, and sat down on the bed next to Sirius.
“What were you listening to?”

Sirius smiled brightly.
“I just found out that Sam Smith dropped a new album a couple of months ago. Way overdue that I finally listened to it! It’s absolutely amazing, they’ve really outdone themself this time!”

Sirius looked Remus in the eyes – those wonderful amber eyes – and found an expression there that made their heart skip a beat. Ever since he had come out to the Marauders as bi, Sirius had really gotten their hopes up that Remus might feel the same for them as they were feeling for him.

Remus’ lips were morphing into a soft smile, causing a flutter in Sirius’ stomach. “Do you have a favourite song already?”

Sirius grinned. “Absolutely. Here.”

Remus felt excitement bubble through his veins when Sirius leaned closer to put their headphones on him. Their fingertips left a tingling sensation in the spots where they had grazed his face. Sirius did something on their phone and a second later a song started playing. The volume was so high that the music was everything that his brain could process. Explained why Sirius hadn’t heard him knocking.

It was a beautiful song. Remus’ gaze was fixed upon Sirius. Usually, he would have the urge to look away, in order not to give away his feelings but now he just… couldn’t. The song was about longing and Remus’ throat closed up with how much he could relate. And suddenly all the longing he had for Sirius multiplied by a hundred. His heart was aching and everything in his body was desperate to just be closer to Sirius.

As if it was tired of being under Remus’ control, his hand reached out and grasped theirs.

Sirius looked down, just to check if this was really happening. It was. Remus was holding their hand. His long fingers were a little cold against Sirius’ skin, but the touch made him warm up, starting from his chest.

When Sirius looked back up, he found Remus staring at them, a blush on his cheeks and his head slightly tilted. A smile spread across their lips. They were absolutely done longing and waiting.

Gently they placed their free hand on the back of Remus neck and pulled him closer.
Apparently, something in Remus entirely snapped because he suddenly surged forward and kissed them like it was the last thing he would ever do.

And they kissed. And kissed. And neither of them wanted the moment to end.

Remus was confused when Sirius abruptly broke the kiss. He took off the headphones and followed the smirk that Sirius was throwing at someone standing in the doorway.

It was Peter. He looked in between the two of them with raised eyebrows.
“I figured I would interrupt something, but James insisted I come up here. He is bored out of his mind.”

“Tell James we’ll be down in a minute.”
Peter looked Sirius in their eyes disbelievingly. They were still smirking shamelessly.

“I’ll tell him you two will be down in ten.” He pulled out his phone and swished across the screen a few times. Then he left it on Sirius’ desk next to the door. “About time you two got your shit together.”

With a smile he left the two of them alone again.

Remus and Sirius locked eyes. “Did he just set us a timer for exactly ten minutes?”

Sirius broke out into laughter and nodded. Remus started laughing as well. He was on an incredible high and he never wanted to come down again.

After their giggles had faded Remus looked at Sirius fondly and put a strand of hair behind their ear.
“Am I your boyfriend now?”

Sirius mirrored his expression. “I sure hope so.”

Remus smiled. “Good. And will you do your boyfriend a favour and kiss him again?”

“It would be my absolute pleasure.”