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Adora’s heart has been in her throat all day; she doesn’t know what to say or do when she sees Catra again. It’s only been a few weeks since that final argument, though it feels like even longer with how the days have dragged on without spending hours talking to her. And it’s not like Catra’s going to come tonight—why would she?—so Adora has no idea why her heart pounds doubletime in her chest every time the bell rings and she’s sent to open the front door.
And though Adora knows not to expect anything, her heart still sinks each time she finds someone that is decidedly not her best friend on the doorstep. The house is full now, with so many friends and relatives, and Adora should be happy, and she is happy, but... Catra.
The doorbell rings again, and Adora heaves a sigh as she goes to answer it. She doesn’t even care anymore at this point: it’s past 8pm, and if Catra were coming, she’d be here by now. It’s probably just Glimmer (who had ducked out with Bow on a beer run) or maybe Perfuma (who said she’d only just gotten around to putting her special brownies in the oven), or maybe even Sea Hawk, who had disappeared without any explanation other than that “adventure was calling”.
But when she opens the door, a polite smile pasted on her face, Adora freezes, because—
“Hey, Adora,” Catra says. She’s smiling, long and crooked, and Adora’s heart stops and stutters to a start in time to her squeaky, familiar laugh.
“Catra, I…”
Her best friend is still smiling at her like nothing’s happened, her eyes shining as she looks Adora up and down and back up again. “Been a while, hasn’t it?”
Adora’s eyes are still glued to her hair, cut boyishly short, and she only manages to force herself to nod when Catra snaps her fingers in her face to get her attention. “You look...really good,” she says, and—she does. She looks...more confident somehow; whether it’s the haircut or the bodysuit she’s wearing, Adora can’t quite tell, all she knows is that, “You’re wearing my jacket.”
Catra looks down at herself, eyes wide, cheeks pink, and Adora all but melts. “I—no? This is mine, you weren’t even here, oh my god Adora, can you let me in? It’s freezing! Quit it!”
Despite the chill of the evening, Catra’s hands are warm as she scrabbles at Adora’s arms, trying half-heartedly to get out of the headlock Adora’s put her in. Adora ruffles her hair (it’s so short ) and laughs as Catra halfheartedly tries to wriggle out of her grip, and she’s so warm like this, so familiar—even after four years, she somehow even smells the same. “I missed you,” she mumbles, and it must be a mistake, because Catra stiffens and abruptly shoves away.
“Yeah, well. Maybe if you didn’t leave , you wouldn’t have had to miss me.” Before Adora can even figure out what to say to that, Catra shoves past her and inside, smoothing her hair without looking back. She’s immediately swarmed by their friends and pulled into a card game by Adam, and Adora wants to go after her, to talk this through, to fix this, but if she still knows Catra (and god, she hopes she does), Adora knows that trying to force her to talk will only push her away further.
So the evening goes like this: Adora following Catra with her eyes and hovering around the edges of her vision, Catra glancing up periodically and finding her all too easily, their gazes meeting over dinner countless times. And then—
Catra throws Adora a look and gets up. Adora watches as she tosses her plate in the garbage and then grabs two cans of beer from the cooler before slipping outside. Only then does she realize what the look had been for, and once everyone is engrossed in the story Glimmer has begun to tell, Adora follows Catra’s lead, slipping outside unnoticed. Catra’s leaning against the balcony, both beer cans dangling from her hands, and she hands one to Adora without even looking, a silent truce.
And there is so much that Adora could say here. There is so much that she wants to say that she can’t come up with anything at all; all she can do is stare out at the backyard and drink her beer in silence as her heart pounds in her throat.
“I’m sorry,” Catra says then, sudden and quiet. Adora glances over at her in surprise; in all the years she’s known her, Catra has never, ever apologized, not for anything. She’s never had any reason too, really; they had a silent understanding that they could never really hurt each other. Not as long as they were together. So this…
“I’m sorry for lashing out at you today,” Catra continues, still glaring at the ground. “Not for anything else. I wanted today to be good, but...you left . You left , Adora. You promised it’d be just us and then you left me.”
Again comes a wave of guilt and Adora turns fully towards her friend, reaching out to grab her free hand and hold it tight. “I didn’t leave because...because of you. I never wanted to leave you, you know that. It was just too good of an opportunity to pass up, and—I don’t regret it. I just wish that you could’ve come with me. You’d love Paris, Cat. I thought of you every day, you know. It’s dumb, but I even made a list of everywhere I want to show you.”
This time, it’s Catra that looks up in surprise. She searches Adora’s face for a long few minutes, and she must find what she’s looking for, because she smiles, a bit hesitant and so very fond. “It’s not dumb.”
“I mean—it’s not even anything special. Just restaurants and shops that you’d like. Little hole in the wall places, not the tourist traps. I—I got you some stuff too.”
“You...you really missed me?”
“ Yes, ” Adora says immediately, “I did. I wanted to call you more, but...the time zones, and the wifi—you wouldn’t believe how spotty it was. But I called you every time I could, and it wasn’t ever enough. I missed being with you.”
Catra’s eyes widen and she leans away from Adora, shaking her head hard as if to clear her head from her thoughts. “ Please don’t say that.”
“What? Why?”
Catra takes a long gulp of her beer and then stares hard at Adora, searching her face again. Carefully, she balances the beer on the balcony, and faces Adora, wringing her own hands. “You’re so dumb, you know that?”
And before Adora can retaliate, Catra surges in and kisses her hard, one hand curling around the back of her neck, the other cupping her cheek. It’s so sudden that Adora’s heart full on stops, but as Catra tenses and begins to pull away, Adora reaches out to keep her close, holding on as tight as she can. Like if she lets go, Catra will disappear forever. It’s a messy first kiss, but it is theirs and the taste of Catra’s chapstick on Adora’s lips makes her legs feel weak.
When she finally pulls away, Catra glares at a point just behind Adora’s shoulder as she mutters, “I was in love with you, and you left me.”
And oh, because…
“Cat...I was the one that—I didn’t realize until I left how much you meant to me. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out—” (“Because you’re dumb,” Catra immediately interjects,) “but it’s you, it’s always been you. I realized it on the first birthday I spent over there, when you called me. It must’ve been 3am, but you wanted to be the first, and...your voice was still rough from sleep, and you barely even managed to say happy birthday before you fell asleep again, and I knew. I knew that I was in love with you. It was the best and worst birthday ever.”
Catra grimaces at the memory; after a heavy sigh, she says, “I...kind of always knew. How I felt. It was impossible not to like you, even from the beginning. I thought I’d get over it, that it was just a dumb crush, but I didn’t. And then you left, and I still loved you, and now you’re here, and...yeah.”
Seeing her curled up in herself in hesitation makes Adora step forward, a memory on the tip of her tongue. “Do you remember,” she starts, “after prom, when we ditched everyone else and went to the beach? It was near midnight, so we grabbed some fast food and just...sat on the sand together and watched the ocean. You gave me your suit jacket even though we had a blanket in the car, and we shared our food and promised that...that it’d be just us.”
Catra nods, a question in her eyes.
“I wanted to kiss you then,” Adora admits, “I didn’t know why, but I wanted to.”
“You could’ve,” Catra breathes, “I would’ve let you.”
“I didn’t know that then...I was too scared to lose you. I thought you’d hate me.”
“Kiss me now then,” Catra asks pleads begs, “I—please, Adora.”
And even though she’s the one that asked, she still makes a quiet noise of shock when Adora steps into her space again and kisses her, lazy and slow. Adora feels like she could melt into this moment, melt into Catra and be happy forever, but Catra shivers and all at once, Adora remembers that it’s actually cold out.
“Let’s go inside,” she says between quick kisses, “to my room. Just us.”
Catra makes a quiet noise against her lips that makes Adora’s knees buckle, and finally, she pulls away, reluctance clear on her face. She grabs first her half-finished beer and then Adora’s hand, dragging her back inside and up the stairs before anyone can stop them, and speeds to Adora’s room before closing and locking the door behind them.
The click of the lock makes Adora’s throat dry up, and there is a question on her lips that she can’t quite manage to get out. But Catra is full of intent now as she leads Adora to her bed, to the bed that is just as much Catra’s own as it is Adora’s. More memories spring up unbidden: countless nights spent curled up together under the blankets as children, watching movies sprawled out over each other on Adora’s new laptop, Catra setting up the projector and then hopping easily into Adora’s arms. Studying together, Adora reading a book while Catra napped next to her, Catra’s hand running through Adora’s hair as she cried over a bad test grade, Catra coming into her room with an expectant expression and Adora shifting over so she could get straight into bed without a word.
And now, Catra straddling her lap, expression almost unreadable, her arms looped around Adora’s neck. Adora reaches out, eyes on Catra to watch her expression when she grips first her thighs, then her hips, her waist. Catra’s brows are furrowed and her lower lip is caught between her teeth, like she wants to ask something but can’t.
“Adora, I—not yet, not…I couldn’t take it if this were to be a one time thing.”
“What? I never meant it to be. I thought that was obvious, at least.”
Catra rolls her eyes, a small smile flirting with her lips. “What are your intentions with me, Adora?”
“Hm...I don’t know. I guess I like you enough to put up with you— ow? ”
“Be serious, ” Catra says through a laugh, “ I’m being serious. What are your intentions?”
“Fine, fine. I want to date you. I want it to be just us, for as long as you’ll have me. I want...I want to live in your heart, Catra. I want to love you— why are you hitting me?”
“You’re being too blunt,” Catra whines. She’s covered her face with both hands as if to hide, and Adora feels a surge of something like amusement and endearment and love all rolled into one as she pries Catra’s hands away.
“Get used to it, kitty cat. You’re my girlfriend now, you’re stuck with this.”
“That’s funny, I don’t recall you asking me to be your girlfriend.”
“Okay, well. Catra, will you be my girlfriend?”
Catra’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush, but she nods and leans in to press her forehead against Adora’s, holding still for a long few moments. “I...never imagined that this would happen,” she confesses, “I never thought that you’d like me too. That you’d want me. That you’d…”
“Be majorly in love with you?”
“You’re such a dork.”
“ Your dork.”
Catra rolls her eyes, but she’s beaming, and she frames Adora’s face with her hands and stares at her in disbelief, like she still can’t believe that this is really, really happening. And then she leans in and kisses the smile off of Adora’s lips; her hands are trembling and Adora covers them with her own, breathing her best friend—her girlfriend— in and loving how right this feels. She could spend the rest of the night like this, and by the way Catra is beaming int their kiss, Adora is sure that the feeling is mutual.
“You think anyone will miss us?” she asks when Catra breaks away to laugh.
“Does it matter?” Catra grumbles. Adora kisses the pout from her lips before shaking her head. She knows the dopey grin on her lips is reflected on Catra’s, that the answer is so clear on her face that she doesn't even have to say it: that if there’s ever a choice between something else and Catra, well…
“It’s just us,” Adora promises again. Catra holds out her hand for a pinky promise and Adora makes it without hesitation. “Just us, promise.”
In one fluid movement, Catra rolls off of Adora’s lap and wraps an arm around her shoulder to yank her down so that they’re facing each other. And even though her heart is still racing from the shock of being pulled down (and at having Catra so close), Adora still leans in to press a kiss to Catra’s forehead and just breathe her in. When she pulls back, Catra has a dazed little smile on her lips, and she reaches out to cup Adora’s cheek in her hand, and she’s staring at her intently, like she’s trying to memorize every bit of Adora’s face.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Adora whispers, “not this time, not ever.”
“I know, but…” Catra shrugs helplessly, “I guess I just didn’t realize how much I missed you. And how much I loved you. Phone calls are good, but this… ”
The dimple that winks out when Catra smiles, and the freckles scattered across her cheeks, and the tiny scar in her eyebrow she got when they were kids. Her voice coming clear without Adora needing earbuds, and the warmth of her body, and her laugh, bright and warm. A thousand tiny things that Adora had taken for granted, that she won’t have to miss anymore. She’s home now, here in Catra’s arms, and she’s never going to leave again.