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Yashiro Nene was determined to make sure all of her friends had an enjoyable Christmas.
And she means all.
Even her ghostly friend Hanako-san of the Toilet, the apparition who haunts Kamome Academy’s third floor girls’ bathroom in the old school building.
How long had it been since he last celebrated Christmas? He died over fifty years ago, and being a ghost bound to the school meant he only had other supernaturals and humans close to the Far Shore or with a powerful sixth sense to keep him company. His duties as School Mystery Number Seven, the leader of a band of supernaturals enforced with protecting the school they inhabit alongside various kinds of other frightful creatures, would have put even more burden on him than good.
She wondered if he had a favourite festive activity to do when he was alive. When he was a living, breathing human being just like her. When he was a normal fourteen-year-old boy that had big dreams filled with distant galaxies and aspirations for the future he never had the chance to experience. When he was Yugi Amane.
Perhaps he liked going out into the cold, wintery night with his telescope in hand to stargaze and admire the moon he loved so much. The moon he dreamed of going to when he was a young boy attending a Tanabata festival with his gorgeous onee-san, thinking of writing his original wish of becoming an astronaut on his red wishing slip before wishing to meet her again instead. Before he sat on that windowsill in Tsuchigomori’s classroom a few years later with bandages littered all over his body, handing his teacher his most prized possession--a moon rock--and deciding he wasn’t going anywhere, all those decades ago. Maybe he would trace constellations along the stars and connect them as if the celestial bodies were a dot-to-dot puzzle, searching the sky to locate the brightest star in Scorpius, Antares--the star he talked about in the fake world when the two of them were on the rooftop stargazing.
Did the holiday lift his spirits like it did for her? Did he have a loving family to celebrate with? Did he and his twin brother Tsukasa have a healthy sibling relationship then, which would have made it impossible to believe he defied fate and murdered his kin moments before taking his own life?
She supposed he had given up on celebrating when his life was cut short way too soon. When he had reawoken in the Near Shore as a supernatural shortly after his death, only as his punishment to repent for his sins and hope for atonement as he awaited release from his eternal prison that is his role as Hanako-san of the Toilet, mediator between the Near and Far Shores. When he had been stripped of his humanity and became nothing but a mere shell of his former self. Lifeless, callous and unrelenting, only there to serve his purpose. Doing everything he could to earn the right to freedom and move on to the other side where the souls of the deceased would go. The way he regarded himself was even worse; convincing himself to believe he was a cold-blooded murderer that needed to be condemned for his crime day in, day out. Forever carrying the heavy burden of causing his brother’s death, so heavy that it constantly threatened to crush him, filled with guilt and self-loathing to the core of his very soul.
And she loved all of him nonetheless.
She loved the confident, mischievous and ruthless facade he put on, fitting into the role of a bathroom ghost well, not that she would ever admit it. She also loved the awkward, nerdy, human side of his. She adored his entire being and was grateful to have him in her life, even if she might say otherwise out of spite. She might even dare say she loved him.
But, would she ever be able to truly understand him? Would she ever be able to get to know the real him?
They were on different planes of existence, worlds apart. Would she ever manage to cross the endless ocean that separated them and stand on the same shore? He promised he would tell her everything one day, even sealing the deal with a pinky promise. She doesn’t know everything about him, but despite that, she trusts him with her life.
“Yashiro? Earth to Yashiro?”
Nene was abruptly pulled out her thoughts by Hanako calling out to her. She blinked to find the ghost in question invading her personal space as he closely examined her, face only inches away from her own. Too close. Too close for someone she may or may not have a crush on. How long had she been standing there, completely lost in thought and unaware of the observant eyes watching her every move? Startled, she backed away with a yelp and clutched the mop she had forgotten was in her grasp tighter, hitting the wall behind her.
Hanako had the nerve to laugh. “There you are. You had me worried for a second.”
“Hanako-kun!” Nene growled, crossing her arms and glaring daggers at him. “Don’t scare me like that!”
“I’m sorry,” he apologised sarcastically, not even trying to hide his teasing tone. “You’re just too adorable.”
She dropped the mop to the floor, balling up her fists and trying to land a few hits on him as he simply just floated higher into the air so he was out of her reach, watching her miserably failed attempts with amusement. “You’re such a jerk!”
Once she calmed down, Hanako cleared his throat. “In all seriousness, are you alright? You seem to be distracted.”
Nene removed the handkerchief tied around her head and folded it up before beginning to return the cleaning supplies she used for her daily bathroom cleaning duty, a mandatory job after becoming his assistant (which was totally not an excuse for him to see her everyday). “It’s just that Christmas break is coming up…and you’ll be here all alone, in this cold and gloomy deserted school…”
“Aw, thinking of me, are you?” the apparition gushed. “Yashiro, how thoughtful of you! What happened to me not being your type--“ Before he could properly finish his sentence, he received a headbutt from the high schooler, effectively shutting him up.
“What happened to being serious?!” she retaliated with an exasperated huff.
The sound of Hanako chuckling resounded in her ears. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been stuck here for decades, it’s not like I haven’t been through this before.” He levitated towards the stained glass window, resting his head in his arms propped up on the sill, nostalgically looking at the falling snow that coated the ground in a thick white blanket outside. Nene couldn’t help but feel a pang shoot through her chest as she sadly averted her gaze to the tile floor, heart aching in sorrow.
“I remember…when I was alive…” She perked up, listening intently to what he was about to say next. It was rare for Hanako to reveal something about his past. She knew it was a sensitive topic, it seemed hard for him to talk about, and she didn’t blame him. Whenever it was brought up, he always looked so incredibly fragile and vulnerable. It made her want to comfort him, take him into her arms and hug him tightly, acting as his anchor as he expressed his anguish, all the remorse he had accumulated over the long years he spent by his lonesome before they met.
He continued, “Tsukasa and I used to sit by the fireplace and drink hot chocolate while wrapped in warm blankets, watch the snow fall from our window, build snowmen and have snowball fights with some of the other children from our neighbourhood, and gather around the Christmas tree to eagerly rip our presents open…” She could see him smile at the memory in his faint reflection on the glass, lips ever so slightly pulling up into a pleasant curve. “I wish everything was that simple again…” he finished before burying his head further into the safety of his arms, hiding his face from her view.
Hanako’s rambling elicited an idea that came to Nene’s mind.
With an urgency out of the ordinary, she grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, vaguely explaining, “Sorry Hanako-kun, I have to go home now. I’ll be back soon, I promise!” before abruptly dashing out of the bathroom at an unusually fast pace, leaving the Seventh Mystery in a perplexed state as he watched her sprint past the school gates through the window. He heaved a sigh and sunk his head back into his arms. This week was going to pass slowly while Nene and Kou were on Christmas break, he just hoped it could be over and done with quickly before boredom and loneliness consumed him.
The last thing Hanako expected to see the day before Christmas when all of the students and faculty should be at home spending time with their families, was Nene bursting through the threshold of his bathroom as cheery as ever and singing, “Merry Christmas, Hanako-kun!” as she enveloped him in a hug, interrupting his hanafuda game with the Mokke that whined in frustration as he dropped his cards before hopping away, probably off to find some candy to satisfy their everlasting hunger.
“Yashiro? What are you doing here? It’s only been two days, were you that excited to see me again that you couldn’t wait until next week?” he prompted, wrapping his arms around her back to return the gesture. He wasn’t sure how she managed to get into the school since the gates were locked, but he had a suspicion a certain spider-like supernatural disguised as a staff member let her in. He’d make sure to have a word with his former teacher about permitting students to enter when school was closed later.
“I’m here to spend Christmas with you!” Nene chirped happily. “Well, Christmas Eve, at least…” She timidly fiddled with her fingers as a distraction from his unwavering gaze.
Hanako took note of the outfit she donned, no longer wearing the school uniform he was accustomed to. She swapped it out for more suitable attire; a fluffy blue jacket with two cute bear-like round-shaped ears on the hood. The thought that the style was so quintessentially her crossed his mind. She also had an additional scarf that featured a tiny pink rabbit design that resembled a Mokke with gloves and a pair of earmuffs adorned her head alongside her usual magatama hair clips. Looks like she came prepared.
“A-Anyways, let’s bake some doughnuts!” she awkwardly announced as she took him by the hand and pulled him out of the bathroom.
All of Hanako’s other unanswered questions died in his mouth, not bothering to dwell on them as the girl enthusiastically dragged him across the building and into the home economics room. She offered him an apron, which he put on even though he knew any ingredients they used would pass right through his transparent spectral body, then tied her own on after removing her jacket, scarf, and gloves and leaving them on a nearby coat hook.
Nene flipped through the pages of a cookbook resting on the counter, looking for the correct recipe and surveyed the list. “I’ll get the ingredients, wait here,” she ordered, walking over to the cupboards on the other side of the room in search of what they needed.
Hanako hovered just above the ground patiently, keeping a watchful eye on her in case something were to happen. After all, who knew what kinds of potentially dangerous supernaturals could be lurking around the school as they speak, scavenging for defenceless humans to harm in an attempt to abide by their rumours at the fear of disappearing. The holidays were no excuse to let his guard down; supernaturals didn’t rest, they didn’t need to. That was why he always had his kitchen knife at hand, so he was able to quickly access the weapon that could send supernaturals packing with a single slash if need be and pull it out of the pocket of his gakuran at will. The same knife he used to end his brother’s life, plunging it into his abdomen until the sharp blade stained a bloody red, making his own stomach churn. The knife of a murderer--
“There we go!” Hanako stopped his train of thought when he heard Nene place the ingredients she gathered on the bench. “Eggs, flour, sugar, butter, milk, baking powder…I think that’s everything!”
He guessed he could try his best to enjoy baking his favourite snack with his closest friend without ruining the fun for the both of them with his unwanted negativity.
“And…they’re ready!” His assistant took them out of the oven and laid them out on the table, the sweet, mouth-watering aroma of freshly baked doughnuts spread throughout the room. “I know you prefer plain doughnuts, but since it’s Christmas, can we decorate them?” she pleaded with him, displaying a few bags of icing, each coloured red, green, white, and brown respectively.
Hanako tapped his chin, pretending to be pondering as if it were a difficult decision, already knowing his answer beforehand. “Hmm…I don’t know. You know how much I love my plain homemade doughnuts…” He saw her droop in disappointment at the edge of his peripheral vision. How cute. “But, since it is Christmas, I’ll let it slide just this once.” Her expression lit up again, back to her normal bright and bubbly self in the blink of an eye.
He literally couldn’t decline her requests when she made wishes to him, granting wishes was a part of his job as a wish granting supernatural and he must comply with the rumour of Hanako-san of the Toilet, of course. But putting that aside, he found himself growing weaker for her with each passing day, every time they would spend time together and grow closer, strengthening their relationship. It was a mystery as to how someone as dreamy, idealistic, gullible and reckless as her could make a big bad self-proclaimed supernatural like him cave so easily.
Their baking session ended with them munching on the delicious Christmas doughnuts they made together.
Next Nene stuffed him into a dark blue coat with a checkered scarf and purple gloves that Tsuchigomori had graciously lent to her. She roughly put them over his gakuran and hauled him outside.
Hanako reached his hand out to catch a falling snowflake, but as he expected, it passed through his palm completely unaffected and continued its journey down to the ground to join the rest of the snow like nothing happened. “What are we doing out here, Yashiro?”
“You said that you and Tsukasa-kun used to have snowball fights with the other children when you were alive, didn’t you?” Nene pointed out, remembering what he told her the day before Christmas break started.
His eyes widened in realisation at what she was hinting at. “But there’s no one else here, it’s just you and me.”
“I think this fixes the problem.”
Tsuchigomori exited the old school building with Yako sitting on his shoulder in her fox form, tail curled around his neck beside his scarf. The supernatural teacher held a thermos, presumably containing coffee to warm him up.
“Tsuchigomori-sensei?” Hanako questioned his former teacher. “I didn’t think you of all people would want to participate in a snowball fight.”
The Fifth Mystery grumbled. “I don’t, Lord Seven. Your troublesome assistant is forcing me to do this…and those exorcists,” he said through gritted teeth.
They turned their heads to see Kou and Teru coming in their direction from the new school building with Mitsuba and Akane in tow. The Minamoto brothers were energetic as always while the First and Third Mysteries seemed disinterested but went along with the siblings’ antics anyways--most likely to avoid being struck by anti-spirit lightning from Kou’s staff, the Raiteijou; or stabbed and electrocuted until they were burnt to a crisp and wiped off the face of the planet by Teru’s sword if they didn’t do as they said or stepped out of line.
The wraith hid behind Nene at the sight of the student council president and quivered in fear, tentatively peeking over her shoulder. “He’s not here to kill me, is he?” he shot an accusing glare at the older exorcist.
Teru just laughed darkly in response. “No, Number Seven. If that’s what you’re asking for, I’ll carry out the deed…” He smirked at Hanako’s visible flinch. “But now’s not the time.”
“That’s right. Teru-nii doesn’t have his spirit blade on him, he can’t hurt you,” Kou assured him. “I convinced Nii-chan to come along so we could have a snowball fight. Senpai was the one who suggested the idea.”
With the spotlight now placed on her, Nene curled in on herself from the sudden attention. “I wanted to make this Christmas memorable for you, Hanako-kun.”
“Yashiro…” Hanako didn’t have long to react until Teru rolled some snow into a ball and hurled it at him at full speed, hitting him square in the head. “That was unfair!”
The older Minamoto laughed deviously, pure malice lacing his tone as he tossed another snowball in his hand. “Well, let’s begin, shall we?”
They split themselves into two teams; Hanako and Nene on one and Kou, Teru, Mitsuba and Akane on the other with Tsuchigomori and Yako opting to sit aside and spectate to Hanako and Nene’s dismay, or take a nap for the Second Mystery who curled up and slept. The snowball fight escalated into a war, mainly between Hanako and Teru. Hanako expertly dodged the snowballs Teru fired at him, occasionally getting hit by one of Teru’s accurate and precise calculated shots. He stayed far from Nene who was currently focusing on the others so he could divert Teru’s attention and wouldn’t aim her way.
To their surprise, the uneven playing field didn’t prove to be a challenge as they emerged from the battle victorious. Luckily for them there were no ordinary humans who didn’t have an exceptionally strong sixth sense or weren’t close to death and unable to see supernaturals around, seeing floating snowballs would certainly have been a sight to behold.
At some point they all built a snowman together. Hanako added the finishing touches by wrapping his scarf around its neck, sticking his gloves onto the ends of the two twigs they used for its arms and resting his hat atop its head until it began to melt rapidly due to exposure to the sun which resulted in him frantically retrieving his belongings before they got soaked.
After everyone dispersed, Nene flopped onto the snow with a sigh, alarming Hanako who rushed to her side and checked her over for any injuries. “Yashiro?! Are you okay?” The reminder of her inevitable death sent dread through his veins. Surely she wouldn’t die here, not now. He prayed that the gods would take pity on them and wouldn’t be so cruel--
She giggled, constantly moving her arms and legs side to side. “I’m making a snow angel, silly.”
Releasing a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, his nerves eased up, a wave of relief washing over him. “And you tell me not to scare you.” He extended a hand to help her up, which she gladly took, dusting herself off once she was standing and led them back into the bathroom.
“Hey Hanako-kun, can you help me put this up?” Nene asked, holding the star out to him.
“Sure.” Hanako lifted her up, gradually floating higher until she could reach the Christmas tree and place the star on top and carefully lowered her back down.
“All done!” She stepped back to admire their work. Hanako’s bathroom was now decorated in various Christmas decorations, including a tree decked out in ornaments and lights (they originally planned to use Kodama, the confession tree as the Christmas tree but decided against it after finding a regular one in the storage closet).
She rummaged through the bag she brought and pulled out a large rectangular shaped box neatly presented in red reindeer printed gift wrapping paper complete with a shiny bow and left it under the tree.
This piqued his interest as he came over to inspect the peculiar gift. “What’s that?”
“Your Christmas present, of course,” she answered. “You’re not allowed to open it until tomorrow.”
They heard something come clattering down to the ground from above and looked up to find a Mokke clinging on to a sprig of mistletoe being held up by one of Hanako’s Hakujoudai. The second disembodied spirit orb of the pair nudged Hanako closer to Nene, uncomfortably close. Sure, Hanako was clingy and latched onto her an awful lot, always needed to be in close proximity to her and touch starved--but this was different. She knew about the myth, being the romantic she was. This was a common trope the holiday themed romance novels she liked to read took. The protagonist and their love interest would stand under the mistletoe, lean in, and share a gentle kiss.
She could hear her racing heart pounding in her ears, face heating up and cheeks flushing her gaze met his, magenta and amber clashing in anticipation. He cupped his hand under her chin and tilting her head up, thumb resting on her bottom lip. She could see him hesitate for a moment, eyes darting back up to hers as if to silently ask for permission, which she gave him with a nod.
Hanako knew this shouldn’t happen. Any relationship between a human and a supernatural was toeing the paper-thin line of a taboo, let alone a romantic one. They were considered immoral and forbidden. The worlds were intended to stay separated, ties between them were ought to be severed. But in that moment, he felt that none of those mundane things mattered anymore, it all seemed superficial.
Nene’s eyes flutter closed and she leans in, clasping her hands together. It’s then that Hanako’s resolve breaks and he closes the distance, sealing his lips against hers. His lips are as cold as the rest of his ghostly form, lacking the body heat he once had, yet it did little to ease the burning intensity of her desire to be as near him as humanly possible. The kiss doesn’t taste like lemons just as Tsukasa had described, more like the sugary flavoured doughnuts they ate earlier, but it reminded her of fireworks and meteor showers.
She gripped the front of his gakuran with one of her hands to balance herself otherwise her legs would’ve given out with how wobbly and unsteady they felt, her other tangling in his unruly black hair while his remaining unoccupied one found purchase at her waist, pulling her closer. Her insides jumbled up when he changed the angle by tilting his head, deepening the kiss in the process. It’s like he’s so cold that he sets her on fire, building up heat until she’s on the brink of exploding, bursting into a supernova and emitting an engulfing light. She shudders each time he reciprocates the kiss vigorously with a passion to match hers, a multitude of butterflies flapping their wings inside her stomach. They break apart for a second so she can catch her breath before he takes it away with another kiss just as ardent as their first.
Unfortunately, breathing was a necessity for one of them and they had to reluctantly separate, still holding on as if the other would disappear if they let go, shattering into shards of broken glass right in their embrace. Nene was left breathless, gasping for air as he cradled her in his arms. That wasn’t how she would have envisioned her first kiss to transpire before her feelings towards him developed, daydreaming about being swept off her feet and whisked away by a dashing Prince Charming instead--but she was grateful it was Hanako who she would share it with, basking in the bliss.
Hanako pressed a final chaste kiss to her lips, leaving a lingering tingling sensation. “I love you, Yashiro. Thank you…for everything.”
“I-I love you too, Hanako-kun,” Nene stammered, shying away and hiding her face in the crook of his neck. He loved seeing her flustered, finding her mannerisms endearing.
He guided her back out into the hallway. “Let’s get some hot chocolate and stargaze on the roof.”
Another quick trip to the home ec room to make two mugs of hot chocolate was taken and they were now going up the staircase connecting to the school’s rooftop. Upon opening the door, a strong gust of wind blew past, making Nene shiver after coming into contact with the cool night air. Hanako handed her his mug and effortlessly picked her up as she stifled a squeal, carrying her bridal style over to a nearby bench where he conjured his cape up and blanketed it around the both of them.
It was a clear night, not a cloud to be spotted in the sky, which amplified the frigid winter dusk. He took a sip out of his cup and rested it in his palms, staring wistfully into the moon’s reflection in the drink. It looked so close, but it was so far out of reach. He could make out Nene’s silhouette against its radiant glow.
“You still want to go there, don’t you?”
Hanako turned his attention to the girl beside him. “Huh?”
“To the moon, I mean…” she added apprehensively, avoiding his scrutinising gaze.
“I do, but…” His voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper as he spoke, “I’m not going anywhere.”
It’s the same phrase he used in 1969, days after the first moon landing when Amane changed the future written in his book, a record of his life kept under lock and key in the depths of the 4pm Bookstacks. It’s the same phrase he used in Shijima Mei’s painted picture perfect world when they stargazed on the roof together. Where Hanako, posing as a living Amane in a theatre worthy act, pointed Antares out and compared the red supergiant to a ghost, in the sense that the real star possibly burnt up and stopped existing a long time ago despite still being visible.
He was restrained to the school, restricted to its confines. Any step he took beyond its boundary would result in his form disintegrating before reappearing back in its premises, his existence was solely limited to it. He can’t go to the moon, remaining bound to the Earth and chained by sturdy, unbreakable red ropes. He can’t become an astronaut and travel to space in a rocket ship to see the stars up close, not anymore. He gave that dream up when he died, the dead have no futures as he told her on the clouds in the fake world where they had the quarrel about her dwindling lifespan. The dead were frozen in time, the ticking clock of the present grinding to a halt as if Akane had wielded his pocket watch, never to resume movement again.
The reality of their situation hits her, and it feels like a punch to the gut. Tears prick her eyes, threatening to overflow and spill. Her vision turns nebulous, clouded over with a hazy, blurry mist. She rests her head on his shoulder, feeling the consistent rhythm of his diaphragm expanding and contracting with each intake and exhale of air. He breathed, inhaling oxygen that his dead lungs no longer needed. He was supposed to stop breathing over fifty years ago, yet he still breathed. The soft rising and falling of his chest was almost enough to lull her to sleep.
Hanako grabs one of Nene’s delicate hands and intertwines their fingers, lacing them together and combs his other through her silky strands of cream and seafoam hair. Those captivating moon-like eyes meet hers, seeming luminescent in the dimly lit atmosphere.
“Besides…I think I’ve found something even better to cherish,” he murmured before stealing her fourth kiss, her fifth, and countless more after that.
They had a doomed future together, that was clear. They would forcefully be torn apart one way or the other, but she knew they would both see the light at the end of the tunnel eventually. She would have thought she was hallucinating if it weren’t for the solidity of his translucent body due to their bond by swallowing the mermaid scales in order to reduce the effects of the curse, tying their fates together across this life and the next. Maybe that wasn’t as bad as she had imagined.
Hanako opened the gift she left the next morning and was ecstatic to find out that it was a telescope, an identical model to the one he had in the fake world.