Chapter Text
‘Heads up next time you choose a roommate.’
Lumine was cursing herself and her roommate for the fifteenth time this month as she handed the sheepish looking girl at her kitchen table a mug of freshly brewed coffee. Coffee that was supposed to keep herself awake after the horrors she had to experience last night once again.
Honestly, she never minded that he brought a new girl home every week, it was none of her business if he kept playing around. But did he really have to vanish every morning for his run and leave it to her to kick the girl out? At this point, she was bound to become a misanthrope with how often he used her as his ex-girlfriend clean-up crew.
Yes, I’m sure he will call you back. No, don’t worry I’m not his girlfriend. Of course, you can come by anytime.
But it had been such torture to find a roommate who cleaned the sink on his own and made her chicken soup when she was sick. Losing sleep over the nightly screams of his newest conquest when she had an exam the next morning was a small price to pay for such a responsible and suspiciously rich roommate. Even more when she thought of his predecessors, one of whom may have accidentally blown up the bathroom once. Bennett had been a real sweetie but misfortune followed him everywhere and so she was more than relieved when he moved out.
And begrudgingly enough, she had to admit that Childe was more than easy on the eyes which made it hard to be angry at him when he came home from his daily morning run with a wide smirk on his face and a bag of fresh bread buns in his arms. Though sometimes he even came home with scratches and bloody lips. It had made her worry when it first happened and though he had assured her that it came from nothing but some simple ‘training sessions’ with colleagues the Cheshire grin he was wearing clearly betrayed his words. She had simply sighed before patching up his wounds. Although it made sense the more she thought about it. Childe just had that natural tendency to steer into trouble, no, even create it on purpose.
How both of them went from nothing but roommates to friends who shared their entire free time with each other was still a miracle to her. With him majoring to become a fight choreographer, he was the complete opposite of her and her major in marine science, but she had to admit that his field of expertise fit him perfectly with his tall stature and lean but strong build. Not to mention that he was really passionate about his studies which was a trait rare to find amongst her classmates but much to her chagrin he always tried to drag her on his ‘short rounds’ of at least 10 km a day when all she wanted was to curl up in her warm and cozy bed to sleep for five more minutes.
‘Come on girlie, the early bird gets the wo- did you just throw a slipper at me?’
‘The early bird will get more thrown at him if he doesn’t leave me alone. And don’t even come home without fresh bagels!’
Well, speaking of five more minutes, she really needed to shower and hurry if she didn’t want to miss her morning class but the girl Childe had spent the entire night pounding through all the layers of Teyvat was really keen on talking to her, trying to pry as much information out of her as possible. Lumine couldn’t help but pity her a bit, having seen this far too often: Girls falling head over heels for her charming roommate, even though he always made it clear that he simply wanted to have fun during college, and then trying to get on her good side so she’d put in a good word for them before he dropped them like a hot stone. Because he always did. Or even worse, eyeing her like she was a nasty bug around him that needed to be eradicated.
But despite his habit of leaving broken hearts left and right it was nearly impossible for anyone she knew to hate him, not just because of his outgoing personality and good looks. He just had a natural tendency of being confident with himself that made it hard for anyone to draw away from him, men and women alike. Even if her relationship with Childe was strictly platonic, she really could see why her boyfriend Kaeya hated the guts out of her roommate. But she couldn’t blame him. If she hadn’t been in a committed relationship already she may have found herself amongst those girls trying to pick up the shards of their broken hearts off the ground.
————- ✼ ————-
‘He really left you to dump his new slice again?’
Her brother Aether snorted in his smoothie as their squad joined them in the cafeteria, his girlfriend Amber laughing at her boyfriend’s mishap. For some reason, they were always way too eager to hear about Childe’s newest conquests and how Lumine got dragged along despite her loud protests. Not that she could blame them though, over the course of the year they had become great friends with her roommate and even she had to admit that there was never a dull moment when Childe was around.
Lumine sighed as she shoved the wobbly omelet-shaped thing around on her plate. College food really was for the birds but sadly students couldn’t be beggars.
‘Yeah he did. You should’ve seen the look on her face when I told that girl he’d surely call her later before I shoved her out the door. Remind me, how did I end up being more of a jerk than my useless roommate?’
‘Oh please, as if you wouldn’t drop your panties immediately if he were to make a move on you’, her friend Lisa teased her with sparkling eyes, a smug smile playing on her lips. ‘I’m honestly still amazed you haven’t dumped Kaeya when you have such a snack walking around the house every day.’
It earned her a light pinch from her best friend Jean, who was cutting her mushroom pizza into small pieces as her boyfriend Diluc let his face fall into his hands at the mention of his dreaded brother.
Both Lumine and Aether couldn’t help but roll their eyes simultaneously although she did feel a slight pang of guilt in her chest at Lisa’s words. Even a blind man had to admit that Childe was devastatingly handsome with his tall build and sharp features, accompanied by that ever-playful smile on his lips.
And he made her laugh every day, even after he wrestled her down to the floor once a week for another one of his ‘training sessions’ as he loved to call it. It always earned him a good smack when she managed to turn the tables on him thanks to Aether training with her ever since they were children. Although the playful smirk he wore whenever she managed to press him to the ground, straddling and pinning his wrists above his head, never made her feel like the victor.
Lumine was absolutely faithful to Kaeya though as he had been her boyfriend for over three years now despite their relationship being caught in routine lately. Kaeya had been her boyfriend ever since she moved to Mondstadt and facing a new city without her brother had been terrifying. Of course, Aether still looked out for her, their special bond as twins unshakable no matter what but it wasn’t the same now that they lived in different apartments. It had been her decision to find a place of her own, wanting to explore who she was without him glued to her side. And though she didn’t regret her choice the first few days alone in the city were lonely until she met Kaeya during her freshman year.
Diluc had never made it a secret that he held some sort of grudge against his own brother, even going to the point of openly denying that they were related and warning her to get closer to him at every chance. Warning her that Kaeya couldn’t be trusted and he would only betray her in the end, as he did with everyone. No one really knew what had caused such a fallout between them when Jean once told her about them being inseparable as children. And as much as Lumine knew that Diluc adored her like a little sister, she also knew how much he disapproved of her relationship with Kaeya because right now his eyes were shooting crimson lightning that went unnoticed by almost everyone but her and Jean. Kaeya had become such a huge part of her life though and at this point, she was far too used to him being at her side.
But even so, Lumine wasn’t immune to her roommate’s charm and caught herself staring at him way too often. But before she could continue that dangerous trail of thoughts she heard a loud smack as Lisa’s boyfriend gave a fake gasp at her tease and whacked her with a book, making the whole table roar with laughter as Lumine watched her friends bicker forth good-naturedly.
Suddenly she felt a lean arm slinging itself around her shoulder as the devil himself slid onto the space next to her.
‘I heard something about a snack.’
Childe grinned at her with that wickedly charming smile of his, before he started claiming her plate as his own, shoving food into his mouth at inhuman speed. How was he able to eat that much without ever gaining weight, Lumine wondered every time, when she only had to smell take-out and immediately felt the calories making themselves home on her hips.
‘Well, Lumi was just gossiping about you but otherwise, you didn’t miss out on anything’, her traitor of a brother chuckled and gave her other traitor of a roommate a high five, though this only earned himself a kick against his shin under the table. Grinning about her minor victory she decided to raid her friends’ plates before she felt Childe poking her cheek repeatedly.
‘Is my cute roomie going to fill me in on the gossip, or do I have to tickle it out of you?’
She felt her face flare up when he smirked at her with his striking blue eyes, making him look like a mischievous little boy. Deciding to ignore the heat rising to her cheeks at the way he had said the words ‘cute’ and ‘tickle’, and definitely ignoring the way everyone stared at them she flicked him on his nose.
‘You can try to pry it out of that cute roomie of yours, carrot head, but you might lose a few fingers on the way. And I hope you didn’t forget how your nose looked the last time you tried to tickle me’, she muttered with the haughtiest voice she could muster, which promptly elicited a peal of deep rumbling laughter from the male at the snarky comeback.
‘What a shame’, he sighed in mock defeat, yet somehow looking incredibly pleased with her threat,’ That way you’d only miss out on the way my fingers can do their magi-‘
‘OH NO, NOT IN FRONT OF MY SACRED PANCAKES YOU TWO BRATS!’
Aether let out a grossed-out shriek before he threw his emptied coffee mug at their heads, which made even Diluc snort into his juice.
Never a dull moment, indeed.
————- ✼ ————-
‘CHILLLLLLLLLDEEEEEEEEEEE!’
Lumine couldn’t help but yell at her roommate for the length of Teyvat when she opened the fridge just to find out that he once again had left her nothing but a tiny bit of milk so his lazy bum wouldn’t have to buy a new one. One of these days she swore she was going to freeze his underwear if he kept stealing her food. Her food, her milk and one time she actually caught him eating her take-out under the shower even if he was undoubtedly rich enough to afford a whole restaurant for himself. She was hungry and no one stole her food without risking her wrath.
But her anger flew out of the window the second she saw him stumble into the kitchen, with nothing but a towel loosely flung around his hips and water droplets spilling everywhere from his body as he came to a halt before her.
‘I THOUGHT WE WERE BEING ROBBED! WHAT IS HAPPENING AND WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THE EMPTY MILK LIKE THAT??’
He yelled back at her while trying to get a grip on his towel that was hanging dangerously low and slowly threatening to slip down his hips.
‘A bit lower please’, she thought to herself as she watched the water droplets trickle down his skin.
‘This is about the milk and not your hormones, you slut’, her conscience tried to chime in immediately.
He was close, way too close and the fact that he was half-naked didn’t really help with calming her racing heart. What was she angry about again?
Looking at her flabbergasted expression, a smirk played its way on his lips that involuntarily made her want to clench her legs together. Why did he have this effect on her when she had seen other guys naked before? Why did she feel this way when she’d seen him grinning the exact same way at other girls? She should have been immune by now. After gaping at him for what felt like an eternity Lumine struggled back to her senses, trying to ignore how his smirk grew wider at her heated face. Her conscience sure was crying tears of blood by now and she cursed herself for being so easy to read.
‘My milk’, she growled out in an attempt to hide her embarrassment of ogling him that shamelessly, although they both knew he saw right through her when he inched towards her in a purposely slow way. Backing away cautiously Lumine held out the empty carton in front of her as if it was a shield until she felt the sharp edges of the kitchen table digging into her lower back.
‘So feisty today, girlie. I like it.’
Childe whispered as he leaned down closer to her, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin of her ear. His voice was low and rough around the edges and it took all of her willpower not to whimper at how good it felt.
‘But yell at me again and I’ll give you a real reason to scream.’
She could only gape at him, the proximity of his naked upper body making her brain malfunction on the spot. She knew. She knew he was only teasing her, testing her, like he always did. His words were just as empty as his eyes but for some reason, she wasn’t able to form a coherent comeback as she continued to stare at him.
‘Cat got your tongue?’
He continued to tease her relentlessly, obviously enjoying the way she squirmed under his intense gaze. It was as if no one but her existed for him at this moment but she didn’t understand why. Unable to meet his eyes anymore she decided to let her eyes wander somewhere else and landed on his firm chest. Big mistake. Lean muscles ripped across every part of his slender body and she instinctively placed her hands on his chest, intending to push him away but immediately stopped her movements when her fingertips came in contact with his heated skin. Nothing but mistakes today.
Biting her bottom lip, though still unable to pry her hands away from him, Lumine shot a quick glance at him before flickering away again. His eyes had grown a dark shade of ocean blue, glimmering dangerously in the dim light of the kitchen.
‘Cat’s gonna rip out your tongue if you don’t stop drinking my milk. Buy your own.’
She choked, feeling her throat dry out. Why was he doing this to her? He knew she had a boyfriend and yet he cornered her like this, pushing her into this impossible unbearable situation.
Liar.
She knew all too well she was only lying to herself if she said that she didn’t enjoy the way his body was almost pressing against her, didn’t enjoy the way he hummed to himself as he twirled a strand of her golden hair around his fingers. There was something undeniably pleasing about his complete lack of shame and she cursed herself for feeling this attracted to him. She hated him for making her heart race like that when he should have known how wrong it was but mostly she hated herself for wanting even less space between them.
It didn’t matter that Kaeya barely showed any interest in her lately, barely tried to touch her lately. Barely made her smile lately as Childe did. It didn’t matter that she could feel their relationship slowly slipping through her fingers because no matter what: it was still wrong of her to enjoy Childe’s undivided attention on her. She was a loyal person through and through and still, she couldn’t help but slowly starting to trace circles across his naked skin. The shocked gasp that escaped his lips when she felt him stiffen under her little ministrations brought her back to reality. Her fingers felt like they got burnt on the coldest ice when she pulled them away.
What on earth were they doing?
‘Sorry Childe, I-‘
Suddenly Childe pushed away from her, but there was nothing happy about the way he laughed as he pushed some wet strands of hair out of his face, his voice raspier than usual and laced with something she couldn’t really put a finger on.
‘Sorry Lumi, I won’t forget your milk next time, don’t worry.’
He choked the words out as if he was under immense pain before he bolted away to his room, not once looking back which left her with a painful tension tugging at her heart. How was it possible for him to look so hurt as if his heart had been cut out of his chest when she was the one feeling crushed by her own guilt.
Neither of them talked about this incident again for the following days to come and in fact, they started to avoid each other. It wasn’t that they didn’t talk to each other anymore, Childe still made lunch for her when she was hunched over her papers, and Lumine still always made sure he was dressed up properly before leaving the apartment. But the carefree moments of levity between them were gone and it hurt to admit how much she wished it wasn’t like that. Of course, she wanted to talk about it but she was far too terrified of the possibility it was going to destroy their friendship, even more since she couldn’t even name what she felt for him. She simply didn’t dare to think about it.
And there was also Kaeya. Kaeya, whom Lumine wasn’t even sure about if she still really loved him. If she ever truly loved him considering she had allowed herself to get swayed like this. When you loved someone no one else should even exist for you right?
Or if he really loved her if she thought about how little attention he’d been giving her lately. Not answering her texts and only calling her back late. But did that truly matter when she was about to destroy everything she had with those hollowhearted thoughts of hers?
She wondered when she had started to doubt their relationship. Was it ever since they began their senior year and started to see each other less, talk to each other less, and started to drift apart slowly as she got closer to Childe? Of course, she understood that Kaeya’s major in politics really took a toll on his free time though she had told herself over and over that it was just a phase. That they could find their way back to the old carefree days eventually. But Lumine knew that despite her doubts she truly cared for Kaeya and didn’t want to hurt him.
And so in the weeks that followed she made it a point to leave for classes much earlier than usual, work later than usual and be at her friends’ places for far longer, all so she wouldn’t have to see Childe and agonize about the look in his eyes when he had been so close to her. It didn’t matter that whenever they ran into each other at home, she would always catch him gazing at her for a little too long, catch him letting his hand rest on her hair a little too long when he patted her on the head.
Lumi, don’t work too hard. Lumi, go get some rest, you have an important exam coming up right? I made you a sandwich. Lumi-
It hurt. It hurt to see him this caring when she could never claim him as her own. When she shouldn’t even be thinking about it.
He had been invading her dreams and thoughts enough already and she was fed up with herself. In truth, she probably didn’t mean this much to him if he continued to bring girls over though it was the first time it actually bothered her when she shouldn’t even be tormenting herself over him and his flings.
There was nothing between them.
It was time to face reality and that reality lied with Kaeya, whom she was about to surprise with his favorite take-out in her bag, Chicken-Mushroom-Skewers. She was giggling to herself as she turned the key to his apartment. Despite his constant lectures that take-out was extremely unhealthy, he’d never been able to resist Sara’s local dishes and even stole some of Lumine’s portions when she wasn’t looking. When she entered his dorm, an unfamiliar girl’s voice was coming from his room.
‘Oh no, I only brought food for the two of us. Should have really thought about him having friends over.’
Lumine cursed herself while tip-toeing to his door so he wouldn’t hear her.
————- ✼ ————-
When he heard the door open, followed by something that sounded suspiciously like a body thumping to the floor, Childe felt himself stiffen immediately. At this moment, every scenario that ran through his head included Lumine being hurt, scratched, or bloody. But nothing compared to the excruciating pain he felt when he walked out just to be met with her figure slouched down on the ground, tears streaming down her face as she tried to catch her breath.
In her unbroken sobbing he swore he could hear the sound of his heart breaking. Hearts never just snapped like a candy cane or burst like a balloon. They split apart like cracked glass, the tiny fragments bleeding into every organ until the pain was so unbearable, he wanted nothing but to rip himself apart.
It was what he had felt every time he saw her together with Kaeya when it should have been him. Every time he had laid in his own bed picturing her by his side, in his arms, when she wasn’t his. Every time he allowed another girl whose names he never remembered into his bed, week by week, made her scream his name and only ever wished it was her. And Archons, it would’ve been so easy to just walk over to her room and draw her into his arms, closer and closer, until her body was molded to his own. Every night he had to stop himself from doing so. But he knew he never had a chance of calling her his.
He had wondered far too often, did Kaeya ever feel dizzy too when she smiled and that one little dimple crept up her cheeks. Did he ever stop in his tracks and realized how kind she was, that she always kept a whole heart for anyone she took a shine to. Did his heart ever break and mended the same moment, thinking about how she often struggled to see the good in the world and herself but smiled for everyone nonetheless. He had tried to tell himself that it was enough for him that she was loved and cherished, no matter if it wasn’t him who was allowed to love her.
But a lie was a lie, no matter how comforting it may seem and all his heartache faded away the second he picked her up from the floor, her legs trembling too much to hold her weight.
‘Kaeya... Kaeya, he has someone else now.’