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Lumine hated goodbyes, even when she knew they were inevitable.
Goodbyes had always felt like an axe chopping its way into her heart, and the worst one she’d ever experienced was without a doubt the one from her brother because it was so utterly unexpected. Seriously, where did the good in goodbye even come from? It was something Lumine had asked herself more than once and yet she couldn’t find an answer to this question.
Ever since she came to Teyvat, her life had been nothing but an unbroken chain of goodbyes. Goodbye brother, goodbye Mondstadt, goodbye Liyue.
And now it was time for another goodbye.
The wind ruffling through her air, a salty taste on her tongue and the sight of the ocean breathing with rhythmic ease always were one of her favourite things about the pier of Liyue harbour. And today it was once again a hive of activity, stretching into the wide blue sea under a cloudless sky – a perfect day to embark on a new journey or return home to your loved ones.
But for Lumine neither was going to happen today.
The giant ship at the end of the wooden planks was slowly starting to fill with people hailing from all over Snezhnaya only waiting to return to their homeland. Merchants, diplomats and simple tourists. Some of them she even recognized by name – Vlad, Nadia and Ekaterina.
But a certain ginger-haired Harbinger she was waiting for was nowhere in sight and for a moment Lumine wondered if she missed him. Though that couldn’t be because he’d told her after sending his little brother home that he would leave Liyue soon as well.
She’d known that this day would come. After all, his mission in Liyue was done and finished and she would have to leave and continue her journey as well. Of course, Lumine knew that there was a limit to their time together but even then she hadn’t expected it to sting this terribly.
Perhaps it was because she’d grown so attached to him in such a short time, despite his obvious alignment with the enemy camp. At first she’d told herself and everyone wondering why she spent more time with him than was necessary that it was only due to his seemingly endless wallet. That they were merely using each other to achieve their goals.
But it was hard to continue justifying their time together with only that, when she started to catch herself joining in his laughter. The real laughter, that was wide and free and made his eyes turn to crescent moons. It was hard to remember they were technically enemies when he came over to the Inn she stayed at during night time to ‘kidnap’ her to a nearby cliff where they could watch the stars together.
It was hard to remember any of her steel-forged resolves when he made her heart throb with the simplest gestures, the sweetest smiles, the warmest hugs when she least expected it. When he kissed her for the first time, amidst a field of glaze lilies shining bright and blue under the waning moon’s light.
“Did you fall for me now?”, he’d asked with a hint of a proud and devilish grin in his eyes after pulling back from the kiss.
“In your dreams, pretty boy”, she’d replied dryly to stop her real feelings from creeping up her throat and satisfying his ego.
He’d burst out laughing before pulling her in for another kiss.
“Well, at least you think I’m pretty. I can work with that.”
She sighed at the memory and leaned back against the wall. Lumine couldn’t imagine what life would bring tomorrow, next week, next year. But - she was going to miss him, whether she wanted it or not. Though it was nothing she really wanted to admit to, especially loudly. His ego would only inflate to the size of Liyue and that was something she couldn’t allow to happen.
“Enjoying the nice weather, girlie?”
Lumine cursed herself and her heart for starting to beat wildly immediately when she turned around to the source of the voice ripping her out of her thoughts. A wide grin was spread over Childe’s face as he sauntered over to where she stood, ocean blue eyes glistening with amusement and his hands hidden in his pockets – the very embodiment of nonchalance.
“I was, until you came along to ruin it”, she answered as seriously as she could which surprised a peal of laughter out of the tall man.
“You really are ruthless, girlie”, Childe laughed in mock hurt before he came to a halt before her.
“Though seeing you here, so close to a ship full of members of the Fatui I can’t help but feel like you were waiting for a special someone”, he hummed with amusement in his voice.
One of his hands rose to tug a strand of her hair behind her ear just to continue resting on her cheek, warm and steady - and for a moment Lumine contemplated to run away instead of satisfying his cruel curiosity by admitting that she was waiting for him. But she wasn’t a coward and she knew not saying goodbye to him would haunt her for a very long time.
“I wouldn’t go as far as saying that you’re special but well, since you’re going home I wanted to send you off properly I guess.”
“Come on, we won’t see each other for a while and that’s all you have to say?”, he grinned at her.
Lumine gulped. Of course, this wasn’t all she wanted to say to him. But spilling her true feelings to him would be akin to giving him a knife to twist into her heart. She couldn’t be foolish like that
“Well, that’s what friends do after all”, she said after a short moment to which his cheerful expression changed immediately.
“Friends, huh”, Childe simply answered to that.
Lumine gulped. She couldn’t really blame him for that dark look cascading over his face. After all, friends didn’t kiss as they did. Friends didn’t fall asleep together under the stars after sharing stories about their adventurers with each other just to wake up in each other’s arms when the next morning dawned.
After all, friends didn’t dance around each other as they had done for the past weeks.
“I’m just a friend to you, hm?”
Casting a quick look over his shoulder to make sure no one was nearby and paying attention to them, Childe moved forward until Lumine was trapped between him and the wall digging into her back. It would have been far too easy to push him back, send him into the wall opposite of them. They both knew she was strong enough to fight him off if she wanted to and yet those defiant thoughts died the moment his lips touched hers.
There was no gentleness about the way he kissed her, rough and demanding, one hand sliding to cup the back of her head while the other one snuck around her waist. Lumine jerked in surprise before she relaxed into the kiss, her hand sliding under his shirt and touching the strip of bare skin never failing to distract her while her other hand found the belt loops of his trousers to pull him even closer.
He groaned into her mouth when her nails lightly scratched over his skin, before his lips left hers to apply a hot and burning pressure onto her throat, where her skin was so sensitive it seemed to connect directly to the bones in her legs which were probably going to give out soon. She gave a small whimper as Childe continued pressing open-mouthed kisses along her skin, and just before she could slide down to the floor, he let go of her.
His eyes were shining bright, and so was his mouth.
“Is this what you do with all your friends? Is this all we truly are?”
His voice was low and rough around the edges, enough to nearly make Lumine pull him back for another kiss. Another kiss that could make her forget, that could stop her from overthinking everything – a habit she’d fallen prey to ever since he walked into her life. But she willed herself to regain her calmness, although she knew he knew it was only a mere façade.
“Maybe… we are more than just friends”, she admitted before pausing for a moment’s short.
“But you’re a Harbinger and I am me. We will always stand on different sides of the scale.”
I can’t love someone I can’t trust. I can’t be with someone I know might fight me to death one day.
The unspoken words were hanging in the air between them like a dark, heavy cloud.
Childe couldn’t help but sigh. He always lost his control over his mask that he’d carefully perfected over the years when it came to her. Just a few weeks with her and he’d forgotten all about his original plans to use her as he’d used many girls before her. Not that he didn’t respect women, he had a mother and many sisters after all.
But in his line of work, true feelings were a distraction, something that could easily end with a knife in his back and so he’d resigned himself to keeping all his relationships loose and uncomplicated. Until she made him fall for her, with her golden eyes, that gentle smile accompanied by steel running through her veins when she made him fight to his body’s limits.
Until she made him crash headlong into his feelings for her. Feelings he knew she most probably reciprocated considering Lumine had a far worse poker face than him. And looking at her right in this moment it was clear that she was battling with her feelings, hanging herself on the excuse that they couldn’t be together because of his position.
It was almost a cosmic joke that this would be how they parted but Childe never gave up easily. When you grew up with as many siblings as he had, you learnt how to fight for what you wanted early. And he knew that Lumine was what he wanted the most. Before she could lose herself in her resolve to push him away, again, he tipped her chin up to force her to look at him.
Gold met blue.
“I may lie when it comes to my work, and I can’t promise to stop lying when I have to. I’m kind of a bad guy after all”, he said to which her eyes glistened at the memory of their first encounter.
“But I’d never lie about my feelings for you. I like you, Lumine. Is it that hard to trust in that? Is it that impossible to imagine we could work out?”
Lumine shivered, trying her best not to squirm under his gaze. Of course, she wanted to trust him. Of course, she wanted to believe they could work out. But despite the many things he’d shared with her, his open desire for battle and her, Childe was still quite like a book written in an indecipherable language to her most of the time.
She was afraid. Afraid of the strength of her feelings for him, afraid of the power he held over her, afraid of a future with or without him. Taking a deep, shaking breath she raised her head to look at him directly.
“I like you too”, she finally admitted, more to herself than him.
He deserved this much, Lumine thought, though saying the words out loud didn’t take away much of the heavy pressure she felt on her chest.
“But considering where you and I stand, you’ll only hurt my feelings one day”, Lumine admitted the greatest of her fears. A fear anyone in love knew about.
Childe only stared at her with a frown contorting his achingly handsome face. It made her heart ache to see him so quiet and for a long moment, they only stared at each other before he drew back a step and sighed. When he spoke, his voice was unusually meek and laced with unveiled hurt.
“And my feelings... do they not matter?”
It was all he said but Lumine felt like she was punched immediately.
“Childe, no! Of course your feelings matter!”, she exclaimed, ashamed of her own selfishness.
Her hands came up to cup his face and make him look at her.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, of course your feelings matter just as much… I’m- I’m just afraid.”
Her hands were trembling and yet he didn’t pull away but closed his eyes to lean into her touch.
“Then that makes two us.”
After a moment, Childe sighed and when he opened his eyes they seemed to be naked, as if she could see through them into the light of his heart.
He was so close, his skin warm and pulsating under her touch. He was here with her, so close, and breathing with her. And so she pulled him closer to her until their lips were almost touching again, felt the risk as if cold water was splashing on her skin. She knew that this was the moment of decision, to risk getting hurt or live a life of what-ifs and regrets.
She knew how she’d decide when her lips pressed onto his, smiling against each other, because of how good it felt. Shivering against each other, fearful of what they were doing. But neither stopped and when Lumine pulled back, she was laughing. His pupils were slightly widened - the icy crystal blue of his eyes now shimmering in the colour of a field of wild cornflowers. He was grinning at her, his wide and shimmering grin that made her feel warm all over.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that I finally grew on you”, Childe grinned unabashedly while his hands settled on her waist.
Part of him expected her to swat his arm away as they were in public but to his pleasant surprise, Lumine only leaned closer to him.
“Of course you did. Kind of the same way mould grows on walls”, Lumine agreed dryly, innocently fluttering her eyelashes at him.
To this the Harbinger only blinked, seemingly at loss for words before he gasped in mock offense and broke into roaring laughter just a moment’s later.
“Still as ruthless as ever, girlie.”
Her heart was still throbbing, still quite afraid of the uncertainty of their future together but before she could spiral down that hole again, he reached with his hand into his pocket to take out a small box, seemingly for jewellery. She gasped in shock but Childe only chuckled good-naturedly at the redness of her face.
“You’re too cute when you make that face”, he teased relentlessly. “But it’s not quite what you think this is.”
He opened the box and her eyes went wide when she saw the sun’s light sparkling off the red and ruby earring lying in the small velvet case. Before she could say anything, he’d already pushed her hair back and strung it through her ear.
“Now we match.”
His grin grew even wider at the blush creeping up her cheeks.
“Thank you, Childe”, Lumine muttered quietly despite her heart leaping inside her chest. “But I don’t have anything for you.”
The laugh he gave her was wide, his fingers sliding to her face to trace the contours of her lips.
“I could think of something only you could give me”, he said with wiggling eyebrows.
Lumine only rolled her eyes at him. There was only one thing he could possibly want of her.
“I’m not going to fight you as a goodbye.”
“And now my day is ruined.”
The sky was still an opaline blue despite the sun slowly starting to set. The time to say goodbye was close and after sharing a few more moments together Childe let go of her to turn and walk towards the ship waiting for its last passenger to board.
“You know," he cast her a sly grin over his shoulder, "This is usually the part where the woman hugs her man from behind and begs him not to leave."
Lumine only smirked in response, "Sorry but I'm not into cheesy romance like that. Unless you’re willing to leave the door to your vault at Northland Bank open for a few days. Then I might rethink it.”
They laughed for a moment before she stepped closer to him again, unwilling to let the moment end although it was time they parted.
She was unbearably cute looking up at him like this, Childe thought, eyes wide and gold and a slight smile on her lips. His hand reached into her hair, fingers gently ruffling through her locks and feathers before they rested on the little gem glimmering ruby in the setting sunlight.
“I knew my earring was going to look better on you than it does on me,” he hummed, pretty proud with himself.
He’d known she’d want something to remember him by during all the time they’d be separated from each other. The light blush dusting her cheeks was proof enough of that. His voice got one octave lower when he leaned down to brush his lips against her ear.
“Too bad you didn’t take my underwear instead.”
A gasp, followed by a smack to his forehead.
“Just leave already.”
And so he turned to leave, just to turn around and walk back to her immediately. Lumine’s eyebrows furrowed at this. What was Childe up to again? Not that she wanted him to leave, but it was time he left before the ship left without him.
“I almost forgot to ask but how are you going to continue your journey to Inazuma?”
His voice was carefully neutral, almost curious and it made her feel suspicious of him immediately.
“I’ll figure something out”, she said. “Now leave before my reputation gets completely ruined by the fact I’m standing here with a Harbinger.”
“And what if I say there was a way to get you to Inazuma, right today?”
The corners of his mouth were twitching and Lumine blinked at him. Once, and then again.
“Come again?”
Childe’s gaze was blue and direct as he pulled her close to him until her head was leaned against his shoulder.
“It’s possible that someone used his connections to acquire a diplomatic pass for one person to travel freely in and out of Inazuma. It’s also possible that this someone is about to board a ship sailing close to Inazuma and could bring a certain traveller with them."
His voice was dripping with pride, a look of amusement spread over his face and it would have triggered Lumine’s instinct to roll her eyes at him immediately if she wasn’t so busy staring at him wide-eyed. Part of her tried to convince herself that he was only messing with her but if anyone could have the connection to achieve such a miracle then it was him.
“I can’t just leave now, Paimon is still-“
“Your little companion is already on board and pretty much living in the ship’s kitchen now. I have no clue how a tiny little thing like her can have such a bottomless stomach and I’m quite sure she’s currently eating through my wallet but... she’s already on board.”
His satisfied smirk only grew wider when Lumine only stared at him without saying another word before she sighed.
Well, this would certainly explain why Paimon had grinned so mischievously this morning when Lumine left her to bid Childe goodbye. After this was over they’d have to talk about Paimon’s tendency to get bribed so easily. Especially by Childe, whom the fairy loved to call a useless clown just to change her mind the moment he dangled one coin of mora in front of her.
“I can’t just vanish without saying goodbye to everyone”, she quipped back at Childe despite her excitement of finally having a real chance to resume her journey.
He only continued to smirk in response and shrugged his shoulders.
“Write letters.”
It was too good to be true. Too good to say no to, and Childe knew that she couldn’t possibly refuse such an offer. It didn’t matter that her lips were still tingling from their earlier kisses - she didn’t want to give into him that easily, not now, not ever.
“Think you can win me over that easily? Don’t get ahead of yourself, Tartaglia”, Lumine said with the haughtiest voice she could muster but slipped her hand into his nonetheless.
She felt him laugh as an answer as he touched his lips to her temple. His warm breath stirred the curls by her hair, the earring dangling against her skin before his lips travelled down her face and along her jaw. He truly had no shame and despite her embarrassment, Lumine couldn’t find it in herself to push him away.
Of course, she would take his offer.
Turning her head, Lumine cast a last glance at the city she’d come to love so much – the wooden planks under her feet that were warped and weathered by years of sun and salt, the loud claims of merchants trying to sell their freshly caught fish and the air smelling like salt and seaweed.
Yes, today was indeed a day for goodbye though it was different than she had expected. Maybe there was a good in goodbye sometimes, Lumine thought as she reached up to brush her lips against Childe’s before they walked towards a new adventure, hand in hand.