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"Kiss me, hyung. Please, I want you to kiss me."
~
By the time the group got back, it was well past midnight, and nearing 1 in the morning. They'd been out at the practice studio to celebrate Beomgyu's 20th birthday. They were tired and worn out, and pretty much all went back to their respectable quarters once they got home. With half-awake goodnights, they went their separate ways.
So Soobin trailed behind his best friend to their room, a comfortable silence resting among them. When the door shut behind them, he sighed.
"So?" He asked.
"So what?" Beomgyu replied, peeling off his sweatshirt. Soobin unconsciously held down his shirt as he did it.
"So was your 20th birthday a good one?" Beomgyu was silent, contemplating before he turned to face Soobin.
"Yeah. It was pretty good," he replied, in contrast to his barely furrowed eyebrows. Soobin placed his hand on his roommate's shoulder.
"I'm glad."
After changing, washing his face, and brushing his teeth, Soobin sat against the wall in hid bottom bunk, scrolling through twitter on his phone. Their fans were buzzing about Beomgyu's birthday live. There were the usual comments, telling how cute they were, and how happy they looked. But there were a few comments that really caught his eye.
wow! they all seem so happy, but I can't help feeling like beomgyu is acting off.
Is it just me thqat feels like gyu seems sad?
He scrolled some more.
I know it's his birthday, but Beomgyu seems upset. I hope he's okay.
Soobin pursed his lips.
Beomgyu didn't seem upset, but then again, it's not like Soobin was looking that much into it.
As if on cue, the boy exited the bathroom, his hair still a little damp. He was wearing one of Soobin's sweatshirts, undeniably oversized, and white shorts. Soobin put his phone down. Yawning, Beomgyu turned off the lights. As he was about to climb onto his bunk, Soobin grabbed his hand.
"Sit with me."
He obliged, climbing onto Soobin's bed before sitting against the wall next to the taller boy. It was dark, but Soobin could still see Beomgyu's face, illuminated by the moonlight filtered through the blinds.
"What's up?" Beomgyu inquired. Drowsiness hung imminent in his face.
"Your birthday. You liked it, right?" Beomgyu sighed.
"Yes, hyung, I already answered that question. Is that it?"
"No."
"Then continue."
"Are you happy?" In the dim light, Beomgyu frowned and knitted his eyebrows. He raised his voice as he spoke.
"Of course I'm happy, hyung. What's with these stupid questions?" Soobin could tell Beomgyu was getting impatient, so he blurted out the first question that came to mind.
"Did you get everything you wanted?"
Beomgyu shrunk back into his frame, turning his head away from Soobin.
"Pretty much," he muttered, muffled by his sleeve.
Beomgyu had received a variety of things from the members. Yeonjun had gotten him a cardigan, again, he got a plushie from Hueningkai, and a guitar pick from Taehyun. Soobin gave him a sweatshirt, grey in color, with an embriodered bear near the hood, along with the cologne that Soobin wore. Beomgyu had always told him he loved the way he smelled.
"Pretty much," Soobin echoed.
"Yeah." Soobin paused before speaking.
"Is there anything else you want?"
"Not really."
"No." Soobin reached across his body, his hand meeting Beomgyu's jaw before turning his head to face him. "Tell me,"
"Is there anything else you want from me? Anything at all." Soobin's eyes searched Beomgyu's face, desperately looking for a reaction. Instead of meeting his gaze, Beomgyu's eyes rested on the window behind him.
"Yes." he blinked. "But I won't ask that of you."
Soobin pressed further, leaning further towards his roommate. He put his other hand on Beomgyu's calf as a reassurance.
"Hey, just tell me. Whatever it is, I'll do it. For You."
Beomgyu didn't speak. They sat in silence, Soobin's hand still on his cheek. He brushed his thumb across Beomgyu' skin, feeling his steady inhales and exhales blow on his knuckles.
Abruptly, in a sudden manner, Soobin's gaze was met. His eyes were intense, and almost pleading. Even more unexpected was what Beomgyu said next.
"Kiss me, hyung." He brought his hand on top of Soobin's, falling into his touch.
"Please, I want you to kiss me."
"Beomgyu," was all Soobin could manage to get out his mouth.
"Please, hyung, just this once," he begged, eyes watering. "I want you to kiss me. Really kiss me."
Really kiss him. That was what Beomgyu wanted? The one thing Soobin couldn't give him. He couldn't. It would be wrong. They were idols, and bandmates, and best friends, and they couldn't. Soobin was the leader, for God's sake. What kind of leader kisses his bandmate? And what kind of friend kisses his best friend?
"Beomgyu."
"Hyung," Beomgyu yelped, his sobs becoming more erratic. His grip on Soobin's hand was tighter now, as if he was afraid that Soobin would disappear from in front of him. Beomgyu's other hand wiped his eyes, tear stains littering his sleeve.
"Beomgyu," he continued, "I can't. We can't. It's wrong and-"
"I don't care if it's wrong! I don't care if we can't! Just once, just one kiss. One real kiss. That's it. That's all I ask." He took a sharp, shaky breath. "Then I'll never, ever ask you do anything like it again." The leader was silent.
"Please, hyung. I'm begging you."
Soobin's heart hammered in his chest, blood pumping in his ears.
"Just... One?"
"Just one." Beomgyu affirmed.
Soobin gently moved Beomgyu's hand, occupied with drying his tears away from his face, before slipping the smaller hand in his own.
He leaned towards his best friend, muttering "Just one," this time as an affirmation for himself, before pressing his lips against Beomgyu's.
His lips were salty from his tears. They were warm, and full, and perfect.
They slotted together perfectly, like puzzle pieces. Beomgyu was desperate, and hungry, and forlorn in his kissing, not letting Soobin get away, even for a breath. Soobin mirrored him, bringing his hand to grip his other cheek, leaning into the kiss, pushing Beomgyu against the wooden bedframe of the bunk beds.
Beomgyu's pried further at his mouth and Soobin complied, giving himself completely to his best friend. The younger boy's hands were now in his hair, pulling and combing.
His cheeks were wet. Beomgyu was still crying, so Soobin dried his tears with his thumbs and delicately ran his fingers across his nape, as if he were a fragile doll.
Before long, Soobin became breathless to the point of no return. As he broke the kiss, Beomgyu helplessly chased after his lips, eyes half lidded, cheeks blotted, and lips glossy and red. He looked up at Soobin, a pitiful look upon his face, his arms still around the leader's neck.
"Hyung..."
"Shh." Having caught his breath, Soobin brushed Beomgyu's hair back before kissing his face, all over. He started at this brow, then his hairline, his temple, his cheek, his nose, the corner of his mouth, until finally kissing him chastely on his lips. A good, proper kiss before resting their foreheads against one another. He wiped the tears still falling down Beomgyu's face with his thumbs.
"Beomgyu."
"Soobin-hyung."
"Beomgyu," he breathed out. "If that was wrong, I want to be wrong again. And again, and again, and a million times over. I want to be wrong with you. I want you."
Beomgyu smoothed out the crease between his brow before kissing his forehead.
"Hyung," he whispered, falling into Soobin's embrace. "I love you. Let's be wrong together."
~
fin.