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And baby when you sleep, do you dream of me?
And when you're awake, do you think of me?
I need to know, how do you feel?
Two and a half months of uncertainty, of TK debating whether or not his banter with Carlos is merely cordial or flirtatious. Having a crush—especially at this magnitude— is the last thing TK had been expecting but he failed to imagine how anyone could be immune to Carlos Reyes.
More than just his looks, of which that man certainly wasn’t lacking, TK had been instantly drawn to Carlos’ personality, his dry sense of humor that never failed to bring out a laugh from TK any time they were together. Out on calls Carlos’ assuredness was captivating. Having a front row seat to the man in action, confident and brilliant, has made TK fall that much harder.
He’s spent weeks taking notice of all these little facets about Carlos, storing it all away. It’s been a privilege getting to know him, to extend their working relationship to a personal one. But TK wishes to take it one step further and make it romantic.
Carlos seems to be in his thoughts constantly, to the point that TK feels as if he’s always mere moments away from losing his mind with the weight of his thoughts continuously pressing on him. What he wants is to know where Carlos stands definitively, to not have to guess and go in circles wondering if his wishful thinking is making him more optimistic than he should be that this could work.
At a local coffee shop together now, Carlos sits across from him, head angled toward the window as he watches people pass by. It’s such a mundane thing but with Carlos, it feels more like entertainment for TK. There’s so much to take in from the tendons in Carlos’ neck to the small smile that comes across his face when two little kids skip by excitedly.
As Carlos watches the world, TK watches him and he can admit, as he always does to himself, that he likes all that he sees. There’s such kindness and warmth in Carlos’ slightly distracted gaze. TK wants, desperately so, for Carlos to look at him like that.
Sometimes he can convince himself that Carlos senses a spark between them too, that he isn’t the only one between the pair of them that feels this pull.
“You’re staring,” Carlos says suddenly, turning to look at TK. “You do that from time to time and I always wonder what you’re thinking.”
TK’s brows bunch together, his heartbeat picking up.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Carlos sighs softly and sits with his back firmly against the chair. His gaze is searching as if he’s trying to find something, maybe the right words or something in his expression, TK’s not entirely sure. Either way, his stomach is already churning with this surprising turn in conversation.
“Do you like me?” Carlos asks outright.
Everything inside TK seizes. Carlos’ eyes betray nothing of what he’s thinking, of what TK’s response one way or another would mean to him personally.
TK laughs awkwardly, so caught off guard by the bluntness of the question. This is the last thing he’d been expecting Carlos to say and coming up with a coherent thought, let alone a coherent reply is impossible.
“I…I mean, I,” he stammers, face burning.
Carlos remains unmoving and somehow it makes this whole ordeal all the more mortifying.
“I’ll take that as a yes then.”
“What is happening right now? Oh God.”
“It’s okay, TK,” Carlos says but TK has a very hard time believing that. There is nothing okay or normal about his crush finding him out and looking for answers.
He fiddles with his neglected mug, the remnants of his coffee long since cold thanks to his recreational viewing. He taps a finger against the rim of the cup, shaking his head.
His heart won’t stop racing. Even without saying the words, the truth is out there and it’s enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.
“Cause of death: complete and total embarrassment,” TK groans, burying his face on his hand.
Across from him, Carlos laughs. “I could think of worse ways to die so I’m pretty sure you’ll survive this. And besides, you may be embarrassed but I’m flattered.”
TK spreads his fingers, peeking out between them to look at the man before dropping his hand.
“Okay, I can work with that. Flattered is promising.”
“Flattered is also another way of saying that I’m definitely interested. While you’ve been attempting to stealthily check me out these last few weeks,” the man teases, “I’ve been doing the same with you.”
TK’s eyes widen as he finds himself incapable of hiding his shock. Carlos eyes him quizzically.
“That surprises you? I thought it’s been obvious this whole time.”
“It only would’ve been clear if you hung a neon sign above your head. You’re a little too good at disguising your feelings.”
Carlos shifts in his seat, his hands clasping on the tabletop before him as he stares directly into TK’s eyes. The look is intense and piercing, leaving no other alternative than for TK to hold his breath and stare back.
“Allow me to state it plainly then: TK, I’ve liked you since the day I met you. The only reason I didn’t say anything is because I wanted to be sure you were serious about this, that this isn’t a fleeting crush. I don’t want something casual with you, TK. That’s not really my speed and I like you too much to pretend otherwise.”
TK blinks twice slowly as if coming out of a haze. Across from him, Carlos’ face is pensive, a tinge of uncertainty in his eyes.
“And…I’m coming on too strong?” the man wonders aloud.
TK is quick to shake his head.
“No. God, no. I’m just having a hard time believing we’re actually having a conversation and you’re saying all the words I’ve been dying to hear.”
TK can feel his face flush but his candidness is rewarded with a relieved smile from Carlos. It’s all the encouragement he needs to keep talking, to drive the point home even further.
“I don’t want to be casual with you either. All I want is you.”
It’s such a heavy statement to make on a Saturday morning in a public space but TK couldn’t care less about the people around them and what they may be listening in on. His sole focus is the man across from him and the smile that breaks across his face like a sunrise.
Carlos unfurls his hand, stretching one across the table and latching on to TK’s. It’s a gentle touch but it sets every nerve ending in his body aflame.
TK takes it a step further, turning his hand palm up and lacing their fingers. He stares down at their hands for a moment, admiring the way they fit perfectly with one another. Carlos’ thumb brushes against his skin gently, pulling TK’s gaze upward and to the man’s face once more. The sunlight pouring through the shop’s window makes Carlos glow, making this already warm man all the more welcoming.
“Are you free tomorrow night?” Carlos asks.
TK’s breath catches in his throat, surprised yet delighted that Carlos is keen on making plans so soon.
“Yeah, I am. What did you have in mind?”
Carlos chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s a surprise. Do you trust me to make it a good one?”
“I’d trust you with my life, Carlos. I’m sure you can handle planning a date just fine.”