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Oh, all my nights taste like gold
Yeah, when I'm with you it's like everything glows
And all my days we can lay low
Yeah, when we're waking up
We're waking up slow
Early mornings have never really been TK’s thing. All too often on his days off, one could expect to find him clinging to his pillow a bit longer, burrowing in more deeply beneath his blankets as he rested soundedly. It’s a rare occurrence to wake up now and find that the sun has barely hitched itself over the horizon and Carlos, breathing softly beside him, is still fast asleep.
TK relishes in the silence now, the call and response of birds outside, the gentle tread of tires as a car drives past. The world is already coming to life around him but nothing outside of these four walls truly matters to him now.
He shifts slightly in bed, careful not to disrupt Carlos. With his head squarely on his pillow, TK turns his head to the right and studies Carlos’ profile. He takes in the plane of his cheek, the curve of his lips, and the slope of his nose. The expanse of Carlos’ back is bathed in morning light that streams through the window, the curtains pushed aside. TK lifts a hand, watching the shadow it cast against Carlos’ skin. He smiles to himself and lowers his hand, drawing in a breath.
He can’t help but to wonder what Carlos is dreaming about now. The man’s face is so serene, so unbothered that TK, at least, can conclude it’s something pleasant.
All he can do is stare, watch in awe of the mechanics at play here with the breaths he takes, the steady rise and fall of his body. TK reaches out a hand hesitantly, unable to stop himself from gently cupping Carlos’ face. The man’s eyes flutter for a moment as TK strokes the apple of his cheek with the pad of his thumb. Carlos’ eyes open slowly, landing right on TK.
TK smiles shyly at him. Carlos blinks twice and TK drops his hand, pulling it back to his side of the bed. Carlos rubs at his eye and yawns with a shudder, shaking off the last bits of fatigue and peering over at TK.
“Were you watching me this whole time?” Carlos muses.
“It was supposed to be romantic. Now I just feel like a total creep.”
Carlos lets out a laugh, a deep one that seemingly starts in the pit of his stomach and branches out, rattling his shoulders. His eyes crinkle at the corners, a wide smile plastered on his face. Carlos’ joy practically makes him glow, the early morning sunlight only adding to that. It’s enough to take TK’s breath away, enough to leave him speechless.
This image before him now is arguably the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen. Carlos’ face is still soft with sleep, his curls unruly and yet somehow so perfect.
He can’t help but to stare, his heart tightening in his chest. Carlos is just so beautiful, so unbelievably open now. It makes TK always want to strive to see him like this, to keep this uninhibited smile on Carlos’ face and ensure his happiness. Inevitably they’ll have to leave this bed and join the rest of the world. But these few precious moments here belong solely to them.
This is far more than TK could have expected to get his hands on in life. It feels as if he’s somehow woken up into a dream.
“What?” Carlos asks, his smile fading slowly as he looks back at TK. His eyes remain bright, expect even.
“Nothing. I just…I love it when you laugh.”
TK shakes his head and looks down, brows furrowed. “Maybe that’s a dumb thing to say but I just— seeing you like that, it makes me happy. And all of this,” he says, gesturing to the bed around them. “Getting to this point with you, I don’t know. These last few months have been amazing.”
To think of where he was just before coming to Austin, barely clinging to life on his living room floor, so unsure that his life had meaning with what he thought was his future being torn away from him. It’s so hard to look back on his last few days in New York. If only he could have known what was in store for him in Texas, that this man and this life overall was around the corner.
But TK has had time to ponder the what-ifs of it all. This road certainly wasn’t easy but the contentment he’s discovered in Austin has been truly unmatched. Between his co-workers and now this tight bond with Carlos, TK feels like a different person entirely.
Gone now are the days of feeling trapped in a world devoid of feeling and color. Here now he’s able to live so boldly and vibrantly.
He had held on so stubbornly to an inaccuracy, believing it to be true, needing it to be real. Alex was a pit stop. Carlos was his destination.
Carlos smiles at him, leaning in and kissing the tip of his nose.
“They’ve been pretty spectacular for me too.”
TK can’t help but to grin at this.
“Thank you for choosing me. You didn’t have to but you did anyway.”
Carlos adjusts himself, propping up his arm to rest his head on his hand.
“My heart will always choose yours. It picked you before I even realized what was happening.”
TK closes his eyes, resting his forehead against Carlos’. He stays still, simply breathing him in, taking comfort in the warmth of his body so close to his. For so long TK has felt as if he’s been begging to be loved, to be seen, to be wanted. He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Carlos sees him fully and accepts him just as he is. Such a thing is rare, especially to look back at someone else’s heart and see everything yours desires staring back. And yet, that’s exactly what he has now, right in the palm of his hand.
“I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving you,” he says quietly.
“I fully support this plan,” Carlos muses, kissing the corner of his mouth.
Carlos runs his fingers down his back and TK can feel goosebumps appear on his skin. He shivers at his touch, gasping softly. Carlos smiles slyly and leans in closer, pressing his mouth fully against his. TK’s arms drape over his shoulders, pulling Carlos in as tightly as he possibly can, relishing in the warmth of the morning sun and his boyfriend in his arms.